Climate control – lather, rinse, repeat

We always talk about and are lectured to about how “weather is not climate”. Of course that’s a flexible meme, because now when the weather turns hot or bad, climate is to blame.

I had to go to Walmart today to pick up something, and as I walked down the aisles looking for things, this jumped out at me. Unfortunately, it was so ridiculous, it made me laugh out loud, and I got stares. So, I’m sharing this humor with you.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before some enterprising company did this.

climate_control_shampoo

http://www.tresemme.com/Products/Climate-Control/Climate-Control-Shampoo/

Gotta love that “defend your hair against bad weather” line.  Now even when CO2 or weather modification driven hordes of tornadoes descend upon us in retaliation for our climate sins, we can avoid bad hair days.

Of course, shampoo only goes so far. They need “climate control body spray” to really be effective. /sarc

99 thoughts on “Climate control – lather, rinse, repeat

  1. TRESemme’
    Used By Professionals
    NEW
    Advanced Formula
    Climate Control
    SHAMPOO

    Freaking priceless! Marketing gone berserk.

  2. Anthony – I am shocked, shocked to find you shopping at Walmart. With all your big oil funded millions, don’t you have -people- to do that for you?? And can’t you afford to have them shop at a more upscale location? Target?? :-) :-) 8-)

  3. Translation – Use it!
    you might get killed by a hurricane/tornado/storm/ice age/solar flare/ etc, etc – BUT at least ypu hair will look good?

    the best bit of this will be extracing the urine out of anyone who buys it!

  4. You’ve Gotta Wash That Mann Right Out of Your Hair.

    From The Movie AGW Unspecific

  5. That looks like a product I need to try. Rapid changes of climate from all the travel that I do makes my hair look like I got parole just as the warden pulled the switch.

  6. All those millions of bubbles now captures 400 ppm of CO2 and can be safely disposed off.

    Now we can all do our bit for carbon sequestration and the planet while at the same time ensuring we are LOOKING GOOD .

    What’s not to like?

  7. “Just curious, how much does it cost?”
    What does it matter if it can save the planet?

  8. I love free enterprise. Suckers will buy this and someone will get rich. Good for them.

  9. Climate control – rinse, lather, repeat
    =============================================
    Will the madness never end!!

  10. This shampoo should sell in the Ozarks we have a lot of climate change. We get cold from Colorado, heat from Texas, rainouts from the Gulf of Mexico, etc. A young married man from the Ozarks ordered breakfast while on a job away from home. He ordered the eggs fried hard, bacon burned to a crisp and the biscuits scorched black. The waitress said that she had never taken an order like that. “Do you want anything else?” “Yes… frizz up your hair and sit across from me. I’m homesick!”

  11. A little OT but we have a brand of bottled water in Australia that assures us it is “suitable for vegans and vegetarians”.

  12. David Joss of Downunder says:
    May 18, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    A little OT but we have a brand of bottled water in Australia that assures us it is “suitable for vegans and vegetarians”.

    =================================================================
    Then it must not contain any dihydrogen monoxide.

    http://www.dhmo.org/

    (I know. Old as the hills.)

  13. Shampoo, Advanced Formula, Climate Control?
    No!
    Get me a barbecue with Advanced System Climate Control, then I’ll be happy.

  14. Now all we need is a breath mint that neutralizes our CO2, and an antacid is gets rid of the methane.

  15. OT

    It seems the Australian “ABC” is making posting a false claim regarding the Cook consensus paper here:

    http://www.abc.net.au/environment/articles/2013/05/16/3759876.htm

    The claim is: “97% of scientific papers relating to climate change share the view that humans are the cause. ”

    This is false. The Cook paper can only claim that “Among abstracts expressing a position on AGW, 97.1% endorsed the consensus position that humans are causing global warming.”

    “scientific papers relating to climate change” does not mean the same as specifically “expressing a position on AGW”
    The ABC tax payer founded website is giving the reader the impression that “97% of scientific papers relating to climate change share the view that humans are the cause. ” How can that be if 66% of the papers surveyed don’t even mention it!

    They have no shame, and this settles it.

  16. Climate Control shampoo? There is finally something that’ll keep my thick mane from looking like I’ve been out in a hurricane?

    Oh wait, my name is not Mann, Hansen, Romm or Cook. I’ll have to wait for the Weather Control shampoo since I know the difference!

    (Plus I have far more working scalp follicles than all four together, so I have to get the right one!)

