How do you attend a Distant Climate Conference Without Flying?

Guest essay by Eric Worrall

h/t Dr. Willie Soon – Swedish climate messiah Greta Thunberg has a problem. She desperately wants to attend climate conferences in New York (September) and Santiago (December), but unlike most greens she is serious about avoiding air travel.

How do you cross the Atlantic Ocean without flying?

I’ve got a few ideas, but I doubt arriving by luxury transatlantic cruise liner is quite the down to earth minimalist image Greta wants to project.

Some of Greta’s fans have suggested telecommuting, but if this was a solution surely all greens would be telecommuting to climate conferences, instead of scarring their personal consciences with distasteful but ecologically necessary air travel.

I’m sure you are all as keen to help as I am. Perhaps we can all pitch in, help little Greta figure out how to attend those crucial climate conferences in far flung locations, without compromising those heartfelt climate principles which have attracted so much global media attention.

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oebele bruinsma
June 19, 2019 6:04 am

Stop talking and save the exhaled CO2.

Reply to  oebele bruinsma
June 19, 2019 9:21 am

Quite the contrary. Does she have a lot to contribute to climate science? Especially on Fridays.

Reply to  Curious George
June 19, 2019 2:45 pm

Little Greta should work hard at school and university.

Essential studies should be earth physics and economics and thinking for ones self.

Provided she has a non progressive professor -(if there is such a thing nowadays).

Maybe then she will be in a position to make a scientific contribution to her “global” warming without bothering to worry about traveling around the world.

In the mean time little Greta should study this little piece of basic science.

Needless to say, going to this blog involves minimal carbon pollution



Alastair Brickell
Reply to  Roger Surf
June 19, 2019 4:56 pm

Roger Surf
June 19, 2019 at 2:45 pm

Yes, Roger and she should also study geology and geomorphology so she can learn just how Father Earth really works.

Hot under the collar
Reply to  Curious George
June 19, 2019 3:45 pm

Surely we shouldn’t be seeing images of Greta because manufacturing and powering camera equipment, mobile phones, books and computers requires fossil fuels?

Reply to  oebele bruinsma
June 19, 2019 9:22 am

They are brain dead. they lie. Tell me how to subvert the masses! Please stop if I’m being bad.Cradle to Grave. Although,fools follow!

Reply to  oebele bruinsma
June 19, 2019 10:16 am

All ‘progressives’ should stop exhaling ‘polluting’ CO2 right now!

Big T
Reply to  oebele bruinsma
June 19, 2019 11:42 am

Catch a ride on a Swedish submarine. Would only cost, oh around a few million dollars. Al poor gore would cover it.

Reply to  Big T
June 19, 2019 12:04 pm

Would a Sweidish submarine satisfy her conscience? The submarines of the Swedish Navy use diesel.
“HSwMS Gotland (Gtd) is a defense submarine of the Swedish Navy. It was the first ship of the Gotland-class, which was the first operational submarine class in the world to use air-independent propulsion in the form of Stirling engines which use liquid oxygen and diesel as the propellant.” (Wikipedia)

Reply to  Alba
June 19, 2019 3:29 pm

Diesel is an evil fossil fuel…the worst of the worst because it enables so much other activity like digging up more fossil fuels. Maybe she could purchase an Indulgence from the Pope for her flight offsets. I am sure it would be alright as long as she confesses to her Sin(s).

Reply to  Earthling2
June 19, 2019 5:17 pm

However, diesel submarines were the first hybrids. The enviros should love them!


Reply to  Big T
June 20, 2019 10:00 am

Take the “AOC Train” across the ocean.

Going to be done in 12 years.

Greta will have to miss a few conferences.

The cross-ocean train is a big part of the Green Ordeal.

Fred Hubler
Reply to  Richard Greene
June 24, 2019 11:47 am

“Green Ordeal” … GOD; That’s what they want to play.

Bill P.
Reply to  oebele bruinsma
June 19, 2019 11:44 am

We are witnessing the transition of climate hysteria from the cynical bid for political hegemony it was originally intended to be (the “red-green alliance”) to a jihad led by true-believers who have more faith in their power to tilt the earth on its axis than any religious fanatic ever had in his deity.

This is how “radical” transforms into FANATICAL. Interestingly the first victims aren’t usually the infidels who don’t believe but the older-generation adherents who DON’T BELIEVE HARD ENOUGH.

Just wait. The show-trials of people like Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio will be stunning in scope and ferocity. They’ll be forced into public apology and humiliation shortly before their executions as Enemies of the Planet.

Reply to  Bill P.
June 19, 2019 9:05 pm

No, Bill. I think people like *us* will be tried and executed before those fanatical masses leading to the civilizations of the planet plunging into a fierce scientific dark age that will last for generations after totalitarian socialists use climate change as an excuse to seize power. Millions will die. Science as practiced by the likes of Dyson, Feynman, and Popper will be a casualty, and the widespread use of modern databases will be sufficient to keep all people under scrutiny the likes of which would have embarrassed Stalin.

The battle is over. The eco-facists have won. They are now ratcheting up the rhetoric to discover who among them will be the first to draw blood.

Nicholas McGinley
Reply to  Psion
June 19, 2019 10:58 pm

I do not think so.
They are not armed.
The people they are calling deniers, for the most part, are heavily armed. Here in the US anyway.
How all the people in those other countries let themselves be disarmed after what happened in the first half of the 20th century, I will never understand.

Reply to  Nicholas McGinley
June 20, 2019 12:27 am

Even here in “ gun free” England the right have military training and own guns and heavy machinery. The Left would be crazy to go violent, Oh…….

Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 6:05 am

Merchant ship passenger? Or work your passage? or charter a sailboat?

Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 7:30 am

Sailing, swimming or rowing are the only non fossil fueled alternatives, but only in wooden vessel.
Or perhaps she could wait for the next ice age and walk across the North Pacific Land Bridge.
Better yet she could just stay home and perhaps obtain some useful education.

Walter Sobchak
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 8:25 am

Wooden sail boat with canvas sails. Shouldn’t take more than a month.

Bryan A
Reply to  Walter Sobchak
June 19, 2019 9:59 am

Robot Proxy
Much the same way that ailing students can attand class from the discomfort of a Hospital Bed.
Similar to the Punishment Sam received on Big Brother.
Drive a robot around the venue remotely and still be able to interact without leaving home.

Reply to  Walter Sobchak
June 19, 2019 11:53 am

Wooden sailboat.. ..without tar being used.
I guess is gonna be all about swimming anyway.

Reply to  M.Hillridge
June 19, 2019 2:24 pm

“Tar” used on wooden boats is actually Stockholm tar which is made from pine sap – so all organic. But I do take your point.

Reply to  M.Hillridge
June 19, 2019 4:59 pm

Bzzzt! Timber is made of carbon.

Alastair Brickell
Reply to  Walter Sobchak
June 19, 2019 5:00 pm

Walter Sobchak
June 19, 2019 at 8:25 am

Also only lashed together with organically grown hemp. No iron nails made with that dreadful coal allowed. No compass, radio, sat phone or GPS either.

She could set a new trend and really getting the greenies thinking about just how our world really words.

Reply to  Alastair Brickell
June 20, 2019 2:38 am

In the earlier days of shipbuilding they used wooden Nails; trennels they called them.

Reply to  Walter Sobchak
June 20, 2019 6:18 am

and she should take her parents with her as they sail through the icefree Arctic..please!!

Brent Hargreaves
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 8:41 am

Swimming. Definitely swimming.

Bloke down the pub
Reply to  Brent Hargreaves
June 19, 2019 9:57 am

From her followers, you’d think that walking there was not beyond her.

Reply to  Brent Hargreaves
June 19, 2019 6:17 pm

Broom. Greta could ride a broom.

tim wells
Reply to  toorightmate
June 23, 2019 4:18 am

The broom belongs to her evil, twisted mother.

Reply to  Brent Hargreaves
June 20, 2019 2:43 pm

No Brent she can walk on water – she is after all the “climate messiah”

Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 9:26 am

But sailing in a wooden ship consumes precious rain forests, and sailcloth today is made of man-made fibers made from .. omigosh, petroleum! Or else she could insist on linen canvass, but omigosh that too consumes petroleum fuel and precious water, thousands of gallons for every square meter of canvas. And of course the canvass must be handwoven, since machines and factories are tools of the capitalist devils … which means the canvas must be produced by poor piece workers in sweatshops all over the third world .. which means … … …

The only solution therefore is for her to swim across the ocean, and trust that Gaia will protect her all the way from drowning, dying of exposure, or getting eaten by really big fish, perhaps with the help of her very own squadron of earth-loving dolphins to help her along and fight off the sharks.

I got it – she could announce that she renounces all forms of transport and sustenance, and hopes therefore that Gaia will simply keep her alive to continue her preaching to all those horrible humans who pollute the earth with their .. lives. The implication of that stance, however, is too inhuman to contemplate.

Reply to  Duane
June 19, 2019 11:13 am

have you ever seen the movie Kon-Tiki?
It was evidently good enough for ploynesians and for a stubborn Norwegian with a point to prove to cross the Pacific on balsawood rafts like this one
Saint Greta could follow suit if she is serious – I hope she knows how to tie knots.

