A Feast of Innocent Merriment

By Christopher Monckton of Brenchley

It’s Us

One of the many virtues of my late seventh cousin twice removed (on the wrong side of the blanket, via the Second Duke of Portland) was Her Majesty’s seven decades of dedicated silence. A constitutional monarch, like a child, should be seen and not heard, and should adhere to the ancient Chinese proverb to the effect that “Those who speak do not know: those who know do not speak”.

With fitting reluctance, Her Majesty was induced by the Johnson administration to attend the 26th Gabfest of the Parties in Glasgow last winter (amusingly, Glasgow has not warmed in several decades). There, she let slip a rare indication of her thinking, when she pointed out the hypocrisy of those who preach about the imagined catastrophe of unabated global warming but do nothing about it personally. Think Gore and his private jets.

In private, Her Majesty was famous for her sense of humor (which she needed – just look at her last few Prime Ministers). At Balmoral, her favorite royal residence deep in the Aberdeenshire countryside at the foot of the Highland scarp below Lochnagar, she was prone to drive herself around in a Land Rover. She used to tell the story of a tourist who had lost her way in the hills. The tourist rapped on her window to ask for directions.

Balmorale, as Her Majesty loved it and called it

Her Majesty wound the window down and the tourist, suddenly recognising her, jumped and let out a shriek of astonishment. When visitors to Balmoral (or “Balmorale”, as she called it, for it cheered her up to be in her beloved Scotland) asked Her Majesty to tell the story, she would perform the jump and the blood-curdling shriek for them at the dinner-table.

Her Majesty’s humor – a gentle and always kindly exercise of statecraft – won her the devotion of all who were close to her. Here are a couple of examples.

By tradition, a regiment of the Guards is always stationed at the Victoria Barracks, just below Windsor Castle. Every night, one of the young officers was Captain of the Guard at Windsor Castle, and was obliged to take up residence in the Captain’s Quarters just to the left of the main gate.

In the late 1970s, the Irish Guards were on public duties. From time to time, if an extra man was needed to make up numbers at the Royal dinner-table, the Queen’s Equerry would telephone the guardhouse and order the Captain of the Guard to attend. All of the young officers had thus been invited to dinner at least once, except one, who – by an accident of statistics – had never received the call, and was known to be upset about it.

My old friend the late Captain Nigel (Nosher) Morgan, a.k.a. Football-Face, a Boris Johnson lookalike, was the regimental jester. He was wickedly good at imitating accents, including the icily snotty accent of the then Equerry to the Queen. One evening, the officer who had not yet dined with the Queen had just settled into the Captain’s Quarters when the phone rang.

The Equerry, in his customarily peremptory voice, said that Her Majesty was short of a man for dinner that night; that the officer should get into his mess kit at once, and should present himself at the door to the Maiden’s Tower, where a footman would be waiting to take him up to the Drawing-Room. “If not, just carry on up the helical stair to the drawing room and help yourself to a drink.”

[Architectural footnote: The Royal Household does not perpetrate the transatlantic solecism of describing a helical stair as a “spiral stair”].

The delighted officer struggled into his Gilbert & Sullivan mess kit and went to the Maiden’s Tower. No footman being in sight, he carried on up the helical stair to the drawing room, where Her Majesty’s guests had not yet begun to assemble. After a few minutes, Prince Edward came in with a catapult and began to play Ping the Ming, long a favorite game of the young Royals.

Shortly thereafter, the Duke of Edinburgh arrived and chased Ginge away. He saw the officer and said, “What the *!?= are you doing here?” The officer explained that he was under the Equerry’s orders to make up numbers at dinner. By then, the guests were beginning to gather.

The Duke hissed: “Well, you’re not on the list. Somebody (I can guess exactly who, and so can you) has played a practical joke. So Go. Away. Now!”

Faced with that direct order, the disconsolate Captain of the Guard returned to his quarters, where an unaccountably large number of his brother officers were waiting to console him by helping themselves to his whisky.

