MSM: Slash CO2 Emissions or the Reindeer Get It

Strolling reindeer (Rangifer tarandus) in the Kebnekaise valley, Lappland, Sweden.

Strolling reindeer (Rangifer tarandus) in the Kebnekaise valley, Lappland, Sweden. By Alexandre Buisse (Nattfodd) – self-made (http://www.alexandrebuisse.org), CC BY-SA 3.0, Link

Guest essay by Eric Worrall

Must be Christmas, time for the traditional MSM stories about climate change melting Santa’s home in the Arctic.

Climate change in Lapland: The impact of global warming in the land of Santa Claus

Environmental changes in the far north are having disastrous effects on the region’s indigenous people and tourism industry

Josh Gabbatiss Science Correspondent Saturday 23 December 2017 16:24 GMT

Lapland occupies a happy space in the popular imagination as a winter wonderland, occupied by reindeer, elves and Father Christmas.

The real life Lapland, however, is increasingly facing up to the grim reality of global warming.

Research has revealed the disproportionate impact of climate change in the Arctic, where temperatures are currently rising at double the rate of the global average.

The far north is bearing the brunt of global warming, and, as much of Lapland’s population relies on its polar climate for their livelihoods, the effects are starting to be felt.

Read more: http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change-lapland-santa-claus-father-christmas-reindeer-global-warming-a8113041.html

The Irish Times is worried about the impact of melting snow on sled transport;

Global warming puts Santa’s delivery system at risk

John FitzGerald: Have Eircodes made Santa’s job easier? And other bah humbug observations

Fri, Dec 22, 2017, 06:00

It is proving extremely difficult in the aviation sector to find technological solutions to greenhouse gas emissions that influence climate change. As a result, flying may be the last sector staying with fossil fuels.

However, Christmas each year tests an alternative approach. The sleigh driven by Santa Claus is powered by nine reindeer. Like cows, reindeer are ruminants: when they digest grass and lichen, they emit methane gas. Unfortunately this is a very powerful greenhouse gas. On the face of it, this would appear to be a black mark against reindeer-powered sleighs.

However, we should also consider how much greenhouse gas is emitted per tonne of payload per kilometre travelled, and how that might compare with alternative modes of travel. Given that the sleigh is believed to traverse the entire globe over the course of just one night, the number of kilometres travelled is very high.

But maybe the best Christmas gift of all for today’s and tomorrow’s children could be effective action to tackle climate change through implementing the Paris Agreement. May all our North Pole Christmases be white.

Happy Christmas!

Read more: https://www.irishtimes.com/business/economy/global-warming-puts-santa-s-delivery-system-at-risk-1.3334240

Not to be outdone, the Canadian Government thinks Santa will have to move to Antarctica because all the snow is melting.

Santa is moving to the South Pole

What?

Thanks to rising global temperatures, rapidly melting Arctic ice and growing human operations in the North, Santa Claus has signed an agreement with the International community to relocate his village next year to operate in an exclusive zone in the South Pole.

So What?

Santa’s relocation agreement marks the first time that the international community agrees on a common legal definition of climate change that includes refugees as corporations, as well as individuals. This deal is expected to lead to the deployment of a global climate change refugee visa system that in the near future could help to more easily relocate individuals and corporations facing the impacts of climate change.

Read more: http://www.horizons.gc.ca/en/content/santa-is-moving-to-the-south-pole

For once its not all misery. Grand Canyon News finds hope in Christmas, with a theory that believing in Santa may help kids develop the imagination to solve climate change.

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus, and he’s calling you

GRAND CANYON — Think there’s almost a conspiracy out there to squelch your child’s belief in Santa Claus?

Technology can help you fight back.

For years the big guy in red has had to contend with aggressive pushback from the PC crowd who apparently wish he’d just pack up his sleigh and stay home in the North Pole. Department stores were pressured to nix their Santa stand-ins. Schools changed their calendars to say “winter holidays” instead of Christmas.

And let’s not even talk about the damage done to his image by Billy Bob Thornton’s “Bad Santa” movies.

Santa, being Santa, could keep right on ho-ho-hoing when lesser immortals would’ve sicked their elves on them.

But you?

Clearly, just quoting pro-Santa experts like Professor Jacqueline Woolley, chair of the Psychology Department at the University of Texas at Austin, wasn’t going to cut it.

Believing in impossible beings such as Santa Claus may exercise children’s counterfactual reasoning skills,” she’s written. “The kind of thinking involved in imagining how nine reindeer could fly through the sky carrying a heavy sleigh may well be the same kind of thinking required for imagining a solution to global warming or a way to cure a disease.”

