Friday Funny: The Miss Climate Beauty Pageant (no, really)

From the “♪ There she is, misssss climatology… ♫” department. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Dr. Roy Spencer advises me of this:

The president of our university forwarded some flashy brochures he received from Virendra Rawat, Indian founder and director of the global “Green Schools” concept. They are auditioning for young females to compete to become “Miss Climate – 2018”.

As the letter states, “winners of this beauty pageant will serve as Global Ambassador of Climate Change”:

Dr. Spencer asks some hilarious questions:

QUESTIONS:

1) Can contestants self-identify as female, 18-25, and of minimum height 5’5″ tall?

2) Is the former IPCC director Rajendra Pachauri involved in this in any way? It sounds like something he’d have some interest in.

3) Will the contestants’ knowledge of global environmental concerns be up to the standards of, say, the world peace concerns of the Miss America contestants?

4) Given the global warming theme, will there be a — ahem — heat level requirement of some type for contestants?

5) Will Anthony Watts enter his dog Kenji in the competition? (At least Kenji is a card-carrying member of the Union of Concerned Scientists).

Perhaps I should, he’s got the hair for it:

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150 thoughts on “Friday Funny: The Miss Climate Beauty Pageant (no, really)

  1. Ut oh,.. they’re converting me. In the old days,.. the socialists got all the girls. My red flag only helped a little. (Guess I wasn’t chanting correctly).

  2. Although I would vote for Kenji I can’t help but hope the contestants dress for really hot weather in the contest. Really now, who made this up? Dr. Roy? Anthony? Kenji?

  3. Your dog would be rightly offended if you entered him for this barking mad nonsense. More insanity is the line about the “winner” being our global climate ambassador. To what? The inhabitants of the planet Drongobrains or the court of Ming the Merciless?

    Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more crass and moronic…

    • “Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more crass and moronic…”

      TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrom) is at Peak Stupidity”

      You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet !!

      • Marcus – I fear you are all too right. The incessant bile and hatred directed at Trump by the rabid BBC is becoming truly deranged. There is literally nothing for which he can be given any credit without instantly being tagged with a negative twist, usually insulting everyone who has any connection with him.
        Yet today we see the sad remains of American servicemen who were killed in the Korean War being returned at long last to their home. And the hope of better things to follow from his direct approach of talking to enemies. If this had been achieved by anyone else they would – rightly- have been lauded for it.
        Increasingly I think the media, especially the BBC, fails to understand how much they are being held in contempt by the audience which they think is naturally supportive of them. I often find myself surprised at the range of people who have really poor opinions of the BBC and their allegedly “liberal” ilk.

        • Even the French serious “conservative” newspaper, Le Figaro, is full anti-Trump. Just as in almost every other news source, the most insignificant news is repeated if it’s anti Trump (French TV news channels discussed “Melania Trump plagiarized speech” for TWO WEEKS) but anything that reflects badly on anti Trump people is not even discussed (not a word on TV on the baseball attack, and these “journalists” love to discuss gun deaths in the US). In general I can predict whether a very important news will be aired: does it reflect badly on Trump? Yes. On conservatives that aren’t anti-Trump? No. Even in the peek of #metoo and Hollywood harassment “revelations”, the sexual harassment settlements House scandal was not even mentioned (while completely unrelated cases of alleged harassment in other countries, or even vaguely described “sexism” were discussed).

          So when Le Figaro mentions good economic results, of course it’s an happy accident: Croissance : la conjoncture sourit à Donald Trump (Literally: Growth: conjoncture smiles at Donald Trump)

          http://www.lefigaro.fr/conjoncture/2018/07/27/20002-20180727ARTFIG00239-croissance-la-conjoncture-sourit-a-donald-trump.php

  4. How about a Mister Climate 2018 beauty pageant? I nominate the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.

  5. As long as they don’t usher in the typical fem types that go for this nonsense, you know the Rachel Maddow’s of the world. Somehow, I doubt they will be highly attractive specimen

    • furthermore, their hypocrisy knows no bounds. They have been propping up morbidly obese types as beautiful and amazing, yet they choose a gorgeous woman for the insert. I could have sworn the prototypical humanoid they cherish is the androgenous tomboything…

      looks like they are being chauvinist…hmmm. And here I thought they were supposed to be consistent in their worldview. I should have known better, silly me.

  6. If they are really looking for a spokesperson to raise awareness about a “Global Zero Carbon Lifestyle brand”, what is the relevance of gender? of beauty? I’m confused at this blatant stereotyping!!

    I’d vote first for a block of ice – about as close to “Zero Carbon” as one can get, and it’ll be gone in a day

    • No it isn’t.

