Guest essay by Eric Worrall
Worried that your sex toy might be made of petroleum products? Have you checked the ingredients in your lube? The BBC wants to help people who might be worried about the carbon impact of their sex life.
Eco-friendly sex: What is it and how does it impact on climate change?
By Harriet Orrell
BBC World Service…
What is eco-friendly sex?
“For some, being eco-friendly sexually means selecting lubes, toys, bed sheets and condoms that have less impact on the planet,” explains Dr Adenike Akinsemolu, an environmental sustainability scientist from Nigeria.
“For others, it entails reducing the damage in the creation of porn to workers and the environment. Both examples are valid and of importance.”
The UN Population Fund estimates around 10 billion male latex condoms are manufactured each year and most are disposed of in landfills.
That’s because most condoms are made from synthetic latex and use additives and chemicals, meaning they cannot be recycled.
Lambskin condoms, which have been used since Roman times, are the only fully biodegradable option. However, they are made from the intestine of a sheep and do not prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Many lubes are also petroleum-based, and therefore contain fossil fuels. This has led to a rise in water-based or organic products. And homemade options are becoming more popular.
…
Lauren lives almost entirely waste-free and, since 2012, has collected anything she hasn’t been able to recycle in a jar.
You won’t find condoms in Lauren’s jar and, as they are the only contraception effective against STIs, she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.
…
The climate impact of reproducing
Which brings us to another point where sex and the environment collide – having children.
According to a 2017 study, living car-free saves about 2.3 tonnes of CO2 a year, while sticking to a plant-based diet saves 0.8 tonnes. By comparison – if you live in the developed world – not having a child saves about 58.6 tonnes per year.
…
Read more: https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-59046518
Lauren Singer looks pretty attractive, but personally I’d feel nervous about falling asleep next to someone who prides herself on putting things she no longer has a use for in her special jar.
Of course, having the British government BBC, or someone like Lauren, lecture you on the carbon friendly way to have sex probably causes an immediate reduction of the “problem”, so maybe the issue wouldn’t pop up in that scenario.
Obviously having the government and climate fanatics like Lauren lecturing people about how to enjoy sex without harming the planet is not nearly intrusive enough to keep the planet safe from waste and excessive carbon dioxide.
For the last few years, scientists have been working on a machine which can read your thoughts, including your dreams. The current generation device is the size of a room, and its ability to make sense of your thoughts is extremely limited, barely functional. But I keep thinking, the first computers were also just as large and clunky.
As the technology is developed a device could conceivably eventually be produced which could be implanted into your head, which would help wearers lead entirely carbon guilt free lives, by analysing their thoughts in realtime and warning them when they were thinking about doing something which might harm the planet.
If bad think persists, the implanted device could send a report to the climate police, so the government could assign the miscreant to the nearest climate re-education facility.
One, two… scalpel on standby.
Or just be such a woketard no one wants to have sex with you?
Nailed it..
She’s not getting any thus nobody else can.
Yet again= the politics of the playground
A *very* similar story went past on the beeb about 2 years ago. (thought I bookmarked it but didn’t)
Did bookmark this tho..
Headline (May 2019): “British people ‘having less sex’ than previously”
Oh hello, does this *possibly* explain anything in conjunction the above link.
Or is this what’s grieving the less-than-lovely Lauren?
It certainly explains the story we’ve just seen about Joanna Lumley…
An ageing actress, quite perfectly stereotyped by her role in Ab-Fab, has found herself with no work and little money.
First thing she needs is a little publicity, to remind the world she’s still alive and kicking
This is where the notion of ‘Never better‘ is turned completely upside down – like The Earth was 85mya and as we’ve just learned.
Because the only peeps who would give Joanna any publicity was/is the Climate Gutterati at the Grauniad
(You know why that was – Grauniad and BBC are haha “In bed together” but the BBC is not allowed to blatantly advertise anything. Except itself and the Grauniad)
So, ta-dahhhh, Joanna gets Free Publicity for her job-hunting exercise.
Exactly as described in the book I linked to.
So, we clearly see how “The World is Never Better‘ because the dear, old and genuine National Treasure that is Joanna Lumley had been forced to publicly humiliate and prostitute herself ‘for the climate’
Which takes us right back to the top of this story = Nothing is off limits to these hideous people.
But: Magical Thinking borne of consuming sugar, booze and their own media ‘product’ tells them they are perfectly On Limit and so they project their dysfunction onto everyone else, using the BBC and the rest of the MSM
Just Switch It Off – bring on the renewable unreliables.
Pull The Plug.
Build the windmills – they’ll be just as good at chopping up the Grauniad and BBC as they are at chopping our feathered friends of an aerial disposition.
