Reposted with permission from the Babylon Bee
August 30th, 2019
U.S.—Millions of Americans have repented of their sinful ways and turned to Jesus after hearing that Democrats are going to be on CNN for seven whole hours talking about climate change next week.
Whole cities, towns, and states accepted Christ as their savior as they saw God’s judgment coming on the nation in the form of Democrats going on and on about climate change for hours.
“Please Lord—do not leave Your people to suffer,” one man prayed, prostrate on the ground, sweating blood from his despair. “Why have you forsaken us? ‘Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression?‘”
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done,” cried one Seattle woman, who was an atheist until she heard about the town hall and repented of her sins. “I have strayed far from you, Lord, but I now commit my life to you if you’ll just promise to return before Wednesday.”
“We know, O Lord, that you can save us from having to hear rich white guys with multiple homes lecture us on conserving energy,” said a man named Daniel in Iowa. “But even if You do not, you are still Lord.”
“But seriously, please, save us.”
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This Friday Funny feature is courtesy of the Babylon Bee
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you might enjy my friend
What a success story!
Funny how humour that plays off ones sincerely held belief system can be both offensive and fairly creative at the same time. But then, we evangelical believers certainly take ourselves too seriously, and so deserve to be mocked, when it is actually the values and ethics that we should be seriously living.
Hey listen up our American cousins. You think 7 hours on climate change is a challenge!! Here in old Blighty we have just endured 77 hours of non stop BBC coverage of Parliament being closed three whole extra days this year. That is three days over and above what usually happens every year at this time. It might also be worth pointing out, Parliament is still on its summer hols which are always six weeks followed by four weeks of talking at Party conferences.
You are still in the foot hills of televised boredom over there, jeez 7 hours, we have to endure that before breakfast over here its called the Today program….
Rod Evans
Doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible “For the sins of thine fathers, I shall visit Brexit upon thee, and verily, following 3 full years of 24/7/365 news coverage, the golden one, Boris, shall collude with the Orange one, with the spectre of Russia and Huwawei ever present. And it shall come to pass, ye shall ‘crash out’ thine divine Union with the anointed nation of Europe, without a deal, on the 31st”.
Amen.
HotScot,
And it shall come to pass, ye shall ‘crash out’ thine divine Union with the anointed nation of Europe, without a deal, on the 31st”. –>
And it shall come to pass, ye shall ‘crash out’ thine divine Union with the anointed states of Europe, without a deal, on the 31st”.
Have mercy on us of the anointed states of EU – we have St. Ursula, and St. Greta and none other than Pope Francis saving us all day long!
But never fear, the Vatican Synod of Bishops is about to save the America’s – their Synod of Bishops for the Pan-Amazon, in October.
Rod
You are being far too kind to the BBC which is now the world’s Climate Change Porn Channel, even though it is supposed to be providing balanced broadcasting. This is an organisation that is publicly funded but bans a former Chancellor of the Exchequer because he dares disagree with the waste of money and resources on the alleged climate crisis.
Next to climate pornography the BBC is big on campaigning against Brexit and President Trump, who has been subjected to the most absurd near daily contrived and dubious negative stories. There have, of course,been no matching stories, for example, of the misdeeds of the Clintons or any other right-on approved person or organisation. Well why would the BBC care about truth or balance anymore.
He sooner the BBC is defunded and has to earn it’s grossly inflated salaries the better. The occasional success with some dramatisation of a long dead 19th Century author doesn’t cut it anymore
And remember, your gift of money will insure that your prayers are elevated to the highest level so that God hears them first!
In the case of prayers for relief of the scourge of CAGW, your tax dollars will be of most benefit to insuring a straight line to God. Double your prayer gift right now for twice as much blessings! Just pay the additional fee for shipping and handling.
For those who haven’t seen this, and for those who have, this I believe was way back in the early 90’s….
George Carlin, saving the planet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W33HRc1A6c
JPP
gotta love the bee 🙂
Meanwhile in Bear country…
https://www.outsideonline.com/2401248/does-bear-spray-work
Who cares what they show on CNN?
Whatever it is, it is a waste of time!
Now this is the sort of argument I use to try and shut down climate nutters when they try to get me invested in the scam. I tell them straight that God said Himself in the Bible that the Earth would never be destroyed by flooding ever again. Now pay attention to that statement, He said specifically, never to be destroyed by flooding again. The so-called rising sea levels is a form of destroying the Earth by flooding, which goes against what the Lord said Himself. If any of these green (Gosh , I’m growing to detest that word) fools had any sort of knowledge of the Bible, they would know that rising sea levels is utter crap. But let them be, they live by the sword, they shall die by the sword. God will have His wrath on those who seek such sinister ways. Have faith my friends.
Oh Lord , Won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz , my friends all drive Porches’s I must make amends .
The Pope flies Airbus and Dicaprio on models so Oh Lord won’t you buy me a new Lear jet .
Has there ever been a “news ” network so determined to find out what their rock bottom base is ?
The chimps that run CNN can’t read the room but their advertisers and fleeting audience sure can .
There has to be a pot of gold for someone to completely tank the business the way they are .
Good riddance .