      This socialism, one lovely thick as brick bird gets to get a proper none job, and tour the globe, maybe even give a little head to the climate trouble shooter, i forget his name, but the guy that sank the titanic.

  7. OK, it’s almost 1pm here, the tourists have already been involved in several severe car crashes, and the weather is gloomy, classic Lake Michigan overcast

    this article was enough to put me over the edge …. thanks Dr. Spencer…

    Houses of the Holy, original vinyl, cranked to 11, I’m breaking out the good dark rum, got about a dozen tenderloins … anyone here by 6 gets cocktails and steak.

    Just fly into TVC, head west on South Airport to Silver Lake Road, get to Long Lake Road, and Long Lake grocery, ask for Nick, he can tell you where the party is at.

    Mark

  8. “They are auditioning for young females…”

    Um, sorry, i’m all in as long as they are “of age”.

    /grin

    • John,
      Algore already has his/her name inscribed on the Trophy, I assume!

      Ideal opportunity to show that neither age nor circumference could stop a – human – becoming Miss Climate 2018. Self-identifying, for the moment – as female shouldn’t be a problem for the Sainted Albert.

      Auto [not entering – even if I approach Albert in Circumference!]

  9. Here are the basic contest rules:

    * All contestants MUST be hot — not just a little hot — but the hottest of the hottest, to symbolize “the hottest years on record”.

    * And, yes, all contestants MUST be born female, … to reflect the most popular gender association with Earth, as in “Mother Earth”. In other words, contestants MUST mirror the mothering potential of the planet; hence, sorry, fellas, you’re out.

    * The winner MUST receive a MINIMUM of 97% agreement of the contest judges.

    * Judges’ score cards MUST be located away from any biasing heat sources, just to symbolize the purity (giggle) of climate data collection process.

    * Contestants may wear ONLY minimal clothing, to reveal their total hotness and to symbolize the dire state of how hot the future world will get.

    * Contest scores WILL be allowed to be manipulated, depending on who agrees to sleep with whom. This is perfectly acceptable in this contest, as it mirrors reality most truthfully.

    * Each contestant must submit a paper to either NATURE or SCIENCE — no worries, they’ll publish anything.

    • Wow, I invoke “The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline” to nominate myself as I was is the days when I made my living “banging the keys” in gar(b)age bands.

      HOT: A certain guitar player who shall remain nameless dubbed me “Princess Pokerhotass.” and in them days, I was considered, ahem, “stacked.” The older I get, the better I looked 🙂

      Born female: Yep, and about as “noble savage” native as it gets these days. I only have a couple of stray Russians and Norwegians in my family tree to apologize for.

      Yes, I’ll be able to get 97% agreement out of any wimp likely to be a judge 😉

      score cards away from biasing heat sources: That’s OK. I can adjust them with Waldos.

      ONLY minimal clothing: Many of my stage outfits qualified as minimal, and all natural too, mostly buckskin and feathers.

      Scores manipulated depending on who agrees to sleep with whom: Unlike many notable warmistas, I have a few tiny hangups about just what I am willing to do in exchange for honors and awards so I may have to use those Waldos a little more than I intended.

      submit a paper to Nature or Science: My paper on the effect of salmon berry harvest on spawning chinook salmon returns is definitive.

      Aren’t I the perfect candidate?? 😉 😉

      Kat

    • Robert Kernodle,

      Will the winner receive an all-expense paid tour in the company of Rajendra Pachauri?

  10. A warning label needs to be applied after the sexual abuse of former IPCC director Rajendra Pachauri.

  11. Can we expect to hear in depth analysis like such:

    “I personally believe that U. S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such …”

    • Well, now if you think about it the use of “U.S. Americans” by that beauty contestant was in fact a very accurate description of what she was talking about. She was made the butt of jokes for saying it, but I would have voted for her to be the winner because she was the best looking one of the bunch! 🙂

  12. Let’s hope these Climate Models resemble reality.

    Will swimsuits be part of the contest?

  13. 1) Can contestants self-identify as female, 18-25, and of minimum height 5’5″ tall?

    That is a fairly broad category in today’s world of gender choice.
    Just sayin’….

    • It’s discriminatory if old, short contestants can “self-identify” as 18-25 and over 5’5″ tall.

  14. Will there also be a Miss deplor-able denihilist and what would she look like? Will they fight to the death with hockey sticks?

  15. NO BIKINI COMPETITION!!!
    (and Anthony, please put some clothes on that contestant, I’m offended, especially as a former member of the Union of Concerned Scientists… who for the most part, should not be seen in bikinis anyway)

    • One of the competitions they will have is the FOIA Dodge Ball Event. Contestants will stand in the middle of a circle and try to dodge FOIA balls thrown by the CEI and the Heartland Institute.

