We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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November 14, 2014 11:02 am

Goron.

Resourceguy
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 11:24 am

Nice

Catherine Ronconi
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 11:35 am

How about Kevon or Gavon? Or Planet Hansen.

Jeff
Reply to  Catherine Ronconi
November 14, 2014 3:02 pm

How about “Oz”? (Many candidates exist for the wizard – Mann, Pachuri, etc.).
or maybe “Neverland” …. where the models never reflect reality….

Agesilaus
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 11:49 am

Or how about: Manngore or Goremann

JayB
Reply to  Agesilaus
November 14, 2014 6:42 pm

All are good and appropriate. Also, it could be named after the CAGW community. ‘Wedgieworld’ (since the wedge is the simplest tool known to mann).
(I HATE it when I do something like this. Makes me sound like one of them.)

Neo
Reply to  Agesilaus
November 15, 2014 1:46 pm

Mensenvarken

bushbunny
Reply to  Agesilaus
November 17, 2014 3:19 pm

I luv Goremann simplex.

Joel O'Bryan
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 12:59 pm
Bob Diaz
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 1:39 pm

Nice drawing, but we have a lot of Morons on Earth too.

beng
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 3:01 pm

There was some B-grade Sci-Fi movie decades ago about a world exactly opposite the earth from the sun where everything happening on earth was exactly mirrored on the other planet.
Prb’ly its name was Thrae.

Steve from Rockwood
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 3:18 pm

Technically they would be Gorons.

DirkH
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 3:57 pm

beng
November 14, 2014 at 3:01 pm
“There was some B-grade Sci-Fi movie decades ago about a world exactly opposite the earth from the sun where everything happening on earth was exactly mirrored on the other planet.”
Gerry Anderson’s first production with real actors.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppelg%C3%A4nger_%281969_film%29

Richard G
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 4:12 pm

The Gorons immigrated to Earth from Goron. On Earth their called Morons because they brought their climate models of Goron with them and tried to pass them off as climate models of Earth.

markopanama
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 5:47 pm

Goron, the planet whose atmosphere is made up of bozone…

peter
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 14, 2014 10:50 pm

Only one tiny problem. There is a series of Science fiction books by John Norman that take place on a Counter Earth named “Gor” believe me, you do not want to be associated with them. Overarching theme of the books was that women were happiest when they were chained at the foot of their ‘male’ owners bed.
You’ll have the progressives crying out that the Climate Deniers want to put all the women of earth into slavery.

beng
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
November 15, 2014 6:22 am

DirkH — that’s the movie. I remember Roy Thinnes was the main character — he was also the main character of an Amer Sci-Fi series that ran a few yrs called “The Invaders”.

Mike McMillan
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 1:51 pm

Fortran

Hoser
Reply to  Mike McMillan
November 14, 2014 4:42 pm

That’s much funnier than most people realize.

Cheryl
Reply to  Mike McMillan
November 15, 2014 12:58 am

I like that. The problem with anything related to “gore” is that you are giving him recognition, no matter how indirectly. I’d like to pretend that the man never existed.

Reply to  Mike McMillan
November 15, 2014 1:52 am

Yes, then the planets either side of it can be Fortran II and Fortran IV.

Auto
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 2:20 pm

With a major hat-tip to Cordwainer Smith [SF Author of the 1960s] surely the imaginary planet ought to be called
Mann-home
Have a good week-end, all.
Auto

Jason Calley
Reply to  Auto
November 14, 2014 2:47 pm

I must applaud your choice of authors. Smith (Linebarger) was one of the most creative SF authors ever — and also wrote one of the very first manuals on Psychological Warfare for the US Army.

Larson
Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 11:18 pm

Hoax’Us 3

Reply to  Katabasis
November 14, 2014 11:39 pm

Game over.

4TimesAYear
Reply to  Katabasis
November 15, 2014 12:32 am

“Like” 🙂

Bill_W
Reply to  Katabasis
November 15, 2014 12:00 pm

Smearth. Kind of like SIm-Earth. Sounds like where the Smurfs live as well. And is a source of mirth. (watching the predictions fail). oops, I mean “projections”

James the Elder
Reply to  Katabasis
November 15, 2014 8:29 pm

Superman had Bizarro World. Seems to fit now.

November 14, 2014 11:04 am

The Real map of the Climate
The Earth is a sphere, 70% covered by water. The central portion of the sphere between the 30˚ latitudes is half the surface area and absorbs 64% of the solar radiation. The higher latitudes get progressively less solar radiation and that includes most of the Northern hemispheric land masses.
Since energy flows from hot to cold. The geometry clearly shows that the energy flows from the equator to the poles. The energy takes two paths and time frames, the bulk of the energy flow is by slow diffusion in the oceans, with a secondary flow via a relatively faster flux in the atmosphere.
Geometry also shows that a cloud in the tropics primarily causes cooling by blocking the suns rays from being absorbed by the ocean and the same cloud in higher latitudes results in warming by reflecting surface radiation.
That is it. More clouds in the tropics cools the climate and less clouds in the tropics warms the climate. Everything else is a rounding error.

