Friday Funny: The Miss Climate Beauty Pageant (no, really)

From the “♪ There she is, misssss climatology… ♫” department. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Dr. Roy Spencer advises me of this:

The president of our university forwarded some flashy brochures he received from Virendra Rawat, Indian founder and director of the global “Green Schools” concept. They are auditioning for young females to compete to become “Miss Climate – 2018”.

As the letter states, “winners of this beauty pageant will serve as Global Ambassador of Climate Change”:

Dr. Spencer asks some hilarious questions:

QUESTIONS:

1) Can contestants self-identify as female, 18-25, and of minimum height 5’5″ tall?

2) Is the former IPCC director Rajendra Pachauri involved in this in any way? It sounds like something he’d have some interest in.

3) Will the contestants’ knowledge of global environmental concerns be up to the standards of, say, the world peace concerns of the Miss America contestants?

4) Given the global warming theme, will there be a — ahem — heat level requirement of some type for contestants?

5) Will Anthony Watts enter his dog Kenji in the competition? (At least Kenji is a card-carrying member of the Union of Concerned Scientists).

Perhaps I should, he’s got the hair for it:

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Nylo
July 27, 2018 9:47 am

Go Kenji go!

shrnfr
Reply to  Nylo
July 27, 2018 11:25 am

I can’t wait for the bathing suit competition. Oh, never mind…

Sharpshooter
Reply to  shrnfr
July 27, 2018 2:01 pm

For the Miss Hydrogen Dioxide pageant? 🙂

Hivemind
Reply to  Sharpshooter
July 27, 2018 5:12 pm

Perhaps you meant dihydrogen monoxide?

Reply to  Hivemind
July 28, 2018 11:21 am

Oxidane

Ian L. McQueen
Reply to  Hivemind
July 28, 2018 12:03 pm

(For Hivemind and many others): dihydrogen oxide [both “di” and “mono” are counters and are not both used for the same compound]

Phaedrus
Reply to  shrnfr
July 27, 2018 2:08 pm

Far to hot for suits!

Henning Nielsen
Reply to  shrnfr
July 27, 2018 4:27 pm

Give a dying Polar Bear a chance of a last meaty meal.

Joel Snider
July 27, 2018 9:51 am

Well, if it’s exclusively for green chicks, we could get William Shatner to judge.

Latitude
Reply to  Joel Snider
July 27, 2018 10:33 am

….they were just preaching that was sexist

ossqss
Reply to  Joel Snider
July 27, 2018 11:02 am

comment image

Latitude
Reply to  ossqss
July 27, 2018 11:50 am

LOL…..

ossqss
Reply to  Joel Snider
July 27, 2018 11:13 am

comment image

Joel Snider
Reply to  ossqss
July 27, 2018 12:13 pm

Not exactly Yvonne Craig, but probably still counts.

eyesonu
Reply to  ossqss
July 27, 2018 2:29 pm

There’s a pecker on that green chick!

Ian Magness
July 27, 2018 9:52 am

I’m sorry but it’s a no-brainer. Climate Barby of Canada is a shoo-in

Reply to  Ian Magness
July 27, 2018 10:11 am

The one who rides a bicycle with high heels?

Ian Magness
Reply to  John of Cloverdale, WA, Australia
July 27, 2018 10:33 am

Go take a cold shower John..

Jeff Labute
Reply to  John of Cloverdale, WA, Australia
July 27, 2018 10:47 am

Yes, the same one. It’s embarrassing. 2019 election can’t come soon enough. Catherine McKenna who stated she has no time for any Canadian who does not share her vision.

Reply to  Jeff Labute
July 27, 2018 12:01 pm

Baby’s got back …. bacon.

MarkW
Reply to  Jeff Labute
July 27, 2018 2:52 pm

Kind of like Obama declaring that he was only president of those people who support him.

Komrade Kuma
Reply to  John of Cloverdale, WA, Australia
July 27, 2018 12:39 pm

I think that’s the Canadian PM. Surely. He likes to play dress ups too.

Reply to  Ian Magness
July 27, 2018 10:05 pm

Barbie.

unless you mean the BBQ kind.

Sparky
July 27, 2018 9:52 am

Ut oh,.. they’re converting me. In the old days,.. the socialists got all the girls. My red flag only helped a little. (Guess I wasn’t chanting correctly).

Jim Whelan
Reply to  Sparky
July 28, 2018 10:17 am

Are you sure you were wearing that red flag properly?

