The Climate Dictionary

Guest Post by Willis Eschenbach

I see that there is some confusion over terminology in the climate field. In response, I’ve put together a list of common terms, along with what far too often they mean in climate science. So without further ado, here’s my climate dictionary.

climate dictionary.png

TERM                                                    DEFINITION

an expected result of global warming — “We predicted warming and got a heavy snowfall instead”.

anthropogenic — see “human fingerprint”.

anthropogenic change — “It’s warmer than usual”.

anthropogenic climate change — “Weather we don’t like”.

autocorrelation — “Say what? We don’t have to deal with that”.

Bonferroni correction — see “autocorrelation”

carbon dioxide — “The secret knob that controls the climate”.

cause — “Greenhouse gases”

climate — “It’s warmer than usual”.

climate change — “What ‘global warming’ became after we repeatedly predicted warming and got heavy snowfalls instead”.

climate feedback — see “natural variability”.

confounding factors — “Things that we choose to ignore.”

coupled non-linear chaotic system — ” y = ax + b “

effect — “dangerous anthropogenic global warming”

ever — “qualifier of superlatives to indicate things that haven’t happened since the Earth was first formed in 1970”.

external forces — see “other factors”

human fingerprint — “We can’t explain what caused it, so it must be from people acting badly”.

hundred-year flood — “Any flood recurring more than one news cycle apart”.

Industrial Revolution — “The time of the climate Eden when the temperature was exactly right”.

IPCC Conference of the Parties — “A recurring party attended by only the wokest of the woke”.

it is well known — “I believe this”.

it’s a boundary value problem — “This depends on future boundaries we can’t predict but we’ll act like we can.”

multiproxy study — “We left out the proxies that don’t agree with our theory”.

natural climate fluctuation — “We don’t know why it goes up and down”.

natural variability — “We have no idea what the cause was”.

naturally occurring dynamics — “Something happened that we can’t explain”.

other factors — “Deus ex machina”.

phase reversal — “Cause and effect just went 180° out of phase for no reason”.

predicted sea level rise — “Run for the hills! We’ll all be drowned!”

projections — “It’s a forecast but we don’t stand behind it”.

proxies show — “One tree in Yamal had this to say”.

regime change — “Cause and effect just went 180° out of phase for no reason”.

renewable energy — “This solution requires extensive subsidies”.

requires further study — “Give us more taxpayer money”.

social cost of carbon — “Our analyses will completely ignore the benefits of fossil fuels and the greening of the planet”.

the effect of various lag times — “Things that don’t line up can be made to line up”.

weather — “It’s colder than usual”.

well within expectations – “It’s colder than usual”.


 

Finally, we have the IPCC Likelihood Scale:

Virtually certain – “All my cool scientist friends agree”.

Very likely – “We really hope this is true”.

Likely – “Two climate models out of three agree”.

About as likely as not – “Nobody has a clue”.

Unlikely – “This outcome offends us”.

Very unlikely – “We really don’t want you going down that path”.

Exceptionally unlikely – “Stephen McIntyre said it first so it can’t possibly be true.”

Best to all,

w.

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markl
March 16, 2018 7:01 pm

🙂 but true.

Reply to  markl
March 17, 2018 7:20 am

Off Topic:
Well maybe not.
There’s a new “Sea Level Report Card” study that is making the rounds in media outlets:
Sea-Level Report Cards
Tide gauge data is being extrapolated from 1969 (not 1968 and not 1970 but 1969) out to 2050 for 32 tide gauges Maine to Alaska.
Apparently extrapolation of time lines shorter than the existing data is in vogue.

ossqss
March 16, 2018 7:04 pm

ECS = Exceptionally Conflated Secrets

Tom Halla
March 16, 2018 7:04 pm

I presume you admire Ambrose Bierce, Willis.

Richard G.
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 6:11 pm

Yankee: no such term. see Damnyankee.

Phil R
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 6:52 pm

Richard G.,

Yankee: no such term. see Damnyankee.

As a born and bred southerner, I respectfully disagree. The difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee is that Yankees go home.

