Environmentalist marries Gaia in E-ceremony

From the Huffington Post, a tale of bliss. WUWT Readers may remember Mr. Bloom from a  previous story where he did something outlandish, but it appears he was simply protecting his future bride. There’s no mention at HuffPo if Earth was a willing partner or if it was a shotgun wedding. There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. It is assumed the groom will honeymoon with Gaia in one of the polar cities he proposes where we can all escape the “global warming heat wave” at the lower latitudes. Congratulations to the happy couple.  – Anthony

“Man marries Earth in Rare Ceremony”

Danny Bloom in an undated photo, before he married Earth

On December 4, 2010, [Danny Bloom] married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!

The festive ceremony was an internet-e­nabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which the groom, 61, married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!

The festive ceremony was an internet-e­nabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which Bloom, a Boston native, recited previously keyed-in vows declaring that he would “love and cherish his beloved, Earth, — 4,000,000,­010 years old but still beautiful and comely in her white aura of cloud cover — for the rest of his life or ”until death do him part.”

Earth, for her part, said:

“We’re soulmates now. We always were, but now it’s on paper. I’ve married the man I created! I’ve married the world I love.”

Bloom asked that instead of gifts, guests and other interested parties donate funds to global warming awareness campaigns in their respective countries.”

After the wedding was over, symbolized by a long green fern wrapped around his balding head, Bloom kissed his bride one more time, saying to everyone within earshot:

“Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!”

Earth, as beautiful as ever, added:

“He always says things like that! For my part, today marks the beginning of a new conciousness [sic] among humans, and if our little private ceremony has been able to help raise awareness about the problems of global warming and climate change, then I am one happy planet!”

Wedding Vows:

Do you, Danny Bloom, take the Earth to be your cosmicly wedded wife? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect her, whether in good times or during human-caused global warming times of adversity, and to seek with her a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)

And do you Earth, take this eccentric blooming idiot, to be your cosmicly-wedded husband? (“I do”).

Do you promise to love, cherish and protect him, whether
in good fortune or in adversity, and like he said above, that stuff above global warming and climate change, and to seek with him a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)

I now pronounce you two lovebirds humankind and Earth. You may kiss the bride. You may embrace your husband.

(They do)

h/t to Tom Nelson and Tom Pipes Up (again)

157 thoughts on “Environmentalist marries Gaia in E-ceremony

  1. Sounds to me like Earth would be very angry at his remarks: Fly me to the Moon. To Jupiter and Mars!!! What’s the matter, buddy, why so anxious to leave your new bride?

    NOT an auspicious beginning to the relationship…

  2. No madder than religious folk marrying their diety, I suppose, but to me it seems he must be a genuine 24-carat card-carrying looney.

  3. Nothing they do to grab press surprises me, anymore.
    Don’t ask, Don’t tell has not filtered down to the “rub and stick their private parts into any available orifice” crowd.
    [d]

  4. “Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!”

    You’d think he’d wait until after the reception to start in on other planets.

  5. Hmmm…

    Maybe this is his version of Earth Girls are Easy, buthe he had to settle for just…errr….Earth.

  6. Where was the honeymoon? Will they consummate the marriage?

    It’s too bad he didn’t fall in love with one of Earth’s sister planets. We could’ve shipped him off on a one-way trip.

  7. I want some of what he was taking in the 60s (and is yet to come down from). Then I might be inclined to find this event beautiful. Right now I’m just thinking this guy’s a twat.

  8. Have you ever seen the really bad, but funny, movie Mom and Dad Save the Universe? It starts off by saying there was a planet of idiots and it wasn’t referring to earth. However, I’m convinced more and more that that movie could very well apply to earth.

  9. “There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. It is assumed the groom will honeymoon with Gaia in one of the polar cities. . .”
    (Remembers scene from A Christmas Story where the kid stuck his tongue ona flagpole)

  10. “Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!”

    Just got married and he is already looking to someone else!

  11. ‘Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!’. Cheating on her already. Hope she got a prenup.

    I wish the happy couple every, err…

  12. “There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. ”

    But I bet Big Oil gets accused of adultery.

  13. Neo says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Thus beggars the question … what will he be doing on his wedding night ?

    I expect he’ll be sowing seed on Gaia’s stony ground.

