Friday Funny: Greta Thunberg’s perfect petroleum-free world

One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one in which there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.

“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.

“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.

Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fiber bristles.

“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”

“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.

“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”

“Why’s there no running water?” Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.

“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT, “Where do we begin?” There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .

“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.

“Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”

“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.

“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs. Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.

“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.

I’d like to take credit for this, but I didn’t write it:

“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”

“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”

“Not anymore,” explained godmother “The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based. Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not an easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing – being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”

This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fiber boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet.

Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.

— I Am Not the Author of This

h/t to Richard Courtney on Facebook

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Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 8:14 am

This is superb! Send copies to Mr Biden and the AOC mob, please.

Greg
Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 10:41 am

yes, brilliant.

“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT,

Love it.

RockyRoad
Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 10:47 am

Why? They want power and nothing else.

While we’re arguing about the flaws in the Green New Deal, they’ll subvert the political system to remain in power forever, hence their true objective is accomplished.

They couldn’t care less about the trivia.

Steve Taylor
Reply to  RockyRoad
October 30, 2020 12:01 pm

THEY might have power…..we, the poor old deplorables, won’t….

Robertvd
Reply to  RockyRoad
October 31, 2020 11:49 am

They are puppets and nothing else. The question should be : Who has the power and can print all it needs to corrupt the system ? Both parties are just the right and the left wing of the same bird of prey.

Craig
Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 11:14 am

Maybe Greta wants to go back to whale oil for lubrication?

Julian Flood
Reply to  Craig
October 30, 2020 11:57 am

An image I could have done without.

JF

Ken
Reply to  Craig
October 30, 2020 12:52 pm

It wasn’t until the late 1970’s that animal fats stopped being used to lubricate the machines in factories. At the steel mill I worked at in the late 1980’s, there were many areas you tended to avoid during the hot summer months. Those animal fats would rise up from the wooden block flooring just as rancid as you couldn’t imagine. California, no less.

Steve Keohane
Reply to  Ken
October 30, 2020 1:45 pm

Living in Indiana in the 50s, my mom would save the bacon fat in a quart-size metal container. This was solely because one of our favorite pastimes in the summer was to play in the melted tar on the roads with our perpetually bare feet. The bacon fat would dissolve the asphalt tar.

Doug Huffman
Reply to  Steve Keohane
October 31, 2020 5:43 am

My grandmother described breaking my mother of the habit of chewing tar as ‘gum’. There was a jar of wheat in the barn that we were to chew until the starch converted to sugar.

Lee L
Reply to  Ken
October 30, 2020 5:21 pm

No prob. We’ll use Vegan lubricants no?

Hivemind
Reply to  Lee L
October 31, 2020 4:59 am

Vegans don’t make very good lubricants – not very much fat in them, anyway.

InActivist
Reply to  Craig
October 30, 2020 12:58 pm

It IS a VERY good lubricant…

Dena
Reply to  InActivist
October 30, 2020 6:00 pm

The replacement for whale oil is Jojoba oil. When they first started looking at it there was a scam to invest in a press to extract the oil. Because whale oil was becoming very scarce, many people invested only to discover they had fallen for a scam.

Jeffery P
Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 12:53 pm

Those people are willfully blind to facts, basic science or even basic math. Their minds are closed. Reality does not matter.

For them, “facts” are based upon ideology, not the physical world. They have an obvious mental defect in this regard. (Ok, lots of mental defects)

If the mental health community were actually concerned about helping people, they would create DSM codes for leftism, Marxism and TDS.

Doug Huffman
Reply to  Jeffery P
October 31, 2020 5:46 am

Yes, STEM is doomed.

It is a good time to be old, soon a good day to die. Imagine the cultural changes that the old aborigines saw to cause them to make those statements.

Reply to  Jeffery P
October 31, 2020 6:05 pm

ROFL, thankyou.

InActivist
Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 12:55 pm

Dudley said “…Send copies to Mr Biden and the AOC mob, please.”
Fools errand.
They would not understand, Dudley. Fact has no place in their dogma.

Reply to  InActivist
October 31, 2020 6:11 pm

Indeed, their method of knowledge is emotions.

When they are not winning a ‘debate’ they just double down on that methods, so get angry.

A big question is why they are so negative about humans that they are blind to what is obvious around them – people planting and nurturing, people creating, people collaborating.

Robert of Ottawa
Reply to  Dudley Horscroft
October 30, 2020 3:03 pm

I am sorry, I must complain. It is the production of CO2 that ThingBird is opposed to; CO2, AKA the natural result of the combustion process. So, she cannot ever use FIRE to cook her eggs. No Cooking. In fact, these idiots really do want an end to combustion, which puts them back into the time before our brains developed to their current sizes – except for followeres of GretaThing, who have remained as smallbrained as ever.

Brad
Reply to  Robert of Ottawa
October 30, 2020 5:47 pm

When you exhale, what is the natural byproduct of your breathing process?