Reply to  Genghis
November 14, 2014 2:16 pm

This is a great point. It would have been wonderful if this thread had been more about the silly way climatologists “model” the earth by making it flat and averaging the sunlight over the whole darn thing at all times. A diffused twilight. Perfect for vampires perhaps, but not the real earth as we know it. It is a sphere, and it is a water filled world. It has a powerful heat source called the sun that will burn your butt at the equator if you are on a sandy beach. The atmosphere is a heat moving machine.
Perhaps your comment could be expanded upon and made into a post someday when people realize that unless “science” looks at the darned beast as it is, and not as some fantasy place, we will never really understand the climate.
Your post was a +1 with me. ~Mark

Reply to  markstoval
November 17, 2014 8:50 am

Hmm, Flat Earth would be another suitable name.

milodonharlani
Reply to  Genghis
November 14, 2014 2:28 pm

I’m certainly grateful for the clouds which brought snow yesterday & are now keeping the temperature here in NE Oregon from getting even more unseasonably cold. When they clear, we’ll yet again suffer Arctic chill under cloudless skies.
You’re right about tropical clouds. One hypothesis to explain the exceptional heat of the Cretaceous is fewer clouds, producing hot oceans, which yield fewer biological CCNs in a positive feedback loop. Higher CO2 levels alone then can’t reproduce implied heat, without absurdly high CS assumptions.

4TimesAYear
Reply to  Genghis
November 15, 2014 12:36 am

If they taught this in schools, there wouldn’t be any alarmists 😉

Badgerbod
November 14, 2014 11:04 am

Nibiru Planet X set to destroy the Earth in 2003… No! 2012.. No! Dec 2014… Oh, I don’t know but its definitely there!

emsnews
Reply to  Badgerbod
November 14, 2014 1:48 pm

It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
Already in movie theaters everywhere on the real Earth! 🙂

Auto
Reply to  emsnews
November 14, 2014 2:23 pm

Or World, World, World, World, Mad – or am I getting Alfred E. Neuman(n) out of his depth?
Auto

Bryan A
Reply to  Badgerbod
November 14, 2014 2:21 pm

That one Terra-Bytes

Eamon Butler
Reply to  Bryan A
November 14, 2014 4:43 pm

Could be Terra Flops!

Bryan A
Reply to  Bryan A
November 14, 2014 7:39 pm

Or “Sim-ya-later”

DirkH
Reply to  Badgerbod
November 14, 2014 3:59 pm

“Nibiru Planet X set to destroy the Earth in 2003… No! 2012.. No! Dec 2014… Oh, I don’t know but its definitely there!”
Muller’s
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemesis_%28hypothetical_star%29
(It’s the Muller who also did BEST)

Adrian
November 14, 2014 11:04 am

Alarmistan

JVaughan
November 14, 2014 11:04 am

Planet Hearth

23
November 14, 2014 11:05 am

Plant Hearth
[Missed it by that much, Chief. ~mod]

Jason Calley
November 14, 2014 11:11 am

Planet Phlogiston

Reply to  Jason Calley
November 14, 2014 8:29 pm

Yeah! Phlogiston. The atmospheric burning planet.

talldave2
Reply to  Jason Calley
November 16, 2014 10:15 am

Gorphlogismann. I think that’s a winner.

Sweet Old Bob
November 14, 2014 11:13 am

LaLa Land, It’s where she lives….

Malc
November 14, 2014 11:13 am

Antigaia

Admin
November 14, 2014 11:14 am

Planet Krypton 🙂

latecommer2014
Reply to  Eric Worrall
November 14, 2014 12:43 pm

Planet IPPiCac Both make you heave

Jason Calley
Reply to  Eric Worrall
November 14, 2014 2:49 pm

Bizarro World — where everything is backwards, but especially their science.

more soylent green!
November 14, 2014 11:15 am

Vaia — Virtual Gaia

LeeHarvey
Reply to  more soylent green!
November 14, 2014 11:40 am

Nice.

milodonharlani
Reply to  more soylent green!
November 14, 2014 12:31 pm

Or Māyā, in the Buddhist meaning.

ToddE
November 14, 2014 11:15 am

How about “La La Land”?

ineedtoblog
November 14, 2014 11:16 am

“La La Land” is it.

SteveE
November 14, 2014 11:17 am

Erewhon!

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:20 am

Hypoconnedgaia

Joseph Murphy
November 14, 2014 11:20 am

Linear Simplistica
Fun game, Bob!

LeeHarvey
Reply to  Bob Tisdale
November 14, 2014 11:41 am

‘Joseph Murphy’, while a fine name, doesn’t scream ‘fun’ to me…

Bryan A
Reply to  Bob Tisdale
November 14, 2014 2:15 pm

But is a writer of fine laws

Brian H
Reply to  Bob Tisdale
November 14, 2014 7:56 pm

Seems self-promoting experts in the field share a common strategy: take a tangent from the most recent potentially adverse change, and then promote the Cr*p out of it as the probable future. To which they have the sole remedy, natch. This ‘ere bottle of snake oil, …

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:21 am

Bizarro World

ConfusedPhoton
November 14, 2014 11:21 am

Fantasia – apologies to Disney

PiperPaul
Reply to  ConfusedPhoton
November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Manntasia.

milodonharlani
Reply to  PiperPaul
November 14, 2014 12:20 pm

We have lift off!

