Last Minute Friday Funny

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dodgy geezer
May 10, 2019 10:18 pm

His action?

‘Normal for Nutters’

Wally
Reply to  dodgy geezer
May 10, 2019 11:38 pm

My bet is that he also wears ladies underwear.

Hilarious video, thanks.

Greg
Reply to  Wally
May 11, 2019 4:54 am

My God, how long did it take him to catch on? How well would he fair in the wild?

If these idiots are anything to go by the human race does face extinction, but not from atmospheric CO2.
Dr Larch Maxey, OMG he has a PhD and a law degree too:
https://ecologicalland.coop/sites/ecologicalland.coop/files/LMProof.pdf

Geography PhD for “research into sustainability ” and “sustainable communities” HUH? Don’t recall that being part of geography when I was at school.

R Shearer
Reply to  Greg
May 11, 2019 6:16 am

What a weak mind he has, full of self confirming circular arguments. I would like to see him glue himself to a revolving door.

HD Hoese
Reply to  Greg
May 11, 2019 9:41 am

From the link “…..the Climate Change Act 2008 commits the UK to CO2 emissions reductions of 34% by 2020 and 80% by 2050….. Ecological Footprinting (EFP) is a widely adopted tool used to assess the sustainability of human lifestyles at every scale, including nationally, regionally and at the individual/household level…..There is a strong direction of travel towards embedding wellbeing within UK policy,… Education and learning for sustainability is also an important growth area…”

Sustainability, whatever it was called, goes back as far as there is back. Have reviewed lots of it’s history, don’t recall wellbeing equations. Or basing it on world atmospheric gases. These are not very well educated people.

Reply to  HD Hoese
May 11, 2019 4:11 pm

In the goode olde days of wooden ships and sails, travel on the seas was as green as could be . Wind-powered, with only human muscle to drive the pumps, hoist the sails, raise the anchor, and a hundred other tasks that machines do today.

And England was stripped bare of trees by the need for masts, hulls, etc.

PeterGB
Reply to  James Schrumpf
May 12, 2019 1:55 am

You have mentioned something most people are unaware of. In the good old days of green ships when no steel was used so no CO2 emitted the amount of wood required by shipwrights was mind boggling. For the construction of HMS Victory, not untypical of its time, a hundred acres of mature oak forest were cleared in addition to fir, elm and pine for decks and keel. One hundred years later wooden ships were much larger and still made from wood. Fortunately the authorities (mainly the Admiralty) had much more foresight than today’s governments and extensive planting of replacements was instigated from the 17th century until the ironclads came into service

Trevor
Reply to  HD Hoese
May 13, 2019 1:30 pm

James Schrumpf:

And also, the British navy’s need for masts prompted the almost-forgotten Pine Tree Riot in the colonies, a few years before the Revolution. Not really related to the subject at hand, but an interesting history lesson for anyone who cares to look it up. You probably didn’t learn about it in American History in High School.

william Mccall
Reply to  Greg
May 20, 2019 8:53 pm

THis brian-dead idiout wants the world to be delf-sufficient without electricirty and everything mankind has done to advance the QUALITY of life. I ask you to imagine the extent of his OWN self-sufficiency – born, first class fool!

Duane
Reply to  dodgy geezer
May 11, 2019 8:46 am

It would have been much funnier if he had actually succeeded in super gluing himself to the automatic doors.

Toto
Reply to  Duane
May 11, 2019 12:49 pm

Yes, I was looking forward to seeing the human cuckoo clock.

Dr. Dave
Reply to  dodgy geezer
May 11, 2019 8:51 am

He seems clueless about the door…. similar to Alexandria Ocrazio-Cortez, who admitted she was surprised and scared by the garbage disposal unit in her apartment. Gotta watch out for that “high tech” stuff…

Philo
Reply to  dodgy geezer
May 11, 2019 10:59 am

He proves himself a lousy problem solver. His education went to waste.
I saw one attempt and thought “just walk up to the door, reach around the edge, and glue away.”

It’s gonna hurt like hell when the door closes and some skin get torn off, but isn’t that what you want to show anyway?

