IPCC now in Bizarroland: Pachauri releases "smutty" romance novel

Just when you think things can’t get any more bizarre with the IPCC, having just learned that the IPPC 2007 report used magazine articles for references, head of the IPCC, Dr. Rajenda Pachauri, provides comedy gold. According to the UK Telegraph, he’s just released what they describe as a “smutty” romance novel, Return to Almora laced with steamy sex, lots of sex. Oh, and Shirley MacLaine.

Here’s the good doctor, grinning like a Cheshire cat at his book launch in India on January 10th.

Click for more photos from his book release

The Telegraph’s Robert Mendick and Amrit Dhillon in Delhi write:

As the UN’s climate change chief, Dr Rajendra Pachauri has spent his career writing only the driest of academic articles. But the latest offering from the chairman of the UN’s climate change panel is an altogether racier tome.

Some might even suggest Dr Pachauri’s first novel is frankly smutty.

WARNING ADULT CONTENT FOLLOWS:

(First time I’ve had to do that on WUWT)

Return to Almora, published in Dr Pachauri’s native India earlier this month, tells the story of Sanjay Nath, an academic in his 60s reminiscing on his “spiritual journey” through India, Peru and the US.

click for bookseller

On the way he encounters, among others, Shirley MacLaine, the actress, who appears as a character in the book. While relations between Sanjay and MacLaine remain platonic, he enjoys sex – a lot of sex – with a lot of women.

In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter.

The book, which makes reference to the Kama Sutra, starts promisingly enough as it tells the story of a climate expert with a lament for the denuded mountain slopes of Nainital, in northern India, where deforestation by the timber mafia and politicians has “endangered the fragile ecosystem”.

But talk of “denuding” is a clue of what is to come.

By page 16, Sanjay is ready for his first liaison with May in a hotel room in Nainital. “She then led him into the bedroom,” writes Dr Pachauri.

“She removed her gown, slipped off her nightie and slid under the quilt on his bed… Sanjay put his arms around her and kissed her, first with quick caresses and then the kisses becoming longer and more passionate.

“May slipped his clothes off one by one, removing her lips from his for no more than a second or two.

“Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sandy, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated?’.”

More follows, including Sanjay and friends queuing to have sexual encounters with Sajni, an impoverished but willing local: “Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before … He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”

Take a cold shower, and read the rest of the steamy  (possibly a water vapor feedback loop) novel at the Telegraph here

Note to the U.N. – Time to kick Pachy to the curb, he’s not just toast now, he’s carbonized.

In other news, The Love Guru has this relevant quote from a hockey team member: “there’s no connection between hockey and my love life”

UPDATE: Steve McIntyre quips:

In breaking news, Vivid Entertainment has bought the film rights to the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report. They plan to give new meaning to the terms Working Group 1, Working Group 2 and Working Group 3. They promise to give “peer review” an entirely new interpretation.


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January 31, 2010 6:35 pm

I hope it’s not an autobiography.

Editor
January 31, 2010 6:41 pm

Any bets on how soon Pachy will guest host a “Girls Gone Wild” video?

Pamela Gray
January 31, 2010 6:46 pm

Douglas, I would love to meet you and your wife. I have chairs waiting at my table at the Lostine Tavern in Wallowa County this coming Friday and every Friday. It seems a shame that we work in the same wonderful remote corner of Northeast Oregon and have never met. I guarantee that my C (my best friend and mate) and I will make merry with you at the local family friendly tavern in Lostine. He’s a talker and one of his favorite subjects is global warming. While it is cold outside, he keeps me globally warm. There is a great little motel in Wallowa plus the Best Western above Enterprise that offer grand accommodations. The one in Wallowa is quaint and cute (I’ve stayed there). The one in Enterprise has an indoor pool. In fact that pool is the only non-privately owned pool in the County. Besides the lake. The former is heated. The latter is fed by glaciers.