(Not TV aerial – I only still have one because, you couldn’t make it up but, what we in the UK call Love Birds love sitting on it. Maybe properly= ‘Collared Doves’ = small beige coloured pigeons that ALWAYS go around in pairs)
It will herald the dawn of a genuine ‘never better’ era wherein these legions of meddlesome nobodies are rendered dumb and haha, impotent.
They should not be allowed to breed anyhow … save the planet already all you woke losers.
But that means woketards are only having sex with other woketards and that can’t be good.
You mean multiplying “woketards” isn’t like multiplying negative numbers so you get a positive? What a disappointment.
Woketardiness MUST be from a regressive gene. Obviously. So they really shouldn’t breed together.
At least she is a biological dead end. That’s a good thing.
A non-violent winner of the Darwin Award?
During the pandemic, it is important to maintain a social distance of 2 metres when having sex. And don’t forget to wear masks too.
Which leads to the question, Where do you wear the mask?
You don’t need to wear a mask, a paper bag will do.
Unless she’s a two bagger. One for her and one for you in case the one she’s wearing falls off.
(h/t to Rodney)
There’s a joke in there somewhere that would more safely be applied to that fish I caught.
“she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”
If they are sleeping, they are doing it wrong.
Having sex causes heavy breathing and therefore more CO2 output. If you believe in a climate crisis, stop having sex! In fact, stop reproducing, stop eating, and stop breathing. Do everyone a favor.
I was immediately alerted when I read, “she asks all her sexual partners to get tested” . I had a flash vision of a little kiosk just outside her door with a steady flow of young men being field tested and inspected for suitability, with ‘Big Nurse’ in charge.
“Dear gawd … what am I doing here? It must be a nightmare.”
Hope Little Johnny measures up
I’m wondering how many shattered males have not measured up to her exacting standards … in the tens, the hundreds. The mind boggles.
“she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”
She shouldn’t be having sex with others (it’s what your hands are for ! ), think of the carbon footprint of all these tests & oral contraceptives.
“she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”
She jsut wants to be sure they are sponge worthy.
I am not sure about the ‘Carbon” Guilt-Free Sex but there are certainly many Eco-Loons who would benefit from a re-training session in the nearest climate re-education facility proposed by Eric.
What kind of raving degenerate thinks of this stuff? We’re lapsing into a dystopia of feminist gender studies majors applying their twisted delusions into every corner of our lives. I think the revolution is long overdue.
Here I was thinking of applying to study a course in feminist glaciology…
You have to understand that they think glaciology should be feminine because we talk about glacial and interglacial PERIODS. How could we possibly understand the ice age from a male point of view? Who needs more evidence than that.
I warn you, those courses can be verrrry long and you need to bundle up well.
Below is one solution: a person just has to toggle what they prefer & tell themselves it’s eco-free safe sex.
Are those switches in the on or off position ? Could be age dependent I guess
Well, in the USA, they’d be ‘on’. In the UK and Australia, they’d be ‘off’. Oddly, in many European countries they don’t follow a pattern, although they do in some.
Could depend if they were using multi pole switches. I guess in that case they’d be position fluid?
How long to Chinese made switches last??
Hence my question
They look rather “Turned On” to me
Do they bounce when touched?
And yet she keeps a dog as a pet, an animal that, during its lifetime, emits twice as much CO2 as not one but two Toyota Landcruisers
The exhaust of my Land Cruiser smells a lot better than the exhaust of my dog, I can tell you!
Well stop feeding your dog diesel.
Not to mention methane!
I think the eco-loons are going to get a big shock when they eventually realise how many products contain fossil fuels. ‘Rabbits’ will be the least of their worries
Well, tests for STIs are out. Contraceptives are out.
Lauren is S Outta Luck….
Oh, dear. Without carbon-based products you can’t have tests. Sorry, you have to go without or risk infection.
And there are no contraceptives that don’t use carbon-based products, either, so you’ll need to have lots of ankle-biters or go without too.
OK, no nookie at all for Lauren, unless perhaps she likes the seventy-less-one option, and will risk infection too.
Ooooops!
I didn’t see it in the article, but lets say Lauren is 30. Since most women are physically capable of having children starting around 13 or 14, Lauren could have had 15 or 16 children. Assuming all would have been single births. Over the course of her fertility Lauren is going to avoid having at least 30 children. That’s enough to compensate for the Duggar’s.
It’s much nicer on grass as long as it’s not raining
It’s not written by the delightful Miss Singer, but by Dr Adenike Akinsemolu, an “environmental sustainability scientist” from Nigeria. who’ll doubtless be joining the rest of the party goers in Glasgow.
