From Planet Gore, this has to be the poop de grace of bureaucratic achievement in the climate and ecology category.
Not a Square to Spare [Chris Horner]
Where are the Beatles when you need them? Someone inside EPA has brought to my attention how Oregon Rep. Earl Blumenauer has proposed legislation calling on a federal agency to define toilet paper.
Really. It says it right in the bill, the “Water Resources Protection Act” (I know, I know — you were expecting it to be called the Protecting Infrastructure and Sewer Systems Act):
‘‘SEC. 4172. DEFINITIONS AND SPECIAL RULE.
‘(b) WATER DISPOSAL PRODUCT. — For purposes of this subchapter —
(4) TOILET TISSUE. — The term ‘toilet tissue’ means toilet tissue, as determined under regulations prescribed by the Secretary.”
No, it’s not as silly as it sounds. It’s sillier.
The rulemaking to define what rises to the level of a bottom-wipe is in the name of a good cause: to tax the stuff. The current band of feds don’t think you’ve paid enough tax — this has been established ad nauseum — and now want a dedicated revenue, er, stream, to pay to replace corroded pipes and overburdened sewer sytems nationwide.
We know what else is involved in the confines of the rest room so, naturally, there’s a “climate change mitigation” section as well though, upon initial scrutiny, it isn’t as invasive as the context indicates should be the case.
It actually gets even more inane: in addition to adding a “3% excise tax on items disposed of in wastewater, such as toothpaste, cosmetics, toilet paper and cooking oil [because these] products wind up in the water stream and require clean up by sewage treatment plants,” according to Blumenauer’s Fact Sheet, water-based beverages, which actually hit the infrastructure both coming and, ah, going (as anyone who’s ever stood in line at a sporting event knows). So, those are hit with a four-cent per-container excise tax. Feeling flush yet?
This is a nice addendum to the dossier that, I believe, we will look back on as having been rolled up by a congressional majority (and indeed, entire political class) that soon found itself circling the drain.
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“Robert Wood (01:42:05) :
Why not tax food, we all know where that ends up.”
I some countries it already is taxed. In NZ, for instance, food is taxed, a 12.5% GST on everything, all goods, all products, all services. In the UK there is a VAT of 17.5% (I think that may have been dropped to 15% recently) on say cooked chicken and a 10% GST in Australia too on a similar item. In the UK and Australia cooked food will attract a tax (Value Added Tax – UK) because of the vaule added (Cooking).
But wait, there’s more! The EU already lables food items with their carbon foot print, Australia is planning to do the same. Of course, we will still have choice, of course we will. We’ll have Govn’t approved and non-approved. You will pay for the approved item, and so much more (Need to earn as much as Al Gore to pay for it) for the non-approved item.
“bill (02:28:46) :
People want an easy life and not have to pay for it.”
So tax on toilet paper is the way to solve this?
“The UK is small – rubbish is disposed of in landfill. Suitable sites are in short supply.”
As already pointed out, that’s not really true. Also, just FYI, the entire population of the world could stand on the Isle of Wight.
“Joe Bloggs finds it convenient and perhaps thinks no more of it. But someone has to pay to collect his bins and dispose of their contents.”
In the UK there is something called the council tax (The Poll Tax under Thatcher failed and with good reason) so the council receives taxes/rates depended on the property and number of people living there. So the household actually aready does pay for local authorities to collect refuse. Tenants have this running expense included in their rents.
“Why should I pay for his excesses?”
Well, you don’t actually. But we will be very soon, even me, and I don’t live anywhere near you or the person in the articles.
Ah but no word on how to handle all the drugs getting into the water supply via the treatment plants dumping off the coasts and into the rivers.
This brings to mind two things
1) the Movie Demolition Man where Sly Stallone can’t work out what to do with the two shells
2) This quote from the Hitch hiker’s guide to the Galaxy which details why, on the planet of Bethselamin it is “vitally important to get a receipt” every time you go to the toilet.
How long before you have to do that to prove you’ve paid the “Carbon tax” for your “Deposit” on Earth?
sad to say Blumenauer is my rep. We call him the bloomin idiot and blue manure.
