We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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Schrodinger's Cat
November 15, 2014 4:29 am

How about Scariworld
Sham Climate Alarm Ruination Illusion.

davesivyer
November 15, 2014 4:41 am

Planet POSIT
Where everything is possible!
Dave

Scarface
November 15, 2014 4:48 am

On second thoughts: Caldor

Tom in Florida
November 15, 2014 5:20 am

What ever name is adopted, this could be the anthem of that world.

Keith G
November 15, 2014 5:43 am

Per my falstronomy textbook, that the planet Spurious. It circles the star Irregulus, which is in the constellation Olyin.
The continents are Fougasia, North and South Scamerica, Aintarctica, Afraudka, Falstralia, and Eurroneous.
You’re welcome.

B
November 15, 2014 5:57 am

Gored. ‘to penetrate something’ …..although I dislike a name that allows algore to claim he had a planet named after him….

November 15, 2014 6:14 am

SNUFU ?

Reply to  Ulric Lyons
November 15, 2014 6:26 am

Of the course the word “All” has been appropriately substituted by the word “Unbelievably”.

RLande
November 15, 2014 7:04 am

Hope-n-Change

Catherine Ronconi
November 15, 2014 7:15 am

Jerkury or Fakury
Venal
Terror
Bars or Carbs
Stupiter (already suggested)
Carburn
UEAnus
Dupetune

beng
November 15, 2014 7:16 am

For Niven fans — Lookatthatcrap or WeDidn’tmakeit

mikeishere
November 15, 2014 7:29 am

Moronopoli Prime

RockyRoad
November 15, 2014 8:07 am

More weird planet names?
Navelint
Lost In Space
Denialit
Alarmit
Uncaution
Pluto 2

November 15, 2014 9:05 am

Since the public widely knows of the failure of the strategy to give models prioritization over observations and since that strategy was devised by institutionally sponsored scientists to support a need by their intellectual patrons to advocate significant AGW from CO2 by burning fossil fuels, then the climate-modeled planet could be called:
Planet ’Fossil Priors’
& . . . or
Planet ’Fossil Prime’
& . . . or
Planet ’Fossiled Myopia’
& . . . or
Planet ’Patron’s Delight’
. . . . and it goes on and on and on . . . .
John

Joe Campbell
November 15, 2014 9:15 am

Call it what it is – Policymaker

November 15, 2014 9:18 am

A planet named for models and tree rings:
Planet Twiggy!

November 15, 2014 9:34 am

Planet Hokey

November 15, 2014 9:45 am

Pluto is taken.
How about Planet Goofy?

CWells
November 15, 2014 10:23 am

Hansmannia, in rememberance of the two failing high priests of the CAGW faith…

Don Gleason
November 15, 2014 10:56 am

Icarus

RockyRoad
November 15, 2014 11:13 am

This is easy; I’m surprised it hasn’t been submitted:
Planet Simulatum.

dls
November 15, 2014 11:46 am

As in Freedonia?

November 15, 2014 11:47 am

Planet Udopia….Inhabited by Dopians

Mac the Knife
Reply to  Joe Lynch
November 15, 2014 8:07 pm

I like that!

November 15, 2014 11:48 am

Since, the modelers’ recursively defensive answer to the increasingly mistrusting public wrt their failed model strategy has been “our important models are necessary but are only work in progress that will eventually save mankind, but until they do save mankind just assume they must be currently right and immediately make strict policy against fossil fuels”. Also since, in 25 years the modelers’ work product has not improved wrt the inability of their predictions / projections / guesses to actually match observations. Then, the climate-modeled planet could be called:
Planet ’ Modelers’ Sisyphus ’
& . . . or
Planet ’Wrongfully Recursive’
& . . . or
’SAD Planet’
…where SAD = Sciency Appearing Dictates
& . . . or
Planet ’ Modelers’ Err ’
John

dls
November 15, 2014 12:01 pm

The planet Commodious Prevaricator

Tim Lawrence
November 15, 2014 12:46 pm

Planet Amnesia