Bryan A
Reply to  Brad
October 31, 2020 1:38 am

If you could just hold your breath…
If you could just hold your breath…
If you could just hold your breath…

I can hold my breath for a very long time

Creepshow Leslie Nielsen 1982

Jane Michaels
Reply to  Bryan A
October 31, 2020 6:26 am

“Now– for a breath I tarry
Nor yet disperse apart–
Take my hand quick and tell me,
What have you in your heart?”

“I see the Evil Carbon
Saying mean things in the air
Now let’s all go build windmills
That work about once a year”

John Tillman
October 30, 2020 8:15 am

At least Sweden has lots of trees!

But whether enough to sustain its current population, dubious.

Greta needs to get to work digging a well, then lining it with mortar and rocks. And making wooden buckets. With stone tools, unless she can get a wood- or dung-fired furnace going.

Adam
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 11:05 am

There’s a famous 1971 Swedish film, “The Emigrants.” Perhaps Greta should watch it to see what life was like in near-medieval 19th Century Sweden.

John Tillman
Reply to  Adam
October 31, 2020 12:15 pm

Starving children, leading Max von Sydow to MN, where he measures top soil in amazement.

Doug Huffman
Reply to  John Tillman
October 31, 2020 5:53 am

I prefer Scandinavian police procedure genre shows. Recently a case involved a serial killer that stashed his corpses in rural wells. There were an astonishing number of dug wells(!) and with incredible craftsmanship in the linings.

Joe Crawford
Reply to  John Tillman
October 31, 2020 10:13 am

“At least Sweden has lots of trees!” Do away with petroleum products and Sweden will look like Haiti in 10 or 12 years.

John Tillman
Reply to  Joe Crawford
October 31, 2020 12:17 pm

Cold Haiti!

Reply to  Joe Crawford
October 31, 2020 6:15 pm

Indeed, there’s a society based heavily on mysticism and superstition, a voodoo worshiping society.

In contrast, next door in the other part of the island is the green Dominican Republic.

Haiti was getting so bad that needy charities there told some Canadians not to come on their every-two-years trip to help, because it was too dangerous for whiteys – thugs would assume they are rich and attack them.

Al Miller
October 30, 2020 8:45 am

How darest thou!
Living in the dark ages with the Green overlords taking care of of all our needs would so wonderful.
I’m happy, happy happy, (or I will be imprisoned and “taught” goodthink).

Gordon A. Dressler
October 30, 2020 9:02 am

Regarding that lead-in picture of Greta: maybe it’s just me, but I’d say it’s about time to call in an exorcist.

Or is it the Halloween season? Just saying . . .

beng135
Reply to  Gordon A. Dressler
October 30, 2020 9:47 am

The season of the witch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU35oCHGhJ0

ht/ Dovovan

Vuk
Reply to  Gordon A. Dressler
October 30, 2020 10:12 am

She has been around for a while, here seen in Yukon Territory in Canada during the Klondike Gold Rush
https://i.insider.com/5dd6766079d7573cde1850f4?width=700&format=jpeg

Carl Friis-Hansen
Reply to  Vuk
October 30, 2020 12:05 pm

She looks less angry during the Klondike Gold Rush.
Well spotted picture.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Vuk
October 30, 2020 3:18 pm

That looks like child labor! How dare they!

Ron Long
Reply to  Gordon A. Dressler
October 30, 2020 10:34 am

Gordon, goof on the Doom Pixie at your own peril. h/t Delingpole.

Gordon A. Dressler
Reply to  Ron Long
October 30, 2020 10:56 am

Not to worry . . . I can handle all the (global, CO2-caused) heat that she can dish out.

Hans Erren
October 30, 2020 9:06 am

As for the root canal, she can stick a clove in her molar which was transported to Sweden by a sailing ship from Zanzibar.

WRMAC
Reply to  Hans Erren
October 30, 2020 1:14 pm

What was her molar doing in Zanzibar?

Michael S. Kelly
Reply to  WRMAC
October 31, 2020 9:05 am

+42!

October 30, 2020 9:08 am

The wunderfull New Green World 😀

Reply to  Krishna Gans
October 30, 2020 9:14 am

What wonder… 😀

Steven Miller
October 30, 2020 9:09 am

“One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one in which there were no petroleum products ruining the earth.”

Cute is not one of the adjectives that I would use to describe Greta. She reminds me more of out of control children throwing temper tantrums inside of grocery stores after their parent has refused to buy them something.

John Tillman
Reply to  Steven Miller
October 30, 2020 9:26 am

On 24 August, Greta returned to school after her gap year and pandemic interruption. This is good, since she turns 18 in January 2021.

But of what use school, since she already knows that the science is settled?

She may chose to become a fulltime activist rather than pursue studies at a university, as the LeBron James of activism.

SMC
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 11:09 am

Is LeBron James the kid that got drafted into the NBA out of high school?

