Guess essay by Eric Worrall
h/t Breitbart; Chinese scientists believe you are more likely to receive an accurate Covid-19 test result if they shove that fuzzy swab thing up your butt, rather than up your nose.
Beijing tests for COVID-19 using anal swabs, where virus may survive longer: experts
By Fan Anqi and Deng Xiaoci
Published: Jan 23, 2021 03:16 PMBeijing reported a 9-year-old boy tested positive for COVID-19 last week, and his school conducted a variety of tests including serum antibody tests, nasal, throat, and even anal swabs for all its staff and students, prompting many to wonder if anal swabs could be more accurate in detecting the virus than other measures.
Li Tongzeng, a deputy director in charge of infectious disease at Beijing You’an Hospital, said that studies have shown that the coronavirus survives longer in the anus or excrement than those taken from upper body tracts, and for some silent carriers the virus may be present in their throats for 3 to 5 days, allowing some tests to provide false negative results.
Taking an anal swab could increase accuracy in key groups, Li noted during an interview with the China Central Television. However, given that the method is not as convenient as throat swabs, it will only be applied to key groups at quarantine centers.
…
Read more: https://www.globaltimes.cn/page/202101/1213668.shtml
Effluent testing is regularly used in Australia to try to identify community transmission hotspots, so it seems plausible that the Chinese researchers are right about anal swabs being more likely to detect Covid-19 infection.
I guess the question is, how badly do you want to know whether you actually have Covid?
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Pete Buttigieg approved.
… and Biden will issue an Executive Order whereupon Xi Jinping will die laughing!
He’s already bought a nurse’s uniform and has volunteered to “man” the test centre.
Turn the other cheek.
Best make sure they do the nasal swab first.
I was just doing a variation of that come-back. Talk about stealing a guy’s best lines.
How do you tell the difference between a Nasal Swab and an Anal Swab?
The Taste
I’m sending my lawyers to meet your lawyers …
… I just blew my favorite calvados threw my nose onto my keyboard!
Watch the micro-aggression.
Reminds me of Billy Connelly and the ‘wire brush and dettol’ sketch
Dysgeusia and ansomia are among the most reliable CoViD tests, loss of sense of taste and smell. Most of US test with fine wine.
That gives Gwyneth Paltrow an idea for a new lip balm.
Not if you shower regularly and wear fresh underwear.
Perhaps a bowl swab would be a little less ……. confronting?
Just make sure you have plenty of beans and other gas-producing comestibles before you agree to this nonsense.
Was it Ben Franklin who said “F- – t proudly”?
The Babylon Bee was truly prescient with its recommendation of ass-masks a few days ago.
“Is this going to affect my social credit score?”
How does one pay-back borrowings?
Does raise a challenge for the ‘drive through’ testing locations….
Nurse Bendover will see you now.
Nah, you just need to do a moony as you drive through. One vehicle at a time for the sake of modesty.
It was never about the effectiveness of the test but rather about how much the economy could be damaged while the population was distracted by meaningless gestures. Taking one in the butt for the WHO makes one a full fledged, honorary, for life Compliancy Theorist.
I think they know where they can stick it.
How can they be sure that they are not getting a nasal swab from those with their head up their ars?
Any medical people here want to comment on using a test procedure for an intestinal virus in an attempt to measure a respiratory virus?
You mean like using natural variability to prove unnatural climate change that doesn’t exist?
It’s been known since the beginning that the virus is present in excrement.
It’s been shown since the beginning that excrement has been present in nearly everything connected with the virus, emanating from China.
WHO knew.
The virus locks on to the ACE (angiotensin converting enzyme) receptor on cells. The GI epithelium (cells that line the GI tract) have a lot of ACE receptors. So the virus is found in the GI tract. It is just that in the GI tract it really has little effect. But it makes a lot of virus that can be picked up in a PCR test.
You’re sh***in’ me.
Thank you for the cogent reply.
“It’s alimentary reasoning, my dear Watson.”
As was said in the schoolyards of America: “Quick – pull my finger!” [For those WUWT unfamiliar with the context, the child whose finger got pulled then broke wind from their anus. Come on man; don’t judge all Americans by those few.]
Or all Poms either. See Michael Caine in “Children of Men”.
Hopefully they swab the mouth before the other end
That has been the #1 choice for a response.
For some, it’s impossible to tell the difference. Take Griff, for example…
So, is that anal probe from Huawai or Biden?
An ancient method to force submission.
I can’t put my finger on it, but this disease is taking on so many side effects, symptoms and sequelae, combined with “novel” methods of detection and very unusual transmission properties, one has to wonder about its genesis. Add all of the above to its suspiciously ‘selective’ choice of victims and I’m starting to have some odd insights. I doubt I’m alone in that.