Bryan A
Reply to  Erny72
June 19, 2019 12:07 pm

Kon-Tiki…Haven’t seen the movie but did Reed the book

Reply to  Erny72
June 19, 2019 3:31 pm

haven`t seen the movie either but got the book, and the watch

maybe she could just send a letter ( all those trees and energy for pulping and drying), with a photograph (oops, big business and lots of nasty chemicals) of her in it so it could be pinned up on the wall in the auditorium (aargh, energy for cement manufacture , and sand extraction, and… . . and,. . . . and . . . . .,

Bryan A
Reply to  Erny72
June 19, 2019 9:23 pm

Gotta be careful with that Sand Extraction … Sand Extraction leads to Man Camps and such

Greg Cavanagh
Reply to  Erny72
June 20, 2019 2:34 pm

This thing called into Mooloolaba harbour in 1970. I was four years old, but I do remember it. It was distinctly unexciting, was my memory; and I wondered why there was such a buzz about this ugly thing.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 9:44 am

If she swam, she could do double duty and end up in the Guinness Book of Records, or Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.

Another Paul
Reply to  Clyde Spencer
June 19, 2019 10:06 am

…or earn a Darwin Award

Mike Graebner
Reply to  Another Paul
June 19, 2019 12:45 pm

really LOL

John Tillman
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 9:54 am

Then 15 year-old Laura Dekker used ketch Guppy’s motor for two days when crossing the Atlantic:

Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 10:31 am

Like rocket science.

Henry chance
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 4:20 pm

One of my college degrees was economics. For a graduation present after grad school, I imported a new 30′ sailboat. It was made from polyester resin. The keel cast iron. The Dacron Sails Talk about green virtue. Lot of carbon involved in sailing. 70 mile round trip to the yacht club.

John Tillman
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 20, 2019 8:38 am

In winter you can walk across the Bering Strait on the sea ice. But she has missed that opportunity.

Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 8:30 am

Sailing the Viking route to Newfoundland, cycle down to NYC

Tom Gelsthorpe
Reply to  Vuk
June 19, 2019 9:26 am

You can’t cycle from Newfie to the Big Apple without using fossil-fuel-smelted metals, ocean-transported components, and asphalt-paved roads built with diesel-powered equipment.

I’m sure you knew all this — but I’m posting it for the benefit of any virtue-signalers who might not have thought things through.

Y. Knott
Reply to  Tom Gelsthorpe
June 20, 2019 7:38 am

– and Newfoundland’s an island; you can’t cycle to the mainland from there. She’d be better-off sailing to Labrador, there’s a road from Goose Bay, but if she tries cycling that road she’ll get eaten alive by insects (in Summer) or freeze to death (in Winter).

Maybe she should sail all the way to New York. In a really big sailing boat, because she’s against the prevailing winds and the Gulf Stream all the way so it’s going to take a long time, and she’s going to need enough space onboard to stow things to eat.

Still, I respect her actually trying to live-up to her principles – unlike all the “Well I HAVE to fly to all those conferences – how else are we going to SAAAAAVE THE EARTH!!!” types. I consider Greta “honest but misguided”, as opposed to just-about all the rest whom I consider “liars and confidence artists”.

Tom Halla
June 19, 2019 6:08 am

Well, people have used a rowboat to cross the Atlantic. . .

Reply to  Tom Halla
June 19, 2019 8:39 am

You beat me to it, Tom.


Reply to  Tom Halla
June 19, 2019 8:58 am

She probably can’t do that to Australia we have a turn back the boat policy even for climate refugees

Thomas Englert
Reply to  Tom Halla
June 19, 2019 10:06 am

Paddle to Buenos Aires, then overland to Santiago.

Reply to  Tom Halla
June 19, 2019 10:14 am

Rowing with ten beefy rowers will put out a lot more CO2 than flying.

Bryan A
Reply to  Chaswarnertoo
June 19, 2019 2:24 pm

Perhaps Bjorn Lothbrok could give her a spot on his next raiding

June 19, 2019 6:09 am

She shouldt try to walk over the water, at least

Gerald Machnee
Reply to  Krishna Gans
June 19, 2019 9:19 am

Not yet. If she speaks at the meeting she may then be qualified to walk on water.

Reply to  Krishna Gans
June 19, 2019 9:37 am

Possible with pontoon shoes. They’re normally made from petroleum-derived synthetics, but she could hand carve a pair from a cork log. And a natural fiber rope tied between them as a stabilizer, so you don’t do the splits and hit the water crotch-first. And learn to walk with them (more of a shuffle than a walk).

Then, provided she doesn’t run into any rough seas or get mistaken for lunch by sharks, she’ll be home free. 😉

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  drednicolson
June 19, 2019 9:53 am

“Cork log?”

Bryan A
Reply to  Clyde Spencer
June 19, 2019 2:27 pm

Cork Oak is rather heavy but still floats

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  Bryan A
June 20, 2019 2:27 pm

As do most woods. But, not as well as cork bark.

Another Paul
Reply to  drednicolson
June 19, 2019 10:10 am

“hand carve a pair from a cork log” Harvested with?
“a natural fiber rope” Twisted using?
And how would one transport enough food and water for this trip?

Reply to  Krishna Gans
June 19, 2019 12:38 pm

If she’s the messiah, she ought be able to walk on water.

E J Zuiderwijk
June 19, 2019 6:11 am

The Vikings used to build excellent longboats and sailed and rowed all over the north Atlantic.

So, Greta should build herself a nice replica and organise a dozen able young men to row her to New York, then take the train onwards to Santiago (she will have to walk the section between Panama and Colombia, but that’s a little detail).

Somehow I doubt that she can find a single bloke for her virtue voyage. Women perhaps?

Reply to  E J Zuiderwijk
June 19, 2019 7:56 am

She will have to walk (or rather go by car) a very great deal more than that. There is no internationally connected railway system in South America. Many countries don’t even have a connected network within the country. Even when she gets to the Chilean border there is no longer any railway service to Santiago. I’m not even sure there are any passenger service from Valparaiso to Santiago if she comes by boat.

Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 9:48 am

Go by car? Good luck charging an EV in South America. Wait, you didn’t mean an ICE powered vehicle, did you? No, no, no, no, no.

She could, though, get a horse or a jackass (but Gore might not be available).

Craig from Oz
Reply to  jtom
June 19, 2019 4:47 pm

Not sure what Gore wears on the end of his limbs, but horses have steel shoes which (spoiler) do not grow on trees.

Also horses fart, and we know what AOC thinks about farty animals.

Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 10:08 am

If walking, she’ll start soon, passing Russia, China, travel over the Aleutian Islands, than south-east…. 😀

John Tillman
Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 12:13 pm

There isn’t a passenger train from Valpo to Santiasco, nor from the port of San Antonio.

But there is a proposal to upgrade tracks for high-speed passenger service to both ports from the metropolitan region.

Alan Tomalty
Reply to  E J Zuiderwijk
June 19, 2019 10:16 am

She should start building her ark now. It will come in handy “when” the icecaps melt and us skeptics all drown in the rising seas .

“In december the United Nations conference of parties, COP25, will be held in Santiago de Chile. And this is pretty much where our future will be decided. ”

Yes our future of either bankruptcy from climate policies or incessant whining about CO2 levels with increasing calls of alarm.

Reply to  Alan Tomalty
June 20, 2019 6:24 am

in DEC when its nice and warm..amazing how they time these gabfests

Reply to  E J Zuiderwijk
June 19, 2019 2:35 pm

I grew up in Chicago and remember seeing this ship:

Viking, the very first Viking ship replica, was built by the Rødsverven shipyard in Sandefjord, Norway. In 1893 it sailed across the Atlantic Ocean to Chicago in the United States for the World’s Columbian Exposition. Formerly located in Lincoln Park, Chicago, Illinois, the Viking is currently undergoing conservation in Geneva, Illinois, United States.

June 19, 2019 6:12 am

Good lord. Un like the adult greens, the silly little girl might actually believe the garbage she is preaching.

Reply to  Hasbeen
June 19, 2019 6:29 am

She does. Actually does.

Having said that, most adult ‘greens’ do too.

the difference, she’s still innocent, the adults a bunch of slackers that could have educated themselves now and developed some life skills like skepticism.

Kerry Eubanks
Reply to  Hasbeen
June 19, 2019 7:10 am

She’ll grow out of that soon enough I’m guessing. Some of her “adult” travelers will explain how just SOME “anticlimate” activities are perfectly justifiable when you are saving the entire world.

Reply to  Hasbeen
June 19, 2019 7:35 am

She is far too ignorant to realize how shamefully she is being used (as are most alarmists).
Eventually her innocence will become an ever weakening excuse for her behavior.

R Shearer
Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 7:56 am

She suffers from mental challenges and is suicidal. That makes her words ring true to the leftists.

Reply to  Hasbeen
June 19, 2019 7:36 am

Yes. Three cheers for Greta. We should all have the humility to accept the fact that we are wrong in some of our beliefs. We should respect the fact that others can also be wrong without being evil as a result. So, if Greta is willing to live according to her beliefs, more power to her.