A few days later, the officer was Captain of the Guard again. The phone rang. The Equerry’s cut-glass tones shivered the instrument: “A man short … Gilbert & Sullivan … Maiden’s Tower … footman … helical stair.”

The officer replied: “Morgan, you prize ass, you can’t work the same trick twice!”

There was a curt, frosty silence at the other end, following by the shattering of over-stressed Bakelite as the telephone disintegrated [the Royal Household does not use plastic]. “This is Her Majesty’s Equerry. You will attend, or you will face a Court Martial!”

The officer duly attended as ordered, and found that he was not there merely to make up numbers. The Duke of Edinburgh, who had told the Queen the story, personally introduced him to Her Majesty, who sat him at her right hand at dinner and regaled him with a string of anecdotes, and he gave as good as he got. She enjoyed his company so much that she went on to invite him and his belle to attend the annual Summer Ball at Buckingham Palace. None of his brother officers had ever attended that swankest of cotillions.

The second story also concerns the regimental jester. Football-Face had written a spoof article for The Soldier, the Army’s monthly magazine for the troops. His men, who adored him, had selected the handsomest four to attend a local barber’s shop, where they sat in a row in the chairs to have their bearskin hats trimmed, while a photographer took pictures.

The article duly appeared in the April edition of The Soldier, under the authorship of “Colonel I.A. Prylle”, who explained in scientific detail that bearskins contained so much natural sebum that the hair on the Guards’ bearskin bonnets continued to grow for up to 25 years. Therefore,  before every State occasion, it was necessary to arrange for those on public duties to have not only their own locks but also their bearskins trimmed, for which each Guardsman received a special allowance, voted annually by Parliament, to pay the barber’s extra charges.

The Commanding Officer of the Irish Guards, affectionately known to those under his command as the Plank (thick as two short), immediately on seeing the article, put Football-Face on Part One Orders (disciplinary action, for the use of).

When the Regimental Sergeant-Major marched Football-Face in, the Plank, bright red in the face and seething with fury, hollered: “This latest Billy Bunter jape is the vewwy last stwaw. You do wealize, don’t you, that Her Majesty personally weads evewy issue of The Soldier fwom cover to cover evewy month, and she will be FUWWIOUS!”

At that pwecise instant (so goeth the tale, and who are we who were not there to argue with Tradition?) the telephone on the Plank’s desk shattered. The Plank picked up the receiver from among the pieces, went down on one knee (for it was indeed the Queen’s Equerry in person) and went even redder in the face.

“Yes, sir, I’ve got the perpetwator wight hewe in fwont of me. Yes, Part One Orders. I’ve told him Her Majesty … Er, … Eh? What? Her Majesty is delighted? Indeed, fwilled? She says it’s the funniest fing she’s wead in a vewwy long time? And that it’s bally good for mowale? Yes, yes, I’ve already congwatulated Captain Morgan. Yes, him.”

I once had a taste of Her Majesty’s humor myself. On the 25th anniversary of the Queen’s Jubilee, I wrote a leading article for the Yorkshire Post recalling the last speech addressed by Queen Elizabeth I to the Speaker and Members of Parliament, all of whom she had invited to Whitehall Palace a few months before her death:

“Mr Speaker, We perceive your coming is to present thanks to Us. Know, then, that I accept them with no less joy than your loves can have desire to offer such a present, and do more esteem it than any treasure or riches; for those we know how to prize, but loyalty, love and thanks, I account them invaluable.

“And though God hath raised me high, yet this I account the glory of my crown, that I have reigned with your loves. This makes me that I do not so much rejoice that God hath made me to be a Queen, as to be a Queen over so thankful a people, and to be the means under God to conserve you in safety and to preserve you from danger.

“It is not my desire to live or reign longer than my life and reign shall be for your good. And though you have had, and may have, many mightier and wiser princes sitting in this seat, yet you never had, nor shall have, any that will love you better.”

