Nation Begs Jesus To Return Before Democrats’ 7-Hour Town Hall On Climate Change August 30th, 2019

Reposted with permission from the Babylon Bee

August 30th, 2019

article-4741-1

U.S.—Millions of Americans have repented of their sinful ways and turned to Jesus after hearing that Democrats are going to be on CNN for seven whole hours talking about climate change next week.

Whole cities, towns, and states accepted Christ as their savior as they saw God’s judgment coming on the nation in the form of Democrats going on and on about climate change for hours.

“Please Lord—do not leave Your people to suffer,” one man prayed, prostrate on the ground, sweating blood from his despair. “Why have you forsaken us? ‘Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression?‘”

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done,” cried one Seattle woman, who was an atheist until she heard about the town hall and repented of her sins. “I have strayed far from you, Lord, but I now commit my life to you if you’ll just promise to return before Wednesday.”

“We know, O Lord, that you can save us from having to hear rich white guys with multiple homes lecture us on conserving energy,” said a man named Daniel in Iowa. “But even if You do not, you are still Lord.”

“But seriously, please, save us.”

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This Friday Funny feature is courtesy of the Babylon Bee

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111 thoughts on “Nation Begs Jesus To Return Before Democrats’ 7-Hour Town Hall On Climate Change August 30th, 2019

  1. ***ALARMIST EDUCATORS PRESSURE CHILDREN INTO FEAR & DEPRESSION
    The news media promote and highlight climate protests by kids whom most societies have deemed too young, too undeveloped and immature, to enter into contracts, decide whether they should get tattoos or undertake major surgery, get married, smoke, drive, vote, drink alcohol, see an R-rated movie, legally purchase firearms, live on their own, or be held accountable as adults for most crimes. But we are supposed to take their misinformed fears of climate disaster seriously, fears instilled in them by years of abusive hype, indoctrination, misinformation, and one-sided portrayals of climate science and economic theory. The problem is the climate “education” efforts I’ve seen so far are nothing more than indoctrination: dogmatic repetition of the claim there is a scientific consensus humans are using too many resources and causing dangerous climate change, with the only solution being to rapidly end the use of fossil fuels – what many analysts call the “climate delusion.” Please, for the sake of the children, their mental health, and physical well-being, acknowledge climate change has always happened and will continue to happen, and that human beings, now as in the past, can adapt to those changes and, within broad limits, adapt nature to better serve our ends, leaving the next generation better off than the previous, ad infinitum into the future. This is what history and science actually show about climate, and it’s the good news the media and the educational system, to the extent the latter broaches the climate topic, should be spreading. Get out the good news. It’s for the children! H Sterling Burnett
    https://go.pardot.com/webmail/548162/413962737/952ee5d0ce1617e55258e235f44031fbba3daf2eb4b11283f8cb682974b20703

  2. While I join the nation in lifting up my fervent prayers for God to deliver us from this unspeakable evil, I’m pretty sure that its ratings will match those of intergalactic hypocrite Al Gore’s abyssal YouTube channel, sold to Al Jazeerah for filthy oily fossil fuel lucre.

    • The context was the Carter Presidency and the second oil shock. After the first oil shock in 1973, we became very interested in energy security. Everyone was investigating alternate energy. The oil companies were big players in the solar photovoltaic industry. The hippies were trying to run their tractors off methane from cow manure. It was actually a scary time. There were still lots of people alive who had experienced the great depression first hand. Folks knew how bad things could get.

      Lately, things have changed because of fracking. IMHO, we are bloody lucky. Maybe some folks have got set in their ways and can’t adapt to changing circumstances. We can forget renewable energy for the time being, but the left didn’t get the memo. They are something like Archie Bunker in that regard.

      • Archie would often pull a quote or a scripture verse right out of the air to counter some Leftist point Meathead was making and end up looking like a fool as he proceeded to butcher it badly, “Yeah, well Sampson picked up a Jawbone out of the grass and whipped up on the army of the PHILIPPINES!

      • Alf Garnett had a nephew in America who once prevented Crocodile Dundee from making an embarrassing error in judgment.

      • It is just this sort of disingenuous “reporting” and back-stabbing and substitution of opinion for objective reporting that led to the rise of “alternative media.”

