BBC Explains How to Have Carbon Guilt Free Sex

Guest essay by Eric Worrall

Worried that your sex toy might be made of petroleum products? Have you checked the ingredients in your lube? The BBC wants to help people who might be worried about the carbon impact of their sex life.

Eco-friendly sex: What is it and how does it impact on climate change?

By Harriet Orrell
BBC World Service

What is eco-friendly sex?

“For some, being eco-friendly sexually means selecting lubes, toys, bed sheets and condoms that have less impact on the planet,” explains Dr Adenike Akinsemolu, an environmental sustainability scientist from Nigeria. 

“For others, it entails reducing the damage in the creation of porn to workers and the environment. Both examples are valid and of importance.”

The UN Population Fund estimates around 10 billion male latex condoms are manufactured each year and most are disposed of in landfills.

That’s because most condoms are made from synthetic latex and use additives and chemicals, meaning they cannot be recycled.

Lambskin condoms, which have been used since Roman times, are the only fully biodegradable option. However, they are made from the intestine of a sheep and do not prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Many lubes are also petroleum-based, and therefore contain fossil fuels. This has led to a rise in water-based or organic products. And homemade options are becoming more popular.

Lauren lives almost entirely waste-free and, since 2012, has collected anything she hasn’t been able to recycle in a jar. 

You won’t find condoms in Lauren’s jar and, as they are the only contraception effective against STIs, she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.

The climate impact of reproducing

Which brings us to another point where sex and the environment collide – having children.

According to a 2017 study, living car-free saves about 2.3 tonnes of CO2 a year, while sticking to a plant-based diet saves 0.8 tonnes. By comparison – if you live in the developed world – not having a child saves about 58.6 tonnes per year. 

Read more:

Lauren Singer looks pretty attractive, but personally I’d feel nervous about falling asleep next to someone who prides herself on putting things she no longer has a use for in her special jar.

Of course, having the British government BBC, or someone like Lauren, lecture you on the carbon friendly way to have sex probably causes an immediate reduction of the “problem”, so maybe the issue wouldn’t pop up in that scenario.

Obviously having the government and climate fanatics like Lauren lecturing people about how to enjoy sex without harming the planet is not nearly intrusive enough to keep the planet safe from waste and excessive carbon dioxide.

For the last few years, scientists have been working on a machine which can read your thoughts, including your dreams. The current generation device is the size of a room, and its ability to make sense of your thoughts is extremely limited, barely functional. But I keep thinking, the first computers were also just as large and clunky.

As the technology is developed a device could conceivably eventually be produced which could be implanted into your head, which would help wearers lead entirely carbon guilt free lives, by analysing their thoughts in realtime and warning them when they were thinking about doing something which might harm the planet.

If bad think persists, the implanted device could send a report to the climate police, so the government could assign the miscreant to the nearest climate re-education facility.

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October 27, 2021 10:03 pm

One, two… scalpel on standby.

October 27, 2021 10:10 pm

Or just be such a woketard no one wants to have sex with you?

Peta of Newark
Reply to  Tom Halla
October 27, 2021 10:52 pm

Nailed it..
She’s not getting any thus nobody else can.
Yet again= the politics of the playground

A *very* similar story went past on the beeb about 2 years ago. (thought I bookmarked it but didn’t)

Did bookmark this tho..
Headline (May 2019): British people ‘having less sex’ than previously

Oh hello, does this *possibly* explain anything in conjunction the above link.

Or is this what’s grieving the less-than-lovely Lauren?

It certainly explains the story we’ve just seen about Joanna Lumley…
An ageing actress, quite perfectly stereotyped by her role in Ab-Fab, has found herself with no work and little money.
First thing she needs is a little publicity, to remind the world she’s still alive and kicking

This is where the notion of ‘Never better‘ is turned completely upside down – like The Earth was 85mya and as we’ve just learned.