John Tillman
Reply to  SMC
October 30, 2020 12:11 pm

Yes.

Now generally considered the second GOAT. Some rate him above Michael Jordan, but not I, who remember his performance against the Blazers.

Wharfplank
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 2:20 pm

I haven’t watched NBA since the Jordan/Barkely showdown in the 90’s…the modern game has way too much traveling, double-dribbling, charging, fouling, etc…

SMC
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 4:51 pm

@Wharfplank, I can’t remember the last time I watched a basketball game. I got tired of the attitudes a couple of decades ago.

GOAT= Greatest of All Time?? Whatever, it’s a game, who cares. Definition 2, below, is probably more appropriate.
goat
noun gōt
plural goats
Definition of goat
1. a. or plural goat: any of various hollow-horned ruminant mammals (especially of the genus Capra) related to the sheep but of lighter build and with backwardly arching horns, a short tail, and usually straight hair
especially: one (Capra hircus) long domesticated for its milk, wool, and flesh
b. capitalized : CAPRICORN
2: a licentious man : LECHER
3: SCAPEGOAT sense 2

beng135
Reply to  John Tillman
October 31, 2020 8:01 am

Wharfplank says:
I haven’t watched NBA since the Jordan/Barkely showdown in the 90’s…

I haven’t watched the NBA since the Chicago Bulls vs Detroit Pistons match-ups.

John Tillman
Reply to  Steven Miller
October 30, 2020 9:28 am

Of course, Mr. James is now himself also a part-time activist, nearing the end of his wildly successful first professional career.

Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 10:32 am

What year will Lebron make his first run for president?

John Tillman
Reply to  Ralph Dave Westfall
October 30, 2020 11:33 am

Could do so in 2024 if he wanted. He’d be among good company:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_presidents_of_the_United_States_by_education#Did_not_graduate_from_college

Truman was the last president without a college degree. The first was Washington.

Erast Van Doren
Reply to  John Tillman
October 31, 2020 8:06 am

I can hardly see any correlation between the education and how good the president was. The best educated (Wilson, Carter, Bush, Obama) were actually the worst.

John Tillman
Reply to  John Tillman
October 31, 2020 12:20 pm

There isn’t much correlation, although some of the best were also well-educated.

Hoover was the only one with a scientific degree, ie geology from Stanford.

Ron Long
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 10:33 am

John, I’m not sure what Lebron James will do next, but today Dr. Ben Carson is quoted as saying “I wouldn’t want Lebron to be doing neurosurgery”. Maybe he will complete his threat to run for President?

John Tillman
Reply to  Ron Long
October 30, 2020 11:24 am

That would be a better gig than commenting on basketball for ESPN.

Mike D
Reply to  Steven Miller
October 30, 2020 3:48 pm

I feel very sorry for her; it’s clear she’s been groomed/schooled/indoctrinated mercilessly by her parents and others with the real agenda. In addition she’s almost certainly on the autism spectrum, and this really amounts to little more than child abuse.

Daryl M
Reply to  Steven Miller
October 30, 2020 10:17 pm

I was thinking the same thing. You could use many words to describe Greta, but “cute” should not be one of them.

ozspeaksup
Reply to  Daryl M
October 31, 2020 4:43 am

anorexic is my descriptor
see any pic(rare) where shes ot in a baggy jumper n see the clavicles etc showing too clearly
shes NOT over that or her other mental health issues by a long shot.

re her sheets
theyre NOT cotton theyre FLAX/calico, cos cottons got nasty slavelabour or hitech memes and most is GMO to boot.
and for the first 3 yrs or so theyre thick n scratchy untill scrubbed by hand on a washboard enough to soften them

Reply to  Steven Miller
October 31, 2020 6:18 pm

‘Brat’ is the word, headed to ‘goon.

Kenan Meyer
October 30, 2020 9:13 am

We need a whole novel of this!!!

commieBob
Reply to  Kenan Meyer
October 30, 2020 9:49 am

Quest for Fire maybe? It’s easy to romanticize life in bygone eras. The problem is that people really don’t think out the problems involved.

To illustrate the problems, we have this cartoon, the caption of which is:

Something’s just not right-our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organic and free- range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.

Reply to  Kenan Meyer
October 30, 2020 9:54 am
commieBob
Reply to  Krishna Gans
October 30, 2020 10:45 am

The problem is that the Flintstones depicts people living a comfortable 20th century lifestyle. They did everything that 1960s Americans did.

Most people can’t even imagine the toil and privation involved in living a primitive lifestyle.

Reply to  commieBob
October 30, 2020 11:35 am

I wasn’t aware to be obliged to add a /sarc tag 😀

commieBob
Reply to  Krishna Gans
October 30, 2020 12:22 pm

The /sarc tag doesn’t matter.