  17. “… slogan competition…” [Jon at 2:49PM, 5/18/13]

    Okay! How about: “ 97% of Climate Scientists Agree… “ LOL.

    [sorry to all the other 500 WUWT posters who will think of that one, too]
    ******************************************************************

    @Gunga Din, maybe it’s an oldy but I had never heard it and it is definitely a goody. LOL. Yeah, no nasty CHEMICALS.

  18. Climatology (like ANY cult) is all about: CONTROL (and “manageability”)

    Thanks for sharing, A–th–y.

    ***********************
    A little ad for the above:
    ________________________________________________
    “My hair was a wreck #[:O(]
    … until… I used Climate Control Shampoo.” @[:o)]
    (notice, it even made the model’s nose smaller!)
    _________________________________________

    ***********
    Joseph A. Olsen, you seem like a cool fellow. I’d like to
    suggest you describe yourself more flatteringly as having
    a “Bruce Willis haircut” — he looks gooooo-d.
    ********************
    Hey, Lawrence Jenkins, clever. (just wanted you to realize someone enjoyed your wit — can’t comment on ALL the witty posts, though, so I’ll end with yours)

  19. A chemist I worked with once who had worked for a shampoo maker described to me the hilarious marketing-driven process by which new shampoos are developed. How well the shampoo worked or what it was really good for was almost irrelevant.

  20. And there’s the classic advertisement of them running towards each other through the foam on the beach – while the seas are about to inundate us.

    Is the second wash and rinse ‘greenwashing?”

  21. Over on BusinessGreen, one of the side panels carries this link;

    Cut your energy bills and carbon footprint with the world’s greenest hand-dryer

    This exclusive whitepaper explains how brushless motor technology differs from conventional brushed motors to deliver huge energy efficiency savings, longer life, and increased reliability.

    Saving on your electricity bill is fine but what difference is it going to make to the #x of nuclear bombs sitting under the oceans or whatever the ‘scare de jour’ is from the warmist hymn book for May.

  22. What’s wrong with some enterprising capitalist trying to make a few bucks off the eco-nuts?

  23. Laurie Bowen says:
    May 18, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    Just curious, how much does it cost?
    ————————————————————————————————————————
    According to Walmart.com, $3.48/32 oz.

    They also sell the conditioner, finishing spray and mousse. The mousse is not well reviewed because people seem to have a hard time getting it out of the can.

  24. MattS said on May 18, 2013 at 3:48 pm:

    What’s wrong with some enterprising capitalist trying to make a few bucks off the eco-nuts?

    Nothing, if the eco-nuts would only spend their own money. But they like to community organize everyone into paying their fair share, plus half of their own share.

    I can imagine the campaign speeches in five years if this stuff becomes trendy:

    It is a right of poor people everywhere in this great country, that they too can have good looking manageable hair.

    It is the duty of government to tax the evil energy companies who have brought this climate change down upon our tousled heads, to force them to provide this remedy to those they have placed in need.

    I have a dream, that all our children shall have beautiful hair, of all colors, no matter their color.

    This is America, our country, we are demanding the hair that is rightfully ours, granted us by the Unrevealed Deity and the Founding Parental Units of our great land!

  25. The next wave of climate change inspired toiletries and clothes will soon hit stores near you. Climate controlled outer wear. Climate controlled underwear. Coats rated for Extreme Weird Weather just like my Jeep is “Trail Rated”. We are in for some hilarious stuff folks!!!!

  26. It is the insidiousness, that causes hackles to raise.
    Is there a shampoo for that ?

  27. Maybe the formulation of this Climate Control Shampoo will effectively cleanse the AGW propaganda from the heads of those who use it.

    One can only hope.

  28. I’m waiting for the reintroduction of environmentally friendly lightbulbs – the real ones, without mercury vapour, so that you don’t have to evacuate children and pregnant women if one breaks.

  29. Greg Goodman says:
    May 18, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    Hilarious.

    How about sending Mike Mann a bottle with next year’s calendar ?
    ——————————————————————
    Luckily I`d finished My coffee before reading that , 10/10

  30. Michael Mann made a deal with the… spiritual world. He traded his hair for brains. Folks here think that’s a raw deal. So he possibly could get arrested for mooning if he sticks his head out the window, that’d be about it. So smart, nothing sticks, way too slippery.