Because the only peeps who would give Joanna any publicity was/is the Climate Gutterati at the Grauniad
(You know why that was – Grauniad and BBC are haha “In bed together” but the BBC is not allowed to blatantly advertise anything. Except itself and the Grauniad)

So, ta-dahhhh, Joanna gets Free Publicity for her job-hunting exercise.
Exactly as described in the book I linked to.

So, we clearly see how “The World is Never Better‘ because the dear, old and genuine National Treasure that is Joanna Lumley had been forced to publicly humiliate and prostitute herself ‘for the climate’

Which takes us right back to the top of this story = Nothing is off limits to these hideous people.
But: Magical Thinking borne of consuming sugar, booze and their own media ‘product’ tells them they are perfectly On Limit and so they project their dysfunction onto everyone else, using the BBC and the rest of the MSM

Just Switch It Off – bring on the renewable unreliables.
Pull The Plug.
Build the windmills – they’ll be just as good at chopping up the Grauniad and BBC as they are at chopping our feathered friends of an aerial disposition.
(Not TV aerial – I only still have one because, you couldn’t make it up but, what we in the UK call Love Birds love sitting on it. Maybe properly= ‘Collared Doves’ = small beige coloured pigeons that ALWAYS go around in pairs)

It will herald the dawn of a genuine ‘never better’ era wherein these legions of meddlesome nobodies are rendered dumb and haha, impotent.

Last edited 1 year ago by Peta of Newark
Reply to  Tom Halla
October 28, 2021 3:32 am

They should not be allowed to breed anyhow … save the planet already all you woke losers.

Tony Sullivan
Reply to  Tom Halla
October 28, 2021 4:31 am

But that means woketards are only having sex with other woketards and that can’t be good.

Jim Whelan
Reply to  Tony Sullivan
October 28, 2021 10:25 am

You mean multiplying “woketards” isn’t like multiplying negative numbers so you get a positive? What a disappointment.

Reply to  Tony Sullivan
October 28, 2021 1:58 pm

Woketardiness MUST be from a regressive gene. Obviously. So they really shouldn’t breed together.

Charles Higley
Reply to  Tom Halla
October 28, 2021 6:35 am

At least she is a biological dead end. That’s a good thing.

Reply to  Charles Higley
October 28, 2021 6:41 am

A non-violent winner of the Darwin Award?

Smart Rock
October 27, 2021 10:22 pm

During the pandemic, it is important to maintain a social distance of 2 metres when having sex. And don’t forget to wear masks too.

Peter Wells
Reply to  Smart Rock
October 28, 2021 5:18 am

Which leads to the question, Where do you wear the mask?

oeman 50
Reply to  Peter Wells
October 28, 2021 7:41 am

You don’t need to wear a mask, a paper bag will do.

Tom in Florida
Reply to  oeman 50
October 28, 2021 11:46 am

Unless she’s a two bagger. One for her and one for you in case the one she’s wearing falls off.
(h/t to Rodney)

Andy Pattullo
Reply to  Smart Rock
October 28, 2021 7:30 am

There’s a joke in there somewhere that would more safely be applied to that fish I caught.

Max More
October 27, 2021 10:31 pm

she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”
If they are sleeping, they are doing it wrong.

Having sex causes heavy breathing and therefore more CO2 output. If you believe in a climate crisis, stop having sex! In fact, stop reproducing, stop eating, and stop breathing. Do everyone a favor.

Rory Forbes
Reply to  Max More
October 27, 2021 11:06 pm

I was immediately alerted when I read, “she asks all her sexual partners to get tested” . I had a flash vision of a little kiosk just outside her door with a steady flow of young men being field tested and inspected for suitability, with ‘Big Nurse’ in charge.

“Dear gawd … what am I doing here? It must be a nightmare.”

Bryan A
Reply to  Rory Forbes
October 28, 2021 6:12 am

Hope Little Johnny measures up

Rory Forbes
Reply to  Bryan A
October 28, 2021 11:53 am

I’m wondering how many shattered males have not measured up to her exacting standards … in the tens, the hundreds. The mind boggles.

Reply to  Max More
October 28, 2021 12:01 am

she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.

