UN Warns Climate Change Will Destroy Earth By 2005

WORLD—The U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change came to a grim conclusion regarding the rapid warming of the earth, should people not band together to give more power over to the government in order to turn the tide in the fight against climate change.

The report definitively concluded that climate change will completely destroy the earth by 2005 if we do not take action now.

“We’ve run all the numbers, and it’s absolutely clear: every inch of dry land on the planet will be totally submerged by the year 2005,” said one member of the panel. “This is an absolute scientific fact.”

When several scientific researchers pointed out that 2005 came and went 13 years ago, they were informed that the earth was actually destroyed, everybody was killed, and we are all actually ghosts.

“Every person on the planet is now a spirit who was killed over a decade ago by climate change,” said a UN spokesperson. “And anyone who does not believe this will be labeled a ghost science denier.”


In case you have not figured it out yet, this is a spoof article – written by the Babylon Bee Welcome to our “Friday Funny” for the week.

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55 thoughts on “UN Warns Climate Change Will Destroy Earth By 2005

    • Actually the world is only 97% destroyed at the moment. That’s the part you and I can see from our windows. The rest is a barren wasteland. It’s touch & go whether it will grow back before we notice, or whether we will be destroyed, as well.

    • With the absurdity of some of the garbage coming out of the UN, I did a triple-take on this article before my brain accepted it as spoof.

  1. I was hoping it was a spoof article. I’ve missed so many “end of the world”s now, I’d hate the miss the big one.

    • climanrecon, from your link:
      “… the frightening power of human reproduction must also be curbed”

      Every second of every day a woman gives birth … if only we could find that woman and stop her …

      • Global populations will continue to rise.

        97% of people in white lab-coats cite studies that reveal the reason: sex seems to be more fun than dying. More research grants are needed, however.

  2. A better spoof would be to publish a 1991 summary for policy makers as a 2018 paper.
    An even better spoof would be to publish a 1991 summary, and add 17 years to all dates. Then see if anyone can tell the difference.

  3. Here i was thinking how did this typo get past the editor then i thought it was another failed prediction story. Then i realised it is a failed humor story. Then i realised it only failed the humor bit because the ipcc would back it fully.

  4. Don’t be silly.

    The world ended due to the Y2K bug 5 years before that.
    Well it would have except that it ended due toxic rain before that.
    Which never happened because before it could, the world ended because of acid rain.
    Well again, it would have except that it ended from global cooling before that.
    I think I’ve worked my way back to 1974. Did I miss any?
    Hmmm… I think I skipped the end of the world because of the population explosion, and also because we ran out of oil. Can’t remember what order the d*mn end of the world predictions are supposed to be in, there’s just too many.

  5. Ever wonder why the words are ‘The end is nigh’ well because then you can claim it is always ‘going to happen ‘ so you never have to worry about being asked why it has not happened as you claimed it word . It’s the same as the sign that says ‘free beer tomorrow ‘
    The difference is the second is a joke , while the first is climate ‘science ‘ in action.

  6. So unfunny it almost comes full-circle and is funny.

    Don’t say I didn’t tell you:

    Eating sugar rots a whole lot more than just your teeth

    Hence it really is Worse Than We Thought, as in “There’s something funny going on here”

    Except, it is in fact it’s not funny funny, it is deadly serious. The Most Excellent Fun that people have when playing with Deadly Diabetes & Deadly Dementia.
    The Human Animal cannot lie, hence, whoever wrote this is telling us something.
    Screaming out for help in fact.
    Drowning, not waving.

  7. It is written in the book of Gore, it could be Brian, Mann and many more, that not believing in “climate change” will make the bottom fall out of your world. I counter this claim. No no no, I say! Drinking HSB (Horndean Special Brew. A UK, Hampshire brew I am very familiar with hic), the world falls out of your bottom, and with little resistance.

  8. As I am now apparently a spirit, a ghost so as to speak by the prognostications of the IPCC and numerous former surreal predictors of the climate often labelled as climate scientists but now apparently just ghostly climate scientists, who have in their usual ghastly ghostly fashion not a skerrick of evidence to support their Delphi like prognostications, none of them will allow me my ghostly skepticism otherwise I will apparently be a ghost science denier.

    So the question is ; Do I have to continuing to pay taxes to a ghost government or can I substitute ghost taxes in lieu of aforesaid taxes instead particularly as the world is going to end very soon due to the very Ghostly Climate Change and all the taxes extracted out of the citizens won’t in the slightest, help to put the IPCC’s and UN’s Humpty Dumpty climate change back together again if you believe the IPCC’s ghastly ghostly climate scientists.