  14. Hey Danny: yo wife so big, she got her own gravitational field. And a moon.

    REPLY: Best joke evah on WUWT! – Anthony

  15. Hmm ……. She didn’t say “with all my worldly goods I thee endow” did she??? That’s an awful lot of assets for him!

  16. Danny Bloom is going to new meaning to the phrase “pound sand”! Ouch!

    And, David, UK – did you not mean “twit”?

  17. This just in…

    He now wants a divorce as the Earth has been distant and cold, not as warm as it was when he married it in the summer.

  18. Looks like this guy.

    “Civilization is in big trouble.” Because we read stuff on screens now instead of paper.

  19. David, UK says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:59 pm
    Hey Danny: yo wife so big, she got her own gravitational field. And a moon.

    REPLY: Best joke evah on WUWT! – Anthony
    ——
    I’d like to second that!!

  20. DBD says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    rufkm??!!

    Apparently not!

    But, why not just offer heartfelt congratulations rather than making fun of the man. He seems like a decent chap.

    Besides we all knew that sooner or later one of these greenies was really going to ah “make love to the earth” — so it should be no surprise.

  21. This is the tipping point! The fat lady has sung. When the fruit cakes take over the movement, the normals head for the exits. Don’t let the doors hit you on the way out! lol.

    The hard work of removing the political works of AGW and flushing out the evil doers begins.

  22. What a laugh! Let the chap be alone with his new wife for a while.
    There are plenty of others who would rather rape the planet Earth.

  23. I suppose it’s bad form to make fun of the mentally deranged, but this guy is an idiot’s idiot. As is whoever wrote up and published the story.

  24. On December 4, 2010, [Danny Bloom] married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!

    At the reception he was heard to state, “I did not have sex with that woman.”

  25. I happily second Ern Matthews. If this is not made-up, and it’s showing up on the Puffington Host, it pretty much amounts to a confession that AGW is now regarded as a joke even by people who very recently demanded it be taken seriously. The least we can do is extend our best wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Bloom for finally bringing it out in the open.

  26. “You can change the minds of men by argument or debate, but you cannot change their hearts by the same means”
    David Gemmell, circa 1999. Remain, for ever, in peace.
    Happiness to you, Mr Bloom and your new bride.
    Guess that you and I will just have to disagree about which is the mind and which is the heart,
    The rest we probably agree about. T’is sad that we view the world so differently, when we’re so alike!

  27. Wow I needed that laugh, everyone!
    My sides are a bit sore.
    I want to say 3rd on Dave UK’s quip.
    I had to clean my monitor.
    [d]

  28. “But I bet Big Oil gets accused of adultery.”
    __
    Yes, son of mulder is on to something here, I think. Danny will now attempt to lock his bride in a chastity belt so no one else can share in her resources. On the other hand, we now have an estate to sue for all damages caused by earthquakes, volcanos, and other natural disasters.

  29. Is this real? All I can find on the Huffington Post regarding this is in the comment section for the story on the guy marrying his dog.

    If real, I have to say the headline is the part that actually makes me shake my head. I mean, a guy marrying a planet is just a little weirder than some of the other stuff you hear about (such as marrying his dog), but:

    “Man marries Earth in Rare Ceremony”

    Really? It’s a “rare” ceremony? Who would have thought?

  30. ROFLM-u-no-watt-O!!!

    Well, we’ve been saying environmentalism & AGW support is a religion, here’s yet more proof, in addition to the Cancun prayers to primitive goddesses.

    I’d like to know just how the Earth said “I do.” Sounds to me like a shotgun wedding with the Earth mute when it was her turn to reply!

    as to:

    CRS, Dr.P.H. says:
    December 4, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    David, UK says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:59 pm
    Hey Danny: yo wife so big, she got her own gravitational field. And a moon.

    REPLY: Best joke evah on WUWT! – Anthony
    ——
    I’d like to second that!!

    Third from me. That’s a doozy David, thanks for the laugh!

  31. Wouldn’t it be [trimmed] if he [trimmed] in an earthquake, volcano or some other natural disaster?

    [Not appropriate “wishes” under any circumstances. Robt]

  32. -“There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated.”

    will he now go on to soil my earth ? eeeeeeew…

  33. Danny Bloom is one of the handful of commentators who have been banned. In his case it was some time last December, after he kept posting about filing lawsuits against WUWT [IIRC – or maybe against someone else].