H.R.
May 10, 2019 10:26 pm

OMG! The visual imagery from the lede alone is just too funny. Good thing escalators weren’t involved.

Now to watch the video, which should have me in hysterics.

Phillip Bratby
May 10, 2019 10:26 pm

“What a ****”

beng135
Reply to  Phillip Bratby
May 11, 2019 7:31 am

What a maroon.

ht Bugs Bunny

Dyspeptic Curmudgeon
Reply to  beng135
May 12, 2019 4:11 pm

Eppur si muove!

ghl
Reply to  Phillip Bratby
May 11, 2019 7:34 pm

Quick Doc, Take a leak.

Admad
May 10, 2019 10:26 pm

“Dumb Gum Bum”

ironargonaut
Reply to  Admad
May 11, 2019 12:47 am

No deductive reasoning
No rational thought
No predictive ability
Unable to logic
Stupid doesn’t stick

Cameron
Reply to  ironargonaut
May 11, 2019 1:31 am

“Unable to logic”

That sounds right.

BoyfromTottenham
May 10, 2019 10:26 pm

Britain is famous for its eccentrics, and this one looks fairly typical, with predictable ineffectual results. I hope that goes for the rest of the ‘Extinction’ mob. I guess you have to applaud the UK for at least being ‘inclusive’!

Greg Cavanagh
Reply to  BoyfromTottenham
May 11, 2019 1:58 pm

predictable ineffectual results

Perfectly captures the entire movement.

Tractor Gent
Reply to  BoyfromTottenham
May 11, 2019 2:09 pm

This one is doubling down on the eccentric by being an independent candidate (in the South West region) in the elections for the European Parliament, which we now have to endure as the UK government can’t get its act together and get us out of the EU as they promised.

RichardX
Reply to  BoyfromTottenham
May 12, 2019 12:19 am

Most of the legendary eccentrics have/had a measurable IQ.

Richard Serr
May 10, 2019 10:27 pm

Bat **** crazy.

[Edited for language. Mod]

R Shearer
Reply to  Richard Serr
May 11, 2019 6:27 am

Four letters, what could that be?

whiten
Reply to  R Shearer
May 11, 2019 7:04 pm

glue,
perhaps?

Greg Cavanagh
Reply to  R Shearer
May 11, 2019 7:17 pm

Hey, leave Bat Man out of this…

Jeff Mitchell
Reply to  Richard Serr
May 12, 2019 7:18 am

I prefer “rabid bat crazy.”

Pixie
May 10, 2019 10:29 pm

Nice hydrocarbon cagoule… and shoes… wonder if these morons can operate without a smart phone

john in cheshire
Reply to  Pixie
May 11, 2019 4:57 am

I’m sure he shouldn’t be using super-glue because it’s manmade from the chemical industry using all the ‘ resources’ he’s no doubt against.

Isn’t there a naturally occurring glue he could use?

PeterGB
Reply to  john in cheshire
May 11, 2019 5:11 am

There is an item available from builders merchants in the UK which might be appropriate (I hope it doesn’t succumb to moderation as it is a bona fide trade name) called “Sticks Like Sh!t”.

Gerry, England
Reply to  john in cheshire
May 11, 2019 6:50 am

Nails?

Warren
May 10, 2019 10:36 pm

And he wants to tell us how to live our lives!

David Chappell
May 10, 2019 10:43 pm

Larch Maxey, Doctorus Adamus cum Flabello Dulci (h/t Terry Pratchett in Jingo)

Brent Hargreaves
Reply to  David Chappell
May 11, 2019 12:31 am

David, I just looked up your reference. For the benefit of others the label you quote means “a doctorate in sweet Fanny Adams” which is a euphemism for “sweet f*ck all” which is a perjorative way of saying “nothing”.

Having decoded your excellent point I do agree with you. There are too many mickey mouse academics these days, with too much time and money on their hands. A cull is overdue.

Steve Borodin
Reply to  Brent Hargreaves
May 11, 2019 1:07 am

A candidate for extinction?

Psion
May 10, 2019 10:53 pm

Not once, not twice, but three times that twit approached those doors, clearly confused by their operation. How did he get a doctoral degree?!

