From the Huffington Post, a tale of bliss. WUWT Readers may remember Mr. Bloom from a previous story where he did something outlandish, but it appears he was simply protecting his future bride. There’s no mention at HuffPo if Earth was a willing partner or if it was a shotgun wedding. There’s also no mention of how such a marriage would be consummated. It is assumed the groom will honeymoon with Gaia in one of the polar cities he proposes where we can all escape the “global warming heat wave” at the lower latitudes. Congratulations to the happy couple. – Anthony
“Man marries Earth in Rare Ceremony”
On December 4, 2010, [Danny Bloom] married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!
The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which the groom, 61, married his longtime companion and love of his life — Earth!
The festive ceremony was an internet-enabled weddiing, online and in real time, in which Bloom, a Boston native, recited previously keyed-in vows declaring that he would “love and cherish his beloved, Earth, — 4,000,000,010 years old but still beautiful and comely in her white aura of cloud cover — for the rest of his life or ”until death do him part.”
Earth, for her part, said:
“We’re soulmates now. We always were, but now it’s on paper. I’ve married the man I created! I’ve married the world I love.”
Bloom asked that instead of gifts, guests and other interested parties donate funds to global warming awareness campaigns in their respective countries.”
After the wedding was over, symbolized by a long green fern wrapped around his balding head, Bloom kissed his bride one more time, saying to everyone within earshot:
“Fly me to the moon! To Jupiter and Mars!. This is the most wonderful day of my life!”
Earth, as beautiful as ever, added:
“He always says things like that! For my part, today marks the beginning of a new conciousness [sic] among humans, and if our little private ceremony has been able to help raise awareness about the problems of global warming and climate change, then I am one happy planet!”
Wedding Vows:
Do you, Danny Bloom, take the Earth to be your cosmicly wedded wife? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect her, whether in good times or during human-caused global warming times of adversity, and to seek with her a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)
And do you Earth, take this eccentric blooming idiot, to be your cosmicly-wedded husband? (“I do”).
Do you promise to love, cherish and protect him, whether
in good fortune or in adversity, and like he said above, that stuff above global warming and climate change, and to seek with him a life hallowed by the eons of time? (“I do”)
I now pronounce you two lovebirds humankind and Earth. You may kiss the bride. You may embrace your husband.
(They do)
h/t to Tom Nelson and Tom Pipes Up (again)
jeez-
Thats why we’re making fun and teasing this guy.
That’s what we do with madmen.
Crack a joke, it feels good.
[d]
Rational Debate says:
December 4, 2010 at 4:49 pm
And Earth went merrily spinning on her way, laughing at the hubris of man. For although Danny Bloom had an auspicious surname and was standing upon her breast during the ceremony, Earth was mute and did not participate. She watched instead as Mr. Bloom proceeded to fool himself, and giggled at his presumption.
Meanwhile, Earth herself remained unbound, free to go unhindered by Mr. Bloom’s poppy field delusions. In reality, all along she worshiped the Sun from a distance, evermore in orbit around his splendor, captured within the spell of his bright charisma and gravity, and obeying his every command. Yet far enough removed that she remained free to sow her wild oats to her hearts content so long as she continually basked in the approbation of the Sun.
So scintillated by the constant tickle of his magnetic touch was she, that she was unable to keep her gaze upon him steady, and instead was left always slightly off balance, showing him yet a different face every moment, trying on her different clothes over the ages, now green and blue, now brown or white, and every combination in between… and so she continued her eternal dance around the Sun, forever bound to him alone within this great universe.
By Rajendra Pachauri
Hey Bloom, Gaia may be your wife but she’s still my behatch!
Adam Gallon says:
December 5, 2010 at 12:35 am
I think that Earth should file for divorce, non-consumation of marriage?
Proof of consummation will be all the little “Blooms” come spring-time
Baa Humbug says:
December 4, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Whilst the humour is flowing, I didn’t realise Al Gores name was a carefully selected acronym.
Global Organisation for Reduction in Emissions.
You missed the AL.
A Lying Global Organisation for Reduction in Emissions, surely?
I thought Earth was your mother? Freudian? This is kinda weird—if you didn’t know.
How did he consummate the marriage?
Ever more a religion. Aren’t nuns the brides of Jesus or something? Just another one to be added to the growing list on top of papal indulgences and original sin.
