Reposted with permission from the Babylon Bee
August 30th, 2019
U.S.—Millions of Americans have repented of their sinful ways and turned to Jesus after hearing that Democrats are going to be on CNN for seven whole hours talking about climate change next week.
Whole cities, towns, and states accepted Christ as their savior as they saw God’s judgment coming on the nation in the form of Democrats going on and on about climate change for hours.
“Please Lord—do not leave Your people to suffer,” one man prayed, prostrate on the ground, sweating blood from his despair. “Why have you forsaken us? ‘Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression?‘”
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done,” cried one Seattle woman, who was an atheist until she heard about the town hall and repented of her sins. “I have strayed far from you, Lord, but I now commit my life to you if you’ll just promise to return before Wednesday.”
“We know, O Lord, that you can save us from having to hear rich white guys with multiple homes lecture us on conserving energy,” said a man named Daniel in Iowa. “But even if You do not, you are still Lord.”
“But seriously, please, save us.”
###
This Friday Funny feature is courtesy of the Babylon Bee
Discover more from Watts Up With That?
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
…Thank God..for “Remote Control Channel Changers ! (or the nearest kid )
***ALARMIST EDUCATORS PRESSURE CHILDREN INTO FEAR & DEPRESSION
The news media promote and highlight climate protests by kids whom most societies have deemed too young, too undeveloped and immature, to enter into contracts, decide whether they should get tattoos or undertake major surgery, get married, smoke, drive, vote, drink alcohol, see an R-rated movie, legally purchase firearms, live on their own, or be held accountable as adults for most crimes. But we are supposed to take their misinformed fears of climate disaster seriously, fears instilled in them by years of abusive hype, indoctrination, misinformation, and one-sided portrayals of climate science and economic theory. The problem is the climate “education” efforts I’ve seen so far are nothing more than indoctrination: dogmatic repetition of the claim there is a scientific consensus humans are using too many resources and causing dangerous climate change, with the only solution being to rapidly end the use of fossil fuels – what many analysts call the “climate delusion.” Please, for the sake of the children, their mental health, and physical well-being, acknowledge climate change has always happened and will continue to happen, and that human beings, now as in the past, can adapt to those changes and, within broad limits, adapt nature to better serve our ends, leaving the next generation better off than the previous, ad infinitum into the future. This is what history and science actually show about climate, and it’s the good news the media and the educational system, to the extent the latter broaches the climate topic, should be spreading. Get out the good news. It’s for the children! H Sterling Burnett
https://go.pardot.com/webmail/548162/413962737/952ee5d0ce1617e55258e235f44031fbba3daf2eb4b11283f8cb682974b20703
While I join the nation in lifting up my fervent prayers for God to deliver us from this unspeakable evil, I’m pretty sure that its ratings will match those of intergalactic hypocrite Al Gore’s abyssal YouTube channel, sold to Al Jazeerah for filthy oily fossil fuel lucre.
Don’t you mean abysmal?
Abyssal, like some big bloated anglerfish luring poor little gullible minnows into its maw.
Geez, I’ve really got it in for Gore today. 🙂
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abyssal_plain
I associate Prince Albert with the sedimentary ooze covering the abyssal depths, although the plains are flat, unlike Fat Albert’s dugongomorphic anatomical structure. Which reminds me of the micro Mannatee.
I associate Prince Albert with a can.
Prince Albert used to be proud of his having done everything involved in tobacco production.
Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Well, let him out!
I associate Al Gore with brown sedimentary ooze.
theres another variant on a prince albert
and it suits the crazed sex poodle even more:-))))
read about this in a crime/thriller book recently didnt know if it was real or not
seems it is
oh deary deary me, eyewatering…
Why Is a Male Genital Piercing Called a Prince Albert …
[Search domain http://www.reference.com/beauty-fashion/male-genital-piercing-called-prince-albert-ba6135db28d6650%5D https://www.reference.com/beauty-fashion/male-genital-piercing-called-prince-albert-ba6135db28d6650
The Prince Albert piercing style is named after Prince Albert of England, the husband of Queen Victoria. It is believed that the monarch had this type of piercing. In the early 1800s, tight trousers were a popular style for men.