        Even Fox News gets it wrong. The “US” that the President is alluding to is himself AND the American People. Fox News has hired a number of Leftist apologists for the Deep State and unabashed, biased critics of the President. The disingenuous swipe at the allegations the President made of voter fraud are just one example of impugning his honesty when the basic assertion of voter fraud WAS true. Even the son of a former Democrat elected high ranking politician was caught and convicted in Virginia IIRC. Numerous cases all over the country were discovered, even a ring of voter fraud criminals in Texas. The media work for the Deep State and AGAINST the President and the PEOPLE….pretty simple when you put it into perspective.

        • TEWS_Pilot
          Back stabbing? Huh? How is telling the truth as a reporter backstabbing? Fox has it’s opinion people, Judge Janine and Hannity. You watch that stuff for the entertainment it is, but Fox also has it’s more honest reporting and it’s that Trump hates.

          And I’m at a loss to understand how you can fault a reporter telling the president “we don’t work for you, we report the news.” There is nothing left or right about that. That’s quality reporting. Good on him… and Chris Wallace… and Brett Baier. The fact that Trump can so openly say he expects news channels to be “loyal” to him, is beyond anything we have ever seen in the free world. That’s the kind of stuff happens in Russia and North Korea. It should never be an expectation in the US.
          And I’ll believe your voter fraud (significant)fairy tale when you come up with hard evidence. There’s always the odd case, but nothing like Trump said there was. He was just making excuses for why Clinton got more votes. Typical front foot tactic by Trump. Make up a lie and his dumber followers will swallow it.

          • You didn’t read my comment, did you, and I even went to the trouble to EMPHASIZE the point that the “Fair and Balanced” Neil Cavuto MISSED.

            The President has NEVER said that Fox News works for HIM, he has ACKNOWLEDGED that they work for their EMPLOYER but, obviously in error, in a position of TRUST and LOYALTY, not to Donald Trump, but to the AMERICAN PEOPLE, their AUDIENCE, those TAXPAYERS and VOTERS who depend on them to do an HONEST JOB of REPORTING NEWS and making sure that when they state OPINION, it is clear that it is OPINION. What Cavuto did was classic twisting of President Trump’s words to create a Straw Man to excuse his back-stabbing in an attempt to endear himself to the LEFT.

            If you didn’t follow all the reports of voter fraud from 2000 on, you just weren’t interested. Why do the Democrats fight so hard against even the simplest Voter ID laws? Saying Blacks are to Stoooooooopid to get a FREE photo ID is RACIST and insulting off the charts.

          • Why do the Democrats fight so hard against even the simplest Voter ID laws? Saying Blacks are to Stoooooooopid to get a FREE photo ID is RACIST and insulting off the charts.

            reminds me of this video:
            Ami Horowitz: How white liberals really view black voters

          • Excellent expose!…and they don’t even realize how racist and hypocritical they are. I may have to watch more of his videos.

          • TEWS_Pilot
            “The President has NEVER said that Fox News works for HIM”
            He’s not paying them (as far as we know) but he certainly thinks they should be waving his banner (loyal to him and no one else). Quote from tweet last week.”….Fox isn’t working for us anymore!” An when they say anything he doesn’t, like the toys leave the cot.

            “he has ACKNOWLEDGED that they work for their EMPLOYER.”
            When? Quote please.

          • President Trump mentioned Rupert Murdoch when he owned and ran Fox News… and his sons numerous times. Why is that important? During the 2016 Presidential campaign, it was clear that Fox News was not an advocate for the Democrats and the Deep State the way all the other MSM were, so they were essentially on “OUR” side, the side of Donald Trump and the PEOPLE vs. the Deep State and the Clinton machine and all the other FAKE NEWS arm of the Democratic Party. That is when Donald Trump started calling them out publicly and simply giving favorable mention to Fox News for being fair and unbiased in their reporting. I stated facts, you ignored them and created more straw men, fine. Live the life of a mushroom for all I care.

        • So you seriously think Fox is unbiased? I mean seriously? Come on Fox is about as biased as a news agency could be…. except for a few honest one. And yes CNN is biased too. But let’s not do this delusional thing of fox being the beacon of truth.

          • Do you have a learning disability, or are you just being provocative? Fox News has moved straight LEFT in the past few years since Donald Trump was elected. Prior to the election and for a while after, they were fairly balanced with a bias toward honest reporting. They have added a number of Leftists and the few remaining “Conservatives” are being marginalized or extorted to “tone it down.” Hannity is in fear of being blackballed as well as being subjected to physical attacks from Antifa and other Leftist thugs, and he is probably right.

