We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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November 15, 2014 1:26 pm

Planet of the Apes

Pamela Gray
November 15, 2014 1:30 pm

Whatever you call it, I know where it’s inhabitants are. They apparently are vacationing in Australia on a beach.

Reply to  Pamela Gray
November 16, 2014 10:42 am

Planet Colonoscopy.

highflight56433
November 15, 2014 1:41 pm

GIGO …garbage in, garbage out

milodonharlani
Reply to  highflight56433
November 15, 2014 3:22 pm

Sorry, good one, but already proposed. Maybe time to close the nominations & let Bob pick a winner.

RACookPE1978
Editor
Reply to  milodonharlani
November 15, 2014 3:51 pm

milodonharlani
Sorry, good one, but already proposed. Maybe time to close the nominations & let Bob pick a winner.

Nah. After 629 good answers, replies, and comments?
Why stop?

Reply to  milodonharlani
November 16, 2014 5:00 am

To avoid repeats perhaps people should use “Control F” and search for their proposal to see if it’s been taken?

highflight56433
November 15, 2014 1:47 pm

Planet GIGO (garbage in = garbage out)

MattS
November 15, 2014 1:50 pm

I nominate “Fudge”

Mike Bryant
November 15, 2014 3:12 pm

Since the sea levels are advancing alarmingly it will soon be, “Water World”

RACookPE1978
Editor
Reply to  Mike Bryant
November 15, 2014 3:53 pm

Where are they advancing so dangerously? Where do you, Mike Bryant, so fear a rise of inches per century?

Mike Bryant
Reply to  RACookPE1978
November 15, 2014 10:30 pm

They are advancing rapidly in the minds of the alarmists… On the imaginary planet we are naming…

JBP
November 15, 2014 4:10 pm

Gaia – revenge

Walt D.
November 15, 2014 6:13 pm

Cloud Cuckoo Land

Paul Demmert
November 15, 2014 6:22 pm

Soylent Green. Hey, it was a great concept, just hard to get people to accept it.

tom0mason
November 15, 2014 6:28 pm

Planet Kludgey
As it fits the dictionary definition –
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/kludge
kludge
: a system and especially a computer system made up of poorly matched components
— kludgy also kludgey adjective

milodonharlani
Reply to  tom0mason
November 15, 2014 6:43 pm

GISSTemper.

notfubar
November 15, 2014 7:58 pm

Climax

rbdwiggins
November 15, 2014 8:19 pm

Just name planet “HTRAE” because the physical science is apparently 180° out of phase with that of planet EARTH, and there’s really no need to be able to pronounce the name because the planet can never exist.

McComberBoy
November 15, 2014 9:25 pm

I would suggest
Silliw. In honor of Willis and his mandatory double on this new world. \
PBH

gregole
November 15, 2014 9:49 pm

Climocatastrophonicusmajor

Ed Zuiderwijk
Reply to  gregole
November 16, 2014 1:35 am

Must be the constellation it is in.

phlogiston
November 15, 2014 10:11 pm

Neverland

phlogiston
November 15, 2014 10:14 pm

Mathflunkaland

phlogiston
November 15, 2014 10:21 pm

Grauniad
or
Flappypig

StefanL
November 15, 2014 10:23 pm

simulon
decarbonia (accent on the ‘o’)
concoctia or concocton
phonycon
deludia or deludion
artificia

Dean Bruckner
Reply to  StefanL
November 17, 2014 7:05 am

All excellent!

davesivyer
November 15, 2014 11:11 pm

POSIT

November 15, 2014 11:53 pm

Lielium (A world entirely lacking in truth.)
Neversnow (No really, snow is just not going to happen there. Never ever.)
Gigolia (The world of garbage in garbage out.)
Hokey (Where hockey sticks rule.)
Noradat (No, you can’t see my raw data.)
Fakearth (should be obvious)

Ed Zuiderwijk
November 16, 2014 1:40 am

Eugenica.
After that evil pseudo science of the last century.

kelly
Reply to  Ed Zuiderwijk
November 16, 2014 7:35 pm

good one
for crappy science how about:
Piltdown
Pauling’s Helix
Debendoxia
Pons/Fleischmann
Brodeuria
Y2K

AB
November 16, 2014 1:45 am

Planet Boob [a binary planet system – the orbiting sister planet is called “Bob” to avoid confusion] located 7 trillion light years from reality. The name is self explanatory.

November 16, 2014 4:14 am

I like a more appropriate name like…
Hydra or Liquida or The Water Planet.

ralfellis
November 16, 2014 8:11 am

They should call it Dolos.
(Greek for deceit.)
R

November 16, 2014 10:48 am

Thanks everyone, my ribs hurt from laughing (you will be hearing from my personal injury lawyer).
http://classicalvalues.com/2014/11/new-names-and-other-dangers/