One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one in which there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.
“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.
“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.
Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fiber bristles.
“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”
“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.
“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”
“Why’s there no running water?” Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.
“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT, “Where do we begin?” There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .
“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.
“Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”
“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.
“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs. Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.
“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.
I’d like to take credit for this, but I didn’t write it:
“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”
“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”
“Not anymore,” explained godmother “The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based. Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not an easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing – being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”
This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fiber boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet.
Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.
— I Am Not the Author of This
h/t to Richard Courtney on Facebook
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This is superb! Send copies to Mr Biden and the AOC mob, please.
yes, brilliant.
Love it.
Why? They want power and nothing else.
While we’re arguing about the flaws in the Green New Deal, they’ll subvert the political system to remain in power forever, hence their true objective is accomplished.
They couldn’t care less about the trivia.
THEY might have power…..we, the poor old deplorables, won’t….
They are puppets and nothing else. The question should be : Who has the power and can print all it needs to corrupt the system ? Both parties are just the right and the left wing of the same bird of prey.
Maybe Greta wants to go back to whale oil for lubrication?
An image I could have done without.
JF
It wasn’t until the late 1970’s that animal fats stopped being used to lubricate the machines in factories. At the steel mill I worked at in the late 1980’s, there were many areas you tended to avoid during the hot summer months. Those animal fats would rise up from the wooden block flooring just as rancid as you couldn’t imagine. California, no less.
Living in Indiana in the 50s, my mom would save the bacon fat in a quart-size metal container. This was solely because one of our favorite pastimes in the summer was to play in the melted tar on the roads with our perpetually bare feet. The bacon fat would dissolve the asphalt tar.
My grandmother described breaking my mother of the habit of chewing tar as ‘gum’. There was a jar of wheat in the barn that we were to chew until the starch converted to sugar.
No prob. We’ll use Vegan lubricants no?
Vegans don’t make very good lubricants – not very much fat in them, anyway.
It IS a VERY good lubricant…
The replacement for whale oil is Jojoba oil. When they first started looking at it there was a scam to invest in a press to extract the oil. Because whale oil was becoming very scarce, many people invested only to discover they had fallen for a scam.
Those people are willfully blind to facts, basic science or even basic math. Their minds are closed. Reality does not matter.
For them, “facts” are based upon ideology, not the physical world. They have an obvious mental defect in this regard. (Ok, lots of mental defects)
If the mental health community were actually concerned about helping people, they would create DSM codes for leftism, Marxism and TDS.
Yes, STEM is doomed.
It is a good time to be old, soon a good day to die. Imagine the cultural changes that the old aborigines saw to cause them to make those statements.
ROFL, thankyou.
Dudley said “…Send copies to Mr Biden and the AOC mob, please.”
Fools errand.
They would not understand, Dudley. Fact has no place in their dogma.
Indeed, their method of knowledge is emotions.
When they are not winning a ‘debate’ they just double down on that methods, so get angry.
A big question is why they are so negative about humans that they are blind to what is obvious around them – people planting and nurturing, people creating, people collaborating.
I am sorry, I must complain. It is the production of CO2 that ThingBird is opposed to; CO2, AKA the natural result of the combustion process. So, she cannot ever use FIRE to cook her eggs. No Cooking. In fact, these idiots really do want an end to combustion, which puts them back into the time before our brains developed to their current sizes – except for followeres of GretaThing, who have remained as smallbrained as ever.
When you exhale, what is the natural byproduct of your breathing process?
If you could just hold your breath…
If you could just hold your breath…
If you could just hold your breath…
…
I can hold my breath for a very long time
Creepshow Leslie Nielsen 1982
“Now– for a breath I tarry
Nor yet disperse apart–
Take my hand quick and tell me,
What have you in your heart?”
“I see the Evil Carbon
Saying mean things in the air
Now let’s all go build windmills
That work about once a year”
At least Sweden has lots of trees!
But whether enough to sustain its current population, dubious.
Greta needs to get to work digging a well, then lining it with mortar and rocks. And making wooden buckets. With stone tools, unless she can get a wood- or dung-fired furnace going.
There’s a famous 1971 Swedish film, “The Emigrants.” Perhaps Greta should watch it to see what life was like in near-medieval 19th Century Sweden.
Starving children, leading Max von Sydow to MN, where he measures top soil in amazement.
I prefer Scandinavian police procedure genre shows. Recently a case involved a serial killer that stashed his corpses in rural wells. There were an astonishing number of dug wells(!) and with incredible craftsmanship in the linings.
