Friday Funny: The Miss Climate Beauty Pageant (no, really)

From the “♪ There she is, misssss climatology… ♫” department. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Dr. Roy Spencer advises me of this:

The president of our university forwarded some flashy brochures he received from Virendra Rawat, Indian founder and director of the global “Green Schools” concept. They are auditioning for young females to compete to become “Miss Climate – 2018”.

As the letter states, “winners of this beauty pageant will serve as Global Ambassador of Climate Change”:

Dr. Spencer asks some hilarious questions:

QUESTIONS:

1) Can contestants self-identify as female, 18-25, and of minimum height 5’5″ tall?

2) Is the former IPCC director Rajendra Pachauri involved in this in any way? It sounds like something he’d have some interest in.

3) Will the contestants’ knowledge of global environmental concerns be up to the standards of, say, the world peace concerns of the Miss America contestants?

4) Given the global warming theme, will there be a — ahem — heat level requirement of some type for contestants?

5) Will Anthony Watts enter his dog Kenji in the competition? (At least Kenji is a card-carrying member of the Union of Concerned Scientists).

Perhaps I should, he’s got the hair for it:

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Nylo

Go Kenji go!

shrnfr

I can’t wait for the bathing suit competition. Oh, never mind…

Sharpshooter

For the Miss Hydrogen Dioxide pageant? 🙂

Hivemind

Perhaps you meant dihydrogen monoxide?

Slywolfe

Oxidane

Ian L. McQueen

(For Hivemind and many others): dihydrogen oxide [both “di” and “mono” are counters and are not both used for the same compound]

Phaedrus

Far to hot for suits!

Henning Nielsen

Give a dying Polar Bear a chance of a last meaty meal.

Joel Snider

Well, if it’s exclusively for green chicks, we could get William Shatner to judge.

Latitude

….they were just preaching that was sexist

ossqss

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Latitude

LOL…..

ossqss

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Joel Snider

Not exactly Yvonne Craig, but probably still counts.

eyesonu

There’s a pecker on that green chick!

Ian Magness

I’m sorry but it’s a no-brainer. Climate Barby of Canada is a shoo-in

John of Cloverdale, WA, Australia

The one who rides a bicycle with high heels?

Ian Magness

Go take a cold shower John..

Jeff Labute

Yes, the same one. It’s embarrassing. 2019 election can’t come soon enough. Catherine McKenna who stated she has no time for any Canadian who does not share her vision.

Mumbles McGuirck

Baby’s got back …. bacon.

MarkW

Kind of like Obama declaring that he was only president of those people who support him.

Komrade Kuma

I think that’s the Canadian PM. Surely. He likes to play dress ups too.

joelobryan

Barbie.

unless you mean the BBQ kind.

Sparky

Ut oh,.. they’re converting me. In the old days,.. the socialists got all the girls. My red flag only helped a little. (Guess I wasn’t chanting correctly).

Jim Whelan

Are you sure you were wearing that red flag properly?

Ron Long

Although I would vote for Kenji I can’t help but hope the contestants dress for really hot weather in the contest. Really now, who made this up? Dr. Roy? Anthony? Kenji?

colin smith

Does the Guardian know about this?

Gary Ashe

Yeah Toynby on crash diet.

Moderately Cross of East Anglia

Your dog would be rightly offended if you entered him for this barking mad nonsense. More insanity is the line about the “winner” being our global climate ambassador. To what? The inhabitants of the planet Drongobrains or the court of Ming the Merciless?

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more crass and moronic…

Marcus

“Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more crass and moronic…”

TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrom) is at Peak Stupidity”

You ain’t seen nuthin’ yet !!

Moderately Cross of East Anglia

Marcus – I fear you are all too right. The incessant bile and hatred directed at Trump by the rabid BBC is becoming truly deranged. There is literally nothing for which he can be given any credit without instantly being tagged with a negative twist, usually insulting everyone who has any connection with him.
Yet today we see the sad remains of American servicemen who were killed in the Korean War being returned at long last to their home. And the hope of better things to follow from his direct approach of talking to enemies. If this had been achieved by anyone else they would – rightly- have been lauded for it.
Increasingly I think the media, especially the BBC, fails to understand how much they are being held in contempt by the audience which they think is naturally supportive of them. I often find myself surprised at the range of people who have really poor opinions of the BBC and their allegedly “liberal” ilk.