The leading article ended with the heartfelt statement that the second Elizabeth, like the first, might justly say that she reigned with our loves. The BBC World Service cited it in its review of the British Press. The Queen’s Equerry heard the broadcast and put the leader before Her Majesty, who bade him invite the Editor of the Yorkshire Post to lunch tête-à-tête at Buckingham Palace.

The Editor picked his way though the shards of plastic where his telephone had once stood and came to find me at the leader-writers’ station. He plonked himself into a chair and groaned, “Oh, God, Monckton! Now look what you’ve dropped me into.”

“Not to worry, chief,” I responded cheerily, “I’ll go in your place.”

The Editor wasn’t having that. He muttered darkly about the need to preserve the last shreds of the Yorkshire Post’s reputation. He sighed and said that he had been summoned and it was his duty to go.

He thought for a bit and said, “Christopher, the problem is this. You toffs know just what to say, but we horny-handed sons of toil don’t. What happens if we’ve done the weather and we’ve done the cricket and she looks at me and I look at her and neither of us can think of anything to say to the other?”

“Oh,” I said cheerily, “That’s easy. Just explain to her that your leader-writer is her seventh cousin twice removed” [I thought it tactful not to mention the wrong side of the blanket].

He groaned and tottered off to get the train to King’s Cross.

That evening, he returned and re-plonked himself into the chair. “Oh, God, Monckton!”

“How did it go? Tell all!”

“Well, we did the weather and we did the cricket, which she knows a lot about. But then she looked at me and I looked at her and we couldn’t think of a thing to say to each other. So I blurted out the one thing I’d sworn I wouldn’t say. I said, ‘Ma’am, do you know that my leader-writer is your second cousin twice removed?’”

He swears that Her Majesty replied: “Oh, really? Well, kindly have him removed a third time!”

And who are we who were not there to argue with Tradition? How sorely we shall miss her, and how fondly we shall remember the feast of innocent merriment she laid before us, as the reign of the Climate King begins.

The Heir, the Climate King and the Spare at Balmoral

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Zig Zag Wanderer
September 9, 2022 10:26 pm

The Heir, the Climate King and the Spare at Balmoral

When the heir had his hair…

Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 9, 2022 11:54 pm

The Daily Express referred to him as the “hair apparent” which of course is not apparent at all.

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  JeffC
September 10, 2022 12:53 am

Apparently not…

Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 10, 2022 4:43 am

Hairparently not…

Leo Smith
Reply to  JeffC
September 10, 2022 2:01 am

The day the Daily Express manages to spell a headline correctly is probably the day it loses its readership. (Today, we learn the Ukrainians are on the brink of taking Kharviv. I am surprised they haven’t resurrected the apocryphal headline “Ukrainian Army Push Bottles up Russians”)

It is, unashamedly, a comic. Batgirl Liz against Bunter Boris. Zap! Pow! Monstrous Mammaries and Bulging Butts!

But it is preferable to the immaculately crafted propaganda of the Guardian, any day.

No one is tempted to take it in the least bit seriously, nor believe a word it says. If there is a story of genuine interest, you go elsewhere for a more accurate reportage.

Cool Tolerance
Reply to  JeffC
September 10, 2022 4:15 pm

This is nothing to joke about unless you want dear Klaus ruling over you because you can bet that his worldwide spawns are now in activation mode.

Reply to  JeffC
September 11, 2022 9:00 pm

That’s a Royal screw-up!

Steve Case
September 9, 2022 10:49 pm

There, she let slip a rare indication of her thinking, when she pointed out the hypocrisy of those who preach about the imagined catastrophe of unabated global warming but do nothing about it personally.

“…the imagined catastrophe of unabated global warming…”

Is that a direct quote? Seems to me that in that venue, every word would have been officially recorded.

Reply to  Steve Case
September 10, 2022 1:00 am

I think Monkton has a different recollection…..