    I recall his picture being posted here, and yep, it’s the same Danny Bloom, publicity hound. I’ll see if I can find it.

  34. Layne Blanchard says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    So, uh, he married his mother?

    I guess that makes him a…

  35. Michael Jankowski says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Where was the honeymoon? Did they consummate the marriage?

    He tried, but the Earth didn’t move. So naturally he considered wooing her with gifts – but what do you get the girl who’s got everything?

  36. This is the Danny Bloom lawsuit article [I had mis-remembered the details]:

    http://wattsupwiththat.com/2008/11/22/litigious-lunacy

    Here’s a Reuters article on Danny:

    http://blogs.reuters.com/environment/2008/11/28/sue-world-leaders-1-billion-for-global-warming

    And if their kid-gloves treatment of Bloom doesn’t discredit SourceWatch, nothing will:

    http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Danny_Bloom

    Ah, here he is, beret and all. This pic was originally posted on 12/16/2009, in this thread:

    Danny is happy. He just got more free publicity. And the wonderful comments here have been so entertaining that I bear him no grudge.☺

  37. This could be seen as smart move, given no prenup he could walk away with half her assets…. Now he just needs to find a good lawyer..

  38. David, UK says:
    December 4, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Hey Danny: yo wife so big, she got her own gravitational field. And a moon.

    REPLY: Best joke evah on WUWT! – Anthony
    Agreed.
    The late Rodney Dangerfield comes to mind…

  39. And Earth went merrily spinning on her way, laughing at the hubris of man. For although Danny Bloom had an auspicious surname and was standing upon her breast during the ceremony, Earth was mute and did not participate. She watched instead as Mr. Bloom proceeded to fool himself, and giggled at his presumption.

    Meanwhile, Earth herself remained unbound, free to go unhindered by Mr. Bloom’s poppy field delusions. In reality, all along she worshiped the Sun from a distance, evermore in orbit around his splendor, captured within the spell of his bright charisma and gravity, and obeying his every command. Yet far enough removed that she remained free to sow her wild oats to her hearts content so long as she continually basked in the approbation of the Sun.

    So scintillated by the constant tickle of his magnetic touch was she, that she was unable to keep her gaze upon him steady, and instead was left always slightly off balance, showing him yet a different face every moment, trying on her different clothes over the ages, now green and blue, now brown or white, and every combination in between… and so she continued her eternal dance around the Sun, forever bound to him alone within this great universe.

  40. Best wishes to Mr. Bloom and his wife Gaia. It sounds like a match made in heaven for erectile dysfunction to get hitched to climate disruption.

  41. I want the World’s press and TV News crews to turn up outside my house next Wednesday when I am going to marry that gorgeous lamp-post which has been teasing me these many years with her impudent gleam!

  42. re post by Stephen Brown says: December 4, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    I want the World’s press and TV News crews to turn up outside my house next Wednesday when I am going to marry that gorgeous lamp-post which has been teasing me these many years with her impudent gleam!

    Just set it up with a webcam and internet connection, using some willing clergyman over skype or something, hold the ‘wedding’ on a slow news day, maybe a Saturday – and give the press enough advanced warning – be sure to tell them that you were inspired to come out of the closet by seeing Mr. Bloom get hitched to Gaia…. and I’m sure you’ll get some good press!!! {VBG}

  43. Oh thankyou David UK, still wiping tears.

    After 3 attempts to deliver the punch line to my kid, finally handed over the laptop and said “here you read it instead”

    My ribs are so sore from laughing

  44. Oedipus the environmentalist Bloom;
    Too much ganja inhaled was his doom.
    His mother Gaia he deemed to espouse;
    A breath of hot air his dower.

  45. It doesn’t surprise me that one of these nitwits has chosen to spend the rest of his life sleeping with dirt rather than a woman.

  46. I loved all the jokes above and attempts at humor, including the ones that
    worked well! Good stuff all around. But as Anthony knows, I am serious. Check back with me in 500 years. Polar Cities will be real then. Not now, of course! (as for my new wife, she’s fine, thanks!)

