Nutty Science Claim: CO2/global warming shrinking men’s testicles

From the correlation is not causation department, and Mother Jones, comes this absurdity:

A new study from researchers in California has reached some astonishing new conclusions. An interdisciplinary team composed of members from physics, physiology, statistics, and atmospheric sciences began with results from a metastudy of sperm concentration in men. 

This study (chart on left) confirmed that sperm concentrations have been declining since the early 70s. At the same time, measurements from the Mauna Loa Observatory show that CO2 concentrations in the atmosphere have been rising during the same period (chart on right):

 After validating a parameterless model based on surprisingly common consumer software packages, the team derived a transformation equation based on τ = 1 at 1973 for the Mauna Loa data:

y =  π +κx, where π = -238 and κ = -ln(11)

As the authors put it, “Our global manhood is being steadily shriveled into effeminancy by our huge and rising emission of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.


Riiiighht….

The paper:

Temporal trends in sperm count: a systematic review and meta-regression analysis.

BACKGROUND Reported declines in sperm counts remain controversial today and recent trends are unknown. A definitive meta-analysis is critical given the predictive value of sperm count for fertility, morbidity and mortality. OBJECTIVE AND RATIONALE To provide a systematic review and meta-regression analysis of recent trends in sperm counts as measured by sperm concentration (SC) and total sperm count (TSC), and their modification by fertility and geographic group.


You can correlate just about anything to CO2 and global warming:

 

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D. Anderson
October 8, 2018 12:39 pm

I’ve got HUGE hands. Believe me.

Charles Higley
Reply to  D. Anderson
October 8, 2018 5:48 pm

Er, it’s odd that they did not consider that men may simply be having more sex and thus less sperm build up. Makes sense to me. Just saying.

Reply to  Charles Higley
October 9, 2018 7:37 am

Charles Hugley
Are you implying that
having more s-e-x
caused D. Anderson’s
hands to grow larger?

Reply to  D. Anderson
October 9, 2018 7:18 am

They should haver claimed
man’s “favorite organ”
is shrinking from more CO2
— well, they are getting close,
but I’m very confident
they will say “that” someday,
as I predicted about
a decade ago.

You tell men their favorite organ
is going to shrink, and they’ll
listen to you — tell them it
will shrink and
“be stolen”
or “fall off”,
and they’ll do
anything you say
to prevent it.

See WikiPedia for details (really):
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koro_(medicine)

Hopefully this comment
won’t start a discussion
on the important topic mentioned,
or I’ll probably regret posting this
under my real name,
when I could have
used a moniker such as:
“Englebert Lipshitz”

HotScot
October 8, 2018 12:39 pm

Bollox!

Curious George
Reply to  HotScot
October 8, 2018 2:04 pm

Researchers from California, where marijuana is legal.

Reply to  Curious George
October 9, 2018 7:40 am

Living in California
causes the loss
of one IQ point a year,
so there is no need
for Californians
to smoke pot as a
“stimulant” to write
a stupid article
or study.

LdB
Reply to  HotScot
October 8, 2018 6:02 pm

No it’s true HotScot and it’s all caused by lack of pirates any good Pastafarian knows this. If you don’t know the background google it. It’s probably more an in joke within the physics community as a reminder that correlation does not equal causation something that get lost in pseudoscience where the junk above belongs.

michael hart
Reply to  LdB
October 9, 2018 1:43 am

That was my thought, too. People publishing jokes like this is could be a sign that skepticism about the global warming bollox is actually widespread in academia.

Reply to  michael hart
October 9, 2018 7:34 am

michael hurt

Unfortunately,
leftists will believe
just about anything
preceded by:
“Scientists say … ”

and in the bad old days,
of O’Bummer,
they’d believe everything
preceded by:
“The Obama Administration announced … ”

That statement is based
on my own “experiments”
with people I know,
unfortunately almost all leftists.

“Scientists say there will be almost
no snow in the winter, twenty years
from now”, worked every time.

John Tillman
October 8, 2018 12:42 pm

More warmth should lead to less shrinkage.

John Hultquist
October 8, 2018 12:52 pm

Try the relationship with HFCS.

John Sandhofner
October 8, 2018 12:58 pm

Sounds like this observation might get any young men who are climate deniers to take notice. We are talking serious consequences after all.

Sweet Old Bob
Reply to  John Sandhofner
October 8, 2018 2:06 pm

Too many snowflakes in their sample ?
They probably have a count equal to their IQ …..