She shouldn’t be having sex with others (it’s what your hands are for ! ), think of the carbon footprint of all these tests & oral contraceptives.

Tom in Florida
Reply to  Max More
October 28, 2021 11:48 am

she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”

She jsut wants to be sure they are sponge worthy.

October 27, 2021 10:36 pm

I am not sure about the ‘Carbon” Guilt-Free Sex but there are certainly many Eco-Loons who would benefit from a re-training session in the nearest climate re-education facility proposed by Eric.

Rory Forbes
October 27, 2021 11:10 pm

What kind of raving degenerate thinks of this stuff? We’re lapsing into a dystopia of feminist gender studies majors applying their twisted delusions into every corner of our lives. I think the revolution is long overdue.

Charles Higley
Reply to  Eric Worrall
October 28, 2021 6:41 am

You have to understand that they think glaciology should be feminine because we talk about glacial and interglacial PERIODS. How could we possibly understand the ice age from a male point of view? Who needs more evidence than that.

Rory Forbes
Reply to  Eric Worrall
October 28, 2021 11:48 am

I warn you, those courses can be verrrry long and you need to bundle up well.

October 27, 2021 11:17 pm

Below is one solution: a person just has to toggle what they prefer & tell themselves it’s eco-free safe sex.

Alan M
Reply to  gringojay
October 27, 2021 11:36 pm

Are those switches in the on or off position ? Could be age dependent I guess

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Alan M
October 28, 2021 12:03 am

Well, in the USA, they’d be ‘on’. In the UK and Australia, they’d be ‘off’. Oddly, in many European countries they don’t follow a pattern, although they do in some.

Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
October 28, 2021 5:10 am

Could depend if they were using multi pole switches. I guess in that case they’d be position fluid?

Reply to  Spetzer86
October 28, 2021 2:03 pm

How long to Chinese made switches last??

Alan M
Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
October 28, 2021 5:48 am

Hence my question

Bryan A
Reply to  Alan M
October 28, 2021 6:14 am

They look rather “Turned On” to me

Ed Zuiderwijk
Reply to  gringojay
October 28, 2021 3:22 am

Do they bounce when touched?

October 27, 2021 11:22 pm

And yet she keeps a dog as a pet, an animal that, during its lifetime, emits twice as much CO2 as not one but two Toyota Landcruisers

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Redge
October 28, 2021 12:04 am

The exhaust of my Land Cruiser smells a lot better than the exhaust of my dog, I can tell you!

Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
October 28, 2021 8:35 am

Well stop feeding your dog diesel.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Redge
October 28, 2021 12:25 pm

Not to mention methane!

October 27, 2021 11:28 pm

I think the eco-loons are going to get a big shock when they eventually realise how many products contain fossil fuels. ‘Rabbits’ will be the least of their worries

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Beagle
October 28, 2021 12:05 am

Well, tests for STIs are out. Contraceptives are out.

Lauren is S Outta Luck….

Zig Zag Wanderer
October 27, 2021 11:52 pm

You won’t find condoms in Lauren’s jar and, as they are the only contraception effective against STIs, she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.

Oh, dear. Without carbon-based products you can’t have tests. Sorry, you have to go without or risk infection.

And there are no contraceptives that don’t use carbon-based products, either, so you’ll need to have lots of ankle-biters or go without too.

not having a child saves about 58.6 tonnes per year.

OK, no nookie at all for Lauren, unless perhaps she likes the seventy-less-one option, and will risk infection too.


Last edited 1 year ago by Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
October 28, 2021 7:21 am

I didn’t see it in the article, but lets say Lauren is 30. Since most women are physically capable of having children starting around 13 or 14, Lauren could have had 15 or 16 children. Assuming all would have been single births. Over the course of her fertility Lauren is going to avoid having at least 30 children. That’s enough to compensate for the Duggar’s.

