What sort of new appliance is so hip, so cool, so stylish, so sophisticated, so much a work of art…that you’d put it in your glass penthouse living room, so that you could impress your hot model girlfriend? Don’t look just yet. I’ll give you a hint. It has an iPod dock, speakers, a light, motion sensor activation, motorized access, and a touch screen remote. It only costs $6400. Make your best guess now.
Here’s what it looks like after dark, after you and hot model chick have knocked back a bottle of Opus One and you let the gadget’s soft glow set the mood for what comes next.
What could such a home appliance be? Answer below.
Yes that’s right, the new NUMI super toilet from Kohler flushes green dreams and your cash!
We’ve been told time and again the importance of using a single sheet of toilet paper so as to not stress Gaia’s natural state, that we should put bricks in our toilet tank to reduce the amount of water used, and even that we should all be like eco saint Ed Begley Jr., who doesn’t use any water at all, but composts his, er, crap.
Some greenists say we should be “…radically abandoning the flush toilet – one of the world’s most destructive habits, absorbing 40% of water available for domestic consumption and contaminating everything in its way”.
So imagine the howling that will now ensue with the worlds largest indoor plumbing fixture company tossing all those ideas down the toilet, and reincarnating it as a must have hipster item that is marketed in a way like a Ferrari is marketed to a guy with only one thing on his mind. Of course if that doesn’t work out, you can always compost your girlfriend.
Truly, it is the Poop de Grace of toilets.
Here’s the remote:
Here’s the feature list:
- Motion Activated Lid and Seat – Front sensors react to your movement when
you enter the room for hands-free opening and closing of the cover. Motion at the floor-level engages sensors to raise and lower seat.
- Advanced Bidet Functionality – Self-cleaning wand features multiple options for
water spray pattern. Adjust wand position, water pressure and temperature to your preferences
- Integrated Air Dryer – Located in the wand for more efficient drying.
- Deodorizer – Air is pulled through a powerful deodorizing charcoal filter.
- Heated Seat – Warms the seat to your comfort level.
- Feet Warming – Warm air from floor-level vents, heats the floor surface and warms your feet.
- Illuminated Panels – Ambient lighting illuminates your space with a soft, inviting glow.
- Music – Built-in speakers allow you to play a selection from the Numi toilet’s pre-programmed audio, FM radio or to connect your MP3 player through the audio input jack in the remote docking station.
- Touch Screen Remote Fine tune every option to your personal preference. Magnetic Docking Station Charges and stores the remote.
- User Presets – Easily customize and recall your saved preferences.
- Numi Flush Technology – A sophisticated, automatic flush system delivers unprecedented water savings and power.
- Auxiliary Controls – Allows you to control basic functionality without use of the remote.
What, no self cleaning bowl? Personally if I was given one, I’d program the “Numi toilet’s pre-programmed audio” to play a “A Time for Tony” so I could “Think”.
Now the real question is: how many will Al Gore, Sheryl Crowe, and Leonardo DiCaprio buy? I can see this as the new green cred question asked on the red carpet – “is it true that you own a Numi?”
There is a restaurant in Darwin, Australia, where the gents wahsroom is separated from the restautant by a one-way mirror. It’s very disconcerting watching the customers while peeing. Imagine using that toilet in that glass room.
Gosh, that’s exactly like the loos in Azimov’s Robots of Dawn, on Aurora. Maybe the designer is a Sci-Fi fan.
I was sure it would be an iToilet.
REPLY: Well no, it doesn’t look anything at all like it. – Anthony
I don’t know what weirdness is going to happen next.
Some people have more money than sense.
OMG, you can wave at your neighbors while reading LOL
The public toilets at the 7-11’s here in Tokyo have many of the same features and they’re free to use. They’re probably a lot more durable too. Some of them even play a special flushing sound when you sit so that if you’re shy you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing you fart.
Solar powered? Hmmmm. Probably not. Maybe in the next model. 😉 It should also have Facebook/Twitter hook up so you can share your squats with other ecofreaks.
It’s an iPOOP….
Last time i checked my toilet used NO electricity.
The flushing of $6400.
Did the army not pay astronomical amounts for toilet seats?
This is obviously not for real.
REPLY: That was the first thing I thought of, that maybe this was an April fools joke done by the company, but sadly, no. It is quite real – Anthony
It’s not nearly as green as an old telephone diretory and a spade. Why am I reminded of NASA spending $millions developing a pen which would work in freefall while the Russians used a lead pencil on a bit of string?
Crap
Robert of Ottawa says: April 23, 2011 at 5:35 am
Which restaurant in Darwin?