Here’s the transcript – i can’t find it…


Mark BLR
Reply to  mark
September 10, 2022 4:52 am

I think Monkton has a different recollection…..

His memory is indeed wrong on the details.

The Queen actually made some remarks that were (unintentionally) recorded just before COP-26 (while she was opening the Welsh parliament in the middle of October) about “individuals” — interpreted by journalists as “world leaders” — who “talk but don’t do”.

Example media article :
Queen ‘irritated’ by world leaders talking not doing on climate crisis

Pro-republican activists picked up on this and produced posters for COP-26, at the start of November, highlighting the “climate hypocrisy” of Prince’s Charles and William (at least).

Example media article :
COP26: Royal ‘climate change hypocrites’ billboards roll out across Edinburgh and Glasgow

Cool Tolerance
Reply to  Mark BLR
September 10, 2022 4:23 pm

I remember well, yes. I was surprised.
All I could think of was Charles got to her through repetition in her last years. Maybe Charles brainwashed Philip and along the chain, we go.
Elderly people are so easy to manipulate, tragic.

Reply to  Steve Case
September 10, 2022 7:30 am

I don’t see anything indicating that the above was a direct quote.

Steve Case
Reply to  MarkW
September 11, 2022 7:21 am

Neither did I, which is why I posted that.

Alexy Scherbakoff
September 9, 2022 10:54 pm

Not everyone cares.

Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
September 10, 2022 12:54 am

Well, then don’t read it and let others, who can enjoy it, do so.

Alexy Scherbakoff
Reply to  André TAHON
September 10, 2022 3:14 am

Nobody is stopping you.

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
September 10, 2022 12:55 am

And yet, here you are…

Alexy Scherbakoff
Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 10, 2022 3:15 am

You noticed. Good for you

Reply to  Alexy Scherbakoff
September 10, 2022 7:31 am

For someone who doesn’t care, you sure do spend a lot of time thinking about it.

September 9, 2022 11:34 pm

Number of decades ago I swore oath of allegiance to HM EII, can’t remember was it ‘and her successors’ or ‘ to all of her successors’.
I shall assume it was the second rather than the first, treason could be a serious charge.

Reply to  Vuk
September 10, 2022 12:01 am

And all that idotic stuff from a band of rich interbred parasites eh?

Leo Smith
Reply to  pigs_in_space
September 10, 2022 2:02 am

Now now, leave Hillary Clinton out of this.

Barry Malcolm
Reply to  Leo Smith
September 10, 2022 4:37 pm

Love it Leo! Be nice, not.

Reply to  Vuk
September 10, 2022 12:58 am

“Her heirs and successors according to law” I think.

Reply to  Vuk
September 10, 2022 1:13 am

I made the same oath. IIRC We pledged allegiance to her majesty, and all her heirs and successors

Julian Flood
Reply to  Vuk
September 10, 2022 4:12 am

‘Her heirs and succesors’ is what it says on my commission.


Reply to  Vuk
September 10, 2022 7:33 am

There’s not that much difference between the two statements.
By pluralizing the word successor, they directly imply ‘all’.

Reply to  Vuk
September 10, 2022 10:30 pm

It’s “..allegiance to … and her heirs” Or as Justin Trudeau said when last sworn in as PM of Canada “…her hairs”. (Does that count?)

I find the extravagant funerary and coronary celebrations the British ruling class has launched egregiously obscene, given that much of the UK population is facing the prospect of a winter of freezing in the dark.

One of the richest women in the world has died at home surrounded by servants at age 96 without ever having enjoyed the experience of residing in an old folks home or of being ill in a public hospital. How sad!

I wonder what the parents of starving children in Yemen or Ethiopia, etc., think of the developed world when “our” governments and mass media enthusiastically applaud such costly pomp and circumstance in the midst of the misery of billions around the world?

Reply to  otropogo
September 11, 2022 9:08 pm

The cost of the Royals is a pittance compared to what the idiotic fairy tale Climate Change is costing the starving children in Yemen or Ethiopia and everyone else, except the elites, few of whom are royals anywhere but in their own minds and dreams.