Shar
Reply to  PiperPaul
November 14, 2014 6:04 pm

That’s got my vote

Jay Hope
Reply to  PiperPaul
November 15, 2014 12:59 am

Love it!

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
Reply to  ConfusedPhoton
November 14, 2014 1:36 pm

I was going to suggest that, actual name is “Htrae”, but in DC Comics the Bizarro world is cube shaped, which kind of violates the spirit of Bob’s challenge. Although if we follow the Bizarro premise, we have to grant that there is a Bizarro Michael Mann there who is universally reviled for conducting good climate research.

nielszoo
Reply to  Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
November 14, 2014 2:34 pm

Well, they model the surface of Earth as perfectly flat, circular black body radiator so faces on a cube fit right into their math.

TRM
November 14, 2014 11:21 am

DeathToUsAllVile

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:22 am

Climate Cuckoo Land

Catherine Ronconi
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:38 am

Without any clouds!

ace
November 14, 2014 11:23 am

Vague. (World of models with uncertainty bars …)

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:24 am

Somatoformia

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:25 am

Rogue Globe

November 14, 2014 11:25 am

Errrth

Mac the Knife
Reply to  Kevin Lohse
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

To Errrth is human….

Reply to  Mac the Knife
November 14, 2014 11:39 am

Yes. Clever, what?

AP
Reply to  Kevin Lohse
November 14, 2014 12:39 pm

Gets my vote!

Stephen Garland
Reply to  Kevin Lohse
November 14, 2014 3:25 pm

Gets my vote!

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:25 am

Simulak

Admin
Reply to  Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:22 pm

Love it 🙂

kelly burgess
November 14, 2014 11:26 am

Planet Algore

Texcis
November 14, 2014 11:26 am

Manndora

Dioxide
November 14, 2014 11:26 am

The world as envisioned by the IPCC, Hansen and Mann should be called Hysteria

November 14, 2014 11:26 am

I saw that article, too. I wanted to comment, but there was no place for one.
Climatebabe Chelsea is just jumping on the bandwagon. She wants to be liked. Probably didn’t make the cut as a cheerleader in high school.
Anyway, I could have saved her a lot of typing: ‘The End Is Nigh.’ Simples.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:27 am

Planet Dearth of Truth

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:27 am

Pachauri

RJ
November 14, 2014 11:27 am

Mannhansenlew

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

Their Own Little World

Chris B
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

Crutopia?

milodonharlani
Reply to  Chris B
November 14, 2014 1:13 pm

!

Eustace Cranch
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

Errorth

HGW xx/7
November 14, 2014 11:29 am

All it takes is reading the title to know that this is indeed the hard-science we should be basing world-wide economic policy and social engineering on. Once they start showing them complex graphs where them orange bars jump from medium to the next level of medium…man, my head just starts to spin. I willingly submit to you, climatologists, my meek and unworthy brain as penance. Save us! Make the scary-colored graphs turn a soothing icy blue!

November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Planet ocean

November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Planet GIGO.

John Endicott
Reply to  sturgishooper
November 14, 2014 4:48 pm

+1 Fitting name

biff33
Reply to  sturgishooper
November 14, 2014 5:00 pm

Yes!

UE
Reply to  sturgishooper
November 22, 2014 2:12 pm

I like Planet GIGO
How about Planet FAUXGEO
Or maybe
PLANISFEAR
THERMONDE

Stephen Richards
November 14, 2014 11:30 am

For describing someone missing a grey cell or billion I always use Planet Zod. It’s close to earth but far enough away for the lunies to live on.

RJ
November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Planet Mirth

November 14, 2014 11:30 am

Sim Earth?

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:31 am

Thermophobia

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:31 am

Cannabis

Gunga Din
Reply to  Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:00 pm

I like that.
Naming a planet GAGW after something which gives a distorted view of reality.

Dawtgtomis
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 11:09 pm

My new progressive bifocals give me more distortion than that ever did, i recall…

November 14, 2014 11:31 am

So all planets bear names of ancient world gods. So I’d say Dolos
http://www.theoi.com/Daimon/Dolos.html

Gary Hladik
Reply to  leftturnandre
November 14, 2014 11:41 am

Or maybe “Mendacium”? 🙂

Janice Moore
Reply to  Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 12:19 pm

lol, yes 🙂
lousy beggars… (grr)

milodonharlani
Reply to  Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 12:24 pm

IMO Gary refers to mendacity (from the Latin for untruthful) rather than mendicants (from the Latin for begging), but it works brilliantly both ways.

Janice Moore
Reply to  Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 12:43 pm

Yes, Mr. Harlani, I agree — your guess is the better one given the “a” vs. the “i.” Thanks for the affirmation… and the lesson.

Reply to  leftturnandre
November 15, 2014 1:33 am

That’s really a delightful one, but I’m afraid it requires an encyclopedia to be appreciated.

Gary Hladik
Reply to  Josualdo
November 16, 2014 5:23 pm

Got “Mendacium” it from leftturnandre’s reference for “Dolos”.

Catherine Ronconi
November 14, 2014 11:31 am

Planet Terrda.

Eustace Cranch
November 14, 2014 11:32 am

Planet WTF-97

Alberta Slim
Reply to  Eustace Cranch
November 14, 2014 12:52 pm

Good one. My choice

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:32 am

Planet X, Y or Z, depending on the excuse needed.