Jeeze, you lot are soooo last century. Our dunnies (in my home) have auto lid lift and a button for seat lift. Heated seats, of course. A choice of buttons to wash the bum or the muff. Bog roll is reduced to a drying, rather than a wiping function. Stand up, the auto-flush operation happens and the lids close.
Whenever I travel from Japan, the thing I miss most is being able to wash my arse after I’ve had a s[..]t.
[had a seat? Robt]
I guessed a $6400 styrofoam cooler before I read the article.
That’s greenthink. For every $1 spent on the greenification of the universe, the universe benefits to the tune of $.01.
That means that for every 1 job created by redirecting wealth to the green sector, 5 people in other sectors lose their job (get flushed). Of course the green elite will only tell you about all the green jobs created, and hide the fact that greenification destroys more jobs than it creates.
So when the power goes out, where does one ‘go’?
Thinking this product is not a ‘family’ model.
The suites of Ladera Resort on St Lucia are completely open to the leeward side of the building. One could sit on the “throne” with a fantastic view of the Pitons on either side, with no-one able to view your activities (unless they were climbing the Pitons) .
I recognize that house! That was the home of Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) in Galaxy Quest!
oh, and Sheryl Crow obviously never had a bowl of Texas Chili.
I have my own recycling system; it’s called a septic tank and I can use all the water I want…goes right back into the ground water supply.
Thomas Crapper is turning over in his grave. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Crapper
Why is it in the middle of an all-glass walled livingroom???
Idd. When the power went out after our recent earthquake (you may have read about it) I collected snowmelt, and we flushed the dunnie with that. Coming to you from Yamagata, Tohoku, Japan.
I guess now we know where some of the Fed’s bailout money is going…
And just looking at the photo, this toilet doesn’t appear to be hooked up to any plumbing; just a pipe through the floor. The penthouse is probably perched over an unemployment office. 😉
Robert of Ottawa, there is a toilet with one way mirror in the Palmwoods Hotel, Sunshine Coast Qld. You pee while watching people eat in the bistro and hope they can not see you.
The Japanese have been mentioning the bidet idea for a while. Which company is it- Sony maybe, they are into movies and might get some of the naive Hollywood AGW believer filmstars to buy one?
Never mind family model, that home looks like it was designed for future Darwin Awards winners. Pool next to polished decking next to long drop and no safety rails. The loo placement does allow the time honoured tradition of allowing the wealthy urban greens to bare their posteriors at the peasents beneath them. The images are a little creepy though. Is the woman thinking “I really need the loo, but he’s just sitting there, watching”?
The data sheet is lacking some green credentials. It says “Dedicated circuit required, protected with Class A Ground-Fault Circuit-Interrupter (GFCI) or Residual Current Device (RCD)” which is good advice to avoid it becoming an electric throne. It doesn’t seem to mention power consumption but I’m sure the owners micro wind turbine or solar panels will be fine.
With all that sh–going on I’d forget what I was going in there for – confused and would probably do it in my trou! sheesh!
The Japanese market will snap them up! They’ve had these types of electronic toilets for decades.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=japanese+electronic+toilet&aq=f
I still want to know they used the three seashells from the movie Demolition Man.
The first thing that struck me was: Oh no, what a lot of un-necessary electricity that toilet must be using!!!
But then it dawned on me: – Oh yes of course, it all wind powered.
“Heated Seat – Warms the seat to your comfort level.”
Thank you, Kohler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I’ll need a swing-out computer table.
I used to work in a warehouse with a 350+lb guy from Kentucky who could destroy the sturdiest of toilets after lunch. I’d love to send him in to that toilet’s factory and watch their R&D engineers cry….
Ackos says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:49 am
Last time i checked my toilet used NO electricity.
**************************************************************
Yes, and these use a lot of electricity! They are a work of art, they have them at Narita and Haneda Airports and the finer hotels. Heated seats, automatic dryers, and this bidet wand thing. You can adjust the temperature of the bidet, as well as the force. From a gentle sprinkle to fire-hose. It really helps you figure out your kanji via negative reinforcement!! If you make a mistake you may end up with an ice water enema instead of a warm spray. It’s much more direct than the Berlitz Method, and the feedback loop a lot shorter.
I’ll miss those babies when we get back stateside! That and the massage chairs that cost 200 yen for 10 minutes. And the drink machines that have hot and cold drinks (including beer). And sushi-go-round…..
Luboš Motl says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:42 am
“I was sure it would be an iToilet.”