            CNN and most of the other networks as well as the major newspapers are off the scale biased LEFT. They even make up stories and print outright lies with impunity. They are just a propaganda arm of the Democratic Party. There is NO pretense whatever of being objective journalists. Honest journalism is DEAD in this country and in most other parts of the world.

            Through the eyes of CNN
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/34fbf27a839ef0fcd4df8cac2d0334a11dc7cc1f4f33b8fec11258d9d2d193e0.gif?w=600&h=281

          • “Honest journalism is DEAD in this country and in most other parts of the world.”
            So you think Sean Hannity is an honest journalist?

          • Sean Hannity does not claim to be a “journalist” any more than Rush Limbaugh or Rachel MadCOW does…did I misspell that name?

          • You are right Hannity is not a journalist, but the others mentioned before (Wallis, Baier) are which is why they should be telling the truth (unlike Hannity) and good on them for doing it. I can’t believe you would fault them for it.

          • I fault them for their lack of discernment or clear dishonesty and bias.

            NOBODY who followed Donald Trump on the campaign trail during the 2016 Presidential campaign and listened to his CONTINUOUS COUPLING OF HIMSELF WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, even counting himself as among the “DEPLORABLES,” as comprising the “US” against the Deep State/Democrats/Clinton Machine or for the years since he has been President would EVER misinterpret the word “US” to mean “HIM” alone.

          • “Coupling of himself with some of the American people”…And that coupling is a little… well… uncoupling at the moment.
            This is the man that says he has never heard of a category 5 hurricane? Huh? Once again he shows the world he has no understanding of climate.

          • You are either naive or extremely stupid if you STILL believe every lie told about Donald Trump by the Left. He has used some absurd statements to flush out LEAKERS, and he caught one recently with that LIE about wanting to NUKE HURRICANES, but for the most part, if it seems ABSURD and too STOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID to believe, it probably is.

            “Anonymous sources” also said he plans to use all the LEFTIST social platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Apple, etc.) to “screen” American citizens to see if they are too dangerous to own a gun. Now think about how absurd that claim from either Washington COMpost or New York SLIMES is on its face. NO private organization or cabal has the authority to SCREEN American citizens as to which of their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS they may exercise. Come on!

          • I’m not going to defend everything written by either the right or left extreme media.
            But you painting Trump as some sort of tactical genius who seems to be “beyond stupid but is really just very clever” is just too much. Trump is a clever aggressive, take no prisoners real estate magnate. But he is no politician and the very thing the people wanted in him (not being a politician)is the very thing that will take him out of the game. In the end his lies will catch up with him.
            It always makes me laugh how Trumpers accuse the media of misquoting him. But when you supply the exact quote they change the topic. Or…. accuse the media of being corrupt. So, here’s your chance, why did your man say maybe the dumbest thing ever said about hurricanes. What possible brilliant plan did he have up his sleeve when he said he had never heard of a category 5?

  3. The prospect of 7 hours of global warming on CNN makes me think that Satan has decided I’ve over-stepped my credit limit.

    • Certainly the Anti Christ is firmly in control of the Climate Change Narrative and the political Left-Left

    • Accentuate the positive:

      1) Possible cure for insomnia.
      2) Boredom-torture as an enhanced interrogation technique, ie “boreding”.
      3) Revulsion against so much drivel and propaganda could lead to a backlash.

    • For whatever reason, “7 hours of global warming” reminds me of Two Minutes Hate.

      As far as I can tell, Fidel Castro has them beat by ten minutes.

      LONGEST SPEECH: Castro’s holds the Guinness Book of Records title for the longest speech ever delivered at the United Nations: 4 hours and 29 minutes, on Sept. 29, 1960. His longest speech on record in Cuba was 7 hours and 10 minutes in 1986 at the III Communist Party Congress in Havana. link

        • Visit the Internet Archive ( archive.org ) website for Old Time Radio and TV and movies, books, etc. Hours of entertainment FREE.

          Internet Archive
          archive.org
          The Internet Archive is a San Francisco–based nonprofit digital library with the stated mission of “universal access to all knowledge.” It provides free public access to collections of digitized materials, including websites, software applications/games, music, movies/videos, moving images, and nearly three million public-domain books., its collection topped 15 petabytes. In addition to its archiving function, the Archive is an activist organization, advocating for a free and open Internet.