That sounds really interesting but the reality is that when you look at the actual mechanisms of the virus, it really isn’t that surprising. Or interesting.
What is really interesting is not the virus itself, which is relatively mundane. It is the response to this virus.
At the risk of appearing obtuse, could you clarify that? I think I understand, but I don’t like to assume.
I think he means the government responses.
Cheers … much appreciated. 🙂
With a new draconian enforced measure added on top of lockdowns, masks etc..
The prohibition of anal sex…. 🙂
Especially when it seems that lockdowns and masks have already backfired bigly in this case.. 🙂
damn could not resist it again
cheers
Then how is the pecking order of the elites going to be maintained?
Easy peasy…
As with and within the Merovingian clause.
Through the full 100 carat full bastardization…
Tough and painful, but still a valid pass… 🙂
For as long as the main rule not broken!
For as long as the bastards do not brake that rule… or even get tempted to brake it.
Else, still blood thicker than water… as always, regardless of all else there at whatever level!
🙂
With all smiles there, still that is not a joke in me book!
The strangest and weirdest dynasty of them all.
cheers
The PLANdemic, the PLAndemic. Dumb mass hysteria.
The conspiracy of ignorance MASQuerades as common sense. Masks are compliance.
Well, if the swab has the right shape and vibrates…
Why not?
🧨
That’s so French of them. If the sample is tested using a PCR test then it’s just as error prone as a nasal swab.
I had to have a “COVID-19” test just before the end of of 2020 because someone 6 floors above me in the building, for another employer, tested positive for SARS-COV-2. My test was negative of course, negative for “COVID-19” virus (The result said). Of course COVID-19 is the disease, which a PCR test does not test for. According to New South Wales Govn’t health guidelines in this SC@MDEMIC that is considered a “casual contact”. So, I had to find a testing clinic. I was turned away from one as they were not testing until 11th Jan 2021. I found a place, a drive-through, were the clinician shoved a swab up my nose which caused me to cough to which the clinician said “Don’t cough all over me!”. He was geared up with full PPE clothing, mask and gloves. Only 909 people have died in the whole of Australia through out this SC@MDEMIC and yet were have lockdown restrictions and the demand from state leaders for more testing.
SC@M!!!
You sure it’s not Greek of them?
Just as the virus and the disease are conflated in AIDS / HIV – directed by Fauci. Faux FauXi
I think the are after the big bang!
Thanks, that was way funnier than I imagined it was going to be. I can’t type for laughing.
Why are both of your hands on my shoulders? That is the swab, isn’t it?
It is very likely to be more reliable than nasal swabs since it’s less likely amplify a few viral fragments you breathed in into a positive test result, making you a covid “case”.
It sounds less disagreeable than having a 6″ stick inserted up my nose and scratching around in the back of the nasal cavity for the olifactory nerves linking to the brain.
The patient could even self administer the test in a cubicle for those who don’t want to cut the cheese.
Obviously this should only be done to consenting adults, not school children. Unless personally overseen by Uncle Joe.
If I have no symptoms, I don’t care enough to know to have this kind of invasive testing. I’m not going to be passing it to anyone, no pun intended.
Well, maybe a little.
OK dammit, pun intended!
Apparently Joe Biden can detect covid just by sniffing a patient’s hair but it only work with young girls.
I thought of this one-liner, and then I saw yours. Damn! And well done.
This technique has been used successfully in Marseilles and has been found to detect surges a few days before they show up via patients seeking care or test results.
You stools know before you do.
Forensic examination of sewage works : “no shit Sherlock” ?
It is haw phages were discovered.
I am fed up with this Covid problem now, it is just a pain in the butt….
Assuming this is true, it seems that simply taking a stool-sample into a sterile container, and swabbing that promptly would work just as well. It ain’t like this virus is super delicate or nothin’!
I haven’t got a stool …
would a chair or small table do instead ???
My doctor has had me perform fecal occult blood tests at home over the years as an option for colon cancer screening. I know this test is to detect blood in the sample; not viral load. But it seems to me this simple collection process could be adapted, if necessary, for CV-19 testing.
Absolutely, if they can find virus in raw bulk sewage (as is claimed), surely they can find the same in a single, otherwise unadulterated sample from one person who has the virus.
You know where to stick it.
Chinese med-tech:
“OK, bend over so we can test you”
Patient:
“You can stick that where the sun don’t shine”
Med-tech:
“I will”
This procedure was developed using advanced Alien Technology.