Gary Ashe

Cuntural Marxists.

simple-touriste

Even the French serious “conservative” newspaper, Le Figaro, is full anti-Trump. Just as in almost every other news source, the most insignificant news is repeated if it’s anti Trump (French TV news channels discussed “Melania Trump plagiarized speech” for TWO WEEKS) but anything that reflects badly on anti Trump people is not even discussed (not a word on TV on the baseball attack, and these “journalists” love to discuss gun deaths in the US). In general I can predict whether a very important news will be aired: does it reflect badly on Trump? Yes. On conservatives that aren’t anti-Trump? No. Even in the peek of #metoo and Hollywood harassment “revelations”, the sexual harassment settlements House scandal was not even mentioned (while completely unrelated cases of alleged harassment in other countries, or even vaguely described “sexism” were discussed).

So when Le Figaro mentions good economic results, of course it’s an happy accident: Croissance : la conjoncture sourit à Donald Trump (Literally: Growth: conjoncture smiles at Donald Trump)

http://www.lefigaro.fr/conjoncture/2018/07/27/20002-20180727ARTFIG00239-croissance-la-conjoncture-sourit-a-donald-trump.php

Beauty ?! Female?! Poise?!

Racist, sexist, intolerant, prejudice. What more can I say. This contest has some “cirrus” problems.

Curious George

How about a Mister Climate 2018 beauty pageant? I nominate the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un.

Ian Magness

Great idea George. Michael Mann for me!
Then we will need a few LGBT + allies, non-binary competitions too.

Sharpshooter

63 different pageants, one for each gender/species.

Michael Jankowski

Even if Mann didn’t win, he’d probably claim that he did

Gary Ashe

Yeah but only in court.

Alasdair

Will manipulation of statistics be permitted?

Ian Magness

Of course. Goes without saying.

John Endicott

of course, after homogenization all measurements will be 36-22-36

“Well, that’s just the atomic weight of sodium hydrochloride”

shrnfr

Stop being so caustic with your comments.

John F. Hultquist

I love chemical puns, periodically.

Barbara

Hell, no – that will be required

honest liberty

As long as they don’t usher in the typical fem types that go for this nonsense, you know the Rachel Maddow’s of the world. Somehow, I doubt they will be highly attractive specimen

honest liberty

furthermore, their hypocrisy knows no bounds. They have been propping up morbidly obese types as beautiful and amazing, yet they choose a gorgeous woman for the insert. I could have sworn the prototypical humanoid they cherish is the androgenous tomboything…

looks like they are being chauvinist…hmmm. And here I thought they were supposed to be consistent in their worldview. I should have known better, silly me.

David (nobody)

They are consistent. They just lie about what it is.

GeologyJim

If they are really looking for a spokesperson to raise awareness about a “Global Zero Carbon Lifestyle brand”, what is the relevance of gender? of beauty? I’m confused at this blatant stereotyping!!

I’d vote first for a block of ice – about as close to “Zero Carbon” as one can get, and it’ll be gone in a day

Gary Ashe

No it isn’t.

This socialism, one lovely thick as brick bird gets to get a proper none job, and tour the globe, maybe even give a little head to the climate trouble shooter, i forget his name, but the guy that sank the titanic.

J Mac

Whooo Boy!
Climate models… tipping points….. Hot n gettin Hotter!
J. Geils Band – Centerfold
https://youtu.be/BqDjMZKf-wg

ATheoK

Only you just will not like the judges selected from the most alarmist activists.

Snowman shaped with mostly bald heads and fuzzy sparse goatees.

J Mac

The latest socialist heart throb in the USA…. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
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NW Sage

We could probably get Anthony to sponsor a centerfold competition (how do you put a centerfold in a website??) so we can chose who we would submit as our favorite candidate.
YEA!!!

ossqss

Hummm, self identify?

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James Allen

Clearly not tall enough! 🙂

Apparently 118 models entered but none of them projected what the judges were looking for.

Martin457

A Climate Miss? Happens all the time.

MarkW

Climate, Miss?
Isn’t that just south of Jackson?

mark from the midwest

OK, it’s almost 1pm here, the tourists have already been involved in several severe car crashes, and the weather is gloomy, classic Lake Michigan overcast

this article was enough to put me over the edge …. thanks Dr. Spencer…

Houses of the Holy, original vinyl, cranked to 11, I’m breaking out the good dark rum, got about a dozen tenderloins … anyone here by 6 gets cocktails and steak.

Just fly into TVC, head west on South Airport to Silver Lake Road, get to Long Lake Road, and Long Lake grocery, ask for Nick, he can tell you where the party is at.

Mark

Chris in Hervey Bay

Found the Long Lake grocery on Google earth ok, problem is, the 30 trip from Australia !
Oh well..

David Chappell

Easy, simply adjust the flight time.

Get on a fast plane, fly west, you can arrive before you leave. Bring a little Aussie weather to really heat the party up.

Marcus

“Worms alive after being frozen for nearly 42,000 years”
OMG, we have to put with the liberal left for 42,000 years ?

http://video.foxnews.com/v/5814689894001/?#sp=show-clips
Kenji…. Please save us !! (peeing on “paid protesters”left leg is a good start !!