“At least Sweden has lots of trees!” Do away with petroleum products and Sweden will look like Haiti in 10 or 12 years.
Cold Haiti!
Indeed, there’s a society based heavily on mysticism and superstition, a voodoo worshiping society.
In contrast, next door in the other part of the island is the green Dominican Republic.
Haiti was getting so bad that needy charities there told some Canadians not to come on their every-two-years trip to help, because it was too dangerous for whiteys – thugs would assume they are rich and attack them.
How darest thou!
Living in the dark ages with the Green overlords taking care of of all our needs would so wonderful.
I’m happy, happy happy, (or I will be imprisoned and “taught” goodthink).
Regarding that lead-in picture of Greta: maybe it’s just me, but I’d say it’s about time to call in an exorcist.
Or is it the Halloween season? Just saying . . .
The season of the witch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU35oCHGhJ0
ht/ Dovovan
She has been around for a while, here seen in Yukon Territory in Canada during the Klondike Gold Rush
https://i.insider.com/5dd6766079d7573cde1850f4?width=700&format=jpeg
She looks less angry during the Klondike Gold Rush.
Well spotted picture.
That looks like child labor! How dare they!
Gordon, goof on the Doom Pixie at your own peril. h/t Delingpole.
Not to worry . . . I can handle all the (global, CO2-caused) heat that she can dish out.
Speaking of exorcisms:
https://www.marinij.com/2020/10/17/archbishop-performs-exorcism-for-san-rafael-statue/
As for the root canal, she can stick a clove in her molar which was transported to Sweden by a sailing ship from Zanzibar.
What was her molar doing in Zanzibar?
+42!
The wunderfull New Green World 😀
What wonder… 😀
“One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one in which there were no petroleum products ruining the earth.”
Cute is not one of the adjectives that I would use to describe Greta. She reminds me more of out of control children throwing temper tantrums inside of grocery stores after their parent has refused to buy them something.
On 24 August, Greta returned to school after her gap year and pandemic interruption. This is good, since she turns 18 in January 2021.
But of what use school, since she already knows that the science is settled?
She may chose to become a fulltime activist rather than pursue studies at a university, as the LeBron James of activism.
Is LeBron James the kid that got drafted into the NBA out of high school?
Yes.
Now generally considered the second GOAT. Some rate him above Michael Jordan, but not I, who remember his performance against the Blazers.
I haven’t watched NBA since the Jordan/Barkely showdown in the 90’s…the modern game has way too much traveling, double-dribbling, charging, fouling, etc…
@Wharfplank, I can’t remember the last time I watched a basketball game. I got tired of the attitudes a couple of decades ago.
GOAT= Greatest of All Time?? Whatever, it’s a game, who cares. Definition 2, below, is probably more appropriate.
goat
noun gōt
plural goats
Definition of goat
1. a. or plural goat: any of various hollow-horned ruminant mammals (especially of the genus Capra) related to the sheep but of lighter build and with backwardly arching horns, a short tail, and usually straight hair
especially: one (Capra hircus) long domesticated for its milk, wool, and flesh
b. capitalized : CAPRICORN
2: a licentious man : LECHER
3: SCAPEGOAT sense 2
Wharfplank says:
I haven’t watched NBA since the Jordan/Barkely showdown in the 90’s…
I haven’t watched the NBA since the Chicago Bulls vs Detroit Pistons match-ups.
Of course, Mr. James is now himself also a part-time activist, nearing the end of his wildly successful first professional career.
What year will Lebron make his first run for president?
Could do so in 2024 if he wanted. He’d be among good company:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_presidents_of_the_United_States_by_education#Did_not_graduate_from_college
Truman was the last president without a college degree. The first was Washington.
I can hardly see any correlation between the education and how good the president was. The best educated (Wilson, Carter, Bush, Obama) were actually the worst.
There isn’t much correlation, although some of the best were also well-educated.
Hoover was the only one with a scientific degree, ie geology from Stanford.
John, I’m not sure what Lebron James will do next, but today Dr. Ben Carson is quoted as saying “I wouldn’t want Lebron to be doing neurosurgery”. Maybe he will complete his threat to run for President?
That would be a better gig than commenting on basketball for ESPN.
I feel very sorry for her; it’s clear she’s been groomed/schooled/indoctrinated mercilessly by her parents and others with the real agenda. In addition she’s almost certainly on the autism spectrum, and this really amounts to little more than child abuse.
