Back in January 2007, we were admonished:
“…you should remember this moment when you learned about this feedback loop-it is an existencial turning point in your life. “
Yes, I remember, only too well. In fact, here’s a reminder:
click image for original story
Get your life in order people. The big planet killing fart is coming, sometime in the next 52 days. I’ve sent an email to the editor using the contact page for this newspaper, asking if they’ll have live coverage.
h/t to The Daily Bayonet
Meanwhile, cooler heads are asking about whether climate change is dangerous at all.
Will I be ok hiding under the bed?
I don’t know. One time my dog let one loose and I felt like I would die. Is that what he meant?
What is a “resrarch” ??
I loose what seem to be planet killing farts all the time. It’s amazing how resilient the atmosphere is when I roll down the car windows, though.
Never under estimate the damage potential of a planetary fart. Plus he has one more year. And he ties in nicely with the Mayan calender.
“we will be helpless to stop the runaway Global Warming”. See you at the cliff John Stokes…
Hilarious! Pathetic! Irresponsible!
Did you read the rest of the posts from that day you linked to? That website/newspaper has some pretty whacko stories:
http://www.thepolitic.com/archives/2007/01/09/global-warming-doomsday-45-billion-dead-by-2012/
8 Responses to “Global Warming Doomsday – 4.5 Billion Dead by 2012”
Jaunque on January 9th, 2007 4:21 pm [#]
This from the same website that gives us:
“Scientists find Extraterrestrial genes in Human DNA”
“United Airlines employees witness Alien Spacecraft in Chicago”
“Conservative Party linked to pro-U.S. annexation cabal”
“Enigmas beg question of Extraterrestrial interventions on Human Society”
“Saddam Hussein’s execution lets Masterminds of Crimes against Humanity go free”
“The Bush Administration covers-up the “North American Union” plot against Canada”
“Doctor alleges plans underway to “Microchip” Newborns in U.S. and Europe”
Oh, and there’s more. I really hope this isn’t the way people in Toronto think
See for yourselves (www.agoracosmopolitan.com)
Oh my! And all these decaying corpses will release even MORE methane! And without first paying for carbon credits, too.
Like the ‘rapture preacher’ & the JW’s, the cagw true believers just keep changing the date….another five year reprieve?
What if we all just flicked our Bics? From personal experience I know that works well around home….
Get’em, Anthony.
I think the record-busting October snow in the NE US was just a head-fake from Mother Nature. Although, the predicted body count was caveated with the phrase “global warming-related causes”. One could argue that billions of people have died in that time frame, and then someway relate their cause of death to AGW. Or climate change in current weather-speak. Seeing how we just surpassed the 7 billion living humans mark, I don’t think you’ll get any response.
Unless one would be forthcoming from The Team.
Between this story and Occupy Wall Street protestors messing up the pretty downtown urban areas, its like its the Zombie Apocalypse…
You really do not get it Anthony do you? This was about the 99% and the extincition of the Occupy movement… sarc/off
Is John Stokes any relation to Nick Stokes?
Better cut back on the sprouts this Christmas then; it may give us a few extra seconds before we all die.
You’ll be alright in bed Gareth as long as nobody holds your head under the covers when it goes off.
The “cooler heads….” link is refreshing.
And no pun intended.
I am sure that John Stokes is busy drafting a response email to you right now. It is at the top of his to do list.
Anthony,
Al Gore, the World Bank and HSBC (New Forest Co.) are working very hard to fulfill this prophecy by 2012 using mass starvation by planting the biodiversity killing and invasive Eucalyptus trees in Africa and S. America. Burning the villagers helps too.
I remember this. To add to this hysteria there was a Science Channel documentary about the Permian (P-K) extinction event 250 million years ago. The jest of the story was that the siberian traps plume eruption (which occured for 1 million years) was not enough to cause 95% of all species to die off. Instead the plume eruption caused all the methane hydrates to gasify which sufficated the oceans and raised the planet temp an additional 5 degrees C .
At the end of the show, they attempted to make the link to the current AGW situation. Methane hydrates are the ultimate positive feedback ticking time bomb, perfect for the AGW hysteria mongers.
Another doom and gloom prediction fail, that won’t find it’s way into the mainstream headlines.
The best part of that page was the Sandra Bullock look-alike.
Got a new puppy. named him Clathrate.
I’ve heard from Santa that the Polar Bears have already been firing up the excess methane using captured Greenpeace paraphernalia – as reported by Greenpeace survivors, the bears did say “thanks”. Apparently Ms. Claus and the dwarfs are also with-holding this year’s electronic ignition devices just in case. So the methane situation up there is probably already well in hand, even if not so in my own home. And in my dear sister’s. But we passed the tipping point long ago, so the real answer is adaptation, anyway.
4.5 billion? Farting is apparently deadlier than zombies. It is too bad this isn’t a silent killer as far as the media is concerned.
Honestly, they are aware that methane turns into CO2 pretty quickly right? And that methane growth has flat-lined?
No?
can we get the stupid people unionized so we can just look for the STUPID label?
This gives whole new context to “silent but deadly”.
Despite the warmistas apparent disgust with religion and reliance on science (and only consensus science will do, in this context), isn’t it amazing that most of their predictions of calamity or at least, tipping points from which there is no return, correspond to the “doom” point of an ancient religion?
Just sayin’ .
Anthony, did you personally write this? It does not appear to me as your style.
Whether it was you or a subby, take another look at the article quoted. It’s full of caveats. No news here – move on.
Can’t blame sprouts for this – contrary to popular myth, humans do not release much methane, if any. And since when did cow’s eat Christmas dinner?
“Nitrogen, the main constituent of air, is the primary gas released during flatulence, along with carbon dioxide. The lesser component gases methane and hydrogen are flammable, and so flatus containing adequate amounts of these can be ignited. However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the feces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane.[1] Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum.” (Wikipedia)
I genuinely struggled to read past “…local global warming…” wtf is that supposed to mean?
Mark says:
November 10, 2011 at 9:23 am
Mark – there’s not much difference between the headline above and this peer-reviewed paper by Hansen et al.
Hansen, J., Mki. Sato, P. Kharecha, G. Russell, D.W. Lea, and M. Siddall, 2007: Climate change and trace gases. Phil. Trans. Royal. Soc. A, 365, 1925-1954, doi:10.1098/rsta.2007.2052.
Paleoclimate data show that the Earth’s climate is remarkably sensitive to global forcings. Positive feedbacks predominate. This allows the entire planet to be whipsawed between climate states. One feedback, the “albedo flip” property of water substance, provides a powerful trigger mechanism. A climate forcing that “flips” the albedo of a sufficient portion of an ice sheet can spark a cataclysm. Ice sheet and ocean inertia provides only moderate delay to ice sheet disintegration and a burst of added global warming. Recent greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions place the Earth perilously close to dramatic climate change that could run out of our control, with great dangers for humans and other creatures.
—
Need I say more?
That’ll play havoc with the “sustainability” business.
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/john-stokes/4/b22/836
The last time body count was of interest was Vietnam. Most people have moved on since then. Apparently not this publication.
This sounds like another attempted example of what I am calling ‘Fear-Forced (Post-Normal) Science.’
existencial?
I guess Gaia will do like everybody else and smell its own fart, then wonder what she ate…
I have discovered some magic beans that can be planted to revrarch this problem.
Caution: eating these magic beans could fart the earth off its orbit, giving new meaning to “internal combustion” and “off-gassing”…
In the “mean” time, it’s 52 days and counting…
Idiots.
The climate fail files has only one entry. This would make an excellent addition.
If that page is going to exist, it needs to have lots of entries, otherwise the implication is that few of the predictions have failed, which is certainly not the case.
No kidding. People really write and publish stuff like that?
Now that most scientists agree human activity is causing the Earth to warm…….
“The big planet killing fart is coming,”
Gru is going to use that fart gun that Dr. Nefario built. (Despicable Me)
Quick everyone, light a match.
The unsustainable debt-fueled spending by Greek and other socialists is far more likely to implode in the next 52 days than anything else.
It was only 29 deaths per second when the prediction started, now it needs 1001 per second since I know of no Hydrate related deaths having occured yet. Plenty of time, the extinction will coincide with the arrival of the great prophet Zarquon.
This is better evidence of personality type at play than anything related to climate or science.
Another candidate for the Climate FAIL tab in WUWT, but we have to wait a few days don’t we?
From the same newsblog: http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage/2011/05/27/03614.html
“Some “conspiracy theorists” claim that curent changes in Earth’s climate and weather havoc is substantively linked to the approaching of a Planet X. They and researchers like former CNN reporter Mashall Masters allege that elites have sought to exploit the environmental movement to cover-up Planet X as the actual primary cause of prevailing climate-oriented havoc on Earth.”
It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
I’ve been under the doctor for a month now. I wondered why he went white when I explained. The only problem I have is that he gave me liquid parafin. That’s big oil isn’t it? OMG
I know my wife dies (of acute embarrassment) whenever I ‘fire on all cylinders’ in a public place…..
Mark says: “I really hope this isn’t the way people in Toronto think”
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/toronto/toronto-the-least-liked-city-in-canada-especially-by-westerners/article2231236/
Resrarch: A neutral scientific test onto which people project their own unconscious expectations.
Catastrophic methane release has been pretty well debunked. Most of the deep sea methane hydrate deposits are several degrees into the P/T stability region at the seafloor and only become unstable several thousand feet below the seafloor where the geothermal gradient makes it warmer.
Most methane hydrate deposits would remain stable at the surface under any plausible global warming scenario. If they were to melt, it would be from the bottom up, as the warmer temperatures gradually propagated downward several thousand feet from the seafloor. Needless to say that would take thousands of years, by which time we would be into the next ice age anyway.
Jackstraw said: November 10, 2011 at 9:39 am
“I remember this. To add to this hysteria there was a Science Channel documentary about the Permian (P-K) extinction event 250 million years ago.”
If they really said this then they got their abbreviations in a twist.
P-Tr exists [Permian-Triassic] 250 Ma
K-T (or K-Pg) exists [Cretaceous-Tertiary or -Paleogene] 65 Ma
There is no P-K.
I am unclear as to just how effective would be injection of methane into the atmosphere. Atmospheric methane is unstable having a half life of 7 years*. The destruction reaction is claimed to be by hydroxl radicals [.OH] that exist naturally in the atmosphere. According to one source, 500 million tonnes of methane are removed from the troposphere p.a. with a further 40 million tonnes removed in the stratosphere. (I have no idea of its reliability of the data but since it came from a greehnouse gas site I have no reason to doubt it). The hydoxyl radical is so effective in removing organic compounds that it is called the detergent of the troposphere.
The “necessity” of theorising an effect from methane comes because of the significant change in the C-12/C-13 ratio across the P-Tr boundary. The actual cause is not known.
* I took a module on astrobiology which stated that the presence of both oxygen and methane in a planet’s atmosphere is a major clue to the presence of life because they cannot coexist naturally.
Will it be televised at all in the Uk or is it a Canadian thing.
This is absolutely fantastic evidence of how these articles that go to global are truly ludicrous. Just to cover their behind, the individuals publicizing information such as this should set a deadline vastly beyond a something so small as 5 years! I mean come on, why set a 4.5 billion person death prediction if there is NOT clear evidence showcasing that this is even a possibility. Specifically in regards to global warming due to this article’s subject. Although, numbers such as this are no laughing matter, and anyone that comes to the surface to state a massive amount such as 4.5 billion people will die should have their facts straight! These are just my personal ramblings on the matter.
Tipping points are real. When a person or organization of great credibility speaks softly the world listens.
When a person of organization starts to lose credibility they must be more vocal and alarming to get anyone to listen.
After too many false calls for the end of the world, a tipping point is reached and all credibility is lost.
When credibility is lost there is nothing that can be said to regain it.
Did I mention a study proving that Global Warming will cause spiders to get bigger?
Bonus question; does it really take 52 days to jump a shark?
I noticed this in the article.
Methane in the atmosphere does not remain long, persisting for about 10 years before being oxidized to CO2 (a greenhouse gas that lasts for hundreds of thousands of years).
If you add the 356 days you get to Dec. 21 2012. That coinsides with the Mayan calander doomsday.
Microbiologist says:
November 10, 2011 at 9:55 am
“Whether it was you or a subby, take another look at the article quoted. It’s full of caveats. No news here – move on.”