People are stunningly unaware of reality. It’s fashionable to blame that on Disney. Whatever. The fact still stands that people are stunningly unaware of reality. example

I would not trade places with any of my ancestors. We in the developed world live better than the kings and emperors of yore. If more people were aware of that, the eco-alarmists would have been ridden out of town on a plank a long time ago.

The more I learn, the more grateful I become.

Michael S. Kelly
Reply to  commieBob
October 31, 2020 9:20 am

A recent poll determined that the people of Riyadh don’t like “The Flintstones,” but the people of Abu Dhabi do.

gbaikie
October 30, 2020 9:17 am

Sweden still hunts whales, they can get oil that way.

beng135
Reply to  gbaikie
October 30, 2020 9:51 am

Or start squeezing cod livers….

Reply to  gbaikie
October 30, 2020 10:07 am

No, that’s Norway.

ghalfrunt
Reply to  gbaikie
October 30, 2020 10:18 am

sweden does not hunt whales

LdB
Reply to  ghalfrunt
October 30, 2020 6:42 pm

No but they speak with a funny accent, the mothers wear combat boots and their fathers smell of elderberries.

fred250
Reply to  LdB
October 31, 2020 2:36 am

They are great chefs, though

October 30, 2020 9:20 am

Let’s all go back to the past and have…another Tulip Mania….wait, we have a CO2 mania….but I don’t have a problem….Greta has the problem….no, really, I think Anti-griff could change Greta’s false view of CO2 in 5 minutes.

Peter
October 30, 2020 9:21 am

Sterling stuff. A bottle of wine for the Author!

Steve Case
October 30, 2020 9:21 am

Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

First chuckle of my day and a very good one at that (-:

d
October 30, 2020 9:21 am

Leave out the cotton sheet and wool blanket, too. Cotton requires millions of kilos of petroleum and coal to grow, weave, and distribute — which is why is was a luxury product until worked by slaves and sweatshops. Those sheep just fart too much, and if you don’t let anyone eat the meat or drink the milk, or dress in the hides, then they’re hardly worth keeping.
I think that using a fairly godmother character is probably something-phobic, too. I just can’t keep track.

Reply to  d
October 30, 2020 11:29 am

Ask the old Egyptians if the needed petroleum and coal

Steve Case
Reply to  Krishna Gans
October 30, 2020 11:58 am

Krishna Gans – 11:29 am
Ask the old Egyptians if the needed petroleum and coal

They didn’t need any stinking oil or coal because they had lots and lots and lots of slaves.

Moderately Cross of East Anglia
Reply to  Steve Case
October 30, 2020 12:58 pm

Sorry, no they didn’t. The Old Kingdom (when all the really big pyramids were built) and the Middle Kingdom had small numbers of slaves and certainly not enough for the deranged Hollywood scenes of whipped extras pushing foam blocks about.

The New Kingdom, when Egypt did have an extensive empire, is a different matter.
But apart from when the Nile floods failed periodically, life was probably about as good as you could expect without electricity, medicine, and SUVs. That is mostly short and disease ridden.

I expect the greens will want the out of work peasantry to build pyramids to bury new eco- saints Attenborough, Greta etc in when they eventually pop their
clogs.

Steve Case
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
October 30, 2020 5:53 pm

Moderately Cross of East Anglia … at 12:58 pm
Depends on your definition of SMALL numbers of slaves. Considering that Pharaoh didn’t move those stones for the “really big pyramids” by himself, I expect that the number of slaves needed to do it was substantial.

Hivemind
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
October 31, 2020 5:08 am

The pyramids weren’t built by slaves, but by farm workers in the months between harvesting and the next floods.

Bob Meyer
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
October 31, 2020 11:44 pm

Most of the workers weren’t slaves. They were attracted to the work then as they are now, with beer and hookers.

Paul of Alexandria
Reply to  d
October 30, 2020 5:32 pm

These are Democrats we’re talking about here. Why should slaves be a problem?

Pariah Dog
October 30, 2020 9:44 am

It isn’t a faithful rendition of Greta unless there’s at least one “How dare you!” and one “My childhood has been stolen!” declarations in the script…

October 30, 2020 9:51 am

Bill Gates never vaccinated his kids. What makes you think petroleum will not be used by the elite? Of course “petroleum” will need to be renamed. Don’t be silly, rules are for plebs.

philincalifornia
Reply to  Zoe Phin
October 30, 2020 10:17 am

Ha ha yeah, Lords and Ladies of the Manor and the peasants. Haven’t we tried that one before?

Ed Zuiderwijk
Reply to  Zoe Phin
October 30, 2020 10:24 am

You are dissimilation fake news.

Reply to  Ed Zuiderwijk
October 30, 2020 11:00 am

According to fake fact checkers? Have you ever questioned them?

John Tillman
Reply to  Zoe Phin
October 30, 2020 11:48 am

According to Bill, Melinda and the kids. The fake story never named the “family doctor” making the false claim. It was a lie on its face.

