IPCC now in Bizarroland: Pachauri releases "smutty" romance novel

Just when you think things can’t get any more bizarre with the IPCC, having just learned that the IPPC 2007 report used magazine articles for references, head of the IPCC, Dr. Rajenda Pachauri, provides comedy gold. According to the UK Telegraph, he’s just released what they describe as a “smutty” romance novel, Return to Almora laced with steamy sex, lots of sex. Oh, and Shirley MacLaine.

Here’s the good doctor, grinning like a Cheshire cat at his book launch in India on January 10th.

Click for more photos from his book release

The Telegraph’s Robert Mendick and Amrit Dhillon in Delhi write:

As the UN’s climate change chief, Dr Rajendra Pachauri has spent his career writing only the driest of academic articles. But the latest offering from the chairman of the UN’s climate change panel is an altogether racier tome.

Some might even suggest Dr Pachauri’s first novel is frankly smutty.

WARNING ADULT CONTENT FOLLOWS:

(First time I’ve had to do that on WUWT)

Return to Almora, published in Dr Pachauri’s native India earlier this month, tells the story of Sanjay Nath, an academic in his 60s reminiscing on his “spiritual journey” through India, Peru and the US.

click for bookseller

On the way he encounters, among others, Shirley MacLaine, the actress, who appears as a character in the book. While relations between Sanjay and MacLaine remain platonic, he enjoys sex – a lot of sex – with a lot of women.

In breathless prose that risks making Dr Pachauri, who will be 70 this year, a laughing stock among the serious, high-minded scientists and world leaders with whom he mixes, he details sexual encounter after sexual encounter.

The book, which makes reference to the Kama Sutra, starts promisingly enough as it tells the story of a climate expert with a lament for the denuded mountain slopes of Nainital, in northern India, where deforestation by the timber mafia and politicians has “endangered the fragile ecosystem”.

But talk of “denuding” is a clue of what is to come.

By page 16, Sanjay is ready for his first liaison with May in a hotel room in Nainital. “She then led him into the bedroom,” writes Dr Pachauri.

“She removed her gown, slipped off her nightie and slid under the quilt on his bed… Sanjay put his arms around her and kissed her, first with quick caresses and then the kisses becoming longer and more passionate.

“May slipped his clothes off one by one, removing her lips from his for no more than a second or two.

“Afterwards she held him close. ‘Sandy, I’ve learned something for the first time today. You are absolutely superb after meditation. Why don’t we make love every time immediately after you have meditated?’.”

More follows, including Sanjay and friends queuing to have sexual encounters with Sajni, an impoverished but willing local: “Sanjay saw a shapely dark-skinned girl lying on Vinay’s bed. He was overcome by a lust that he had never known before … He removed his clothes and began to feel Sajni’s body, caressing her voluptuous breasts.”

Take a cold shower, and read the rest of the steamy  (possibly a water vapor feedback loop) novel at the Telegraph here

Note to the U.N. – Time to kick Pachy to the curb, he’s not just toast now, he’s carbonized.

In other news, The Love Guru has this relevant quote from a hockey team member: “there’s no connection between hockey and my love life”

UPDATE: Steve McIntyre quips:

In breaking news, Vivid Entertainment has bought the film rights to the IPCC Fourth Assessment Report. They plan to give new meaning to the terms Working Group 1, Working Group 2 and Working Group 3. They promise to give “peer review” an entirely new interpretation.


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Dave Wendt
January 30, 2010 10:58 pm

AGW may not be dead, but satire certainly is. No humorist will ever be able to publish a piece of parody or satire in the future without banner disclaimers at top and bottom, other wise no one will be able to distinguish it from what passes for news coverage nowadays.

FergalR
January 30, 2010 11:03 pm

Good Lord have mercy. From the Times of India’s glowing review of the magnum opus:
“Sanjay is always noticing breasts and masturbating (once into a red silk hanky purloined from a train co-passenger”
There must generations of Indian rail passengers in states of near catatonia trying not to think that the snot-rag they’d misplaced decades ago had had one cracked-off into by a degenerate kleptomaniac.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/sunday-toi/book-mark/Return-to-Almora-A-spiritual-potboiler-/articleshow/5491811.cms

Magnus
January 30, 2010 11:07 pm

Finally an adequate release from the top climate scient… railway economist of da World.

luluemu
January 30, 2010 11:10 pm

Sorry, but that is beyond creepy.

rbateman
January 30, 2010 11:19 pm

If this wasn’t so disgusting it would by only laughable.
This is supposed to be the World’s Leading Center of Climate Change, and it’s top dawg is playing with wild fantasy…on and off the job. Pattern.
Politicians take note: You have precious few serious minds decicated to the task of understanding the Climate, so you’d better start being more careful about the duds you are being sold. Streaking went out of fashion over 3 decades ago.