Is he the guy that used to be a Nigerian Prince who needed your help to gain access to his inheritance? But I guess his new gig pays better – and he gets to visit Glasgow!
What? You mean I don’t get my money from him?
Look, I know this is all in jest, but be careful. You may give them ideas.
After all, 1984 was supposed to be a severe warning, and look where that got us, eh?
I don’t think they need my help to think up new nightmare scenarios…
Doubtless Harriet enjoys a bit of Orrell sex
That’s low Carbon
The BBC must have a huge carbon footprint. Studios filled with t5housands of watts of lighting – camera chewing up power -outside broadcast trucks, massive silent diesel generators and a fleet of many vehicles. To save the planet the BBC should immediatley stop broadcasting 24 hours a day. To save the planet they should come on the air at 6pm for 4 hours. All studio productions must also stop – Tv productions should be limited to two productions a week and solar powered lights and camera should be used. The BBC is so busy lecturing people on saving the planet they ignore their huge carbon footprint and electricity usage – the size of a small African country
‘One’ really could wonder about the existence of a ‘God’
Addendum to my previous raving and while composing same, this little nugget was newly-arrived in my Inbox.
here – is what’s wrong with Lauren
(Girls need testosterone just as much as boys but, because they make so little of their own, they gotta look after what they have got)
At least Lauren got one thing right (slide 9 of that little show)
You know me, what do all the other slides tell you…
Moi?
That slide-show is a catalogue of Soil Erosion and Roundup Poisoning.
*THAT* is where all the babies went
(Science, education, politics and especially ‘Empathy’ = the understanding of others, all went with them)
edit to PS
and is THE ROOT CAUSE of most Covid fatalities
Totally OT, but for UK residents …
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/599602
Sounds great, right?
The petition thing is their way of containing dissenting views
Get 100,000 signatures and the snouts in the trough will discuss it; no more. Can you honestly see Parliament giving the people another referendum after the mauling it got at the last one?
Who can you see voting for it in the House?
A referendum? Not a chance in H3ll I would support one, it would be stitched up as tightly as the 2020 US election.
What’s needed is for everyone to pile in following the inevitable failure of COP26 and make damn sure Boris understands that NetZero is a complete non starter in the UK.
You only have to go to the comments section of any MSM publication to understand what the mood of the country is about his hair brained scheme.
It needs buried, not voted on.
I have signed it, but I doubt it will do anything to distract the politicians from their ruinous climate policies.
Sound a bit like Zappa’s “Let’s make the water turn black” and Kenny’s little creatures on display … in jars.
So, that is where Joanna Lumley got her nasty opinions…
Brought to you by radical leftists! An utterly useless device that programs your mind or snitches to the police and all of the information/words proving a person guilty…
Lovely, an utterly useless for humanity device, how very despotic government of them.
That was a sarcastic comment by Eric Worrall…
Yes, I was probably thinking of Lauren’s little jar…
The joke about what you would do with a 365 day collection of condoms comes to mind here
Recycling condoms? Eww! No thank you.
Reminds me of the joke where a soldier comes in to the drugstore to have a condom repaired. The druggist recommends a new one. The solder goes out and returns later, saying, “You’re in luck man, the regiment has decided to replace!”
The way I heard the joke, from a colleague named McDonald, was that it was a Scottish regiment.
Is her jar left over from counting all the jelly beans?
I SO do not want to meet this young woman! She reminds me of all the nasty aspects of the fairer sex I discovered while working as a bartender! At least now I’m fully trained for Congress!
I found my wife at a fraternity party. Instead of going to the bar where the free drinks were, I headed to the dance floor and checked out the girls who were watching the dancing.
Many religious sects try to prevent extramarital sex as it is known to lead to dancing!
Oh Dear! We are scraping the barrel here, are we not?
So long as the ecopaths stop breeding we will achieve nerd immunity and be saved.
The next faction to break away from Extinction Rebellion will be called Masturbate Britain, their manifesto will be The Joy of Green Sex…_
Even masturbating isn’t always environmentally friendly.
I remember reading an article last year about how to save the planet when self isolating. One of the suggestions was for blokes to have a wank sock to clean up with afterwards rather than using toilet paper which can’t then be recycled.
This isn’t a joke someone actually wrote an article for a site called Ecohustler that included the wank sock idea. I’m pretty sure it’s http://www.ecohustler.com/nature/20-ways-to-save-the-world-when-youre-self-isolating Sadly I couldn’t access the article to make sure I’ve got the right one.
If nothing else these idiots are good for a laugh.