What is not acceptable is to lie and cook data to bolster whatever case you’re trying to make. People who do that are evil. And then there are the garden variety hypocrites like the government of British Columbia (BC) which tries to block Alberta’s pipeline to tide water but then squeals like a stuck pig when Alberta threatens to turn off the taps on petroleum exports to BC. link Those people are evil, Greta is not. She’s just wrong.

Reply to  commieBob
June 19, 2019 8:42 am

Well said Bob

Reply to  PaulS
June 19, 2019 8:55 am

You gotta give the misguided kid credit for wanting to do the ethical approach

Reply to  PaulS
June 19, 2019 10:30 am

But Bob claims to be a communist? How are any of his comments credible. Greta is being used by adults. She is enjoying the limelight and the money her parents are receiving for her being used as a front.

Reply to  Edith Wenzel
June 19, 2019 11:30 am

From the perspective of many of the posters on this blog, I look like a commie.

From the perspective of the postmodern neo-Marxist SJWs, I look like alt-right.

What you see depends on where you stand.

Reply to  ResourceGuy
June 19, 2019 10:37 am

There is an election coming in October.

John the Econ
Reply to  Hasbeen
June 19, 2019 7:54 am

Some day she is going to learn the awful truth that the whole climate change agenda is really just a political mechanism to control the behavior of people that Progressives do not like.

If you think she is depressed now…

Reply to  Hasbeen
June 19, 2019 8:25 am

One of the features of the condition Greta suffers from, is an inability to understand deceit, or that anyone could see things differently . If the sufferer sees the biscuits put in the top drawer, they can’t understand that anyone else would think they were in the bottom drawer, even if the other person had left the room before the biscuits were moved. So yes, she really does believe it.
Climate change is a much more abstract idea than the location of biscuits, but the people she relies on have told it’s real, and she trusts them, and has no way to independently verify the ideas, partly because of her trust, and partly because of the way her brain works once an idea takes hold.
The problem lies with the media, and her parents who have thrust her into the public eye.
She’s being deliberately used, and it’s a disgrace.
Stick a fit adult bloke up as a spokesman for whatever, and the picking apart of his propositions will start, and the opponents will not be kind.
Put a mentally disabled girl in front, and you have a shield. Full-house criticism is simply not permitted. ‘How cruel’ , ‘she’s just a child’, how could you attack an autistic girl’ , etc..
The ploy to use her is utterly cynical and designed to deflect all criticism around the CAGW/CACC hypotheses.
The people organising this are beneath contempt.

Reply to  sonofametman
June 19, 2019 9:14 am


Gerald Machnee
Reply to  sonofametman
June 19, 2019 9:22 am

I thought you were referring to the Environment Minister in Canada.

Tom Gelsthorpe
Reply to  sonofametman
June 19, 2019 9:29 am

Well said.

Carl Friis-Hansen
Reply to  sonofametman
June 19, 2019 10:37 am

So very true. Shame on her parents, in particular.

paul courtney
Reply to  sonofametman
June 19, 2019 12:37 pm

The obvious response for skeptics would be to find an autistic child on OUR side and put her or him out front for the pressers. But you don’t see that behavior from skeptics. Telling, no?

Reply to  sonofametman
June 20, 2019 9:25 am

Toby Young a British journalist has got himself into trouble criticising Greta Thunberg. He has corrected, on social media, a statistical error made by her (or in truth by her minders) and another claim that the West is doing nothing about the supposed climate emergency and further suggested that she is privileged. The usual suspects have of course gone for Toby Young on the grounds that she is beyond criticism as she is only 16 years of age. The green blob seem to be using her as a ‘human shield’ i.e beyond criticism.

June 19, 2019 6:13 am

Virtual Reality meetings would be the most elegant solution. Virtualization of data is the future. If greenies truly want to display complex systems and keep their footprint minimal, they can go virtual in just about every aspect of life. A virtual rig takes only a few amps to run. There are a lot of Hydrocarbons spent in making HMDs, computers, signal etc. but surely not nearly as much as boondoggles. Besides, these guys love to live in their data, why not truly walk the talk?

June 19, 2019 6:14 am

Maybe she can invite her friends to a viewing of Ice Age II.

Clarky of Oz
June 19, 2019 6:14 am

We have the appropriate vessel right here in Australia. A barbed wire canoe without a paddle. Most often used for travelling upstream in a certain creek.

Clarky of Oz
Reply to  Clarky of Oz
June 19, 2019 8:19 pm


I just remembered barbed wire is made from iron, and nasty, black, dirty, carbonaceous, coal stuff is used in its manufacture. I guess she could use a substitute like blackberry vines.

John Schwartz
June 19, 2019 6:15 am


And, take your time…

June 19, 2019 6:16 am

I would suggest booking a low-cost ticket on a sea going oil tanker……in the Gulf of Oman. Don’t forget to pack a veil.

Reply to  ResourceGuy
June 19, 2019 8:03 am

She could also find a “repositioning” cruise. Cruise lines seasonally move ships from one locale to another to maximize revenue and reduce weather-related risks. These ships usually reposition half-empty so her footprint would be minimized… at least one way.

Do the “greenies” schedule conferences to take advantage of such underutilized resources? What do they look like, farmers?

June 19, 2019 6:17 am

She’ll need strong legs & alot of power-drinks:

June 19, 2019 6:18 am

Child abuse by her parents.

Reply to  Simon
June 19, 2019 10:27 am

…. yeah her mother could lend her her broomstick.

Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 6:18 am

I doubt whether WUWT regulars will need reminding of the exploits of Dr Alain Bombard – they are a well-educated bunch!

But for the benefit of occasional viewers, Dr Bombard, in the course of research into survivability at sea for shipwrecked sailors, drifted across the Atlantic in a liferaft, surviving on what food and drink he could obtain on the way. Netted plankton and juices from squeezed fish figured large in his diet. I think it took him about 3 months….

Surely this would be a good introduction to nature as it actually is for environmentalists?

Allan Short
June 19, 2019 6:19 am

How about a Viking Long Ship?

John Bell
June 19, 2019 6:20 am

Dug out canoe and bamboo bicycle, and by foot.

Norman Blanton
June 19, 2019 6:25 am

Is swimming out of the question…

I read about somebody crossing the Atlantic in a barrel.

I guess steerage class on a liner is out of the question.

Could she work her way across on a freighter, not sure what cargo she would be okay with, maybe solar cells from China.

June 19, 2019 6:25 am

Whatever she chooses she is unlikely to find anything causing less CO2 per passenger and mile than a economy class seat on a B747 or A380 unless she can hitch-hike on a tanker or a container-ship, but I am uncertain whether they are allowed to carry passengers. There are plenty of transatlantic cruises, but they use more fuel per passenger mile than aircraft. Possibly she can find somebody taking a sailing-yacht across that is willing to take her along.

Getting from NY to Santiago by land won’t be that easy either. There is the Darien Gap and a few of the intervening countries can also be rather dicey to travel in, particularly for a teenage girl who doesn’t speak spanish. Though undoubtedly some billionaire can sponsor a couple of interpeters/bodyguards and 4WD’s as needed.

John Tillman
Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 7:34 am

The Darien Gap remains dangerous. A Swedish backpacker was killed in it by FARC narco-Marxists in 2013. The narcotraficantes mistook him for a spy. Despite the supposed Colombia-wide surrender of the narcos, they remain in the Gap, still backed by Venezuela, as FARC has been since Hugo.

Little Greta could perhaps survive the Gap by avoiding it by sea in a sailboat or canoe from Panama to Colombia. There used to be a ferry from the Caribbean coast of Panama to Colombia.

Environmentalists have kept the highway from being extended across the Gap, but also concerns over the spread of hoof and mouth disease from South America to North. The indigenous Indian tribes also oppose a road. African would-be illegal immigrants to the US fly to Ecuador, which has liberal visa laws, enter Colombia, then use the gap to sneak into Panama. Apparently FARC knows they couldn’t pay kidnap ransoms.

Trains are powered by diesel, so after sailing or rowing across the Atlantic, she’ll have to walk or bicycle to Panama from NYC, then again from Colombia to Chile. I guess maybe she could hitchhike without violating the tenets of her religion.

Of course her food and clothing are also due to fossil fuels. Plus shelter and heating and cooling.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  John Tillman
June 19, 2019 9:57 am

John Tillman
“… she’ll have to walk or bicycle …”
Bicycles are made with the consumption of a lot of fossil fuels!

John Tillman
Reply to  Clyde Spencer
June 19, 2019 12:17 pm

It would be a balsa wood bicycle, with tires of natural rubber, vulcanized with wood fire (I know, more CO2!) and transported by clipper ship.

Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 8:15 am

People have bicycled from California and points North to Chile. She can sail from the UK (in a wooden boat as mentioned above), travel on foot or horseback to California and bicycle from there on. She must make sure that there are no carbon fiber components on her bike, nor plastic in the saddle and handle bar grips or cushioning. Actually, the sail boat must use canvas sails, not mylar or dacron, no ferrous metals in the fastenings, etc, etc. In this way she might gain an appreciation for the benefits of a modern society that exists because of affordable and reliable energy.

