No joke: 'Climate change may prevent contact with alien civilisations'

climate_aliensFrom the you’ve got to be effing kidding me department come this dead serious essay from “The Conversation”, that hotbed of climate alarmism in Australia which somehow got past bullshit detectors at phys.org.

The money quote sort of tries to talk down the headline, but they leave it wide open as a possibility.

David Waltham writes:

So why don’t we see advanced civilisations swarming across the universe? One problem may be climate change. It is not that advanced civilisations always destroy themselves by over-heating their biospheres (although that is a possibility). Instead, because stars become brighter as they age, most planets with an initially life-friendly climate will become uninhabitably hot long before intelligent life emerges.

The Earth has had 4 billion years of good weather despite our sun burning a lot more fuel than when Earth was formed. We can estimate the amount of warming this should have produced thanks to the scientific effort to predict the consequences of man-made greenhouse-gas emissions.

These models predict that our planet should warm by a few degrees centigrade for each percentage increase in heating at Earth’s surface. This is roughly the increased heating produced by carbon dioxide at the levels expected for the end of the 21st century. (Incidentally, that is where the IPCC prediction of global warming of around 3°C centigrade comes from.)

Read more at: http://phys.org/news/2014-06-climate-contact-alien-civilisations.html#jCp

Is there anything climate change can’t do? I predict effects on black holes next.

On the plus side, Michael Mann must be relieved that the Green Lizards aren’t coming after him.

h/t to Marc Morano and Leif Svalgaard

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Latitude

…I thought it was because we’re too stupid

cnxtim

Are you kidding me? CAGW devotees ARE aliens!

It sounds like they are admitting that solar activity is the true culprit everywhere

Charles Nelson

Since the election of the Abbot government, who’s very first act was to abolish the Climate Commission, the climate establishment here in Aus has been under blitzkrieg type assault…they may well be suffering from shell-shock!

dccowboy

ROFLMAO! Really? I don’t really know what to say at this point.

Gunga Din

Back in the ’60’s I had a pimple on my nose. Was the climate changing that long ago?
Can I sue somebody?

Jimbo

Is there anything climate change can’t do? I predict effects on black holes next.

I dunno. 3,2,1 go.

Guardian – 18 August 2011
Aliens may destroy humanity to protect other civilisations, say scientists
Rising greenhouse emissions could tip off aliens that we are a rapidly expanding threat, warns a report
…..This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by a Nasa-affiliated scientist and colleagues at Pennsylvania State University …..
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2011/aug/18/aliens-destroy-humanity-protect-civilisations
=====
Aliens Global Warming Attack: NASA-Link Retracted
So what the Guardian told us was a report for NASA written by scientists turns out to be a fun paper written by a few friends.
http://www.thegwpf.org/aliens-global-warming-attack-nasa-link-retracted/

Co2 is a magical gas.

Bill Parsons

I didn’t know we were trying. I really need to get my head out of the sand.

Wait…
Does that mean climate change will stave off the alien invasion caused by climate change?
I wish they’d make up their minds.

observa
Dave N

Wasn’t there a story a couple of years back that suggested aliens might not bother to contact us because they can somehow detect, from many, many light years away, that we’re contributing too much CO2 to our atmosphere?

hunter

Is it any kookier than claiming that a few degrees of heating would turn Earth into a Venusian inferno?

Once again, WUWT helps expose the lunatics who believe we are all going to melt into a pile of burning, stinking flesh if we don’t stop driving our cars, powering our homes, industry and world. Ludicrous nonsense.

Jimbo

The Earth has had 4 billion years of good weather despite our sun burning a lot more fuel than when Earth was formed.

Bollocks. Why look at 4 billion years of ‘weather’ when you really should be saying climate? Weather is not climate.
Why not look at the last 2 million years? In the last few million years the normal state of the Earth is ice ages (good ‘weather’?). Most of the recent interglacials have been HOTTER than the Holocene. Should aliens conclude that we humans are cooling the Earth during interglacials??? The Holocene is STILL on a cooling trend. It’s worse than we thought!
Nothing to see here, move along folks.

Robert of Ottawa

These models predict that our planet should warm by a few degrees centigrade for each percentage increase in heating … ???

If you can bring yourself to believe that the output of unverified computer models is evidence, the sky is not the limit. http://wattsupwiththat.com/2014/04/10/why-a-compelling-theory-is-not-enough/

Thank God… So all this time letting my truck idle in the driveway overnight has protected us from the Brain Sucking Aliens. I suddenly feel even better than I felt before, which was already pretty good!

Jimbo

Is there anything climate change can’t do? I predict effects on black holes next.