I was thinking the same thing. You could use many words to describe Greta, but “cute” should not be one of them.
anorexic is my descriptor
see any pic(rare) where shes ot in a baggy jumper n see the clavicles etc showing too clearly
shes NOT over that or her other mental health issues by a long shot.
re her sheets
theyre NOT cotton theyre FLAX/calico, cos cottons got nasty slavelabour or hitech memes and most is GMO to boot.
and for the first 3 yrs or so theyre thick n scratchy untill scrubbed by hand on a washboard enough to soften them
‘Brat’ is the word, headed to ‘goon.
We need a whole novel of this!!!
Quest for Fire maybe? It’s easy to romanticize life in bygone eras. The problem is that people really don’t think out the problems involved.
To illustrate the problems, we have this cartoon, the caption of which is:
Voilà
The problem is that the Flintstones depicts people living a comfortable 20th century lifestyle. They did everything that 1960s Americans did.
Most people can’t even imagine the toil and privation involved in living a primitive lifestyle.
I wasn’t aware to be obliged to add a /sarc tag 😀
The /sarc tag doesn’t matter.
People are stunningly unaware of reality. It’s fashionable to blame that on Disney. Whatever. The fact still stands that people are stunningly unaware of reality. example
I would not trade places with any of my ancestors. We in the developed world live better than the kings and emperors of yore. If more people were aware of that, the eco-alarmists would have been ridden out of town on a plank a long time ago.
The more I learn, the more grateful I become.
A recent poll determined that the people of Riyadh don’t like “The Flintstones,” but the people of Abu Dhabi do.
Sweden still hunts whales, they can get oil that way.
Or start squeezing cod livers….
No, that’s Norway.
sweden does not hunt whales
No but they speak with a funny accent, the mothers wear combat boots and their fathers smell of elderberries.
They are great chefs, though
Let’s all go back to the past and have…another Tulip Mania….wait, we have a CO2 mania….but I don’t have a problem….Greta has the problem….no, really, I think Anti-griff could change Greta’s false view of CO2 in 5 minutes.
Sterling stuff. A bottle of wine for the Author!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
First chuckle of my day and a very good one at that (-:
Leave out the cotton sheet and wool blanket, too. Cotton requires millions of kilos of petroleum and coal to grow, weave, and distribute — which is why is was a luxury product until worked by slaves and sweatshops. Those sheep just fart too much, and if you don’t let anyone eat the meat or drink the milk, or dress in the hides, then they’re hardly worth keeping.
I think that using a fairly godmother character is probably something-phobic, too. I just can’t keep track.
Ask the old Egyptians if the needed petroleum and coal
Krishna Gans – 11:29 am
Ask the old Egyptians if the needed petroleum and coal
They didn’t need any stinking oil or coal because they had lots and lots and lots of slaves.
Sorry, no they didn’t. The Old Kingdom (when all the really big pyramids were built) and the Middle Kingdom had small numbers of slaves and certainly not enough for the deranged Hollywood scenes of whipped extras pushing foam blocks about.
The New Kingdom, when Egypt did have an extensive empire, is a different matter.
But apart from when the Nile floods failed periodically, life was probably about as good as you could expect without electricity, medicine, and SUVs. That is mostly short and disease ridden.
I expect the greens will want the out of work peasantry to build pyramids to bury new eco- saints Attenborough, Greta etc in when they eventually pop their
clogs.
Moderately Cross of East Anglia … at 12:58 pm
Depends on your definition of SMALL numbers of slaves. Considering that Pharaoh didn’t move those stones for the “really big pyramids” by himself, I expect that the number of slaves needed to do it was substantial.
The pyramids weren’t built by slaves, but by farm workers in the months between harvesting and the next floods.
Most of the workers weren’t slaves. They were attracted to the work then as they are now, with beer and hookers.
These are Democrats we’re talking about here. Why should slaves be a problem?
It isn’t a faithful rendition of Greta unless there’s at least one “How dare you!” and one “My childhood has been stolen!” declarations in the script…
Bill Gates never vaccinated his kids. What makes you think petroleum will not be used by the elite? Of course “petroleum” will need to be renamed. Don’t be silly, rules are for plebs.
Ha ha yeah, Lords and Ladies of the Manor and the peasants. Haven’t we tried that one before?
You are dissimilation fake news.
According to fake fact checkers? Have you ever questioned them?
According to Bill, Melinda and the kids. The fake story never named the “family doctor” making the false claim. It was a lie on its face.
Not a fan of socialist monopolists, but am a fan of truthful reporting.
Sure, and according to the mafia, the mafia doesn’t commit any crime. See?