Read more: https://www.grandcanyonnews.com/news/2017/dec/19/yes-virginia-there-really-santa-claus-and-hes-call/

Despite these stories, this year’s effort to weave Santa into the Global Warming myth seems somehow more subdued than previous years. Perhaps heavy snowfall in the North is making it more difficult to believe in the climate ice melt fairy.

Merry Christmas from Australia.

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143 thoughts on “MSM: Slash CO2 Emissions or the Reindeer Get It

    • “The real life Lapland, however, is increasingly facing up to the grim reality of global warming.”

      I would think that anyone who has to live in the “grim reality” of being in a frozen environment for most of the year would be very glad to see a bit of “disproportionate warming”.

      It is typical of this kind of disingenuous zealotry BS that they totally ignore the hard reality of life that these people are living and pretend that are worried about seeing slightly less harsh conditions

      • My ageing mum lives in the UK and she would love to have to be ” facing up to the grim reality of global warming.”

        It is a reflection of how detached from reality these idiots are that they can write something like that without realising how absurd and laughable it actually sounds.

      • “The kind of thinking involved in imagining how nine reindeer could fly through the sky carrying a heavy sleigh may well be the same kind of thinking required for imagining ….

        … imagining that human induced climate change is a real problem.

      • The real life in Lapland is that reindeer is considered cash. To the extent that they call the people of south rude when they innocently ask how many reindeer a local has.

        Why cash? Because reindeer meat in freaking expensive due to high demand and impossibility to establish farms in the south. In the north, all forest and duoddar is feeding reindeer. They come and stampede everything. In the south, you can’t do that.

    • Who’s to say that Santa wont change his gender and pimp out his reindeer at a new animal brothel in Germany, affectionately called the North Pole.

    • It’s OK – can’t say Merry Christmas enough. And a very Merry Christmas to you and yours, and a happy, rational 2018.

  1. from “warnings” about a scorching xmas for aus we now have??? err a bit nippy out at 8c down the southeast.
    Merry Xmas to all;-0

    • Yes, I woke to 17F temperatures, and now I have to decide whether or not to take in the stray calico who has been sponging off of me for two weeks. She’s ear-tipped, so someone else may be feeding her, too, but being out in this extraordinarily HOT winter weather (may go down to -1F tomorrow night) is not something I would wish on a street hobo living on lower Wacker Drive in Chicago.

      • Well, even the hobos are going to have to “face up to the grim reality of global warming”. It’s likely to have a negative effect on their begging revenues. I’m sure they are praying for less “carbon” emissions, just like the laplanders.

  2. Well, in Kautokeino in the Norwegian part of Lapland the temperature is 23 centigrades below zero this afternoon…

    • Inari in Finland is also screaming hot today. Those poor bastards are frying. If only we could levy more tax on CO2 and make things right!

      • Poor reindeer. We’ll soon need to revert to horse meat. The law limits the number of reindeer in Finland to 203,700. In addition to those, more than 70,000 reindeer are put to pot every year. Using a linear approximation, reindeer in extirpated in the next three years. One reindeer is about 20kg and €20/kg. (Though I’d use dimensional unit e/kg.) That is, €400 per reindeer trunk and the whole market is more than 20Me. But I really rather take a wurst with some horse in. The reindeer is too dear.

  3. Looking at the current snow depth map for the NH. lt looks like large parts of Lapland are currently enjoying above average snow depths. So it looks like Santa and the tourists will be getting a white Christmas after all.

  4. The climate at Lapland (covering the northen parts of Norway, Sweden, Finnland and NW corner of Russia, eq. North Fennoscandia), like the rest of Scandinavia are depending on the direction of the Gulf Stream. Without the present direction, we would have the same cold climate as the rest of the Taiga belt.

  5. First of all, Merry Christmas to one and all. Happy Hanukkah, if it’s still going on. I forgot to ask my Jewish sister (she’s a convert) when it starts and stops this year, but Happy Hannukah, anyway. And happy Yuletide to any Pagans out in the fringes, or Saturnalia if you follow Roman customs.

    Second, if the scare mongering doesn’t stop, the people who do it are going to get the same reaction as the kid who hollered “WOLF!” to get attention. At some point, the attention-grabbing and glory-hounding becomes ridiculous. Their credibility is eroding, bit by bit. My Christmas wish for them is that they have a harsh wake-up call.

  6. Merry Christmas to all from Nova Scotia Canada.

    As a government geologist I retired after 35 years so may now comment on the site without fear. Decided to go lobster fishing for a change.

    • Merry Christmas – a geologist from Nova Scotia?

      What can you tell us about the Canso Causeway that connects Nova Scotia to Cape Breton? An engineering marvel, environmental scourge, or some of each?

      “The causeway is 1,385 metres long, and fills the Canso Strait to a depth of 65 metres (213 ft) making it the deepest causeway in the world. Its crown is 40 m (130 ft) wide and its base is 244 m (800 ft) wide, and its construction required just over 10 million tons of rock for its construction.”