  31. “We are in for some hilarious stuff folks!!!!” [Pamela Gray]

    Aaand, here it is:

    “The mousse is not well reviewed because people seem to have a hard time getting it out of the can.” [Craig W. 4:24PM]

    I haven’t laughed that hard in days. Thanks, Mr. W..

  32. I note the Scampoo also covers climate protection UV rays, static, humidity and I can’t read the end one – maybe its made of CO2 or keeps out the missing heat. Oh boy! CAGW wailers have got it coming. I suspect that soon Mikey, Jimmy, Kevvy, and friends will be getting calls for endorsements.

  33. Now if only there was an IRS equivalent. I’d like to wash that lot out of my hair.

  34. Shopping at Walmart, huh?

    But 97% of us prefer Dollar General, cause you don’t have to, like, get all dressed up and everything.

  35. Craig W. says:
    May 18, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    “[…] They also sell the conditioner, finishing spray and mousse. The mousse is not well reviewed because people seem to have a hard time getting it out of the can.”

    I’ve had tinned corned beef from Argentina and I didn’t have any problem with it.

  36. Last year, on an overcast and drizzly, 50 deg F Seattle grey day in northern Virginia, I was wearing my old Helly Hansen parka. The clerk at the drug store recognized the logo, which surprised me, and told me she had just given her daughter an HH bikini for an upcoming Caribbean cruise. I thought she was joking until I looked it up. Yup. Helly Hansen sells swimsuits now. That positions them for sales for any climate.

  37. Mikey will never buy the product. However, I think TRESemme missed a bet. Its advertisement should not only claim that the product protects your hair against bad climate, but also that the product is “climate friendly” in that it will protect the environment from your hair. MIkey would buy that.

  38. “Hilarious.”

    Yes a good round of laughs. But there is a dark side.

    “How about sending Mike Mann a bottle with next year’s calendar ?”

    I would advice against that.

    Observations, and ongoing, are suggesting that giving Michael E. Mann such a substance would prompt him to do this:

    Enter a few milligrams of the ‘shampoo’ into a tablespoon.

    Use as Bic lighter to heat the tablespoon from below.

    With plastic straws inserted into his nostrils Michael E. Mann inhales strongly to capture the refined ‘narcotics’ to the mucus and then to the blood stream and then to the brain.

    Mr. Michael E. Mann will repeat this many times in the … ‘session.’

    In the 1950’s ‘glue sniffing’ was a popular way to get ‘high.’ The practice was and is very common along the Appalachia and Pennsylvanian communities of the USA.

    A sad epitaph for a Mr. Michael E. Mann.

    Have a look: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inhalant_abuse

    [Shampoo … Ah …] That Smell … Can You Smell That Smell … The Smell of Death Is All Around You!

  39. Janice Moore says: May 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm
    @Gunga Din, maybe it’s an oldy but I had never heard it and it is definitely a goody. LOL. Yeah, no nasty CHEMICALS.

    Ingredients:
    water, sodium lauryl sulfate, cocamidopropyl betaine, ammonium chloride, sodium laureth sulfate, fragrance, hydrolyzed collagen, dmdm hydantoin, citric acid, tetrasodium edta, benzyl salicylate, butylphenyl methylpropianal, linalool, yellow 5, red 40, sodium chloride, polysorbate 20, blue 1, tocopheryl acetate, panthenol, ascorbic acid, niacinimide, biotin.

    But No carbon dioxide. I haven’t checked the mousse.

  40. “Now all we need is a breath mint that neutralizes our CO2, and an antacid is gets rid of the methane.”

    Reminds me of a Mark Twain bon mot:

    Someone: “Do you realize that every time I exhale some poor soul departs this world?”

    Twain: “Really? Have you tried chewing cloves?”

  41. Goode ’nuff says:
    Michael Mann made a deal with the… spiritual world. He traded his hair for brains. Folks here think that’s a raw deal.

    Well I don’t know if that’s a true story but if it is he must have been half bald to start with or he got short-changed in the deal: he only seems to got been given half a brain.

    Thinking about it, there seem to be a lot of half brained, half bald climatologists, maybe they all tried to cut the same deal and got burnt.

  42. Keith Sketchley says:
    May 18, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    Unilever has not produced MSDS (chemical safey sheet) for the products. They’ll be in trouble with EPA/FDA/…..

    Eagles killed by wind turbines don’t need to be reported so this company probably won’t have to submit an MSDS.