Sam
January 31, 2010 8:09 pm

“We’ve reached a tupping point” oh, ROFL! I have so enjoyed this thread
Just to say – another FIRST: Climate change is on the FRONT PAGE of the Telegraph today, Monday. I saw it flashed up on the TV after midnight.

Richard
January 31, 2010 8:38 pm

Lucy Skywalker (14:26:37) : Carlos RP (09:07:03) : Pachauri interviewed in AlJazeera. dated jan 30 2010

“There are some skeptics and their numbers are dwindling rapidly…”
..there was actually something about him I liked. I listened, and a lot of what he said, and how he spoke, I liked…He was beautifully dressed, expensive suit but he looked distinguished. He expressed values I was comfortable with. He seemed at peace with himself. .. He didn’t look like Caveman. He had no body language of lying through his teeth ..– he felt genuine.

I listened to about half of that. He can afford to be well dressed. I strongly disagree about body language. His eyes clearly gave away he was lying, when he was, which included that bit about diminishing numbers, but also about how self righteous he was to express his own opinions. (It helps my business and I can pretend to be philanthropic at the same time). There were parts where he wasnt lying such as when he talks about the partition and bits about his family. When questioned about his Carbon footprint – he looks down – consoles himself, as does Al Gore, that he is using his extensive carbon footprint to try and get others to reduce theirs. Thats as far as I listened.
As for sex appeal, I suppose you would know better from a womans point of view. To me he looks like a gargoyle, maybe some women would find that attractive.

January 31, 2010 9:31 pm

Classic.
Pachauri has reverted to his previous persona of India Railways engineer. His world-class reputation is perhaps currently in a bit of jeopardy. Why would you release a book that hampers it further? Shoot yourself in the foot, will ya? He should have waited until his popularity turned to notoriety, released the book then and made millions from our voyeuristic interest in the man himself.
Why is he going down? Check out the scientific and political facts (in a palatable form) at:
http://www.climatereview.net

Jeff B.
January 31, 2010 9:40 pm

I think Freud would have enjoyed studying Pachuri. Methinks the good doctor is projecting.

Aunty Freeze
February 1, 2010 1:47 am

u.k.(us) (17:10:10) :
couldn’t sell his climate “science”, so he thought he would “sex it up”.
Gone from ‘climate science’ to ‘climax science’. Oh dear enough of that…..

Susan A
February 1, 2010 4:11 am

Oh please people – my cup runneth over – I can’t keep throwing up !
It’s so sad – he probably believes it himself. Delusions of his own unbelievable prowess – Yech! Apologies to Queen:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E-WasNzVpI&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Magnus A
February 1, 2010 4:24 am

CilmateReview (21:31:27). A very good movie on this topic! I hope it’s okay to post the trailer:

Roger Knights
February 1, 2010 4:25 am

My pipeline’s where your heat’s been hiding, Yowsa!

Phil M
February 1, 2010 9:01 am

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this: I haven’t the time to read 300+ comments.
But on this very website I just saw an advertisement for something to do with “Namoi Watts” and the “50 Sexiest Women of Science Fiction”.
I guess what I can’t get from Pauchari, I can get from Anthony.
🙂
[No, you get it from Google, which is entirely responsible for which ads are posted. ~dbs, mod]

Justa Joe
February 1, 2010 9:32 am

Rajenda Pachauri is a playa from the Himalayas.

Phil M
February 1, 2010 10:08 am

[No, you get it from Google, which is entirely responsible for which ads are posted. ~dbs, mod]
Interesting. So Anthony doesn’t take responsibility for all of the material that appears on his website? I was assuming he entered into some sort of contractual agreement with Google Ads, which would be an implicit approval of all advertisements that appear.

kwik
February 1, 2010 11:10 am

Aha, Lucy!!!
So you are one of these hippie-chicks that get soft knee’s when you look into the eyes of a Love Guru from India!!!
hehe.
Just kidding!
I inspected your website;
http://www.greenworldtrust.org.uk/Science/Curious.htm
What a fantastic overview!
I will send the link to my sons science teacher.