She must dispose of her smart or cell phone, too.

Reply to  RayG
June 19, 2019 9:34 am

…and go naked without artificial heating.

Clyde Spencer
Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 9:50 am

But to be fair, the tanker or container-ship is going to make the trip whether she is present or not. So, the CO2 per passenger isn’t a fair metric.

Reply to  Clyde Spencer
June 19, 2019 12:52 pm

On the other hand that is true for an aircraft as well. Losing Greta as a passenger is hardly likely to lead to cancelling a 747 flight.

Gunga Din
June 19, 2019 6:27 am

Maybe there’s an amphibious Tesla?

Reply to  Gunga Din
June 19, 2019 7:47 am

You’d figure — if they can be space-faring, surely they can swim. Get MI6’s Q working on it.

Reply to  Gunga Din
June 19, 2019 9:03 am

Where there’s a will there’s a tax credit for that.

Reply to  Gunga Din
June 19, 2019 12:07 pm

The batteries powering a transatlantic journey would have to be brought along by a huge cargo ship though.

Alan the Brit
June 19, 2019 6:28 am

I have just found two UK pennies in my trouser pockets, she’s welcome to them, although she’d have to collect them herself or perhaps one of her helpers could hop on to a Business Class flight & collect them for her! 😉

Richard of NZ
Reply to  Alan the Brit
June 19, 2019 9:27 am

Old or new pennies? I would doubt that the helpers could accept old pennies because of the waste of resources due to their size.

Reply to  Alan the Brit
June 19, 2019 10:22 pm

I think I have a spare carbon credit around here somewhere.

June 19, 2019 6:29 am

Row, row, row her boat.

Gunga Din
June 19, 2019 6:31 am

A “Flower Powered” kayak?

John Collis
June 19, 2019 6:32 am

Why does she need to go in person?
Why does she want to go in person?
The more important question is why is it necessary for these conferences to be held in different countries? They should be teleconferencing but then they couldn’t pat themselves on the back.
She could catch the train as far north as possible, canoe or walk across the Arctic circle (or flag down a friendly, cuddly polar bear or walrus if there are any left of course) to Canada, walk to a suitable city to catch a train to New York. Catch bus or train south to Mexico, bus or train across Mexico and other South American countries to Chile. Of course she would have to miss 3 months school to do this.

Reply to  John Collis
June 19, 2019 10:41 am

“… why is it necessary for these conferences to be held in different countries.” It is the United Nations, and they have to spread the wealth.

Rhys Jaggar
Reply to  Retired_Engineer_Jim
June 19, 2019 2:16 pm

Perhaps she could ask Boris to give her a ride on our aircraft-carrier-without-aircraft, as it has already been on diplomatic manoeuvres off New York once?

Then there were some Scots who cycled from USA to Argentina for the 1978 World Cup, which was a bit of a let down after all the effort they made to get there, so they will probably now be wizened old grandads who can advise on cycling from NYC to Santiago, if there is enough time for her to do that….

I guess if there are any sailors in training for the Vendee Globe, they could get her to New York, but sailing round Cape Horn might be a bit rough way of reaching Santiago and rather a detour compared to being a stowaway on some commercial ship using the Panama canal.

Any balloonists prepared to give her a ride? Branson is always up for a bit of publicity, after all….

John Tillman
Reply to  Rhys Jaggar
June 20, 2019 8:10 am

Even hot air balloons require propane, unless she can find a wood-burning one. But even that would release a lot of CO2.

Reply to  John Collis
June 19, 2019 12:12 pm

It’s a carreer move by herself or the people who manage her. She found an unlikely niche to make money on, and the only way to keep that model afloat is by remaining in the media focus. She’s done Europe, and given that she says the same things over and over the interest here is waning. America is still unchartered, so that’s where she’s headed.

June 19, 2019 6:33 am

This is the least of her problems. There is the “Meadow” problems she needs to address.

Without fossil fuels It takes 10 men to mow a meadow and probably half a meadow to feed them. A wind turbine needs a meadow or two to produce the energy required.
Maybe she should think about that with the song ringing in her ears.
Sorry don’t have accurate figures here.

June 19, 2019 6:34 am

Row, row, row your boat
Gently cross the ocean
Clean green clean green
Life is carbon free

Reply to  John Mount
June 20, 2019 12:33 am

Rowing is in no way carbon free. Humans are inefficient engines, putting out 15 times rest CO2 under heavy load.

June 19, 2019 6:34 am

There are a few tall ships in working order still out there.

Or she could look for someone with a sailing yacht to take her to New York.

June 19, 2019 6:35 am


Reply to  Photios
June 19, 2019 7:41 am

Would work to get back. To get from Sweden to/i> NY by balloon you must cross the Pacific. Doable, but not simple.

Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 2:25 pm

It would keep her out of mischief for a while.

Greg Cavanagh
Reply to  tty
June 20, 2019 2:37 pm

Perhaps this is a good reason to bring back the zeppelins.

Reply to  Greg Cavanagh
June 20, 2019 4:02 pm

Graf Zeppelin/Hindenburg needed 4800 hp to move 72 passengers (and 40 crew) at a cruise speed of 125 kph (78 mph).

Airships were less efficient than even 1930’s aircraft. Their only point of superiority was range.

As a comparison the Boeing 314 flying boat “Yankee Clipper” needed 6400 hp to move 74 passengers (and 11 crew) at a cruise speed of 302 kph (188 mph)

Reply to  Photios
June 19, 2019 1:09 pm

Yes – plenty of hot air to keep it in the air. Might have to go the wrong way round, though…

June 19, 2019 6:38 am

The focus on the “emission curve” is all part of the shell game, which can be disrupted by focusing on the atmospheric CO2 curve (such as the Mauna Loa data), it is obvious why the actual CO2 data is neglected, because it shows the futility of chasing emission targets, which is what controls the health of the Green Blob.

June 19, 2019 6:42 am

I am actually confused by this. She is not adding anything to the debate. She is not a scientist with new research, an economist with a new model, she has no original ideas about how to solve the problems. She simply parrots what she has been told by those who know (or think they do) far more than her.

So why does she need to go anywhere?

Mumbles McGuirck
Reply to  Phoenix44
June 19, 2019 7:28 am

Because … because …. CLIMATE!

How dare you question her right to virtue signal so the whole world can see! You lack vision, certainly you lack the vision to see CO2.

Reply to  Phoenix44
June 19, 2019 7:46 am

She is desperately needed so she can use her special powers to spot the CO2 clouds and allow other conference goers to avoid exposure.

Gerald Machnee
Reply to  Phoenix44
June 19, 2019 9:26 am

Same reason as the other non scientists and politicians. To tell us dummies what to do.

Reply to  Phoenix44
June 19, 2019 5:13 pm

And the LORD went before Greta by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead them in the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give them light; to go by day and night.

steve case
June 19, 2019 6:45 am

She can smile. I wonder if Abigail Williams smiled much?

Reply to  steve case
June 19, 2019 8:03 am

You call that a smile? That looks to me like someone who knows precisely what she is doing and finds our reaction to her just one big joke. Possibly not but whatever way that expression — even at 16 — would have got me a good smacking. If not from my mother then from my peers!

Reply to  steve case
June 19, 2019 9:38 am

That is a smirk not a smile.
A smirk is a smile evoking insolence, scorn, or offensive smugness.

CJ Fritz
June 19, 2019 6:45 am

The first (and half-way realistic) idea that comes to mind would be by sailboat. Preferably one without any type of FF backup.
By why not think outside the box for a minute? Here’s a few less conventional ideas…
Helium balloon
Paddle boat powered by squirrels
Hot air balloon using Al Gore’s infinite hot air supply

Any other ideas?

Reply to  CJ Fritz
June 19, 2019 8:16 am

Sailing to New York before September is quite feasible. Getting to Santiago by November will be more difficult, but not impossible. The record from NY to San Francisco is about 7 weeks.

Of course it will require chartering an oceangoing yacht with a largish crew for several months to do it, but I guess Steyer or Bloomberg can afford it.

John Tillman
Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 12:23 pm

She would get the opportunity to experience both the North Atlantic hurricane and South Atlantic cyclone seasons.

Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 12:57 pm

Going around the Horn into the Drake Passage is a fairly safe method to experience (non-tropical) hurricane winds any time of the year, though more than Cat 1 is unusual. I’ve succeded twice.

John Tillman
Reply to  tty
June 19, 2019 3:01 pm

The Furious Fifties’ westerlies make it a lot easier to sail in one direction than the other.

June 19, 2019 6:45 am

Ask the adults who influenced this girl. They should know.

Bruce Cobb
June 19, 2019 6:47 am

I have the perfect solution: Visualize a magic carpet, using the same powers you use to “see” CO2. Then, hop on. Simples!

Kurt Linton
Reply to  Bruce Cobb
June 19, 2019 6:54 am

Richard of NZ
Reply to  Kurt Linton
June 19, 2019 9:31 am

That magic carpet required lots of money (Lsd or better known as pounds shillings and pence).