      • Yup, very deep, lots of stone but they didn’t have to haul it far. Simply blew the side of the mountain and rolled it down into the hole. Big stone but it still moves and has to be refilled along the sides. Also it wasn’t placed, just kept dumping until it showed up above the water so lots of voids. The lobsters just love it. However the scar on the mountain isn’t very pretty… wouldn’t be allowed today. It is now the site of a deep water quarry shipping multi-millions of tonnes of aggregate south along the eastern seaboard of the US, into the Gulf area and also into the Caribbean. They quarry behind the face and conveyor it to the face where it is dumped down over the face, screened at the base into stockpiles and then conveyorred into the ships that pull up to the base of the mountain, also ice free.

        A second deep water quarry is planned south along the shoreline. If I remember correctly it will process a medium to fine grained granite. Can’t remember the name but I think it is one of the big Florida area companies.

      • Philip Finck (I know this response is days later)

        Thank you for the informative reply, I remember learning a little about it when we drove across it. “Wouldn’t be allowed today”, is what I was thinking. Dumping rock to fill a 200 ft deep tidal channel seems like a daunting task, and “lobsters love it” is a nice reminder.

    • The key point is the scary “Double the rate of global average”… and not being very clear that that 50%(!) is .025C of which in the context of The Arctic is still very much below freezing for this time of year! But as has been stated previously, it’s all about the spin.

      Anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all. Wishing you all a prosperous and safe 2018!

      AussieBear.

    • There is actually temperature data back to 1802 from Tornio/Haparanda and the temperature has gone up about 2 degrees, so about 0.1 degrees/decade. The rise mostly happened in two steps 1800-1820 (much milder winters) and 1920-1940 (warmer summers).

  7. No need to be concerned.
    In 1600 Vatican convicts scholar and philosopher, mathematician and cosmological theorist Giordano Bruno to death, in order to burn him alive few days later at Campo de’ Fiori in Rome. Bruno is known for his cosmological theories, which conceptually extended the then new Copernican model. He proposed that the stars were just distant suns surrounded by their own planets.
    This brutality didn’t please the heavenly powers to be, hence they decided that forever more the science wins over dogma.
    So what’s this got to do with Christmas?
    As all of us know that Saint Nicholas, long associated with Christmas, also the patron saint of ships and sailors and round world navigators, ensured that Santa and his reindeers of Lapland have accurate and up to date information for the sextant (measure the angle between an sun and the horizon) and compass (instrument containing a magnetic needle which shows the direction of magnetic north) both used for the purposes of his navigation around the globe at Christmas Eve.
    http://www.vukcevic.talktalk.net/Lapland.gif
    The above diagram shows data how the Earth’s geomagnetic field (GMF) is affected by solar activity. Note that there is one solar magnetic cycle of 22 years delay in the GMF’s tracking of the solar activity as expressed by the sunspot group number (SGN).
    This information is essential for Santa’s compass navigation.
    Merry Christmas to all.

    • Those magnetic compasses are a great idea, but the North magnetic pole moves. About two years ago, our local airport repainted the runways from 1-19 to 2-20. (The runway number is the runway magnetic direction to the nearest 5 degrees.) Yes, our area is subject to seismic movement, but we haven’t had a really big quake in a long while [knocking wood], so I think it’s the pole movement. Or the FAA got it wrong to start with, and corrected the error. But an awful lot of charts needed reprinting.

  8. But is it all real? A little girl put the question to a newspaper.

    Dear Editor,

    I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.”

    Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

    Virginia O’Hanlon

    115 West Ninety-Fifth Street

    {The Answer}

    Virginia, your little friends are wrong.

    They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little.

    In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

    Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

    Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.

    There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

    Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus.

    The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there.

    Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart.

    Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

    No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

    Merry Christmas, all.

    • Dear Virginia. Of course Santa does exist. If he didn’t he would not come with presents for you, would he? Would you want that?

      • “Santa” doesn’t bring presents—the Salvation Army, the Marine Corps and a ton of other fully advertised ad nauseum on TV for a month bring presents. Add to that the reality that no matter how bad a kid is, he gets presents, I am amazed this myth still lives. (Signed, the Grinch)

      • Still remember the Christmas that Santa brought me a sock full of coal (some good PA anthracite) probably about 52-53. Been pretty much a bah hum bugger ever since.

      • jvcstone @ 1:37 pm
        Anyone ought to be thrilled to get a nice chunk of Rainbow Anthracite/Peacock Coal.

    • Wouldn’t it be a marvelous Christmas present to all if our media could start to write with this eloquence and care?

      • But they do!
        (This is going to sound harsh.) They write and speak to deceive the innocent and gullible into believing and voting for what and who they want.
        They try to manipulate the masses (mobs?) as if they were kids.
        That editor way back then was being kind to a child.
        What they do now is not being kind to anyone.