-Actually, with a face like that, they will probably pee on their own leg !

GO KENJI !!

Does Kenji self-identify as female?

JohnWho

“They are auditioning for young females…”

Um, sorry, i’m all in as long as they are “of age”.

/grin

John Schwartz

Algore should enter….

John,
Algore already has his/her name inscribed on the Trophy, I assume!

Ideal opportunity to show that neither age nor circumference could stop a – human – becoming Miss Climate 2018. Self-identifying, for the moment – as female shouldn’t be a problem for the Sainted Albert.

Auto [not entering – even if I approach Albert in Circumference!]

Here are the basic contest rules:

* All contestants MUST be hot — not just a little hot — but the hottest of the hottest, to symbolize “the hottest years on record”.

* And, yes, all contestants MUST be born female, … to reflect the most popular gender association with Earth, as in “Mother Earth”. In other words, contestants MUST mirror the mothering potential of the planet; hence, sorry, fellas, you’re out.

* The winner MUST receive a MINIMUM of 97% agreement of the contest judges.

* Judges’ score cards MUST be located away from any biasing heat sources, just to symbolize the purity (giggle) of climate data collection process.

* Contestants may wear ONLY minimal clothing, to reveal their total hotness and to symbolize the dire state of how hot the future world will get.

* Contest scores WILL be allowed to be manipulated, depending on who agrees to sleep with whom. This is perfectly acceptable in this contest, as it mirrors reality most truthfully.

* Each contestant must submit a paper to either NATURE or SCIENCE — no worries, they’ll publish anything.

Richard M

I guess the first 3 rules leaves out Naomi ….

D. J. Hawkins

Have you seen the family line up? I’d rather date the brother.

Ill Tempered Klavier

Wow, I invoke “The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline” to nominate myself as I was is the days when I made my living “banging the keys” in gar(b)age bands.

HOT: A certain guitar player who shall remain nameless dubbed me “Princess Pokerhotass.” and in them days, I was considered, ahem, “stacked.” The older I get, the better I looked 🙂

Born female: Yep, and about as “noble savage” native as it gets these days. I only have a couple of stray Russians and Norwegians in my family tree to apologize for.

Yes, I’ll be able to get 97% agreement out of any wimp likely to be a judge 😉

score cards away from biasing heat sources: That’s OK. I can adjust them with Waldos.

ONLY minimal clothing: Many of my stage outfits qualified as minimal, and all natural too, mostly buckskin and feathers.

Scores manipulated depending on who agrees to sleep with whom: Unlike many notable warmistas, I have a few tiny hangups about just what I am willing to do in exchange for honors and awards so I may have to use those Waldos a little more than I intended.

submit a paper to Nature or Science: My paper on the effect of salmon berry harvest on spawning chinook salmon returns is definitive.

Aren’t I the perfect candidate?? 😉 😉

Kat

John Darrow

Can I vote more than once?

John,
It’s vote Early. Vote Often.

Auto

Ill Tempered Klavier

All Chicagoans born after 1792 vote. 100% of those born before 1908 vote democratic. 🙂 🙂

Jeff Alberts

Nice Asimov reference.

Ill Tempered Klavier

Ol’ Dr. A. dreamed up such wonderful things. I’m a bit sorry I mentioned the stuff though: now all the warmistas are looking for a source so they can fix that embarassing lag of CO2 behind temperature. 😉 😉

Clyde Spencer

Robert Kernodle,

Will the winner receive an all-expense paid tour in the company of Rajendra Pachauri?

Barbara

Gawd, I hope not.

Sheri

They should have at least five or six contestants.

ResourceGuy

A warning label needs to be applied after the sexual abuse of former IPCC director Rajendra Pachauri.

Thomas Homer

Can we expect to hear in depth analysis like such:

“I personally believe that U. S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such …”

Tom Abbott

Well, now if you think about it the use of “U.S. Americans” by that beauty contestant was in fact a very accurate description of what she was talking about. She was made the butt of jokes for saying it, but I would have voted for her to be the winner because she was the best looking one of the bunch! 🙂

Looks like they want more of an uptick in the hockey stick.

I don’t know what that means. lol

Andrew

Tom Abbott

Let’s hope these Climate Models resemble reality.

Will swimsuits be part of the contest?

JohnWho

Yes – Climate Models you can believe in!

John M. Ware

Kenji looks like a skunk, with some additional hybridization. Good entry.

Bruce Cobb

Oh my. That’s not exploitative and sexist at all.

Dave Anderson

nutso fasst

“Miss Climate” is ludicrous. Should be Miss Anthropocene.

I thought we had agreed – ‘Miss Adjustocene’!