REPLY: Well no, it doesn’t look anything at all like it. – Anthony
Yeah, you seem to be confusing it with the original iToilet designed by Steve “Big” Jobs. 😉
Loo with a view: The world’s toilets with the best vistas –
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1078738/Loo-view-The-worlds-toilets-best-vistas.html
REPLY: Well no, it doesn’t look anything at all like it. – Anthony
I will never be able to use my mac without remembering this now…:-)
Well – I’d certainly have one of those in pride of place in my glass-walled penthouse apartment..!
Beats a wall-mounted 60-inch HD 3D tv with surround sound – let’s face it, your guests would get surround sound, particularly after a curry….
jones says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:48 am
It’s an iPOOP….
==========
the winner:-)
Joe Lalonde says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:49 am
The flushing of $6400.
Did the army not pay astronomical amounts for toilet seats?
_______________________________________________
That was to keep the cost for the secret underground labs at Area 51 hidden from the congress critters according to one story.
LOL!!!
And when the power goes out, or your windmill/solar system blips and Power to the Potty drops, you’ll have to call the Geek Squad to come and re-program it for you.
Me? I like the crapper so simple a caveman can use…or a cat.
It’s worse than we thought!
Nice legs and shoes, is she part of the deal?
this would have been good for April Fools. Oh god, it’s replaying. They are trying to make this toilet SEXY, but what I’m getting is PERVY. All it needs is a disco beat.
We have experienced a lot of different toilets. We visited a friend up on the Olympic Peninsula, in a sensitive area where neither sewers nor septics are allowed. They use a few different kinds of toilets, all of which require a separate building because of the odor. My friend always liked to come to visit us because she did not have to go outside to go to the toilet. The poshest homes up there have a posh outhouse to match. Her quaint little cabin had a quaint little outhouse, with a big window looking out on the immense forest. In the daytime it was picturesque, but at night it took some convincing.
She had a regular old outhouse, which is discouraged, and is a real pain in the rear to move, but she lived so far out there nobody was bothering her about it. Her cousin, an outrageous old hippy, got up every morning and pooped in a paper bag, which he piled in a pit beside his house and burned once a week. Some of her neighbors used their own version of a proper composting toilet (toilet has to sit on a big box, etc), but the ones who could afford the propane used the incinerating toilet, aka, “inshiterator.” Those are pretty amazing. They burn poop right then and there, – WHOOSH! – and urine you just let go(waste of propane). Stinks like the dickens right that minute, but then it’s over.
Of course, I love my regular Tom Crapper and the attached septic tank. My water stays on my property, instead of being flushed out to the river. And I’ve never read anything about modern sewer treatment plants that has anything on my tank and field.
Well worth the money if it gets you women like that.
Joe Lalonde says: April 23, 2011 at 5:49 am
. . . Did the army not pay astronomical amounts for toilet seats?
No, that was the Air Force, $800 to fit an aircraft toilet, but it was a very high quality seat, fail-safe, crash tested, low flame spread, etc., and most of the cost was in providing certification that the manufacturer was an equal opportunity employer.
.
Curiousgeorge says: April 23, 2011 at 5:44 am
Solar powered? Hmmmm.
I think wind powered would be more appropriate.
Can you imagine your typical 2-3 year olds, potty training and this unit?
No matter what the technology they come up with still won’t stop that remote from being flushed eventually.
For extremely social toilets and shifts in taboo perceptions you really have to watch this 4-minute segment from a Luis Buñuel movie in the 1970s (The Phantom of Liberty, 1974)
When the Sun throws its next hissy-fit that wipes out high voltage distribution thoughout half the world, all this technological excess will be flushed down the drain (but not by this toilet which will have been rendered inoperable).
So I can spend $6400 to deal with the natural byproducts of human digestion (waste/pollutants), or I could pay for tertiary waste water treatment- which runs $223.44 bimonthly for 18ccf via the Placer county SMD No.3 facility. Oh, wait my wife would make me buy more then just one unit…
Instead, I think I’ll spend some funds to R&R my formerly 95% efficient propane furnace. My furnace died 10 years after it was installed. The mean (actual- in my case) time to failure of super green furnaces have a system wise mean time to failure of about half the time of 80 to 85% energy efficiency furnaces- per the two HVAC companies I have had come out to diagnose my furnaces problems.
Oh well, I guess I will be assisting in green job growth. Oh wait, I can’t print money like the feds. My choices are heat in the winter or a bit better mpg option for my transportation needs. It looks like my trusty older diesel sedan will get another couple years of use.
Much like the hot model girlfriend, it looks rather expensive to keep.
It’s certainly not bog standard…
It’s not cheap having sh*t to show off to your friends.
“What, no self cleaning bowl?”
Hah!