  9. My daughter called last night from Ft. Collins, CO to inform me that a gift from Amazon arrived despite the blizzard conditions on going—-no doubt there will be a White Christmas there. My great grand children will have fresh powder if they are able to make it to the ski slope.
    Merry Christmas to all and God Bless you all.

  10. Merry Christmas. There was frost this morning in suburban Austin TX, but it is entirely ordinary weather for this time of year.

  11. Ok, with the Canadian government officially announcing this year that Santa has had to move his operations to the S. Pole because of human caused climate change it is time to once again dispel this notion with the facts. Like the claim of catastrophic human caused climate change this is just bunk.

    An examination of the facts reveals this:

    Santa has an Army of Elves that serve his needs.

    He has transportation that rivals anything known to man that is so fast and nimble that it can circle the globe in 24 hours making billions of stops. It has stealth and STOL and all weather capability unmatched by anything we mere mortals have ever developed or seen.

    Santa has an unrivaled intel network and remote sensing capability that is the envy of the intel and military organizations of every nation on this planet. He has to in order to know who has been naughty and nice.

    He is the absolute master of clandestine operations, having the ability to ingress and egress leaving only his calling cards of presents and empty milk glasses and cookie plates to mark his passing and he can do this at even the most secure locations we mortals can devise.

    In short Santa has capabilities not even attributed to extraterrestrials that many believe are visiting us and monitoring us.

    And still we have these fools that claim such a being is going to be bothered by the weather?

    • RAH,
      Re: “…In short Santa has capabilities not even attributed to extraterrestrials that many believe are visiting us and monitoring us….”

      Santa IS an ET!

      I got this straight from Big Foot… well, actually, his sister (whom I married).

    • RAH – “Santa has had to move his operations. Child, are you in trouble! The correct statement is “Santa has had to move their operations•.

      Note that I had to change a previously commonly used expression, because “B*y” is now a prohibited word.

      Have a happy Dec 25, everyone, while you still can. Happiness hasn’t been prohibited yet, but they are workong on it.

  12. Speaking only for myself, I loath hot weather, but I could somehow tolerate a few degrees more warmth in Winter. It is currently 27F (-3C) in Northwest VT which will be the high for the day probably. We have 8 inches of snow on the ground and 4 to 8 more due tonight and tomorrow. Then it gets cold. NWS says the HIGH Thursday will be 1F (-17C).

    I suspect that Caribou probably feel much the same way.

    • Question for Don (and everyone else)
      What is the difference between Caribou and Reindeer?
      Caribou can’t fly.

      And for John FitzGerald
      There aren’t 9 reindeer, only two.
      Rudolph and Olive.
      (Olive, the other reindeer ….)

      Sorry.

      Merry Christmas anyway.

      • Steve,

        Reindeer are both wild and tame. If it’s in Eurasia, it’s a reindeer; if in North America, it’s a caribou. Same species, Rangifer tarandus .

        The Taymyr herd of migrating tundra reindeer (R. t. sibiricus) in Siberia is the largest wild reindeer herd in the world (including caribou herds), with numbers varying between 400,000 and a million.

      • Dear Mods.

        Why is my inoffensive, factual comment on reindeer in moderation, and why did I need to post it three times for it even to get that far?

  13. As a last resort one could just feed the reindeer to the starving polar bears.

    A story about a bloke who is not, flying deer that do not and the north pole where they are not. And the MSM think we take them serious? What about the 300000 or more tourists who are purportedly flying in to see the fairy tale, what about all those airmiles? Why doesn’t the Independent draw the logical conclusion from their own delusions and identify those visitors as the root of the problem?

      • The article says the kids should be allowed to believe in magic as long as possible. That explains Canada’s belief in global warming, doesn’t it?

  14. Greetings and Merry Christmas from Sodankylä, which is located in central Finnish Lapland. As I’m writing this, the outside temperature is -27 Celsius. We have about 50 cm thick layer of snow. This November and December have been quite normal according to my experiece of about 60 years here in Lapland.

    Finnish Meteorological Institute (FMI) has its longest serving weather station in Sodankylä. I downloaded the monthly average temperatures, put them into excel and calculated the mean monthly temperature of central Lapland. And guess what the linear regression trends show? There has been a warming trend of -0,001
    degrees Celsius per year between 1922 and 2016. I think it might point to a slight cooling. The warmest winter was in 2006/2007 (DJF) with a mean temperature of -7,4 C. The second warmest was in 1924 (-7,5 C).

