Your tax dollars at work…
Guest essay by Eric Worrall h/t JoNova – Did you know that you can email every single tree in the City of Melbourne, Australia – and they’ll write back?
According to Broadsheet Melbourne:
“Some said we were wasting money, but the trees were always going to have individual ID numbers anyway. So it was only logical we’d assign the ID numbers to an email which connects these trees to the community,” says Melbourne city councillor, Arron Wood.
So far the messages have ranged from piss takes to genuine expressions of devotion. So, if you’ve ever used a tree to prop yourself up with on a night out, the world’s most liveable city is now giving you the chance to apologise the morning after.
http://www.broadsheet.com.au/melbourne/entertainment/article/trees-return-your-emails
The trees apparently often tell sad stories if they are asked about their future – experts estimate that 30,000 trees in the Melbourne area will die in the next few decades due to old age, coupled with the effects of worsening droughts caused by climate change.
Critics of tree communication might suggest that the money spent helping the trees to answer their correspondence could be better spent on drought mitigation measures – more irrigation, maybe some silica pellets to help with soil moisture retention. But perhaps it does the trees good to talk through their problems.
As a former resident of Melbourne, there is more than one tree to which I probably owe an apology, thanks to the lamentable lack of after hours facilities in some parts of the city. But I don’t think I will ever get drunk enough to write an email to a tree.
(Anthony) See also:
Melbourne’s trees bombarded with emailed love letters
Guardian Australia emailed a ginkgo maidenhair tree in Fitzroy Gardens, a park near Melbourne’s city centre, which responded: “Dear Oliver, Thank you for your lovely words. I am very well. Enjoy your day. Yours sincerely, Tree 1441724.”
A nearby ficus was also contacted for comment on the scheme but has yet to reply.
This government funded lunacy reminds me of the epic video showing crying and wailing over trees:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lduawrDyIUE
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“I talk… to the trees, but they don’t… strewth, yes they DO listen to me!”
Too bad they don’t have a number for this tree as it really deserves an apology by the warmists:
if it’s the same tree, an oceanographer named Nils-Axel Mörner has an account of this. If anyone wants to find it.
As I remember it, according to him it was not “turned over” to scientists. They saw on TV an interview Mörner gave, explaining how the tree indicated the sea-level narrative was BS, and they then immediately traveled to the Maldives and cut down the tree
Look carefully at the top right image. It’s an extremely bad composite of two photos. It’s so bad I’m inclined to believe it was done to discredit skeptics.
A search of “Nils-Axel Mörner Maldives” brings up this:
http://whatsupwiththatwatts.blogspot.com/2013/06/dr-nils-axel-morners-maldives-tree.html
Government putting words in the mouths of trees. Hmmm.
That has a ring of truth to it.
I can hear them now: “Feed me!”
^- this is knot news.
I figured someone wood say that.
You’re really going out on a limb with that statement.
Bad puns. Wooden you know it.
Perhaps he’s just branching out.
Leaf me alone.
What’stomata with a few bush-league jokes, Bud?
(In another vein, I think I’d better bough out before folks start barking at me….)
I just twigged that. Oh well, bark to work.
Think of the poor sap who has to pretend to be a tree.
Clearly a splinter group on this thread.
I am board with all these puns.
Well a lot of us don’t trust people who will do anything just to be poplar.
I think these people who send emails to trees are wall-to-walnuts!
What a bunch of saps!
This kookaburra will sum up my thoughts on that!
Oh spare us this punishment!
Exactly ! If Australian trees really could speak for themselves, they would shout aloud:
“GIVE US MORE CO2 !!! SO THAT WE CAN SAVE MORE OF OUR SCANTY WATER SUPPLY WITH LESS OPEN STOMATA ! “
Dorothy talked to the trees.
So did the Warmist Prince Charles. Well actually potted plants.
King Chuck is going to be a hoot.
All that inbreeding is a perfect compliment to CAGW “science”.
Knotty knotty, Jimbo – he’s to be King of the Elm one day, don’tcha know.
Prince Charlie has a point doncha know.
“So Charles was right – you should talk to plants, scientists discover”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-478558/So-Charles-right–talk-plants-scientists-discover.html
Excellent news!
Talking to trees should be made compulsory, as they would all say: “gimme more CO2 and gimme it now.”
How could 400 billion trees (NASA estimate) be wrong? That’s circa 55 trees for each and every one of us.
Oops, make that 61 trees per person.
How many is that in Hiroshima atom bombs?
That is 400 billion trees just in the Amazon. Now what if we added the Congo, central America, boreal forests etc. Plant more trees! Yikes!
https://science.naturalis.nl/en/about-us/news/onderzoek/science-publication-half-of-all-of-400-billion-trees-in-the-amazon-is-made-up-of-just-227-species/
http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/10/21/400-billion-trees-belonging-to-16000-different-species-grow-in-the-Amazon/6731382383599/
I think there is one tree in Yamal (?) I would like to send an email too. Mann owes it a check.