Oz:
Not recommended before antibiotics. Maybe that’s what killed PA.
But then Oz Aborigines sliced their foreskins as an initiation rite and of course many have had them removed as infants.
abyssal is a good word, I like it’s use here. (okay abysmal would be more common) Abyssal, as low as the depths of the ocean. For English language nerds, “abysmal” has almost the same etymology as “abyssal”.
Yeah – plumbing the depths of unreason.
That makes me think of the etymology of “plumb bob” and “plumber”.
This could go on for a while.
That works, too, but I meant abyssal, as in depths as low as you can go.
He means Al bysmal.
Buh-dump! Rim shot.
Not to be confused with “Pepto.”
Yeah,TEWs_Pilot, but after listening to Al, one may just feel the need to reach for the Pepto.
It’s all in the sssss sound, as in abyssssal. “Biz” just doesn’t cut it.
Archie Bunker on Democrats
The context was the Carter Presidency and the second oil shock. After the first oil shock in 1973, we became very interested in energy security. Everyone was investigating alternate energy. The oil companies were big players in the solar photovoltaic industry. The hippies were trying to run their tractors off methane from cow manure. It was actually a scary time. There were still lots of people alive who had experienced the great depression first hand. Folks knew how bad things could get.
Lately, things have changed because of fracking. IMHO, we are bloody lucky. Maybe some folks have got set in their ways and can’t adapt to changing circumstances. We can forget renewable energy for the time being, but the left didn’t get the memo. They are something like Archie Bunker in that regard.
Very good.
Archie was always a good soothsayer. 🙂
Archie would often pull a quote or a scripture verse right out of the air to counter some Leftist point Meathead was making and end up looking like a fool as he proceeded to butcher it badly, “Yeah, well Sampson picked up a Jawbone out of the grass and whipped up on the army of the PHILIPPINES!“
Bob Hope on Democrats
FANTASTIC! 😀
Gawd, that never gets old! 😀
But what did Alf Garnett have to say on the subject, or the related Labour Party?
Alf Garnett had a nephew in America who once prevented Crocodile Dundee from making an embarrassing error in judgment.
CNN =Chit Not News
Meanwhile I see Fox is turning Trump. Interesting times…
It is just this sort of disingenuous “reporting” and back-stabbing and substitution of opinion for objective reporting that led to the rise of “alternative media.”
Even Fox News gets it wrong. The “US” that the President is alluding to is himself AND the American People. Fox News has hired a number of Leftist apologists for the Deep State and unabashed, biased critics of the President. The disingenuous swipe at the allegations the President made of voter fraud are just one example of impugning his honesty when the basic assertion of voter fraud WAS true. Even the son of a former Democrat elected high ranking politician was caught and convicted in Virginia IIRC. Numerous cases all over the country were discovered, even a ring of voter fraud criminals in Texas. The media work for the Deep State and AGAINST the President and the PEOPLE….pretty simple when you put it into perspective.
TEWS_Pilot
Back stabbing? Huh? How is telling the truth as a reporter backstabbing? Fox has it’s opinion people, Judge Janine and Hannity. You watch that stuff for the entertainment it is, but Fox also has it’s more honest reporting and it’s that Trump hates.
And I’m at a loss to understand how you can fault a reporter telling the president “we don’t work for you, we report the news.” There is nothing left or right about that. That’s quality reporting. Good on him… and Chris Wallace… and Brett Baier. The fact that Trump can so openly say he expects news channels to be “loyal” to him, is beyond anything we have ever seen in the free world. That’s the kind of stuff happens in Russia and North Korea. It should never be an expectation in the US.
And I’ll believe your voter fraud (significant)fairy tale when you come up with hard evidence. There’s always the odd case, but nothing like Trump said there was. He was just making excuses for why Clinton got more votes. Typical front foot tactic by Trump. Make up a lie and his dumber followers will swallow it.
You didn’t read my comment, did you, and I even went to the trouble to EMPHASIZE the point that the “Fair and Balanced” Neil Cavuto MISSED.