  15. If Santa plans on moving to Antarctica, he’d better not squat on my homestead, where I plan to be one of the last living survivors of the Waterworld cataclysm that we are promised. I plan on being high up on a mountain slope with my beloved, Rachel Maddow, where we will make mad, passionate love, and begat the future generations that will repopulate the Earth in future yeas, after the planet cools off again, if only I can convince her to become heterosexual, and all the ice melts.

    But anyway, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza, Happy New Year, (aw, hell, you add the rest) to all the readers of WUWT, who, without having ever met them in person, or exactly knowing the reasons, I somehow consider to be my friends. And Merry Christmas too, to the readers of RealClimate, too. May you all be warm and toasty in your PJs with the built-in feet, sitting beside a nice fire, or even one of those cheesy video fireplaces that shows a video of a fire, plays an MP3 of fire crackling sounds and beams out some infrared “back radiation” at you. I hope you all get everything you want in your stockings, er, that is, unless you want some misanthropic Malthusian nightmare to wipe out me and 6.5 billion other people. In that case, I think you are bad, and I hope Santa leaves you (appropriately) a lump of coal.

    And just for the record, Santa’s reindeer don’t give a crap about frozen ground for Santa’s sleigh. BECAUSE THEY FLY IN THE AIR!

  16. ““The kind of thinking involved in imagining how nine reindeer could fly through the sky carrying a heavy sleigh may well be the same kind of thinking required for imagining a solution to global warming or a way to cure a disease.””

    If we can just get them to stop believing in reality, they they will believe in global warming.

    • “The kind of thinking involved in imagining how nine reindeer could fly through the sky carrying a heavy sleigh may well be the same kind of thinking required for worrying about global warming or a way to cure a belief in moon-landing by NASA.”

      There, fixed it for you

    • Agreed, Bruce Cobb December 24, 2017 at 7:58 am,

      It must be miserable for an emotive person, which many enviro-mentals that I meet are, to live with the oppressive doom and gloom. Let’s hope their hearts, and more importantly, their minds, grow three times their size that day. As narrated by Boris Karloff.

      • I would like to recommend a book if I may. It is called “Eco-Fascists” by Elizabeth Nickson.
        Time well spent.

  17. The second article from the Irish Times does have it right in one regard. “It is proving extremely difficult in the aviation sector to find technological solutions to greenhouse gas emissions that influence climate change. As a result, flying may be the last sector staying with fossil fuels.”
    There are a number of reasons for this difficulty. The primary reason is that hydrocarbon fuels have all the right properties for use as aviation transportation fuels. High energy content per mass and volume. But also abundance and low cost despite aviation turbine fuels being the most regulated fuels for quality and composition in the world.
    The approval process for alternatives to jet fuel derived from conventional crude oil sources, the only source of jet fuel allowed by ASTM, the British Ministry of Defence, and the US military is extremely onerous. So fuels that are derived from natural gas, coal, biomass or waste streams must be independently tested and approved by the FAA, the military, and all OEM’s (both turbine engine manufacturers and airframe manufacturers). This process took 10 years for approval of synthetic paraffinic kerosene derived from NG and nearly that long for jet fuel made by hydrotreating fatty oils (much the same process as used to make renewable diesel fuel (not FAME biodiesel). There are only a few other processes approved including converting isobutanol to jet fuel (GEVO process) and partially hydrotreating sesquiterpenes produced from genetically modified bacteria (Amyris). Conversion of ethanol to jet fuel is under review but has not been approved yet.
    Despite the airlines being pushed to use renewable fuel sources, there are very few of these sources available after nearly 20 years of trying. However, they have reduced their “Carbon Footprint” significantly by just plain common sense and some really good engineering. Adding winglets to the outside edges of wings significantly reduces turbulence as was noted by people that studies bird flight. So incorporation of this minor change saves something like 5% of fuel use. High bypass turbine engines which have been used for a number of years saved something like 20% of fuel use. And more improvements are coming including changes in regulations of flight paths that caused increase flight distance needlessly, especially in the EU where different countries still had different overflight rules which caused diversion of many intra-EU flights to less efficient routes.
    So aircraft will be the last to use hydrocarbon fuels, but that won’t happen until those fuels become very scarce. Technology exists to convert any carbon containing material into hydrocarbon jet fuel. And the worlds vast coal and NG resources will support that technology. Then there are methane hydrates that have 10X the energy reserves of all other sources combined but with significant technical difficulties needed to be overcome to recover them.
    Merry Christmas and keep flying,
    Dr. Bob

  18. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus – but he’s not quite what you think.

    At this time of the year, people’s thoughts turn to Santa Claus. Sadly, many of us dismiss him as a myth, perpetrated by indulgent parents and rapacious storekeepers. After all, they say, how could one man deliver toys to so many homes in just one night – and many of those homes don’t even have chimneys.