Janice Moore
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

Along the lines of a computer game little kids like to play, SimCity (where the people all turn red when you forget to put enough elevators in your apartment buildings and stuff like that)
SimEarth
Ad slogan: “Not realistic, BUT tons of fun to play! Design fake buildings. Fool your friends — tell them you are a real engineer.”
Not recommended for children under the age of 3.

Michael in Sydney
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

vegas – I haven’t seen that much risk of bad things happening since I visited a casino.

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 11:33 am

Markeyville

Janice Moore
November 14, 2014 11:34 am

@ Mr. David M. Hoffer — great minds …
(didn’t copy — independent genius 🙂

November 14, 2014 11:34 am

Reblogged this on Scratch Living and commented:
I know a good name for the imaginary planet simulated climate models for the IPCC, “Paycheck” or “Easy Grants”.

Catherine Ronconi
Reply to  Red Dust
November 14, 2014 11:49 am

Grantlandia.

Reply to  Catherine Ronconi
November 14, 2014 11:59 am

Yes, that’s a good one!

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:34 am

Jackanorby

Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:06 pm

The Americans won’t get that at all, Mike!

Mike Bryant
Reply to  The Ghost Of Big Jim Cooley
November 14, 2014 12:23 pm

My beautiful English wife gave me that one 🙂 She explained it and I still don’t get it!

Janice Moore
Reply to  The Ghost Of Big Jim Cooley
November 14, 2014 12:23 pm

This one sure didn’t…

Reply to  The Ghost Of Big Jim Cooley
November 14, 2014 2:02 pm

Here in England, in the late 1960s, 70s, and I believe maybe early 80s, there was a TV programme about 4.00 in the afternoon called Jackanory. The programme consisted of a very simple format. Someone well known, not just to children, would sit in a comfy chair and read a story to the camera. Believe it or not, that very simple format was just brilliant. The stories were never true stories, but fiction brilliantly told, and sometimes with some great voices by trained actors. The best one I ever saw (and I must have been in my 20s then!) was by the comedy actor, Rik Mayell, who sadly died this year aged only in his mid 50s. Some VERY famous British actors and actresses had a go at presenting Jackanory. It was a simple idea, in a simple time…and we all loved it.

Matthew R Marler
November 14, 2014 11:35 am

Good contributions above. Here are mine:
Simulistan,
Compustan,
Silicastan,
Democratic Republic of Alarm.

Gary Hladik
November 14, 2014 11:38 am
RJ
November 14, 2014 11:39 am

Pluto (not really a planet)

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:39 am

Craven New World

András G.
November 14, 2014 11:40 am

Planet Hell!

StoptheRot
Reply to  András G.
November 15, 2014 4:53 am

Nightwish?
Hang on why not just – Planet Wish!? (They wish CAGW was true0

Mike Smith
November 14, 2014 11:41 am

“Lenina”. Huxley nailed it.

H.R.
November 14, 2014 11:41 am

Erewhon.

H.R.
Reply to  H.R.
November 14, 2014 3:57 pm
Mac the Knife
November 14, 2014 11:41 am

Planet Scare’m II, with it’s companion Moon “Lyre Ban Ki”

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:42 am

Smear Sphere

Catherine Ronconi
November 14, 2014 11:42 am

IPeCaC.
GoCiMo.

ShrNfr
November 14, 2014 11:43 am

Cruciarietsimulatione or Nonconputare

wally
November 14, 2014 11:43 am

Imagina-a-a-ation land…..

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:43 am

Mind Game Gaia

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:46 am

Malingerth

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:47 am

Model Twaddle

R. de Haan
November 14, 2014 11:47 am

Stupidonia?

Clint
November 14, 2014 11:48 am

Planet “Nerf” , soft science capital of the universe…

Michael Sununu
November 14, 2014 11:48 am

Model-topia
Middle Earth
LV-426
Otisburg

Catherine Ronconi
Reply to  Michael Sununu
November 14, 2014 11:51 am

Muddle Earth.

Gunga Din
Reply to  Michael Sununu
November 14, 2014 12:09 pm

“Middle Earth”?
Sorry. I vote against that.
Tolkien put a lot more research into his fantasy world than these guys have.
Besides, who’d want to see a Gandalf that’s short and balding? 😎

Janice Moore
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 12:28 pm

Amen to that — and Tolkein never attempted to foist his world upon the rest of us as a real place (much less use it to justify taking away our money and liberty) — not even as an allegory (he would strongly object to his books being described as “allegories”). Pure fantasy with the author’s own stellar morality shining throughout.
Cf. the worse-than-useless computer climate simulations which claim to “predict” — they can’t even hindcast historical data!

Janice Moore
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 12:29 pm

Tolkien. (oops)

Frodo
Reply to  Michael Sununu
November 14, 2014 1:16 pm

Hey! We sit here in Hobbitton and laugh hysterically at your absurd fantasy land all the time.
That being said, this is a completely awesome topic. Lots of brilliance on display.