Not a fan of socialist monopolists, but am a fan of truthful reporting.

Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 1:08 pm

Sure, and according to the mafia, the mafia doesn’t commit any crime. See?

And who gave them the shots, genius?

Oh you don’t know? That’s convenient. I guess you don’t need that information. You just know!

John Tillman
Reply to  John Tillman
November 2, 2020 2:57 pm

Yes, I do know who gave them the shots, to include my cousin.

Reply to  Zoe Phin
October 31, 2020 6:24 pm

Huh?

Given that Bill Gates of Microsoft funds vaccination programs overseas I call ‘fact-check!’ on your claim.

Vuk
October 30, 2020 9:54 am

I think cotton sheets are out.

John Tillman
Reply to  Vuk
October 30, 2020 11:59 am

Cotton cloth was produced with human, animal, wind and water power in the late 20th and early 19th centuries, but those methods would make it a scarce and expensive commodity in a world with eight rather than one million people. Especially without slave labor. Egyptian cotton production conditions weren’t much better.

John Tillman
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 12:00 pm

Meant late 18th.

Vuk
Reply to  John Tillman
October 30, 2020 1:51 pm

Cotton was important component of British industrial revolution
“In 1779 a group of textile workers based in Manchester known as ‘Luddites’ rebelled by destroying and raiding the factories which were putting them out of business. The introduction of new machinery rivalled their handmade skills, forcing many into difficult situations. …
… in 1839 around 200,000 children were working in Manchester mills. The likes of Karl Marx sought to visit the area in order to observe the harsh conditions and poor provisions for workers, perhaps influencing his text ‘Das Capital’.”
https://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofBritain/Cotton-Industry/

John Tillman
Reply to  Vuk
October 31, 2020 12:23 pm

His coauthor Engels managed his family’s factories in England.

Vuk
Reply to  John Tillman
November 1, 2020 12:54 pm

True, the roots go back to the Immanuel Kant’s ‘Critique of Pure Reason’ and Hegel’s dialectical idealism, followed by both young Engels and Marks eventually giving rise the more radical dialectical materialism as embedded in their world changing ‘Communist Manifesto’, to be put into practice by Lenin and taken to the a blood-thirsty extremism by Stalin and Mao.

Ack
October 30, 2020 10:02 am

Plenty of children out there to dig up them minerals

retiredinky
October 30, 2020 10:09 am

I know this is satire but we need to be a lot more aggressive in getting the anti-climate change facts out to the general public. We can laugh and hee-haw amongst ourselves but the other side has a large publicity advantage with the general public. Just ask yourself where your elected representatives stand. I don’t know of any Republic mayor, State Rep, Governor, federal Senator, Representative and of course the President.

philincalifornia
October 30, 2020 10:10 am

To paraphrase Brad Keyes – “progressives make the Amish look like a visitation from the future”.

Luddites too.

Dan Murphy
October 30, 2020 10:12 am

How dare you!

Bruce Cobb
October 30, 2020 10:17 am

But aside from that, there is no news.

October 30, 2020 10:17 am

I remember to have read that story earlier here on WUWT.
I found it here in May 😀

Climate believer
October 30, 2020 10:19 am

Poor kid, funny article though.

ghalfrunt
October 30, 2020 10:26 am

Do you actually have any proof that Greta requires the total ban of petroleum products?
Really interested to see any genuine quotes from her saying that oil use should be banned

RockyRoad
Reply to  ghalfrunt
October 30, 2020 10:52 am

Do you have any statements from Greta where she supports oil production?

Yes. They’re scarce as hen’s teeth.

Bill Powers
Reply to  ghalfrunt
October 30, 2020 11:17 am

The one thing I have come to understand from my years of interacting with my liberal friends is that, like you, they have absolutely no sense of humor. Especially where it relates to their pet social control issues.

Life is so dark and grey on the streets where they live. If only they could learn to laugh they might choose to go enjoy their own life rather than constantly trying to control the lives of everybody around them.

philincalifornia
Reply to  Bill Powers
October 30, 2020 12:09 pm

They’re so incapable of doing anything meaningful, that’s the only way they can share their misery – making or attempting to make people as miserable as they are with future non-existent hobgoblins. Progressing stridently backwards through Ludditism, Medieval serfdom and beyond.

John Tillman
Reply to  ghalfrunt
October 30, 2020 11:27 am
fred250
Reply to  ghalfrunt
October 30, 2020 2:09 pm

Poor half-runt,

Has someone insulted your princess?

Oh Dearie me ! 🙂

Dan
Reply to  ghalfrunt
October 31, 2020 5:16 am

Greta Thunberg brands EU’s new climate law ‘surrender’.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-51736134

If you take that in the context of, the absolute zero report, it means ending Nealy all fossil fueled activities by 2025 as per the thunbergs

The absolute zero report published by the engineering department in the University of Cambridge gives the road map for the UK, and gives a good basis for many other countries (and activities).