Captain climate
September 10, 2022 12:06 am

What an absolutely charming and funny piece.

Doc Chuck
Reply to  Captain climate
September 10, 2022 12:32 am

Royalty aside (from a ‘Merican’), Her Majesty was a such classy woman in quite the way her mother had modeled so long and well. Long live that grace on high!

Captain climate
Reply to  Doc Chuck
September 10, 2022 5:10 am


September 10, 2022 12:07 am

I gather Heinz-Kerry believes Charles will still be able to speak out like the Pope does.

Don’t worry monarchists, Wills is just as mad…

“The Duke of Cambridge revealed that he lies awake at night worrying that world leaders and politicians are failing to do enough to stop climate change.

He said: “I get outraged by the inaction.

“That’s probably a bit of a cliché but that is what I get most troubled about.”


Off with their heads

Reply to  fretslider
September 10, 2022 12:45 am

The PoW should spend more time ‘attending’ to his wife.

Curious George
Reply to  fretslider
September 10, 2022 2:21 pm

The climate change is inexcusably and outrageously inactive.

michael hart
Reply to  fretslider
September 10, 2022 4:48 pm

I hadn’t heard that particular quote but William is generally very circumspect, as well as being widely liked by the populace.

Unlike his father, he seems to have learned the art of knowing when to shut up. Which is most of the time once you have the top job.

September 10, 2022 12:35 am

Big ears (Charlie-boy) might be a rabid Greeney, but the new minister for industry and energy is Moggy, and he has vowed to dig up every last drop of oil and gas.


Reply to  ralfellis
September 10, 2022 1:17 am

going to get interesting crack out the popcorn

Julian Flood
Reply to  ralfellis
September 10, 2022 4:19 am

In that case he should abandon the plans to build the Sizewell EPR, which would come over-budget and too late to make any difference. But EPR technologies belong to the French government who no doubt have favours to grant.


Reply to  Julian Flood
September 10, 2022 5:36 am

But we still need a nuclear base-load. The EPR would not be my favourite, but at least it will be a reliable power source.

I think we should really be looking towards the Rolls-Royce micro reactors, and to Thorium.


Julian Flood
Reply to  ralfellis
September 10, 2022 5:47 am

The Taishan EPR has already started to give problems — it’s leaking and needs a redesigned containment vessel. Reliable? Not so much.

RR SMRs, yes please.


Reply to  Julian Flood
September 10, 2022 10:15 am

Have you any idea how many RR SMR’s the UK needs? It runs into thousands.

RR is planning the first of 16 in 2030. A day late and a dollar short.

Reply to  Julian Flood
September 10, 2022 10:12 am

Labour under Blair and Brown condemned nuclear on the same basis, it wouldn’t arrive until 2021, so they scrapped it.

We would, right now, be reaping the benefits of shiny new domestic nuclear power had they not done so.

It is said mankind learns from history. Repeating the same old mantra that nuclear will take too long and be too expensive is one lesson we should have learned by now.

Reply to  ralfellis
September 10, 2022 10:04 am

I said it weeks ago, don’t watch who gets the job of PM, watch who is appointed to the cabinet.

Suella Braverman and Kemi Badenoch are two outspoken opponents of NetZero – both appointed.

I was surprised that Rees-Mogg was chosen as he’s loyal to Boris, however he’s not interested in NetZero.

I hoped Steve Baker would be chosen for a cabinet job as he’s a trustee of the GWPF but he’s been given the job of Minister of State for Northern Ireland, presumably because he’s a committed Brexiteer. That’s important as someone needs to sort out the political mess that is NI rather than dithering about. However, he also now has a senior role and the ear of the PM.

Liz Truss herself is an accountant and has worked in the real world. She can do the numbers like no previous PM I can think of. Certainly not Boris – he was a journalist, vying for the most despised profession in the world with lawyers.

