Guest Post by Bob Tisdale
I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.
The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.
We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.
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Chard
dBase
Arret
with all the climate scientists living in the continent of Cyberia.
Positronium
China
‘Planet Windows’ ?
or maybe ‘Google Earth’ – the forbidden planet, orbited by the moon ‘Ban’
otherwise ‘Pachauri Climastophilis’
Planet Gork
Speculus x
Actually there is a cload of planets, which belong to the cload of Speculus Ensemble. For example Speculus GissE-Ar4 is one of its planets. The lifetime of each planet is very short, because they have frequent collisions with the black hole of Reality. The resullt of this kind of a collision is the birth of a new planet, lets say Speculus GissE-Ar5, in an other universe.
Priscilla (Queen of the Desert)
Bruce
Why not call the imaginary world of IPCC:s experts’ model for: Planet of Atlantis?
Hyperthermia Illuminatus
Scorched Earth
I second Mike McMillan’s ‘Fortran’. A planet based on an ancient programming language is exactly what we’re talking about.
Hey, my first computer science course involved Fortran 77.
Fortran Wat V for me , punch cards and all!
Since the models need unrealistic climate sensitivities to CO2 in achieving desired exaggeration, the climate-modeled planet could be called:
Planet ‘Over-Sensitivities’ End‘
John
How about Burning Mann?
It´s really very easy:
JJJJJJ/JJJJJJ/JJJJJJ/JJ…
*Translate: jajajajajaja (stop for breath) jajajajajaja (stop for breath) jaja …. ” (Descojonoland)
“A parallel world in an imaginary universe close”
Carbon$greed
int temperature;
for(temperature=0; ; temperature++)
{
printf(“%d “, temperature);
}
I was thinking -topia, as in dystopia, however, like a good scientist, I turned to Greek for nomenclature:
Ualeos – of glass (‘domos’ is ‘house’)
Interestingly Greek has a verb ‘tuphopoieo’ – which means ‘construct an imaginary world’
Does anyone remember the comic book about Bizarro World? It was a cube-shaped planet where normal cause and effect were (sometimes) reversed. The rules of physics sometimes applied but often not. Outcomes were frequently the opposite of the expected outcomes on Earth. Once trapped there, one had no real chance to return to our world.
As it is a place that already exists in literature Bizarro World is my nomination for the planet the IPCC describes and where the ‘futures’ they detail could happen.
I recall it as a Superman or Superboy series. I am sure others can supply links to a graphic showing the planet with its six flat surfaces.
It occurs to me that as the CAGW crowd is so fond of citing ‘the literature’, Bizarro World (TM) should be found in very good standing. It was reviewed in detail by hundreds of thousands of people like myself who were quite capable of distinguishing between logic and the fantasy on that planet to the point of finding it humorous.
Each time an IPCC claim is refuted by science or data or logic, a citation can be given for the edition of Bizarro world in which a similar example of anti-science or anti-sense occurs ‘in the literature’ thus bolstering the IPCC claim as something ‘already reported’.
There are many examples of Bizarro World thinking, the most well know perhaps being the Hockey Stick temperature chart. It’s math and claims are truly not of this world.
Alan covered Bizarro world up higher in the thread. I should’ve credited him with the backwards Earth => htraE too. I claim loss of aged thinking skills by the time I read the thread to the bottom; all terrific suggestions.
The benefit of the Bizzaro htraE is that since the alarmists want to reverse the ‘null’ so that science must disprove CAGW rather than CAGW providing clear evidence of CAGW; a reversal of scientific process perfectly fitting Bizarro CAGW theory and philosophy.
Return (restore?) the alarmists to their Bizarro parallel dimension!
Vulcanus.
The non-existing planet postulated in the inner Solar System to explain the perihelion drift of Mercury’s orbit, before General Relativity gave the correct explanation. It supposed existence was in a sense the wrong prediction by a fundamentally flawed model.
Nidhogg (dragon that gnaws at the tree of life, also a PlayStation game, denier (reversed) pig perhaps?)
Balnibarbi
Laputa already mentioned.
I confess I missed it. On reflection Lagado is better than Balnibarbi it being home to The Academy of Projectors and ‘The Engine’ a sort of fictional Proto-computer.
It is a bit depressing that Swift’s satire on The Royal Academy is still so relevant, headed as it is today by arch-warmist Sir Paul Nurse, a man who will brook no dissent or discussion against the ‘settled science’.
Sorry, addled brain, I meant The Royal Society, not The Royal Academy.
Appropriate handle you have there, J.Swift!
Armageddon
That is a handy chart. Not one good outcome ffrom a warmer climate? Ok. Then colder must be eutopia. good thing it’s getting colder.
Meatball
I was going to suggest that to go with Carbonara, but opted for pastas instead.