Your tax dollars at work…
Guest essay by Eric Worrall h/t JoNova – Did you know that you can email every single tree in the City of Melbourne, Australia – and they’ll write back?
According to Broadsheet Melbourne:
“Some said we were wasting money, but the trees were always going to have individual ID numbers anyway. So it was only logical we’d assign the ID numbers to an email which connects these trees to the community,” says Melbourne city councillor, Arron Wood.
So far the messages have ranged from piss takes to genuine expressions of devotion. So, if you’ve ever used a tree to prop yourself up with on a night out, the world’s most liveable city is now giving you the chance to apologise the morning after.
The trees apparently often tell sad stories if they are asked about their future – experts estimate that 30,000 trees in the Melbourne area will die in the next few decades due to old age, coupled with the effects of worsening droughts caused by climate change.
Critics of tree communication might suggest that the money spent helping the trees to answer their correspondence could be better spent on drought mitigation measures – more irrigation, maybe some silica pellets to help with soil moisture retention. But perhaps it does the trees good to talk through their problems.
As a former resident of Melbourne, there is more than one tree to which I probably owe an apology, thanks to the lamentable lack of after hours facilities in some parts of the city. But I don’t think I will ever get drunk enough to write an email to a tree.
(Anthony) See also:
Guardian Australia emailed a ginkgo maidenhair tree in Fitzroy Gardens, a park near Melbourne’s city centre, which responded: “Dear Oliver, Thank you for your lovely words. I am very well. Enjoy your day. Yours sincerely, Tree 1441724.”
A nearby ficus was also contacted for comment on the scheme but has yet to reply.
This government funded lunacy reminds me of the epic video showing crying and wailing over trees: