From the Huffington Post, a tale of bliss. WUWT Readers may remember Mr. Bloom from a previous story where he did something outlandish, but it appears he was simply protecting his future bride. There’s no mention at HuffPo if Earth was a willing partner or if it was a shotgun wedding. There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. It is assumed the groom will honeymoon with Gaia in one of the polar cities he proposes where we can all escape the “global warming heat wave” at the lower latitudes. Congratulations to the happy couple. – Anthony
“Man marries Earth in Rare Ceremony”
On December 4, 2010, [Danny Bloom] married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!
The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which the groom, 61, married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!
The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which Bloom, a Boston native, recited previously keyed-in vows declaring that he would “love and cherish his beloved, Earth, — 4,000,000,010 years old but still beautiful and comely in her white aura of cloud cover — for the rest of his life or ”until death do him part.”
Earth, for her part, said:
“We’re soulmates now. We always were, but now it’s on paper. I’ve married the man I created! I’ve married the world I love.”
Bloom asked that instead of gifts, guests and other interested parties donate funds to global warming awareness campaigns in their respective countries.”
After the wedding was over, symbolized by a long green fern wrapped around his balding head, Bloom kissed his bride one more time, saying to everyone within earshot:
“Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!”
Earth, as beautiful as ever, added:
“He always says things like that! For my part, today marks the beginning of a new conciousness [sic] among humans, and if our little private ceremony has been able to help raise awareness about the problems of global warming and climate change, then I am one happy planet!”
Wedding Vows:
Do you, Danny Bloom, take the Earth to be your cosmicly wedded wife? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect her, whether in good times or during human-caused global warming times of adversity, and to seek with her a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)
And do you Earth, take this eccentric blooming idiot, to be your cosmicly-wedded husband? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect him, whether
in good fortune or in adversity, and like he said above, that stuff above global warming and climate change, and to seek with him a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)
I now pronounce you two lovebirds humankind and Earth. You may kiss the bride. You may embrace your husband.
(They do)
h/t to Tom Nelson and Tom Pipes Up (again)
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Sounds to me like Earth would be very angry at his remarks: Fly me to the Moon. To Jupiter and Mars!!! What’s the matter, buddy, why so anxious to leave your new bride?
NOT an auspicious beginning to the relationship…
Will their son be Captain Planet?
rufkm??!!
This could of course be considered the act of a deranged mind but for the choice of bride.
Whereas a man marying a dog would have no mitigation for that diagnosis;
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/8179132/Australian-man-marries-pet-dog-Honey.html
No madder than religious folk marrying their diety, I suppose, but to me it seems he must be a genuine 24-carat card-carrying looney.
Nothing they do to grab press surprises me, anymore.
Don’t ask, Don’t tell has not filtered down to the “rub and stick their private parts into any available orifice” crowd.
[d]
“Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!”
You’d think he’d wait until after the reception to start in on other planets.
Hmmm…
Maybe this is his version of Earth Girls are Easy, buthe he had to settle for just…errr….Earth.
This about says all one needs to know about Warmists.
Where was the honeymoon? Will they consummate the marriage?
It’s too bad he didn’t fall in love with one of Earth’s sister planets. We could’ve shipped him off on a one-way trip.
Do you, Danny Bloom, take the Earth to be your
cosmiclycomically wedded wife?I want some of what he was taking in the 60s (and is yet to come down from). Then I might be inclined to find this event beautiful. Right now I’m just thinking this guy’s a twat.
So, uh, he married his mother?
Have you ever seen the really bad, but funny, movie Mom and Dad Save the Universe? It starts off by saying there was a planet of idiots and it wasn’t referring to earth. However, I’m convinced more and more that that movie could very well apply to earth.
“There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. It is assumed the groom will honeymoon with Gaia in one of the polar cities. . .”
(Remembers scene from A Christmas Story where the kid stuck his tongue ona flagpole)
Is an early sighting of a cuckoo further proof of global warming?
Thus beggars the question … what will he be doing on his wedding night ?
“Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!”
Just got married and he is already looking to someone else!
‘Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!’. Cheating on her already. Hope she got a prenup.
I wish the happy couple every, err…
“There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. ”
But I bet Big Oil gets accused of adultery.
Neo says:
December 4, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Thus beggars the question … what will he be doing on his wedding night ?
I expect he’ll be sowing seed on Gaia’s stony ground.
A simple case of one upsmanship – someone had already married a dolphin :
http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3191923,00.html
Hey Danny: yo wife so big, she got her own gravitational field. And a moon.
REPLY: Best joke evah on WUWT! – Anthony
Where are the men in white coats when you need them?
The phrase; “pound sand” comes to mind. 😉