    Hey, maybe a whole series of regulation-free industries will grow up around products that simply begin with the name “Climate”…

    Climate Lager
    Climate Marijuana
    Climate PCBs
    Climate Coal
    Climate Asbestos
    Climate Tobacco
    Climate Nuclear
    Climate IRS
    Climate Banking
    Climate Politics
    Climate Gasoline
    Climate Fracking
    Climate Hockey Sticks.

    I think I’m onto something marketable here!

  43. It’s not just shampoo, either.

    From Ulta, we can get this: “… Big Sexy Hair Weather Proof Humidity Resistant Spray is a high-performance humidity resistant spray that promises to leave your hairstyles intact, removing any chance of humidity attacking mishaps…”

    Maybe they can get Jim Cantore as a new spokesman: “Extreme weatherman Jim Cantore reveals the latest in storm survival to help you prep for the unexpected”

  44. Amazing, and its obvious there are no climate scientists here. !!

    A climate scientist would immediately be asking:

    what’s the pay grade,?

    can I get it through a grant..?

    how much is the subsidy.?

  45. RockyRoad says:
    I think I’m onto something marketable here.

    How about

    “Climate Change Undies”

    Keeps you dry even as the sea level rises !!

  46. You don’t need it if you come from a place that doesn’t have climate.

    Imma have me some more Climate Change Soda, though, now with even more CO2.

  47. Use the shampoo, go up to Michael Mann and tell him- “I have controlled the climate by using this shampoo.” He will respond by saying that the very notion that shampoo can control climate is garbage, to which you will reply-“so is the notion that CO2 can control the climate.”

  48. Talking about climate control products, I have a large set of hockey stick shaped cocktail swizzle sticks and hockey stick shaped cocktail spikes for entertaining climate realist friends. If you are in Australia, you can borrow them for your functions. To be in keeping with green principles, they can be washed in the dishwasher. They were made with recycled materials as well!
    Other products that should make their way to market:- Climate change anti perspirant CFC free) , Climate change air conditioning system , Climate change underwear (specials available in Green) , Climate change cocktail – a cool blend of Malibu, dark rum, Lychee liqueur, kiwi syrup(optional-gives nice colour), mint, lime juice,shaken with lots of fresh glacier ice from Greenland , topped with soda and a little bit of blue curacao for cute colour and aniseed aftertaste. For added effect, serve with dry ice. Serve with hockey stick swizzle stick. Take (as with all climate change related stuff) with a pinch of salt.

  49. @Pamela Gray
    May 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm
    The next wave of climate change inspired toiletries and clothes will soon hit stores near you. Climate controlled outer wear. Climate controlled underwear.
    *************************************************************************************

    You might jest, Pamela, but less than 3 weeks ago on the BBC (what a bunch of eco/wackos) they had an item about Sheffield and its “greening”, including an interview with a Professor of Eco Bollox who stated that we should all be wearing clothes specially treated to extract Nitric Oxide from the atmosphere. He claimed that the jeans he was wearing could do this (I did check the date and, very surprisingly, it was not 1st April – maybe the broadcast was a repeat? Plenty of those on the Biased Broadcasting Corp).

    The nutty professor then went on to say that walls and roads should also be painted with this stuff, to suck the horribleness from the air. They featured a wall around a school playground (for god’s sake think of the children, etc) which had been “treated”. It looked a bit green (in the literal sense, due to incipient mossy stuff) and I thought “Yes, somebody has scammed the council nicely, there”

    And, laugh my arse off, about a week later, on another news item, I am sure that some study has declared that we actually need more sunshine (not half, in this bloody country) as it stimulates the production of nitric oxide in the body…..

    Sigh…..

  50. So it can’t be long before someone introduces food that helps neutralise all that excess co2 that we all breath in everyday due to naughty mankind.

    Chocolate that helps your body defend itself against co2 perhaps. The manufacturer can no doubt charge a price premium for it.

    As the saying goes, ‘you cannot legislate against stupidity’.

  51. Hey it could spread to other bathroom products

    The product for those times when you just can’t quite reach the sponge.

    An Inconvenient Loofah !

  52. How about Hockey Stick deodorant.

    Reaches the parts that other deodorant sticks can’t

  53. One more: The new product ‘Real Climate Soft Soap’ was today withdrawn from shelves after tens of thousands of customers complaints, that it just didn’t wash.

