My emergence from the end of a long, dark, tunnel

This is a personal note to readers that I’ve been meaning to write for a couple of weeks, and I feel today is the right day. Don’t ask me why-  it just feels right.

emergence-from-long-dark

Regular readers may have noticed that for about 18 months, I’ve been somewhat absent from WUWT. There have been lots of guest posts, many press releases, and times when there were many hours in delays in moderation of comments or long hours between new posts. Readers may have noticed that I’ve been rather curt, maybe even “grouchy” during that time. Projects that I have been wanting to get off the ground, such as the Open Atmospheric Society, have languished. All of that lands squarely on me, my physical health, and my state of mind these last few months. I’ve alluded to this before in a previous post a couple of months back but things weren’t sorted out yet, and I really didn’t want to tell you all until I was ready.

Basically, I went through a life-changing experience: an ugly divorce. It was announced to me shortly after my return from London and Bristol in September 2014. All of the things I had hoped to accomplish after that wonderful trip went to hell in a hand basket with an express ticket as I had to sort out new life priorities. I’m sure many of you reading have been through the same thing, and know that when I was told by someone that the only thing more disruptive to your life is the death of a loved one, you can most certainly believe that. This affected my health, my mental well-being, my demeanor, my job, my finances; everything. Those of you that have been through it, you know the drill.

Some of you might ask, “was my dedication to keeping up WUWT a factor”? The answer was: mostly, no. The good thing about WUWT was that I could do it from home, and the multitasking nature of it did allow me to carry on family matters while at the same time keeping up with the state of climate science and posts about it. That said, in the early stages, I did offer to give up WUWT completely and shut it down if it was something that made a difference. There was a day when I actually took all my computers out of the house with the pledge that I would no longer blog from home. It didn’t make any difference because the problems were rooted elsewhere, and as I discovered, unsolvable. I suppose the best way to describe this whole situation is that people change. And sometimes other health related life altering events in the past set people you love on new paths that maybe they didn’t intend to follow. There’s really no blame in this nor really any good answers, it just is what it is, and you have to deal with the regime change the best you can. That’s what I did, and throughout that time, while I suffered, so did the quality of what was presented on WUWT because honestly, there were many days that even bringing myself to the keyboard was an impossible effort. But, like me, WUWT continued.

Now I’m happy to say that I’m out of the dark, and into the light again. Things are completely sorted, the road ahead looks clear, and while I’m bruised a bit and somewhat poorer, I’m OK, and I’ve left my baggage behind. I’ve checked my baggage and told the airline of life that I’d appreciated them losing it for me, and no, I don’t want it back. In fact, they can eject it over the Pacific into that mythical great Pacific garbage patch, because I’m ready to travel to new destinations, new experiences, and new friends. I don’t need the old baggage where I’m going.

I want to thank a number of close friends, some of whom are WUWT friends, who knew and helped me get out of the tunnel. You know who you are. I also want to thank Matt over at Must Be This Tall to Ride for his help in putting things into perspective.

P.S. Shortly after publication, I got an email inquiring about who got to keep Kenji, our resident pooch and the only animal member of The Union of Concerned Scientists. The answer is that even though Kenji technically was a gift to my ex-wife, Kenji long ago chose me as “his person”, and it was decided he’d go with me.

 

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DC Cowboy

Anthony,
I am truly sorry. I can’t imagine the pain you and your ex-wife can have gone through. I say I can’t because I have been blessed with a truly wonderful woman who has the patience of Job (at least she needs that to have put up with me for 40 years).
Wait, I’m sorry, no preaching. I’m sorry for your pain and the loss of a relationship. Best of luck in the future and I hope you heal from this quickly.

God bless you for your courage, determination and perseverance. The army of truth is vital, and you are one of its leaders.

stan stendera

Amen my Lord.

Newminster

I have to go with Bill Marsh on this. Those of us blessed (and that is the best word I can think of to describe it) with a long and happy marriage cannot begin to get to grips with what you have been through.
But we know all too well that it can and does happen and and can only offer our meagre sympathy and support for those who suffer this pain.
As I do. I am glad that you have emerged from your personal darkness and trust the future will,be bright for you.

Jth

I have been through two divorces, fortunately both very peaceful. But I’ve seen the pain in others of my friends.

Welcome home!

