Readers may recall my story from last night about the Met office and their spectacular failure of a forecast for April. See Met Office April Forecast: “…drought impacts in the coming months are virtually inevitable.”.
Today I got confirmation of the PR being foisted on the UK public surrounding that forecast, and I don’t think even Josh could outdo this one, it is one for the books.
This is British humor at its absolute finest (FAIL added by AW):
Photo by Delemere Lafferty with a h/t to commenter RichieP
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Between 1959 and 1962 I frequently flew from the UK to the continent and back as pilot of an old twin Beechcraft. I was always impressed with the professionalism and competence of the weather people who gave me the aviation forecasts. The Beechcraft did not handle icing well (remember Glen Miller?) and forecasts were critical. I believe some of the forecasters I dealt with were the same ones who briefed pilots during WWII. They were good people all.
When you see stories about drought in the UK you have to factor in the “record breaking” rainfall that broke it – they had some 2 inches in a few days – about a month ago we had more than 4 inches in an HOUR with over 20 in a day !
They really don’t know drought at all – try 10 years of way below average rainfall ending with the flooding of Brisbane and other cities in Queensland – all the British migrants here in SE Queensland feel right at home again with the never ending stream of wet weather we have had since the end of 2009.
I particularly liked the ad with pictures of scantily clad Philippino girls that appeared at the end… 😉
(I know, I know, the ads are automatic….but they were in bathing suits!)
It seems to me, that the Met forecast was a bit shifted. Here in Czechia, in the middle of Europe, we have indeed rather dry spring, not enough water in wells and the farmers aren’t happy about their fields at all.
We are getting used to it in the UK, everytime the Met Office mentions the ‘D’ word we have weeks if not months of rain. All they have to do next is forecast a BBQ Summer and we can be sure of dull, grey cool days for the Summer months, followed by a ‘mild’ Winter so that we can have record cold and snow. Odd isn’t it!
To all of those here wondering what happened to the British spirit of 1941, please read this:-
Horatio Nelson at Trafalgar
Nelson: “Order the signal, Hardy.”
Hardy: “Aye, aye sir.”
Nelson: “Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?”
Hardy: “Sorry sir?”
Nelson (reading aloud): “England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.” – “What gobbledegook is this?”
Hardy: “Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting ‘England’ past the censors, lest it be considered racist.”
Nelson: “Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco.”
Hardy: “Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments.”
Nelson: “In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle.”
Hardy: “The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government’s policy on binge drinking.”
Nelson: “Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we’d better get on with it. Full speed ahead.”
Hardy: “I think you’ll find that there’s a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water.”
Nelson: “Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow’s nest please.”
Hardy: “That won’t be possible, sir.”
Nelson: “What?”
Hardy: “Health and Safety have closed the crow’s nest, sir. No harness, and they said that rope ladders don’t meet regulations. They won’t let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected.”
Nelson: “Then get me the ship’s carpenter without delay, Hardy.”
Hardy: “He’s busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the fo’c’sle.”
Nelson: “Wheelchair access? I’ve never heard anything so absurd.”
Hardy: “Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled.”
Nelson: “Differently abled? I’ve only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn’t rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card.”
Hardy: “Actually sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.”
Nelson: “Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons.”
Hardy: “A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won’t let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don’t want anyone breathing in too much salt – haven’t you seen the adverts?”
Nelson: “I’ve never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy.”
Hardy: “The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.”
Nelson: “What? This is mutiny!”
Hardy: “It’s not that sir. It’s just that they’re afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There’s a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.”
Nelson: “Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?”
Hardy: “Actually sir, we’re not.”
Nelson: “We’re not?”
Hardy: “No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn’t even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.”
Nelson: “But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.”
Hardy: “I wouldn’t let the ship’s diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You’ll be up on a disciplinary report.”
Nelson: “You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.”
Hardy: “Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest. It’s the rules. It could save your life”
Nelson: “Don’t tell me – health and safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?”
Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there’s a ban on corporal punishment.”
Nelson: “What about sodomy?”
Hardy: “I believe that is now legal, sir.”
Nelson: “In that case…………… kiss me, Hardy.
Someone has got to use this for a book cover! Is there a date to this photo?
Easy to fix, that. Just remove an “r” from the bus ad; from:
“We are in drought” to:
“We are in doubt”.
Yes, but it’s a very dry torrential downpour!
The Met Office couldn’t find its rear end using both hands.
What makes you think they can out-forecast Piers Corbin of WeatherAction?
Surely Romm, Mann and the rest of the AGW advertisers have to also be laughing about this ironic photo. Oh, you think not?
Robin Hewitt:
re. your post at May 1, 2012 at 2:27 pm.
The meaning of words has importance.
There is a water shortage caused by excess demand in Southern England.
THERE IS NO DROUGHT IN ENGLAND.
Please read my above post at May 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm.
Richard
Heavy rain can cause drought, consistent with the argument that cold is an artifact of warming.
It’s just rotten rain. Can’t be compared to the way rain used to be in the good old days.
Hey it’s a dry rain!
On the good old BBC a few days ago the weather forecaster was explaining that because the ground was dry through drought, much of the rain would not soak in and so would increase the risk of flooding. Today I heard the weather forecaster say that a particular eye must be kept on the rainfall overnight because the ground is waterlogged so would increase the risk of flooding.
Steve Clauter says:
May 1, 2012 at 11:19 am
So now the bus drivers are forecasting the weather…Oh wait… I get it, the bus drivers USED to be UK Climate Scientists!
___________________________________
Don’t Insult the bus drivers. At least in the USA they have to show they have a high level of competence to get a CDL (Commercial Drivers Licence)
Anopheles says @ur momisugly May 1, 2012 at 11:39 am
////Every casual conversation you have with an acquaintance or stranger begins with a sarcastic remark about drought
A friend of mine from The Former Yugoslavia would understand that attitude. In a totalitarian state, all news are assumed lies.
Isn’t St. Swithin’s Day a bit early this year.
A recurring theme in the coments is the lack of reservoir capacity, blamed on the eeevil public water companies.
However, when said companies attempt to build new reservoirs, the NIMBYs* scream and shout to prevent it. And, almost invariably, succeed.
* not sure if this translates outside UK. Not In My Back Yard
So the lesson for Brits is: When in drought, doubt.
AllanJ says @ur momisugly May 1, 2012 at 2:28 pm
(remember Glen Miller?)
He took off from Bovingdon Aerodrome heading for France and was never seen gain. I grew up over the road from Bovingdon Aerodrome; many of the sixties air war movies were filmed there. As a kid, I had Spitfires and Meschermitts dog-fighting over my house. Cool 🙂
They’re lowering their sights a bit on their new summer forecasting:
““The wet weather is definitely helping the grass grow so if we have dry weather in May and June it would mean a high grass pollen count and grass pollen affects 95 per cent of sufferers.” ”
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/weather/9239504/Why-Aprils-showers-could-mean-a-very-sneezy-summer.html
If …..
In 1976 UK had a hot and dry summer with nine continuous weeks without rain. The government eventually appointed Denis Howell as Minister of Drought. Three days later it started raining so heavily that his appointment was changed to Minister of Floods.
Gary D. says @ur momisugly May 1, 2012 at 2:25 pm
… Cleese “But that’s not the point is it. The BBC and the Met say we’re in a drought and that’s all we really need to know.”
In WWII in the UK, I understand people said “If the BBC says you’ve been bombed, you know you’ve been bombed”