Would that be a retroactive prediction? LOL.

WUWT – June 10, 2012
Quote of the Week: ‘global warming stunts black holes’
It appears “global warming” is now the most potent force in the universe, according to a scientist from the Max Planck Institute for Astrophysics. An actual scientific paper preprint published in the Cornell University science archive makes the connection to black holes in the title, and includes “climate change” in the abstract……
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2012/06/10/quote-of-the-week-global-warming-stunts-black-holes/

Global warming is like tulip mania. It will soon fizzle out as people slowly come to their senses. As the Earth slowly defies their garbage and does NOT WARM. Shame on Hansen and his ship of fools.

But.....

But…..aren’t they already here???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOAvL1O3DyM

Oh, I dunno– seems to me we’ve been here awhile, climate change hasn’t stopped us yet.
mjmsprt40, undocumented space alien.

JimS

I am now thinking that the human civilization should probably disappear from the Universe before we embarrass ourselves even more. If other intelligent life forms elsewhere get wind of the nonsense that our alleged intelligent leaders and scientists are telling us, they will surely laugh themselves to death.

The climate has been achanging and no aliens. QED
Same as garlic prevents vampires. I eat garlic and have had really minimal vampire problems.

@ Jimbo, June 10, 2014 at 4:43 pm
Ah, but that’s how we stop the anti-AGW invasion.We use climate change to shut down the interstellar worm holes.

bevothehike

Keep it coming. This is how the GOP destroyed itself with the help of the media. Again the media is helping but I don’t think they realize who/what side. AGW proponents don’t even realize this is the caricature they have become.

“Remarkably, biological and geological evolution have generally produced cooling and this has compensated for the warming effect of our ageing sun. There have been times when compensation was too slow or too fast, and the Earth warmed or cooled, but not once since life first emerged has liquid water completely disappeared from the surface.”
Wait…what? Earth’s compensation has at TIMES (plural) been “too slow or to fast, and the Earth warmed or cooled…” On it’s OWN??? No way….”too fast” is unprecedented. Ask Mann.

“The Convseration” vs “The Conversation”- dyslexics untie!

The original “When the Earth Stood Still” was a masterpiece! (and not just because the female lead was played by Patricia Neal, who I am a great fan of). It was about how aliens could come in peace. Their message was simple. Blow the damn place up if you want, but do not export your violence to the rest of the universe.
The remake was a cluster flop! They bastardized the message. It was “you are destroying your planet so we will destroy you before you can succeed”. And the way we were destroying it was of course global warming.
So I think these clowns in Australia need to get together with the producers of the film and figure out exactly what the aliens want! If they are going to stop us, they will have to come here and do it.

Bob Diaz

WOW, climate change can do ANYTHING, except match their flawed computer modems!! ;-)!

The “pro-science” brigade believes in aliens. How quaint.

PaulH

Incidentally, that is where the IPCC prediction of global warming of around 3°C centigrade comes from.
The 3°C centigrade (sic) number was plucked from thin air, but I suppose it could have easily been plucked from outer space.

P@ Dolan

Aliens have already been and gone, fellas. That’s where the missing warming went (I guess they read the AGW screeds, and decided we had plenty to spare…)…

They are experts on all stars and extra-solar planets now, I knew this day would happen.

george e. conant

Wait, I was certain the earth is surrounded by a million spacecraft from as many space age species sent here because of really bad television programming…. But no. They are here to intervene because we have caused CO2 to spike a bit in the troposphere, Golly. I think I am suffering pre-post traumatic stress syndrome now. I hate that when that happens.

Louis Hooffstetter

“We can estimate the amount of warming this should have produced thanks to the scientific effort to predict the consequences of man-made greenhouse-gas emissions”
Bullshit.
“These models predict that our planet should warm by a few degrees centigrade for each percentage increase in heating at Earth’s surface.”
Bullshit squared.

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7

This article is garbage. Aliens have long regarded this entire planet as “flyover country”. Aliens don’t come here unless they have a warp drive breakdown or are graduate students at some third rate multiversity condemned to study primitive species because nobody trusts them to do real research. They mostly stay in their alien base camps getting high (ozone is a favorite) and waiting for warp drive breakdowns to relieve the boredom. They make occasional forays “on planet” to probe a sampling of earth inhabitants, followed by writing turgid papers on our continued lack of development and grubbing for more grants to continue the dreary cycle (which is still preferable to getting a real job).