Was just going to ask that question meself, Anthony!
On the other hand – anybody who is willing to spend that amount of money on a mere loo has certainly a sufficiently large number of domestics, so no need to worry about a little petitesse like cleaning the loo …
Every one should have to go though using the old reliable in a NE Oregon blizzard.
(insert your favorite are/bilizzard here). My Granma’s ranch had a two holer for
luxury. -It was fun when a cousin would walk up to the locked door..”Open UP!
I ain’t doing a jig out here! Gran’s locked the house! and Barn’s too far! OOOpenn UUUPPP!.”
Sometimes revenge is best served cold…
I want one!
Of course, I’m talking about the hot model.
In fact, I want two!!!
This guy may have trouble getting second dates and electrocution is a possibility and embarrassing.
OK, but is it low flush?
An appliance for the limo libs. This is where Boxer and Gore get their brilliant ideas to save the planet. Meanwhile, for the peasant class, tasked with saving Gaia and making less than $100k, we’ll be provided with a kit with which to build our own outhouse (unheated), [closed bottom for urban locations, requiring regular servicing; open bottom for suburban and rural locations, requires adherence to EPA standards – written while using the Numi].
It the new Bidet 2.0.
Pulsating water jets? This will turn out to be a great sex toy for some.
Why the sneering at composting poop?
It makes more sense to compost it and return it to the dirt to help grow plants than to flush it away with drinking water (!) and then have to clean it out of the water before the water is released back into a stream. Properly made compost is neither smelly nor icky, even if the starter material is.
Hot model or warm toilet…… In the long run, the toilet is a lot less expensive, more functional, and easier to maintain.
In the 6.8 Nisqually earth quake of 2001 (Washington State, USA), a friend named ‘Stu’ was planted on the porcelain throne when the shaking started. He rode it out right there, which earned him the nickname ‘Stu-nami’ Stu!
I would think that the open proximity of mundane bodily functions would take some of the mystique out of the relationship, but I could be wrong. The first time I discovered the little sprayer arm thing was 20 years ago in Europe. I was sitting there, kinda bored, thinking I wonder what this button does….
Luboš Motl said:
‘I was sure it would be an iToilet.’
Does it track you everywhere you go?
Why does it have a remote??? Where are you going to be when you need to activate the controls?
Little Toilet of Horrors
NUMI: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be human?
NUMI: Feed me!
Seymour: Does it have to be mine?
NUMI: Feeeed me!
Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?
NUMI: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long – That’s right, boy! – You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.
“What, no self cleaning bowl?”
That’s what servants are for. And I doubt those perched upon this throne spend little time once there pondering the 1 billion people worldwide without enough food to eat.
Remember the Zero G toilet on the Moon Transfer ship in 2001?
Here are the instructions: http://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~elf/aso/zeroGtoilet.html
This toilet is amazing…
To all the negative comments, to say that this toilet is not useful it would be a lie. Making fun of it while using old-ways of leaving your poop is tragic.
Kenneth Russell says on April 23, 2011 at 8:52 am:
“Why does it have a remote??? Where are you going to be when you need to activate the controls?”
It’s for easing the butler’s task – of course.
I’ve heard a rumour that the iToilet won’t flush if you hold the handle like THIS – you must hold it like THAT (or buy a $30 insulating strip to ensure it works at least some of the time).
Surely much innocent fun could be had (it was just on a whim your Honour) with the NUMI superloo if a one-way mirror were installed in the enclosing room, and you retained the remote-control while visitors used the “torture-chamber”. The mind BOGgles.
Paris throws five millions a year into the sea. And this without metaphor. How, and in what manner? day and night. With what object? without any object. With what thought? without thinking of it. For what return? for nothing. By means of what organ? by means of its intestine. What is its intestine? its sewer . . . Science, after long experiment, now knows that the most fertilizing and the most effective of manures is that of man . . . A sewer is a mistake.
An early protest against the water-carriage system of sewage disposal by Victor Hugo, from Les Miserables. Toilets are wasteful of water and resources, no question. Still, in a huge city, what’s the alternative. Retrieving the value from all that stuff in the form of sewage sludge would be a step in the right direction, and it is pursued now.
amicus curiae says:
April 23, 2011 at 7:08 am
jones says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:48 am
It’s an iPOOP….
==========
the winner:-)
Seconded!!!
While growing up, my granddad mused about keeping three husked corn cobs handy. Two reds (multicolored kernels) and a white (yellow kernels). The white is to make sure you got it all.
My guess is that this was in case you ran out of the Sears Catalog.
Time out !!
Where did they get the hot model?