The President has NEVER said that Fox News works for HIM, he has ACKNOWLEDGED that they work for their EMPLOYER but, obviously in error, in a position of TRUST and LOYALTY, not to Donald Trump, but to the AMERICAN PEOPLE, their AUDIENCE, those TAXPAYERS and VOTERS who depend on them to do an HONEST JOB of REPORTING NEWS and making sure that when they state OPINION, it is clear that it is OPINION. What Cavuto did was classic twisting of President Trump’s words to create a Straw Man to excuse his back-stabbing in an attempt to endear himself to the LEFT.
If you didn’t follow all the reports of voter fraud from 2000 on, you just weren’t interested. Why do the Democrats fight so hard against even the simplest Voter ID laws? Saying Blacks are to Stoooooooopid to get a FREE photo ID is RACIST and insulting off the charts.
Why do the Democrats fight so hard against even the simplest Voter ID laws? Saying Blacks are to Stoooooooopid to get a FREE photo ID is RACIST and insulting off the charts.
reminds me of this video:
Ami Horowitz: How white liberals really view black voters
Excellent expose!…and they don’t even realize how racist and hypocritical they are. I may have to watch more of his videos.
TEWS_Pilot
“The President has NEVER said that Fox News works for HIM”
He’s not paying them (as far as we know) but he certainly thinks they should be waving his banner (loyal to him and no one else). Quote from tweet last week.”….Fox isn’t working for us anymore!” An when they say anything he doesn’t, like the toys leave the cot.
“he has ACKNOWLEDGED that they work for their EMPLOYER.”
When? Quote please.
President Trump mentioned Rupert Murdoch when he owned and ran Fox News… and his sons numerous times. Why is that important? During the 2016 Presidential campaign, it was clear that Fox News was not an advocate for the Democrats and the Deep State the way all the other MSM were, so they were essentially on “OUR” side, the side of Donald Trump and the PEOPLE vs. the Deep State and the Clinton machine and all the other FAKE NEWS arm of the Democratic Party. That is when Donald Trump started calling them out publicly and simply giving favorable mention to Fox News for being fair and unbiased in their reporting. I stated facts, you ignored them and created more straw men, fine. Live the life of a mushroom for all I care.
So you seriously think Fox is unbiased? I mean seriously? Come on Fox is about as biased as a news agency could be…. except for a few honest one. And yes CNN is biased too. But let’s not do this delusional thing of fox being the beacon of truth.
Do you have a learning disability, or are you just being provocative? Fox News has moved straight LEFT in the past few years since Donald Trump was elected. Prior to the election and for a while after, they were fairly balanced with a bias toward honest reporting. They have added a number of Leftists and the few remaining “Conservatives” are being marginalized or extorted to “tone it down.” Hannity is in fear of being blackballed as well as being subjected to physical attacks from Antifa and other Leftist thugs, and he is probably right.
CNN and most of the other networks as well as the major newspapers are off the scale biased LEFT. They even make up stories and print outright lies with impunity. They are just a propaganda arm of the Democratic Party. There is NO pretense whatever of being objective journalists. Honest journalism is DEAD in this country and in most other parts of the world.
Through the eyes of CNN
?w=600&h=281
“Honest journalism is DEAD in this country and in most other parts of the world.”
So you think Sean Hannity is an honest journalist?
Sean Hannity does not claim to be a “journalist” any more than Rush Limbaugh or Rachel MadCOW does…did I misspell that name?
You are right Hannity is not a journalist, but the others mentioned before (Wallis, Baier) are which is why they should be telling the truth (unlike Hannity) and good on them for doing it. I can’t believe you would fault them for it.
I fault them for their lack of discernment or clear dishonesty and bias.
NOBODY who followed Donald Trump on the campaign trail during the 2016 Presidential campaign and listened to his CONTINUOUS COUPLING OF HIMSELF WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, even counting himself as among the “DEPLORABLES,” as comprising the “US” against the Deep State/Democrats/Clinton Machine or for the years since he has been President would EVER misinterpret the word “US” to mean “HIM” alone.
“Coupling of himself with some of the American people”…And that coupling is a little… well… uncoupling at the moment.
This is the man that says he has never heard of a category 5 hurricane? Huh? Once again he shows the world he has no understanding of climate.