Show these morons the Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram…

emsnews

All of you are wrong!
You see, the guy who only comes once a year via the wormhole in the Arctic has twelve rain deer, you see? And he knows if we are naughty or nice.
And if you are like us here, NAUGHTY, you get some COAL! Not made in China toys. 🙂

emsnews says:
June 10, 2014 at 6:02 pm
I’ve always wondered how Santa delivers presents to children on distant worlds on Christmas night.

emsnews says:
June 10, 2014 at 6:02 pm
All of you are wrong!
You see, the guy who only comes once a year via the wormhole in the Arctic has twelve rain deer, you see? And he knows if we are naughty or nice.
And if you are like us here, NAUGHTY, you get some COAL! Not made in China toys. 🙂
—————————————————————
Uh— Not exactly. Actually, he comes in a rusty Chevrolet. I happen to have that on the very best authority. You’re right about the coal though. He seems to find it funny that, with all this talk of CAGW, he can leave one of the dirtiest fuels on the planet in stockings, with a fair amount of that coal being burned in the colder regions for heat.

Bill Illis

Just a few years ago, a report said that the aliens might come and wipe us out to protect the rest of the planet from our GHG emissions.
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2011/aug/18/aliens-destroy-humanity-protect-civilisations
One of several scenarios proposed.

Steve from Rockwood

The Fermi Paradox? Who said that intelligent life has to master interstellar space travel to be intelligent? That would mean humans aren’t intelligent (yet). And that was the opening sentence. That and the fact that Howard Stern was beamed to Earth to test the intelligence of Earthlings and shortly after bought his own satellite just to send a message back to his home planet – “get me the hell out of here!”

It’s all true.

Alan Robertson

dccowboy says:
June 10, 2014 at 4:21 pm
“ROFLMAO! Really? I don’t really know what to say at this point.”
______________________
try:
Klaatu barada nikto

Neo

It’s quite obvious that, at least in the US, the entire Climate Change Movement will come to a screeching halt under the doctrine of separation of Church and State.
When scientists sound like cheap TV preachers, eventually the real TV preachers will sue.

Miguel Sanchez

David Waltham primarily writes about the changing climate of planets due to increased radiation from stars that are blowing up and become red giants. That would narrow the period of it’s potentially inhabitable planet of beeing in the zone between too cold like Mars and too hot like Venus to few 100 million years. In the case of earth this would have been to short for development of self-replicating molecules into organisms that are able to discover outer space, leave it’s atmosphere and ultimately colonize the galaxy.
He claims that earth was just lucky and life on other planets would be extinct because of the changing climate there (!!!) before they reach the era of spaceflight.
He doesn’t say that our atmospheres’ content of CO2 will influence other civilizations or our search for them. The reference to IPCC and it’s propaganda seems just to be there for comparison. The ‘climate change’ he talks about is supposed to occur on other civilizations’ planets and could have plenty of reason’s, mainly the increase of their star’s radiation.
REPLY: Yes perhaps, but it is still a stupid headline – A

On the positive side he is saying it’s the sun — does that mean we can forget CO2?
Just askin’

James Strom

philjourdan says:
June 10, 2014 at 5:29 pm
Movie trivia–great! The Day the Earth Stood Still is excellent 50’s science fiction. The galactic police force shows up on Earth and threatens to destroy the planet unless earthlings abjure destructive nuclear weapons. It had a hint of romance, a baaad robot, and a happy ending. It even sported a whimsical scientist inspired by Einstein, lost in his studies. As a little bonus the visiting alien shows “Einstein” how to put the finishing touches on his unified theory of the cosmos.
But more interesting and perhaps more on topic is a supplemental discussion by the film makers. They saw their film as their own warning to earthlings to put aside petty disputes and turn to a new super-authority, the UN, to resolve all their conflicts. The film makers were lovable old communists who thought that nothing but good could come from an international authoritarian body. They would have adored the IPCC.
It’s interesting to contrast this with Independence Day, which features aliens who are neither supervisory nor benign. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a remake of the old Orson Welles’ presentation of The War of the Worlds. Those badass aliens might embody your worst nightmare of what the UN could become. But, to end with another bit of trivia: early in Independence Day there is a brief flash of a TV set showing a rerun of The Day the Earth Stood Still. Many gullible earthlings apparently still thought that the Galactic Bureaucracy would bring us nothing but good.

@James Strom – excellent analysis! (mine was short to stick to the point). It was the heady days after WWII and the UN still had some integrity left. So yes, that is the message of the 50s. So what is the excuse of the remake? I guess they gave up on the UN. 😉

Ad Hom time!!!!

Rob

Damn it Jim!

Tom (or a convincing facsimile of) in Florida

Being a suspected alien myself (as my wife and kids insist), I can say we only want to build a highway through here but Earth is in the way.