Anthony
When I met you in bristol you were optimistic and enthused after your series of meetings and your dinner. Sorry that things went awry. Let’s hope you have permanently moved into a better place and your enthusiasm for the wonders of life have been renewed.
Tonyb

catweazle666

Fourthed!
Nice to see you’ve come through, Anthony!
Takes time though…

Tom Judd

Seconded.
Best wishes for the future.

Jay Hope

Yes, best wishes for the future. Stay strong!

Thirded ,
God Bless You! Trust me, he HAS!

Gary Hladik

For what it’s worth, in those times when I despair for the future of humanity, WUWT is one of the things that gives me hope again. Thanks for all your hard work and dedication, Anthony.

I concur. Thanks Anthony for all you are to the rest of us, and ultimately mankind.

Murray Lane

Absolutely. Thankyou Anthony…
Because of you the fraud that is CAGW is in the open and hopefully on the way to destruction.
Thankyou for all you do. You share the top spot on my “hero” list. The other is Tony Heller.
Regards Murray Lane New Zealand

Steve McIntyre

a brave post from a brave person. my best wishes under hard circumstances, Steve Mc

Gunga Din

Absolutely agree.
How many others with popular blogs about a controversial subject would post something so personal? Something those on the other side are likely to leap on?
I’ve said before that Anthony is a man of honesty and integrity. (When he himself has said something here that he finds out was factually wrong, he admits and corrects the error.) Now I will add brave to the list.
Keep your thick skin and honest heart.
Prayers.

Martin Hovland

Anthony,
You are my greatest hero, right now, – I have three:
– Anthony Watt
– Magnus Carlsen, and
– Jarle Andhøy !
Keep up the good, honest work you are known for,
in this croocked world.

Willis Eschenbach
Lord Moncton
Many others who post here regularly are among my heroes.
Also Heartland, CO2 science, CFACT and many others.
The unnamed moderators.

Warren in New Zealand

Been down that road Anthony. 18 months is about right to recover your life and start moving ahead again. My sincere best wishes to you, and may your life be once more interesting and full of joy.

Daniel R Gattis

Good for you, Anthony. It’s never easy, always expensive financially and emotionally no matter the cause, but one does recover and finds a new life ahead whose possibilities are boundless. And, this comes from experience.

Curious George

Good luck, and thank you.

Jim Roth

Man that’s a tough road. I lost my wife to cancer, somehow I feel divorce is worse. I’m glad to see that your back and n the right road again. I’ll close with a little joke: do you know why divorces are so expensive….because there WORTH it. 😀😀welcome back.

tomwys1

Your return is celebrated, and your wisdom in selection of guest contributors has been much appreciated!!! Jim Roth’s situation was my own too with 2 children, one teen and the other almost there. Yes, the situations are all unique and all different.
Find solace in that you have a GIANT Fan Club, and you’ve made an enormous contribution towards climate understanding. There’s more to come, much more, and your being in the thick of things will assure that the voices of reason get a place in the Sun!
THANKS for being the hero that you’ve become!!!

Aphan

When I got divorced, my doctor told me “I think divorce is worse than losing someone to death. At least when a loved one dies, you don’t keep running into the corpse…”
A joke? Maybe. Also a truth. A divorce is the “death” of something two people created together. When you are on the receiving end of it, it’s devastating, a nightmare that never seems to end, the realization that the person you trusted more than any other, was capable of destroying everything and you never even suspected that was possible.
Anthony, welcome back to the surface after what, I’m sure, feels like holding your breath for a very long time. There’s going to be rough waters on some days, but you’ve got an army of people here who would never let you drown. We’ve missed you. A lot. In my own experience, there are MUCH better days ahead my friend. Hugs.

Graphite

“A joke? Maybe.”
+++++++++
No. It’s definitely a joke and a bad taste one at that. Not that I’m against black humour but only the galactically self-absorbed would prefer that someone would die rather than merely bugger off.

Dave Yaussy

I also lost my wife to cancer, and, while I haven’t been divorced, I agree that divorce must be worse. With death, everyone is supportive and caring, and the person you loved isn’t hurting you every day. Good luck, Anthony. I really appreciate your keeping WUWT going.

John M. Ware

I also lost my dear wife to cancer, two years ago this September, and am still slowly working through it; while her death was (is) a wrenching experience for me, I am glad it was not divorce, which for both of us would have been worse. Your courage, and your willingness to come back, say a lot about your strength and sweetness of character. Thank you for all you do, and best wishes for whatever you encounter from here on!

Thank you Anthony, WUWT, is a daily read.

And of course best of luck.

