People send me stuff.
Here at WUWT, we all tend to laugh at Dr. Joshua Halpern who fancies himself as a rabbit and writes in tongues third person as ‘Eli Rabett‘ about the evils of global warming to show everyone how smart he is, while twitching his nose at everyone else. He’s one of the more colorful characters of the warmist side of the debate who pretty much personifies that clique, though has strong competition from SUNY’s Scott “super” Mandia when it comes to being the most ridiculous of college scientists. Seeing how these folks tend to self-parody, I see that as license to poke a little fun at them. After all, he endorses this as a valid tactic with the “Eli Rabett approach on climate communication with deniers,”.
This episode of government stupidity about needing a rabbit license for a magic show, followed by a “disaster plan” for severe weather that may harm the rabbit, made me think of him, because what else could pop into your mind when you think of such things? Now with extreme weather aka #poisonedweather™ making bigger weather disasters every minute, we all need a disaster plan for props pets. Right?
I’m going to get right to work on one for the most prestigious member of the Union of Concerned Scientists.
I get word that David Burge (Iowahawk) writes on Facebook about a magician that is required to have a “disaster plan” for his rabbit, no this isn’t a joke.
I swear I am not making this up. In the annals of government stupidity, this story may very well be the Mount Everest. Bob McCarty Writes:
My USDA rabbit license requirement has taken another ridiculous twist. I just received an 8 page letter from the USDA, telling me that by July 29 I need to have in place a written disaster plan, detailing all the steps I would take to help get my rabbit through a disaster, such as a tornado, fire, flood, etc. They not only want to know how I will protect my rabbit during a disaster, but also what I will do after the disaster, to make sure my rabbit gets cared for properly. I am not kidding–before the end of July I need to have this written rabbit disaster plan in place, or I am breaking the law.
Source: http://bobmccarty.com/2013/06/28/usda-tells-magician-to-write-disaster-plan-for-his-rabbit/
It gets even weirder, from the start of the episode with the USDA:
Finally, it was time for the inspection at the Hahne’s home. Marty decided to ask some questions.
“My friend has a snake,” he said. The inspector quickly told him they don’t regulate snakes.
“No,” Marty said, “I mean he feeds his snake rabbits. He breaks their necks and drops them in the cage for the snake’s food. Does he have to have a permit for that?” Again, she told him there’s no regulation for that.
“So I could break my rabbit’s neck and feed him to my friend’s snake and I wouldn’t need a license?” Marty asked.
“Correct,” she said, “But you need a license to use him in your magic show.”
The obvious question (besides the snake food licensing one) is: does Howard University need a license to keep ‘Eli Rabett’ around for entertainment purposes and does Howard University have a disaster plan to keep Eli Rabett safe in case the university is flooded by accelerating sea level rise or flattened by an errant derecho? Inquiring minds want to know.
Discover more from Watts Up With That?
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Eli IS the disaster -by the look of his face, evidence for phrenology
What with Independence Day coming up, my disaster plan for my rabbit is to let Nature and Nature’s God take care of him.
I did have a rabbit for a pet as a child, named Usagi-san. Long ago.
I’ve seen that picture of Eli Rabett before but I just can’t seem to place it …….. thinking …… OH YEAH!! He’s the cover boy for Mad Magazine!
Jerry Pournelle has often written about bunny inspectors.
Example: “Never fear, the bunny inspectors are safe. You, however, are not as the Internet Sales Tax Bill careens ahead.”
http://www.jerrypournelle.com/chaosmanor/?p=13519
Time for some Darwinian Awards! First one goes to USDA. Maybe the magician can shrink the big government- or make it disappear! The other part of the story illustrates the state of America’s universities. Unbelievable.
Crazy. Aaand the government should run the healthcare industry. Right.
(assuming the magician doesn’t want to just break his rabbit’s neck and spare the rabbit that way)
Write this on a sheet of paper:
Disaster Plan for My Rabbit
A. Place rabbit in a small dog carrier.
B. Place container in back of pick-up truck along with 3 bags of rabbit food and 5 gallons of water.
C. Get into truck.
D. Start truck engine.
E. Put truck into gear, step on gas, drive away from the disaster.
The End.