Bruce foutch
November 14, 2014 11:50 am

Fanatica

András G.
November 14, 2014 11:50 am

Model Zombie

Toby Nixon
November 14, 2014 11:50 am

Whenever I hear their descriptions, it always brings to mind Crematoria, the planet in Chronicles of Riddick. http://riddick.wikia.com/wiki/Crematoria

Chip Javert
November 14, 2014 11:51 am

Bovine Excrement, or, if you prefer French, Merde

milodonharlani
Reply to  Chip Javert
November 14, 2014 12:52 pm

Merthe, borrowing the “th” from “murther”, Shakespearian for “murder”. Rhymes with “Mirth”, above.

Brian R
November 14, 2014 11:51 am

Durka durka.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:53 am

Planet of the Japes

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:55 am

Foreboding Planet

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:56 am

Terra Burner

Zeke
November 14, 2014 11:57 am

TippingpointCraft – it’s a sandbox game for experts and academics.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:57 am

Carbon Garden

November 14, 2014 11:57 am

Abstract Earth.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 11:58 am

Hellhole

ConfusedPhoton
November 14, 2014 11:58 am

Land of Faux Laureates

milodonharlani
November 14, 2014 11:58 am

Planet CACA.

November 14, 2014 11:59 am

Who’s Planet is it Anyway?
A show where everything is made up and the facts don’t matter.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:00 pm

Pretension Dimension

Paul
November 14, 2014 12:01 pm

Earth 2.0

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:02 pm

Third Crock from the Sun

milodonharlani
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:54 pm

Like it. Thirth Crock.

Resourceguy
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 3:35 pm

Made me laugh

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:03 pm

Dementia Dimention

Jeff Mitchell
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 15, 2014 5:01 am

Just plain “Dementia” would be great. I like one word names.

Amatør1
November 14, 2014 12:03 pm

Watermelon

Gary
November 14, 2014 12:03 pm

dNemesis
d for digital and Nemesis, well, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemesis_%28mythology%29

Me
November 14, 2014 12:04 pm

Ever play SimCity? Why not SimEarth?

Paul
November 14, 2014 12:04 pm

Gorram,
from Firefly

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:04 pm

Intelligentsia Dimensia

dp
November 14, 2014 12:05 pm
milodonharlani
Reply to  dp
November 14, 2014 12:53 pm

Cognate with urp!

Johanus
November 14, 2014 12:06 pm

Recall that, by convention, planets must be named after gods.
So I propose the Japanese divinity of wind, storms and viciously cold weather:
Kamikaze

kelly
November 14, 2014 12:08 pm

Catastrophia
Calamitous II
Cataclysmia
Hysteria
Panicgaia
And in keeping with Larry Niven’s naming of planets. . .
We Made It Up

milodonharlani
Reply to  Bob Tisdale
November 14, 2014 12:17 pm

You coulda been a contendah in your own contest!

kelly
Reply to  kelly
November 14, 2014 4:52 pm

We Made It was a planet orbiting Procyon A. The population were survivors of a crash landing.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:08 pm

Hellucination

Mac the Knife
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:30 pm

+10

Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 4:35 pm

Terror of Soul

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:08 pm

Devolutia
Pushcartistan
NIMBY
Progressiveannia
Project Scoop
Ruler Magic
TreeRingia

November 14, 2014 12:09 pm

Tamino

george e. smith
Reply to  The Ghost Of Big Jim Cooley
November 14, 2014 12:18 pm

Or Pamina ?

Editor
Reply to  The Ghost Of Big Jim Cooley
November 14, 2014 12:32 pm

As in The Lost Planet of Tamino? Didn’t I read a short story about that here? 🙂

RomanM
November 14, 2014 12:11 pm

Carbonaira.

milodonharlani
Reply to  RomanM
November 14, 2014 1:19 pm

Charth.

Transport by Zeppelin
November 14, 2014 12:11 pm

Climaticus Simulatis Fakegaterous

RomanM
November 14, 2014 12:12 pm

Alternatively, Carbonerror

O2BNAZ2
November 14, 2014 12:13 pm

Miri, from Star Trek: The Enterprise discovers an Earth-like planet that was devastated by a horrific degenerative disease and is now populated entirely by impossibly old children. The disease is starting to affect the landing party, their nerves are frayed and their tempers are short. Now infected with the disease and crying, they find comfort in the arms of Captain Kirk (Dr. Mann)
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Miri_(episode)

Mac the Knife
Reply to  O2BNAZ2
November 14, 2014 12:32 pm

“Bonk on the head, mean grr’up! Bonk on the head!”

Zeke
Reply to  O2BNAZ2
November 14, 2014 12:38 pm

“Beaming down, the landing party of Captain Kirk, Spock, Dr. McCoy, Janice Rand and two security men discover architecture like that of Earth, circa 1960. But there is debris in the streets and evidence that decay has been ongoing for at least several centuries, and that the distress signal is automated.”
A planet over-run and decaying under eternal adolescents, starting in 1960. What a zinger! (: I didn’t say it.

Eamon Butler
Reply to  Zeke
November 14, 2014 4:55 pm

That’s life Jim (Hansen) but not as we know it.

Reply to  O2BNAZ2
November 14, 2014 1:16 pm

Damn! I was hoping no one had beaten me to that one!
+1

garymount
Reply to  O2BNAZ2
November 14, 2014 3:45 pm

I just so happen to have just watched that episode. Miri was the name of one of the inhabitants of the planet.
– – –
I have conducted an extensive poll and it is unequivocal that the name of this planet should be Gary.