Ron Long
July 27, 2018 9:53 am

Although I would vote for Kenji I can’t help but hope the contestants dress for really hot weather in the contest. Really now, who made this up? Dr. Roy? Anthony? Kenji?

colin smith
July 27, 2018 9:53 am

Does the Guardian know about this?

Gary Ashe
Reply to  colin smith
July 27, 2018 6:15 pm

Yeah Toynby on crash diet.

Moderately Cross of East Anglia
July 27, 2018 9:55 am

Your dog would be rightly offended if you entered him for this barking mad nonsense. More insanity is the line about the “winner” being our global climate ambassador. To what? The inhabitants of the planet Drongobrains or the court of Ming the Merciless?

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more crass and moronic…

Marcus
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
July 27, 2018 10:17 am

“Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more crass and moronic…”

TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrom) is at Peak Stupidity”

You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet !!

Moderately Cross of East Anglia
Reply to  Marcus
July 27, 2018 3:31 pm

Marcus – I fear you are all too right. The incessant bile and hatred directed at Trump by the rabid BBC is becoming truly deranged. There is literally nothing for which he can be given any credit without instantly being tagged with a negative twist, usually insulting everyone who has any connection with him.
Yet today we see the sad remains of American servicemen who were killed in the Korean War being returned at long last to their home. And the hope of better things to follow from his direct approach of talking to enemies. If this had been achieved by anyone else they would – rightly- have been lauded for it.
Increasingly I think the media, especially the BBC, fails to understand how much they are being held in contempt by the audience which they think is naturally supportive of them. I often find myself surprised at the range of people who have really poor opinions of the BBC and their allegedly “liberal” ilk.

Gary Ashe
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
July 27, 2018 6:18 pm

Cuntural Marxists.

simple-touriste
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
July 28, 2018 6:25 pm

Even the French serious “conservative” newspaper, Le Figaro, is full anti-Trump. Just as in almost every other news source, the most insignificant news is repeated if it’s anti Trump (French TV news channels discussed “Melania Trump plagiarized speech” for TWO WEEKS) but anything that reflects badly on anti Trump people is not even discussed (not a word on TV on the baseball attack, and these “journalists” love to discuss gun deaths in the US). In general I can predict whether a very important news will be aired: does it reflect badly on Trump? Yes. On conservatives that aren’t anti-Trump? No. Even in the peek of #metoo and Hollywood harassment “revelations”, the sexual harassment settlements House scandal was not even mentioned (while completely unrelated cases of alleged harassment in other countries, or even vaguely described “sexism” were discussed).

So when Le Figaro mentions good economic results, of course it’s an happy accident: Croissance : la conjoncture sourit à Donald Trump (Literally: Growth: conjoncture smiles at Donald Trump)

http://www.lefigaro.fr/conjoncture/2018/07/27/20002-20180727ARTFIG00239-croissance-la-conjoncture-sourit-a-donald-trump.php

July 27, 2018 9:56 am

Beauty ?! Female?! Poise?!

Racist, sexist, intolerant, prejudice. What more can I say. This contest has some “cirrus” problems.

Curious George
July 27, 2018 9:57 am

How about a Mister Climate 2018 beauty pageant? I nominate the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.

Ian Magness
Reply to  Curious George
July 27, 2018 9:59 am

Great idea George. Michael Mann for me!
Then we will need a few LGBT + allies, non-binary competitions too.

Sharpshooter
Reply to  Ian Magness
July 27, 2018 1:58 pm

63 different pageants, one for each gender/species.

Michael Jankowski
Reply to  Ian Magness
July 27, 2018 5:18 pm

Even if Mann didn’t win, he’d probably claim that he did

Gary Ashe
Reply to  Michael Jankowski
July 27, 2018 6:21 pm

Yeah but only in court.

Alasdair
July 27, 2018 10:00 am

Will manipulation of statistics be permitted?

Ian Magness
Reply to  Alasdair
July 27, 2018 10:01 am

Of course. Goes without saying.

John Endicott
Reply to  Alasdair
July 27, 2018 10:58 am

of course, after homogenization all measurements will be 36-22-36

“Well, that’s just the atomic weight of sodium hydrochloride”

shrnfr
Reply to  John Endicott
July 27, 2018 11:27 am

Stop being so caustic with your comments.

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  shrnfr
July 27, 2018 1:04 pm

I love chemical puns, periodically.