    • “Beauty isn’t about looking perfect”….”it is about respecting the climate around you”

      But wait……ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA (from the picture):
      Age = 18-25 (the younger you are the better, “legal” of course)
      Status = Unmarried (because that is important to Climate?)
      Height = 5’5 MINIMUM (Short chicks need not apply)
      Education = 10+2 minimum (so you can count to twelve or possibly higher?)
      Nationality = UN holder (so you can travel the world on a plane)

      My my, there is not one eligibility criteria mentioned that RESPECTS the climate, SUCH AS A LOW F’N CARBON FOOT PRINT. You cannot make this stuff up.

  16. I don’t see why Kenji can’t identify as a young female human.

    If gender identity is socially determined, how can species identity claim privilege?

    SJW, inc.ᵀᴹ needs to step up to species-imperialism and the abusers pushing transspeciesphobia.

    Biology: the next target of post-modern subjectivist attack.

  17. I try to stay abreast of what is politically correct but this is confusing. I though climate change was a feminist issue. Are beauty pageants a feminist institution now? I must have misread something somewhere but I thought they were on the “bad, no cookie for you” list.

    • The phrase, “stay abreast”, is clearly sexist, Andy P. The gender-neutral alternative is “stay achest”.

      Also, physical beauty is relative and culturally determined. Swim-suit standards are plainly prejudicial, therefore. What counts is the beauty inside, … the person inside.

      The appearance of the person outside has nothing whatsoever to do with the … “person inside”. There’s this amorphous, ghost-like entity floating underneath our physical skin, TOTALLY disconnected from the physicality that our primitive senses register. I cannot yet prove this, because I have not yet assembled the necessary synthetic supporting data. I’m working on a grant to rectify this shortcoming, as I type.

    • Has anyone asked the feminist glaciologists their opinion of this? Or are they all signed up to be contestants?

      How incredibly un-PC.

      • First, I’d say “Has anyone asked the feminist glaciologists their opinion of this?” is the thread winner (as of the time of this comment).

        Second, I’d guess they’re having a cow about now.

        (Glaciers calve and all that.)

  18. “competing on beauty and knowledge of environmental issues”

    Words can only fail. Especially when facts will not be in evidence.

  19. BELIEVE…ACHIEVE…
    Just like the hokey preachers and mystics (but I repeat myself) of long (or not so long) ago,

  20. Kenji doesn’t look too happy about suggestions that he participate in such a contest. He may be short but he’s above such things.

    Give the whole idea a one legged kick!

  21. Isn’t it ironic, looking for the hottest babe to promote global cooling?
    …If it smells, it sells.

  22. Why even have the pageant? We know how these things go – they’re just going give the win to the girl with the biggest ∆Ts.

  23. Here in Norway, climate change is often referred to as “wetter and wilder”.

    Surely, that can’t apply to Miss Climate 2018?

    Maybe “Miss Melting Ice Maiden” is better.

  24. Don’t they know that the “Miss America” competition is now going to dress the young ladies in burqas?

  25. I wonder if there will be a Miss Climate 2018 calendar? They could feature the winner and her eleven runner-ups.

  26. I nominate and vote for Rosie O’Donnell! She’s a heavyweight in all things anti-Trump, has name recognition and meets all the criteria for the contestants. She will knock all the other contestants out into left field!

  27. This contest makes me think of a valuable field for study. And, of course, your’s truly would be willing to undertake it. Anyway, I’d like to propose a study on how global warming impacts female breast size. It’s quite possibly the only thing I haven’t heard of a climate change study being conducted about. And, I think I should be the first to get my hands on it.

  28. contestants to be wearing handmade natural fabric clothes hand sewn , no machines used, no makeup unless its plain mineral foundation ground using mortar n pestle
    mascara and eyeliner only allowed to be carbon black from beeswax candles with cotton wicks..
    of course the auditoriums will need to be lit with candles..or solar powered leds at most
    hmm
    nah theyre too energy intensive in manufacture..
    candles or nothing.

  29. Perfect opportunity for Justine T, to show some leg, flash that heart breaking smile and get the hell out of politics.

  30. Where are the cries of sexism? If a beauty pageant is held in the woods and no one screams sexism, does it still count at a beauty pageant?

  31. Miss Climate Beauty Pageant (no, really)

    Reallllllllllleeeee? OMG! Awesome! Everything would be so awesome if we could just all get along and save the climate and the baby whales! He-he-he-he-he-he.

    Down with plastic straws!

  32. Just goes to show us there is no propaganda method that those believing in the orthodoxy will go to get the attention of non-believers and skeptics. We know what India wants, lots of dollars from the evil rich capitalist West so they can become evil rich capitalists.

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