Lord Monckton invites ‘Chazza’ to spar over ‘unroyal’ global-warming remark
His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales,
Clarence House, London.
Candlemas, 2014
Your Royal Highness’ recent remarks describing those who have scientific and economic reason to question the Establishment opinion on climatic apocalypse in uncomplimentary and unroyal terms as “headless chickens” mark the end of our constitutional monarchy and a return to the direct involvement of the Royal Family, in the Person of our future king, no less, in the cut and thrust of partisan politics.
Now that Your Royal Highness has offered Your Person as fair game in the shootout of politics, I am at last free to offer two options. I need no longer hold back, as so many have held back, as Your Royal Highness’ interventions in politics have become more frequent and less acceptable in their manner as well as in their matter.
Option 1. Your Royal Highness will renounce the Throne forthwith and for aye. Those remarks were rankly party-political and were calculated to offend those who still believe, as Your Royal Highness plainly does not, that the United Kingdom should be and remain a free country, where any subject of Her Majesty may study science and economics, may draw his conclusions from his research and may publish the results, however uncongenial the results may be.
The line has been crossed. No one who has intervened thus intemperately in politics may legitimately occupy the Throne. Your Royal Highness’ arrogant and derogatory dismissiveness towards the near-50 percent of your subjects who no longer follow the New Religion is tantamount to premature abdication. Goodnight, sweet prince. No more “Your Royal Highness.”
Hi, there, Chazza! You are a commoner now, just like most of Her Majesty’s subjects. You will find us a cheerfully undeferential lot. Most of us don’t live in palaces, and none of us goes everywhere with his own personalized set of monogrammed white leather lavatory seat covers.
The United Kingdom Independence Party, which until recently I had the honor to represent in Scotland, considers – on the best scientific and economic evidence – that the profiteers of doom are unjustifiably enriching themselves at our expense.
For instance, even the unspeakable Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has accepted advice from me and my fellow expert reviewers that reliance upon ill-constructed and defective computer models to predict climate was a mistake. Between the pre-final and final drafts of the “Fifth Assessment Report,” published late last year, the Panel ditched the models and substituted its own “expert assessment” that in the next 30 years the rate of warming will be half what the models predict.
In fact, the dithering old fossils in white lab coats with leaky Biros sticking out of the front pocket now think the rate of warming over the next 30 years could be less than in the past 30 years, notwithstanding an undiminished increase in the atmospheric concentration of plant food. Next time you talk to the plants, ask them whether they would like more CO2 in the air they breathe. Their answer will be Yes.
The learned journals of economics are near-unanimous in saying it is 10-100 times costlier to mitigate global warming today than to adapt to its supposedly adverse consequences the day after tomorrow.
Besides, in the realm that might have been yours there has been no change – none at all – in mean surface temperature for 25 full years. So if you are tempted to blame last year’s cold winter (which killed 31,000 before their time) or this year’s floods (partly caused by the Environment Agency’s mad policy of returning dozens of square miles of the Somerset Levels to the sea) on global warming, don’t.
You got your science and economics wrong. And you were rude as well. And you took sides in politics. Constitutionally, that’s a no-no. Thronewise, mate, you’ve blown it.
On the other hand, we Brits are sport-mad. So here is option 2. I am going to give you a sporting second chance, Charlie, baby.
You see, squire, you are no longer above politics. You’ve toppled off your gilded perch and now you’re in it up to your once-regal neck. So, to get you used to the idea of debating on equal terms with your fellow countrymen, I’m going to give you a once-in-a-reign opportunity to win back your Throne in a debate about the climate. The motion: “Global warming is a global crisis.” You say it is. I say it isn’t.
We’ll hold the debate at the Cambridge Union, for Cambridge is your alma mater and mine. You get to pick two supporting speakers and so do I. We can use PowerPoint graphs. The Grand Debate will be televised internationally over two commercial hours. We let the world vote by phone, before and after the debate. If the vote swings your way, you keep your Throne. Otherwise, see you down the pub.
Cheers, mate!
Viscount Monckton of Brenchley
=====================================================
Related: Chicken al la still not a king
Discover more from Watts Up With That?
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I say
2 Colt Peacemakers in Dodge City, KS on Wyatt Earp in front of ” El Capitan” ought to solve the problem of a prince.
Or we could move the gunfight to Ellsworth or Abilene…
Heck I am sure we can rustle up a few longhorns to boot!
And let us not forget the gambling in the saloon before.
A prince – how quaint.
Remember the fate of Thomas Becket under the Plantagenets
Remember the fate of Thomas More under the Tudors
What will be the fate of Monckton under Coburg-Gothe / Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg
This may get me in trouble. But James you see we Apache did not live down by the sea prior. Oh the fish were easy to catch and food a plenty. But the storms did bad things. So we left that to the poor dumb tribes who no longer exist due to the stroms drowning them all. We like the high mountains of New Mexico and the nice warm springs boiling up in some of the mountin streams.
Those who live by the sea can and often die by the sea.
Well.I guess the UK may just have to settle for the American claimant to the Crown of St Edward after all then……the rightful heir as it turns out…..besides,it’s high time they had an American King
Careful Christopher…he might de-Lord you. After all he is at the apex of the English Aristocracy of which you are a member!
Julian in Wales @ur momisugly February 5, 2014 at 5:18 pm;
Very well said. Hilary Mantel could have advised pointedly on this course.
Ted Clayton
Can the Queen disown Prince Charles as her heir? He has called me a headless chicken, I don’t want him as my King.
Charles recent statements has changed me into an anti-monarchist in Canada, my allegiance to my figure head Queen will end with Elizabeth II. Charles MUST abdicate his claim to the throne as the constitutional monarch of Canada. Thank you for such well written words Lord Moncton
How may headless chickens would it take to come up with data as bad as Michale Mann’s mis guided computer coded hockey stick humping thingey.