Can’t be American. Haven’t you heard? We’re all suffering from an obesity epidemic. Though, for the life of me, I keep seeing plentiful examples of young, trim, healthy adults all over the place.
Aptly name the NUMI, it’s a Green Coin Collector, or a numismatist.
It will necessesarily result in your movement costs skyrocketing.
Is it bio-degradable? I would think so, for when it’s full, it can be disposed of.
Where would you dispose of it? In the same place ancient cities disposed of wastes: At a place called a dung hill.
Next, we will be replacing indoor plumbing, followed by water delivery conveyances.
The Green Utopia will consist of life before the advances to civilization introduced by the Romans.
Am I the only one wondering where the sink to wash your hands after might be located?
Scott Walker says:
April 23, 2011 at 8:24 am
Oh, do you mean importing things like dung beetles to aid in decomposition?
Eh, I’ve seen enough examples on the TV where houses for the “Rich & Famous” had glass-walled bedrooms. Why not have glass-walled bathrooms as well? Don’t forget the open showers to complete the look, as in the “Look At Me!” look.
So the bidet-arm thing squirts you with water, then the warm air starts blowing to dry your bottom… Where’s the soap? It’s not washing, and not really sanitary, without soap. Squirting on some water then drying? That’s rinsing, not washing.
So soap’s not used, it’s not sanitary… And they’re popular in Europe? In France perhaps? 😉
When I scrolled down to the remote pic. I expected buttons representing various sexual positions. How disappointing it had none.
Now I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with me.
Reminded me a little of the black obelisk in 2001. Remember, Thursday was judgment day.
When will this madness end? I just got back from the store trying to purchase a standard 2.2 gpm faucet aerator. They had none in stock, just the low flow water saving 1.5 gpm ones. I have a tankless water heater that needs some flow to give us hot enough water, And from my porch I can see lake Erie! When will they realize that water does not disappear when it is used. I thought that the screams of the melting ice caps was supposed to make more water!
The Portland city council has these in the mensroom.
They used funds from the pot hole and road accounts.
Priortities ya know.
Of *course* it has a dock for the iPod. Because when you need to download, you need to download.
Numis for numbies. Or perhaps loo-nies.
Re: Kenneth Russell says: April 23, 2011 at 8:52 am
Down the hill, giggling with my improvised remote.
Or possibly further away. The spec sheet doesn’t list how the remote works, but does mention an FM antena. I’m guessing security between remote and toilet wasn’t high on the list of manufacturer’s priorities, but perhaps should have been. If the remote is IR, well, that installation still has LoS.
Wonder what happens if you program the music button to Götterdämmerung?
‘DJ says:
April 23, 2011 at 7:12 am
LOL!!!
Me? I like the crapper so simple a caveman can use…or a cat.’
How, if you could train the cat (or caveman) to use it, you have got in made.
I travel in and out of the San Jose airport in Silicon Valley almost weekly. When the new concourse B opened after a several year refurbishment, they had no flush eco toilets that it was claimed saved 40,000 gallons of water per year.
As of about one month ago they were all removed and traditional urinals were installed. No explanation has of yet been forthcoming.
Makes me long for an outhouse.
It’s not easy being green.
Well, Crap! Just Crap!
(somebody had to do it)
I can’t believe it – no mention of the 230V incinerating toilet at http://incinolet.com/ . There must be someone in WUWT-world using one! My father bought two of these for guest cabins at a home he built. (The idea was one for my family, one for my sister’s family, and he’d have piece and quiet at night.) While the advertising says “no odor,” that’s dependent on good ventilation which hadn’t been done in part because of the advertising saying “No odor!”
Actually it’s a good device, and useful in several situations, especially if you have electricity but not water/septic.
Basically, you poop into a paper cone like an oversized coffee filter (but not porous!), cycle a lever to drop things into the combustion chamber and then or when you leave, push the start button. 3600 watts heats and combusts the waste, leaving just ash. And expelling CO2 at home and at the power plant.
Note – no water for flushing. About 1.5 kwh/cycle. $1,800 – buy three for the price of a single Numi.
Hot model girlfriend and smoggy daytime urban air not included.
Any nice toy is the antithesis of the Green Dream. The Green Dream demands that any tech the Amish don’t use be banned to all except the politically correct leftist elite.
Do the right thing for Gaia – mail your crap in a box to Greenpeace and let them deal with it
I’ve heard one problem with these auto-open-close toilets is that if a man is standing to urinate, it has a tendency to decide to close up, leading to much interesting dancing and wet pants – much to the amusement of your wife.
sick
The Germans introduced a version of this this about ten years ago. Its advertising tag line translated to “Tired of smearing?”