SMC

Mr. Watts,
My sympathies. I’ve been through that unfortunate experience twice. The first was about as ugly as it gets, without any laws being broken. It took me much longer than 18 months to get over it. I’m glad you have moved on and I look forward to your re-engagement with this wonderful blog you have created. I wish you the best as the “airline of life” takes you to new destinations in your personal life.

I’m sorry to hear of your difficulties and I’m glad you are past the worst of it, though, I am sure, not completely over it. You have contributed so much for truth in climate science and deserve the best in all things.

Stan Kerr

Very glad you’re back, Anthony!

bernie1815

Bravely said. Stay strong.

Bloke down the pub

All the best Anthony for your road ahead, whatever route you take.

Mr and Mrs David Hume

Please accept our very best wishes and allow us to express the hope that you will take great care f yourself.

richard@rbaguley.plus.com

Very sorry to hear that, Anthony, but very happy to have you back firing on all eight.

Jeff Mitchell

Thanks for letting us know. I’m very sorry to hear about the pain you’ve been through and hope things will be much better now. I’ve appreciated your contributions, and the world is a better place for your involvement.

I suspect probably the hardest post you’ve ever done. So very sad that you have had to go through this – been there – done that – and it’s not at all pleasant.
But time is actually a great healer – oft quoted – but you will come to put it into even greater perspective as more time passes.
My thoughts are with you and all of yours
Andi

Paul Seward

Been there done that. Perhaps the most painful experience in my life and perhaps the best for me also in the end. Congratulations on dumping that garbage.

So sorry to hear this Anthony.
Painful stuff. I’ve watched close friends go through it, and even if it’s all amicable there are scars.
I’m so happy to hear that you have a good outlook, are moving forward, and are getting on with life.

Gamecock

Good luck, sir!
I lost my first wife (the Good One) to cancer. 30 years ago.
Second one to divorce. Took 2.5 years to get everything settled. Stress beyond comprehension. I still have physical problems from problems that originated with the stress, 20 years later.
But, yes, the road eventually cleared and I moved on.

Jenn Oates

Best of luck to you moving forward, Anthony.

Paul Penrose

Glad you are back. Stay strong.

Never been married, so I never had to go through what your experiencing. But 9 years ago I had an accident on my electric scooter & am now a quadriplegic. That 1st year was tough and I went through a lot of the emotions that you did. But after I stopped feeling bad for myself I realized that there was so much in my life that was worth turning it around for. It wasn’t easy, but it sure was worth it. Just keep positive, we never now where life will take us, but if you have the right attitude you can get through anything that life throws at you. Good luck Anthony.

Janice Moore

Hang in there, Mr. Davis. So glad that you comment here when sometimes that is likely a bit of a chore to make happen.
And, hey! Don’t know if you WANT to ever be married, but, Joni Eareckson (quadriplegic from age 17 from diving accident in 1967 — 49 years, now), had that dream COME TRUE! Here is her website — if you click around, you’ll find something about her marriage to Ken Tada (back in the 1980’s, I think — and very happily married today). There is a good book, Joni and Ken, about their life (and lots of other books she has written, the first one was: Joni). Well, here’s that website, just FYI: http://www.joniandfriends.org/ .
Take care,
Janice

Gamecock

A little levity:
In order to save money, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Could have been worse: the light at the end of the tunnel could have been a train. God Bless and welcome back, this is a daily read.

I thought it was causing global warming….? 😛

Erny72

A little more levity if it’s not out of order:
Divorce is so expensive because it’s worth it.
Comedian Louis C.K. outlines why divorce is good news from 1:07 to about 3:00 in this video

jorgekafkazar

I once reached the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a 40W bulb over a sign that said, “This way to the rest of the tunnel. 🖝”

No it was a broken CFL and the EPA closed the tunnel until HAZ-Mat Decon a 1.5Km radius from the incident.

Bob Kutz

Sorry Anthony, for your difficult times. Hope you find better days ahead.

