People send me stuff. This list of 20 intelligent jokes with a smattering of science and engineering jokes is worth sharing.
Some won’t get all of them, for example, I have no idea what #1 is about…the rest, are just entertaining.
People send me stuff. This list of 20 intelligent jokes with a smattering of science and engineering jokes is worth sharing.
Some won’t get all of them, for example, I have no idea what #1 is about…the rest, are just entertaining.
I thought it was:
An Eskimo walks into a bar.
“A whisky for me, and a Canadian Club for my seal”
I had a very droll/dry math teacher in college that extolled the value of calculus, but he did tell us it had its limits.
What do you call two crows sitting on a branch?
Attempted murder.
A inquisitive young boy goes to his father and asks “Dad, what is the difference between ignorance and apathy?”. The father looks up from his work and says with exasperation “Son, I don’t know and I don’t care.”
Rene Descarte strolls into a bar and orders a beer. He takes a couple of gulps and puts the empty glass down. The barkeep asks if he’d like an other. Rene ponders for a moment and then replies “I think not.”
POOF!
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who do not.
Can anyone confirm if Al Gore is still in Australia? We’ve got our own little polar vortex thingy going on at the moment.
http://www.news.com.au/national/three-states-prepare-for-extreme-weather-as-deep-low-pressure-system-delivers-arctic-conditions/story-fncynjr2-1226982665242
The engineer asks, “How does it work?”
The scientist asks, “Why does it work?”
The English major asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage.
The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.”
let x = 0.9999 recurring
* both side by 10
10x = 9.9999r
subtract x from both sides
9x = 9
divide both sides by 9
x = 1
but wait.. that means 1 = .9999r
I wrote Joke 11 a few years ago and it’s been doing the rounds ever since
A man from North Carolina goes into a bar in New England. He asks the bartender, “Did you go to Harvard?” The bartender says, “Yale.” The North Carolinan says, “DID YOU GO TO HARVARD?”
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
A termite crawls into a pub and up on one of the barstools. He looks up at the guy serving beer and says, “Hey, is the bar tender here?”
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Sorry about that Jeff, I did not refresh before posting.
Be careful about any words you use in jest…
You may have to eat them (I think it works better if you recite it –
ASS-U-ME-ing it works at all)
A girl goes up to her Astronomy professor and asks,
“I understand how Astronomers can measure distances to stars, their luminosity, and their temperatures, but how do they know their NAMES?”
15, the “Yeah, right” response, reminds me of the Churchillian anecdote (truth better than fiction, right?), in which one of the Prime Minister’s advisers was waxing pedantically about spelling peculiarities in the English language.
“Did you know, sir, that there are only two words in the English language which begin with the letter ‘s’, yet make the sound of the digraph ‘sh’?” Delighted that he had engaged the attention of the highly-literate Churchill, who was a well-known student of the language, he spoke the two words, carefully enuciating the “sh” sound:
“They are, he said, ‘Sugar’. And ‘sumac’.”
Churchill’s response was instantaneous. “Sure.”
An engineer falls down a dry well. He jumps and he jumps and he finally sits down gasping for breath. From the dark opposite corner of the well a voice says “You’ll never get out of here!” But he did.
Here’s a Hint on #1:
8 Sodium atoms walk into a bar and say “Hey, Hey, Hey, Goodbye!”
#16 – Poles will laugh a LOT.
Alastair Brickell says:
July 9, 2014 at 3:20 am
You can’t trust atoms…they make up everything.
– – – – –
Politicians are atoms! Who knew?
A. Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC
Paul Coppin says:
July 9, 2014 at 12:26 am
“Janice Moore says:
July 8, 2014 at 9:52 pm
I don’t get:
#9 and #18 (the cat in trunk part).
Anyone? Anyone?”
<<<<<<<<<<
Shrodinger postulated a thought experiment based on Heisenburg's uncertaintanty principal involving whether a cat was alive or not. Google for a full run down.
Greg says:
July 8, 2014 at 11:48 pm
Hoser says:
July 8, 2014 at 11:01 pm
One physicist tells his colleague, “We’ve determined the core temperature of the star gamma Draconis is 50 million degrees.” The other physicist replied, “Oh, really? Is that Kelvin or Celsius?”
=====
A physicist would know that it’s not kelvin because there are no “degrees kelvin”. He would also know not to use capitals when spelling kelvin and celsius.
Why are you assuming a third physicist is telling the story?