Evan Jones
Editor
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 18, 2018 7:14 am

Peace (n.): A period of cheating occurring between two periods of fighting.

rocketplumber
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 21, 2018 3:16 pm

Off topic but amusing, “The Godling’s glossary”
http://www.davekrieger.net/Glossary/A.shtml

JimG1
March 16, 2018 7:05 pm

There’s another one in an adjacent wuwt post: Climate Justice—–ie——-“give us money”.

Trebla
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 5:32 am

How about adding “paramaterization” or “paramaters”. These are the infamous fudge factors used to force the climate model equations to line up with historical data.

ossqss
March 16, 2018 7:11 pm

PDO = Painfully Damaging Observations
I will stop. Nice job Willis!

Duke C.
March 16, 2018 7:13 pm

I always try to reduce things down. Weather can be reduced down to Precipitation, wind and temp. Climate is the range of these three factors in a given region. simple.

Reply to  Duke C.
March 16, 2018 7:19 pm

Humidity and sky conditions (i.e. cloudy, sunny, etc) are not included?

Duke C.
Reply to  C. Paul Pierett
March 16, 2018 7:26 pm

I consider relative humidity and clouds as precipitation. Helps to simplify things.
h

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  Duke C.
March 16, 2018 10:54 pm

Duke,
Keep your day job.

XYZ
Reply to  Duke C.
March 17, 2018 12:58 am

My father used to live up north. He used bucket of water as thermometer.

thomasjk
Reply to  Duke C.
March 17, 2018 10:01 am

……And ‘normal’ is a range for each whereas ‘average’ is a specific number for each. And don’t forget humidity. Without humidity the so-called ‘greenhouse’ effect is virtually zero.

eyesonu
March 16, 2018 7:15 pm

ROFL but it’s all true!

March 16, 2018 7:20 pm

guide to strawmanning is a better title.

Reply to  Steven Mosher
March 16, 2018 8:40 pm

Straw Manning? He looks more like the Cowardly Lion.

JohnWho
Reply to  Max Photon
March 16, 2018 9:00 pm

“StrawMANNing”
Mikey likes it!

March 16, 2018 7:44 pm

You missed one: “Climate Denier” = “Someone who knows the scientific method and can think logically.”

March 16, 2018 7:56 pm

coupled non-linear chaotic system — ” y = ax + b “

Alan Tomalty
Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 1:01 am

The reason why the PhDs can get away with that equation for a non linear system is that they give the coefficient of x (which is “a” ( in the equation above )) magical qualities. In some of their equations a can even be negative. The standard model basic equation for global warming is
Heat anomaly = @T + Heat forcing
The Heat anomaly is a fictitious number and is only non zero if not in equilibrium so they set it to ZERO to have an equilibrium
That means that -@T = Heat forcing
Since T is in K and Heat forcing is in watts/m2 they assign the units of @ to be (watts/m2*K)
Okay so the 2 terms are now in the same units but at equilibrium it means as Heat forcing goes up the left side will always be negative. Doesnt make sense so to make it work in the climate models they had to put the coefficent positive. Voodoo math

Leo Smith
Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 2:33 am

That should be y = a.log(x) + b….
BUT there it is,
Real Sums’n’stuff are too hard, that’s why I became a Climb-it Sine-tits.
http://vps.templar.co.uk/Cartoons%20and%20Politics/NoWindTurbines_3.jpg

noaaprogrammer
March 16, 2018 8:01 pm

You left out “tipping point.” = The point of no return that occurs when nobody alive now will ever see it.

Anders Otte
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 16, 2018 11:19 pm

Tipping point – “NOAA adjusting the record”

Crispin in Waterloo but really in Ulaanbaatar
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 1:50 am

Willis, your comment is spot on – “The crazy thing about “tipping points” to me is that the only way we see the cliff is after we’ve gone over it” as it captures the essence of the use of the term – it is a point we have already passed, probably.
Tipping point – any numerical value on an undefined scale that has already been reached, or will be reached momentarily, about which nothing can be done because it is already too late.