Coeur de Lion
October 27, 2021 11:56 pm

It’s much nicer on grass as long as it’s not raining

Adam Gallon
October 27, 2021 11:56 pm

It’s not written by the delightful Miss Singer, but by  Dr Adenike Akinsemolu, an “environmental sustainability scientist” from Nigeria. who’ll doubtless be joining the rest of the party goers in Glasgow.

Reply to  Adam Gallon
October 28, 2021 12:53 am

Is he the guy that used to be a Nigerian Prince who needed your help to gain access to his inheritance? But I guess his new gig pays better – and he gets to visit Glasgow!

Reply to  decnine
October 28, 2021 11:52 am

What? You mean I don’t get my money from him?

Zig Zag Wanderer
October 27, 2021 11:59 pm

the implanted device could send a report to the climate police, so the government could assign the miscreant to the nearest climate re-education facility.

Look, I know this is all in jest, but be careful. You may give them ideas.

After all, 1984 was supposed to be a severe warning, and look where that got us, eh?

October 28, 2021 12:08 am

Doubtless Harriet enjoys a bit of Orrell sex

That’s low Carbon

October 28, 2021 12:25 am

The BBC must have a huge carbon footprint. Studios filled with t5housands of watts of lighting – camera chewing up power -outside broadcast trucks, massive silent diesel generators and a fleet of many vehicles. To save the planet the BBC should immediatley stop broadcasting 24 hours a day. To save the planet they should come on the air at 6pm for 4 hours. All studio productions must also stop – Tv productions should be limited to two productions a week and solar powered lights and camera should be used. The BBC is so busy lecturing people on saving the planet they ignore their huge carbon footprint and electricity usage – the size of a small African country

Peta of Newark
October 28, 2021 12:33 am

‘One’ really could wonder about the existence of a ‘God’

Addendum to my previous raving and while composing same, this little nugget was newly-arrived in my Inbox.
here – is what’s wrong with Lauren
(Girls need testosterone just as much as boys but, because they make so little of their own, they gotta look after what they have got)

At least Lauren got one thing right (slide 9 of that little show)

You know me, what do all the other slides tell you…
That slide-show is a catalogue of Soil Erosion and Roundup Poisoning.

*THAT* is where all the babies went
(Science, education, politics and especially ‘Empathy’ = the understanding of others, all went with them)

edit to PS
and is THE ROOT CAUSE of most Covid fatalities

Last edited 1 year ago by Peta of Newark
October 28, 2021 1:01 am

Totally OT, but for UK residents …

Reply to  3x2
October 28, 2021 2:29 am

Sounds great, right?

The petition thing is their way of containing dissenting views

Get 100,000 signatures and the snouts in the trough will discuss it; no more. Can you honestly see Parliament giving the people another referendum after the mauling it got at the last one?

Who can you see voting for it in the House?

Reply to  fretslider
October 28, 2021 11:58 am

A referendum? Not a chance in H3ll I would support one, it would be stitched up as tightly as the 2020 US election.

What’s needed is for everyone to pile in following the inevitable failure of COP26 and make damn sure Boris understands that NetZero is a complete non starter in the UK.

You only have to go to the comments section of any MSM publication to understand what the mood of the country is about his hair brained scheme.

It needs buried, not voted on.

Right-Handed Shark
Reply to  3x2
October 28, 2021 4:40 am

I have signed it, but I doubt it will do anything to distract the politicians from their ruinous climate policies.

Eric Vieira
October 28, 2021 1:11 am

Sound a bit like Zappa’s “Let’s make the water turn black” and Kenny’s little creatures on display … in jars.

October 28, 2021 1:12 am

So, that is where Joanna Lumley got her nasty opinions…

As the technology is developed a device could conceivably eventually be produced which could be implanted into your head, “

Brought to you by radical leftists! An utterly useless device that programs your mind or snitches to the police and all of the information/words proving a person guilty…

Lovely, an utterly useless for humanity device, how very despotic government of them.

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  ATheoK
October 28, 2021 1:15 am

That was a sarcastic comment by Eric Worrall…

another ian
October 28, 2021 2:00 am

The joke about what you would do with a 365 day collection of condoms comes to mind here

oeman 50
Reply to  another ian
October 28, 2021 7:50 am

Recycling condoms? Eww! No thank you.