  47. Baa Humbug says:
    December 4, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    Nobody wants to marry her evil twin sister, Venus?
    ————————————————————

    Rumor has it that Al Gore is available.

  48. Danny H. Bloom: glad to see you can appreciate humor at your expense!

    We are serious as well.

    In 500 years, tropical cities “will be real” as well and I predict you will find many more people living in them than in “Polar Cities.” I, however, do not suppose I have any special insight into the future. Anything is possible. It’s just that catastrophic global warming seems very unlikely to me, given what we now know.

    As for your wife being fine, that goes without saying.

  49. Danny H. Bloom says:
    December 4, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    OMG! To be honest I thought it was a rare case of a Gaia worshipper with a sense of humour!

    DaveE.

  50. theduke says:
    December 4, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    Rumor has it that Al Gore is available.

    Now theres a man who could quite possibly have his own gravitational field.

  51. theduke says:
    December 4, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    It doesn’t surprise me that one of these nitwits has chosen to spend the rest of his life sleeping with dirt rather than a woman.

    Have you seen some of their unwashed women? I fail to see much difference.

    I’ve been to Nimbin* man :)

    *Nimbin, an enclave of 1960’s hippies, now a small touristic curio.

  52. Danny H. Bloom says on December 4, 2010 at 6:54 pm

    I loved all the jokes above and attempts at humor, including the ones that
    worked well! Good stuff all around. But as Anthony knows, I am serious. Check back with me in 500 years. Polar Cities will be real then. Not now, of course! (as for my new wife, she’s fine, thanks!)

    The Antarctic will not be habitable in 500 years. Anyone who thinks so is pretty stupid. (If by polar cities you meant in the Arctic circle, then there are already such cities.)

    In addition, the contention that the earth is female is sexist. At best it is neuter.

  53. David A. Evans says:
    December 4, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    Damn. Why did I answer that Danny H. Bloom post? It’s obviously a spoof post.

    DaveE.

  54. BAA HUMBUG, I thought Venus was Hansens bride to be that is his love, listening to him go on how Earth was going to end up like Venus.

  55. Traditionally, when men married Gaia, they were imolated alive in wicker men or drowned in bogs. I take it the groom in this case is a liberal.

  56. sHx says:
    December 4, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    This doesn’t count as marriage! Gaia is male! She is a he!

    Man plants his seeds in her, she bears the fruits of his labour.
    That makes her a she.

  57. So if Big Al marries Venus, would they become binary planets?

    I suppose that Pluto might be glad he’s not a planet anymore.

    sHx,
    if she is a he, are you suggesting that the moon is a……
    That’s just naughty!

  58. Did the lovely bride have a choice? Or was it an arranged marriage.

    But from the looks of him I hope she had a choice….to say no,

    Chris

  59. The only audience the flamers have left are those at the bottom of the evolutionary chain…and they’re hanging on to them for dear life.

  60. Whilst the humour is flowing, I didn’t realise Al Gores name was a carefully selected acronym.

    Global Organisation for Reduction in Emissions.

  61. LOLOLOL and woe and curses to the buzzkills.
    This is to good to pass up.
    I really think Gaia is going to cheat with Sol.
    Apollo has more to offer than any mortal d0vchbag .
    (and yes I know I replaced the ou with a 0v)
    [d]

  62. Baa Humbug says:
    December 4, 2010 at 11:04 pm

    Man plants his seeds in her, she bears the fruits of his labour.
    That makes her a she.

    Oh, yeah! Well, that’s not what Venus told me.

  63. Rational Debate says:
    December 4, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    And Earth went merrily spinning on her way, laughing at the hubris of man. For although Danny Bloom had an auspicious surname and was standing upon her breast during the ceremony, Earth was mute and did not participate. She watched instead as Mr. Bloom proceeded to fool himself, and giggled at his presumption.

    Meanwhile, Earth herself remained unbound, free to go unhindered by Mr. Bloom’s poppy field delusions. In reality, all along she worshiped the Sun from a distance, evermore in orbit around his splendor, captured within the spell of his bright charisma and gravity, and obeying his every command. Yet far enough removed that she remained free to sow her wild oats to her hearts content so long as she continually basked in the approbation of the Sun.