People, move on, nothing to see here, only the usual caveats, meaning it’s perfectly normal science, just scientists talking, they didn’t say you’ll all die, they said you MIGHT die, see? Nothing extraordinary, move on…
I’m sure he was hoping we’d forget. Regardless, this will be one “feedback loop” he won’t soon forget. Those were the glory days for Alarmists, weren’t they? Now look at them, desperately trying to hang on, blaming China’s aerosols for the lack of warming the past decade, and lashing out viciously and futilely. Surely they must know the game is up.
2012 seemed like a long time away back in 07. Soy strips always give me planetary farts. I swear I can’t digest that stuff. I actually drive myself out of the room.
A hint for CAGW journalists: Use a spellchecker when you write time-specific doomsday prophesies. It’ll give you a warm ‘existencial’ inner glow.
I think they’re all sniffing glue
I hear a distant sound like a cat swimming in mayonnaise.
Quoting the article
“”Bibliographic reference courtesy of Brad Arnold who has an extensive resrarch background on Global Warming”.
2012 may be Doomsday in a way … it could be the end of an amazing run of good luck / good decisions ~ 1450 – ~ ?.
What goes up must come down. The cycle must complete.
Damn…Just when fewer and fewer of us carry cigarette lighters……..
You can leave Mr Stokes a note here…
http://www.blog.agoracosmopolitan.com/?p=56
I did, and am awaiting moderation, with bated breath.
Well, seeing how we will each be alive during the deaths of a couple billion people in our lifetimes and that all deaths occur within the lower troposhere where the weather is found, I guess one could say with a straight face that all those deaths were weather-related in some manner.
Contrary to this bozo, I know exactly when 7 billion people will die!
Exactly by the 31st of December, 2111. I may be off by a few hundred or a few thousand souls, but that’s miniscule compared to the vast majority that will be dead and gone. 🙂 And it doesn’t require one of those “existential” frames of mind, either.
Can you set light to it, as it bubbles out of the sea.
Not that I have ever done such a thing … that would be infantile …. moving on ….
.
The global warming crowd should publish a book on prophesy and let the world in on how its done.
Yeah people, why aren’t you dying yet? Your NOT dying is killing the planet!
Enough with the “everyone light a match” stuff!
If everyone lit a match at the same time, there might be an explosion as big as 17.4 Polands of TNT, which would possibly be big enough to to turn the earth into a potential fireball that might incinerate everything on the planet including perhaps, rocks, according to the average of 1,327 runs of my model.
(Do I get an “A” for the course in Alarmism 101 or is that maybe even good enough for a PhD thesis?)
Look I’m sure we should have every confidence that these “global warming scientists” will get to the bottom of this latest tipping point catastrophe Anthony.
John Stokes does seem to be having “two bob each way” though on this prediction, given his advice – “global warming scientists. I suggest you Google the term.”. But can we trust Google, no doubt they would be looking to those same “global warming scientists” for answers.
T. S. Eliot, “The Hollow Men”
(hollow = filled with what?):
“This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a …”
[Prrrrrffffftftftftftffftfftttttttt……….]
Speaking of feedback, has anyone noticed the huge increase in snow cover via the Cryosphere Today side-by-side comparison image? It looks to me that some quite robust snow has penetrated the lower latitudes, raising planetary albedo.
More snow = more reflected sunlight = lower solar energy absorption = lower temps.
Or is my model too simple?
Forget about it being televised worldwide: They couldn’t even get a national alert 30 second blurb right. Forget, also, about snails pace Global Warming killing 4.5 billion people by Dec. 31. It’s much more likely to happen if somebody panics and hits the red button, launching a full nuclear exchange. The current crop of fearless leaders don’t know jack about how to play Cold War.
Aaaaaaargh!
We’re all going to die because “The Canadian” can’t spell “existential”.
We’re doomed!
Maybe that Harold Campling guy is going to cut a big cheese in 52 days time.
steveta_UK: “… However, not all humans produce flatus that contains methane. For example, in one study of the feces of nine adults, only five of the samples contained archaea capable of producing methane.[1] Similar results are found in samples of gas obtained from within the rectum.”