    And if instead of warming, the globe begins to experience cooling then we will all have real trouble trying to find and identify all those vaporous ghostly scientific apparitions that today go under the brand name of “climate scientists” who draw munificent salaries based on their rather expansive and highly expensive predictions and explanations of phenomena that after some few hundred thousand years of similar climate and weather happenings, today constitutes “dangerous climate change”..
    .
    Ghosts governments are a real deal.
    We just don’t ever get to see them around here as they are normally invisible although they can be heard usually at foghorn volumes near election times.
    And they also appear when those non ghost taxes have to be paid or some sickly green ghastly ghost regulations have been broken again and their ghostly overpaid minions are bound then to be found hounding the non ghostly citizens.

  9. As I am now apparently a spirit, a ghost so as to speak by the prognostications of the IPCC and numerous former surreal predictors of the climate often labelled as climate scientists but now apparently just ghostly climate scientists, who have in their usual ghastly ghostly fashion not a skerrick of evidence to support their Delphi like prognostications, none of them will allow me my ghostly skepticism otherwise I will apparently be a ghost science denier.

    So the question is ; Do I have to continuing to pay taxes to a ghost government or can I substitute ghost taxes in lieu of aforesaid taxes instead particularly as the world is going to end very soon due to the very Ghostly Climate Change and all the taxes extracted out of the citizens won’t in the slightest, help to put the IPCC’s and UN’s Humpty Dumpty climate change back together again if you believe the IPCC’s ghastly ghostly climate scientists.

    And if instead of warming, the globe begins to experience cooling then we will all have real trouble trying to find and identify all those vaporous ghostly scientific apparitions that today go under the brand name of “climate scientists” who draw munificent salaries based on their rather expansive and highly expensive predictions and explanations of phenomena that after some few hundred thousand years of similar climate and weather happenings, today constitutes “dangerous climate change”..
    .
    Ghosts governments are a real deal.
    We just don’t ever get to see them around here as they are normally invisible although they can be heard usually at foghorn volumes near election times.
    And they also appear when those non ghost taxes have to be paid or some sickly green ghastly ghost regulations have been broken again and their ghostly overpaid minions are bound then to be found hounding the non ghostly citizens.

  10. A Warmist’s Lament

    OMG!!! It’s like, “We’re all gonna die! Like, I mean, y’know, totally! And stuff… And it’s already happened!!! Yikes, we’re all dead!!! From global warming!!! Al Gore was right! Why oh why didn’t I listen to him??? Why didn’t I give Greenpeace more money? Now I won’t get to fill up my bucket list, and do all the cool things I wanted to do, but never got around to doing… This is so tragic, I mean so totally tragic, how could it all have come down to this? We’ve all been dead since 2005!!! HEY, WAIT A SECOND!!!” 🙂

  11. Important to note here:
    The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. John 3:8

    Interesting that in effect God says that He controls the weather. It is man trying to place himself as God [trying to control others] saying we can control the weather: A pseudo religion. And, looking at it objectively, the brainwashing that is still going on is as frighteningly good as it was in the days of Hitler, when the people were brainwashed into believing that the ‘Jews” were ‘the’ problem. They were pictured as rats that were ‘infecting’ Europe. In those days they even had an ‘eugenic’ science that could prove the ‘inferiority’ of the Jews, gypsies, blacks, etc.
    Add to this the droughts and resulting hyper inflation [1930’s onward, also the Dust Bowl droughts 1932-1939] and you have a remarkable similarity and the call for the Strongman to lead the world – it is likely that this could happen again. If the droughts will come again – which they will – and ‘man’ is blamed for them.,,, That would be the final anti-christ who will become a global leader with a pseudo religion [including Islam? and other religions] – that person might in fact be a woman….

    My own various investigations,
    http://breadonthewater.co.za/2018/05/04/which-way-will-the-wind-be-blowing-genesis-41-vs-27/

    lead me to believe that a return of the drought times in the NH is imminent and it could lead to worldwide food shortages.

  12. C’mon guys – the world ended 250 millions years during the Triassic when CO2 levels rose to more than 1,000ppm. It was because of the tipping point, see?

  13. We may be ghosts but don’t worry, the human brand is still worth something and if we all band together, we can come back from the dead.
    Hey, it could happen – just look at Toys R Us.

  14. Of course, as we all know, polar bears went extinct during the Roman Warm Period, again during the Medieval Warm period, and most recently during the last El Nino.

  15. UN will issue this same report in 2040, but will change the date of disaster to 2045! Saves a lot of research $’s to pay for all their COPings!

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