And who gave them the shots, genius?
Oh you don’t know? That’s convenient. I guess you don’t need that information. You just know!
Yes, I do know who gave them the shots, to include my cousin.
Huh?
Given that Bill Gates of Microsoft funds vaccination programs overseas I call ‘fact-check!’ on your claim.
I think cotton sheets are out.
Cotton cloth was produced with human, animal, wind and water power in the late 20th and early 19th centuries, but those methods would make it a scarce and expensive commodity in a world with eight rather than one million people. Especially without slave labor. Egyptian cotton production conditions weren’t much better.
Meant late 18th.
Cotton was important component of British industrial revolution
“In 1779 a group of textile workers based in Manchester known as ‘Luddites’ rebelled by destroying and raiding the factories which were putting them out of business. The introduction of new machinery rivalled their handmade skills, forcing many into difficult situations. …
… in 1839 around 200,000 children were working in Manchester mills. The likes of Karl Marx sought to visit the area in order to observe the harsh conditions and poor provisions for workers, perhaps influencing his text ‘Das Capital’.”
https://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofBritain/Cotton-Industry/
His coauthor Engels managed his family’s factories in England.
True, the roots go back to the Immanuel Kant’s ‘Critique of Pure Reason’ and Hegel’s dialectical idealism, followed by both young Engels and Marks eventually giving rise the more radical dialectical materialism as embedded in their world changing ‘Communist Manifesto’, to be put into practice by Lenin and taken to the a blood-thirsty extremism by Stalin and Mao.
Plenty of children out there to dig up them minerals
I know this is satire but we need to be a lot more aggressive in getting the anti-climate change facts out to the general public. We can laugh and hee-haw amongst ourselves but the other side has a large publicity advantage with the general public. Just ask yourself where your elected representatives stand. I don’t know of any Republic mayor, State Rep, Governor, federal Senator, Representative and of course the President.
To paraphrase Brad Keyes – “progressives make the Amish look like a visitation from the future”.
Luddites too.
How dare you!
But aside from that, there is no news.
I remember to have read that story earlier here on WUWT.
I found it here in May 😀
Poor kid, funny article though.
Do you actually have any proof that Greta requires the total ban of petroleum products?
Really interested to see any genuine quotes from her saying that oil use should be banned
Do you have any statements from Greta where she supports oil production?
Yes. They’re scarce as hen’s teeth.
The one thing I have come to understand from my years of interacting with my liberal friends is that, like you, they have absolutely no sense of humor. Especially where it relates to their pet social control issues.
Life is so dark and grey on the streets where they live. If only they could learn to laugh they might choose to go enjoy their own life rather than constantly trying to control the lives of everybody around them.
They’re so incapable of doing anything meaningful, that’s the only way they can share their misery – making or attempting to make people as miserable as they are with future non-existent hobgoblins. Progressing stridently backwards through Ludditism, Medieval serfdom and beyond.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/51191940#:~:text=Greta%20Thunberg%20has%20called%20on,going%20to%20save%20the%20world.%22
“Our emissions need to stop if we are going to save the world.”
Poor half-runt,
Has someone insulted your princess?
Oh Dearie me ! 🙂
Greta Thunberg brands EU’s new climate law ‘surrender’.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-51736134
If you take that in the context of, the absolute zero report, it means ending Nealy all fossil fueled activities by 2025 as per the thunbergs
The absolute zero report published by the engineering department in the University of Cambridge gives the road map for the UK, and gives a good basis for many other countries (and activities).
Some key points to be achieved by 2050 ( using a baseline of 2020):
40% reduction in road use
Electric trains main mode for transport for people and freight
No flying
No shipping
40% reduction in heating
40% reduction in appliance energy use
40% reduction in food chain supply and cooking energy
No iron ore or limestone – all recycled
Many of their current activities would be impossible. But yet “you” have to stop. And remember that this 2050 target is too far away, so you must start stopping now!
I mean, how dare you!
Meanwhile the carbon footprint escalator keeps going up for the Thunbergs, as they publish a book of speeches that offer no insights to what they actually propose for solutions. This is on the back of another book with many of the same speeches and a “biography” of sorts.
Given that the carbon cost of the trip to and across America was approx 11 tonnes + 7 flights, this is hypocrisy at its finest.
People are listening to an uneducated teenager on the climate and a man on the take running for the presidency. Incoherent.
Billions would be made for a few and when the green deal runs out and pitchforks and torches come out we will be saved by a new investment in fossil fuels. Or maybe mystical power by mental suggestion.