Mark Hansford
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 6:37 am

Tipping point – the time last year where we all died

Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 8:52 am

We can make the invisible cliff disappear if you give us enough money.

AGW is not Science
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:23 am

“Tipping Point” – scary sounding name given to imminently likely thresholds which were exceeded many times in the past without any of the supposedly awful consequences.”

Gunga Din
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:28 am

Tipping Point = (past tense) “It’s still not too late to send us money.” (present tense) “Our projection says send us money now or else!” (future tense) The point where the projection trips over reality.

Bill Powers
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:38 am

Tipping Point – the Point at which luxury liners flip upside down when hit by a tidal wave caused by global warming.

ferdberple
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 7:20 pm

Tipping point – when you hand over your cash.

Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 18, 2018 12:53 am

Tipping point – suspension of democracy and free speech to save the planet.

Curious George
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 18, 2018 6:24 pm

You can’t see a tipping point just by looking at the history. Example: A tipping point determines whether you catch your train. Your history either records you sitting in the train, or sitting in a waiting room. To determine that there was a tipping point, you need a time table.

JonasM
March 16, 2018 8:01 pm

You forgot:
Robust — “Good enough to get some headlines and another grant.”

tty
Reply to  JonasM
March 17, 2018 1:57 am

Wrong:
Robust – “Gossamer is more solid”

March 16, 2018 8:42 pm

Nor’easter — “New England can expect up to three feet of fresh anecdotes.”

marlene
Reply to  Max Photon
March 16, 2018 9:44 pm

LOL!

March 16, 2018 8:44 pm

Post hoc ergo propter hoc — “huh?”

Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 6:06 am

“Ante hoc ergo propter hoc” = “the relationship between CO2 and warming is complicated” (see “complicated”)
“complicated” = “Al Gore just finished using Mike’s Nature trick to hide the lag”

March 16, 2018 8:46 pm

Climate sensitivity — “Your nipples are showing.”

JohnWho
Reply to  Max Photon
March 16, 2018 9:02 pm

*turns computer camera off*

JohnWho
March 16, 2018 9:01 pm

“Climate Change is no laughing matter”
said no one ever with a straight face.
/grin

March 16, 2018 9:03 pm

Great article on climate definition sarcasm, but I was hoping for some actual definitions of some of the common/recent acronyms bantered about. BTW (by the way) I hate acronyms…there are just too many – just spell it out each time and forget the abbreviations CAGW: example:
CAGW Citizens Against Government Waste
CAGW Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming (climate change)
CAGW Cultural Alliance of Greater Washington (Washington, DC)

J Mac
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 16, 2018 9:45 pm

I offer a video of the ultimate fact-based ‘denier’…. and how the climate justice warriors would deal with them/us, if they could get away with it.
Monty Python – Bring Out Your Dead!
https://youtu.be/Sh8mNjeuyV4

J Mac
March 16, 2018 9:40 pm

Niiiiiiiice!

March 16, 2018 9:43 pm

Mann-splaining — “Climate modeling is easy as one, two, tree …”

4TimesAYear
March 16, 2018 9:48 pm

Another one to add. Alarmists are confused. Acidic/acidification/more acidic

March 16, 2018 9:50 pm

Oreskes — “Anthony Weiner / Howard Stern Venn diagram.”

March 16, 2018 9:58 pm

97% of scientists — “Argumentum ad verecundium? Never heard of it. Is that a homeopathy thing?”

Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 6:11 am

Ad verecundiam. Latin for ‘argument from shaming.’

March 16, 2018 10:03 pm

Error bars — “Moral outrage and righteous indignation attenuators.”

JohnWho
Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 6:12 am

I thought an “Error Bar” was a bar where they always served the wrong drinks.

March 16, 2018 10:07 pm

Kelvin scale — “A magic device that makes +0.6 degrees invisible.”

