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Here is the Overview Schedule of the entire conference.
And here are some notable selected events for your amusement.
No wonder sleepy Joe dozed off…
Too pooped to attend the workshop for world leaders on combing one’s hair with a beach ball.
Hmmm … we’re getting a lot of coverage about Joe and pooped. Seems he pooped for the Pope. Not very polite.
(when asked if it was true, he responded … “That Depends.”)
Let the Pontificating begin End
First time I’ve had any sympathy for him. 26 car motorcade apparently, too. Walking carbon emissions. disaster.
Shit! Only 26 – it was 85 specially flown in for the Rome G20.
“Traditional knowledge holders”???? What is “traditional knowledge”? Climate change focal points, I can grasp … but what the hell is a “national gender”? Who writes this stuff?
Yes, if everything fails we are going back to sacrifices to appease the gods.
Good luck finding any virgins to sacrifice.
They’ll find plenty of ‘virgins’ on the streets of Glasgow at night !
Traditional knowledge holders = those that agree with us.
National gender = those that agree with us.
Ah … good to know oh wise one.
Wasn’t it fortunate that they were able to identify a young Maori woman who possesses all of that traditional knowledge. No doubt she paddled her canoe all the way from New Zealand.
No doubt she paddled her canoe all the way from New Zealand.
That should go without saying (just like Greta sailed to America in a carbon reinforced plastic yacht).
If the socialist promoters have their way we will all be paddling.
There is actually a useful function for traditional knowledge.
I work in government policy, mostly forestry, and primarily at the operational level focused on balancing wise use and conservation of biodiversity. Basically how do we generate wealth from the forest while maintaining ecosystem function.
We have a number of cases where traditional knowledge has helped us sort out various questions. This paper (not me, but involved) for example looks at using multiple information sources, including traditional knowledge, to re-evaluate the delineation of caribou range boundaries.
Getting range boundaries “right” not only increases the likelihood that caribou will persist on the landbase, which buys us credibility with stakeholders, but in this case also provided more flexibility to increase resource extraction as well.
We’ve similarly used traditional knowledge to locate rare species, special habitat features (e.g. dens, calving grounds, etc.), and to better understand ecosystem function.
The knowledge holders are not always willing to share (long history of failures leading to understandable mistrust of government), and not always from an Indigenous source (e.g. lifetime non-indigenous trappers – there’s still a few left).
I’ve never had a bad experience myself, but I’m aware of other cases where the status of traditional knowledge has been adjusted to gospel, and abused to drive specific outcomes rather than as another piece of evidence to help make decisions.
Traditional knowledge is one of those things which “don’t scale well.”
Yes, traditional knowledge is useful for counting caribou, and there’s good reason for it. Valley A always has good caribou, valley B not so much. An investigation might determine valley A has better cover, better food, better water, clears snow faster than valley B. To a researcher scouring maps in the office, valley A and valley B might look similar and would expect similar game stocking rates. The guy who hunts caribou knows better but doesn’t know why. We can substitute “traditional knowledge” with “boots on the ground.”
From a 10,000 foot view, a policy planner might look at the map and see valley A and valley B, and make absurd decisions lacking the “traditional” or “boots on the ground” knowledge.
My impression of “traditional knowledge” at the COP level is Aunt Martha puts on a costume and beads mimicking what Hollywood depicts as an old fashion native person, mumbles a half-pigeon prayer right out of script-central … channels Jay-Silver-Heels and sheds a crocodile tear for the camera.
I understand what it apparently means, but aren’t you describing local knowledge? There isn’t really anything unique about that, however useful it is when fitting new uses to the location. It always pays to check with the locals (including the trapper) just in case there’s something we missed. However, I think the article was alluding to the “traditional” wisdom of the noble savage, or something like it.
“Traditional knowledge holders” are those ethnic tropical islander girls who measure sea level rise with their legs…
I had an immediate flashback of growing up with National Geographic mags and the coveted issues containing those “Island Girls” with the long legs.
It is like asking the Inuits about polar bear numbers and then completely ignoring their vast daily knowledge on the subject. It helps that they contradict the activists polar bear scare.