Now you got me curious. Who did this study? And why? Was it a wife with a PhD or MD whose husband continuously farted and she was working on some cure? Was it some ex-jock(s) with a PhD or MD who wanted to impress his friends? Was it a male with a PhD or MD who thought he was inferior because he could not light his farts? It had to be someone really motivated by something to do this kind of study. And I don’t think money was the main motivator!
I love sensationalist “journalism”.
Over 4.5 Billion people COULD die from Global Warming-related causes by 2012.
Or, you know, it COULD be none.
Thank you WUWT. The most entertaining blog on the planet, at least while it (the planet) lasts!
I could not go without my daily WUWT LOL !
This was one of the best…..
That bit about it being a “weeks old theory” is bollocks. I remember a sci-fi novel from the early Noughties which dealt with the subject. Wish I could remember which one.
Was this “theory” devised by the same idiot who keeps telling us that the world will end on a certain date and then moving the date forward when it doesn’t?
AdderW says:
November 10, 2011 at 9:20 am
What is a “resrarch” ??
What people do at an “existencial” turning point.
Dermot asks about feedback.
No, feedback is only one way, this is what NSIDC has to day about it:
“The surface of snow and ice is white, so it reflects most solar energy back into space. But a small change in temperature can be enough to start melting the snow and ice. When it melts, the ground or ocean is exposed. The ground and the ocean surface are dark-colored, so they absorb more solar energy. The change from white, reflecting surfaces to dark, absorbing surfaces means a big change in heat. So warming can happen faster in the Arctic than in warmer regions.”
/sarc
Reminds me of the technique for making “blue angels”. Take one kid ready to cut loose, have him bend over with appropriate orifice exposed, light match a few inches away, and FIRE!
They only said people “could” die by 2012….they didn’t say they definitely would!
/sarc
Could the website be trolling for people to infect with malware using wacko its stories? See what Google says about the safety of the site, in 3 pages scanned they found 3 malware attempts:
http://safebrowsing.clients.google.com/safebrowsing/diagnostic?client=Firefox&hl=en-US&site=http://www.blog.agoracosmopolitan.com/?p=56
Nothing seems to stop them:
“World headed for irreversible climate change in five years, IEA warns: If fossil fuel infrastructure is not rapidly changed, the world will ‘lose for ever’ the chance to avoid dangerous climate change” by Fiona Harvey, environment correspondent, guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 9 November 2011
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2011/nov/09/fossil-fuel-infrastructure-climate-change?newsfeed=true
Here is some free advice. If you are predicting the end of the world, don’t make it so close, that when it doesn’t happen, people will mock you.
Kick it out there 30, 50, 100 years. That way, everyone will have forgotten.
@David L
The article says:
For a good take on everything, see here.
Why only 4.5 billion deaths? Would have been more scarey if they had said the entire life on the planet! (apart from the methane consuming microbes).
Nice one Anthony. I will spend my time as I do at the date of every other ‘End Of The World’ scare. Do a bit of browsing on the internet and have a bottle of red wine. (Not necessarily in that order).
“World headed for irreversible climate change in five years, IEA warns: If fossil fuel infrastructure is not rapidly changed, the world will ‘lose for ever’ the chance to avoid dangerous climate change” by Fiona Harvey, environment correspondent, guardian.co.uk, Wednesday 9 November 2011
They must think all their “made in China” goods means made of ‘China’. Amazing stuff. Really good. It’d be so sad to lose it for ever.
Although we do have influence in the matter, I think we humans give ourselves too much credit. I read somewhere that one burst of a volcano puts more CO2 in the atmosphere than the entire world in a year.
We will probably die earlier from sickness, something worse than aids. Also, most humans die of hunger and other to-be-prevented situations (like war). Let us focus on that first.
Oh, and oil/fossil fuel will run out, thats for sure. Its a finite resource and the definition of finite says it all. So it does matter that we keep re-inventing. Just not for the same reasons.
Gad you reminded me. Good excuse to buy that Porsche I’ve always wanted. Now I won’t have to be bothered with paying for it.
How can anyone disagree?? Runaway global warming will do that “if validated”. Was this pre- babies, polar bears, and frogs??
