People send me stuff.
Here at WUWT, we all tend to laugh at Dr. Joshua Halpern who fancies himself as a rabbit and writes in tongues third person as ‘Eli Rabett‘ about the evils of global warming to show everyone how smart he is, while twitching his nose at everyone else. He’s one of the more colorful characters of the warmist side of the debate who pretty much personifies that clique, though has strong competition from SUNY’s Scott “super” Mandia when it comes to being the most ridiculous of college scientists. Seeing how these folks tend to self-parody, I see that as license to poke a little fun at them. After all, he endorses this as a valid tactic with the “Eli Rabett approach on climate communication with deniers,”.
This episode of government stupidity about needing a rabbit license for a magic show, followed by a “disaster plan” for severe weather that may harm the rabbit, made me think of him, because what else could pop into your mind when you think of such things? Now with extreme weather aka #poisonedweather™ making bigger weather disasters every minute, we all need a disaster plan for props pets. Right?
I’m going to get right to work on one for the most prestigious member of the Union of Concerned Scientists.
I get word that David Burge (Iowahawk) writes on Facebook about a magician that is required to have a “disaster plan” for his rabbit, no this isn’t a joke.
I swear I am not making this up. In the annals of government stupidity, this story may very well be the Mount Everest. Bob McCarty Writes:
My USDA rabbit license requirement has taken another ridiculous twist. I just received an 8 page letter from the USDA, telling me that by July 29 I need to have in place a written disaster plan, detailing all the steps I would take to help get my rabbit through a disaster, such as a tornado, fire, flood, etc. They not only want to know how I will protect my rabbit during a disaster, but also what I will do after the disaster, to make sure my rabbit gets cared for properly. I am not kidding–before the end of July I need to have this written rabbit disaster plan in place, or I am breaking the law.
Source: http://bobmccarty.com/2013/06/28/usda-tells-magician-to-write-disaster-plan-for-his-rabbit/
It gets even weirder, from the start of the episode with the USDA:
Finally, it was time for the inspection at the Hahne’s home. Marty decided to ask some questions.
“My friend has a snake,” he said. The inspector quickly told him they don’t regulate snakes.
“No,” Marty said, “I mean he feeds his snake rabbits. He breaks their necks and drops them in the cage for the snake’s food. Does he have to have a permit for that?” Again, she told him there’s no regulation for that.
“So I could break my rabbit’s neck and feed him to my friend’s snake and I wouldn’t need a license?” Marty asked.
“Correct,” she said, “But you need a license to use him in your magic show.”
The obvious question (besides the snake food licensing one) is: does Howard University need a license to keep ‘Eli Rabett’ around for entertainment purposes and does Howard University have a disaster plan to keep Eli Rabett safe in case the university is flooded by accelerating sea level rise or flattened by an errant derecho? Inquiring minds want to know.
Having raised a few house rabbits over many years (Holland lops carrying the rex gene), I can assert that the normal rabbit disaster is waking up to find eight more than were there when you went to bed. So now I only have girl bunnies.
I just couldn’t stop my mouse 😉
No doubt they will reject any plan he comes up with. They will prosecute him to the Supreme Court and lose and then threaten to sue him until he gives being a magician.
Well one of the most popular breeds of rabbits, that you see at County Fairs, or 4-H clubs, in the USA, is called ” The New Zealand White Rabbit ” ,and everybody knows that there are no native land mammals in New Zealand. No ! seals and sea-lions are not “land” mammals, nor are dolphins (Pelorus Jack), nor are bats (they’re birds of the air).
So yes, New Zealand DOES have a disaster plan for rabbits.
Each rural community, has a “Rabbit Board” , which meets once a month, to discuss the list of the ten most wanted rabbits, in the territory.
Depending on the level of infestation, they get out their guns and dogs, and ferrets, and they go out and hunt down those varmints. The ferrets boldly go, where guns and dogs have not gone before.
If the pestilence is more wide spread, then they go up in a helicopter, and spread poisoned carrots over the infected area.
Those are probably the same helicopters they use to machine gun the deer herds, from the air: deer eat grass, sheep eat grass, nyet on the deer !
Well they got rid of the bulk of their rabbit plague by spreading myxomatosis, also probably by air. There ain’t hardly nothing that Kiwi, won’t spread from the air. Fence posts, barbed wire, you name it, if it fits, it goes by air.
So there simply is no such critter as “the New Zealand white rabbit”, next time you see one, at your county fair.
But as to Dr. Joshua Halpern, what are his official climate credentials; I’ve probably read it somewhere.
I thought he was Foster Grant, or am I confusing him with Papagena, or izzat Papageno probably ?
But Eli sometimes posts at WUWT but quite seldom.
PS NO mammals; ergo NO predators; ergo NO need to fly,
That’s bad for kiwi, weka, kakapo, tuatara, etc. etc.
My plan is to eat the rabbit during the disaster.
USDA Emergency Rabbit Plan:
“RUN BUNNY !! RUN !!”
There is something called “gamma rabbit”, which is iconic.
Now we have “SUNY Bunny”.
Perhaps your cartoonist…
Eli Rabett, Connolley’s side kick on Wikipedia: when the infamous Willy cannot order the erasing of a living scientist’s page, Eli does the job for him.
If there is a major power outage, the best rabbit disaster plan involves a skewer and hot charcoal.