I respect the Inuit being able to survive in such a harsh environment, but much of that knowledge is now lost. They don’t live on the ice any longer. They live in towns now. I have little doubt that Susan Crockford knows far more about the bears than the Inuit ever did. We must be careful not to overly romanticize indigenous cultures.
I would prefer to be poked in the eye with a burnt stick than go to any of that.
Thanks, Alexy. Your comment made me laugh!
His name is now Mr Tinned Peach
Ala Monty Python
Maybe a flint knapper would jab you in the ribs to make you pay attention. A presidential napper needed the same treatment
I bet the food’s good
I would be eating prison food after running around with a wooden spoon smacking people on the back of the legs and yelling ‘stop being silly and go home’.
“I bet the food’s good”
Strictly vegan. And most of it raw.
Ooo, getting all “la-di-da” now with a burnt stick stick is it?
Now, the Banana. Come on, come at me with the Banana, man !
Do it like you mean it…
I was going to say something but stopped myself before it was too late.
Not me I was in there with both feet|||||
Sorry, I just can’t resist…….
These idiots believe that including every woke minority group they can find will make the conference relevant to real people.
They really don’t get it. Talk about out of touch.
Is Joe brandon woke?
Fortunately for him, you can be fast asleep AND woke.
“Wake up, Brandon!
*clap clap clap-clap-clap*
Wake up, Brandon!
*clap clap clap-clap-clap*”
They try to spread/trigger bitter resentment and hate toward The Western Civilization.
I guess they forgot what the word “minority group” means. And that elections are decided by majorities. Theorically.
Sooooo much SCIENCE! (Not)
I’m proud none of the rent seekers would shake my Prime Minister’s hand. Means he has done the right thing by his country. Well done, Scomo, clever obfustication with the meaningless net zero pledges, you have my vote again (this time, but be careful).
Actually, it is really offensive that they would not shake his hand after he committed AUD $500m a year for 5 years to water and food projects for them. There should have been gratitude.
The really good stuff is found at the invitation only hospitality suites put on by the rent seeking eco-crony capitalists. They’ll no doubt be spending millions in the hope of generating billions.
Hosted by Saint Greta. Financed by Soros!
So anybody with a “woke” agenda gets a place on the schedule. Must either be hard to find someone/something of substance or they need to extend the meeting to meet their published time. Or probably both.
Pesky right-wing skeptics have falsely claimed that Net Zero by 2050 is all slogans and no detailed plans for progress. Nothing could be further from the truth, as these leaked manifestos, highly detailed plans for 2050 submitted to COP26, show clearly.
Australia: “Hey hey, ho ho, carbon dioxide has to go!”
UK (Boris returning from COP26): “I have in my hand a piece of paper, signed by the UN Chancellor, that guarantees green energy in our time!”
US (Joe Biden): What do we want? Green hydrogen! When do we want it? 2050! (Pssst Joe, Joe, read the teleprompter!”) Oh, “When do we want it? Now!”
Norway: “2, 4, 6, 8, buy an EV, don’t wait.”
NZ: “There is no Planet B bro, just Planet, eh.”
Germany: “Here is our plan, 1000 pages, that clearly outlines detailed costings and clear pathways to reach our goals by 2050” All others: “put that away you idiot, that’s the one with no subsidies and government funding for RE after 2025!!!”
Australia: “Hey hey, ho ho, carbon dioxide has to go!”
Thanks for the reminder of what this is all about.
The people who chanted the original version of your parody are in charge now, and they fully intend to destroy capitalism and western culture. The future is depressing and very ugly.
“Thematic in-session dialogue on Gender Day” No more making fun of nonsense academic meeting subjects!
Underwater basket weaving comes of age.
normal conference BS
beauty parade for the want to be nobodies like Sleepy Joe, BOJO and Jeff BOZO (bezos)
This is high level research for people like Jerry Brown.
I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles and never frowns
Soon I will be president…
(from the COP presentation “Songs Popular with the Left that Don’t Mean what they Think They Mean”)
I could see how women might be pursuaded to finance sunny solar projects, and men might favor the idea of financing hydro-electric dam projects. Any idea of what “gender non-responsive climate finance” might be, though?
Making middle-class cis males prepay for storm damage that hasn’t happened yet.