    The perpetrators of this outrageous denial of Santa have pointed out that, in order to visit every household with children who believe in him, Santa has to make stops at about 90 million homes and deliver somewhere in the region of 100,000 tons of toys. Furthermore, the maximum time available for this, taking into account the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, is 31 hours. (Actually, last year it was 92,453,076 homes and 104,254.3 metric tons delivered in 27 hours and 43 minutes, according to Santa’s records.) The logistic immensity of this task has caused those of little understanding to assume Santa to be supernatural, or just plain mythical. Far from it.

    Santa is neither supernatural nor mythical. However, he differs from the rest of us in that he and all his elves and reindeer originally came from a neutron star, but were forced to leave when it started to turn into a black hole. (Earthlings have been leaving Detroit for much the same reason.) Anyone from a neutron star, which is basically a star which has collapsed under its own weight, is necessarily made of condensed matter.

    The material of which most of us are made is mainly empty space when viewed from a subatomic viewpoint, but in Santa’s case the empty space has been removed, so that his density is several million times that of ours. For those who are interested, more information will be found in Dragon’s Egg, by Robert L. Forward. It is true that Santa is a little overweight – about 285 lb last time he checked – but this only makes him the size of a sesame seed. Santa’s toys are also, initially, made of condensed matter, but more of this later.

    One of the advantages of being made of condensed matter is that one’s fundamental processes are based on nuclear reactions rather than chemical reactions. Since nuclear reactions tend to take place about a million times faster than their chemical counterparts, Santa’s whole time scale is about a million times faster than ours. Thus, while Santa’s visit to each household last year averaged just over a thousandth of a second on our time scale, Santa’s time scale gave him almost 18 minutes per visit. Allowing for transit time, the actual time available was about 12 minutes from rooftop landing to rooftop takeoff.

    It has often been pointed out that going down chimneys was all very well when everyone had chimneys, but how on earth does Santa manage in a multi-storey apartment block? The answer is really quite simple. Every building has ventilation shafts of some kind, and Santa’s reindeers have years of experience in finding and navigating them. In fact, Santa doesn’t bother to dismount from his sleigh, he just takes the whole rig, reindeer and all, into the dwelling. After all, you would need a magnifying glass to see them.

    It is now time to dispel a myth which has gained currency in recent years. Santa does not live at the North Pole. Instead, like all condensed matter beings, he naturally gravitates to the centre of the Earth, sinking through its layers of rock as if they were but mist, which indeed to him they are. Here, at the centre of the Earth, is Santa’s workshop. It has several advantages over the North Pole. The supply of raw material is inexhaustible, he is entirely shielded from politicians and paparazzi so he can get on with his work in peace, and last but not least, it’s reasonably warm down there. (Don’t forget, condensed matter beings have a different concept of hot and cold from the rest of us.)

    But if Santa lives at the centre of the Earth, how does he get back to the surface to deliver his toys? To answer this question, one must realize that Santa’s race long ago solved the problem of antigravity, a matter of considerable interest to creatures who evolved on a neutron star with a surface gravity of about 60 billion g, so he and his reindeer have no difficulty in raising Santa’s sleigh to the surface and proceeding around the world at a leisurely pace. They usually use volcanic vents as convenient routes to the surface, which avoids leaving little holes in the Earth’s crust every time they go in and out.

    On a worldwide basis there are, on average, 0.8 miles between each household and, with about six minutes available in Santa’s timescale between stops, this works out to 8 miles per hour, or about 8,000,000 miles per hour in our timescale. However, condensed matter reindeer are capable of considerably greater speeds, which gives Santa ample time for resupply visits back to his workshop and warehouse. (You didn’t think Santa loaded all the toys in his sleigh at the same time, did you?)

    We now come finally to the toys themselves. These are made initially in condensed matter form by condensed matter elves, and a typical doll, baseball mitt, or whatever, would have dimensions in the submillimeter region, although weighing just as much as their normal matter counterparts. As such, when removed from the antigravity field of Santa’s sleigh, they would immediately sink back to the centre of the earth. Instead, as we all know, they are found lying under the Christmas tree. This is due to the fact that the lead reindeer carries a condensed matter expander unit which converts the toys to normal matter, essentially by pumping them full of nothing. The operating principle has been known to political speech writers for years.

    Due to their lack of opposed thumbs, the reindeer have difficulty operating the expander unit themselves, so it is carried in a harness at the front of the lead reindeer’s head with something like a basketball hoop protruding from it. Santa tosses a condensed matter toy into the hoop, and the toy quickly expands as it drops out, ending up several orders of magnitude larger but otherwise similar in all respects to the original. If Santa misses his throw, the toy just ends up back at the centre of the earth, which he regularly visits for resupply.

