People send me stuff. This list of 20 intelligent jokes with a smattering of science and engineering jokes is worth sharing.
Some won’t get all of them, for example, I have no idea what #1 is about…the rest, are just entertaining.
People send me stuff. This list of 20 intelligent jokes with a smattering of science and engineering jokes is worth sharing.
Some won’t get all of them, for example, I have no idea what #1 is about…the rest, are just entertaining.
I know that I am in the wrong room when I have to use Google to understand the jokes.
Now googleing blonde.
Did I spell googleing write?
There should be a separate post for blonde jokes, and lawyer jokes.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A: A stick.
Shhh! You’ll give it away! And then climate science itself will come crashing down…
rgb
I know a few clean jokes; here’s my offerings:
Some psychology majors wanted to study the problem-solving methods of scientists. They recruited a Mathematician and a Physicist.
They brought the Mathematician to their facility, and said, “We want you to solve a problem.”
“OK!” the Mathematician says.
They take the Mathematician to another room, where there is a window, a curtain, and a bucket of water. “Solve the problem,” one of them says, and lights the curtain on fire.
The Mathematician grabs the bucket of water, and puts out the fire.
The Physicist comes in next. “We want you to solve a problem.”
“OK!” the Physicist says.
They take the Physicist to another room, where there is a window, a curtain, and a bucket of water. “Solve the problem,” one of them says, and lights the curtain on fire.
The Physicist grabs the bucket of water, and puts out the fire.
Next day, the Mathematician is brought in, and is again asked to solve a problem. They take the Mathematician to a room, where there is a window, a curtain, and a bucket of water. “Solve the problem,” one of them says, and lights the curtain on fire.
The Mathematician grabs the bucket of water, and puts out the fire.
The Physicist arrives, and is asked to solve a problem. They take the Physicist to a room, where there is a window, a curtain, and a bucket of water. “Solve the problem,” one of them says, and lights the curtain on fire.
The Physicist stands still, and watches the fire consume the curtain.
“Why didn’t you solve the problem!?!?!?!?!” they ask incredulously.
“I solved this problem yesterday.”
======================================================
From Johnny Carson: “I love sushi. I’d eat it more often, if I just knew how to cook it.”
======================================================
Variant on the “aging” jokes above:
First person: ” … … … and as we all know, the knees are the second thing to go!”
Second person: “What’s the first?”
First person: “I forget … … … ”
======================================================
My golf game is improving! Just last week, I finally broke 80!
Then I had to do the second hole … … … … …
What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?
Either a funny looking onion with big ears, or a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
JTom on Jul 7 @ur momisugly 7:11p and 7:21p is referring to a real world rancher with the last name of Rays, who was by fortune in a position to make the PERFECT TRIPLE PUN:
1) Where the sun’s rays meet,
2) Where the sons raise meat, and
3) Where the sons, Rays, meet.
Sorry, JTom’s posts were Jul9…
=========================================================
No! Speak up!
Sounds like we have, uh, nothing to lose.
Tomazo says:
July 11, 2014 at 1:12 pm
Can you do anything with “raze” i.e. Where the sons raze meat (a stretch to be sure)
[Only if the sun’s braze meat (with a little BBQ sauce) … .mod]
Jeff says:
July 9, 2014 at 2:48 am
Five Swiss in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED-IT’S NOT A JOKE!
Actually, in Italy, it’s illegal to have SIX people in a some cars. Four of us salesmen at a meeting in Tuscany borrowed a company car and drove up to the Carrara marble works. On the way back to Viareggio a couple stopped us and asked for a ride. They said their car had broken down and they needed to get to the next town to get a mechanic. We put one in the front and one in the back and headed down the road. In the next town we were stopped by the Italian National Police (Carabinieri) who informed us that having 6 people in our size car was illegal. Since we didn’t understand much Italian and the police didn’t understand much English it took garbled translations between us, the hitchhikers and the police to finally sort the matter out. The driver, a Dutch guy, got the ticket anyway. The French, Malaysian guys and myself (US) thought the whole thing was a setup, either to generate revenue or to find out why 4 strangers were wandering around the mountains.
An important experiment involves tying a piece of toast to a cat’s back, buttered side up, then dropping it from a height of about 6 feet (2m). If you’ve set the experiment up correctly, the cat should levitate about a foot off the floor, rotating rapidly.
F. Ross says:
July 11, 2014 at 8:34 pm
Tomazo says:
July 11, 2014 at 1:12 pm
Can you do anything with “raze” i.e. Where the sons raze meat (a stretch to be sure)
[Only if the sun’s braze meat (with a little BBQ sauce) … .mod]
=======
How about Horizon Ranch — Where The Sons Raise Meat — maybe set it up as dad buying the place for the boys?
My two rules of emphasis:
Rule 1) Anything can be overstated.
Rule 2) Rule 1 can’t be overstated.
My next comment in this thread will be my rule on procrastination.
Kevin Schurig says:
July 9, 2014 at 10:56 pm
Another one:
Two Aggies have shot a deer and are dragging it by the tail toward their pickup truck. A nearby Longhorn sees them and says, “If you drag the deer by the horns, going with the fur will reduce the friction and make the drag easier!” The two Aggies do so, and one says, “This really IS easier!” The second says, “Yes, but we are getting further and further away from the pickup!”
Hi Kevin I agree with your last point. However, it is just a fact that the grading you refer to is very often regarded as and communicated as a lesson observation grade