    So scintillated by the constant tickle of his magnetic touch was she, that she was unable to keep her gaze upon him steady, and instead was left always slightly off balance, showing him yet a different face every moment, trying on her different clothes over the ages, now green and blue, now brown or white, and every combination in between… and so she continued her eternal dance around the Sun, forever bound to him alone within this great universe.

    By Rajendra Pachauri

    Hey Bloom, Gaia maybe your wife but she’s still my BITCH.

  64. Mango:
    The Good Book tells us to be faithful to the Woman that we marry.
    How is that possible when the man can’t perform in bed?
    Gaia is a harsh Mistress when she gets stood up at the Altar.
    ;)
    [d]

  65. Who was the best man? Professor Kevin ‘gravity-will-remain-roughly-the-same’ Anderson. Or maybe Doctor David ‘children will grow up not knowing what snow is’ Viner.

  66. jeez-
    Thats why we’re making fun and teasing this guy.
    That’s what we do with madmen.
    Crack a joke, it feels good.
    [d]

  67. Rational Debate says:
    December 4, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    And Earth went merrily spinning on her way, laughing at the hubris of man. For although Danny Bloom had an auspicious surname and was standing upon her breast during the ceremony, Earth was mute and did not participate. She watched instead as Mr. Bloom proceeded to fool himself, and giggled at his presumption.

    Meanwhile, Earth herself remained unbound, free to go unhindered by Mr. Bloom’s poppy field delusions. In reality, all along she worshiped the Sun from a distance, evermore in orbit around his splendor, captured within the spell of his bright charisma and gravity, and obeying his every command. Yet far enough removed that she remained free to sow her wild oats to her hearts content so long as she continually basked in the approbation of the Sun.

    So scintillated by the constant tickle of his magnetic touch was she, that she was unable to keep her gaze upon him steady, and instead was left always slightly off balance, showing him yet a different face every moment, trying on her different clothes over the ages, now green and blue, now brown or white, and every combination in between… and so she continued her eternal dance around the Sun, forever bound to him alone within this great universe.

    By Rajendra Pachauri

    Hey Bloom, Gaia may be your wife but she’s still my behatch!

  68. Adam Gallon says:
    December 5, 2010 at 12:35 am
    I think that Earth should file for divorce, non-consumation of marriage?

    Proof of consummation will be all the little “Blooms” come spring-time

  69. Baa Humbug says:
    December 4, 2010 at 11:40 pm
    Whilst the humour is flowing, I didn’t realise Al Gores name was a carefully selected acronym.

    Global Organisation for Reduction in Emissions.

    You missed the AL.

    A Lying Global Organisation for Reduction in Emissions, surely?

  70. Ever more a religion. Aren’t nuns the brides of Jesus or something? Just another one to be added to the growing list on top of papal indulgences and original sin.

  71. Sadly, after enjoying all the humorous comments, I have to conclude the Mr |Bloom is nothing more than an extreme example of publicity-seeking enviro-mentalist. And perhaps, as the old musical theatre song says, “Gaia than Springtime”.

  72. Congrats on the nuptials Danny and of course you and your Gaia’s future together. But be forewarned, she loves her mother who has a major influence in her life. Mamasun is getting a bit aged and menopausal as of late and is prone to mood swings and hot and cold spells. She means nothing the best for her kids and Gaia but it’s very hard to just let go of a child though she knows they’ve been drifting apart for years.
    Of course Danny, these are things you can not correct and they have been in the making for years.
    Mamasun has lost control of older siblings in the past and they eventually found their own way but still hold onto her influences. And so will you and Gaia to find your own way in life “‘and to death do you part”.

  73. Dear Moderator,

    Did my post of about 1.5 ago get assigned to the nether regions at WUWT?

    John

    REPLY: recovered above – A

  74. Just letting him know that his wife a whore. She’s been sleeping with everybody, even animals.

  75. You have to admire the thought and effort Danny has put into his ideas. If only he was headed in the right direction. I am troubled by how negatively these people view the future (specifically humanity’s). It must be very difficult to get out of bed in the morning. If only there was a cure for proctocraniosis. Perhaps a telethon? Does anyone have Jerry Lewis’s number?

  76. DirkH says:
    December 4, 2010 at 1:33 pm
    Looks like this guy.

    “Civilization is in big trouble.” Because we read stuff on screens now instead of paper.

    have a look at the link.