Reminds me of the joke where a soldier comes in to the drugstore to have a condom repaired. The druggist recommends a new one. The solder goes out and returns later, saying, “You’re in luck man, the regiment has decided to replace!”

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  oeman 50
October 28, 2021 12:33 pm

The way I heard the joke, from a colleague named McDonald, was that it was a Scottish regiment.

Abolition Man
October 28, 2021 2:25 am

Is her jar left over from counting all the jelly beans?
I SO do not want to meet this young woman! She reminds me of all the nasty aspects of the fairer sex I discovered while working as a bartender! At least now I’m fully trained for Congress!

Peter Wells
Reply to  Abolition Man
October 28, 2021 5:27 am

I found my wife at a fraternity party. Instead of going to the bar where the free drinks were, I headed to the dance floor and checked out the girls who were watching the dancing.

Abolition Man
Reply to  Peter Wells
October 28, 2021 11:10 am

Many religious sects try to prevent extramarital sex as it is known to lead to dancing!

Alasdair Fairbairn
October 28, 2021 2:36 am

Oh Dear! We are scraping the barrel here, are we not?

October 28, 2021 2:38 am

So long as the ecopaths stop breeding we will achieve nerd immunity and be saved.

The next faction to break away from Extinction Rebellion will be called Masturbate Britain, their manifesto will be The Joy of Green Sex…_

Matt Dalby
Reply to  DiggerUK
October 28, 2021 8:21 am

Even masturbating isn’t always environmentally friendly.
I remember reading an article last year about how to save the planet when self isolating. One of the suggestions was for blokes to have a wank sock to clean up with afterwards rather than using toilet paper which can’t then be recycled.
This isn’t a joke someone actually wrote an article for a site called Ecohustler that included the wank sock idea. I’m pretty sure it’s Sadly I couldn’t access the article to make sure I’ve got the right one.
If nothing else these idiots are good for a laugh.

Matt Dalby
Reply to  Matt Dalby
October 28, 2021 11:57 am

For some reason the article referred to above has disappeared from the ecohustler website, did they realise how ridiculuse it made them look?
The link above simply comes up with a blank page, however the article is genuine and is available on the wayback machine, although it refers to a spunk rag rather than wank sock.

Tom Abbott
October 28, 2021 3:14 am

From the article: “You won’t find condoms in Lauren’s jar and, as they are the only contraception effective against STIs, she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”

Practical, but not very romantic.

Things are going nicely, and then Lauren calls a halt to it, and tells her partner the rest is postponed until after the Doctor’s results are in.

Her partners should probably be notified of her requirements in advance, and when they show up with a Doctor’s permission slip, then they won’t have to interrrupt their activities right in the middle of it all.

But what are we going to do about fake Doctor’s permission slips? That might be a problem.

Patrick healy
Reply to  Tom Abbott
October 28, 2021 5:55 am

Could you not add it to one of those Chinese Communist Flu Vexine Phone apps?

Ed Zuiderwijk
October 28, 2021 3:19 am

Haha. Roaring laughter is a sane response.

The only rule with those toys is simple. Only use batteries, never the mains.

Rod Evans
October 28, 2021 3:35 am

I had to I check the date, no it is not April 1st.?
How will we ever be able to maintain the fun of that day when stories this crazy are now actual true stories?
is nothing sacred anymore.

Reply to  Eric Worrall
October 28, 2021 2:38 pm

And Not The Bee was recently suspended from Twitter for accurately reporting a story (don’t recall what)

John Endicott
Reply to  TonyG
November 2, 2021 10:01 am

They got banned for reporting on the banning of another account over called a biological male, a biological male.

In the same week we were suspended from Twitter, Twitter claimed that it favors rightwing voices on its platform | Not the Bee

So let’s get this straight. Our account was banned. For reporting that another account was banned. And the reason for the original account being banned was for suggesting that Rachel Levine – who was born a man – is a man. Which violates the rules of Newspeak, my friends.”

