Guest essay by Charles Rotter aka “Charles the Moderator”
(Note from Anthony: Working behind the scenes all these years, Charles has earned the right for a little self promotion here, in my opinion. I hope readers will agree.)
One of the slightly lesser talked about issues in Climate Change discussions is the effect of methane emissions on the Global heat budget. This was recently discussed in several posts concerning recent California laws created to control methane emissions from the dairy industry, this being the latest.
California passes a new climate law to regulate cow farts
There are approximately 1.4 billion cattle on our planet. That’s a lot of cows and a lot of potential methane. Buuut…there are over 7 BILLION people on our planet. That’s a much bigger pool of farting mammals to control if we are going to do our part to save the planet.
I’m Charles the Moderator also known as ctm. Long time denizens of this site remember me from my more active days around here helping to spread truth.
A while back I decided I had to do my part materially as well as intellectually to improve the world for my fellow mammals. I decided to take on the scourge of sugar alcohols and their devastating effects on well-being and methane production.
What turned sugar free candies into super laxatives
“The unhappy commenters mentioned stomach rumbles, ear-splittingly loud flatulence, and diarrhea.”
I have created a way for the sweet-toothed to have their figurative cake, and literally eat it too.
Introducing Crotters’ Best Radically Dark Chocolate.
I have created the only, (as far as I know), no added sugar bittersweet chocolate in the world, sweetened with Splenda Brand® sweetener and nothing else. It contains no Maltitol, or any other Sugar Alcohols. It also does not contain Stevia, also known to cause gastric distress for some.
Anthony has graciously given me the opportunity to humorously introduce my chocolate to this audience. If you’d like to try them out, see the links above.
On a more serious note, this product was created for diabetics and low carb dieters, it has an estimated glycemic load of zero, essentially the same as baking chocolate, and zero net carbs.
This rich, dark chocolate bar offers a complex chocolate flavor with just the perfect amount of acidity and a bright sweet finish.
If you are a diabetic or on a low-carb diet, or careful about your sugar consumption, but actually like to eat a good amount, then this is the chocolate for you.
Buy some today.
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The prophecy of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming will not be mocked.
Do I still receive credit for sequestering/Planning carbon-based [human] life forms?
That said, chocolate is the new indulgence. Delicious.
“Dark chocolate has benefits such as helping with weight loss, stabilizing blood sugar, controlling appetite and reducing cravings. It also tends to improve your mood, curbing your desire to consume comfort foods.” (wikipedia)
Well Chasmod, as far as I’m concerned you can eat all the darn chocolate you like. You’ve certainly earned it mate !!
George
“Any excuse to eat Chocolate” (h/t to the bad guy in the Heidi follow-up movie Courage Mountain)
CTM thanks for the post. I will try some.
will you be making a cannabis product any time soon?
Reply: Not in the current business plans but no objections. You’re only about the twentieth person who has asked. ~ctm
Hmm…
would the cannabis product induce one to wish to partake of the planet saving chocolate product?
Just setting up a premise for your business model.
They don’t call it dope for no good reason !!
G
Mmmm! Fudge (hash) Brownies! Like WOW man!!!
if it follows the pattern of the casinos, prohibition will end abruptly as the country’s governors get damp from visions of dancing tax sugarplums.
i have to wonder why the Rezidents didn’t grab onto this yet…
anyway- visit lake county – a pleasant drive thru wine country and up into the hills.
you can grab all the obsidian u want from a cut in the road by mt konocti- they cut thru a river of it- big boulders.
and look for NO TRESPASSING signs.
whoever has most has the biggest grow-op
the clippings from the manicuring would be economical source for extraction.
otherwise it usuallly goes in the dark green bin for the recyclers to pick up.
Everything in moderation I suppose.
Aw you got ahead of me. I was going to ask if Charles eats it in moderation.
NO!!!! Everything to excess. Moderation is for monks :):):)
Moderation is for Moderators.
The bad news is that if you are predisposed to calcium oxalate kidney stones, then the oxalate content of chocolate might be of concern to you. Also, nuts, in general are on the higher-oxalate side, but pistachios are one of the few lower-oxalate nuts.
CONCLUSION: Don’t fear chocolate, … just respect it.
On a separate note, I want to calculate the average global methane emission of humanity. Anybody got any figures on that ? (^_^)
Well, according to one undocumented, rough estimate, human beings collectively release about 73 metric tons of methane and 1000 metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere every day just by farting, which is a trivial amount.
As for chocolate consumption:
http://blogs-images.forbes.com/niallmccarthy/files/2015/07/20150722_Chocolate_Fo.jpg
WoW! The U.S. and France are not doing their share to help save the planet.
We’ve got to up our game.
About sugar- my granddad had a sweet tooth you wouldn’t believe. He literally put spoonfuls of sugar on his Jell-o. He was skinny as a rail and died in his sleep at 93, just a few weeks after climbing trees and picking apples.
It’s all in the genes, folks, the genes..
My granddad, started every day with two glasses of brandy, drunk bottle of vine daily with his meals, ate lot of fatty food, grossly over-salted each meal, ate hot chily papers, drunk strong black coffee with no sugar, smoked until 90, frequently recalling events from his youth. He died in his sleep at age of 103, after regular afternoon walk around his vineyard.
… the genes, indeed.
My paternal grandfather didn’t make it past 60. My maternal grandfather made it to his late 70s, but he was riddled with diabetes and heart disease.