    I would like to be able to report that Santa’s technology is perfect in all respects, but alas, nothing is perfect. The expander unit tends to overheat and will get quite hot after it has been used a few million times. This can make working conditions rather uncomfortable for the lead reindeer. Indeed, on one famous occasion a faulty expander unit glowed red hot most of the night. Were it not for the courage of the lead reindeer, who suffered a badly singed nose as a result, many children around the world would have been disappointed. Yes, we should all be grateful to Rudolph for his courage that night.

  19. Looks like we might have a white Christmas here in Milwaukee’s northern burbs – very light snow started up about 9:00 AM and currently coming up on (11:30) it’s slowly turning white.

  20. I guess they can’t get enough polar bears to starve or die for the agenda so they need to find some other species to use to pull at your heart strings… Just another sign of climate insanity…if one way doesn’t fit your view, try the same thing on something else and expect different results…

  21. Churchill Manitoba, recent scene of a BBC polar bear blub story by the delicious fur trimmed Kate Humble , is minus 31 degs C right now.

    • Yep. The narrator claimed the polar bears roaming the place were starving because of you know what. But the bears were rather fat and that was for everyone to see.

  22. The sun is just poking up in a perfectly clear blue sky. Christmas morning in NZ (GMT+13).

    May the racing rats stay away for just one day

    Happy day all

    Michael C

  23. More CO2 will encourage more lichen and grass to grow, their primary foodsource. The marginally warmer Arctic tundra areas with thawing permafrost will allow the reindeer to expand their range.
    So the biggest problem won’t be too few reindeer.

    The bigger problem in the coming years will likely be too many reindeer and all the population problems that has when predators are too few.

    Chalk-up another lie to Climate pseudoscience.

  24. Hey!
    If our kids won’t know what snow is, who cares? As long has they about “Raindeer”!

    “Rudolf, the wet-nosed raindeer,….”

    • Yes, Merry Christmas!
      He wasn’t born December 25th, but he was born. And accomplished all that he was born to do.
      Something to celebrate year-round.

  25. Hey, MSM: Slash CO2 and the reindeer won’t have as much to eat.

    (If this weren’t the holiday season, I’d really blast those stupid idiots for being abject liars!)

  26. Not “far” north, but a ways up there, or here, from my prospective, -37.4 C in my backyard this morning, NOTHING IS MELTING, and has been frozen for several months, and will stay frozen, not to mention constant night for a large area, for several more months, until the sun finally makes its way back up here.

    • A fascinating place to live. If ever I were to move, further north is the only direction I’d go. I’m sure the darkness is tough to get used to, but I’d be willing to give it a try.

  27. I read that indo article a few days ago, mind boggling nonsense.

    Maybe these journos should be sent up north in their city clothes to document this thawing of the arctic circle. -38\39c will set em right.

    More future doom nonsense based on absolutely no observations of any kind, just an extrapolated GHG forcing value, essentially that is it, nothing more, it is all they have at this point.

  28. “The real life Lapland, however, is increasingly facing up to the grim reality of global warming.”

    ^^ Is a patent falsehood.

    Record-breaking winter season for Lapland tourism
    Snow is more popular than ever. About 600 charter flights are landing at Finland’s three northernmost airports in the months ahead.
    By
    Thomas Nilsen
    November 21, 2017

    New hotels, glass igloos, log-huts, snow constructions and ice cottages. Lapland seems prepared to welcome tens of thousands of tourists starting now in late November. Santa Claus is still an attraction, but newcomer of the year is the Snow Man.

    Located just on the Arctic Circle the Snowman World Glass Resort opens on December 1st with a row of glass apartments, each ensuite sauna and an outdoor hot spa on the terrace. Nearby, the resort offers everything you possible thought doing in snow, including ice slopes and ice-skating.

    For now, 580 charger flights have announced landings at the four northernmost airports in Finland, Finavia reports. That is 50 more than last season. The flights include 190 to Rovaniemi for the Christmas period, 108 to Ivalo, 64 to Enontekiö and more than 200 to Kittilä airport near the two ski-resorts Levi and Ylläs.

    Already before the peak-season started, Finavia, Finland’s aviation agency, reported a growth in passengers to Lapland more than double the country’s average.

    For the first nine months of 2017 Ivalo airport had an increase of 21,2%, Rovaniemi 20,1% and Kittilä with 30,9%. The average for all airports in Finland, including Helsinki, was 8,4%, Finavia’s passenger statistic reads.

    https://thebarentsobserver.com/en/travel/2017/11/record-breaking-winter-season-lapland-tourism

  29. The best Christmas gift of all for today’s and tomorrow’s children would be to forget about the false CO2 meme, Global Warming, and Climate Change and return to Rational Thought on Real Problems.

    Merry Christmas to All!

  30. This is an excellent evocative poem and seems fairly relevant.

    The piers are pummelled by the waves;
    In a lonely field the rain
    Lashes an abandoned train;
    Outlaws fill the mountain caves.