Jack

Rarely miss a day of WUWT. Sad and bad as a divorce is, you can’t change the past, so onwards and upwards. In School days, the only hymn that made any sense to me was Onward Christian Soldiers.
We sang “Onward, Christian Soldiers” indeed, and I felt that this was no vain presumption, but that we had the right to feel that we serving a cause for the sake of which a trumpet has sounded from on high. When I looked upon that densely packed congregation of fighting men of the same language, of the same faith, of the same fundamental laws, of the same ideals … it swept across me that here was the only hope, but also the sure hope, of saving the world from measureless degradation.
— Winston Churchill
Different cause, same sentiment.

pat pimblett

I have not missed a day since before Climategate. Anthony, you created a light at the end of the tunnel for what, maybe hundreds of thousands of visitors, (possiby a million unique visitors?)…..many people over the years who found an answer at your humble abode to questions other sites cannot or will not address. To all my friends in Anthony’s house, thank you thank you thank you…I tell you three times.
Patrick, quietly sitting in the back of the pub, soaking it in, rarely commenting……

John Harmsworth

For an often depressed alcoholic, Winnie did alright for himself. Inspired millions of the rest of us while he was at it. He faced some long odds and terrible times, always with courage and purpose. Anthony, you demonstrate similar courage and purpose that inspires us to believe the fight is worthwhile. We who are (not) about to fry, salute you!

jono1066

you have strange friends in some places
no no no
you have some friends in strange places, I missed meeting last time you came to Blighty,
Not the next time.
The English wine improves by the year they say

Robert of Ottawa

But the beer is always tasty

Marcus

My hat is off to you Anthony..It takes a truly great man to share his agony…I wish I could be half as much..

meltemian

+1
Sorry I came to this late Anthony,( problems of my own).
May the road ahead be clear.

Ian innes

I can only wish you the best of luck and good friends sir. The analogy of a a bereavement being the same was also said to me with the qualification that with a berievement you at least had a ‘closure’. Your work and blog has been, not only educational but an inspiration over the years. I, personally, hope you keep it up.

yam

You kept the porch light on here, a great service to your readers.
Best of luck to you.

Brian

I wish I could find words to express how sorry I am. Your piece was moving and courageous, and I’m profoundly happy that you’re out of the tunnel, back in the light.

Aridzona

I just received news today that one of my loved ones is well on the way to a divorce. My heart goes out to you and all that you’ve gone through over the past 18 months.
I’m looking forward to the future and more posts by you here on WUWT. Cheers to better days!

Remembering the good times of the past is a solid foundation to build on a happier future.

Jane Davies

Been there got the T shirt! I had to call time on a 23 year marriage, it was hard and scary, never lived on my own before. I can honestly say it was the best thing I could have done for myself, the baggage rears it’s ugly head now and then but I’m now married to a wonderful man whom I would not have met had I not taken life by the scruff of the neck and shaken it.
Good luck for the future….go onward and you will in time realise it was for the best.

Janice Moore

Dear Anthony,
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. That you wrote what you did proves that you are a man of strength and character. That you were so graciously silent as to the failings of the one who hurt you so badly proves that you are a gracious man of integrity. There are many things, no doubt, that you COULD have said and refrained. Yes, I realize that you are not refusing your share of whatever “blame,” there is, but, you could have said a lot, I have NO doubt.
For me, divorce was painful, but, it was good. I finally got off the Hope-Devastation Roller Coaster (makes you feel nauseous a lot and only fun once in awhile). When you love someone very much, you don’t realize that the love you think is shining back at you is only an optical illusion (for awhile….. and then, you hang in there, for years, hoping he or she will change…..). I am so thankful to God for releasing me from that bondage of loving someone who never loved me. If I had not gotten out, I would never have met my dearest person in the whole world — and he really loves me! Me!!! 🙂
But, one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal … (Philippians 3:13)
You are loveable. And you deserve to be respected and valued.
Good things are ahead for you!
With admiration and respect and prayers (for your kids, too),
Janice

Janice Moore

P.S. It has been bugging me and bugging me that I implied that you had any blame. While many relationship problems have shared blame, there are also MANY where only one is the person creating the problem and the other is simply reacting and trying to cope as best as they can. There is NO blame to be put on someone for lacking “perfect” responses to an unhealthy (or other issue) partner. To blame them is to, essentially, blame the victim. Not assuming ANY-thing, here, Anthony, but, {now in my “sister” mode — as in, do not MESS with my brother! Do — not — even} given what a wonderful person you are, my GUESS is: you have no significant blame here. Any of the guilt you feel is the pseudo-guilt stage of grieving a loss (as in: denial — anger — depression — guilt — acceptance).
Okay. That’s all. Just couldn’t go to bed without clarifying the “blame” word.
P.P.S. Oh, and SO glad Kenji is with you. My two German Shepherds are glad, too, “Whew!” they said soberly, eyes big, “That was a CLOSE CALL.”

stan stendera

Janice, many, many here at WUWT love you. Almost all here love, yes, love Anthony Watts and consider him a true hero.