Some key points to be achieved by 2050 ( using a baseline of 2020):
40% reduction in road use
Electric trains main mode for transport for people and freight
No flying
No shipping
40% reduction in heating
40% reduction in appliance energy use
40% reduction in food chain supply and cooking energy
No iron ore or limestone – all recycled

Many of their current activities would be impossible. But yet “you” have to stop. And remember that this 2050 target is too far away, so you must start stopping now!

I mean, how dare you!

Meanwhile the carbon footprint escalator keeps going up for the Thunbergs, as they publish a book of speeches that offer no insights to what they actually propose for solutions. This is on the back of another book with many of the same speeches and a “biography” of sorts.

Given that the carbon cost of the trip to and across America was approx 11 tonnes + 7 flights, this is hypocrisy at its finest.

Olen
October 30, 2020 11:04 am

People are listening to an uneducated teenager on the climate and a man on the take running for the presidency. Incoherent.

Billions would be made for a few and when the green deal runs out and pitchforks and torches come out we will be saved by a new investment in fossil fuels. Or maybe mystical power by mental suggestion.

Bill Powers
October 30, 2020 11:09 am

fast forward past the root canal to the episode where Greta gets a new brain from The Wizard

Abolition Man
Reply to  Bill Powers
October 30, 2020 12:19 pm

Here’s a conundrum; who needs a new brain more, St. Greta or AOC?
Much more interesting to contemplate than the old “CO2 molecules dancing on the head of pin” debate!
What’s really frightening is to think about how many followers these two geniuses have on social media, and how often they are quoted or cited by Fake News!
We are truly living in the Age of Propaganda, and we have until Tuesday to decide if human liberty and prosperity are to be allowed to continue!

Bill Powers
Reply to  Abolition Man
October 30, 2020 2:49 pm

Now that last bit is far scarier than “Man Made Global Warm…Aahhh we really always meant Climate Change all along.” We are a coat of paint away from Khrushchev’s prediction that Communism would defeat us from within.

Sara
October 30, 2020 12:01 pm

Oh, quit picking on the kid. She’s not the cute little pixie any more, the one that ditched school and went off on her own. She’s losing her importance in this mess and has nothing to offer in the way of real solutions, and we all know it. Her parents have exploited her for whatever they could get. It’s disgusting.

Pat from kerbob
Reply to  Sara
October 30, 2020 4:42 pm

She is an abused child are the people around her should face some sort of charges.
If I were them I’d be worried about her waking up one day and finally figuring out just who it was that stole her childhood.

Going to be an ugly scene I think.

Just Jenn
Reply to  Sara
October 31, 2020 5:56 am

On the exploitation: Oh yea! And not just her parents.

So the sailboat she was on to cross the Atlantic was a boat on YouTube: SV Vagabond who have hit it big in the YT world of sailing. They are ALL about exploitation of the channel: increasing views and subscribers with thumbnail clickbait and little in the way of actual content. I had no idea that was the boat until a commenter and former subscriber mentioned it. Apparently (I am not giving them a view so I didn’t go look) they had an entire series on crossing with Greta and it skyrocketed their channel.

So Greta, exploited by her parents, gets exploited for views on a sailing channel for no other reason than money.

Julian Flood
October 30, 2020 12:04 pm

An image I could have done without.

JF

Tom in Florida
Reply to  Julian Flood
October 31, 2020 5:06 am

I am thinking Redrum, Redrum, Redrum.

Rob_Dawg
October 30, 2020 12:22 pm

I love it all except that we won’t be short of lubricants. We can use whale oil, a renewable, all natural resource.

William Haas
Reply to  Rob_Dawg
October 30, 2020 1:33 pm

Now a days, most whale hunting and production of whale oil involves the use of fossil fuels in one way or another. The old Boston Whaling sailing ships are no longer in use.

High Treason
October 30, 2020 1:05 pm

As a dentist, I would love to see how Greta goes with her root canal sans oil and fossil fuelled technology.
No metal for the drills to gain access to that painful nerve-have to craft obsidian cutting instruments and crude string and bow arrangement as a primitive drill. Slow, painful. The anaestheic is oil based-will just have to either white (politically incorrect racist comment) knuckle it or get hammered on the local brew. She is not 18 yet, so the alcohol solution with wine or meade fermented in oak barrels or clay pots will have to do.
Xrays-even if the machine ran on renewable energy, it needs metal wire to make the transformers to get the 50,000 volts or more to slam electrons in to the metal target to get the xrays. Doing the root canal without xrays will be very hit and miss.
Cleaning out the infected root canal. Metal instruments are used. Fancy nickel-titanium alloys usually. Try making the instruments without metals. Root canals frequently have some slight curve to them. There goes the expertly crafted obsidian root canal instrument idea. I suspect a piece of acacia wood will have to do for the root filling.
Then there is the restoration on top. Plastic-oh no. Amalgam (banned in Sweden anyway, but metal based, not that there are many requests for black fillings in white teeth-strange that.) Cast gold- could be done with plaster moulds and fire (with bellows) to melt the gold alloy. Porcelain over the gold alloy-needs very specific temperatures, which would be extremely difficult in a clay kiln with bellows driven fire. Then the crown has to be cemented. Have to go back to the old zinc phosphate.
All these fruits of fossil fuel driven technology would have to go- Greta would revert to Neolithic conditions. A very tough, short and brutal life. Greta would be a mother and nearly a grandmother by 18 .
On a happier note, Greta turns 18 in just over 2 months time, so she loses her status as the Child High Priestess of the Climate Cult of Doom and Gloom. Her fibs and tantrums will no longer be acceptable.

