Guest Post by Bob Tisdale
I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention: This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World. Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”. Wow. Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers. The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.
The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside. The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans. But we know that’s not the Earth. The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now. The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world. They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.
We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap. No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.
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Sweet Goddess Gaia, Beat me… Spank me…. Make me eat cheese…. But don’t burn me up…..
Pay up or be spanked, audited, and fined
Conspiratus
terra simulatio mendax
Has anyone secured the tinfoil mining rights?
Planet ‘No Water’ would pretty much do it in my mind.
For the models to come even close to the real influence of CO2 then we would need a ‘black body’ planet with a Nitrogen only atmosphere.
There’s very little agreement among the various models as to what happens at specific locations on earth. They could just cancel all that out of the models, sell the supercomputers, and calculate the resulting dimensionless model on a smart phone, they’d be getting the same results where global temperatures are concerned. In fact, I’m running such a model on my iPhone now. Just add up the fudge, er, forcing factors and put in a time lag.
Fantasyland
Planet Potemkin.
Because ‘It Takes A Village’ (UN-IPCC)…. and the resident village idiot (Pachauri).
Kafkafornia.
Jumanji.
or
Idiocratia.
or
Pestilica.
As a Klaatu fan I’ve always wanted there to be a Politzania.
Planet It’s Worse Than We Thought.
I would have suggested Greenland, but Erik the Red got there first.
No! How many times must we explain this! The simulation is REAL, it’s the DATA that’s at fault.
Call it The One True World, which we examine from within our flawed empirical one in our search for Climate Truth!
Counter-Earth is a hypothetical body of the Solar system hypothesized by the philosopher Philolaus (c. 470 – c. 385 BCE).
In modern descriptions Counter-Earth is a planet orbiting the Sun so that it was always exactly on the other side of the sun from Earth at the same distance from the Sun and with the same mass as Earth (according to the theory 🙂 ). It would be undetectable to astronomers (or any other human beings) on Earth but habitable to beings at least similar to humans.
Thus it would seem VERY like earth, but it could never really be seen *from* earth.
John Norman wrote over 30 sci-fi novels about a counter-earth he named “Gor.”
I suggest the name “the planet Gor.”
I read the Norman books decades ago. Alternate names for planet Gor:
AliceInChains or B*tchSlap.
Mirth
Planet Press Release
Scare World
Planet______ . Fill in the blank if you are a donor bundler.
Planet Gone Wild
Tralfamadore
Planet No-Country-For-Old-Scientists
If you can get through this bad corny post without getting nauseous, congratulations!
______________________
Planet ; Nirvana
Planetary Government;
CCCC ;
Committee for the Control of Climate and Citizens.
Religion;
By decree of the CCCC;
“CliFi” ; [ shortened version of “Climate Fiction” ]
Official religious colour ; Murky Bilious Green;
Other Denominations and cults permitted by the CCCC.
The very influential and major cult that has gained control of planetary governance “Ban CO2”
The technologically orientated “Modeling CliFi” denomination,
The “Renewable Energy” denomination.
The doomsday cult of CAGW.
Prayers to the Goddess “Climate Change” MUST be attended four times per day.
Apostates when caught are sentenced to death in a deadly carbon dioxide chamber with concentrations of 2000 ppm of CO2.
A lingering death occurs within four days thereby proving the CCCC’s official claims on the deadly nature of the CO2 gas.
Some deep cover skeptics claim it is because drinking water is denied to the condemned that death occurs.
Climate has been stabilised with a fall of 2% in the number of Model predicted storm and climate catastrophe events by the removal of all but tiny trace amounts of Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere.
The removal of all the deadly atmospheric Carbon Dioxide has led to the extinction of all Chlorophyll and therefore all chlorophyl reliant plant life.
But that is a small price to pay in the eyes of the CCCC to save the planet.
The CCCC is now having some concerns over the falling amounts of Oxygen in the planetary atmosphere.
The state CliFi religion’s “Climate modeling” denomination is claiming that their modeling now indicates that all citizens in the aimed for rapidly declining population will need O2 supplementary breathing systems by 2122.
With the demise of chlorophyl reliant plant life, the planetary surface is entirely silicon based and almost devoid of life in any form.
Sea life consequently is nearly all extinct as it is now so overexploited as the only source of food for the planetary inhabitants.
The CCCC has initiated a drastic population reduction program so as to enable the continuing resource of ocean life to be available for their remaining loyal supporters to continue to exist.
Extensive Polar ice consists entirely of Dry Ice.
Vast Wind power systems are the only planetary power generation system allowed by the CCCC with nearly all power generated used to keep the CO2 sequestering plants operating in the Polar regions.
Frequent crisis arise when the wind stops blowing and the power to the Polar CO2 sequestering plants fails allowing vast amounts of Dry Ice to sublime back into the very dangerous CO2 gas.
+1
“The removal of all the deadly atmospheric Carbon Dioxide has led to the extinction of all Chlorophyll and therefore all chlorophyll reliant plant life.”
A better explanation for the lack of O2 in the movie Interstellar.
So the computers run the computer models to force model-based outcomes to create and control model-based policies that will kill all carbon-based life on the planet so silicon-based lifeforms can become dominant? (If a computer (er, silicon-based lifeform) were ever able to create power to feed itself without having to rely on fossil fuels dug by carbon-based lifeforms running carbon-burning power plants …)
I suggest an acronym:
aHert
because that’s what we’d be in if the modelers were right.
How about Wloawpyfagwi
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
We live on a water planet you freeeeeking AGW idiots
Yes, that works
At one point in my geological career I did some research in Russia. I retained a bit of the language, so here’s my try at naming the new planet:
Мудак Манна , which transliterates as Mudak Manna. I’ll leave the translation to to those with better language skills than mine (or perhaps those who know how to use Google translate).
or maybe Mannhuyilo
Planet Pendejomann.
Distopia
This Model Earth
From the 1955 movie “This Planet Earth”
“This Island Earth”
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047577/