    • commieBob, Why don’t you have a TV, you ask …

      – maybe because there’s neither wife nor children in your vicinity?

  4. I pray that the liberal democrats don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

  5. One for Pope Francis:

    You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.”
    Matthew 15:7-9

    • Amen! IMHO, that’s the problem with the Roman Catholic church.

      Roman Catholicism, on the other hand, places a high value on human reason. link

      I’m not Orthodox, but I see their point.

      • Human reason without a standard by which to evaluate it is dangerous.

        Colossians 2:8

        Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

  6. They should have a climate channel, with climate propaganda information 24/7, lots of footage of weather climate events, with plenty of climate shills panderbears zombies celebs like Al, St. Greta, De Crapio, and Mikey.
    It would be awesome.

  7. I used to not care much for the Babylon Bee, but they’ve been hitting it out of the park lately.

  8. This is going to be as interesting and informative as those 10-hours of “whatever” videos on youtube. I’d really like to see someone put a laugh track to snippets from that 7 hours.

    10-hour video example

  9. Hucksterism is never a pretty thing.

    Just send a check to me, Joe Isuzu. I’m Earl Scheib. I can paint that car for $195.00!

    If someone tells you now that s/he’s a climate-oriented Christian, just ask which branch? Gaiaism? Dianaism? Mother Nature’s Silver Seed? All sorts of ideas for this.

    Not to be dismal, but in view of how fanatical some of these people are, I sincerely hope this doesn’t turn into some semblance of “Worship my way or die.”

  10. *SIGH*
    Many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have not
    “Amplified Bible Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”

    But have instead “AMP Ephesians 4:14 So then, we may no longer be children, tossed [like ships] to and fro between chance gusts of teaching and wavering with every changing wind of doctrine, [the prey of] the cunning and cleverness of unscrupulous men, [gamblers engaged] in every shifting form of trickery in inventing errors to mislead.”

    When Christ returns is not for we can pray for, that God has kept in His Own power. (Do I need to quote the verse.)
    Even if the variations of the original “CAGW” are true (no evidence they are), Christ didn’t come to save the whales or the microbes. He came to save people from a real and eternal fate and not a computer generated “End Time”.
    His will return. But our prayers won’t hasten that. Draw strength from that certainty. In the mean time speak the Good News of what He did. Give them the opportunity to say yes or no. If they say “no”, leave them alone.
    If they say “yes”, help them to learn and grow in Christ as we all need to do.
    But don’t despair over the latest deception the god of this world is promoting.

    • Thank you Gunga Din for standing up for our Lord. There are many of us Christians that haven’t drunk the global warming cool aid. God made carbon dioxide to be plant food. With the greening that is taking place we can better feed the growing population of earth. It is a blessing not the curse we’ve been led to believe.

    • Gunga Din,

      I provided a mock ‘Hellfire & Brimstone’ sermon as my introduction to a presentation at the First Heartlands Climate Conference (2008). I think you may want to watch it.

      I was scheduled as first speaker of the morning (the video shows some people arriving after the start) and I thought my intro. would awaken the audience and grab attention. Some people liked it so much that they put it on their own blogs.

      A video of me making the entire presentation can be seen here
      https://www.heartland.org/multimedia/videos/richard-courtney-iccc1
      I hope it amuses you.

      Richard

      • PS Richard, I’m happy to see you’re name here again.
        We may disagree on things and about what the Bible actually says about this or that BUT, we we don’t disagree on Who our Lord is. And when He does return, will either of us care?
        God Bless you, brother.

  11. Unfortunately, Dorian will probably be playing right into their hands, if it is scheduled for middle of next week…

    I can hear it now ” See – you people are bad – you caused this hurricane. It is all your fault. Repent !”

  12. Looks like sea ice has turned the corner. It seems the freeze up is getting earlier and earlier the last few seasons. How is this going to fit into the narrative?

    • OH, The Narrative! How about (pick one):

      1 – The Blizzard to End All Things
      2 – Consecutive hurricanes (called “training storms” as if they were box cars on a freight train) that circle the Atlantic and dump megatons of water on Europe
      3 – Endless seiches on all of the Great Lakes, all Euro lakes and major rivers, and flooding in the Sahara
      4 – Snow that lasts more than a couple of days in the dunes of the Sahara
      5 – Snow and ice starting earlier in both hemispheres and lasting longer – oh, wait – it snowed here (Upper Midwest) the end of April. 3 inches. I have photos. Never mind. Starts early, snow period start to finish is longer every year since 2005.