When Trump was elected I thought he was just the lesser of two evils. I was wrong, the man turned out to be a brilliant POTUS. I thought the same about Liz Truss however, judging by her cabinet selections, none of whom have demonstrated any meaningful support for NetZero, I think there is a good chance the subject will be gently airbrushed from British politics as we have a damn country to save.

Truss’s objective is to get the economy up and running again PDQ. If she demonstrates success over the coming two years then heads will turn in Europe and the Antipodes as they get left behind.

Boris wanted the UK to lead the world into NetZero, I suspect Truss might just lead the world out of it.

My fingers are securely crossed.

Richard Page
Reply to  HotScot
September 10, 2022 5:55 pm

Even Tom Tugendhat has been given a role, although as an attendee to the cabinet; he’s now minister of state for security in the home office. Looks like Liz Truss is not only looking at the cabinet of today but at giving experience to like minded Tories for future cabinets.

Coeur de Lion
September 10, 2022 1:31 am

Only met her twice at investitures – sharply relevant remarks both times. Well briefed.

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Coeur de Lion
September 10, 2022 3:32 pm

What is even more incredible, is that I don’t believe that she ever made a mistake or faux pas in all of her duties. In her almost incomparable length of reign, she never faltered nor failed to impress. Perhaps there were occasions, but I’m not aware of any.

For someone constantly in the global public eye, and through some very turbulent periods, this is an extremely impressive feat. To me it’s her most impressive, in fact.

Richard Page
Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 10, 2022 5:59 pm

She had some seriously impressive mentors to help guide her, but mostly it was her own abilities to do the job. A truly impressive person.

Ben Vorlich
Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 11, 2022 2:27 am

Misstep when the last Princess of Wales died. But quickly corrected.

Personally I could never understand why an ex-mother-in-law (they’d been divorced over a year) and seperated for 5 years, needed to do anything other than take care of her grandchildren. Diana was killed with her latest partner, there had been several prior to him. But the public thought she was a goddess. I can never think of anything other than “Oh, What a Circus!” from Evita when she’s mentioned.

Then had to hear her son being slagged off at the funeral.

Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 11, 2022 9:39 am

“What is even more incredible, is that I don’t believe that she ever made a mistake or faux pas in all of her duties.”

Apparently you haven’t heard of web cleaners and mass media self-censorship. I wish that were incredible, but sadly, it seems to be the norm in our society, otherwise we would have had to stop reviling “Nazi Germany” long ago.

Reply to  Zig Zag Wanderer
September 12, 2022 7:49 am

She delegated the faux pas to Prince Phillip and minor slip-ups to Princess Anne.

Michael Asten
September 10, 2022 1:39 am

Warmest thanks Christopher Monkton! You have captured the essence of the occasion with reminiscences demonstrating humour in the Royal family which shine through the sadness of the loss. Truth or exaggerated, they are believable, and add much to the joyous memories of the wonderful, now sadly departed, Queen.

Michael Asten

Leo Smith
September 10, 2022 1:52 am

I have decided that on balance, Charlie-boy ain’t gonna risk the monarchy by going out on any political limbs.

He’s been trained from birth on how to behave in the Top Job. And Camilla wants to stay Queen (consort) as long as possible. Good luck to them both. They never did me any harm. If we didn’t have undeserving rich people around, how would we know how to behave when we won the Lottery?

I am always reminded of hearing George Harrison being interviewed over the Tannoy at Silverstone race track the day before the British Grand prix. On being asked what he thought of Formula One he drawled in his wonderful Liverpudlian patois ‘Seems a marvellous way to waste a huge amount of money’

Let the pomp and circumstance roll. It will be a classy pageant. Meantime I look forward to seeing how the Moggster handles his job.

Reply to  Leo Smith
September 10, 2022 2:11 am

Knowing Rees-Smugg he’ll probably open another office in Dublin

Julian Flood
Reply to  Leo Smith
September 10, 2022 5:41 am

I’d disagree with the ‘undeserving ‘ label. The late Queen’s uncle was certainly undeserving but her father, and HM herself worked hard for this country and endured much insult from the chippy and envious.