Enjoy it while you can, folks, for as long as you can. 🙂
As an obligate low carber and also a chocolate lover, I am always looking for products like this. Just ordered some of both kinds. I imagine I would never have heard about these if not posted here. Thanks to Anthony for allowing that, even if it’s not a normal topic for the blog. And by the way I really hate all the fake “low carb” products with lots of sugar alcohols. That flatulence et cetera is a by-product of (some) sugar alcohols being digested by bacteria in the colon, and this releases enough sugar to allow significant absorption by the host. But they somehow get to count them as 0 carb on the label.
Well said. Having experienced exactly the same issues, I have avoided these sugar alcohol sweetened products like the plague. I am hoping that CTM will be able to ship these out to you (and me – I ordered both as well) today.
*CHARLES* if we enjoy these and want more, have you considered a quantity based discount? PS, I still have your book (personally signed – THANKS!).
‘One of the slightly lesser talked about issues in Climate Change discussions is the effect of methane emissions on the Global heat budget. ‘
That’s because it’s really more about destroying targeted industries. The beef industry is not as big a target as the oil and coal companies, but they’re getting around to it.
The really big question…
Is it “Carbon Free” chocolate !!!
Well, the raw material for its production came from a carbon sequestering life form.
As carbon free as carbon free sugar!
Carbon free sugar. A Limerick.
The Settled Science of Carbon Pollution has reached a new level. Now there is certified carbon free sugar.
Rejoice, diabetics, hear hear!
The Carbon free sugar is here!
No more Splenda for me
I’ll take sugar in tea
It’s Domino’s sugar this year!
(Disclaimer. Maybe, just maybe that is not what they meant?) https://lenbilen.com/2016/02/26/4707/
Long, long ago as I entered a Swiss Matura (Baccalaureate) preparatory school, I was astounded to see some of my classmates open up a Swiss chocolate bar, sandwich it in a breakfast roll and eat it. Turn out, during WW II when food was short it started, and is now a national staple. It actually tastes pretty good, more like Nutella on steroids.
Sounds great. I will happily seek this out. Wishing you success!
Most of the chocolate eaten in Britain is a disgustingly slimey milk chocolate packed with extra sugar and almost entirely devoid of any health benefit. But then you are talking about a country complaining about rising obesity rates while the BBC screens a cake eating programme in prime time and actually devotes 5 minutes of its peak national news whinging about losing the programme to a higher bidder. Critters’ Best rightly boasts of being made of healthy dark chocolate. Good product by the looks of the information.
Don’t you at least get to have chocolate in it though? I recall seeing that europe only allowed to call something chocolate if, well, it actually is chocolate and isn’t over half hydrogenated fat. Here in South America we have “chocolate” with no chocolate in at all. Or with only a little bit of cocoa powder. And most others are over half sugar with a big part of the other half being hydrogenated fat, which not only tastes like you’re eating wax but is terrible for your health.
The best chocolate I have ever eaten was in Belgium and New Zealand, both dark and milk. All others simply do not compare (Ignoring diet needs/issues of course).
Auto correct slipped “critters” by me – sorry!
(Note from Anthony: Working behind the scenes all these years, Charles has earned the right for a little self promotion here, in my opinion. I hope readers will agree.)
Well, sure, but aren’t you worried about this playing into the hands of the climate alarm potentates, who will accuse you of being funded by Big Chocolate?
My favourite sugar alcohol is xylitol. I’ve used it for a few years now to promote dental health.
In other words, after your guts get used to xylitol, it no longer causes flatulence. I don’t think I’ve ever had stomach upset from consuming xylitol but I ramped up slowly to maybe two teaspoons per day.
These days, I have a very, very small chocolate footprint.
**It also tends to improve your mood,**
I did not see anyone pick up on this.
Should we test some samples on the CAGW types who are freaking out a bit??
It’s green, and it is a flatulicious dessert delight! What isn’t to like?
Charles, congratulations on you new venture, and much more so, our thanks and appreciation for your endless volunteer hours moderating the website.
Well done, that man!
w.
That looks excellent. Dark enough to kill a canine, I always say. The purer the better.
A lot of fiber = good
Never realized how much there was in cacao
A lot of saturated fat = bad
Hard to believe no one ever thought of this before.
They changed their minds about saturated fats several years ago. They’re good for you again.
I’m going to start eating more bacon.
My Dad lived on bacon, and lived to be almost 98 — was living on his own — no assisted care — no nursing home ever.
Based on the “science” of nutrition — I expect bacon will someday be known as a miracle food !
In anticipation of that — I’m eating bacon with every meal !
And along with all that, if there is ONE meme that should DIE in 2017, it’s that annoying “Save the Planet” thing.
No shipping to Aus? 🙁
Crotter ==> The Amazon site lists the chocolate bars for 17.94 — but it is unclear how man one gets for that price.
Can you clear that up both for me here and there?
Thanks,
Good luck with your product — my wife is a seriously dark chocolate eater.
Reply: It’s six. I’ll try and clear that up.~ctm
Is there such a thing as an “un”seriously dark chocolate eater? (☺)
Some people are not serious about eating dark chocolate — they do so with frivolously abandon and lack of attention to the artistic, literary and spiritual implications. Shocking!
Chocoholics Unanimous meeting, Godiva’s at five 🙂