Lady Life Grows
October 8, 2018 1:01 pm

OK, the title is a groaner and the conclusion is preposterous. True, men-darling’s testicles need to be cooler than the rest of the body, but there would be approximately zero sperm reduction from air temperatures that we could survive in.
However, i keep pointing out that not all the CO2 rise is from fossil fuels. Some is from poison-based agriculture killing soil organisms, whose carbon gets oxidized to CO2. That reduces soil fertility. Total leaf cover is way up–but micronutrients–vitamins and minerals–are reduced. It is likely indeed that this has something to do with male (and female) reproductive problems.

Still, it is known and proven that plastics are messing with males throughout nature. There are also herbicides and other toxins. Many of these things have feminizing effects on everything from fish to frogs, alligators–and people.

MarkW
Reply to  Lady Life Grows
October 8, 2018 4:26 pm

Poison based agriculture???

Now that the know-nothing wing has been heard from, can we get back to science.

MarkW
Reply to  MarkW
October 8, 2018 4:28 pm

PS: It’s been postulated but there is no science that actually shows that plastics have any such impacts.
Ditto for herbicides and so on.

Alan the Brit
Reply to  MarkW
October 9, 2018 12:36 am

And the correlation between the contraceptive pill use & pregnancy rates is?????????? It has been “speculated” that sperm counts in younger generations of men & their mothers’ use of the pill could be significant in the long term!

Patrick
Reply to  Alan the Brit
October 9, 2018 3:45 am

If there’s one thing too sacred for a Leftist/Green to even whisper against, it is the Pill. But you are certainly onto something, as well as the estrogen pollution that passes through our sewage treatment processes

Ben Palmer
Reply to  Lady Life Grows
October 8, 2018 5:51 pm

“There are also herbicides and other toxins. Many of these things have feminizing effects”
It’s well known that God created the Man first. God then used herbicides and toxins to create the Woman.

LdB
Reply to  Ben Palmer
October 8, 2018 6:05 pm

Careful calling all women toxic might bring you under the gaze of #metoo

Andrew Hamilton
October 8, 2018 1:03 pm

Well it’s a long time since they “proved” the rainfall in the West of Scotland is directly related to the number of people riding bicycles in West Africa.

Latitude
October 8, 2018 1:03 pm

….millennials drink a lot of plastic bottled water….they will become extinct

Paula Cohen
Reply to  Latitude
October 8, 2018 5:31 pm

One can only hope so.

major Meteor
October 8, 2018 1:05 pm

I believe ‘shrinkage’ is probably caused by turning men into soy boys and the feminists bashing toxic masculinity to the point that they don’t want masculinity period. Are you sure this isn’t another hoax paper that a bunch of wise guys tried to see if it could get through peer review?

kramer
October 8, 2018 1:07 pm

The MJ article is a spoof. They say so (indirectly) near the bottom of the article. At least, that’s the way I interpret what they say.

Latitude
Reply to  kramer
October 8, 2018 2:47 pm

IMPORTANT NOTE: My readers are mostly liberals, and believe me, I know what you’re thinking. Those are just two straight lines. The fancy Greek letters in the equation just change the slope and offset of one of them. Correlation doesn’t mean causation. And you’ve provided no causal mechanism at all.

Right. I get it. Now STFU. Do you want to fight climate change or not? If you do, there’s no harm in a little white lie that convinces men their balls are shrinking, is there? If you think about it, it’s one of the few things that might actually get a reaction from conservative white guys. So just go along, OK?

Retired_Engineer_Jim
Reply to  Latitude
October 8, 2018 10:53 pm

After all, we have to exaggerate the consequences to get the public’s attention. Wasn’t that what Dr P Jones sadi more than a decade ago? And it is up to each climate scientist, individually, to determine how far he or she will bend their personal and professional integrity. Think of the children, and the polar bears.

LdB
Reply to  kramer
October 8, 2018 6:14 pm

I wasn’t sure which makes it a bad one. I mean if your spoof and satire for reaction you need to offend everyone.

Joel Snider
October 8, 2018 1:09 pm

Progressive men, maybe.

Or maybe that’s a prerequisite.

E J Zuiderwijk
October 8, 2018 1:15 pm

Well, that one solved a mystery that has puzzled my wife greatly.

Zig Zag Wanderer
October 8, 2018 1:24 pm

So, emissions are affecting emissions?

