Charles Rotter
Behold the All England Club, that august bastion of strawberries, cream—and yes, the zesty, buttery splendour of the avocado—now bowing before the high priesthood of sustainability. In a move so monumentally absurd it could only spring from the fever dreams of eco-zealots, Wimbledon’s brass have decreed that avocados must go the way of the dodo, “substitut[ing] them with crushed British peas as part of sweeping sustainability measures” .
According to The Sunday Times, the ban forms part of Wimbledon’s broader environmental strategy.
The crushed pea alternative represents a shift towards locally sourced ingredients, eliminating the environmental costs associated with importing avocados from overseas.
https://www.gbnews.com/sport/tennis/wimbledon-ban-avocado
Picture it: rows of genteel Brits, tennis whites gleaming, anticipation humming through Henman Hill—only to be handed a soggy slurry of green goop. The very fruit that wound its way onto our tables for its “nutritional value,” now banished in favour of a pasty pulp so grim it makes mushy peas look like caviar . One can almost hear the avocados weeping in their compost heaps: “We came all this way from Mexico so you could sprinkle us on your toast. And this is what we get?”
This isn’t just food politics; it’s a cultural crucifixion. Avocados are more than just a guacamole ingredient—they’re an icon of modern life, a symbol of morning ritual and brunch revelry. Yet our sustainability religion, with its unproven claims and unchecked fervour, has decreed that exotic is evil, local is holy—never mind that crushed peas taste like the aftermath of a hedge-trimming accident.
What’s next? Will they ban strawberries because they’re shipped from warm fields at the cost of a few extra carbon atoms? Will the hallowed cream be replaced with powdered oat slurry to save a teaspoon of bovine methane? If Wimbledon surrenders its most beloved indulgence for a mealy mash that even the rabbits in the grounds won’t touch, then nothing—not even tradition, taste or sanity—is safe from this eco-dictatorship.
The real tragedy isn’t that a tennis tournament has lost its avocado; it’s that a once-proud nation appears ready to let a few grams of carbon guilt rob us of simple pleasures. In the name of an “environmental strategy” that treats us like lab rats in a global-warming experiment, we’re surrendering joy and flavour at the altar of crushing carbon—a crusade that, in its earnestness, feels like a caricature of virtue itself.
So here’s to crushed peas—this year’s official taste of virtue. May they remind us that when sustainability becomes a religion, it devours everything that once made life worth living.
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How pit-ifle!
No need for avocados to be “Exotic” as they grow just fine in Van Nuys. My Papaw’s ranch (10 acres on Sharp Ave in Van Nuys) had two avocado trees that were about 75′ tall and produced over a thousand avocados every season
I believe the question is, will they grow anywhere in Britain?
But, but, but, we were promised Mediterranean weather by now, so we must be able to grow our own.
Redge (basking on a pleasantly warm summers day despite the RED WARNING issued by the Met Office and the BBC telling us how to keep cool on a BLISTERING HOT day in the UK)
Perhaps with another degree of warming added into the mix
Maybe in Van Nuys but not so much in St Ives.
You could always build 33m tall greenhouses and keep them warm (between 15°C and 30°C) and moist year round
Are the peas crushed by machines that are powered only by wind, solar and batteries? So glad that we already attended the Wimbledon event, and had strawberries and cream.
And are the pea-crushing machines made in the UK?
by a DEI approved labor force?
The Peas are crushed by the feet of the hoi polloi who don’t get to partake of their splendour.
How do these clowns get into positions where they get to make decisions…..?
Time for the revolution to commence.
They have gone for the trivial environmental cost of importing avocadoes, and have missed the elephant in the room: the competitors are imported from overseas! Make the environmentally disastrous foreign competitors stay at home, and make Wimbledon a truly British competition! The players will cycle to Wimbledon, and the crowds will have the rare experience of cheering a British winner.
In 2026, the tennis grand slam will be Australia, France, China, USA, and there will be avocadoes at all of them.
Just about everything in modern tennis is derived from petroleum, from the balls, racquets, nets, attire, and shoes and as you mention, transportation of participants and spectators.
I suppose there might be expensive “gut” strings available to wealthy players, but gone are the days of wood, and even Jimmy Connors T-2000 steel, racquets. Perhaps grips are still wrapped in leather, but most of racquets these days are comprised of synthetic composites, including carbon fiber.
Even the courts are either CO2 dependant or derived from FF extraction
Yes, asphalt probably is the best surface in terms of cost, performance and maintenance requirements. I never had the opportunity to play on grass, at least a grass surface.