November 14, 2014 12:13 pm

Though it’s still early in the NHL 2014-2015 season, I would go with Clemmensen, since there’s a hockey stick present that serves no apparent function*.
*As of this post, Scott Clemmensen of the New Jersey Devils (which team name in itself brings to mind the searing heat claimed by CAGW boosters) has the worst Goals Allowed Average and Save Percentage of any goalie in the NHL this season.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:14 pm

Fear Sphere

milodonharlani
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:55 pm

Says it all.

Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 4:41 pm

Terror Firma

Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 4:46 pm

Terror Sphere
Terra Fear

Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 17, 2014 9:00 am

Fear Sphere is not merely funny; it is accurate and comprehensible.

milodonharlani
November 14, 2014 12:15 pm

Imaginearth.

george e. smith
November 14, 2014 12:17 pm

How about….Dirt……or …….Dert…??

george e. smith
Reply to  george e. smith
November 17, 2014 6:31 pm

D’Ert you e’diot !

milodonharlani
November 14, 2014 12:19 pm

Planet CMIP-6.

Mike O
November 14, 2014 12:19 pm

Did I miss?
Planet GORE

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:19 pm

Politicalwhimsy

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:20 pm

Boxerville
Waxman
Nancy Says
Kalifornia

earwig42
November 14, 2014 12:21 pm

Planet HOOEY
In memory of Reid Bryson who many consider to be the father of SCIENTIFIC climatology.

Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 12:22 pm

Ring World.

nielszoo
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 3:29 pm

But Niven’s math is far more likely to be proved right than the GCM’s are.

Bob B.
November 14, 2014 12:23 pm

Grant

higley7
November 14, 2014 12:23 pm

Planet COPRO. Just a suggestion, but I think it applies quite well.

Rick
November 14, 2014 12:24 pm

Somewhere for the warmistas to live: “Conned-Doh!Money-Errm!
Okay, time for me to go, I think.

dickon66
Reply to  Rick
November 14, 2014 12:25 pm

Or just call it “The Money Pit”.

Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 12:26 pm

Globe-Ka-Bob.

November 14, 2014 12:27 pm

Earthwarm

November 14, 2014 12:29 pm

Dearth

Editor
Reply to  Tim Whittle
November 14, 2014 12:35 pm

I read through the whole list to see if this had been chosen. I should’ve just search for it!

nutso fasst
Reply to  Ric Werme
November 14, 2014 12:58 pm

Inextremis

nutso fasst
Reply to  Ric Werme
November 14, 2014 1:03 pm

Oops, wrong place…
I came late to this game and also thought “Dearth” but searched first.

Reply to  Tim Whittle
November 14, 2014 3:26 pm

I also like “Dearth”
where live the Dearthlings.

Ian H
November 14, 2014 12:29 pm

Terra. Or Terror.

Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 12:29 pm

Planet Huh?

H.R.
Reply to  Gunga Din
November 14, 2014 3:37 pm

Nice one, Gunga. Depending on how you say it and where you put the inflection, it can carry a load of sarcasm.

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:30 pm

Dune
LameDuckia
Faux
Psychops
Fundraisia
GreenPlace
Planet CrazyAnt

milodonharlani
Reply to  Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:32 pm

Falsefidia.

steven strittmatter
November 14, 2014 12:30 pm

Algore-an. (As in a great disturbance in The Farce)

Max P
November 14, 2014 12:31 pm

Misanthropia.

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:32 pm

I repeat….
NIMBY

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:33 pm

Sodom Says….or was it Gomorrah?

Reply to  Resourceguy
November 15, 2014 1:46 am

I never found out what gomorry might have been.

william
November 14, 2014 12:34 pm

It should be called the “Paleo Planet” because it can only exist on low carbs.
Other options:
Miranda (from Serenity)
Krypton
Girth (Gore + Earth)
Earthmannia
Snowball Earth
Kobol
Caprica
Alderaan
Gallifrey
9tee7%
PPM Planet
Unreal Clear Earth
Grant Generator
Perhaps if we just renamed this planet Mars and the Red Planet Earth, we could get all the climate scientists and environmental nutjobs to move there and save that planet!

milodonharlani
Reply to  william
November 14, 2014 12:44 pm

Blue Balls Planet.

November 14, 2014 12:35 pm

Planet 9 From Outer Space. It’s just bad science fiction.

Mark
Reply to  John G.
November 16, 2014 1:54 am

Isn’t that “Plan 9 from Outer Space” 🙂

Resourceguy
November 14, 2014 12:36 pm

Paywalled
Troll
Manniacal

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:36 pm

Fabricatia

AJ
November 14, 2014 12:37 pm

The Matrix

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:38 pm

Hotairius

Martin 457
November 14, 2014 12:38 pm

Catastrophicus.

urederra
November 14, 2014 12:39 pm

Planet 404
(experimental data not found)

Robert W Turner
Reply to  urederra
November 14, 2014 12:44 pm

+

milodonharlani
Reply to  Robert W Turner
November 14, 2014 12:57 pm

H.R.
Reply to  urederra
November 14, 2014 3:43 pm

+1 & +1. My favorite so far, though I liked Muddle Earth.
Yeah, yeah, I voted twice. Just practicing for the next elections ;o)

Reply to  urederra
November 15, 2014 1:47 am

Wow. I’ll have that.