Auto

Fiona

Kenji is seriously beautiful though.

simple-touriste

But how much does he contribute to warming?

DHR

Perhaps all contestants must be neutered? Children are bad for the climate as we know.

getitright

1) Can contestants self-identify as female, 18-25, and of minimum height 5’5″ tall?

That is a fairly broad category in today’s world of gender choice.
Just sayin’….

Gary

It’s discriminatory if old, short contestants can “self-identify” as 18-25 and over 5’5″ tall.

u.k.(us)

72 virgins, eh !!
Good luck.
(the pic at the link is worth the click).

http://neveryetmelted.com/2007/08/25/air-forces-first-female-aerial-gunner/

KAT

Yes; but all tail gunners are male I believe!

Albert

Will there also be a Miss deplor-able denihilist and what would she look like? Will they fight to the death with hockey sticks?

she can have a spa day with Ms. Winter Wheat and Ms. Snow Peas

DJ Meredith

NO BIKINI COMPETITION!!!
(and Anthony, please put some clothes on that contestant, I’m offended, especially as a former member of the Union of Concerned Scientists… who for the most part, should not be seen in bikinis anyway)

Reg Nelson

One of the competitions they will have is the FOIA Dodge Ball Event. Contestants will stand in the middle of a circle and try to dodge FOIA balls thrown by the CEI and the Heartland Institute.

dam1953

But only vote for the one who is “Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!”

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Billy Madison – Everyone is now dumber…

https://youtu.be/wKjxFJfcrcA

Duncan Smith

“Beauty isn’t about looking perfect”….”it is about respecting the climate around you”

But wait……ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA (from the picture):
Age = 18-25 (the younger you are the better, “legal” of course)
Status = Unmarried (because that is important to Climate?)
Height = 5’5 MINIMUM (Short chicks need not apply)
Education = 10+2 minimum (so you can count to twelve or possibly higher?)
Nationality = UN holder (so you can travel the world on a plane)

My my, there is not one eligibility criteria mentioned that RESPECTS the climate, SUCH AS A LOW F’N CARBON FOOT PRINT. You cannot make this stuff up.

David Chappell

The Climateclean store has its amusing moments. See number 2 in the wheel: http://www.climateclean.store/images/post-img-large-105.jpg

Coeur de Lion

I would only be interested if she was likely to come across with a bit of chat up .

Mumbles McGuirck

Miss Climate is a model. Or .. all the climate models are amiss.

ripshin

+42 (…as we’re wont to say here)

rip

Pat Frank

I don’t see why Kenji can’t identify as a young female human.

If gender identity is socially determined, how can species identity claim privilege?

SJW, inc.ᵀᴹ needs to step up to species-imperialism and the abusers pushing transspeciesphobia.

Biology: the next target of post-modern subjectivist attack.

Jeff Alberts

It’s alread been attacked, Pat. They use Gender instead of Sex now, ALL the time.

Andy Pattullo

I try to stay abreast of what is politically correct but this is confusing. I though climate change was a feminist issue. Are beauty pageants a feminist institution now? I must have misread something somewhere but I thought they were on the “bad, no cookie for you” list.

The phrase, “stay abreast”, is clearly sexist, Andy P. The gender-neutral alternative is “stay achest”.

Also, physical beauty is relative and culturally determined. Swim-suit standards are plainly prejudicial, therefore. What counts is the beauty inside, … the person inside.

The appearance of the person outside has nothing whatsoever to do with the … “person inside”. There’s this amorphous, ghost-like entity floating underneath our physical skin, TOTALLY disconnected from the physicality that our primitive senses register. I cannot yet prove this, because I have not yet assembled the necessary synthetic supporting data. I’m working on a grant to rectify this shortcoming, as I type.

Sexism much? Progressives? Ahh the irony and hypocrisy! LOL

Retired_Engineer_Jim

Has anyone asked the feminist glaciologists their opinion of this? Or are they all signed up to be contestants?

How incredibly un-PC.

Gary Ashe

Nah, frozen out

Gunga Din

First, I’d say “Has anyone asked the feminist glaciologists their opinion of this?” is the thread winner (as of the time of this comment).

Second, I’d guess they’re having a cow about now.

(Glaciers calve and all that.)

dmacleo

the second one is pretty.

ATheoK

“competing on beauty and knowledge of environmental issues”

Words can only fail. Especially when facts will not be in evidence.

goldminor

OT, but needs to be written up for discussion. …https://climatechangedispatch.com/president-trump-has-broken-the-spell-of-climate-change-mania/

Didn’t notice that this was from June, but had not heard about this prior.

Sharpshooter

BELIEVE…ACHIEVE…
Just like the hokey preachers and mystics (but I repeat myself) of long (or not so long) ago,

Jeff Alberts

Nothing’s changed. Exactly the same as religions today.