January 30, 2010 11:22 pm

Here is a funny spoof trailer starring Pachauri as the Wolfman of Copenhagen!
[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5psmpWYWBlM ]

Dave Wendt
January 30, 2010 11:22 pm

I’d like to suggest that at all of his future public appearances Mr.Pachauri’s introduction be accompanied by Bob Hope’s old theme song…”Thanks for the Mammaries”

toyotawhizguy
January 30, 2010 11:30 pm

Goddard (22:20:39) :
“What is amazing is that the President of The United States still openly associates himself with them. A smart politician would be running for the exits while there are still a few lifeboats left.”
I would not expect any different behavior from a man who is unable to give a coherent speech without the aid of a teleprompter. BHO’s functioning as “warmist-in-chief” does not require the IQ of a rocket scientist.
In that regard, here’s a little bit of comedy from the Don Imus show:
“Historian Michael Beschloss: Yeah. Even aside from the fact of electing the first African American President and whatever one’s partisan views this is a guy whose IQ is off the charts — I mean you cannot say that he is anything but a very serious and capable leader and — you know — You and I have talked about this for years …
Imus: Well. What is his IQ?
Historian Michael Beschloss: … our system doesn’t allow those people to become President, those people meaning people THAT smart and THAT capable
Imus: What is his IQ?
Historian Michael Beschloss: Pardon?
Imus: What is his IQ?
Historian Michael Beschloss: Uh. I would say it’s probably – he’s probably the smartest guy ever to become President.
Imus: That’s not what I asked you. I asked you what his IQ was.
Historian Michael Beschloss: You know that I don’t know and I’d have to find someone with more expertise …
Imus: You don’t know.
Historian Michael Beschloss: What do YOU think it is?
Imus: I don’t know.”

TheGoodLocust
January 30, 2010 11:31 pm

I inserted this detail into his wikipedia entry. I’m sure the POV warriors will simply remove it or turn it into the next Lord of the Rings.
Nearly everything about this man has been put into wikipedia, but the clique who controls everything AGW is intent on keeping this lying slimeball looking pristine.

Roger Knights
January 30, 2010 11:47 pm

He looks the part of a Satyr.
So “climactology” wasn’t a typo!

mareeS
January 30, 2010 11:59 pm

Yuk.
Australia has a prime minister who sits in kindy chairs with 5year-olds and writes books about his cat and dog.

Stefan of Perth
January 31, 2010 12:11 am

What’s new? Pachauri’s been producing hot and steamy fiction for years…otherwise known as IPCC Reports.

toyotawhizguy
January 31, 2010 12:23 am

Quote: “In an interview with the ChicagoTribune, Pachauri was asked what he thought of the small but vocal group of skeptics out there. His response was “there is, even today, a Flat Earth Society that meets every year to say the Earth is flat.””
Ah yes, the old tried-and-true Flat Earth Society trick. Just mention them in the same context as your opponent. Works every time!
That gaff needs to be officially given the honor “Disinformation Rule #26”.

Indiana Bones
January 31, 2010 12:23 am

Guys like this are simply not human.

J.Hansford
January 31, 2010 12:24 am

People like Pachauri are bald faced and bold as brass…. Nothing phases them and they revel in any controversy…. Almost sociopathic.
No wonder the state of science and the UN is in the mess it is.

Donald (Australia)
January 31, 2010 12:26 am

Kevin Rudd, our less-than-illustrious ‘leader’ in Australia, gave this creepy mongrel A$1million dollars recently for his shonky institute. What a scam.
No doubt Rudd will have a me-too crack at something similar soon, once he has finished exploiting 6 year olds like “Gracie” to spruik ‘climate change’ (as happened on msm before Copenhagen).

January 31, 2010 12:26 am

“Slowly he extended his trembling, sweating hand into TERI’s drawers…”

PhilW
January 31, 2010 12:27 am
January 31, 2010 1:01 am

>>Australia has a prime minister who sits in
>>kindy chairs with 5year-olds.
Along with most of the clergy.
.

January 31, 2010 1:10 am

>>Robert Townshend (00:26:20) :
>>“Slowly he extended his trembling, sweating hand
>>into TERI’s drawers…”
Was that the sweaty hand holding the red silk hanky?? If so, it gives a whole new meaning to ‘sticky money’.
“My, my, TERI, I have never seen such large drawers in all my life…”
.

KeithGuy
January 31, 2010 1:15 am

Why is the tardis on the front cover?

Bernice
January 31, 2010 1:20 am

Another sick God delusionist like Al Gore.
Amateur poetry, novels and IPCC fiction.
In the meanwhile, the paid slaves back at the mansion work seven days a week for peanuts. Very sick human being.

Jack Simmons
January 31, 2010 1:23 am

Hmmmm….
Maybe now everyone will want to read the IPCC reports; at least the underlined parts.

ChapinEngland
January 31, 2010 1:25 am

“Is that a new wad of cash for the Institute in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?”

Andy Scrase
January 31, 2010 1:27 am

Some observations – I have been to the Indian Himalayas twice, bith times to the Gangotri region. The Hindu relegion has many sexual references, from what I can see. The “Matterhorn of the Himalaya”, Shivling, literally means the “Penis Of Lord Shiva”. The river Baghirathi, which flows from the Gangotri glacier, is a holy river that many pilgrims visit. Its white glacier melt is said to be the, er, stuff that comes from Shiva’s Ling. (sorry in advance if I have offended any Hindus, but that was my understanding when I was there).
In that respect, we maybe shouldn’t be so surprised at this book. However, the other observation I have to make is that the Gangotri Glacier is actually advancing, and is SO huge that the prospect of it melting by 2035 is totally laughable. The Gangotri region is the most accessible area of the Himalaya. It is a two day road trip from Delhi.
The mere thought that the IPCC thought that the Glaciers would be gone by 2035, and that the world wouldn’t notice the mistake, indicates to me how completely out of touch with reality Pauchuri is.
Shivling is a very imposing mountain. What I really see in it now is Lord Shiva giving Pauchuri and the IPCC sycophants the big “up yours” from his majestic position in the mountains.

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