    Fantastic grow the evening gowns;
    Agents of the Fisc pursue
    Absconding tax-defaulters through
    The sewers of provincial towns.

    Private rites of magic send
    The temple prostitutes to sleep;
    All the literati keep
    An imaginary friend.

    Cerebrotonic Cato may
    Extol the Ancient Disciplines,
    But the muscle-bound Marines
    Mutiny for food and pay.

    Caesar’s double-bed is warm
    As an unimportant clerk
    Writes I DO NOT LIKE MY WORK
    On a pink official form.

    Unendowed with wealth or pity,
    Little birds with scarlet legs,
    Sitting on their speckled eggs,
    Eye each flu-infected city.

    Altogether elsewhere, vast
    Herds of reindeer move across
    Miles and miles of golden moss,
    Silently and very fast.

    W H Auden
    The Fall of Rome, 1940

    God bless us, every one!

  31. Merry Christmas from beautiful Jurien Bay, in Western Australia. Top today of 30ºC.
    It’s a good life if you don’t weaken. 😉

  32. However, we should also consider how much greenhouse gas is emitted per tonne of payload per kilometre travelled, and how that might compare with alternative modes of travel. Given that the sleigh is believed to traverse the entire globe over the course of just one night, the number of kilometres travelled is very high.” [ John FG]

    Note that Santa, deer, and sleigh deliver more payload in less time than any other
    process, ever. Most of that payload is very valuable. In fact, one can argue that the value is priceless.
    Priceless divided by a few tonnes of CO2 is still priceless.

    This proves the person who wrote this, one John FitzGerald, is stupendously stupid.

  33. MEANWHILE, in Norway, the Government is telling a Sami owner that his herd of 116 is “too many” (The supreme court in Oslo ordered Jovsset Ante Sara, a reindeer herder of the semi-nomadic Sami people, to slaughter 41 of his herd of 116 on the grounds that a herd of his size is unsustainable and contributes to overgrazing, according to the New York Post.)

  34. Merry Christmas Eric.

    I’ve just had the happiest Christmas of my life here in Perth, WA but I still can’t get used to celebrating Christmas in warm sunny weather (global warming?). To me Christmas weather should be cold and dark (preferably with snow) with the perfect excuse to indulge in our favourite drinks, perhaps a mulled wine or a wee dram.

    I’ve always thought that Christmas was an old pagan (probably Norse) mid-winter festival that was adopted by the emerging Roman Catholic church as (in today-speak) a marketing tool and a business development model to convert non-believers into true believers. Just like today’s climate change icons; the polar bear and now (as you have highlighted) the reindeer.

    In Scotland, we always believed that Christmas was for children and that the appropriate festival for adults was Hogmanay (New Year’s Eve).

    For Auld Lang Syne and Happy Hogmanay to all at WUWT.

  35. Christmas Day NorEaster (a quick-mover), dumping perhaps a half-foot (or more) of powder here in New Hampshire, on top of about 6″ already on the ground. First time in 15 years that we’ve had a snowstorm on Christmas (started early this morning).

  36. Enjoy your Christmas. If you’re having a “white one” then enjoy that especially.
    According to Newsweek White Christmases are an
    “endangered species.”
    I guess that must be just like Polar Bears and Penguins.

    I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a White Christmas, and I most certainly don’t
    expect to experience one. I live in the Southern Hemisphere, where No Snow At
    Christmas is not just routine, but always expected. So I don’t really want to
    experience one, because, if A White Christmas ever did happen DownUnder,
    we will really be deep in it!

  37. “..a theory that believing in Santa may help kids develop the imagination to solve climate change”

    And why not, I ask? After all, it was adults with the imagination of kids who developed the idea that climate change was a problem we should be solving.

  38. A merry Christmas and happy New Year to Anthony, Eric, the mods and rockers, contributors, commenters and readers, all. Thanks for your tireless work.

  39. A little known fact about reindeer (and caribou). Their bones are up to 3000 x more radioactive than other mammals such as humans, because of their winter diet of lichens which accumulate natural radioactivity from the air. All natural uranium and thorium decay products. Just saying..

  40. “…The far north is bearing the brunt of global warming, and, as much of Lapland’s population relies on its polar climate for their livelihoods, the effects are starting to be felt…”

    How are these people trying to kid?

    ‘The far north has been bearing the brunt of a barely tolerable climate, and, as much of Lapland’s population relies on tax subsidies and welfare for their livelihoods, the effects are starting to be felt because the supply of OPM is strained by the cost of gullible warming virtue signalling’

    There; fixed it.

  41. the same kind of thinking required for imagining a solution to global warming or a way to cure a disease.”

    Just like on “Jeopardy”, the answer lies within the question.
    “What is, Global warming IS the disease to be cured, Alex.

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