I wonder if they’ll offer the couple’s version.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-love-toilet/1056587/
If so, I’m in. We’re a close family.
As an employee of the maker, I withhold comment on that (really cool gadget). it does exactly what a $6400 toilet should do….wipes your @$$ for you.
Dennis Wingo says:
April 23, 2011 at 12:10 pm
I travel in and out of the San Jose airport in Silicon Valley almost weekly. When the new concourse B opened after a several year refurbishment, they had no flush eco toilets that it was claimed saved 40,000 gallons of water per year.
As of about one month ago they were all removed and traditional urinals were installed. No explanation has of yet been forthcoming.
If they were anything like the auto flush toilets we have at the airport I work at, they actualy use twice as much water as a standard toilet. Pardon the following disgusting mental images….. As soon as you finish your busuiness and stand up the toilet flushes, you then wipe throwing the paper into the bowl and then have to push a button to manual flush again anyway.
Grumpy Old Man says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:53 am
It’s not nearly as green as an old telephone diretory and a spade. Why am I reminded of NASA spending $millions developing a pen which would work in freefall while the Russians used a lead pencil on a bit of string?
Now this is an urban myth, it was the Fischer company who paid for developing this pen, they only sold a small amount of space pens to Nasa and USSR, but everyone wanted to have a original space pen as used by Nasa, so it became a commercial succes.
Both Nasa and the Russian knew that using (mechanical) pencils is not a smart thing to do in a spacecraft, broken off graphite tips and sensitive electronics and such.
As for heated toiletseats, oh yes!!!
amicus curiae says:
April 23, 2011 at 7:08 am
jones says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:48 am
It’s an iPOOP….
==========
the winner:-)
JB Williamson says:
Seconded!!!
==============
Turded!!!
$6,400 now, but wait a few years: $640 at Home Depot. Technology always gets cheaper.
I’m waiting until they develop one that’s self-cleaning, and doesn’t amplify sound.
/Mr Lynn
As a guy with a few extra years and a few extra miles on himself, it doesn’t appear that the thing opens fast enough to accommodate some of the situations I encounter around my house.
Wouldn’t it be great if this thing worked on biofuel produced by the ‘waste’ that it handles? Now THAT would be something to brag about to your green girlfriend.
(and if she wasn’t thinking green, she would probably be turning green…)
Thomas Crapper, who bestowed with his invention such a boon on the human race, rightly has a memorial in the main cloister of Westminter Abbey.
Hot Models…
I’ve dated some; even had one live with me for a time.
I’ve gone back to standard women, now and life is so much better.
‘Some greenists say we should be “…radically abandoning the flush toilet – one of the world’s most destructive habits, absorbing 40% of water available for domestic consumption and contaminating everything in its way”.’
Right! We need that water to grow corn to make food more expensive and gasoline less efficient!
So rich people like surrounding their toilet with ceiling to floor windows? Then dress up elegantly and stand by it?
A Saturday Night Live skit could easily be made from that video.
Luther Wu says:
April 23, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Hot Models…
I’ve dated some; even had one live with me for a time.
I’ve gone back to standard women, now and life is so much better.
I never lived with one, but dated three of them. One of them was told by Linda Evangelista she looked better than herself. Another was Helmut Newton’s favorite model. They really did look great. But I agree with you— just give me a regular, everyday girl. It’s so hard to make them models happy!
========================================================
Or did you mean a Kohler toilet? just kidding
I used to date a real beauty, until she sprang a leak.☺
Now the real question is: how many will Al Gore, Sheryl Crowe, and Leonardo DiCaprio buy?
Michael Crichton on his rich friends and how they view sacrifice for saving the world:
1:12 video
Nuke says:
April 23, 2011 at 12:27 pm
It’s not easy being green.
===========================================================
OMG, funny! QOTW!
I’m surprised they haven’t suggested a feces sequestration system involving an elaborate series of tubes.
Motion detection for the lid seems a little late to me.
Robert, they only told you it was a one-way mirror.
Luther Wu says:
April 23, 2011 at 2:32 pm
“Hot Models…I’ve dated some; even had one live with me for a time.
I’ve gone back to standard women, now and life is so much better.”
Though the product being marketed through these ads might be downright silly, the ads perform a kind of public service. If you think you want that kind of woman, think long and hard.
The home is the Case Study House #22, made famous in a Life magazine photo taken by Julius Shulman. Indeed it was used in the movie Galaxy Quest.
3% of Japanese household electricity consumptioin is used on operating their toilets. Theirs is truly an advanced society.
Just back from travelling in rural Yunnan, the hole in the ground seemed to work OK.