ozspeaksup
Reply to  High Treason
October 31, 2020 5:02 am

root canals are for the rich anyway
tooth will simply be pulled out

Tom in Florida
Reply to  ozspeaksup
October 31, 2020 5:49 am

And replaced with a wooden tooth.

bluecat57
October 30, 2020 1:15 pm

We’ve been without power for 33 hrs. We’re going nuts. Screw you Greta.

GoatGuy
October 30, 2020 1:17 pm

Just as a Engineering FYI…

Before petroleum-based polymers, there were hundreds of types of insulation for wires that were durable, renewable and plant based. I still have a spool of interconnect wire from the 1920s, having a woven cotton fabric insulation, very finely done, which was dipped or coated with an impermeable glaze of shellac (acadia tree) and boiled linseed oil (flax polymer). Insulated to a 400 volt rating. After what, 90 years .. its still totally flexible, doesn’t crack on flexure. Moreover, the wire inside was apparently tin-plated copper, so when one strips back the insulation, it is still bright and shiny silver. Rather remarkable stuff for run-of-the-mill pre-polymer wire.

Likewise, back in the ‘dark ages’, one had many a twist faucet, many a bushing made from a combination of asbestos, asphalteum, and ‘oakum’, the pulverized threads of used and worn out hemp rope, themselves soaked in linseed oil, tar and beeswax.

These materials were rolled into sheets, and the ‘washers’ for faucets just punched out of them. Lasted for decades.

Along the same lines, apart from the near impossibility of having a metals industry that is totally free from at least coal input (coal → coke … + limestone + ore → pig iron) … and a similar process for copper, apart from these, yes, one really can do the same thing actually surprisingly efficiently with plasma, hydrogen and a modest vacuum smelting system.

However not to follow this too far, there is a LOT we get from petroleum in particular, but also from coal, which are hard-to-impossible-to-replace raw materials which are feedstock to the whole petrochemical industry. Coal tar (from coal→coke making) has a whole slew of quite common, but remarkably rare without coal … feedstock chemicals like aniline, benzene, toluene, pyridine, anthrocene, a whole host of ‘mineral waxes’, a bunch of especially stinky but very useful organic compounds. While a whole lot of these end up in plastics, a whole lot more end up in pigments-for-clothing-and-paint, into drugs, into packaging materials, and into cosmetics.

________________________________________

I once spent a whole summer up in the high alpine Rockies, in a hand-hewn log cabin, without running water, electricity, communications or obviously, refrigeration and tanked hot water. At first it was fun. Then it became quite tedious, especially as clothing became quite soiled, needing laundry. Moreover, the inherited firewood supply was exhausted rapidly. No gasoline, no chainsaws, no gas hydraulic splitters. Just a 2-man broad-saw, a bunch of axes and wedges and a huge forest of downed ‘dead’ treas. Since we were ‘deposited’ there without transportation (in a dire emergency we could walk to a neighbor’s and bûm a ride), there were only walking trips to the local store. Which had almost nothing from ‘the big city’. Apples, cherries for awhile, lots of flour, lard, salt, and even a barrel of crackers. Fishing lures! I can’t imagine fishing without monofilament line. Oh well … apparently ‘they’ did, before 1940. Silk I think was used.

So, we made do. Learned to make biscuits; learned to make most everything. Learned what plants were edible, which would make you sick. Learned how best to efficiently fish in minutes instead of hours. Learned to efficiently make firewood, to efficiently divert the icy stream to splash around the clever ‘ice box’ to keep it quite cold. Learned what plants had bark that’d act as detergents, and how to make soap from fire-pit ashes and buckets and water and lard.

I would NOT do it again. Way too hard, and I’m now way too old. But it sure was a learning experience.

The last part of the vignette is this: the 3 months of hardship … in boreal Summer … taught this spoiled, somewhat entitled, definitely idealist 14 year old a whole lot about “the real world”. I never again pushed my mother’s cooking away, nor complained about having to “do my own laundry”. Never. Nor did I complain again about taking out the trash, or helping unload The Car, or to clean out our family home’s fireplace. By comparison to that Summer, it was a luxury. And for years to come, I could only dream of how the simple Summer hardship would scale and compound into a life-threatening mode come Winter. When everything would be gone, including the grouchy store owner. Might not make it to Summer following, that.