Nutty
October 8, 2018 1:25 pm

It’s the ever increasing chemical coctail folks.
When you compare dedicated long term organic farmers to the average comparable person buying supermarket stuff, the sperm counts of the “organic” group is way better off. CO2 is just a spurious correlation here. How toxic would CO2 have been on any kind of balls and sperms during evolutionary times. More CO2 means better conditions for organic farming and more viable sperms per volume unit. Go for it.

MarkW
Reply to  Nutty
October 8, 2018 4:30 pm

Can you provide a link to the mythical study that you are referencing?
PS: Have you accounted for any of the hundreds of other potential explanations? Such as those who are willing to pay more for organics are health nuts in general?

william Johnston
Reply to  MarkW
October 8, 2018 8:22 pm

It’s the cold. Cold will do that to the male appendage.

Nutty
Reply to  MarkW
October 9, 2018 1:46 pm

Hi. Need some days to pick this up. As far as I recall this was a study on Danish organic farmers. I enjoy many a comment here, but some rway off into the dark conservative corner. The world is not as simple and relationships are often not as the simplest rednecks like them to be. More CO2 is good for you, your balls, your sperm’s motility (maybe not relevant when the gene line is developed in the early testicles of a male foetus) but clearly for plant growth and less use of chemicals when farming food items.

LdB
Reply to  Nutty
October 8, 2018 6:18 pm

I am with MarkW people claiming something is what Snake Oil salesman and Con man do.

Proof or you are a Snake Oil salesman and liar.

Tom in Florida
October 8, 2018 1:26 pm

This is really hitting below the belt.

Allencic
October 8, 2018 1:27 pm

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford is going to use this, and her personal measurements of old, white men for her next very important psychology research paper. It will of course be published by the NY Times.

john
Reply to  Allencic
October 8, 2018 9:40 pm

Why bother doing research when you can pull data from “recovered memory”?

Samuel C Cogar
October 8, 2018 1:29 pm

This study (chart on left) confirmed that sperm concentrations have been declining since the early 70s.

Well “DUH”, ……. SURPRISE, SURPISE, SURPRISE.

It was also in the early 70s that the teenage and 20-something females began “freely” giving teenage and 20-something male friends and 1st time acquaintances all the sex they desired ….. and then some.

So iffen researchers had been measuring/counting sperm concentrations during the past 48 years then of course it would/should have been declining simply because the male is not capable of producing great quantities of sperm and semen every 5 to 8 hours every day, ….. day after day for weeks or months at a time. To wit:

To hear the ex-hippies and Summer of Love enthusiasts tell it, the spring and summer of 1967 in San Francisco changed everything, especially sex.

At first, this sounds like more of the same generational hagiography from baby boomers that we’ve been subjected to for several decades now. But there is no question that we are still living with the “free love” fallout. Everything from the rise of Viagra to “Girls Gone Wild” and feminist porn, to the sex education debate and the Christian fundamentalist backlash, bears the mark of that bohemian sexual revolution.

The lingering image of the Summer of Love has been one of bare-breasted flower children making love in patchouli-scented crash pads, sharing their food, their money and their partners.

The real story is more complex.

Read more @ http://www.nbcnews.com/id/19053382/ns/health-sexual_health/t/free-love-was-there-price-pay/#.W7u8M-TQZPY

Silversurfer
October 8, 2018 1:32 pm

It’s probably got more to do with feminist activism than anything else.

PaulH
Reply to  Silversurfer
October 8, 2018 4:28 pm

…or recent “Cosmopolitan” cover-girls.

Susan
October 8, 2018 1:39 pm

A natural correction to the overpopulation problem!

October 8, 2018 1:43 pm

Just to be clear, MOTHER JONES is the publication making the absurd causal connection between sperm count and CO2. The study on sperm count itself says nothing about CO2 — it’s just a study about sperm count.

All ridicule, then, should be directed to MOTHER JONES.

That publication gives mothers a bad name.

sophocles
Reply to  Robert Kernodle
October 12, 2018 8:25 am

There is a piece of New Zealand Urban Myth from the 1950s:
The NZ Govt Department of Scientific Research supposedly had the testicles of some rams (male sheep) wrapped in a tea cosies during the mating season to see what effect warmer testicles would have.

A teacosy is a woollen jacket to snugly cover a tea pot to keep its contents warmer by reducing the tea pot’s rate of heat loss. The ewes the treated rams serviced were tracked and number of progeny were compared with those of the previous year. The teacosy treated rams had a lower success rate of impregnation, from which the conclusion was drawn that increasing warmth lowered ram fertility.