Patrick MJD
Reply to  Psion
May 10, 2019 11:19 pm

Came free with a box of breakfast cereal.

Reply to  Psion
May 10, 2019 11:34 pm

If it wasn’t the UK, I’d say that he attended Boston University. Swansea must be a “sister school.”

Wally
Reply to  Psion
May 10, 2019 11:41 pm

Who says that smoking marijuana is harmless?

paul courtney
Reply to  Psion
May 11, 2019 6:16 am

13th player on a 12-man lacrosse team and rich family?

Kurt in Switzerland
May 10, 2019 10:53 pm

That’s pretty funny

Joel O'Bryan
May 10, 2019 10:59 pm

How to Recognize Different Types of Lunatics from Far Away…

Phaedo
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
May 11, 2019 3:11 am
john in cheshire
Reply to  Joel O'Bryan
May 11, 2019 5:00 am

I think Larch Maxey’s performance is more akin to the Gumbies.

High Treason
May 10, 2019 11:06 pm

Remember, this guy’s vote is worth the same as yours. In this case, he is trying to tell you how to live.

Phaedo
May 10, 2019 11:11 pm

Nice. It took him soooo long to figure that out. Retarded.

Alan
May 10, 2019 11:30 pm

Darwin Award Candidate.

Trevor
Reply to  Alan
May 13, 2019 1:34 pm

No, you have to die to get a Darwin Award.

E J Zuiderwijk
May 10, 2019 11:39 pm

Open Sesame. No, close. On second thought …..

mikebartnz
May 10, 2019 11:53 pm

A Dr of what? It looks like idiocy.

Henning Nielsen
May 10, 2019 11:58 pm

He should try to superglue himself to revolving doors.
“Anybody give me a push?”

StephenP
May 11, 2019 12:04 am

It would have been interesting if the doors had stayed closed long enough for him to stick one hand to each door!

StephenP
May 11, 2019 12:07 am

It would have been interesting to see what happened if he had managed to glue one hand to each door!

Dennisa
Reply to  John R Walker
May 11, 2019 4:03 am

Lovely line from the comments at the Mail:

“Not effective! He should have done something similar to Emma Thompson, and glued his bum to a club class seat in a transatlantic flight as a protest!”

Greg Cavanagh
Reply to  John R Walker
May 11, 2019 2:07 pm

The university should kick him out quick smart. Reading through the comments on the Daily Mail, it’s obvious that this man single handedly did more damage to his own university than *I can’t think of anything worse*.

WXcycles
May 11, 2019 12:14 am

What Is Encephalopathy?
Encephalopathy describes abnormal brain function due to problems with the brain tissue. Symptoms of encephalopathy can be generalized causing decreased level of consciousness from minimal lethargy to coma. Encephalopathy can cause abnormal thought processes including confusion, poor memory, hallucinations, and even psychotic thinking. https://www.emedicinehealth.com/encephalopathy/article_em.htm

Gonna go glue myself to a train … ’cause climate is wonky.

Patrick MJD
May 11, 2019 12:31 am

At one point he looked like he was about to apply some glue to his hand and as the door was opening. We in the UK call these people BOB, Brain Of Britain! And it is meant to be sarcastic. In this case the term really can be applied.

Chris Morrison
May 11, 2019 12:31 am

Doctor of what!!! If his brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off.

Dodgy Geezer
May 11, 2019 1:16 am

The idiot is a common or garden environmental activists. Modern academics (and politicians) insist on worshipping such people. So they give him many titles. Here is the first page of his evidence to a Government enquiry about sustainability…