Most awesome ever!
Charles, you may have been vaguely aware that we ‘subjects’ have kept you and your family in relatively idle luxury for many decades. The ‘quid pro quo’ was that you would spare us your political insights. Clearly, taxpayer generosity is no longer sufficient to buy your neutrality. So be it. I therefore suggest you renounce your office. And with one leap, you would be free – to earn money, pay taxes and express whatever enters your head – just like us.
Lord Monckton offers an alternative choice – one which would preserve your royal privileges. If you believe you have strong evidence for catastrophic anthropogenic global warming, then you could take up his challenge. You must know at least a couple of chums, prepared to back up your beliefs. How hard can it be to argue against three ‘headless chickens’ ?
So Charles, having your cake and eating it is no longer on the menu. Neither is fudge. I may be wrong – but I believe you have courage. It’s time to show it.
Lord Monckton….please don’t hold your breath for a reply….
Keep up the great work.
Some time ago Prince Charles advised that nanotechnology would create “grey goo” which would envelope the world.
His wish to his current wife about his reincarnation preferences is well known.
Now he has selected AGW, a dismal failure propped up by money, power, vanity and some weird, misanthropic green ideology, and has been as oppressive in his comments as other people like Clive Hamilton who do not want sceptics to have a voice.
In short he has abused his position many times to promote idiotic positions which have overwhelmed his occasional forays to promote worthwhile ones.
He should accept LM’s challenge or shut up..
Coronating Prince Charles King of England would be like making Don Knotts head of Interpol. It would be fun as long as everyone realized it was only a joke.
This is precisely the kind of irreverent disregard for hereditary preferment that led hundreds of thousands of Brits to come to America (including my wife’s parents) and get away from a life of deferential humiliation. I would like to recommend you to be an honorary American. Any time you want to hang out with some ex pat Brits of like mind in eastern Pennsylvania come over and we’ll go down to the pub for a pint and some shepherd’s pie
We can dream, that is free and no one can stop us.
Say the dream team Charle’s of two is Al Gore and John Kerry.
So fine that…..little dream.
“the United Kingdom should be and remain a free country” As a border satrapy of the undemocratic, bureaucracy-addled, fiat-addicted EU, the United Kingdom is now not and may never again be a free country.
The sole route to survival for the British, that font of freedom and independence, is to repel the EU with peremptory dispatch and as much disdain as is possible to show. Let the continent wallow alone in its priggishness. It will avail them nothing but decline. The world needs an individualistic and British Britain. Today’s horrid social climate requires me to add that by British I mean civil culture, not ethnicity.
Dang! Popcorn! KNEW I forgot something…
Actually, a much needed wake up call to Royalty.
Perhaps the Queen will jerk his chain? (Charles)
http://gulfbusiness.com/2013/10/book-review-a-economic-horror-story/#.UvLoarStblg
When the Money Runs Out: The End of Western Affluence
Charles lives in a bubble, as does the liberal press. They follow the Aunty Mime principal: If you saying something very sincerely three times it must be true. Alternatively, if all your friends say the same thing very emphatically it must be true. No need to look at the facts to weigh pros/cons. There was a time when it was a matter of honor and responsibility to not make statements without thoughtful investigation of both sides of an issue. Leaders do not lead countries off of cliffs.
The Western economies cannot support the programs we currently have and we have wasted trillions of dollars on green scams that have made almost no difference in world CO2 emission increases which is not a problem anyway.
The US’s and the EU’s long term security/viability are dependent on economic success and fiscal constraints. There is an idiotic idea that we can use deficit spending and/or money printing schemes to spend our way into prosperity. That has been tried before, it ends in riots and bank collapses. We are losing to China and heading towards a currency collapse.
This could actually be quite healthy for both The Monarchy and the UK as a nation. Two generations prior to Prince Charles’ generation, a reckoning was experienced that made history. The heir to the throne determined he was not fit to rule the Realm and did the honourable thing. That is not to say we will see a similar outcome in this case. However, a healthy conversation is coming due.
Well said, Viscount Monckton. Strong, plainspoken, and a fair challenge. Although Prince Charles would not be my King (in US not UK), I will take his response as a measure of the man who would be King. Recently, humankind was treated to a sort of arrested-puberty accession, Kim Jong Il/Kim Jong Un etc., such that musings regarding “headless chickens” are more readily associated with a state of arrested-puberty not maturity. Meaning there are at least two levels of accession to be considered here; maturity over adolescence and gaining the uber-respect of your peers, things which will always attend a man who would be King.
Your response will be instructive.
Zeke writes “your claim of 25 years of zero trend in the UK seems to run somewhat counter to the data”
Ouch. I assume Zeke’s address has been hacked because that post is nowhere near Zeke’s standard.
Monkton’s claim was 25 years of no warming to which Zeke offered more than 250 years of data where the yearly average doesn’t obviously disagree with the claim and neither does the 10 year rolling average which is a poor choice to dispute a claim of 25 years of anything.
It is entirely consistent with living in England where it often rains a lot, and sometimes rains a lot more.
When that happens, and it floods, voters start asking serious questions about why the Environment Agency wasn’t doing what it should have been. For crying out loud, the Dutch have built a country below sea-level.
Entertaining as always .
Your style defines “inimitable” .
Mike Jonas said:
“So it looks like the next monarch will be from the Tudor line, and will be King Simon I (Simon Michael Abney-Hastings, 15th Earl of Loudoun) from Wangaratta, Australia.
.. Oops! ….. Loudoun is a Scottish earldom, do we have to go back to the Plantagenets?”
Mike, the Abney-Hastings are the heirs to the Plantagenets, not the Tudors (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG4Ec9nEwwk).