June 19, 2019 6:48 am

Perhaps she could swim or better yet, Just stay in school!

June 19, 2019 6:54 am

Dirigibles filled with hydrogen will be what is used in the future. They will have giant solar arrays on their roofs to power the propellers.

Tom in Florida
Reply to  xenomoly
June 19, 2019 8:10 am

Oh the humanity!

John Tillman
Reply to  xenomoly
June 19, 2019 3:55 pm

Helium, for safety.

A solar-powered dirigible is the answer to Greta’s prayers to Gaia. Never mind the environmental costs of building such a dragon.

The Chinese Communists should offer her rides to and from the Big Apple and the Big Carmenere Grape on the beast, since she is such a useful tool serving their interests.

John Tillman
Reply to  xenomoly
June 19, 2019 4:04 pm
John Tillman
Reply to  xenomoly
June 19, 2019 4:07 pm

Time to spare?

Go by (lighter than) air!

OK for cargo. For passengers, not so much, unless maybe the cruise ship trade.

June 19, 2019 6:54 am

Well, let’s say she braves the North and South Atlantic (and Cape Horn) in a sailboat, she’s still attending conferences populated by hypocrites who have arrived by plane, commercial and, even worse, private (Al Gore, Leo, Prince Charles, etc.).

Claude Roessiger
June 19, 2019 7:03 am

Greta Thunberg is, by her mother’s own declaration, an emotionally fragile child. It doesn’t explain her parents using her as she is being used, or allowing it. A remote analogy may be found in Joan of Arc, save that she did end up at the head of the armies of France. Later things went less well for her, but we do not wish that fate for Greta, only that she might be allowed to grow up.
As to getting her to these theatrical conferences, there is no solution witty or practical. This, in an adult, should be compelling: a problem without a solution suggests that the problem has been misunderstood.

H.I. McDonnough
June 19, 2019 7:04 am

She can always sail there. There’s got to be a longboat in Sweden somewhere.

June 19, 2019 7:09 am

Astrial projection.

Reply to  Cube
June 19, 2019 8:59 am

Dammit. You took my idea. Before anyone poo-poo’s this idea, think about it. Astral projection is just as real as the climate emergency.

June 19, 2019 7:10 am

Buy some ruby red slippers and tap your heels together 3 times, Greta. The big advantage in this is you don’t smell CO2 while you’re traveling.

Okay, enough silliness. Just find the nearest wormholes that connect to the conferences and hop in. Simples.

June 19, 2019 7:15 am


Clay Sanborn
June 19, 2019 7:16 am

Remember 1971 EST – Hey, maybe it would cool her untenable concern with CO2 too.

Tom Gelsthorpe
June 19, 2019 7:21 am

Turning this sad girl into a modern-day Joan of Arc is child abuse. Her growth is stunted by lifelong anorexia. She parrots doomsday scenarios and the media echo chamber parrots them back to bolster their Luddite agenda. The real scandal here is not carbon dioxide, but say-anything, do-anything fanaticism in service to a crackpot cause.

Richard of NZ
Reply to  Tom Gelsthorpe
June 19, 2019 9:34 am

Don’t forget the fate of Joan of Arc, burned at the stake for heresy.

Tom Gelsthorpe
Reply to  Richard of NZ
June 19, 2019 11:09 am

I fear a grisly fate for Greta. What if she says someday, “Uh, I grew up. Now I realize the crackpot schemes of my youth were a lot of hooey. Got my driver’s license, swell hubby, moved to the burbs; am much happier now.”

“Heresy” might be a mild term compared to what the climate True Believers use against her.

June 19, 2019 7:26 am

Having set aside the eminently sensible idea of Skyping or teleconferencing, Greta Thunberg might be able to cross from Europe to America in winter via the ice packs around the Arctic. Extra warm clothing would be advised.

Mumbles McGuirck
June 19, 2019 7:26 am

Giant slingshot.

It worked for Wile E. Coyote … sort of.

Tom Abbott
June 19, 2019 7:37 am

Greta might as well fly. The airplane is going that way anyway whether she is onboard or not.

Reply to  Tom Abbott
June 19, 2019 9:45 am

Well, interestingly adding payload onto a airplane actually increases its fuel consumption. Oddly it takes energy to keep mass aloft and fight gravity.

Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 12:30 pm

No, keeping mass aloft takes no energy at all, otherwhise your cupboard would require a mains plug to keep your vases on its shelves. Planes need energy for ghree purposes: 1 To lift the mass of itself, passengers and cargo up to its flight level, 2 to overcome friction with the surrounding air, 3 For heating the inflight meals. 1. Is actually regained during descent, but currently it’s not put to any use, just heating up the plane’s hull.

Reply to  Rocketscientist
June 19, 2019 1:19 pm

“No, keeping mass aloft takes no energy at all”

It does for heavier-than-air aircraft which do it by deflecting the airstream downward. This is known as “induced drag”, and there is no way to avoid it or getting it back.

John M
June 19, 2019 7:44 am

Just hop onto Leonardo DiCaprio’s private jet or yacht. Those are going to make the trip either way, so no net gain in emissions.

Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 7:45 am

I’m guessing that she will fly like any sane person, but then arrange for ‘carbon credits’ to be used to ‘offset’ the ‘carbon costs’.

In other words, she will fly, and then use some mystic green excuse to increase taxes in her homeland to ensure that she, and those like her, can continue to sponge off the state…

Rich Davis
Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 10:37 am

Finally…somebody gets the right answer. She will agonize about it endlessly and send out a billion virtue signals. Then she will just board the airplane.

Reply to  Rich Davis
June 19, 2019 12:34 pm

Apparently Greta and her mother suffer from aviophobia, so it’s unlikely she’ll board a plane any time soon. The fact that both of their psychological conditions coincide with their ideology comes in very handy …or maybe it’s not a coincidence after all.

Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
June 19, 2019 2:38 pm

That’s what I came up with too, Dodgy. She will fly. She will rationalize that CO2 produced by flying doesn’t cause warming if someone pays the appropriate indulgences to expiate the sin.

tim wells
Reply to  Dodgy Geezer
June 23, 2019 4:39 am

There are different kinds of carbon credits. There are the ‘standard’ kind which you and I have to pay through the nose for, and then there are the ‘saving the world’ kind which come at a substantial discount to the tireless, unheralded benefactors of humanity.

June 19, 2019 7:45 am

Interestingly, the evil oil and gas business, has whole heartedly adopted teleconferencing due to the inconvenience of travelling from the field to their head office.

Reply to  DMacKenzie
June 19, 2019 8:33 am

That was being funding as far back as the 1980s with microwave networks to control the wells. A lot of EEs were hired for that back then.

Reply to  DMacKenzie
June 19, 2019 5:29 pm

No hotel, shopping or Jacuzzi? That’s not much of a Junket mate.

James in WNC
June 19, 2019 7:47 am

Oceanvolt is a Finnish company that makes electric motors for boats with various accessories. She should approach them. There is symbolic synergy at play. Wind and solar at sea. Greta on the bow with the wind in her hair.

Scandinavia is perhaps the center of “green ideology”. It’s a perfect pairing. Get Nat Geo to sponsor and let the Propaganda set sail.

John Bell
June 19, 2019 7:49 am

She should fly by private jet and on the way stop at big cities and preach the climate cause and take her hypocrisy to a new level – unhinged.

June 19, 2019 7:49 am

STX Europe announced plans for a Cruise Ship Powered by Wind and Solar Energy (2015 – 2020).

But they appear to have gone out of business.

June 19, 2019 7:52 am

Fly standby in coach, the plane would fly anyway no mater if she was there or not…

June 19, 2019 7:56 am

…and if the Gaians can’t solve a simple problem like Greta’s dilemma, how will they ever solve the much bigger and more complex problems they’ve imagined? Physician, heal thyself!

June 19, 2019 7:58 am

Remember to take the shortcut through the mountains of Iran and Afghanistan.

June 19, 2019 8:06 am

This could turn into an interesting exercise. How many millions and how many tons of CO2 will it take to move Greta to NY and Santiago and then back to Sweden without using aircraft?

And how many years would it take to do it without using fossil fuel?

RIchard Ilfeld
June 19, 2019 8:06 am

The Marjoe Goitner of climate will grow up, and probably be of little interest.
Actually, the green’s need for a woke child evangelist is amusing in it’s own right….
as she is clearly a preacher & note s scientist. Of course, I could be wrong, in which case there
needs to be a place beside Joan of Arc in the history books.

Are we really worried about how a popularized woke teen will get to a climate conference?

Is there any chance the meeting will be more significant than the next iteration of the flat earth society?

June 19, 2019 8:25 am

Okay, strap a saddle on the man bear pig and ride him to the conference.

June 19, 2019 8:25 am

Makes you feel a little sorry for Greta, who doesn’t have the full mental capacity to figure this all out. With Greta being such a good example by expressing her disapproval for flying, you would think Al Gore would really feel like a heel for arriving in his private jet. Maybe he could give her a lift since his plane is going anyway, and another 40-50 Kg won’t add hardly anymore CO2. What a mess they have made out of all this stupidity. They all look like clueless morons.