GoatGuy

Pat from kerbob
Reply to  GoatGuy
October 30, 2020 4:47 pm

I didn’t do a summer but I did a two week canoe/portage trip in northern Saskatchewan.
Went in with a romantic notion and at the end was glad as he!! for getting back out alive.
I can count three for sure times I almost but the farm.

Those old timey “voyageurs” of the fur trade must have been made of iron.

I’m quite happy with the modern world thanks

Reply to  Pat from kerbob
October 31, 2020 6:32 pm

I grew up without electricity, poor.

No thanks.

(And my parents were smarter than average on food and hygiene and living, though somehow not as smart on income – substistence farming until my mother could return to teaching during the week, 30 miles or more from home.

Abolition Man
Reply to  GoatGuy
October 31, 2020 7:41 am

Goat Guy,
Too much of a good thing! As a kid I spent one or two weeks every summer at a pack station in the High Sierra Wilderness that originally had similar conditions. Fortunately, the owners were not averse to modern life and so packed in luxuries like bottled propane to run stoves, fridges and freezers to keep meats, fruits and veggies. It was an ideal base camp for backpacking trips into the higher peaks with their glacial and paternoster lakes stocked with different varieties of trout by some visionaries decades earlier!
The original shower was a fifty-five gallon drum placed high in a tree, filled by a hand pump with water from the nearby stream and heated by plumbing it through an old wood stove. Taking a shower then meant lighting a fire in the stove, pumping water in the barrel until it overflowed and then rushing to get clean before you ran out of water; an incredible luxury after a week long pack trip!
St. Greta probably wouldn’t make it through a summer there and she wants Scandinavians to suffer through winters without fossil fuels! How dare you!

William Haas
October 30, 2020 1:28 pm

Where did the cotton come from? No imported materials that are transported by fossil fuel burning vehicles. That includes materials to build buildings, roads, and hydro-electric products. The wool was most likely involved the use of metal cutting devices and the production of the metal most likely involved the use of fossil fuels. Without products that have involved the use of fossil fuels she would die quite rapidly from exposure this time of year. There are very few people on Earth who have not been corrupted somehow by products that have involved the use of fossil fuels. All of the equipment in use for the generation of energy via wind, solar , or hydro have involved the use of fossil fuels. Totally fossil fuel free technologies of more than 200 years ago cannot support our current human population. So turning back the technological clock would mean that billions would perish.

Bruce C.
October 30, 2020 2:48 pm

Mr. “Science Guy,” Bill Nye is of the “Nye Oil” family. Made a fortune in New Bedford, MA manufacturing lubricants from Sperm Whales. Rather like the Rockefellers and petroleum.

October 30, 2020 3:05 pm

Greta Thunderbird looks very dissatisfied with her perfect petroleum free World. However who needs petroleum when you have slaves available.

fred250
Reply to  nicholas tesdorf
October 30, 2020 5:47 pm

“Greta Thunderbird looks very dissatisfied ”

GT ALWAYS looks dissatisfied.

It is her very nature. It is who she IS and will always be.

D Johnson
October 30, 2020 6:38 pm

I understand this is a parody of Greta, the sad thing is in a sane world the real Greta would be parody enough.

Jacques Lemiere
October 30, 2020 9:59 pm

well…before oil and coal..mortality rate for children was a quater to a third..something like that…
so without oil or coal there would not have been a greta…

we ALL are the children of coal and oil..ungraceful children..

Flight Level
October 31, 2020 2:09 am

Outstanding.

If only green zealots were educated enough to understand that things have to be made before they can order them via plastic money.

Michael Ozanne
October 31, 2020 3:25 am

This would make a great short film…

like this one..

https://youtu.be/FjBAGZZxbs8

Photios
Reply to  Michael Ozanne
October 31, 2020 5:24 pm

Thanks for that. 🙂

Coeur de Lion
October 31, 2020 11:32 am

She wakes under an uncured animal skin fur side down. No looms.

ScienceABC123
November 1, 2020 5:32 am

Ah the law unintended consequences. You just gotta love it!

GlenAustralia
November 1, 2020 5:29 pm

Someone: “Send it to AOC”

Others: “She wouldn’t understand it”

Me: “AOC might understand it if someone does a version where somebody is trying to bartend in a bar in a petroleum-free-world.”

Maybe???

November 4, 2020 6:25 am

Petro Free World is like the Zinc Oxide sketch:

https://youtu.be/yo5g2LLxKHg

Spurwing Plover
November 6, 2020 8:09 am

She sounds as delusional as the rest of the Go Green crowd of loose nuts this girl needs a better education then what she gets from Government Run Schools

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