October 28, 2021 3:43 am

Hmmm. I’m all for Free Sex even if it comes with Carbon Guilt.

Joe Public
October 28, 2021 4:53 am

Naturally, DIY has the lowest climate impact, but excessive panting during orgasn will increase personal CO2 emission.

October 28, 2021 7:12 am

Anyone worried about the planet when they are about to have sex has more to worry about than the planet, mainly themselves. And someone about to have sex with the worry wort should be concerned because they tend to be unsanitary saving the trees and all.

Andy Pattullo
October 28, 2021 7:28 am

Hilarious. Won’t use condoms because “bad for nature” but get a whole lot of lab tests with all the attendant chemicals, processes and energy requirements – that’s OK because I can’t actually see the resources being used. If you sleep with this woman do whatever you can to ensure she doesn’t have offspring. Our collective intelligence can’t deal with the outcome.

Reply to  Andy Pattullo
October 28, 2021 11:03 am

The payments you would be making would only be sustainable for her.

John Endicott
Reply to  Andy Pattullo
November 2, 2021 10:07 am

I’d also suggest making sure there are no sharp implements within her reach, You never know when she might decide that saving the planet requires a “sacrifice” from you of something you don’t wish to part with. (John Wayne Bobbitt can tell you all about how that’ll feel). She probably even has a jar already prepared for it.

Last edited 1 year ago by John Endicott
October 28, 2021 8:12 am

“Lambskin condoms, which have been used since Roman times”

Reminds me of a Dana Carvey Grumpy Old man sketch.

In my day we didn’t have fancy latex condoms. We wrapped it up in lambskin. They didn’t work and you couldn’t feel a thing AND WE LIKED IT.

Reply to  dmanfred
October 28, 2021 8:44 am

I hear that Kiwi shepherds like to try out the lambskin condoms before they’ve been removed from the lambs.

“Fresh Is Best”

Ian Smith
October 28, 2021 8:19 am

What is the carbon footprint of organising, travelling to, and utilising STD sample collection and analysis products compared to a gram or so of mass produced latex?

Phil O'Sophical
October 28, 2021 9:22 am

Surely this is another of Peter Boghossian’s spoofs.

John Bell
October 28, 2021 9:47 am

Sure is telling…the things about which these leftist obsess. They always preach a narrative that they rarely practice.

Geoffrey Williams
October 28, 2021 1:56 pm

Naturally we would call this ‘Orrell’ sex . . .

Matt Dalby
October 28, 2021 7:14 pm

Surely the best way for Lauren to enjoy carbon neutral sex is for her to become a lesbian.
No need to worry about the carbon footprint of birth control, and presumably the risk of catching an STD is miniscule, so she wouldn’t need to worry about contraception or her partners having a carbon positive test.
If she can’t take that one positive step then she isn’t completely committed to the cause she claims to believe in and we should ignore her hypocratic rantings.

Andy H
October 29, 2021 1:40 am

The BBC have a “Special Disinformation Reporter”. I have no problem with them working out what is real and false information. However, when that person is an ex-Guardian leftie, I am not sure we will be getting a fair interpretation on what is truth and lies. According to the BBC’s Trending podcast they have a whole team of people looking at “disinformation”.

The BBC also got into bed with one of the American news providers (CBS in 2017, replacing ABC which they did a deal with in 1994) so it is no surprise that the BBC’s American news looks like their coverage.

John Endicott
Reply to  Andy H
November 2, 2021 10:09 am

I think you misunderstand their role. “The Special Disinformation Reporter” isn’t there to find the false information, they’re there to create it.

Quilter 52
October 29, 2021 4:56 am

I would like to encourage more BBC programs like this. If they work successfully, then the reproduction rate of morons will Decreased markedly. This is a win-win for all of us.

John Endicott
November 2, 2021 9:54 am

Lauren Singer looks pretty attractive, “

only on the outside. Seems pretty ugly on the inside, IMO.

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