Reading the article linked to, it is more about deforestation to create land to grow avocados than the carbon emission of the transport. On-line there are wildly varying estimates of how much water the production of avocados take, ranging from 70 to 320 liters per avocado. Given that the UK imports about 120 000 tons of avocado a year and the average avocado weighs 215 grams, we are talking about almost 560 million avocados a year.
Banning them at Wimbledon is going to make an unmeasurable difference, just like all the net zero policies. Pure virtue signaling.
Planting trees is deforestation? Really?
I would guess that there are less Avocado trees replacing the trees that have been removed, and less ecologic diversity. But it’s a hell of a lot better than cutting down trees for solar or wind farms.
This Rorre’s comparison of fresh English peas with jet lagged avocados curdled from flying in from the far side of the world is worthy of a mashed banger in a backwards AGAM baseball cap
They probably use canned peas. Those are the worst. The only proper way to preserve peas is flash freezing. But freezing isn’t the best for some vegetables!
Green beans get all tough and rubbery when frozen. They need to be canned. So do carrots as they get the tough and rubbery effect from being frozen.
Corn works canned or frozen, but unfortunately it’s garbage as food for humans unless it’s processed to partially break it down so our digestive systems can get at the nutrients. Look up nixtamalization. Corn kernels soaked in a mix of water and lime or wood ashes overnight, then washed. The industrial version uses enzymes. What that makes is in some places called hominy.
The treated corn is dried then ground into corn flour or masa. From that is made tortillas and other corn based foods.
And ground hominy is…grits!
I’ll have a grit.
Corn will provide more food value if combined with lima beans – succotash – there are other foods such as amaranth and quinoa and others which may be more efficient to grow and provide more food value than corn – wheat – rice but these grains are what have evolved for popular usage.
Perhaps but Rice, Corn, Wheat (flour) are far more tasty than quinoa
Oh, quinoa is good at about twenty five percent in rice. It is too fluffy to eat by itself.
The BBC keeps saying it’s going to be the warmest first day of Wimbledon evah! Another milestone on the path to climate doom. If only they’d banned the avocados a few years back.
What, perhaps 24°C (75°F)
Outer London UHI will peak out at 33°C maybe
Its about 31°C here at 5pm
Warm enough to grow avocados then
BBC says Wimbledon reached 32.9C.
Here in the South West of England on the Devon coast it is 20 Centigrade (68F) at 2pm. Wimbledon is of course in a large urban area and does get very hot.
It’s been between 30C and 32.5C over a wide area so far on the obs. I’ve seen, might squeeze a bit more yet.
Glad I am here on the cast. It was quite misty until around 11.30Am and the sun since then has been intermittent. Its VERY humid though.
Currently here in Hampshire ( about an hours drive from Wimbledon) at 3.00pm it’s 30C in the shade . Hot for England but we have been warmer . Weather records show hottest temp recorded for 30th June was in 1995 in Worcestershire at 33.8C so that’s 30 years ago. For the day before 29th June records show 35.6 C in Camden London in 1957 which is 68 years ago
They got stuck with ‘near record’ and ‘one of the hottest June days’. Dodgy Heathrow 33.1C highest claimed so far.
There are no line callers this year… All electronic.
Perhaps they’ve been reassigned to flogging mushy peas?
Mushy peas are best served with a pork pie.
some might argue fish ‘n’ chips…
UK culture seems to have gone completely off the rails. Anyone in charge of any organization, regardless of what its nominal role is, seems to be able to direct it to his or her own private manias, whether its attacking Israel, fulminating about the former empire, endorsing trans ideology, proclaiming your organization to be moving to net zero or engaging in social engineering.
The classic example is the state education sector, where they seem to have stopped teaching basic knowledge and instead redefined themselves as a sort of combination of political indoctrination shops and psychotherapists. And hand out pass grades in anything as an aside, but don’t waste too much time on that, we have to get on with the real mission….
Ofcom has ordered broadcasters to give airtime to claims that biological men are women if and when they discuss trans issues on air. Bizarre, given that the Supreme Court just settled the issue…
A letter issued by the regulator to TV stations says that the matter cannot be considered closed, despite even Sir Keir Starmer taking action such as ordering hospitals to ban trans people from female toilets in the wake of the ruling by the highest court in the land. Does Ofcom think it outranks the Supreme Court?
https://order-order.com/2025/06/30/ofcom-overrules-supreme-court-broadcasters-must-give-airtime-to-claim-biological-men-are-women/
Strange that they insist on giving air time to something that is blatantly false but deny airtime to anyone who opposes the climate change scam.
Narratives don’t always make sense. Its proportional to the level of lunacy in the premise.