“1. Qualifications and Experience
1.1 My name is Dr. Larch Maxey LLB., M.Sc., Ph.D., FRGS.
1.2 I graduated in Law from The University of Manchester in 1993, European
Environmental Policy and Regulation (Lancaster University) in 1995 and with a Ph.D.
in Geography from Swansea University in 2002, where I taught and carried out
research into sustainability from 1995-2009. My Ph.D. focused on sustainable
communities and sustainability remains the focus of my research.
1.3 I am a Research Fellow at the Centre for Sustainable Futures and a member of the
Management Team of the Institute for Sustainable Solutions Research, both with
Plymouth University. I am Project Manager with the Network of Wellbeing and cofounder of the Royal Geographical Society-IBG Participatory Geographies Research
Group, co-founder and director of Bumble Bee Woodland Trust and founding director
of Plymouth Growing Futures. I co-founded several organisations responsible for
shaping national and local sustainable development planning policies and was a
founding director and Director of Research at Lammas Low Impact Living Initiatives
Ltd. I have recently completed research into Low/Zero Carbon Building and the UK’s
Code for Sustainable Homes (CSH).
1.4 I declare a conflict of interest: I am also a director and the Chair of the Committee
of Management of the Ecological Land Co-operative Ltd (ELC). However, my
evidence has been prepared as an expert witness and not as an advocate for the
Appeal Scheme….”

Dennisa
Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
May 11, 2019 4:05 am

“co-founder and director of Bumble Bee Woodland Trust”

Quite clear, this was a Sting operation.

RichardX
Reply to  Dennisa
May 12, 2019 12:31 am

The Bumble Bee Woodland Trust is probably stocked with some “interesting” people, but preserving bumblebees is very important. They pollinate stuff. And they’re friendly and non-aggressive. Round and fat looking and not lean and hungry like Cassius.

Steven Lohr
Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
May 11, 2019 7:29 am

I was already laughing hard by the earlier comments, but when I got to the “co founder and director of the Bumble Bee Woodland Trust, I pegged my humor meter! Good grief, and you couldn’t make this up if you tried!!

KAT
May 11, 2019 1:24 am

Unhinged, Unglued, Imbecile

Moderately Cross of East Angla
May 11, 2019 1:28 am

Just remember, this guy is in the intellectual vanguard of the climate hysteria movement – now want to talk about actresses, fashion designers and television presenters? You should be worried, very worried at the influence these loons have on public policy.

Dodgy Geezer
May 11, 2019 1:32 am

I have had a quick look as his ‘finances’.

He appears to live off a charity he has founded, called ‘Network of Wellbeing’. The aims of this are vague – they seem to be ‘to ‘improve people’s lives’. This seems to be achieved by people going back to nature and living in self-help communes. Most of the charity’s income seems to come in the form of grants from other charities, and the Carniegie Trust seems to be involved at some point.

Ivor Ward
May 11, 2019 1:53 am

“My favourite definition of an intellectual: ‘Someone who has been educated beyond his/her intelligence.

[Sources and Acknowledgements: Chapter 19]”

― Arthur C. Clarke, 3001: The Final Odyssey

Jimmy Haigh
Reply to  Ivor Ward
May 11, 2019 4:17 am

My definition of an intellectual is someone/thing who isn’t nearly as smart as he/she/it thinks that he/she/it is.

Barbara
Reply to  Jimmy Haigh
May 11, 2019 7:26 am

BINGO, Jimmy!

RichardX
Reply to  Jimmy Haigh
May 12, 2019 12:35 am

or he/she/it tells everyone how smart he/she/it is.

jtom
May 11, 2019 2:11 am

In the past, these fools would not have survived long enough to reproduce. Now they will be polluting the gene pool for generations. We have made the world too safe.

Mat
May 11, 2019 3:08 am

A link to the youtube vid: https://youtu.be/fmO7H7cmu0Q

May 11, 2019 3:58 am

This Physician’s Unglued

Marion
May 11, 2019 4:04 am

Seen smarter cats on YouTube.

Alan Kendall
May 11, 2019 4:26 am

I was always taught not to mock the afflicted, but there are limits.

john in cheshire
May 11, 2019 4:53 am

A Doctor? Is that a PhD doctor? If so, in what, emotions and such stuff? Clearly not engineering because firstly, he wouldn’t be acting like a juvenile 16 year old Swedish girl. And secondly, well, there is no secondly.

If he’s a medical doctor, shouldn’t he be saving actual lives and helping real people?

Hocus Locus
May 11, 2019 5:02 am

You can hear the sighs of pleasure as the doors operate. Priceless!