The theory is if enough people (starting it appears with Sleepy Joe) are bored to death by the whole thing, there will be more for everyone else.
New agenda –
0900 Welcome to Country (Gaelic Version)
0915 Welcome to Country (English)
0930 Welcome to Country (German)
1000 Welcome to Country (Hindi)
1100 Welcome to Morning Tea
Is “Traditional Knowledge Holders, a euphemism for uneducated anti science, believers in witchcraft, types?
I only ask, because they will need their biggest room there to accommodate all of the COP delegates for that one.
I find it hard to see the prime importance of fashion, gender and sports issues, but the finance issue is important.
Big finance seeing how much it can skim off government (sorry taxpayers) subsidies, and some others complaining that the ‘cheque’ hasn’t arrived yet. IIRC it is held up in the post until 2023.
Meanwhile if they bothered to look outside the conference centre they would see thar wind generation has fallen from 12 GW down to 2.6 GW in he space of 3 hours and the coal plants have been fired up and are now generating 2.5 GW.
It should be a good demonstration of the pitfalls of our current energy policies, but I suspect they will be too occupied with waffle and saving the planet at their various jollies.
Fashion is important. You would be surprised how big an impact production of cotton has on the planet. Whole seas have been drained for it.
And clothes making is the first mass-production industry any nation develops.
That session is not to be mocked.
Didn’t you mean not to be smocked 🙂
UN should change its name to UM? United Marxist here Neo-, Cultural-, Woke and Post modernists etc.. This is just like Comintern in Moskow Comintern (spartacus-educational.com) ? Its all about total and absolute political power to dominate over all and everything on Earth.
You can laugh, but that’s a punishing schedule to achieve absolutely nothing.
Nothing is best case..
Have to wonder how well-attended any of these sessions will be. Especially if the attendees were up to all hours carousing in the private hospitality suites….
They seem to have missed out a session on methane free unicorn farming.
Yes! Tie these leftarded morons up with “gender” issues! Bog them down in endlessly endless stupidity about “pronouns” and other mentally retarded garbage.
Thank you for showing the agenda.
So many meetings of so many bureaucrats!…
Meeting prolifertion is one of the modes of reproduction of bureaucracy and the creation of new bureaucrats.
For sure COP36 will have a lot more sprecialized, sectorial meetings…
Many words some of them very big with lots of letters but they all add up to the same thing NOTHING.
But there will be many earnest worshipers of the great god climate who will nod sagely at the end of all this and say “didn’t we do well”?
Used to have a sheet of technical sounding phrases that were numbered and lettered with the idea that you got someone to pick random numbers and letters and put these phrases together in the chosen order to produce a very smart sounding load of nonsense.
Sounds like the blueprint they used for this.
You mean, like this ?
Carbon reduction is essential to citizens of Glasgow. Kwasi Kwarteng says he can fix it so China will burn less coal. Glasgow dustmen will clean up, after COP 26, Union leaders said “As long as it’s not a nuclear catastrophe, we will stay there. We need to be proactive when it comes to cleaning up carbon dioxide emissions. The way to do it, is to gather all the Carbon and burn it before it can become dangerous CO2.”
He urges an alternative energy approach: “The only way we can stop carbon dioxide emissions is if we get back to full energy.” As he does so, Kwarteng calls on his colleagues from the local government and the Scottish government to launch a campaign, using the hashtag #carbonneutralgas – a campaign intended to spark more awareness about how safe coal is to the general public. “Our aim will be to give more people in Scotland the chance to put some serious energy into this country.”
He also wants us to look to the US to try and tackle climate change. Joe Biden is looking to create another huge energy company to help grow this energy sector while he heads to Warsaw. The President wants to know: “What are the advantages of working with your own American friends to help reduce your emissions and help you get into an energy transition that will benefit Scotland?”
Learn how Carbon reduction really can work, by burning coal in a new special furnace, with built in obsolescence, meaning the plant will be closed, before it even opens. Next year we are hoping to close a coal mine, before it was even dug. So if you would like to read more about the campaign, click below:
I’m sure the locals from the city of culture 1990 will make them welcome.
See you Jimmy !
Noo hoozefurra platefae o’ ra-burrzie krinn-clay cutchips ?
Gieza brayik china 🤣