He is a big time bike advocate that just happens to drive a SUV.
I took the pictures:
http://www.portlandfacts.com/Earl/EarlInSUV.htm
I also took a video of Jim Hansen at OSU last week. He wasn’t even able to present evidence that CO2 caused warming – just the climate models don’t work without CO2 garbage. You can download the DVD from:
http://www.climatedvd.com/DownloadVideos.htm
The answer to this conundrum is so obvious and simple I can’t believe no one has thought of it…
The government must outlaw private sales of TP, then require owners of commodes, to purchase TPMeters supplied and approved by both congress and hollywood. The TPMeters will be operated by use of the PCID card, which every citizen of the world must carry at all times. These meters will be kept stocked by the Green workers…
Thus, since they will be tied into the grid, taxes, fines and punishments will be swift and severe…
What could be simpler?
Mike the Plumber
Do toilet rolls roll down stairs that way? In fact, can they roll that way?
The toilet roll in the cartoon will be counter-rotating as the paper spools off its top surface, and this will act as a brake to stop it rolling. It’s only if the paper feeds out from its bottom surface that there will be no counter-rotation, and no braking, and the toilet roll will accelerate. One way you get negative feedback, and the other way you get positive feedback.
I’ve just tried to a get a toilet roll to roll in the way shown in the cartoon, and it just either stopped dead, or it flipped over and then accelerated downstairs.
I think the physics of the cartoon is wrong. But maybe that’s the subtle point that it’s trying to make?
Sandy: Hear hear, but also:
The UK government has stated we’re running out of suitable land-fill sites. This is because the government introduced legislation that made site owners, who had not had problems in decades, have tests done on their sites to prove that they didn’t harm the environment. These tests typically cost £150,000 per site. Most sites are relatively small businesses operating in disused quarries and on steep land not suitable for anything else and they couldn’t afford that kind of money, so many of them shut up shop. Now we have a waste problem. You couldn’t make it up, could you?
The link to the legislation on Thomas is a dud. What’s the bill number?
At the risk of being a bit anal, the roll in the cartoon is the wrong way round for viable down-step travel.
Found it – HR 3202. Here’s a interesting couple paragraphs :
“SEC. 4171. IMPOSITION OF TAX.
`(a) Water-based Beverage- There is hereby imposed on the sale of any container of water-based beverage by the manufacturer, producer, or importer thereof a tax equal to 4 cents per container of such beverage which is 5 gallons or less. For purposes of the preceding sentence, the manufacturer or producer is the entity that puts the beverage into the container subject to the tax under such sentence.
`(b) Water Disposal Product- There is hereby imposed on the sale of any water disposal product by the manufacturer, producer, or importer thereof a tax equal to 3 percent of the price for which so sold.
`(c) Pharmaceutical Tax- There is hereby imposed on the sale of any pharmaceutical product by the manufacturer, producer, or importer thereof a tax equal to 0.5 percent of the price for which so sold.
`(d) Termination- The taxes imposed by this section shall not apply to any production, manufacture, or importation after December 31, 2015. ”
`SEC. 4172. DEFINITIONS AND SPECIAL RULE.
`(a) Water-based Beverage- For purposes of this subchapter–
`(1) WATER-BASED BEVERAGE- The term `water-based beverage’ means any beverage which is–
`(A) water, or
`(B) created by mixing water with other liquids, flavorings, vitamins, or other ingredients where the resulting product is at least 50 percent water by weight.
Oh you naughty boys & girls, you really are quite cruel!
You’re next!
Watch out for this dodge. Many moons ago when the taxpayer owned the UK utilites after WWII, we paid Rates on their homes, a tax paid to local councils to pay for these things. Then, the powers that be decided to separate the “Water” rate, from the total rate, giving the Water utilities a degree of autonomy. Curiously though, the basic rates didn’t go down without this element but stayed the same. So the overall taxes went up covering a raft of increases! Scower the news papers fellas, watch for the hidden changes (& charges)!
What a Government gives, it can take back again! Plus a little more.