“Ghastly,” continued Marvin, “it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don’t even talk about it. Look at this door,” he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut into his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. “All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.”

As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.

~From The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

JMichna
May 11, 2019 5:34 am

I wish he had succeeded in attaching himself to the doors. Would have made great spectator sport throughout the business day.

JMichna
May 11, 2019 5:37 am

The good professor’s name caused me to recall the classic Python sketch:

https://youtu.be/H0zVsxUbbjM

ScienceABC123
May 11, 2019 5:39 am

I’m not sure which is funnier. 1) His fear/apprehension of approaching the moving doors, or 2) if he had successfully glue himself to the doors they would have been continually smacking him in the face.

May 11, 2019 5:51 am

Automatic sliding doors are obviously not the only thing that Dr Larch Maxey is unaware of. To look at him, he would be lucky to survive a crossing of the road, let alone a day in the Wild.

Tom in Florida
May 11, 2019 6:45 am

How does that definition of insanity go again?

muskox12
May 11, 2019 7:14 am

Hilarious! Super glues are made with Ethyl cyanoacetate. These idiots probably don’t know Ethyl is a hydrocarbon.

Björn Eriksson
May 11, 2019 8:35 am

If everyone who is worried about climate just dont have kids, the problem will be solved in 2100.

PaWi
May 11, 2019 9:06 am

“Super Glue Clueless”
Poor Larch! He needed an entire can of glue and some dancing lessons ..
https://youtu.be/u1qN6gLbUMw

MarkW
May 11, 2019 10:07 am

Being outsmarted by a set of automatic doors.
What a maroon.

May 11, 2019 10:10 am

There was a very simple solution to his dilemma:

Strip naked, apply glue to ass, stand on tip toes, press against glass, flex ankles to clear pavement, and then swing with door, glued to it, as it opens and shuts, while lecturing people who pass through.

His failure to realize this great opportunity proves just how stupid he is.

Lightweight!

John Robertson
May 11, 2019 12:01 pm

I SNIFF glue?
Weapons Grade stupid is a natural result of protecting the useless and clueless.
Fine footage of one of their poster children.

James Fosser
May 11, 2019 3:43 pm

In Britain he now has the title of ”Dr Larch Maxey The Mr Bean of Climate Activism” and is a research fellow at University of Plymouth. If I had his Proofed-At The Bench research paper on ”Doors, glue and how to garner pity” I think an A++ would be very Unchristian.

James Fosser
May 11, 2019 3:47 pm

Glueing himself to automatic opening doors? Reminds me of the nudist rolling down a hill ”Now you see it now you dont”.

May 11, 2019 4:10 pm

Childern: Warning! This is the result of truancy.

jollygreen watchman
May 11, 2019 5:14 pm

Now there’s a treat. Someone from the chicken little sky is falling corner actually doing, and promoting, empiricism / Real Science 🙂

ResourceGuy
May 11, 2019 6:05 pm

This raises a question. What are the carbon emissions of being stupid?

James
May 12, 2019 4:53 am

Not even wrong

Heidi deKline
May 12, 2019 8:22 am

Arts student meets repeatable science; gets confused.

brad tittle
May 16, 2019 8:59 am

One day, I had to fix my P trap. I grabbed a bucket, stuck it under the trap and opened the P-Trap. Water poured into the bucket appropriately. The bucket wasn’t quite big enough, so I poured the bucket into the sink. More water came out of the pipe, so I quickly put the bucket back under and filled it up again. Once again I emptied the bucket into the sink and water came out of the pipe again so I quickly refilled the bucket and repeated…

When you fixate on a task, other aspects of physics sometimes take a backseat. Yes it took him a few times to realize his folly, but he did realize it.

I respect the people who can walk into their mistakes and admit them much more than I do the ones who think they can’t make mistakes like that.

Johann Wundersamer
May 18, 2019 9:21 pm

“Dr Larch Maxey was left red faced after trying to superglue himself to the main doors of Bristol City Council to raise awareness about climate change, unaware they were automatic. Describe Dr Maxey’s direct action attempt in three words…”

So this academic had his first real life experience.

If he dares to repeatedly seek similar experiences in the end he will grow fit for life.

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