“He’s the cover boy for Mad Magazine!” [Dave]
LOL.
“Maybe the magician can shrink the big government- or make it disappear! ” [R2Dtoo]
LOL — I wish.
Marty, I’m a problem-solver. On July 28th, turn your rabbit loose (or feed it to your friend’s snake) and switch over to a Gerbil. This should buy you several more months. Then, switch back to a rabbit, a different rabbit. Etc. I think this would be a gas for your audiences and even build up your business. Alternatively, you could write in your rabbit disaster plan that upon the arrival of a disaster, you would feed the rabbit to your friend’s snake. I prefer this solution since you may never have a disaster (low probability) to deal with and could keep your rabbit. A subsidiary solution would be to get a list of all pet owners in America that don’t have snakes and report them to the USDA for processing.
Gary Pearse says:
June 29, 2013 at 1:36 pm
” A subsidiary solution would be to get a list of all pet owners in America that don’t have snakes and report them to the USDA for processing.”
Well I went to http://www.nsa.gov and entered “rabbit owners” in their search box.
I think I have tripped them up. That’s the slowest search engine I’ve ever seen. Maybe Deep Thought now ponders what business this non-American has searching for rabbit owners in the NSA’s database.
Disaster Recovery Plan. Make sure rabbit is in good shape. He may be needed for rabbit pie.
I have been called a paranoid conspiricist for suggesting that the ultimate goal of our New Overlords is to control every possible aspect of our lives. This rabbit license-disaster plan story may not constitute final total smoking gun proof of my assertion, but you must admit it is getting dangerously close. It also suggests that those who claim that I’m the paranoid may have finally formed a group that truly merits the D-word appellation.
From Mike McMillan on June 29, 2013 at 1:11 pm:
You had a rabbit named Rabbit?
Surely, the magician in times of crisis, would just make the rabbit “disappear”?
Sure, KD, makes it easier to distinguish various animals. Btw, the rabbit in Winnie the Pooh is named Rabbit.
I would actually submit a recipe for hassenfeffer (sic?) as my plan.
Oh, and wow, Eli must be in his late 40s or early 50s and he acts as childishly as he does?
Mark
kadaka (KD Knoebel) says: June 29, 2013 at 2:02 pm
From Mike McMillan on June 29, 2013 at 1:11 pm:
I did have a rabbit for a pet as a child, named Usagi-san.
You had a rabbit named Rabbit?
Hai. Mr Rabbit, more precisely.
I didn’t speak any English when I came to America.
Well, I knew what “No” meant.
Interesting discussion of this subject from 2005 at:
http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?topic=124721&forum=13
It is my sad, sad duty to inform America that I now know why your founding fathers insisted upon a right to bear arms. It is so you can all blow your poor freaking brains out when this all just gets too much! This sort of madness in the land of the free! You poor, poor pack of sad bastards. Talk about democracy gone mad. Actually it would be the Democrats gone mad … but that would be tautology, methinks.
I quite like Eli. He is pretty smart for a rabbit
Tonyb
Ursus Augustus says:
June 29, 2013 at 2:30 pm
“…This sort of madness in the land of the free!…”
And you are from the EUSSR I presume, from which, evidently, all economists have either fled or are in hiding.
Eli, along with the stoat and the rat sometimes drops by WUWT. Usually to defend Mickey Mann.
Henry wonders if MM will return the condiment?
For a smart guy, he sure does teach in a woefully undistinguished chemistry department.
Rabbits eh … very successful species. I don’t think the USDA really needs to worry about them.
UK, Australia tried to wipe them out with Myxomatosis. UK summer hillsides white like frost with rabbit bones. Disused gas works in Oxford UK comprehensively gassed 1970+. Two days later on the same site ? hophophop … In the 1990s at least, at JCU (of Bob Carter “fame”) it was difficult driving round the campus at night there were so many of them. Some staff reckoned they were bandicoots, but I know a rabbit when I see one. The local dingoes made no difference, seemed their favourite feeding place was the bins behind the student canteen. The only dog I have seen run one down in the open was a lurcher.
Not sure if it is still the case, but at one time in Queensland it was unlawful to buy a rabbit – but not unlawful to sell one.
I just looked up some recipes for hasenpfeffer . I couldn’t help myself .