Sadly, after enjoying all the humorous comments, I have to conclude the Mr |Bloom is nothing more than an extreme example of publicity-seeking enviro-mentalist. And perhaps, as the old musical theatre song says, “Gaia than Springtime”.
This guy is out of touch. Even Popes have stopped kissing the tarmac.
Congrats on the nuptials Danny and of course you and your Gaia’s future together. But be forewarned, she loves her mother who has a major influence in her life. Mamasun is getting a bit aged and menopausal as of late and is prone to mood swings and hot and cold spells. She means nothing the best for her kids and Gaia but it’s very hard to just let go of a child though she knows they’ve been drifting apart for years.
Of course Danny, these are things you can not correct and they have been in the making for years.
Mamasun has lost control of older siblings in the past and they eventually found their own way but still hold onto her influences. And so will you and Gaia to find your own way in life “‘and to death do you part”.
I hope their marriage consummation isn’t too climatic.
John
I’m sure that he is so happy with his new lifestyle, wife etc.
Over the Moon perhaps?
Dear Moderator,
Did my post of about 1.5 ago get assigned to the nether regions at WUWT?
John
REPLY: recovered above – A
Just letting him know that his wife a whore. She’s been sleeping with everybody, even animals.
You have to admire the thought and effort Danny has put into his ideas. If only he was headed in the right direction. I am troubled by how negatively these people view the future (specifically humanity’s). It must be very difficult to get out of bed in the morning. If only there was a cure for proctocraniosis. Perhaps a telethon? Does anyone have Jerry Lewis’s number?
DirkH says:
December 4, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Looks like this guy.
“Civilization is in big trouble.” Because we read stuff on screens now instead of paper.
have a look at the link.
Surely this guy is just taking the piss.
It is just a joke.
He is sitting back with his mates drinking beers and rolling around with laughter at the stir he has created…..
I hope.
Just remembered something: in the Corn King ritual worship of Earth, the corn king – Bloom – would be sacrificed on the seventh year of his reign, so perhaps he isn’t a liberal Gaian, he might -be- a traditionalist. I wonder if his rite goes with the wicker man (think Burning Man festival), or drowning in a peat bog like they did before the coming of the Aesir-worshippers.
re post by: Will says: December 5, 2010 at 2:25 am
By Rajendra Pachauri ….
hum…. so, Will, are ya saying I have a future in Romance Novels? I’ll have to make it “legends of climate change” or something.
As to any comparison with Pachauri – ewe, now I feel like I need a shower. Ick.
“you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows!”
Steve Schaper says:
December 5, 2010 at 9:03 am (Edit)
Just remembered something: in the Corn King ritual worship of Earth, the corn king – Bloom – would be sacrificed on the seventh year of his reign, so perhaps he isn’t a liberal Gaian, he might -be- a traditionalist. I wonder if his rite goes with the wicker man (think Burning Man festival), or drowning in a peat bog like they did before the coming of the Aesir-worshippers.
—…—…
Neither choice is eco-friendly actually.
If you burn your remains, there is nothing effectively left to rot out and form fertilizer. If you drown in a peat bog, you’ve (potentially) preserved your remains, but the “pickled flesh” that is left in the bog isn’t fertilizer either.
Since leaving one’s body to rot “on the shelf” in the air generates nothing but odors, CO2, insect and bacteria and worm bait – but is admittedly all the more “natural” for all of its smells, waste, disease, and putrification for others to “enjoy” for weeks – you would think he would request he be wrapped in his death clothes (only natural cotton or linen most assuredly!) and buried underground.
Or recycled into soylent green. 8<)
Well I don’t want anyone thinking I could be messing around with another man’s wife!
From now on, I’m doing no more favors for Gaia than I would for any planet!
In theory the honeymoon would involve the Mariana Trench. I hope he knows about the size of that thing. Yowza..
One question.. are we hyphenated now? I generally try to avoid the hyphenated.
In the words of Bugs Bunny, whose wisdom will be remembered long after Mr. Bloom is gone and forgotten, “What a maroon!”
Heh
The beer hit the monitor a couple more times.
Dan Gaia-Bloom is born.
Her name comes first in the last name cause She’s In Charge.
Funny how it sounds like Dan Gaybloom in my English.
[d]
Well I guess since dear old Danny won’t be having any sex with his new wife he can just go f*** himself. The rest of the AGW wackos are invited to do the same.