From the Huffington Post, a tale of bliss. WUWT Readers may remember Mr. Bloom from a previous story where he did something outlandish, but it appears he was simply protecting his future bride. There’s no mention at HuffPo if Earth was a willing partner or if it was a shotgun wedding. There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. It is assumed the groom will honeymoon with Gaia in one of the polar cities he proposes where we can all escape the “global warming heat wave” at the lower latitudes. Congratulations to the happy couple. – Anthony
“Man marries Earth in Rare Ceremony”
On December 4, 2010, [Danny Bloom] married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!
The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which the groom, 61, married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!
The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which Bloom, a Boston native, recited previously keyed-in vows declaring that he would “love and cherish his beloved, Earth, — 4,000,000,010 years old but still beautiful and comely in her white aura of cloud cover — for the rest of his life or ”until death do him part.”
Earth, for her part, said:
“We’re soulmates now. We always were, but now it’s on paper. I’ve married the man I created! I’ve married the world I love.”
Bloom asked that instead of gifts, guests and other interested parties donate funds to global warming awareness campaigns in their respective countries.”
After the wedding was over, symbolized by a long green fern wrapped around his balding head, Bloom kissed his bride one more time, saying to everyone within earshot:
“Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!”
Earth, as beautiful as ever, added:
“He always says things like that! For my part, today marks the beginning of a new conciousness [sic] among humans, and if our little private ceremony has been able to help raise awareness about the problems of global warming and climate change, then I am one happy planet!”
Do you, Danny Bloom, take the Earth to be your cosmicly wedded wife? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect her, whether in good times or during human-caused global warming times of adversity, and to seek with her a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)
And do you Earth, take this eccentric blooming idiot, to be your cosmicly-wedded husband? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect him, whether
in good fortune or in adversity, and like he said above, that stuff above global warming and climate change, and to seek with him a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)
I now pronounce you two lovebirds humankind and Earth. You may kiss the bride. You may embrace your husband.