Sam
February 1, 2010 12:07 pm

Regarding my post last night:
“Just to say – another FIRST: Climate change is on the FRONT PAGE of the Telegraph today, Monday. I saw it flashed up on the TV after midnight.”
This was definitely the case on BB2 24hr News last night sometime after midnight – the front page was held up up and I caught the very large headline ‘Climate…’ but as I was glancing up form my laptop and had the subtitles on (I’a a bit deaf and didn’t want to kep the neighbours up!) I missed seeing the whole page. But it WAS def nealry whole page, and a very big lead.
I went over to the Telegraph website a bit later to see what it was all about – c3am – but nothing, nada, nix on ‘Climate’. Ditto today, I checked the print version – nothing!
I’d dearly love to know what the front page was, which was pulled; and why

vadinho
February 1, 2010 12:59 pm

Pachauri should enter his fiction, which is as limp as an unfortunate and disconsolate eel forlornly hanging by the shreds of his credibility from a pitiable icicle which is dejectedly melting from the curse of civilization and comfort, along with his equally limp scientific drivel, in the Bulwer-Litton contest. (Forgive me. that is the best I can do)
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

Ron
February 1, 2010 7:12 pm

Eeegad, it’s Rasputin!

Buffy Minton
February 2, 2010 3:17 am

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Phil M (10:08:52) :
[No, you get it from Google, which is entirely responsible for which ads are posted. ~dbs, mod]
Interesting. So Anthony doesn’t take responsibility for all of the material that appears on his website? I was assuming he entered into some sort of contractual agreement with Google Ads, which would be an implicit approval of all advertisements that appear.
<<<<<<<<<
Hey there Phil!
I don't get any dirty adverts when I look at this story, but I believe that the Google ads, that you get, are mainly based on your search history. I just get adverts for firewood and heating systems. Try deleting some of your browser history or cookies from any adult sites you regularly use.

February 2, 2010 6:52 am

Maybe I should try plagiarising Pachauri and his update on the Kama Sutra. Why should he get all the cash? It should be easy to mimic his style. Just imagine I’m 14 again. If I can just get started …
How about a title like ‘The Himalayan Glaciers Moved For Her’?

Brian G Valentine
February 2, 2010 8:16 am

I can list a hundred questionable things Choo Choo has done, but I cannot name one thing he has said or done that actually benefited humanity or anything he has done that was not out of self-promotion.
I offer the same assessment of Albert Gore.
[WHAT IS IT that people SEE in these creeps? I am convinced, that I could answer that, it would bring me a long way to my goal of ridding the world of the AGW scare.]

February 2, 2010 11:50 am

Did Pachuri’s business interest contribute to take down the Icelandic economy?
He was a board member of Glitnir’s Sustainable Future Fund.

February 2, 2010 11:53 am

Did Pachuri’s business interest contribute to take down the Icelandic economy?
He was a board member of Glitnir’s Sustainable Future Fund.

ben benar
February 2, 2010 2:08 pm

We have known for some time that Dr. Pachauri has a lively imagination. Now he has found a new outlet for it which may create enjoyment with those who like his style.
Let him get the Nobel Prize of Literature and let us hope that he will consentrate writing smutty novels and give up the silly idea about global warming. Do not feel ashamed, it was a wonderful prank, but let us now get on with our lives, including our lovelives!

CodeTech
February 2, 2010 3:22 pm

Buffy Minton (03:17:25) :
Hey there Phil!
I don’t get any dirty adverts when I look at this story, but I believe that the Google ads, that you get, are mainly based on your search history. I just get adverts for firewood and heating systems. Try deleting some of your browser history or cookies from any adult sites you regularly use.

So, um, wood and heat… gotcha…
I don’t get any ads, I’ve “opted out” of everything google. Everything is blocked, even analytics… Funny thing, nobody at the office here is complaining…

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