The greatest argument for the UK monarchy is that it prevents people like the Blairs being top dogs.


Reply to  Leo Smith
September 10, 2022 7:27 am

I disagree, because Charles III doesn’t recognize that CAGW is essentially political.

Reply to  Leo Smith
September 10, 2022 8:09 am

I think you’re right that he will can the public politicking. He will satisfy himself by bending the PM’s ear in their weekly meetings.

Richard Page
Reply to  Charlie
September 10, 2022 6:01 pm

Liz Truss should be able to handle that – after all, she was appointed by his mum!

September 10, 2022 2:11 am

The days of the climate activism by Charles are over. He is now king and the only way he can express a political opinion is through the Prime Minister directly at his weekly briefing with her. At no other time will he express an opinion, he has made clear that he understands and will abide by those constitutional rules, so the title ‘climate king’ is not accurate or relevant.

Reply to  Chris Ainsworth
September 10, 2022 2:53 am

And while still Prince Charles he commented that he would not be in a position to continue to be an activist when he became the King, he said he is not stupid.

Richard Page
Reply to  Dennis
September 10, 2022 3:28 am

I understand him to have said “I am not THAT stupid” (emphasis mine).

Reply to  Chris Ainsworth
September 10, 2022 4:30 am

The days of the climate activism by Charles are over.”

In public, yes. Behind closed doors, no.

Reply to  Chris Ainsworth
September 10, 2022 12:45 pm

I’ll believe he can keep his yap shut in public after a few years have gone by. 50+ years of spewing nonsense is a lot of past performance to overcome.

September 10, 2022 3:36 am

Prince Charles gets his first job at age 73?

Reply to  Richard Greene
September 10, 2022 5:14 am

His Majesty has worked tirelessly for hundreds of charities for half a century. So don’t gripe.

Coach Springer
Reply to  Monckton of Brenchley
September 10, 2022 6:22 am

Tirelessly? Term of art.

Reply to  Coach Springer
September 10, 2022 9:59 am

Yes. Just as they don’t go on holidays like the rest of us, they take a “well-earned break”.

Reply to  Richard Greene
September 10, 2022 9:52 am

He was in the forces; he was Commanding Officer of a ‘Ton’ class vessel for a few months IIRC. Not a small responsibility, twenty or thirty [I guess . . . .]lives.


Richard Page
Reply to  auto
September 10, 2022 6:06 pm

HMS Bronington, 33 crew – sank in 2016 at Birkenhead after being preserved there.

Peta of Newark
September 10, 2022 3:57 am

She got it from Philip.
That guy was wicked at times, he complimented Monty Python beautifully.

Which is really really odd considering The Perfect Lack of Humour possessed of The German Race ##

We’re then left wondering, like Male Pattern Baldness, does a Sense of Humour ‘skip generations’

Or is there a glimmer (chip off the block) of Philip inside our Prince of Chuckles?

## Holy cow, I’ve just figured it – Philip was autistic.
Or at least somewhere ‘on the spectrum‘ That explains soooooo much.

I do so deeply hope I’m wrong because, with Charles, we are really truly fugged.
Not because of Nature as you may think, Nurture is much more powerful and you just need to glimpse at Harry to realise why.

But is Harry actually ‘of Charles‘…..
Mmmmm, not easy is it

Richard Page
Reply to  Peta of Newark
September 10, 2022 4:24 am

Prince Philip’s grandfather was originally from the Danish royal family before going to Greece and the Danes have a very good, dry sense of humour.

Reply to  Richard Page
September 10, 2022 5:13 am

My lovely wife is a Dane, and she has a wonderful sense of humour. She has put up with me for nigh on a third of a century.

Reply to  Monckton of Brenchley
September 10, 2022 10:01 am

Surely “up with me she has put”?