You are either naive or extremely stupid if you STILL believe every lie told about Donald Trump by the Left. He has used some absurd statements to flush out LEAKERS, and he caught one recently with that LIE about wanting to NUKE HURRICANES, but for the most part, if it seems ABSURD and too STOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID to believe, it probably is.
“Anonymous sources” also said he plans to use all the LEFTIST social platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Apple, etc.) to “screen” American citizens to see if they are too dangerous to own a gun. Now think about how absurd that claim from either Washington COMpost or New York SLIMES is on its face. NO private organization or cabal has the authority to SCREEN American citizens as to which of their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS they may exercise. Come on!
I’m not going to defend everything written by either the right or left extreme media.
But you painting Trump as some sort of tactical genius who seems to be “beyond stupid but is really just very clever” is just too much. Trump is a clever aggressive, take no prisoners real estate magnate. But he is no politician and the very thing the people wanted in him (not being a politician)is the very thing that will take him out of the game. In the end his lies will catch up with him.
It always makes me laugh how Trumpers accuse the media of misquoting him. But when you supply the exact quote they change the topic. Or…. accuse the media of being corrupt. So, here’s your chance, why did your man say maybe the dumbest thing ever said about hurricanes. What possible brilliant plan did he have up his sleeve when he said he had never heard of a category 5?
The prospect of 7 hours of global warming on CNN makes me think that Satan has decided I’ve over-stepped my credit limit.
Certainly the Anti Christ is firmly in control of the Climate Change Narrative and the political Left-Left
Accentuate the positive:
1) Possible cure for insomnia.
2) Boredom-torture as an enhanced interrogation technique, ie “boreding”.
3) Revulsion against so much drivel and propaganda could lead to a backlash.
For whatever reason, “7 hours of global warming” reminds me of Two Minutes Hate.
As far as I can tell, Fidel Castro has them beat by ten minutes.
CNN could cover the melting of Canada’s National Igloo in Ottawa.
🙂
It’s certainly cruel and unusual punishment.
Why don’t I have a TV, you ask …
Well, really, what IS there to watch other than reruns of stuff from the 1960s and 1970s?
I like Film Noir from the 40’s.
Visit the Internet Archive ( archive.org ) website for Old Time Radio and TV and movies, books, etc. Hours of entertainment FREE.
Internet Archive
archive.org
The Internet Archive is a San Francisco–based nonprofit digital library with the stated mission of “universal access to all knowledge.” It provides free public access to collections of digitized materials, including websites, software applications/games, music, movies/videos, moving images, and nearly three million public-domain books., its collection topped 15 petabytes. In addition to its archiving function, the Archive is an activist organization, advocating for a free and open Internet.
Football!
commieBob, Why don’t you have a TV, you ask …
– maybe because there’s neither wife nor children in your vicinity?
???
I pray that the liberal democrats don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
One for Pope Francis:
You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: “This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.”
– Matthew 15:7-9
Amen! IMHO, that’s the problem with the Roman Catholic church.
I’m not Orthodox, but I see their point.
Human reason without a standard by which to evaluate it is dangerous.
Colossians 2:8
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Love the “Anything but that!” meme here.
Dear Lord, save us form self-righteous and hypocritical Democrats and CNN.
“self-righteous and hypocritical Democrats and CNN”
Isn’t that redundant?
They should have a climate channel, with climate
propagandainformation 24/7, lots of footage ofweatherclimate events, with plenty of climateshillspanderbearszombiescelebs like Al, St. Greta, De Crapio, and Mikey.It would be awesome.
Sounds like The Weather Channel, actually.
+42 🙂
An Inconvenient Channel
That’s a fantastic idea: climate cook shows, climatethons, climate adventure shows, super action climate heroes (Greta the climate cyborg could save the earth from the demon carbon gas) … the list could be endless.
we already have the BBC..
They don’t?
Note to self: -Enlist for a bomber aircraft type rating ASAP, the end is near.
I used to not care much for the Babylon Bee, but they’ve been hitting it out of the park lately.
Hilarious! 🙂 Another home run from The Bee!
This is going to be as interesting and informative as those 10-hours of “whatever” videos on youtube. I’d really like to see someone put a laugh track to snippets from that 7 hours.