Yes, its Orwellian. The logic is completely twisted. The only way to identify the class of people claimed to be women in this case is the fact that they are not in fact women. If they were women, they could not be trans women. To be a trans woman is to be a biological man. What kind of counter argument could Ofcom require a broadcaster to present to this? Are they supposed to say that some people think some men are women? This is about biology. What exactly is the different view of human reproductive biology that they are supposed to present?
Every day when one reads the UK press there is yet another bizarre episode of this sort being reported on. In another recent story it appears there is something called the ‘Queer Birth Club’. To give an idea:
The Queer Birth Club say that their “lactation competency” training, which they advertise with a cartoon of a person breastfeeding with the message “trans joy” covers “inducing lactation, feeding after top surgery, co-nursing”.
Another of their posts on social media shows a drawing of a person with a beard and a pregnancy bump with the slogan: “Boys have babies too.”
The club has previously provided “cultural awareness” training for midwives through NHS England and courses for a number of NHS trusts across the UK. It is listed as a recommended resource on several NHS websites.
The idea seems to be that you give Domperidone to men, which induces lactation and so milk of some sort is produced. Whether however milk produced by a male in response to Domperidone, in a body with normal levels of testosterone, is comparable to that produced by a woman in response to the normal hormone prolactin, thats a real question. One you are not supposed to ask.
And these people are out training midwives all over the country? By invitation?
Get with the times! Tennis is so 1990s, all the cool kids play pickle-ball now.
What happened to The Cricket?
Pickle ball is a fun sport: easy to learn, quick games, and not as physically taxing as tennis.
Old & young are taking it up.
But don’t write-off tennis just yet, Here in the US tennis participation is at an all-time high
at >25 million It has been increasing for the past 5 years; about 30% since 2000 [according to
Google’s Gemini AI] despite the even larger % growth of PB.
Recent T-shirt logo at a PB court: “Pickle Ball: Where old tennis players go to die” LOL
[Full Disclosure: I play a lot of tennis [for over 50 yrs] and occasional PB. And if you’re ever in London, take a tour of Wimbledon & their museum; it’s well worth it! And boycott whatever they put the peas into.]
Yes. Sarcasm. Yet another service I provide free of charge.
They never sleep-
Supermarkets could be forced to ensure shoppers make healthier food choices
The Fun Police never miss an opportunity.
‘Kakistocracy’ recently became the mot de jour, and it’s very apt, but I think what we actually have is a ‘coprocracy’.
And where will the power to crush the peas come from? Will it be the 14 to 19% of all UH electricity imported or the 40 to 60% of all UK electricity from imported gas? And what of that for lighting, broadcasting and other power requirements of the tournament?
And what about all the CO2 created by the manufacture of all those tennis raquets and balls? One doesn’t have to extend the logic much further to make a good case for shutting the whole thing down!
They must use all that grass to sink the CO2 but then again the grass needs to be mowed from time to time. Unless the hoi polloi cut it with scissors
I trust none of the top players will be flying in by private jet. That would never do!
And that only wooden rackets are allowed, with wood sourced from certified sustainable forests.
And this great green virtue signal will affect air temperature by exactly — nowt.
The Lords and Ladies appearing at Wimbledon must make a sacrifice in the name of their deity Net Zero; not only commoners must bear the burden.
BYOA
Bring Your Own Avocado
Pathetic scolds.
Eat your damned peas!
All we are saying…
Is give Peas a chance…
I brought Peas on Earth to work once, but nobody was interested.
Crushed peas together with spices or herbs etc are a delicious alternative to avocados but are different. As a burger, the peas are great and nice with an egg on toast but the fashionable crushed avocado on toast with an egg is a different product and very nice in its own way.
Bit mad to import avocados many thousands of miles with its effect on freshness when English peas are literally on our doorstep.
What about liberty, the right to chose without government interference and freedom the ability to figure out what is best individually? Please do not divert into criminal activities. That is not the topic.
You should be allowed to choose what you want, meat or veg. I am merely saying that the pea based products are a very pleasant alternative to Avocados and much fresher than avocados shipped thousands of miles.
Enjoy your peas.
Inquiring minds want to know how many kilos of crushed peas will be left when the event is over and how they will be disposed. Perhaps The River Thames will flow green for a week. 🤔
I wondered what they did at Wimbledon in the other 50 weeks of the year, now I know – grow peas!
I suspect that most tennis players and and those attending are colonizers.
Just have freshly shelled peas raw. They are delicious. No need to crush them at all!
Totalitarianism. There’s nothing too small for them to dictate.
It’s not the worst totalitarianism. They aren’t trying to murder all opponents, yet, but they have been using government power to try to silence us, so they clearly will become as bad as they are able.