Reply to  Earthling2
June 19, 2019 9:48 am

She has the full mental capacity for Hollywood and also the book circuit like Bernie. Her only mistake will be in not jumping on the opportunities while the free advertising lasts.

Rich Davis
Reply to  Earthling2
June 19, 2019 10:39 am

“They all look like clueless morons.”

Your vision seems to be intact

Bruce Cobb
June 19, 2019 8:30 am

Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Waving both arms wildly. Here’s what she should do: Have a lifesize (or bigger) picture of her done, and a cardboard cutout made. Then, do some recordings of her “thoughts” on the “climate emergency”, what needs to be done immediately etc., and have those items shipped to the conferences. Her likeness, along with those recordings would be a hit, I guarantee it, probably moving many to tears. She’d be like a godess.

Reply to  Bruce Cobb
June 19, 2019 9:02 am

Great idea, except – one has to make the likeness, and the recording, without generating any CO2 (or carbon). And then ship them to the venues without using any CO2 (or carbon). And then dispose of them, or return them and dispose of them, without using any CO2.

It really is an insidious problem.

June 19, 2019 8:39 am

Cognisant no doubt of the laugh fest created by Ms Thompsons aeronautically enabled brief visit to the London ‘Protests’, this would be an attempt to head such criticism off at the pass ? But they do seem to be unbothered by the potential argument, when this girl does fly to the events, that the Greentopia will be one in which travel to foreign parts becomes essentially impossible. Its likely however that supporters of little Greta will take comfort from the fact that Greentopia is not likely to become a reality in the near future, or indeed their remaining time on the planet, so limited travel opportunities are not something that will affect them 🙂

June 19, 2019 8:45 am

…and don’t forget the Northwest Passage as a shortcut.

Reply to  ResourceGuy
June 19, 2019 9:06 am

Yes, hasn’t the Arctic been ice-free since 2015?

Mumbles McGuirck
Reply to  ResourceGuy
June 19, 2019 9:23 am

Yes, Lord Franklin used sailing vessels. And that worked out so well. 🙂

John Tillman
Reply to  Mumbles McGuirck
June 19, 2019 10:14 am

Had he survived, Sir John might have been elevated to lordship, but he died a mere knight.

This would be a suitable craft and route for Greta’s Excellent Adventure:

She could get to Ireland by longship, but the Danish crew, including women, which did so, used power to cross much of the North Sea, rather than sail or oar.

June 19, 2019 8:54 am

Plant 12 acres of new forest to “offset” her flight. Then enjoy a first class passage with a clear “conscience”. Isn’t THAT what all the climate elites do?

Reply to  Kenji
June 19, 2019 10:02 am

I expect some do-gooder environmentalist with deep pockets will purchase the offsets for her. Suzuki, Neil Young, whoever. Rest assured, she’ll be there.

There’s a whole lot of Munchausen-by-proxy going on in this poor young woman’s life.

John Tillman
June 19, 2019 8:54 am

Why are these conferences never in Ouagadougou? Or someplace even hotter?

Mumbles McGuirck
Reply to  John Tillman
June 19, 2019 11:01 am

Silly rabbit. You can’t get fresh Chilean sea bass in Ouagadougou. What do you expect the well-paid delegates to eat? Zebra meat??

John Tillman
Reply to  Mumbles McGuirck
June 19, 2019 11:59 am
Johann Wundersamer
June 19, 2019 8:56 am

Noten für Klimaaktivistin18.06.19 10:18

DAS steht in Greta Thunbergs Zeugnis:

Greta Thunberg wurde für ihr Fernbleiben vom Unterricht stark kritisiert. DAS steht in ihrem Zeugnis.

Erst vor Kurzem verkündete die schwedische Klimaaktivistin Greta Thunberg, dass sie nach diesem Sommer ein Jahr lang nicht zur Schule gehen wird. Dafür hagelte es vor allem online in den sozialen Netzwerken harsche Kritik. Sie würde ihre Ausbildung nicht ernst genug nehmen, wenn sie jeden Freitag für “Fridays for Future” dem Unterricht fernbleibt.

Schwere Entscheidung Thunbergs

Der Entschluss sei ihr zwar schwer gefallen, es sei aber klar, dass im Kampf für das Klima gerade jetzt etwas passieren müsse: “Im Jahr 2020 müssen wir die Emissionskurve steil nach unten gewendet haben, wenn wir eine Chance haben wollen, unter 1,5 oder 2 Grad Erwärmung zu bleiben.”

Zeugnis mit Bestnoten

Jetzt nimmt die Klimaaktivistin ihren Kritikern den Wind aus den Segeln, denn ihr Zeugnis verrät: Sie hat den Unterricht niemals vernachlässigt und beendet das Schuljahr mit ausgezeichneten Noten. Die schwedische Zeitung “Dagens Nyheter” berichtete, dass Thunberg in 14 von 17 Fächern die Bestnote “A” erhielt. Zu den Fächern mit ausgezeichneter Leistung gehören unter anderem Mathematik, Englisch, Französisch und Physik. Nur in den Fächern Schwedisch, Sport und Verbraucherkunde schloss die 16-Jährige mit einem “B” ab.

Ein Jahr Schul-Auszeit für Kampf gegen Klimakrise

Die 16-Jährige will sich nach dem Abschluss der neunten Klasse ganz auf ihren Kampf gegen die Klimakrise konzentrieren. Im September wolle sie am Klimagipfel der Vereinten Nationen in New York teilnehmen, im Dezember dann an der Weltklimakonferenz in Santiago de Chile.

Um ihre Schulzeit mache sie sich keine Sorgen, sagte Thunberg. Sie werde einfach ein Jahr später aufs Gymnasium wechseln. Normalerweise stünde für die junge Schwedin im August der Wechsel auf eine weiterführende Schule an. In den ersten neun Jahren gilt nämlich die Schulpflicht.



Certificate with top marks

Now the climate activist takes the wind out of the sails of her critics, as her testimony reveals: She has never neglected the class and finished the school year with excellent grades.

The Swedish newspaper “Dagens Nyheter” reported that Thunberg received the top grade “A” in 14 out of 17 subjects. The subjects with excellent performance include mathematics, English, French and physics. Only in the subjects Swedish, sports and consumer, the 16-year-old finished with a “B”.

One year school break for fight against climate crisis:

The 16-year-old wants to concentrate after the conclusion of the ninth grade entirely on their fight against the climate crisis. In September, she wanted to attend the United Nations Climate Change Summit in New York, and in December, she would attend the World Climate Change Conference in Santiago de Chile.

She doesn’t worry about her school days, said Thunberg. She’ll just go to high school one year later. Normally, for the young Swede in August would be the change to a secondary school. In the first nine years compulsory education is valid.


Must be great for a 16 year old to enjoy higher education – and have money for a sabbatical + flying to diverse conferences. Sweet little sixteen.

Don’t think she’s lying sleepless at night, in sorrow of the year 2013 world catastrophe.

June 19, 2019 8:59 am

I’ve got a johnboat and some oars she can borrow.

June 19, 2019 9:00 am

Just use a cardboard prop of Greta at the conferences and charge people for having their picture made next to it. Be sure and charge the oil exec attendee 10x for the virtue signaling exposure–the shareholders won’t mind.

June 19, 2019 9:09 am

… dolphins and a pair of water skis.

Oh, but she would need sunscreen, scheduled stops for eating and personal maintenance, and a pair of specially designed sunglasses that also blocked out her ability to see all that CO2 slamming into her face, as she skimmed across the vast and turbulent sea.

Poor Gretta — now she has become a subject of my ridicule, and it’s NOT her fault. The adults who back her and encourage her should be ashamed of putting her in this position.

June 19, 2019 9:13 am

Can’t she CO2 fly with her plaits ?

Gerald Machnee
June 19, 2019 9:28 am

You mean Gore has not offered to pick her up??

dodgy geezer
June 19, 2019 9:29 am

There ARE plans in existence for a transatlantic tunnel.

It would be a tube moored a few hundred feet down and anchored to the bottom. I wonder how long it would take to cycle across…?

The Depraved and MOST Deplorable Vlad the Impaler
June 19, 2019 9:38 am

Well, as long as no fossil fuels are used for any portion of the following, my suggestion is this:

Construct some form of wooden long boat, similar to the ancient Viking boats, include a place for shelter from the elements and such. Mind you, the wood must NOT be cut using anything but human elbow grease, or assembled with any materials (nails, screws, … ) which had to be mined, or fabricated in any factory, which used fossil-fuel power to create what is used. Oh, and while we’re at it, we cannot cut down any living tree; we can ONLY use those which have already given up the ghost, as it were.

Any treatment (waterproofing?) of the wood must use only natural materials available within walking distance of the construction site.

Equip this boat with sails (only naturally-occurring materials, mind you!) for when wind is available as motive force, AND create a mechanical ‘bicycle’-type pedal system, driving dual counter-rotating propellers in the stern, for those times the wind is minimal or less; the advantage of this system is that it can also drive a generator, connected to a set of batteries (reminder: none of this stuff can come from fossil-fueled fabrication facilities; it either has to be completely hand-made from start to finish, or it cannot be used in Greta’s craft … ) which can run the night-time running lights (we would NOT want to meet a freighter or ice berg at an inconvenient time, would we?), the GPS navigator/autopilot, the electric cooking and fresh-water systems, the weather and collision-avoidance radar systems, sump/bilge systems, and so on.