March 16, 2018 10:14 pm

average global temperature — “No, I did not take STEM. I majored in trans-fluid power dynamics in a cis-normative patriarchal paradigm, with a minor in which bathroom to use.”

noaaprogrammer
Reply to  Max Photon
March 16, 2018 10:42 pm

Don’t feel bad Max, I never did get through the multiple choice question on sexual orientation.

Leo Smith
Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 2:39 am

Critical thinking – “No, I did not take STEM. I majored in pharmacology and needlework. Wanna score?”

March 16, 2018 10:21 pm

evidence — “Anecdotes. The more the better!”

March 16, 2018 10:23 pm

precautionary principle — “We got nothin’.”

Leo Smith
Reply to  Max Photon
March 17, 2018 2:41 am

precautionary principle — “We cant work out if doing nothing is worse than doing something, so we just decided to do the profitable popular virtue signalling thing and to hell with the future”

u.k.(us)
March 16, 2018 10:30 pm

I once threw a rock at a hornets nest, a hornet flew into my mouth and stung me. (true story).
Lesson learned, needless to say.
So, I don’t mind stirring up a hornet nest, I just try to keep my mouth shut, old habits die hard 🙂

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  u.k.(us)
March 16, 2018 11:02 pm

Attitude – – – see Bald-faced hornet (I love picture dictionaries)

March 16, 2018 10:33 pm

Wonderful list, Willis!
One recent word, overused of course, is unequivocal. It’s also likely the climatoons don’t know the true meaning.
Some other words used in dubious climate research that could use definition are:
Possibly,
Suggested,
Likely,
Could,
Should,
May…
All of which appear to mean something similar to “Don’t hold us, legally, to any of these statements”.

WBWilson
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:58 am

That’d be a whole nuther dictionary, Willis. Think of OED unabridged. About 26 volumes I think.

Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 12:54 pm

“wrap it tight in some clean package”

Yup! That’s the deal breaker. So many overused weasel words as CYA, not one of those words is clean or tight. Every word according to climate dogma is vague, obscuring and solely meant as wiggle room for inflating fears while protecting derrieres.
Smart thinking, Willis!
Your climate dictionary as listed is great, and informative.

noaaprogrammer
March 16, 2018 10:37 pm

“It’s worse than we thought.” = Time to wake up the masses again with a scary fake scenario caused by climate change.

Editor
March 16, 2018 10:38 pm

Thanks, Willis. I really enjoyed that.
Cheers,
Bob

Nylo
March 16, 2018 10:46 pm

Anybody has a definition of permafrost? I keep finding in the news and even in scientific articles that some scientists call permafrost to soils that are NOT frozen all year round and where trees are therefore capable of growing and do grow. Read any news about the Batagaika crater and you will see what I mean. The place is surrounded by trees, yet they claim that the crater is caused by melting permafrost.

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  Nylo
March 16, 2018 11:04 pm

permafrost – – – see old style freezer

Nylo
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 1:31 am

That’s interesting, thanks. I had the wrong information that temperatures on earth go up the more you dig down. But in these regions it must be vice-versa at least for some upper layers and some time of the year.
Best wishes.

tty
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 2:02 am

Willis:
You forgot the name of the layer that thaws more or less annually. It is called “The Active Layer”.
It tends to be very wet and mobile particularly on slopes.

Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 4:31 am

And… technically… Permafrost isn’t necessarily permanent. It’s any ground (soil, rocks, gravel, etc.) that maintains a temperature at or below 0 °C for two or more consecutive years.
Under the geological definition of “Permafrost,” melting is not unusual or particularly harmful to anything other than roads.
Under the climate “science” definition, Permafrost has been frozen since the Miocene and the melting of even a small volume will be ginormously cataclysmic.

Tom in Florida
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 6:07 am

Permafrost – perpetual state of H. Clinton.

Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 7:22 am

David Middleton: “Under the geological definition of “Permafrost,” melting is not unusual or particularly harmful to anything other than roads.”
Permafrost is harmful to anything built on the surface. Buildings sink over time. (Yes, some modern buildings are built to eliminate the problem; the Alaska Pipeline, too.)