Al Gore has 6 fireplaces in his new beachfront villa. I’m sure 6 of these toilets is no problemo! Hollywood eco-hypocrites would have no problem purchasing this utter waste of waste. What a piece of shite!
My favourite ‘recycling’ toilet was in Goa, India, a great many years ago. It was a simple squat toilet with a slope for the waste to flow, or roll, down. It was then happily consumed by a pig!
I was alerted to the situation on the first use when the resident pig became a little impatient and went to the source to see was taking so long. Having a pig’s snout sniffing at your nether regions certainly gets things moving, in my experience!
100% recycled as the pigs are then eaten. I avoided pork in my stay there. I’d recommend the same to any visitor.
Ray said: It’s the Bidet 2.0
No…the Biden 2.0
One aspect of the unit that I found puzzling was that the end of the bidet wand seems to be equipped with a rather bright LED light. I may be a bit dense, but I’m having a hard time imagining the the point of this add-on. I didn’t see any mention of drop down rearview mirrors where you could check the progress of the bidet function. Or possibly it’s a nod to the modern tendency to dispense with pubic hair. The light would allow one to check for developing five o’clock shadow. Have I missed some obvious point? Help me out here.
“Dedicated circuit required, protected with Class A Ground-Fault Circuit-Interrupter (GFCI) or Residual Current Device (RCD)”
Yup.
Good idea….or this might happen:
http://www.buzzhumor.com/videos/28102/Idiot_Pissing_On_Electric_Fence
Or we could just stay with the ‘analog’ version of the Toilet.
I think a sleek plumbing fixture like this one deserves a suave French name. I nominate “Lew du Pew”.
So many questions…
Just looking at the feature list… what? no cup-holders? Even American car companies provide cup holders. Maybe some laid-off former GM/Ford/AMC product marketeers helped design this “bell&whistle”-laden contraption. Wonder if it actually performs its primary function…
Lots of potential for mischief w/a FM-band remote, glass-walled s**t-house, and fun-loving roommates.
If it does have a Twitter feed, are they still known as “tweets”?
Facebook. Hmmm… New meaning for the Facebook wall feature.
Didn’t the TOTO Washlet and Ultimate models have these features many years ago?
On composting toilets — Clivus Multrum since 1973. Long drop from the 2nd or 3rd floor (or 1st or 2nd floor up), and you *do* want a “straight shot” down to the composting tank.
Yep on those “flushless”, “water”-less urinals. New building in Philadelphia installed those green things. Didn’t take long for the shiny new building to smell like an outhouse, or over-full Porta-Potti. Revenge of the plumbers union.
I think I just found my new office chair. What a timesaver!
tesla_x says:
April 23, 2011 at 5:51 pm
“Dedicated circuit required, protected with Class A Ground-Fault Circuit-Interrupter (GFCI) or Residual Current Device (RCD)”
Yup.
Good idea….or this might happen:
http://www.buzzhumor.com/videos/28102/Idiot_Pissing_On_Electric_Fence
BITD, when I was running a survey crew for the county highway department, in the early 70s, we actually talked a couple of my more brain dead rodmen into attempting that trick. The results were similar, if somewhat less dramatic. The accompanying bout of ROTGL helped prove Hannah Arendt’s point about the banality of evil.
They should have called it the “Crapper 9000”!
Also should charge $9000.00 for it because if someone has more than 6k to
spend on a crapper why not take a couple more Gs from them?
How foolish to think Thomas Crapper is turning over in his grave! What nonsense!!!
He’s swirling round, and round, and round…..
So is he going to sit in the living room and watch his supermodel girlfriend use it … while he tweaks with the remote control?
For those who can afford it, the i-Toilet seems a good investment. After all,
you are likely to use it very day and it is much less expensive than the Ferrari.
Speaking of Narita airport, I remember the first time I pushed the squirt
button, unfortunately, while it was on firehose setting. But I have come
to appreciate the techo toilets in Japan. When I was visiting Niigata, in
winter, I was dreading the visit to the bog. Energy costs are high in Japan,
so they do not heat the corridors and toilets, and Niigata is on the coast
that looks to Siberia. Fortunately, they heat the one part of the toilet that
most matters, namely the seat!
mmmm toilet flushing does use a lot of water, but it isnt lost to space, it goes to a river or the sea where it evaporates and falls back as rain recharging the very sources it came from – its an endless cycle that will last forever – its called the hydrological cycle – why can greens not fathom this when school children pick it up in minutes?