Reply to  Monckton of Brenchley
September 10, 2022 10:23 am

As have we all Chris. 😊

Zig Zag Wanderer
Reply to  Monckton of Brenchley
September 10, 2022 3:36 pm

So Christopher, is your wife a ‘great’ Dane?

(sorry, couldn’t resist)

John Garrett
September 10, 2022 4:14 am

Well done Monckton.

I greatly admire the inimitable and entertaining anecdotes and the prose.

September 10, 2022 4:35 am

Thank you, Christopher for the post.


PS: I enjoyed, “ A constitutional monarch, like a child, should be seen and not heard, and should adhere to the ancient Chinese proverb to the effect that ‘Those who speak do not know: those who know do not speak’.”

Reply to  Bob Tisdale
September 10, 2022 5:10 am

Bob, how unfailingly kind you are!

September 10, 2022 4:50 am

Lord Moncton, a very minor point, but at least when I was a subscriber, it was ‘Soldier’ magazine, not ‘The Soldier’.

Reply to  Disputin
September 10, 2022 8:37 am

I stand corrected!

September 10, 2022 4:59 am

Still, I guess the Climate King is also some sort of cousin of yours. The blanket has probably become more important.

Reply to  Javier
September 10, 2022 10:04 am

The question us proles are faced with is –
“who has to wash those multi-use blankets?”

Julian Flood
September 10, 2022 5:34 am

My Lord, we were not introduced to Her Majesty, we were presented.

(My Facebook page has an explanation of Professor Wigley’s blip which would repay study.)

Reply to  Julian Flood
September 10, 2022 5:43 am

Presentation is the formal process on state occasions or business.

Coach Springer
September 10, 2022 6:27 am

Appreciated the stories. Thought of the cover art for In the Court of the Crimson King with the mention of the Climate King.

Insufficiently Sensitive
September 10, 2022 7:40 am

It’s nice to have a snatch of Gilbert and Sullivan among the turbulence of the ‘talking about the weather’ that goes on in this particular blog most of the time.

Nigel Sherratt
September 10, 2022 11:21 am

Many thanks to MoB for this lovely tribute. Long live the King and may God cure him of his climate delusions.

Nigel Sherratt
September 10, 2022 11:55 am

My favourite HMQ joke was her response to Martin McGuinness’s “How are you?”. “Well, I’m still alive.” McGuinness having, almost certainly, had a major part in the assassination of Lord Mountbatten (and one of his grandchildren).


John Hardy
September 10, 2022 1:06 pm

For the |Queen’s impish sense of humour, google “Queen Paddington Bear” and “Queen James Bond Olympics” and look for the videoa

Reply to  John Hardy
September 11, 2022 9:22 pm

I have watched both of those in the last few days. Superb and hilarious!

Peter K
September 10, 2022 5:25 pm

“Australia’s Greens leader Adam Bandt has caused outrage by calling for a republic hours after Queen Elizabeth’s death”. This is typical of our dumb greens politician. Doesn’t he realise that he should be looking up to King Chuck who is one of the high priests of climate change. Perhaps becoming a republic is a step closer to Socialism and that might be the hidden agenda for the Greens.

September 11, 2022 9:22 am

Three articles from the International Churchill Society in Memoriam:

In Memoriam: Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (1926-2022) (mailchi.mp)

September 11, 2022 1:39 pm

As I watched the queen’s coffin being transported through the land of my ancestors I couldn’t help but think that thankfully for her there were still ICE’s to do the long haul work. I doubt an EV would have been able to handle the distance, time, or weight.

September 11, 2022 8:57 pm

“[Architectural footnote: The Royal Household does not perpetrate the transatlantic solecism of describing a helical stair as a “spiral stair”].

England and America are two countries divided by a common language.
George Bernard Shaw

Tom Abbott
September 12, 2022 5:13 am

God Bless Queen Elizabeth II.

A Unique Woman.

Mike Bryant
September 12, 2022 9:17 am
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