Guest Post by Bob Tisdale
I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.
The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.
We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

@ur momisugly Mr. David M. Hoffer — great minds …
(didn’t copy — independent genius 🙂
Reblogged this on Scratch Living and commented:
I know a good name for the imaginary planet simulated climate models for the IPCC, “Paycheck” or “Easy Grants”.
Grantlandia.
Yes, that’s a good one!
Jackanorby
The Americans won’t get that at all, Mike!
My beautiful English wife gave me that one 🙂 She explained it and I still don’t get it!
This one sure didn’t…
Here in England, in the late 1960s, 70s, and I believe maybe early 80s, there was a TV programme about 4.00 in the afternoon called Jackanory. The programme consisted of a very simple format. Someone well known, not just to children, would sit in a comfy chair and read a story to the camera. Believe it or not, that very simple format was just brilliant. The stories were never true stories, but fiction brilliantly told, and sometimes with some great voices by trained actors. The best one I ever saw (and I must have been in my 20s then!) was by the comedy actor, Rik Mayell, who sadly died this year aged only in his mid 50s. Some VERY famous British actors and actresses had a go at presenting Jackanory. It was a simple idea, in a simple time…and we all loved it.
Good contributions above. Here are mine:
Simulistan,
Compustan,
Silicastan,
Democratic Republic of Alarm.
Btfsplk
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Btfsplk
Pluto (not really a planet)
Craven New World
Planet Hell!
Nightwish?
Hang on why not just – Planet Wish!? (They wish CAGW was true0
“Lenina”. Huxley nailed it.
Erewhon.
Oops! I scrolled right by that. SteveE has been there, done that, and got the t-shirt.
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2014/11/14/we-need-a-name-for-the-imaginary-planet-simulated-by-climate-models-for-the-ipcc/#comment-1788812
Planet Scare’m II, with it’s companion Moon “Lyre Ban Ki”
Smear Sphere
IPeCaC.
GoCiMo.
Cruciarietsimulatione or Nonconputare
Imagina-a-a-ation land…..
Mind Game Gaia
Malingerth
Model Twaddle
Stupidonia?
Planet “Nerf” , soft science capital of the universe…
Model-topia
Middle Earth
LV-426
Otisburg
Muddle Earth.
“Middle Earth”?
Sorry. I vote against that.
Tolkien put a lot more research into his fantasy world than these guys have.
Besides, who’d want to see a Gandalf that’s short and balding? 😎
Amen to that — and Tolkein never attempted to foist his world upon the rest of us as a real place (much less use it to justify taking away our money and liberty) — not even as an allegory (he would strongly object to his books being described as “allegories”). Pure fantasy with the author’s own stellar morality shining throughout.
Cf. the worse-than-useless computer climate simulations which claim to “predict” — they can’t even hindcast historical data!
Tolkien. (oops)
Hey! We sit here in Hobbitton and laugh hysterically at your absurd fantasy land all the time.
That being said, this is a completely awesome topic. Lots of brilliance on display.
Fanatica
Model Zombie
Whenever I hear their descriptions, it always brings to mind Crematoria, the planet in Chronicles of Riddick. http://riddick.wikia.com/wiki/Crematoria
Bovine Excrement, or, if you prefer French, Merde
Merthe, borrowing the “th” from “murther”, Shakespearian for “murder”. Rhymes with “Mirth”, above.