If there is huge destruction from a tornado, and there is a food shortage, the best plan involves a skewer and hot charcoal.
If there is a huge snow storm event, the best disaster plan involves sewing rabbit skin mittens, a skewer and hot coals.
I there is a flood event that strands the rabbit and its owner, the best strategy involves finding some dry ground, a skewer and hot charcoal.
I think that about covers it.
And they claim skeptics are the flat earthers.
If this is actually a USDA demand/policy, we tax payers deserve a refund.
Australia has a licensing system for rabbits designed to make sure you have a damn good reason to keep any rabbits at all and here’s why.
http://ferrebeekeeper.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/718px-rabbits_myxomatosistrial_wardangisland_1938.jpg
If you want to know what Australian’s think of rabbits and why just google “australian rabbit plagues”.
From the late 1800’s through to the 1950’s and the introduction of myxomatosis, those rabbit plagues in numbers everywhere that you can see in the photo above, covered over half of Australia, australia in total area is almost exactly equal to the 48 contiguous states of the USA.
As small boy in the early 1940’s I can still recall seeing the ground in an emerging wheat crop almost covered with acres of rabbits so the very ground seemed to move as they scattered to their immense warrens covering many acres in a lot of cases, They just literally were eating every one of those emerging plants down to the roots.
In some of the plagues in the dry outback the rabbits burrowed down around the roots of trees , stripped the roots of their bark covering to get the moisture and killed the trees which in some outback areas those clumps of dead tree trunks can still be seen standing.
The damage to Australia’s native ecology and plant species caused by a hundred and fifty years of the introduction of the european rabbit is almost incalculable.
To make matters much, much worse, the Fox was also introduced to give a further flavour of Old England with further utterly devastating consequences for Australia’s ground dwelling native birds and small mammals. The fox of course in it’s huge numbers, made no impression at all on the plague rabbit population.
There is a great deal of breast beating today about how we are suposedly destroying the planet. Well they ain’t seen nothing until those same breast beaters who really haven’t a clue about history or about the past go back in that history and see where the true devastation occurred and why
Considering our numbers on this planet, our impact today is remarkably small compared to the past with it’s human numbers which were only a quarter of what they are today..
Today thankfully, we have through research and the world wide communications network have a far better idea on just what damage can be done by ignorant do-gooders of every type and description who are going to change the world to what they personally believe is the true and correct image and society has imperfectly perhaps, put in checks and balances to try and prevent those gross environmentally destroying mistakes of the past..
“I just received an 8 page letter from the USDA, telling me that by July 29 I need to have in place a written disaster plan, detailing all the steps I would take to help get my rabbit through a disaster, such as a tornado, fire, flood, etc. They not only want to know how I will protect my rabbit during a disaster, but also what I will do after the disaster, to make sure my rabbit gets cared for properly.”
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This reminds me of the impossibly detailed lists of questions the IRS was requiring Tea Party groups applying for tax-exempt status to fill out in order to harass them.
Attention Eric Holder: initiate a criminal probe to determine whether conservative magicians and rabbits are being singled out for this treatment.
Maybe Howard University have a friend with a large python and a secret ‘feed the friends python’ plan in readiness for such an emergency.
“Cook, bring me my Hasenpfeffer !!!!” – Yosemite Sam
David Ball says:
June 29, 2013 at 7:08 pm
“Cook, bring me my Hasenpfeffer !!!!” – Yosemite Sam
__———-_———————————————–
Beat me to it 😉
So Eli Rabbett takes a trip down the rabbit hole to the alternative World of Alice in Climatic Drama Land.
We have a rabbit proof fence through Australia … true.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit-proof_fence
It’s there to keep the vermin out … a similar thing could be done for this rabbet, too. Fence him with ridicule and laughter.
george e. smith says:
June 29, 2013 at 4:07 pm
PS NO mammals; ergo NO predators; ergo NO need to fly,
That’s bad for kiwi, weka, kakapo, tuatara, etc. etc.
Umm, so the New Zealand Harrier and the bush falcon are not predators? That’s news to ornithologists. Plus please don’t forget the fortunately extinct Haast eagle, but of course that was not a predator either.
What about my jackalopes? Will the USDA require a disaster plan for *horned* rabbits used for entertainment purposes?
The few cases of magicians attempting to use jackalopes in place of rabbits have all ended in tragedy, so moot point.
[Snip. Russell Seitz is <persona non grata here. — mod.]
I suspect the USDA is in on the no animal in any circus type err derr think..
like only humans can perform in circuses, if they get their way..
nothing to be caged made a pet of, rules n reg on pet dogs breeders etc are all leaning this way already., funny how embedding a sharp pronged RFID chip into muscles for life is considered a nice caring thing to do?
so they can track n trace the OWNER more than their pet.
mind you OUR turns coming, and the elders in homes with memory issue ARE already being chipped too,.
best bunny is on a plate, stewed or baked!
There is only one answer, throw him in the briar patch!
In posts and comments, he usually refers to himself in third person. ‘Nuff said…
This has been a hot topic at a Petting farm website.
Best Plan
1. Consult FEMA
2. Follow directions given by FEMA
The new, politically correct Looney Tunes cartoon:
Shhhh. Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m fwom the USDA and I’m wegulating wabbits. Hahahahahahahaha…..