    Surely this guy is just taking the piss.
    It is just a joke.
    He is sitting back with his mates drinking beers and rolling around with laughter at the stir he has created…..

    I hope.

  77. Just remembered something: in the Corn King ritual worship of Earth, the corn king – Bloom – would be sacrificed on the seventh year of his reign, so perhaps he isn’t a liberal Gaian, he might -be- a traditionalist. I wonder if his rite goes with the wicker man (think Burning Man festival), or drowning in a peat bog like they did before the coming of the Aesir-worshippers.

  78. re post by: Will says: December 5, 2010 at 2:25 am

    Rational Debate says:
    December 4, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    And Earth went merrily spinning on her way, laughing at the hubris of man…..

    By Rajendra Pachauri ….

    hum…. so, Will, are ya saying I have a future in Romance Novels? I’ll have to make it “legends of climate change” or something.

    As to any comparison with Pachauri – ewe, now I feel like I need a shower. Ick.

  79. Steve Schaper says:
    December 5, 2010 at 9:03 am (Edit)

    Just remembered something: in the Corn King ritual worship of Earth, the corn king – Bloom – would be sacrificed on the seventh year of his reign, so perhaps he isn’t a liberal Gaian, he might -be- a traditionalist. I wonder if his rite goes with the wicker man (think Burning Man festival), or drowning in a peat bog like they did before the coming of the Aesir-worshippers.

    —…—…

    Neither choice is eco-friendly actually.

    If you burn your remains, there is nothing effectively left to rot out and form fertilizer. If you drown in a peat bog, you’ve (potentially) preserved your remains, but the “pickled flesh” that is left in the bog isn’t fertilizer either.

    Since leaving one’s body to rot “on the shelf” in the air generates nothing but odors, CO2, insect and bacteria and worm bait – but is admittedly all the more “natural” for all of its smells, waste, disease, and putrification for others to “enjoy” for weeks – you would think he would request he be wrapped in his death clothes (only natural cotton or linen most assuredly!) and buried underground.

    Or recycled into soylent green. 8<)

  80. Well I don’t want anyone thinking I could be messing around with another man’s wife!

    From now on, I’m doing no more favors for Gaia than I would for any planet!

  81. In theory the honeymoon would involve the Mariana Trench. I hope he knows about the size of that thing. Yowza..

    One question.. are we hyphenated now? I generally try to avoid the hyphenated.

  82. In the words of Bugs Bunny, whose wisdom will be remembered long after Mr. Bloom is gone and forgotten, “What a maroon!”

  83. Heh
    The beer hit the monitor a couple more times.
    Dan Gaia-Bloom is born.
    Her name comes first in the last name cause She’s In Charge.
    Funny how it sounds like Dan Gaybloom in my English.
    [d]

  84. Well I guess since dear old Danny won’t be having any sex with his new wife he can just go f*** himself. The rest of the AGW wackos are invited to do the same.

  85. I imagine he promised her the moon.

    It’s not that often a man is GRAVITATIONALLY attracted to his bride.

  86. News Release: “Gophers and other burrowing animals have been put on alert by PETA today. Spokesperson Anita Mann said that: “Our earth tunneling friends need to be careful exiting their burrows in future due to possible ‘penetrative activities’ on the part of Mr. Bloom”.

    Mr. Bloom was not available for comment. He was later seen in his backyard embracing his new bride and ‘twitching and moaning’.

  87. He has found the ultimate sugar momma, she will provide him with anything and everything he needs and wants, even the air he breathes.

  88. This is so gay the ceremony must have taken place in Massachusetts.

    But isn’t it illegal to marry your mother even there too?

    But seriously, this guy David Bloom appears to be a classic example of Oedipus complex.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_complex#Little_Hans:_a_case_study_by_Freud

    Little Hans: a case study by Freud

    “Little Hans” was a young boy who was the subject of an early but extensive study of castrative anxiety and the Oedipus complex by Freud. Hans’ neurosis took the shape of a fear of horses (Equinophobia). Freud wrote a summary of his treatment of Little Hans, in 1909, in a paper entitled “Analysis of a Phobia in a Five-year-old Boy.”

    Substitute fear of horses with fear of climate change and I think we have an explanation for most of the climate alarmists who aren’t in it for the money.

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