Guest Post by Bob Tisdale
I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.
The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.
We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.
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Loki – Norse god of mischief.
Should be named after its maker. Grant.
De-earth
DeMann (Jonesville, capital)
Yamalski (Briffrica, capital)
Fleece (Broke, capital)
Dupetopia (Rubeton, capital)
Chump (Patsy, capital)
Thermo-R-Us
MeWaPe (Missing, capital)
GRUBERTOPIA
Why not call it Tlön, after the imaginary planet in the short story ‘Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius’ by Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges.
From Wikipedia: “In the story, an encyclopedia article about a mysterious country called Uqbar is the first indication of a massive conspiracy of intellectuals to imagine (and thereby create) a world known as Tlön.”
Doesn’t that sound about right?
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead world.
“Give us this day our daily mask”
Area 51
Planet CarboPhobia
Gaia. It’s fictional, already at the center of the green hypothesis, and has the added bonus of rhyming with Kaya.
Wow, just wow to go through the list of nominations :).
Maybe best woould be a combination of some very good names like: Planet Gaia-Noradat-Gigo?
Dearth.
Klepton, possibly Omniklepton
Simple: E-Earth
It only exists in digital form.
{ earth }
It’s not part of the program and never executes.