It won’t reply, Mann paid it a lot (of whatever you pay trees) to keep its trunk under wraps, so no one can ever have a second look at the raw ‘data’..
If the trees could talk they’d “more CO2, please”!
I would truly enjoy a job personifying trees. Truth be told though I wouldn’t last long in it if my trees were to become oracles of CAGW.
There is umpteen thousands of trees in Appalachian coal country many of which the “treehugging” greenies would luv to send a personal E-mail thanking it for their getting arrested.
I can “smell” a few new Government Grant Applications already in the process of being written just to provide that “environmentally friendly” service to them.
Aw, come on, I’ve been asleep and it is 1st. April.
Surely.
No?
Wood you say? “Burn more fossil fuel.”
Sounds like you Aussies are getting as good at pissing away money as us Americans.
Yep Dave. We’re right behind you circling the same drain..
It has been said – ‘The average age of the world’s greatest civilisations from the beginning of history has been about 200 years.’
But we Aussies are fast learners.
I’m sure Prince Charles would like to strike up a conversation, though he’s more noted for his spider scrawl letters than e-mail.
They should do the same thing for people who are praying… they are waiting for an answer, too.
I plan to go into the government office where people write those tree responses with an axe and smash everything in sight. Then, when brought before the judge, plead “SANITY”.
Listen I don’t think talking to trees is crazy. To some people, trees are a spiritual thing. When it comes to all things spiritual, all to their own. I am not going to mess with anybodies belief system, because it is different than my own.
What I think is crazy, absolutely insane, clinically delusional, a severe catatonic separation from reality, is people emailing government employees who are pretending to be trees, and those government workers responding as trees.
YOU like a tree, YOU take a walk, YOU go see the tree. YOU talk to the tree. Trees do not use email!
You sir, are WRONG!
Clearly, you’ve never used Pine or Elm before.
OK, that was a UNIX joke…
ELM – ELectronic Mail
PINE – Pine Is Not Elm
Log in as ROOT 😉
Rule of Nature: When you give idiots the unaccountable ability to spend other people’s money, they tend to do idiotic things.
It would be quite simple to provide automated email responses based on their ID. “Hi [Hipstergirl] from [Richmond], I’m [Ashley] the [ash]. Thanks for contacting me. I’m [13] years old and my last checkup showed that my health is [excellent] [but] that I’m threatened by anthropogenic climate disruption. My last drink was [18] days ago. I live in [Collingwood] exactly here[GoogleEarth link]. Peace and have a nice day.
Druids everywhere, rejoice! We can now communicate.
^- knock on wood…
Each pump at the sewer lift station has a number, so following their logic, i each sewage lift pump number gets assigned an email address of a Melbourne city employee. Inspecting pump AW23-PT-240-300A (a 240 volt 3-phase pump that can handle 300 gallons per minute {with suspended solids}) I think I would like this pump attached to Arron Wood City Councillor.
No, I’m just so depressed.
I’m rooting for the trees: use email; save paper!
Rooting means something entirely different down there, but maybe that was what you were going for.
Is that Reg from the “beach”? If so G’day.
“..the trees were always going to have individual ID numbers anyway.” says Arron Wood.
Don’tcha think perhaps that Arron is a tree? After all, his last name is WOOD! I think he’s a plant.
Do their vehicles have ID numbers? Park benches? Tiolets? manhole covers? Lamp posts? Streets? It is only logical to assign the ID numbers to an email which connects these things to the community.
Email sent back from a tree:
“Leaf me alone, will ya!”
Leaf me alone, wood ya, surely.
Why did these trees need ID numbers? The whole thing seems a little strange. With (it would appear) at least 1.5M trees in the area, are they really that special. I would understand if there was only a couple hundred trees. Do these people know that they can just plant new ones?
Jeff,
You don’t understand.
Trees need ID numbers because people need jobs.
It’s that simple.
I fear the next item in this agenda is establishing the legal right of trees to file suit.
If they made you into firewood, you’ld file soot, too.
Yes, and if a tree is annoyed by a Woodpecker, it should have the right to suet!
There’s a book about that: Do Trees Have Standing?
Some do, but only the ones that haven’t been cut down.
Another fine example of a government that is too big, with too much money, and too many employees with too little to do.
Try cutting the city’s budget by about 50% and you will not see more of this nonsense and I bet the service is much better, targeted at jobs for those need them, education, safety, and all the things that make a city a better place to live.
The problem is not climate change or drought. The problem is leftists socialism and its desire of control over everyone that brings big government and foolish, things as sending messages to trees while people are in need of help and relief from big government
This is the comment I left on JoNova. But I have to admit that the leftists in Melbourne are pikers compared with what some government employees are doing in the USA.