Barbara
Reply to  Alasdair
July 27, 2018 5:16 pm

Hell, no – that will be required

honest liberty
July 27, 2018 10:00 am

As long as they don’t usher in the typical fem types that go for this nonsense, you know the Rachel Maddow’s of the world. Somehow, I doubt they will be highly attractive specimen

honest liberty
Reply to  honest liberty
July 27, 2018 10:02 am

furthermore, their hypocrisy knows no bounds. They have been propping up morbidly obese types as beautiful and amazing, yet they choose a gorgeous woman for the insert. I could have sworn the prototypical humanoid they cherish is the androgenous tomboything…

looks like they are being chauvinist…hmmm. And here I thought they were supposed to be consistent in their worldview. I should have known better, silly me.

Reply to  honest liberty
July 27, 2018 10:18 am

They are consistent. They just lie about what it is.

GeologyJim
July 27, 2018 10:02 am

If they are really looking for a spokesperson to raise awareness about a “Global Zero Carbon Lifestyle brand”, what is the relevance of gender? of beauty? I’m confused at this blatant stereotyping!!

I’d vote first for a block of ice – about as close to “Zero Carbon” as one can get, and it’ll be gone in a day

Gary Ashe
Reply to  GeologyJim
July 27, 2018 6:28 pm

No it isn’t.

This socialism, one lovely thick as brick bird gets to get a proper none job, and tour the globe, maybe even give a little head to the climate trouble shooter, i forget his name, but the guy that sank the titanic.

J Mac
July 27, 2018 10:04 am

Whooo Boy!
Climate models… tipping points….. Hot n gettin Hotter!
J. Geils Band – Centerfold
https://youtu.be/BqDjMZKf-wg

Reply to  J Mac
July 27, 2018 1:37 pm

Only you just will not like the judges selected from the most alarmist activists.

Snowman shaped with mostly bald heads and fuzzy sparse goatees.

J Mac
Reply to  ATheoK
July 27, 2018 3:34 pm

The latest socialist heart throb in the USA…. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
comment image

NW Sage
Reply to  J Mac
July 27, 2018 8:09 pm

We could probably get Anthony to sponsor a centerfold competition (how do you put a centerfold in a website??) so we can chose who we would submit as our favorite candidate.
YEA!!!

ossqss
July 27, 2018 10:06 am

Hummm, self identify?

comment image

James Allen
July 27, 2018 10:07 am

Clearly not tall enough! 🙂

Scute
July 27, 2018 10:08 am

Apparently 118 models entered but none of them projected what the judges were looking for.

Martin457
July 27, 2018 10:09 am

A Climate Miss? Happens all the time.

MarkW
Reply to  Martin457
July 27, 2018 2:54 pm

Climate, Miss?
Isn’t that just south of Jackson?

mark from the midwest
July 27, 2018 10:10 am

OK, it’s almost 1pm here, the tourists have already been involved in several severe car crashes, and the weather is gloomy, classic Lake Michigan overcast

this article was enough to put me over the edge …. thanks Dr. Spencer…

Houses of the Holy, original vinyl, cranked to 11, I’m breaking out the good dark rum, got about a dozen tenderloins … anyone here by 6 gets cocktails and steak.

Just fly into TVC, head west on South Airport to Silver Lake Road, get to Long Lake Road, and Long Lake grocery, ask for Nick, he can tell you where the party is at.

Mark

Chris in Hervey Bay
Reply to  mark from the midwest
July 27, 2018 10:29 am

Found the Long Lake grocery on Google earth ok, problem is, the 30 trip from Australia !
Oh well..

David Chappell
Reply to  Chris in Hervey Bay
July 27, 2018 4:13 pm

Easy, simply adjust the flight time.

Reply to  Chris in Hervey Bay
July 28, 2018 6:00 am

Get on a fast plane, fly west, you can arrive before you leave. Bring a little Aussie weather to really heat the party up.

Marcus
July 27, 2018 10:11 am

“Worms alive after being frozen for nearly 42,000 years”
OMG, we have to put with the liberal left for 42,000 years ?

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5814689894001/?#sp=show-clips
Kenji…. Please save us !! (peeing on “paid protesters”left leg is a good start !!

-Actually, with a face like that, they will probably pee on their own leg !

GO KENJI !!

Editor
July 27, 2018 10:12 am

Does Kenji self-identify as female?

JohnWho
July 27, 2018 10:16 am

“They are auditioning for young females…”

Um, sorry, i’m all in as long as they are “of age”.