Now, once that’s all done, we launch from Scandinavia, sail to and through the Panama Canal, down the west coast of South American, and viola!!!! there we are, attending the conference … … … …

… … … about thirty years or so AFTER the conference has wrapped up.

OK, I did NOT say it was a fool-proof plan. I just said it was a way to get there without having a carbon footprint … … … …

… … … since she’s so concerned about having ‘too much carbon dioxide’ in the atmosphere.

Disclaimer: no electrons were harmed during the typing and posting of this narrative. All typing was monitored by PETE (People for the Ethical Treatment of Electrons) and is certified that the author is completely certifyable. Donations to your local mental health society will be appreciated (donations directly to my beer fund will be even MORE appreciated … … … )

Reply to  The Depraved and MOST Deplorable Vlad the Impaler
June 19, 2019 10:53 am


Cutting down the trees (dead as they already are) and working the wood would require axes and adzes. The axe heads and adze heads are metal made by a blacksmith in a forge, fired with fossil fuels. Any suggested alternatives? (:-))

Reply to  Retired_Engineer_Jim
June 19, 2019 1:25 pm

I don’t know if Sweden has flints. Less malleable than metal, obviously, but widely available in Southern England, and much of France. And, doubtless, elsewhere.
And rather prone to blunting. But flints would do the job, in time.

A [very] small number of merchant ships do carry passengers in addition to the cargo – mostly containers – they make money from carrying.
They will go where the boxes are supposed to go – not where the passenger [be she ever so famous] would like to go.
The addition of one [smallish] human, compared with the multi-ten-thousand-tonne load of ship and cargo, will add a negligible, even incalculable, amount of extra CO2, from extra diesel burnt.
Further progress could be by bicycle, of course.

As noted above, her best bet would be to thumb a lift on a private jet – they will be enough SJWs who will travel, needing to be seen . . .


June 19, 2019 9:53 am

Got me what she thinks is going to be decided at COP25 the rules except article 6 are basically set in stone. Countries are supposed to submit new NDC’s with more meaningful pledges (LOL). Emissions will increase by abut 4% for the year and we should touch 420 ppm by around conference time.

June 19, 2019 10:01 am


It’s probably on her computer.

Moderately Cross of East Anglia
June 19, 2019 10:14 am

You are all forgetting karmic flying, that should do the job nicely.

No point swimming as she is unlikely to be able to equal the John Stonehouse world distance swimming record.

One day the people exploiting this poor child will be known for what they really. Sadly the Nobel Committee look likely to join the circus and diminish the already damaged value of their awards.

tim wells
Reply to  Moderately Cross of East Anglia
June 23, 2019 4:08 am

Her mother is a complete nutcase.

Right-Handed Shark
June 19, 2019 11:03 am

Come on, people.. you’re not taking this seriously. If she sprinkles fairy dust on her unicorn it can fly. I thought everybody knew that.

Reply to  Right-Handed Shark
June 19, 2019 12:37 pm

Tornado one way, follow the yellow brick road with the munchkins, tin man, scarecrow and lion to see the wizard, ruby slippers to return

June 19, 2019 11:18 am

Phileas Fogg was capable of circumnavigating the world in less than 80 days in 1873 without taking a single plane*. Do you mean that super Greta can’t do better than a mere man (although a British one) of the 19th century?

She would miss some school but that doesn’t appear to be an issue to her. She already knows everything she needs to know.

(*) Note: Jules Verne researched his books quite well so the feat was possible then. The trip was made in 72 days by Nellie Bly in 1889, and in 54 days by James Willis Sayre in 1903. It was repeated without taking a plane in 1989 by Michael Palin in 72 days, and by bicycle in 2017 in 78 days by Mark Beaumont. Clearly Greta is not as committed as many believe.

John Tillman
Reply to  Javier
June 19, 2019 12:47 pm

Bly relied on steamships and railroads burning coal.

Sayre of Seattle used public transportation:

In 2002, Steve Fossett went around the world solo by hot air balloon in under 15 days:

But that was in the Southern Hemisphere. Same for this record setting Russian priest in 2016:

The first non-stop circumnavigation was however in the NH during 1999:

Maybe Breitling would sponsor Greta from Sweden to NYC, thence to Chile and back to Sweden. She’d be the first to cross the Equator while circumnavigating. Her balloon might however need to be dirigible, perhaps with a solar and wind-powered electric motor.

Reply to  Javier
June 19, 2019 1:03 pm

Though they did it by (stem-powered) trains and (steam-powered) liners that produced lots of CO2, probably more per passenger-mile than a modern aircraft.

The liners don’t exist any more, and many of the railways don’t carry passengers any longer.

If ferries are permissible in addition to railways it is easy to get as far west as Iceland/Ireland and as far east as Japan but then…

June 19, 2019 11:45 am

She can ask to be towed by a merchant ship in a wooden bathtub of Scandinavian design (like they use in Finnish Saunas), by rope, kindly supplied by the Stockholm Museum. – Easy ! I guess she will leave her iphone at home, and signal the ship by semaphor (signal flags), when she is hungry etc.

Snarling Dolphin
June 19, 2019 11:58 am

“Get in muh belly ya wee litt-le girrlll!” Al Gore, June 19, 2019.

June 19, 2019 12:02 pm

a pedalo made from wood might be a solution 😉

Michael Ozanne
June 19, 2019 12:03 pm

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Flight Level
June 19, 2019 12:09 pm

Ask Piccard, (SolarImpulse, HB-SIA) to give her a free solar powered airlift ?
No lavatories on this flight.

John Tillman
Reply to  Flight Level
June 19, 2019 1:07 pm

She has the advantage of not weighing much, and could wear an all natural fiber diaper.

Two-seat Solar Impulse 2 however is made of evil carbon fiber. And of course making solar cells and batteries entails environmental disasters.

Flight Level
Reply to  John Tillman
June 19, 2019 5:55 pm

Lol, John Tillman, guess she’ll need a pretty performant diaper the moment this contraption meets some wet weather. What was the wing load already ? Like 5kg/m2, not sure, but around there ?

Therefore the first multi-engine cordless kite.

So, yes, Mr. Piccard, if you read this, get your walkaround and preflight going, there’s pax for you and by what we hear in the trade, you sure need the business, any business.

John Tillman
Reply to  Flight Level
June 20, 2019 2:02 pm

But is she a paying pax?

Even in September the North Atlantic can be pretty windy. Outbound, Solar Impulse 2 would face headwinds most of the way. Then flying her down to Santiago would be get hairy at times, too.

Santiago actually lies over three degrees of longitude east of NYC, but on the most direct heading, ie not quite due south, the flimsy plane would have to deal with the Andes.

Better to go by solar-powered dirigible helium airship. Although producing the He and building the aircraft require fossil fuels. He comes from rock and natural gas deposits. The world was in danger of running out of it, due to wastefulness and increasing demand, even before the current vogue to He blimps and dirigibles.

June 19, 2019 12:10 pm

It’s worse than we thought:
“by the year 2020, next year, the emission curve must have been bended steep downwards if we are to have a chance to stay below 1,5 or 2 degrees of warming.”
What will poor Greta do on 1st January 2021 after she learns that the steep downwards bend did not occur in 2020? Shift the goalposts? At least most of us will be alive to find out.
You have to feel sorry for the girl. She is going to spend most of her life realising that she was totally duped.

June 19, 2019 12:20 pm

I suggest she reads up on what happened to joan of arc. when her ’cause ‘ sold her out in the end .
Fanatic devotion and unquestioning faith in your own superiority , hardly ever ends well .

Me I take a guess it will ‘business class ‘ all the way and plenty of ‘excuses ‘ why she ‘must be there ‘
One issue with those with Autism can be a total and absolute buy-in to an idea that no logic can change . combined with a focus that means they simply cannot see anything else that is of interest .This person has those classic signs, add in hangers on hopping to enjoy the ride , and plenty who are more than happy to use this new fact to further their own ideology , and you got a rather toxic mix .

June 19, 2019 12:39 pm

Mike Mann never had such misgivings. He was more interested in those beach-side drinks with the little parasols in them.

June 19, 2019 12:39 pm

Serious question: “What difference does it make if she attends?”

If all she can bring is emotion-laden, spittle-laced invective, what does it matter?
What can a 16 yo autistic child contribute to a rational discussion of international proportion?

It is only her vanity/ego or ego-vanity of her parents that is pushing her.

Stay home Greta. No one will notice. And the outcome will be unchanged. Or better still, use the money to go to Florida Disney World and just be a kid.

June 19, 2019 12:44 pm

You would think a Swede would have heard of the Viking seafarers.

Old Wifie
June 19, 2019 12:54 pm

Is she too important to take part in a Skype talk or equivalent????? Just asking

June 19, 2019 1:15 pm

Is there anybody on the planet who hasn’t heard what Greta has to say about her religion?

