We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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FerdinandAkin
November 14, 2014 1:29 pm

Utopia

Reply to  FerdinandAkin
November 14, 2014 2:06 pm

Dystopia?

Chris B
Reply to  FerdinandAkin
November 14, 2014 2:12 pm

CRUtopia

PiperPaul
November 14, 2014 1:30 pm

Lysenko.

milodonharlani
Reply to  PiperPaul
November 14, 2014 1:34 pm

!

DanJ
November 14, 2014 1:32 pm

Perelandra-finally coming out if the wardrobe.

Severian
November 14, 2014 1:34 pm

Mann-os, the Planet of Fate

B
November 14, 2014 1:35 pm

Helix….. I want my incandescents back
Baldy…..after scraping the surface so we can grow our energy rather than pull from within
Windex….after covering the planet with bird killing Windmills

BernardP
November 14, 2014 1:36 pm

I just saw the new “Interstellar” movie. Mankind has to search for a new planet after climate change has destroyed Earth’s ability to sustain its population. Advance explorers are sent through a wormhole into another galaxy to look for such a planet. One of these explorers is a Dr. Mann (played by Matt Damon), and the planet he finds is called “the Mann Planet” by the main team of explorers…
Fittingly, the Mann Planet is not at all like the messages Dr Mann has sent about it. In fact, the Mann planet is very cold. He sent erroneous information because he wanted to be rescued. Eventually, he turns on his colleagues and attemps to hijack the main team’s spacecraft…
Mann would be a very appropriate name for the IPCC’s imaginary planet.

Paul R. Johnson
Reply to  BernardP
November 14, 2014 2:09 pm

Good suggestion, but the “Blight” in “Interstellar” is making the Earth uninhabitable by sequestering atmospheric oxygen. As Professor Brandt the Elder noted, “The last not to starve will be the first to suffocate.” The writers seemed to avoid blaming Climate Change. While CAGW films may be in vogue now, they’re going to look trite and stupid when that meme falls apart.

DirkH
Reply to  BernardP
November 14, 2014 4:04 pm

I thought the movie slowed down too much…
…on that planet in the gravity well of the Black Hole.

noaaprogrammer
Reply to  BernardP
November 14, 2014 9:03 pm

Just like Man-in-the-moon, we can now have Mann-in-the-Earthj.

FerdinandAkin
November 14, 2014 1:36 pm

Doppelgänger

November 14, 2014 1:36 pm

Lewmannia

milodonharlani
Reply to  jimmaine
November 14, 2014 1:38 pm

Cookedbookia.

Paul R. Johnson
November 14, 2014 1:40 pm

Planet Barbi – a wildly unrealistic, hollow-headed model of over-extrapolated proportions not calibrated to reality.

milodonharlani
Reply to  Paul R. Johnson
November 14, 2014 1:44 pm

Planet Mattel?

November 14, 2014 1:44 pm

Carbonara

milodonharlani
Reply to  carbon-based life form
November 14, 2014 1:51 pm

With Rotini, Farfalle, Penne or Linguini? Or Fetidccine.
Am reminded of Jonathan Winters’ Quasiland.

Catherine Ronconi
Reply to  carbon-based life form
November 15, 2014 7:18 am

Beat me to penne.

Scarface
November 14, 2014 1:44 pm

Plutocratos

November 14, 2014 1:46 pm

only exists in a spaghetti graph…

milodonharlani
Reply to  carbon-based life form
November 14, 2014 1:52 pm

Beat me to it.

Tom in Florida
Reply to  carbon-based life form
November 14, 2014 1:58 pm

So then, Planet Ronzoni?

November 14, 2014 1:50 pm

or Tralfamadore…they love experimenting on humans

November 14, 2014 1:50 pm

“The Weather Channel…Planet”?

Paul Demmert
November 14, 2014 1:53 pm

Planet Doom

son of mulder
November 14, 2014 1:54 pm

Dante

Mike the Morlock
Reply to  son of mulder
November 14, 2014 3:23 pm

And the capital city is “la città ch’ha nome Dite.”
“Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.”

LKMiller (aka treegyn1)
November 14, 2014 1:54 pm

Imageron 97

November 14, 2014 1:55 pm

How about Unanus – spell check wanted me to change it to Uranus.

Randy
November 14, 2014 1:55 pm

Planet NGO

Russell Klier
November 14, 2014 1:56 pm

Rabbit Hole

Brian
November 14, 2014 1:56 pm

avarice

November 14, 2014 1:59 pm

or should it be UNanus to make it more clear?

November 14, 2014 2:01 pm

Crapton?

Reply to  J. Philip Peterson
November 15, 2014 4:09 am

It’s a crappy place to live. All that climate change, nothing good ever happens. It’s name is Crapton.

Bruce Cobb
November 14, 2014 2:03 pm

Planet of the Dopes.

B
Reply to  Bruce Cobb
November 14, 2014 2:11 pm

+

Admad
November 14, 2014 2:05 pm

Planet Chicken Little

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