For some reason the article referred to above has disappeared from the ecohustler website, did they realise how ridiculuse it made them look?
The link above simply comes up with a blank page, however the article is genuine and is available on the wayback machine, although it refers to a spunk rag rather than wank sock.
From the article: “You won’t find condoms in Lauren’s jar and, as they are the only contraception effective against STIs, she asks all her sexual partners to get tested before sleeping with them.”
Practical, but not very romantic.
Things are going nicely, and then Lauren calls a halt to it, and tells her partner the rest is postponed until after the Doctor’s results are in.
Her partners should probably be notified of her requirements in advance, and when they show up with a Doctor’s permission slip, then they won’t have to interrrupt their activities right in the middle of it all.
But what are we going to do about fake Doctor’s permission slips? That might be a problem.
Tom,
Could you not add it to one of those Chinese Communist Flu Vexine Phone apps?
Haha. Roaring laughter is a sane response.
The only rule with those toys is simple. Only use batteries, never the mains.
I had to I check the date, no it is not April 1st.?
How will we ever be able to maintain the fun of that day when stories this crazy are now actual true stories?
is nothing sacred anymore.
The Babylon Bee was forced to create Not the Bee, because reality was becoming so good at parodying itself they were struggling to stand out.
And Not The Bee was recently suspended from Twitter for accurately reporting a story (don’t recall what)
They got banned for reporting on the banning of another account over called a biological male, a biological male.
In the same week we were suspended from Twitter, Twitter claimed that it favors rightwing voices on its platform | Not the Bee
“So let’s get this straight. Our account was banned. For reporting that another account was banned. And the reason for the original account being banned was for suggesting that Rachel Levine – who was born a man – is a man. Which violates the rules of Newspeak, my friends.”
Hmmm. I’m all for Free Sex even if it comes with Carbon Guilt.
Naturally, DIY has the lowest climate impact, but excessive panting during orgasn will increase personal CO2 emission.
Anyone worried about the planet when they are about to have sex has more to worry about than the planet, mainly themselves. And someone about to have sex with the worry wort should be concerned because they tend to be unsanitary saving the trees and all.
Hilarious. Won’t use condoms because “bad for nature” but get a whole lot of lab tests with all the attendant chemicals, processes and energy requirements – that’s OK because I can’t actually see the resources being used. If you sleep with this woman do whatever you can to ensure she doesn’t have offspring. Our collective intelligence can’t deal with the outcome.
The payments you would be making would only be sustainable for her.
I’d also suggest making sure there are no sharp implements within her reach, You never know when she might decide that saving the planet requires a “sacrifice” from you of something you don’t wish to part with. (John Wayne Bobbitt can tell you all about how that’ll feel). She probably even has a jar already prepared for it.
“Lambskin condoms, which have been used since Roman times”
Reminds me of a Dana Carvey Grumpy Old man sketch.
In my day we didn’t have fancy latex condoms. We wrapped it up in lambskin. They didn’t work and you couldn’t feel a thing AND WE LIKED IT.
I hear that Kiwi shepherds like to try out the lambskin condoms before they’ve been removed from the lambs.
“Fresh Is Best”
What is the carbon footprint of organising, travelling to, and utilising STD sample collection and analysis products compared to a gram or so of mass produced latex?
Surely this is another of Peter Boghossian’s spoofs.
Sure is telling…the things about which these leftist obsess. They always preach a narrative that they rarely practice.
Naturally we would call this ‘Orrell’ sex . . .
Surely the best way for Lauren to enjoy carbon neutral sex is for her to become a lesbian.
No need to worry about the carbon footprint of birth control, and presumably the risk of catching an STD is miniscule, so she wouldn’t need to worry about contraception or her partners having a carbon positive test.
If she can’t take that one positive step then she isn’t completely committed to the cause she claims to believe in and we should ignore her hypocratic rantings.
The BBC have a “Special Disinformation Reporter”. I have no problem with them working out what is real and false information. However, when that person is an ex-Guardian leftie, I am not sure we will be getting a fair interpretation on what is truth and lies. According to the BBC’s Trending podcast they have a whole team of people looking at “disinformation”.
The BBC also got into bed with one of the American news providers (CBS in 2017, replacing ABC which they did a deal with in 1994) so it is no surprise that the BBC’s American news looks like their coverage.
I think you misunderstand their role. “The Special Disinformation Reporter” isn’t there to find the false information, they’re there to create it.
I would like to encourage more BBC programs like this. If they work successfully, then the reproduction rate of morons will Decreased markedly. This is a win-win for all of us.
“Lauren Singer looks pretty attractive, “
only on the outside. Seems pretty ugly on the inside, IMO.