/grin

John Schwartz
July 27, 2018 10:16 am

Algore should enter….

Auto
Reply to  John Schwartz
July 27, 2018 2:23 pm

John,
Algore already has his/her name inscribed on the Trophy, I assume!

Ideal opportunity to show that neither age nor circumference could stop a – human – becoming Miss Climate 2018. Self-identifying, for the moment – as female shouldn’t be a problem for the Sainted Albert.

Auto [not entering – even if I approach Albert in Circumference!]

July 27, 2018 10:20 am

Here are the basic contest rules:

* All contestants MUST be hot — not just a little hot — but the hottest of the hottest, to symbolize “the hottest years on record”.

* And, yes, all contestants MUST be born female, … to reflect the most popular gender association with Earth, as in “Mother Earth”. In other words, contestants MUST mirror the mothering potential of the planet; hence, sorry, fellas, you’re out.

* The winner MUST receive a MINIMUM of 97% agreement of the contest judges.

* Judges’ score cards MUST be located away from any biasing heat sources, just to symbolize the purity (giggle) of climate data collection process.

* Contestants may wear ONLY minimal clothing, to reveal their total hotness and to symbolize the dire state of how hot the future world will get.

* Contest scores WILL be allowed to be manipulated, depending on who agrees to sleep with whom. This is perfectly acceptable in this contest, as it mirrors reality most truthfully.

* Each contestant must submit a paper to either NATURE or SCIENCE — no worries, they’ll publish anything.

Richard M
Reply to  Robert Kernodle
July 27, 2018 12:05 pm

I guess the first 3 rules leaves out Naomi ….

D. J. Hawkins
Reply to  Richard M
July 28, 2018 11:25 am

Have you seen the family line up? I’d rather date the brother.

Ill Tempered Klavier
Reply to  Robert Kernodle
July 27, 2018 12:52 pm

Wow, I invoke “The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline” to nominate myself as I was is the days when I made my living “banging the keys” in gar(b)age bands.

HOT: A certain guitar player who shall remain nameless dubbed me “Princess Pokerhotass.” and in them days, I was considered, ahem, “stacked.” The older I get, the better I looked 🙂

Born female: Yep, and about as “noble savage” native as it gets these days. I only have a couple of stray Russians and Norwegians in my family tree to apologize for.

Yes, I’ll be able to get 97% agreement out of any wimp likely to be a judge 😉

score cards away from biasing heat sources: That’s OK. I can adjust them with Waldos.

ONLY minimal clothing: Many of my stage outfits qualified as minimal, and all natural too, mostly buckskin and feathers.

Scores manipulated depending on who agrees to sleep with whom: Unlike many notable warmistas, I have a few tiny hangups about just what I am willing to do in exchange for honors and awards so I may have to use those Waldos a little more than I intended.

submit a paper to Nature or Science: My paper on the effect of salmon berry harvest on spawning chinook salmon returns is definitive.

Aren’t I the perfect candidate?? 😉 😉

Kat

John Darrow
Reply to  Ill Tempered Klavier
July 27, 2018 1:33 pm

Can I vote more than once?

Auto
Reply to  John Darrow
July 27, 2018 2:25 pm

John,
It’s vote Early. Vote Often.

Auto

Ill Tempered Klavier
Reply to  Auto
July 28, 2018 1:53 pm

All Chicagoans born after 1792 vote. 100% of those born before 1908 vote democratic. 🙂 🙂

Jeff Alberts
Reply to  Ill Tempered Klavier
July 27, 2018 9:39 pm

Nice Asimov reference.

Ill Tempered Klavier
Reply to  Jeff Alberts
July 28, 2018 1:57 pm

Ol’ Dr. A. dreamed up such wonderful things. I’m a bit sorry I mentioned the stuff though: now all the warmistas are looking for a source so they can fix that embarassing lag of CO2 behind temperature. 😉 😉

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Robert Kernodle
July 27, 2018 4:23 pm

Robert Kernodle,

Will the winner receive an all-expense paid tour in the company of Rajendra Pachauri?

Barbara
Reply to  Clyde Spencer
July 27, 2018 5:20 pm

Gawd, I hope not.

Sheri
July 27, 2018 10:20 am

They should have at least five or six contestants.

ResourceGuy
July 27, 2018 10:24 am

A warning label needs to be applied after the sexual abuse of former IPCC director Rajendra Pachauri.

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