We’ve had 50 years of video-conferencing

Perhaps a holographic Greta – using lots of electricity – is more her style?

Mickey Reno
June 19, 2019 1:26 pm

As fitting her Scandinavian heritage, she should eschew paddling a canoe across the Atlantic, and instead go with a Thor Heyerdahl style approach. She should build a homemade reed raft like Kon-Tiki (the vessel Heyerdahl built and sailed across the Pacific). This would leave Greta well-positioned to offer any number of goofball theories with which to inflame the fears and trigger mechanisms of Progressives everywhere.

June 19, 2019 1:36 pm

Guys. You are really missing the major point here. Remember, Greta can see carbon dioxide. Therefore it is likely that she can just walk to either one. Or in case she is not feeling miraculous, she can time it and walk across the arctic ice from Russia to Canada. At least if there is no ice it would be a short walk or swim.

June 19, 2019 1:41 pm

Laure Dekker sailed singlehandedly around the world at the age of sixteen.

John Tillman
Reply to  Hans Erren
June 19, 2019 3:03 pm

She did however use her engine at times.

June 19, 2019 1:42 pm

Simple really, just saddle up a pig and head for the big apple because , as we all know, pigs can fly. However, the emission savings on jet fuel will be largely offset by the the pig belching and farting.

June 19, 2019 1:45 pm

Put her, her family and her financial backers in a BIG row boat and say “start paddling”….

Alan Haile
June 19, 2019 1:48 pm

Please do not publish any more about that sinister and deluded teenager.

June 19, 2019 1:51 pm

How about Boaty McBoatface?

Reply to  dan
June 19, 2019 5:26 pm

“A Greta’s strength flows from the Farce, but beware of the dark side, anger, fear, aggression – the dark side of the Farce are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a media scrum. If once you start down the dark path forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will!”

June 19, 2019 2:13 pm

The Titanic is boarding now and hopes to set a new speed record with its solar hybrid drive system…..through the ice field.

June 19, 2019 2:19 pm

I think someone should educate her about the life enhancing role CO2 plays in the carbon cycle and how our Earth for most of it’s existence has been warmer and with more CO2 than there is today, and how all these green policies are simply fueling industry in countries that don’t care and giving us extra green house gasses in the process.
… but mostly I don’t think emotive children should be used as pawns for political propaganda.
Shame be on the lot of them!

Rob Leviston
June 19, 2019 2:24 pm

Continue with the virtual signalling! Catch an ‘lectric Uber drone! Got range anxiety?

Flight Level
Reply to  Rob Leviston
June 19, 2019 5:59 pm

A good friend of mine says, fear can be experienced only by creatures with a serviceable brain.

June 19, 2019 2:44 pm

What if they move the meeting to Sweden? Then she doesn’t have to go anywhere?

Ivor Ward
June 19, 2019 2:46 pm

She could part the waters and walk across the sea floor. It worked for Moses…. Maybe she could lead her followers to the promised land that way.

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
June 19, 2019 3:00 pm

How do you cross the Atlantic Ocean without flying?

Greta will need to start early.

Pre-steam (i.e. sail) Atlantic crossings could take 30 days or more (Columbus took 5 weeks). A modern racing trimiran with favorable winds can make the West to East passage in 4 days and some change (the record is 3 days, 15 hours). Gretta would be going the other way, which is slower. Also racing sailboats have no space for passengers; Gretta would have to work for her passage and at least not get in the way.

I did find one company offering passenger Atlantic crossings by sail. They quote a Tenerife (Spain) – Barbados cruise in November that lasts 24 days (roughly 3,200 nautical miles – Stockholm to New York is about 4,100). This is a party cruise, so they’re probably not making optimal speed. And at $3,900 it’s not cheap either.

In any case, young Greta should allow 4 weeks to get to New York without increasing her carbon footprint.

Then on to San Diego by bicycle, which according to this guide requires about a month to cover the roughly 2,800 miles from New York to San Diego:

A strong recreational cyclist might be able to average somewhere between 50 and 100 miles per day. If you can average 100 miles per day and not take days off then it will take about a month.

So that’s at least 30 days of meals and lodging Greta will need. I wonder how many cross-country cyclists are vegetarians? She can’t eat meat and still be carbon neutral.

Now reverse the whole process to get Greta back home, probably about 5 months later, but you can never be certain when sailing across the Atlantic.

Kind of pointless, considering you can fly from Stockholm to San Diego in 15 hours with one stopover, but hey, I’d be really impressed if Gretta did it the pre-industrial way. She would certainly gain an appreciation for exactly why the world likes powered transport so much.

Before railroads and the Panama Canal, people would spend over a 100 days on a ship to get from New York to San Francisco, but does anybody today want to go to San Francisco badly enough to miss half the major league baseball season? Well probably Willis would, just for the adventure and to have something to write about.

Reply to  Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
June 19, 2019 4:20 pm

And all of those days, she is going to “expect” air conditioning and heating, hot meals and cold beverages, packed and properly sealed food fresh from the trucks carrying it from the fields to the fossil-fueled canning and cooking plants, but all grown from ox-pulled tractors and harvesters, planted behind horse-drawn plows, right?

James Fosser
June 19, 2019 3:07 pm

In many peoples minds this child is a goddess. If true she should be able to walk across providing she takes a lot of packed lunches.

June 19, 2019 3:12 pm

Ha ha ha. youse denialists do not understand basic common sense.

let me take you through it step by step, nincompoops.

1. St Greta flys to conference, using one million times her carbon allowance

2. are you with me so far ? idiots

3. St Greta converts one million and one sceptics to greenery. making her journey worthwhile. (by one, or whatever the conversion rate actually is)

4. And there we are. the ultimate carbon offset.

5. Well obviously the one million converts have to spend a year with zero carbon. which means dying. But you asked whether it was possible. and I have clearly demonstrated that is probably is

mr bliss
June 19, 2019 4:49 pm

I believe the A-Team encountered the same problem -” I Ain’t gettin’ in no plane fool! ” was a stance taking by BA Baracus on several occasions – but he still miraculously arrived at his distant destination, suitably confused of course

June 19, 2019 5:01 pm

“How do you attend a Distant Climate Conference Without Flying?”

Stop pretending you’re anything but an ignorant little girl, or that you have anything anyone else needs to hear that can’t be spread like the flu on faceplant.

June 19, 2019 5:15 pm

Can’t she just just the Farce to hover across the Atlantic?

Use The Farce Greta!

June 19, 2019 6:37 pm

“We will all have to do the impossible.”
– Greta

There’s no shortage of impossible things, so at least there will be full employment.

Reply to  Toto
June 19, 2019 7:00 pm

Like travelling overseas without an airplane or boat?
I will give her one thing though, she hasn’t the hypocrisy typical of your average climate stooge.

Reply to  Davis
June 20, 2019 3:45 am

Because she is a real believer.

June 19, 2019 6:46 pm

Rent one of the world’s largest yachts ala DeCrapio?
Borrow the electric car “driven” from Amsterdam to Adelaide Australia?
Stay home with the rest of your bat crap crazy family?

June 19, 2019 8:41 pm

In the end she can always fall back on the “greater good” argument. You have to do a little harm to educate the masses type stuff. Been working for decades for Al Gore flitting around the world and being chaffeured around in luxury SUVs . Why should the Gret-ster miss out?

June 19, 2019 10:01 pm

Get Alexandria Ocasio Cortes to carry her.

She can walk on water.

And then announce the solution to renewable energy

A toilet equipped with solar panels for all the greens who think the suns shines out of their…

Wiliam Haas
June 20, 2019 12:20 am

If these organizations were really concerned about the burning of fossil fuels, they would have their conferences over the internet where the people involved never have to leave home.

Alexander Vissers
June 20, 2019 1:45 am

Sailing used to be a popular way to cross the Atlantic before the steamships took over most of the traffic but still hundreds of sailing boats cross the Atlantic each year so either sign as crew or be a paying passenger.

June 20, 2019 2:27 am

I think someone needs to gently explain to Greta that her presence at the conference s is not needed and won’t make any difference to the outcomes.

tim wells
Reply to  PaulD
June 23, 2019 4:07 am

Yes, but she will make a great ‘spiritual’ contribution by being there. All we have to do is,
“Reach out and touch
somebody’s hand,
Let’s make this world a better place,
If we can.”

A Sarc Production.

June 20, 2019 3:02 am

You should not be focussing on a kid here folks. I know most of it is innocent fun but it is the foolish fame-seeking eco-parents here that you should be going after.
Moderators: you should keep a close reign on posts involving kids – it’s bad form. In this case, you could have a young person with Aspergers who when reading some of the above comments may not understand the sarcasm/humour and could suffer because of it. I would make the decision to not post the names of minors when they are being used for propaganda or promotion on any side of any debate.

June 20, 2019 3:54 am

She can walk crossing the Bering street in winter. Cold and hungry Polar bears could be a problem.

June 20, 2019 7:17 am


Reply to  Richard Lindley
June 20, 2019 8:12 am

Try sending this to her Twitter account