Never under estimate the damage potential of a planetary fart. Plus he has one more year. And he ties in nicely with the Mayan calender.Loving this great post
It is the feedback loop of more hot air from the believers. Well, it’s on some sort of loop at least…
Two cures:
1) Everybody breathe through your mouth and fan the air with a magazine
2) Everybody light a match and then blow it out. The smoke will mask the odor
Bravenewclimate has another catchy headline:
Will global warming cause a mass extinction event?
http://bravenewclimate.com/2008/08/14/will-global-warming-cause-a-mass-extinction-event/
The proper way to celebrate global warming tipping day is to congregate at your local Irish pub New Year’s eve and tip a draft of warm dark beer. No refrigeration required and you would be consuming CO2. Now that’s what I call proper global warming!
Why can’t we award “I’m stupid” signs to those stupid people?
It’s gonna be like all the horses that ever lived were all fed beef stroganoff all at once, and we’re all riding in the carriage behind them. It’s gonna be bad.
The first time I heard of marine methane as a possible cause of accelerated warming was in reference to the massive Siberian trap volcanic eruptions leading to the Permian-Triassic extinction event, about 250 million years ago. It is a bit of a stretch to say man has done anything equivalent to the most massive volcanic eruptive event in the last 500 million years.
Siberian Traps
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia [with maps]
“The Siberian Traps (Russian: Сибирские траппы Sibirskie trappi) form a large region of volcanic rock, known as a large igneous province, in the Russian region of Siberia. The massive eruptive event which formed the traps, one of the largest known volcanic events of the last 500 million years of Earth’s geological history, continued for a million years and spanned the Permian–Triassic boundary, about 251 to 250 million years ago.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siberian_Traps
Won’t all fossil fuel be eventually be burned by magma as its containing part of Earth’s crust is subducted?
OOps, too many be’s.
@Michael Palmer
> And all these decaying corpses will release even MORE methane! And without first paying for carbon credits, too.
You’re a genius! This is the sure way to immortality. If I don’t pay for the carbon credits first, they’ll never let me die. I’ll just have to keep on living. 😀
I remember this news story quite well. It is the one that put me on the path that I am on now. When I read this story it was quite alarming and if true made sense on a logical level. If the methane was a huge heat trapping gas then I could see how this could turn into a snowball situation. I was ready to champion the cause and spread the word of the impending doom. Fortunately I am also level headed. Before I go spouting off I like to know all the ins and outs of a situation. I really don’t like to be caught sounding like an idiot so having all the facts straight before I hit the go button is a requirement of mine. First as I started to research this very scary situation I began to notice a common theme that prickled my warning bells. At the end of every scary story was a statement that we need to do much more research. But wait! Didn’t they just get done telling us with complete certainty that very bad things were going to happen? If they were so certain of the impending doom then why the need for so much more research. As I scanned article after article my distrust kept growing. I could see where much of this seemed to be all about getting another round from the money wagon. Then I started finding the opposing views and they were actually made up with much more logic that the alarming stories. Eventually I found out about our surface stations and got to see the laughable state of the data at its source (thanks Anthony). It was then that I became skeptical about the validity of AGW. I may not be an expert on climate but I can tell you that aside from this blog I know more about it than anyone I have met. I do carry some amount of pride knowing that I was smart enough not to become a mindless sheep like so many around me. I have changed many minds and work to educate at every opportunity. Thank you Anthony and thank all of you who post here. I feel I learn as much if not more reading the discussions that go on here.
Cheers,
William Mason
I have said it before: this huge scam will only end when the public finally force the polititians to stop the funding. No funding = no AGW The polititians(national, EU and UN) still think more power can be gained and more taxes can be levied. Dictatorships are not involved, except where they can extort money.
Man, that’s going to be a terrific blow to somebody’ plans to get re-elected!
Pointing out their foolishness is bad enough… but sending it via a ‘low priority’ email? Anthony, you are a cruel, cruel man…
next we will be told obama is elgible to be POTUS and that he is a Christian!
this is fan[SNIP: the site policy forbids profanity. Please. -REP]tastic news!
I’m planning a December vacation to Barrow alaska and I was wondering if I should pack my bathing suit
sweet. might get some swimming pool time
PS: charles johnson is an idiot
@ Jackstraw, who wrote:
“The jest of the story ”
I didn’t get the jest. Maybe I just don’t have much of a sense of humor.
But I did skim the story, so I got the gist of it.