      I could go on, but you get the drift.

  13. Actually the headline made think of this: “Where have you gone Lord Jesus? The Nation turns its lonely eyes on you…” (apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)

  14. Look at the bright side. 7 hours of fake news we know is 7 hours less of fake news we don’t.

  15. In the interests of ‘balance’ (ain’t that a joke!) will WUWT get 7 hours CNN air time to retort?

    Guys, it’ll get better ratings!

  16. Funny how humour that plays off ones sincerely held belief system can be both offensive and fairly creative at the same time. But then, we evangelical believers certainly take ourselves too seriously, and so deserve to be mocked, when it is actually the values and ethics that we should be seriously living.

  17. Hey listen up our American cousins. You think 7 hours on climate change is a challenge!! Here in old Blighty we have just endured 77 hours of non stop BBC coverage of Parliament being closed three whole extra days this year. That is three days over and above what usually happens every year at this time. It might also be worth pointing out, Parliament is still on its summer hols which are always six weeks followed by four weeks of talking at Party conferences.
    You are still in the foot hills of televised boredom over there, jeez 7 hours, we have to endure that before breakfast over here its called the Today program….

    • Rod Evans

      Doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible “For the sins of thine fathers, I shall visit Brexit upon thee, and verily, following 3 full years of 24/7/365 news coverage, the golden one, Boris, shall collude with the Orange one, with the spectre of Russia and Huwawei ever present. And it shall come to pass, ye shall ‘crash out’ thine divine Union with the anointed nation of Europe, without a deal, on the 31st”.

      Amen.

      • HotScot,

        And it shall come to pass, ye shall ‘crash out’ thine divine Union with the anointed nation of Europe, without a deal, on the 31st”. –>

        And it shall come to pass, ye shall ‘crash out’ thine divine Union with the anointed states of Europe, without a deal, on the 31st”.

      • Have mercy on us of the anointed states of EU – we have St. Ursula, and St. Greta and none other than Pope Francis saving us all day long!
        But never fear, the Vatican Synod of Bishops is about to save the America’s – their Synod of Bishops for the Pan-Amazon, in October.

    • Rod
      You are being far too kind to the BBC which is now the world’s Climate Change Porn Channel, even though it is supposed to be providing balanced broadcasting. This is an organisation that is publicly funded but bans a former Chancellor of the Exchequer because he dares disagree with the waste of money and resources on the alleged climate crisis.

      Next to climate pornography the BBC is big on campaigning against Brexit and President Trump, who has been subjected to the most absurd near daily contrived and dubious negative stories. There have, of course,been no matching stories, for example, of the misdeeds of the Clintons or any other right-on approved person or organisation. Well why would the BBC care about truth or balance anymore.

      He sooner the BBC is defunded and has to earn it’s grossly inflated salaries the better. The occasional success with some dramatisation of a long dead 19th Century author doesn’t cut it anymore

  18. And remember, your gift of money will insure that your prayers are elevated to the highest level so that God hears them first!

    In the case of prayers for relief of the scourge of CAGW, your tax dollars will be of most benefit to insuring a straight line to God. Double your prayer gift right now for twice as much blessings! Just pay the additional fee for shipping and handling.

  19. Now this is the sort of argument I use to try and shut down climate nutters when they try to get me invested in the scam. I tell them straight that God said Himself in the Bible that the Earth would never be destroyed by flooding ever again. Now pay attention to that statement, He said specifically, never to be destroyed by flooding again. The so-called rising sea levels is a form of destroying the Earth by flooding, which goes against what the Lord said Himself. If any of these green (Gosh , I’m growing to detest that word) fools had any sort of knowledge of the Bible, they would know that rising sea levels is utter crap. But let them be, they live by the sword, they shall die by the sword. God will have His wrath on those who seek such sinister ways. Have faith my friends.

  20. Oh Lord , Won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz , my friends all drive Porches’s I must make amends .
    The Pope flies Airbus and Dicaprio on models so Oh Lord won’t you buy me a new Lear jet .

  21. Has there ever been a “news ” network so determined to find out what their rock bottom base is ?
    The chimps that run CNN can’t read the room but their advertisers and fleeting audience sure can .
    There has to be a pot of gold for someone to completely tank the business the way they are .
    Good riddance .

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