Jeff Mitchell
Reply to  urederra
November 15, 2014 5:08 am

++

Reply to  urederra
November 17, 2014 9:03 am

This is the funniest yet!

George A
November 14, 2014 12:40 pm

ManBearPig

Man Bearpig
Reply to  George A
November 14, 2014 1:51 pm

Eh?

Randall_G
November 14, 2014 12:40 pm

Paradisum Lanatus – loosely: Watermelon Paradise.

Robert W Turner
November 14, 2014 12:43 pm

Tough one. I don’t think there has been a world in fiction that is comparable to the madness here. Planet bat-sh!t-crazy comes to mind.

Mark
Reply to  Robert W Turner
November 16, 2014 2:03 am

I’m sure the planet in question is somewhere in “The Number of the Beast”, by R. A. Heinlein. Possibly one of the Teh-positives surveyed in chapter 38.

Scizzorbill
November 14, 2014 12:43 pm

Never Never Land

garymount
Reply to  Scizzorbill
November 14, 2014 3:47 pm

In a few more years it will be called “Never Mind”.

pwl
November 14, 2014 12:45 pm

Flat Earth of Doom, since (most of if not all of) the climate models use two flat planes, one for the Earth and the other for the atmosphere… two flat matrices.

jorgekafkazar
Reply to  pwl
November 14, 2014 2:50 pm

Are you sure of that? I’d sure like to know. Got a linky-dink or two? Thanks!

Dudley Horscroft
Reply to  pwl
November 15, 2014 1:24 am

Obviously should be Discworld – if Terry Pratchett will let you have this name.

milodonharlani
November 14, 2014 12:45 pm

Terra Loca.

November 14, 2014 12:45 pm

Horsemanuearth.

Reply to  lenbilen
November 14, 2014 12:49 pm

Should have been HorseMannuEarth.

CaligulaJones
November 14, 2014 12:46 pm

Goremannistan

Larry
November 14, 2014 12:46 pm

Planet “Doom”

katarax
November 14, 2014 12:47 pm

Wherejohnstewartandfriendsgotopia

milodonharlani
Reply to  katarax
November 14, 2014 12:57 pm

Goretopia.
UEAtopia.

Mike Bryant
November 14, 2014 12:49 pm

Blazing Addled

CaligulaJones
November 14, 2014 12:49 pm

As the saying goes, truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Twain, if the Google is correct.

Brute
November 14, 2014 12:49 pm

Planet Wow.

Tregonsee
November 14, 2014 12:50 pm

Warmworld?
Fever?

Mario Lento
November 14, 2014 12:51 pm

Ouranus – pronounced OurAnus.

PiperPaul
Reply to  Mario Lento
November 14, 2014 1:27 pm

Eurectum. (Futurama)

william
November 14, 2014 12:52 pm

Jotunheim for Asgardians
Furya for Riddick fans
For Star Trek Fans:
Bajor
Cardassia
Ceti Alpha V think Kahnnnnn!
Epsilon Eridani
Ferenginar
Gorn
Iconia
Iota Geminorum IV (think tribbles)
Praxis
Omicron Theta
Romulus

ripshin
Editor
November 14, 2014 12:54 pm

“Catatooine” or “Climatooine”
Potentially: “Not-Hoth”

milodonharlani
Reply to  ripshin
November 14, 2014 1:16 pm

Loonytooine.

Gunga Din
Reply to  ripshin
November 14, 2014 1:21 pm

“Cartoonine”?

Pmeuller
November 14, 2014 12:55 pm

Maybe it is too obvious but how about Erehwon.

Mike Maguire
November 14, 2014 12:56 pm

Similar projections for 2 decades from the alarmist side. On the real planet however, the actual reality is that this keeps happening:
http://usda.mannlib.cornell.edu/usda/current/CropProd/CropProd-11-10-2014.txt
“Corn production is forecast at 14.4 billion bushels, down slightly from the
previous forecast, but up 3 percent from 2013. Based on conditions as of November 1, yields are expected to average 173.4 bushels per acre, down
0.8 bushel from the previous forecast but 14.6 bushels above the 2013
average. If realized, this will be the highest yield and production on record
for the United States.”
“Soybean production is forecast at a record 3.96 billion bushels, up less than
1 percent from October and up 18 percent from last year. Based on November 1
conditions, yields are expected to average a record high 47.5 bushels per
acre, up 0.4 bushel from last month and up 3.5 bushels from last year.”
So what is the response from the IPCC to the booming biosphere, increased vegetative health, record crop yields, slightly less global drought, less strong/violent storms/tornadoes and less tropical cyclone energy?
Boost their confidence level in the bad stuff to 95%.
To be objective, the beneficial warming in the 80’s/90’s resulted in an atmosphere that can hold more moisture and this increased heavy down pours a bit.
Also, the explosive growth from plants/vegetation caused some wildfires to be worse since that factor provided additional fuel for them to burn.
Those negatives are actually a result of an overall positive.
Who would want plants and crops to grow less, so that wildfires would not have as much fuel?
Who would want less water vapor in the global atmosphere, which would result in less rain for areas that dependent on it?
This planet and the response by life on it, shows conclusively that the one gas which should be increased…….even more is CO2.