So your are taxed for crapping, breathing, sweating, reproducing, working, driving, parking, flying, sailing, heating, cooling, consuming, disposing, burning, spending, saving, owning, insuring, praying, greening, living and dying.
And it never stops.
Son of Mulder (01:32:26) :
“Cut newspaper into suitably sized squares, punch hole in corner of squares, put string through hole, tie ends of string, hang from nail on wall. Better than back in my youth because the newsprint doesn’t come off these days. The tax on newspapers will now rocket.”
Who knows it might even help save all those newspapers from going broke.
I think this will all come down to some government program on carbon limits to individuals – say (C)arbon (R)enewal (A)merican (P)rogram.
You will be allowed 300 craps per month. TP accounts for 40 craps, hamburgers 20 craps, driving to work 15 craps. So, in the end you will have to decide say, whether you want to go to work or use TP. I suppose that could be considered a good thing, because your fellow co-workers probably don’t want you at work if you didn’t use TP.
How to wipe with one sheet:
1. Fold your single sheet in half.
2. Carefully, with your fingertips, tear a fingertip sized circle from the sheet, right at the center of the fold.
3. Unfold your sheet, and behold, a square sheet with a fingertip sized hole in the center. Save the tiny circular piece you tore off.
4. Drop said single sheet over your index finger of the hand you care the least about.
5. With a circular motion, do your business with the doomed index finger.
6. With the other hand, Grasp the base of your finger below the sheet, collapsing the sheet about your finger, and while applying pressure for a squeegee effect, slip the paper back off said finger and discard.
7. Use the tiny circular piece to clean under your fingernail.
8. Quit whining, Angelina says she doesn’t use any paper at all. 🙂
Just get Sandra Bullock to tell us how the three shells work! (re: Demolition Man)
It sounds more like every day that the eco-masters intend to hold the world hostage. At least that portion that will listen to them.
All they are going to succeed in doing is ripping apart the fabric of society that has led them to this level of civilization.
Not a word is heard about problem solving.
It’s all about making life miserable and costly.
Our politicians are tired of living.
Of course, they are exempt from the Flattulence Taxes and Tissue Taxes.
After all, the only thing they pass in the halls of Legislature is hot air, and the only thing produced are endless copies of paper better used elsewhere.
Pick up a newspaper from 150 years ago and read the popular concensus of how politicians were viewed.
Maybe its me. Maybe I’m an idiot. Perhaps I’m overlooking the obvious.
I’ve spent the last half hour trying to think of a beverage that isn’t water based. Does anybody have any examples of one?
“was offered help in reduction of waste”
Oh the injustice! He was even offered re-education and a personal green indoctrination! What more can you people want?!?
Crosspatch – why not raise water rates? Seriously, because water rates and water taxes are all under local control. This plan is angling at a federal excise tax which will have no responsiveness to local voters at all.
It’s also incredibly regressive, which is supposed to be anathema to all good progressives.
oh for the old day of snail mail and the sears catalogue.
Son of Mulder (01:32:26) :
Cut newspaper into suitably sized squares, punch hole in corner of squares, put string through hole, tie ends of string, hang from nail on wall. Better than back in my youth
Oregon voters need to take special note of Blumenauer; let him know how stupid he sounds, and that he is on his way out if he does not develop some brains.
Well, the only sober thing to do is to drink only vodka.
crosspatch, i don’t think your weird. I’ve been working on an idea you would love – a toilet paper handle. I call it Tissue Le Gripper.
Think about it (i did, now how weird is that) at least 90% of the “tissue” you pull from the roll is used to “grip” the small surface portion that does – the job? If everyone used a TLG…… Hmmm, maybe we could lobby congress to pass a law saying everyone MUST use a “Tissue Le Gripper”!!
I can see it now, penalties for failure to use….. courses in schools on reasons to use and HOW to use…. instruction films that run before the feature film at every theater….. of course we’d have to have cameras in ALL bathrooms…… WE MUST SAVE THE PLANIT! And we’d be billionaires! We’ll have so much money we could use it to wipe…….
BTW, can you think of where i was when i thought of this idea……?