We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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Proud Skeptic
November 16, 2014 12:08 pm

Loki – Norse god of mischief.

clyde william
November 16, 2014 12:49 pm

Should be named after its maker. Grant.

b_C
November 16, 2014 6:35 pm

De-earth
DeMann (Jonesville, capital)
Yamalski (Briffrica, capital)
Fleece (Broke, capital)
Dupetopia (Rubeton, capital)
Chump (Patsy, capital)

b_C
November 16, 2014 6:39 pm

Thermo-R-Us

b_C
November 16, 2014 6:43 pm

MeWaPe (Missing, capital)

DBD
November 16, 2014 8:40 pm

GRUBERTOPIA

Macklin
November 17, 2014 2:24 am

Why not call it Tlön, after the imaginary planet in the short story ‘Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius’ by Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges.
From Wikipedia: “In the story, an encyclopedia article about a mysterious country called Uqbar is the first indication of a massive conspiracy of intellectuals to imagine (and thereby create) a world known as Tlön.”
Doesn’t that sound about right?

accordionsrule
November 17, 2014 7:08 am

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead world.
“Give us this day our daily mask”

November 17, 2014 9:11 am

Area 51

highflight56433
November 17, 2014 10:27 am

Planet CarboPhobia

billsto
November 17, 2014 12:08 pm

Gaia. It’s fictional, already at the center of the green hypothesis, and has the added bonus of rhyming with Kaya.

Lars P.
November 19, 2014 5:18 am

Wow, just wow to go through the list of nominations :).
Maybe best woould be a combination of some very good names like: Planet Gaia-Noradat-Gigo?

UK Sceptic
November 19, 2014 9:49 am

Dearth.

November 20, 2014 4:10 pm

Klepton, possibly Omniklepton

November 21, 2014 10:00 am

Simple: E-Earth
It only exists in digital form.

accordionsrule
November 21, 2014 10:59 am

{ earth }
It’s not part of the program and never executes.

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