10-hour video example
The climate town hall in a 10-hr nutshell
Hucksterism is never a pretty thing.
Just send a check to me, Joe Isuzu. I’m Earl Scheib. I can paint that car for $195.00!
If someone tells you now that s/he’s a climate-oriented Christian, just ask which branch? Gaiaism? Dianaism? Mother Nature’s Silver Seed? All sorts of ideas for this.
Not to be dismal, but in view of how fanatical some of these people are, I sincerely hope this doesn’t turn into some semblance of “Worship my way or die.”
Dating myself… I remember Earl Scheib when he charged $100!
*SIGH*
Many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have not
“Amplified Bible Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].”
But have instead “AMP Ephesians 4:14 So then, we may no longer be children, tossed [like ships] to and fro between chance gusts of teaching and wavering with every changing wind of doctrine, [the prey of] the cunning and cleverness of unscrupulous men, [gamblers engaged] in every shifting form of trickery in inventing errors to mislead.”
When Christ returns is not for we can pray for, that God has kept in His Own power. (Do I need to quote the verse.)
Even if the variations of the original “CAGW” are true (no evidence they are), Christ didn’t come to save the whales or the microbes. He came to save people from a real and eternal fate and not a computer generated “End Time”.
His will return. But our prayers won’t hasten that. Draw strength from that certainty. In the mean time speak the Good News of what He did. Give them the opportunity to say yes or no. If they say “no”, leave them alone.
If they say “yes”, help them to learn and grow in Christ as we all need to do.
But don’t despair over the latest deception the god of this world is promoting.
Thank you Gunga Din for standing up for our Lord. There are many of us Christians that haven’t drunk the global warming cool aid. God made carbon dioxide to be plant food. With the greening that is taking place we can better feed the growing population of earth. It is a blessing not the curse we’ve been led to believe.
Gunga Din,
I provided a mock ‘Hellfire & Brimstone’ sermon as my introduction to a presentation at the First Heartlands Climate Conference (2008). I think you may want to watch it.
I was scheduled as first speaker of the morning (the video shows some people arriving after the start) and I thought my intro. would awaken the audience and grab attention. Some people liked it so much that they put it on their own blogs.
A video of me making the entire presentation can be seen here
https://www.heartland.org/multimedia/videos/richard-courtney-iccc1
I hope it amuses you.
Richard
Thanks, Richard.
PS Richard, I’m happy to see you’re name here again.
We may disagree on things and about what the Bible actually says about this or that BUT, we we don’t disagree on Who our Lord is. And when He does return, will either of us care?
God Bless you, brother.
Now, that’s funny.
Unfortunately, Dorian will probably be playing right into their hands, if it is scheduled for middle of next week…
I can hear it now ” See – you people are bad – you caused this hurricane. It is all your fault. Repent !”
Already started. On cue.
Looks like sea ice has turned the corner. It seems the freeze up is getting earlier and earlier the last few seasons. How is this going to fit into the narrative?
OH, The Narrative! How about (pick one):
1 – The Blizzard to End All Things
2 – Consecutive hurricanes (called “training storms” as if they were box cars on a freight train) that circle the Atlantic and dump megatons of water on Europe
3 – Endless seiches on all of the Great Lakes, all Euro lakes and major rivers, and flooding in the Sahara
4 – Snow that lasts more than a couple of days in the dunes of the Sahara
5 – Snow and ice starting earlier in both hemispheres and lasting longer – oh, wait – it snowed here (Upper Midwest) the end of April. 3 inches. I have photos. Never mind. Starts early, snow period start to finish is longer every year since 2005.
I could go on, but you get the drift.
Actually the headline made think of this: “Where have you gone Lord Jesus? The Nation turns its lonely eyes on you…” (apologies to Simon and Garfunkel)
“self-righteous and hypocritical Democrats and CNN”
Isn’t that redundant?
Look at the bright side. 7 hours of fake news we know is 7 hours less of fake news we don’t.
In the interests of ‘balance’ (ain’t that a joke!) will WUWT get 7 hours CNN air time to retort?
Guys, it’ll get better ratings!