The same can be said for the tissue, firstly the more demand, the trees we plant – I thought trees were a good thing in the green brigades eyes? Ok so when they are big enough we cut them down and make them into tissue, but most that tissue is collected at the treatment plant via mechanically raked (sometimes manual) screens where it is than put back in the ground for future trees to use as nutrients, some going to land fill and some being applied direct to land to compost along with other solids material collected. The very fine tissue that gets through the screens either settles out and also goes to land or it makes it to the ocean / river where it forms nutrients for the life downstream that flourishes on the plumes of nutrients carried by rivers / ocean. Remember rivers are full of nutrients naturally and carry lots of leaf litter, this forms the food for wildlife in estuaries, or at river mouths etc…. we are merely copying nature or working with it – wastewater engineering is nothing more than our attempt to use natural systems / process for our own benefit – and if it isnt collected in a sewer and instead composted, its no different though the perception may be different in some peoples eyes!
For every fox out there trying to sell a fashionable electric gadget we dont really need, there is also a fox selling “green”products that we dont really need to those that wont buy the flashy product!
Does the seat always elevate? I mean, what would happen after too many shooters, and one needs to ralph? I wouldn’t want to be trapped in this thing in a drunken stupor.. not being able to hold one’s booze is demeaning enough without having to be rescued. Having the bidet might be good for rinsing one’s mouth from the residual appetizers afterwards. It that why one can choose between two elevations… if the first stream sprays the forehead, hit the other button?
When I finished watching the video, one of the “Next Up” choices was the horrible “Friday” by Rebecca Black! How appropriate. If you have not heard of this song, you are lucky. Oh, and even my 14 year old daughter thought the lid opened way too slow.
If it was an iToilet, it would be secretly tracking your “movements” and sending them back to Apple headquarters.
Jer0me
I feel sick now. Thanks Jerome.
What do you do if your toilet gets a virus? What if Skynet becomes self-aware and uses your toilet to make you the first Terminator?!
Saving the world comes with risky decisions.
From David Falkner on April 23, 2011 at 11:17 pm:
Skynet would likely just use the opportunity to try to kill you. Might not be that hard with enough water pressure, just deploy the bidet arm, shoot upwards and inside, puncture your colon, wreck enough blood vessels… You could bleed out while sitting there.
Of course, as manufactured, there’s likely some pressure regulating mechanism to overcome, although using a narrow “stream” nozzle rather than a wide “spray” nozzle may be sufficient…
Wow, that’d be a cool CSI episode, death by automated toilet. “Looks like they got what they deserved in the end.”
Can I control my neighbours iBog with my remote? There could be some serious fun had if the remotes are interchangeable.
It’s been said before but the Japanese have cornered the market for cheap, smart crappers. This is just just, I dunno, errrm…..shit! Can I say that out loud?
Jim says:
April 23, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Speaking of Narita airport, I remember the first time I pushed the squirt
button, unfortunately, while it was on firehose setting.
http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u82/Robertinjapan/Firehose.jpg
Well, 140+ posts later, I hope we’re getting all this outhouse humor out of our system.
A subject dear to my heart, since the Christchurch NZ earthquake took out a good deal of the sewerage infrastructure.
There’s some great examples of Kiwi ingenuity shown on this website
http://www.showusyourlongdrop.co.nz/
All very planet friendly, but not much to impress your hot model chick with though.
Yeah but…
Where’s the crossword puzzle ?
Potty time is not potty time without the NY Times Sunday crossword.
And what happens if the power goes out…
Potty no flushy in brownouts ? (pun intended)
Certainly not as good as Pruzy’s Pot- Theodore Sturgeon’s hilarious entry in a 1972 issue of National Lampoon. I wish I still had my copy…
PaulH says:
April 23, 2011 at 7:44 am
Much like the hot model girlfriend, it looks rather expensive to keep.
I have to say I’m sceptical about that. (What else on this blog?) I now firmly believe she is in fact a shop dummy – as she is standing in exactly the same pose in both photos (even down to her purse).
What? no medical analysis as in some British and Japanese toilets?
Re the question of what one does when the power goes out, perhaps the spade and catalogue could be situated in the roof-top garden that is trendy these days (hopefully the roof covering is more reliable than the typical flat roof’s gravel and tar construction). But much of the world has type of facility located a cold walk away in winter weather.
Otherwise, Kohler’s advertising and web site are an indication that investing in that company would be unwise – fails to communicate essence of product. Even Playboy magazine would do better than that, I suspect.
(BTW, at least some of the high-price stuff the military bought was actually not, just bad accounting. Lump a hydraulic test stand and a pair of pliers in the same purchase, then average the non-recurring costs such as design and instruction manual over all items. Bureaucratic incompetence.)