  54. isostatic rebound can be witnessed in action over here in the uk. as a child my family often had holidays on the lovely isle of wight, off the south coast of england across the solent from portsmouth. on the islands northern shoreline is a benedictine monastery named quarr abbey, due to the land sinking the waters of the solant are gradually encroaching onto the monastery lands. occasionally the graves and bones of long dead monks are exposed and wash away leading to local stories of ghosts roaming the beech at night. if you paddle out into the waters of the solent you will come across roman remains and further out archaeologists are diving to investigate remains from the stone age.

  55. Adverts for hair care products often have pantomime pseudo-scientists spouting technical sounding jargon with absolutely no foundation in real science. The parallels with climate science are uncanny.

  56. How about a Low Emissions Meal from McDonald’s featuring low-carb veggies less likely to result in environmental disruption?

  57. Apparently climate change / weather causes hair loss. Bwa hahahahahahah.

    Belgravia Centre
    Does the Weather Cause Hair Loss?
    With the raging storms of late and news of increased flooding and global warming, there are many reasons for combating climate change. But would it ever cross your mind that hair loss be one of them? The most common cause of hair loss is Androgenetic Alopecia, or genetic hair loss, and approximately 80% and 50% of women will suffer from the condition. But could the changing climate be triggering a new type of hair loss?

    And here’s a special offer.

    “Climate Control Mineral Tint – SPF 20 $39.00″

    http://www.raecosmetics.com/face-makeup/1001

  58. Pamela Gray says:
    May 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    The next wave of climate change inspired toiletries and clothes will soon hit stores near you. Climate controlled outer wear. Climate controlled underwear. Coats rated for Extreme Weird Weather just like my Jeep is “Trail Rated”. We are in for some hilarious stuff folks!!!!

    ==========================================================================
    I think Josh is already marketing “Lew Paper”.

  59. I saw this the other day too. But I’m sorry to say instead of laughing I muttered a few bad words. I commend you on your good attitude!

  60. Gary Pearse says:
    May 18, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    I note the Scampoo also covers climate protection UV rays, static, humidity and I can’t read the end one – maybe its made of CO2 or keeps out the missing heat. Oh boy! CAGW wailers have got it coming. I suspect that soon Mikey, Jimmy, Kevvy, and friends will be getting calls for endorsements.

    ===================================================================
    Maybe it sucks CO2 out of the atmosphere and sequesters it in the users cranium? That would explain why so many of the rank and file Mannequins are airheads!

  61. Two out of three professional Climatologists use Climate Control shampoo. When you think of poo, think of Climate Control shampoo.

  62. Pachuri has a fair crop of hair-perhaps it fertilized by al the manure in his climate control shampoo.

  63. I used to have an airconditioner with ‘Climatrol’ and speaking of controlling the climate out there I see all you zombies have been hard at work-

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/planet-oz/2013/may/17/zombie-climate-sceptic-theories-newspapers-tv

    Keep your eye on the old pea and thimble switcheroo-

    “Here’s the news from 1991 – a vanishingly small number of peer-reviewed studies in science journals argue that humans aren’t the cause of global warming.
    Here’s the news from 2013 – since 1991, less than two per cent of all peer-reviewed studies say climate change is caused by something other than human activities (that’s burning fossil fuels and digging up forests, to you and me).”

  64. - shampoo
    – conditioner
    – mousse
    – finisher
    Logical. Isn’t this the process used to write IPCC papers anyway?

  65. DirkH says:
    May 18, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    I’ll take it if it also protects the rainforest.

    It should keep the leaves from blowing off in the next storm…

  66. DennisA says:
    May 20, 2013 at 8:54 am

    DirkH says:
    May 18, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    I’ll take it if it also protects the rainforest.

    It should keep the leaves from blowing off in the next storm…

    ==================================================================
    Nah. It just keeps the Enviros in a lather.

  67. Son of a gun. . . I do have less hair than 30 years ago. . . I can’t believe I didn’t “get it” why that was until now. . .AGW!

  68. Reminds me (somehow) of the following:
    ‘Condoms aren’t that safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got run over by a bus…’

  69. Pablo says:
    May 21, 2013 at 4:20 am

    If you think that’s funny, you should get a load of Domino Certified CarbonFree sugar.

    ===========================================================
    Hmmmm…….correct me if I’m wrong but if you removed the Carbon from a molecule of table sugar wouldn’t you be left with 11 molecules of the dreaded Dihydrogen Monoxide?

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