Mike, England
November 14, 2014 12:58 pm

Capricorn One
(You needed to have seen the film to see the relevance)

Richard G
Reply to  Mike, England
November 14, 2014 5:01 pm

Truth really is stranger than fiction. O.J. Simpson was in Capricorn One.

Sean
November 14, 2014 12:59 pm

CHARADE — Computationally Hyped Atmospheric Research Analytics Defying Evidence

LogosWrench
Reply to  Sean
November 14, 2014 1:07 pm

That is fanFreakintastic.

kelly
Reply to  Sean
November 14, 2014 4:46 pm

you got my vote

nutso fasst
November 14, 2014 1:00 pm

Planet Inextremis

November 14, 2014 1:01 pm

U-dope-ia

November 14, 2014 1:02 pm

A new planet won’t be enough. You’ll need a new universe where you can customize the Earthly laws of physics. First, you will need to repeal the Second Law of Thermodynamics so Earth 2.0 can rest in equilibrium states. Then you’ll need to repeal Henry’s Law of Solubility so the ocean will stop sucking up CO2 emissions, and outgassing CO2 from solar heating (or any other source of global warming). And then you’ll need to repeal whatever laws govern cloud cover so that it can be constant instead of being a high speed, positive feedback to the Sun, and a slow speed, negative feedback to surface temperature.
It might be easier just to convert everyone not already an IPCC-climatologist so that nobody cares whether climate models actually work. Easier yet, all you have to do is convert the remaining half of the US into liberal/progressives, or put them on the dole, then no one will worry about whether anything works.
Or, cut of funds for these terrorists in mufti and huaraches, or whatever academic dress du jour is, and let’s all get back to useful work.

Reply to  Jeff Glassman
November 15, 2014 10:40 am

OK. Nobody liked my observation that you can’t just stick Planet X in the existing universe and have it reproduce the AGW model because that model violates universal laws. So, to play the name game for this compliant planet, I offer
KRaP.
That stands for Karl RAImund Popper, who single-handedly founded Post Modern Science, the academically compliant, Publish or Perish “science”, without which IPCC compliant climatologists would be exposed as cranks. As Will Happer confirms on Paul Budline’s new video posted on WUWT a few minutes ago, “it’s complete falsehood to say that it’s science”. By it, he means (anthropogenic) global warming, which he condemns as propaganda from a religious cult.
Under Popper’s principle of Falsification, the only valid model is one containing a clause that would show it is empirically invalid. Since the passing of David Stove, apparently I am alone in being amused by this observation. More than propaganda and religion, it’s insanity, specifically psychotic. Stove politely and untypically called proponents irrational.
Just to be sure, AGW is peer-reviewed, published in AGW journals, supported by a consensus of AGW experts, and has a falsification clause involving an urgent, irreversible, global catastrophe just out of reach — the end of life-as-we-know-it in t-minus-100 years, and, apparently, holding.

Mark from the Midwest
November 14, 2014 1:03 pm

Las Vegas, what happens there stays there

n.n
November 14, 2014 1:03 pm

Planet Hubris – An egoistic invention.

LogosWrench
November 14, 2014 1:05 pm

I’m thinking Grantlandia. Mudhutnon.
or maybe the latin name Liberantra backwardassia.

mikeishere
Reply to  LogosWrench
November 14, 2014 1:09 pm

Planet Gorsaliah

Alberta Slim
November 14, 2014 1:06 pm

There are so many good ones that it is hard to believe there can be clear winner.

Steve Keohane
November 14, 2014 1:07 pm

Planet Toasty

Steve
November 14, 2014 1:08 pm

‘No-where’
It’s really heating up!
Really? Where?
No-where!
Oh My God! No-where is screwed!

milodonharlani
Reply to  Steve
November 14, 2014 1:12 pm

Already proposed Erewhon sort of has that covered, with added benefit of literary allusion.

Rob Dawg
November 14, 2014 1:12 pm

Fiddle Earth

milodonharlani
Reply to  Rob Dawg
November 14, 2014 1:17 pm

!

Gunga Din
Reply to  milodonharlani
November 14, 2014 1:25 pm

Ditto!
But, perhaps, “Fiddled Earth”?

rogerknights
November 14, 2014 1:13 pm

IGPOCC

Danny Thomas
November 14, 2014 1:16 pm

I wanna play if I’m allowed!
CO1

Mario Lento
Reply to  Danny Thomas
November 14, 2014 1:24 pm

Danny Thomas: Everyone is allowed – except sockpuppets… sometimes 🙂

Rob R
November 14, 2014 1:18 pm

Mork
The whole climate modeling exercise is a comedic parody of science

lawrence Cornell
November 14, 2014 1:19 pm

I’ve been using the name ‘planet Model’ both here and elsewhere to describe that scary planet of the future described by the imaginative and faithful.

Rob R
November 14, 2014 1:21 pm

or AAAArth
For Rowan Atkinson fans google “will this wind” from the Secret Policemans Ball”. Its an end of the world comedy skit.