A control experiment using teacosies loaded with ice cubes was not, according to the legend, considered.

Note: reproductive performance of both rams and ewes in a herd of sheep is closely tracked as it defined which animals were more likely to be culled.

Neo
October 8, 2018 1:45 pm

The classic was … number of Rolling Stones hits vs oil production

October 8, 2018 1:51 pm

I blame mainly overweighness/obesity, there’s a known mechanism for excess body fat to decrease testosterone. I am slightly suspicious that bisphenol A, in thermal paper and coatings on the inside of many cans, might have something to do with decreased sperm count.

Gary Pearse
October 8, 2018 1:53 pm

So, I Guess they used the official IPCC proxies for testicle volume corrected for age and ethnicity.

Steve in Indiana
October 8, 2018 1:53 pm

So that’s what happened to me!

Here I thought it was age and prostate cancer.

I demand a monthly compensation check from Uncle Sam. /sarc

Nik
October 8, 2018 1:53 pm

A desperate attempt by the AGW weenies to enlist the support of real men for their hoax.

Gary Ashe
October 8, 2018 2:11 pm

Yeah righto, shrinking knackers indeed.

All global warming does for my knackers is make them hang like a turkeys neck, i just wear longer shorts like African blokes with sweaty b0ll0 x wear.

David Snope
October 8, 2018 2:11 pm

Wow, they decide to correlate to CO2 without even acknowledging the most obvious product that shrinks manhood:

comment image

Alan Watt, Climate Denialist Level 7
October 8, 2018 2:12 pm

Our global manhood is being steadily shriveled into effeminancy by our huge and rising emission of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

That should make all those people complaining about “toxic masculinity” demand more global warming now.

Bryan A
October 8, 2018 2:17 pm

Well, AlGore needs some excuse since Shrinkage was proven, via Seinfeld, to be caused by Cold Conditions. His less than adequate brass must be due to CO2.

London247
October 8, 2018 2:31 pm

It’s true. Also I played my Judas Priest records backwards and killed myself.

RDB
October 8, 2018 2:31 pm

My balls HAVE shrunk. I just thought it was old age……

Hoyt Clagwell
October 8, 2018 2:50 pm

I blame high fructose corn syrup. And possibly fluoridation. Can I get some grant money please?

ATheoK
October 8, 2018 3:03 pm

They have not demonstrated correlation, at all.

dmacleo
October 8, 2018 3:08 pm

well…got varicocele issues so would welcome that
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/varicocele/symptoms-causes/syc-20378771
sadly mine isn’t the non painful type and have had 2 surgeries for it.
so…bring it on.

petermue
October 8, 2018 3:10 pm

CO2 – what a wonderful gas it is.

Craig from Oz
October 8, 2018 3:12 pm

Soy Boy

Geoff Sherrington
October 8, 2018 3:28 pm

My lifestyle for the last 50 years has been tailored to testicle size reduction. Same as I have minimised fat in my diet and on my body. A large sperm volume is like a big beer gut, something best to do without. It is the quality of sperm that needs to be measured for correlations.
Remember the 1970s feminist cry “Assert your rights! Make him sleep in the wet spot.” Again, the aim is to minimise sperm volume, or rather the volume of messy, fatty liquid carrying the sperm.
Especially so if you are environmentally sensitive and you reject condoms because after one-off use they are thrown away to pollute the oceans, worse than plastic drinking straws and not interchangeable.
Sperm management is not a hard concept, you just have to work it out between you. Geoff

October 8, 2018 3:42 pm

You’ve all got it wrong:

The correct causal relationship is between the rise of radical feminist activism and the reduction of sperm count.

The rise in CO2 caused more women to become feminists, which, in turn, turned off more men, who substituted eating more for pursuing women, which led to increased male obesity, and so on down to the final result of decreasing sperm count.

ShanghaiDan
October 8, 2018 4:21 pm

Hmmm….

CLANG CLANG CLANG

Nope. Still big and brassy!

gringojay
October 8, 2018 4:41 pm

1921 USA: 271 men avg. count 100million sperm/ml; half over 100million/ml. 1938 USA:
200 men avg. 120million/ml; 25% less than 60million/ml. 194? USA: 49 men avg. 145million/ml; range 50-321million/ml. 1950 USA: 100 men avg. 100.7million/ml. 1951 USA: 1,000 men avg. 107million/ml; 44% >100milliom/ml, 24% 20-60million/ml & 5%100million/ml.

