Friday Funny – @NRDC Now it’s toilet paper causing ‘climate change’

From the ‘climate change is the universal boogeyman’ department comes this ridiculous claim from the National Resources Defense Council (NRDC)

Now the left wants to tell us how to wipe, and people aren’t having it. Some of the responses are hilarious, others are in the vein of “WTF is wrong with you people?”. They’ve really stepped in it this time.

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ScienceABC123
July 19, 2019 6:20 pm

The NRDC wants us to give up toilet paper to fight climate change??? My response is “You first!” followed by “Call me in a week, we’ll talk then.”

DDP
July 19, 2019 6:28 pm

I would happily shake the hand of every NRDC member for helping “save the planet'”after I wipe my ass without using toilet paper.

tom
July 19, 2019 6:53 pm

Well, if the SJWs stay true to form, they’ll start promoting small squares of reusable, washable cloths to replace tissue. Of course, they will be totally oblivious to the increased water pollution by washing the cloths, or that they were produced using child labor in third-world countries, out of man-made, oil-derived fibers. They’ll be saving the planet with every shi, er, defecation..

Codetrader
July 19, 2019 6:59 pm

Oh, how I wish for the Sears Catalog and a hole cut in a board to sit on in the old outhouse out back of the barn.

I guess we all could learn from the Afghan Rebels who use the 3 finger method and wiped on their trousers.

R.S. Brown
July 19, 2019 9:27 pm

All right, enough.

None of the above comments delve into the original indelicate origin of
the phrase: “The dirty end of the stick”.

This can be applied to political, philosophical, or literal situations. Here
it applies to all there categories.

Wusses…

July 19, 2019 10:18 pm

I guess we should all do the bears do (The Charmin Bears aside) and just ….
(To bad the the Chicago Bears aren’t the San Francisco Bears. That might have been funny!)

StephenP
July 20, 2019 12:06 am

A year or so ago an American Football team visiting the UK had to import some toilet paper from the US as they found that the UK paper was not up to the task.
The Romans on Hadrian’s Wall used sponges on sticks kept dipped in vinegar. The bowls can still be seen in the washroom excavations at Housesteads fort.
Why hasn’t there been a rumpus about a massive area of forest being felled each year, dried and transported across the Àtlantic to feed Drax power station.

Michael Carter
July 20, 2019 12:28 am

Ban the paper and use the left hand and water technique still used by hundreds of millions around the globe

The leftists will be right at home

ozspeaksup
Reply to  Michael Carter
July 20, 2019 3:32 am

and the pharmas will be grinning after all the extra meds are sold for the disease risks?

ozspeaksup
July 20, 2019 3:20 am

now THAT had me cacking myself laughing
thread winner;-)

Sara
July 20, 2019 5:12 am

I have the solution to the entire problem: eliminate commodes of all kinds and use slop jars instead, just like my great grandparents did. Then you take it out to the back yard, to that hole at the back of the garden and dump it in there.

What? No garden? You mean – not everyone has a back yard garden???? How is that possible?

Okay, then do what cats do. Use the litter box, dig a hole, do your business, bury it. Cat litter soaks up everything. Bag it in those leftover grocery bags and into the trash with it. Just keep your fluffy tail out of the way.

eyesonu
July 20, 2019 6:00 am

Eliminating toilet paper will create sustainable jobs and employment. Reusable mittens can be made from baby seal skins, baby penguins, polar bear cubs, and of course house cat kittens! PooBusters can be called in for those really nasty events.

I’m sure there will be a technological breakthrough to solve the toilet paper problem. Just download the latest smart phone app for the Smear-Free Assistant for sustainable living.

richard
July 20, 2019 6:03 am

and remember no washing you hands with precious water after you have wiped yours ar.. with your hand.

JS
July 20, 2019 6:11 am

Sadly, this will work. Have you been unfortunate enough to attend a gathering made of mostly young people anywhere lately? They have stopped wearing deodorant. I thought it was just me and I had become more sensitive to smells or cranky in my middle age, but then someone showed me a poll and 20 somethings and younger are abandoning deodorant for whatever reason. I smell funky young people all over the place. Now they will also smell like – well, you know. And if you say anything to them they will be self-righteous about it. Because it’s for the environment.

Jerry
July 20, 2019 8:53 am

I thought they solved this problem over twenty years ago when I saw this on a bumper sticker:
“Save the trees!
Wipe your ass with a spotted owl.”

Al Miller
July 20, 2019 9:55 am

I love it when the green goofballs do this kind of mindless human hating “crap”. This just alienates real people who are too busy working to sift through the facts to see the green deceptions. Thanks for marginalization of your goofy green causes!

Davis
July 20, 2019 10:19 am

I have lived my entire life in the boreal forest area. The trees are only good for two things, toilet paper and firewood. I don’t like it for building materials, especially Spruce, as it tends to rot fast if it gets wet, unlike Douglas Fir which doesn’t.

A professional forester, who actually knows the forest, once told me:

“At 80 to 120 years of age, the boreal forest MUST be cut down, or it burns down.”

July 20, 2019 1:00 pm

First they came for the cars.
Then they came for the lawnmowers.
Then they came for the light bulbs.
Then they came for the steaks.
Now they’re coming for …..

tiny hope
July 20, 2019 1:37 pm

clam shells anyone

Jhall
July 20, 2019 2:26 pm

Just a comment from a U. S. retired government employee. In the 1950s and 1960s, on many military installations, the toilet paper used in the toilets were made out of recycled government checks. The consistency of the toilet paper surface was that of the transparent paper used to hold film negatives, and had a very hard surface and was brittle. The way the personnel forced the management to get better paper rolls was to, when said
management brought their only toilet paper from home, to substitute some of the recycled check toilet paper for theirs. This was done in the base commander’s office. It took about a month, before supply replaced all recycled paper rolls with much better quality, real toilet paper.

Johann Wundersamer
July 22, 2019 3:58 am

What are the activists doing against the toilet paper crisis themselves – maybe they are embroidering or pressing their own toilet paper out of flax.

Interesting Why they do not give away / propagate their trick.

bobdog
July 23, 2019 3:41 am

Kinda makes one wonder what Mother Gaia uses, doesn’t it?

Bitter Clinger
July 23, 2019 5:11 am