Janice Moore

Aw, Stan……. 🙂
Hope those little birds on the railing are still giving you joy.
Janice

gnomish

you don’t need to face death to know courage.
you have to face life- and choose it.
happy independence day!

hunter

Thank you for being so transparent and open.
Best wishes on your journey forward.
And many thanks for deciding to persevere with WUWT.
You are making a positive difference in this world.

So sorry to hear about this, having a loved one leave is really difficult. There’s not a lot a person can say other than things do get better eventually. And that you have an untold number of people who want the best for you and really care.

Michael 2

I live the no-win scenario pretty much daily.

johnbuk

Anthony, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I have no words or experience that may alleviate them but can only hope you find the strength to get through and find peace and happiness again. In the meantime you owe us nothing and we owe you much, thank you for all that you do including giving many people hope in the months and years to come. I wish you every good fortune in the days ahead, goodness knows you deserve it.

H.R.

Anthony, I’ve read the comments and there’s no need for me to repeat what johnbuk expressed better than I ever could do. If johnbuk doesn’t mind…
What he said.

Richards in Vancouver

Same here. And best wishes.

Bernhard Winkler

As you mentioned, many have gone down this road. Not easy nor pleasant and certainly painful. Wishing you the best.

kim

Two sets of footprints on that path.
======

RobK

There is much that binds us all. Empathy is a strong human condition. I am humbled and impressed by your strength and honesty. May the fruits of your passion continue to reward you. I acknowledge the privilege of drawing from your efforts and thankyou for that. My best wishes to you.

Been there, twice. But I have my life back, the way I want to live it.
When you, as you wrote, have a new start and new perspective, my only advise would be to truly believe that what you desire, exists. You may not know the time, but you will know it’s on your path.
Thank you for telling your story. All the best!

nankerphelge

Haven’t been down that path but have sure seen enough of it. Seems to me it is a wound that takes a long time to heal and probably never quite does.

Pat from country Vic

Anthony,
Good luck with your journey.
I truly believe history will show you to be one of the true heroes of our age, a man who stood up for truth.
Pat

Don Bennett

Yeah, Anthony, it’s hard. I went through it from late 1986 through part of 1988. I thought the idea of people dying of a broken heart was mythical until I was told the spouse was leaving and it damned near happened. But I recovered rather quickly and decided the best path was to try to make the whole thing work best for the kids and made it happen. After the final decision to divorce and getting over the emotional hurt, it was after all, essentially, a business deal. Get the best deal for a clean break and carry on with life.
Stay well, Anthony. After all, your health is really all you have.

Been there, done that. Divorce became final just one month after 30th anniversary. We spent out 25th talking about separation. And as one of her favorite country songs said: she got the gold mine, I got the shaft. Tried 9 years and lots of therapists/marriage counselors to keep it together, but finally failed as the kids left for college. Took a lot longer than you have to recover some modicum of equilibrium in a totally changed venue. Highest regards.

kim

A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar at the top. Abaft, ye lubbers, the wake your shaft.
=================

kim

Dang, shoulda had twirling props. I’d a laffed.
===========

Asp

The mining engineer’s divorce: She got the gold mine, he got the shaft.

jim2

Here’s to leaving the past behind, having a wonderful today, and having many more wonderful todays to come.

RedComet

Anthony, I’m glad you are doing better. Your situation reminds me of the hard times I went through a few years ago. My parents went through a messy divorce a few years ago and we lost our house to foreclosure. This was right on the heels of the my sibling taking her life. I started reading your site in about 2012 when my state was having some really awful wildfires and the media did nothing but try and scare us with doom stories instead of being supportive. Reading what you said helped me put things into perspective and helped me cope with the fear I was experiencing and find myself of the road to being skeptical. but things do get better. my parents got back together and I live in a nice house now. I’m 25 now and I regularly read your site. Never forget you have younger readers too!

John Harmsworth

A very difficult set of conditions, RC. It’s not always easy to find the perspective on other people that allows one to see their actions objectively. This is especially true of family members or a spouse, where we expect constancy. The reality is that people are only troubled, flawed human beings. We just have to put one foot in front of the other and believe that our best efforts can make the world a better place, for ourselves and those we care about. “Chin up!” As my dear old Dad used to say!

Vieras

I had suspected, that all these climate scare stories would be hard on young people. What a horrible “gift” to give to kids, that they claim to “help”. Great to hear that you are doing great now.