Not exactly sure comparative ages sampled &
believe men were fertile; the 1951 data pool
is largest cited. There were reports in a few countries in the 1990’s about approx. 50%
lower sperm counts even then. I’m not parsing
age of those tested in different studies.

If we accept 1951 USA downward trend data then the declining
sperm count can not be blamed on soy derived
products estrogenic potential, high fructose corn syrup or plastic compounds. Of course
these may be relevant now.

Retired_Engineer_Jim
Reply to  gringojay
October 8, 2018 11:03 pm

It was obviously the above-ground nuclear testing that did it.

Or more men wearing Speedos.

simple-touriste
October 8, 2018 5:21 pm

Yes, it’s pathetic.

But the “believers” in “science” aka pro-“science” aka highly “intelligent” and “educated” people aka “fact” believers aka “rationalists” aka “skeptics” accept that vaccines caused decrease of infectious diseases with much less evidence.

Bill Murphy
October 8, 2018 5:26 pm

Obviously true! During the last glaciation CO2 was down to 180ppm and men were routinely hunting Woolly mammoth with wooden spears and defending their homes and families against leopards and saber tooth tigers with clubs and stone axes. Now when CO2 is >400ppm how many men have the stones to do that? I’ve never hunted anything more dangerous than a Jack rabbit and used a rifle for that. Masculinity has clearly declined with CO2 increase. /sarc as if you didn’t know.

Strayhorse
October 8, 2018 5:52 pm

It is no secret that there are a large number of misandrists that are seeking to eliminate males from this world. These misandrists have openly declared their contempt for men and their desire to rid the world of men. What a better way to avoid the label murder/genocide than to slowly cook the sperm out of males so no new males are born. Misandrist are a extreme danger to all humankind.

Joey
October 8, 2018 6:13 pm

No…..it’s not global warming that is shrinking men’s testicles…it is liberalism that is doing so.

Big Bob
October 8, 2018 6:49 pm

How can that be. I’ve grown a third one now.,

e_deploribus_unum
October 8, 2018 7:16 pm

Oh, so now we have to worry about “global warming” shrinking men’s testicles? I thought (((Feminism))) was bad enough!

George Lawson
Reply to  e_deploribus_unum
October 9, 2018 1:58 am

and to think, for years, my wife has put it down to my age!!

observa
Reply to  George Lawson
October 9, 2018 4:34 am

This man is clearly a victim of climate change. Give him some renewable energy credits and send him home to bed. Next…

October 8, 2018 8:40 pm

Oh no 🙁

Now I know what my problem is 🙁

High Treason
October 8, 2018 9:31 pm

Note-it is sperm concentration IN men. Implies (what do you expect in California) that the sperm has been delivered in to men.

Looks like CO2 increases have made them gay.

At least fertility is simply not an issue.

J.H.
October 8, 2018 9:39 pm

So… The Soy Bois are measuring each other’s balls are they? Well that figures.

Pop Piasa
October 8, 2018 11:36 pm

A new study from researchers in California has reached some astonishing new conclusions….

Seems to be a post-modern trend, doesn’t it? But then again there’s always bad pseudo news from Colorado, Arizona, and East Anglia too.

M Courtney
October 9, 2018 4:17 am

The fact that sperm concentrations are declining is interesting. It implies that fertility is falling too but that may not be the case if quality is increased.

My own pet theory is that the birth control pill is raising the female hormone levels in the environment. As it isn’t well-removed by water treatment plants there is every reason to think that it may have an effect.

This is a well-reasoned hypothesis with absolutely no evidence for or against it.

Fredar
Reply to  M Courtney
October 9, 2018 7:53 am

My theory is that the aliens did it.

RichDo
October 9, 2018 4:21 am

“Nutty Science Claim: CO2/global warming shrinking men’s testicles”

I see what you did there Anthony – best post title of the year (so far).

Reply to  RichDo
October 9, 2018 7:26 am

to RicDooDoo
I also specialize
in jokes so clever
almost no one,
especially leftists,
notices the joke.

Keith
October 9, 2018 4:59 am

Obviously its affecting leftists preferentially

Ryan S.
October 9, 2018 1:18 pm

Well that explains safe spaces, trigger warnings and perpetually being offended.

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