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:15 am

Nylo writes: “I had the wrong information that temperatures on earth go up the more you dig down.
The concept you have stated is called the geothermal gradient.
You are not wrong – just that there are variations.
geothermal variations

Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:22 am

@Bob Cherba…
Learn to recognize flippant, sarcastic quips.

WBWilson
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 11:03 am

Thermokarst

March 16, 2018 10:56 pm

robust – the thing we call our results when our stats are a bust

Kenji
March 16, 2018 10:58 pm

Let me add …
Drought = 2 consecutive days without rain (caused ALWAYS by manmade Global,Warming)
For example … CA’s never ending “drought” has returned(?)
http://droughtmonitor.unl.edu/CurrentMap/StateDroughtMonitor.aspx?CA
Pay no attention to the 12feet of new snow in the Sierra or constant rain over the 3-weeks. Jerry’s Drought will NEVER end

sophocles
Reply to  Kenji
March 17, 2018 4:14 pm

So that would make:
major drought : two consecutive weeks without rain
historic drought three consecutive weeks without rain
never ending drought a summer without [much] rain
Snow doesn’t count.

John F. Hultquist
March 16, 2018 11:10 pm

Nice Willis!
Perhaps you can define “ship of fools”.
Of course some use little boats, sleds, skies, and ice bergs.
The phrase does seem to have an affinity to cAGW adherents.

JohnWho
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 6:15 am

Well, regarding the Alarmists, how about “Shift of Fools”?

John F. Hultquist
Reply to  Willis Eschenbach
March 17, 2018 10:21 am

Thanks for the link.
If we could know who didn’t laugh, we’d know those with hearts of stone.

joelobryan
March 16, 2018 11:36 pm

Happy St Patty’s Day Willis. I think you’re feeling a wee bit cynical.

Donald
March 16, 2018 11:39 pm

Ah, you guys are just so much smarter than everybody else. It’s just a shame there’s not enough of your there to run the whole world better.

March 16, 2018 11:47 pm

“carbon” means “pollution”.

Reply to  Phillip Bratby
March 17, 2018 3:11 pm

Close. Carbon is an element that readily binds with the pollution anion, forming either a gritty black miasma, or billows of white steam, or a major constituent of the atmosphere that acts like a glass “blanket” to trap head and keep women from attaining wage parity, and definitely IS NOT “plant food.”

March 16, 2018 11:49 pm

“unprecedented” – happened all the time in the past, but the millenials and snowflakes don’t do history..

AGW is not Science
Reply to  Phillip Bratby
March 17, 2018 9:02 pm

I was thinking of this version – “Unprecedented – something that happened long enough ago that nobody will remember that you’re lying about it being something that never happened.”

March 16, 2018 11:57 pm

“worse than we previously thought” – we were wrong, therefore why would you believe us now?

AGW is not Science
Reply to  Phillip Bratby
March 17, 2018 9:04 pm

Heh my version of that one – “Worse than we previously thought – not as bad as we previously thought, but we don’t let facts get in the way of a good headline, and we know the gullible masses won’t bother to fact check.”

Frank
March 17, 2018 12:17 am

For the statistically-minded:
Very likely – “Would be wrong about as often as rolling a single die produces a six – in a field where systematic error, confirmation bias, and a need to save the planet didn’t exist.
Virtually certain – “Worthy of mention in the abstract of a traditional science paper.” However, Ioannidis and others have show that perhaps 50% of papers meeting this standard are likely wrong. Before approving a new drug, the FDA normally requires two clinical trials – which they help design and fully audit – demonstrating that the new drug is “virtually certainly” efficacious. Physicists demanded the equivalent of three independent studies showing that the Higgs boson was virtually certain to exist.

Alan Tomalty
Reply to  Frank
March 17, 2018 1:12 am

ya but the gravity wave discovery was not held to the same standard. There is a raging debate about the existence of gravity waves. I think it is another boondoggle. I have lost faith in science.

kaliforniakook
Reply to  Alan Tomalty
March 17, 2018 10:28 am

I haven’t lost faith in science. I have lost faith in scientists.

ferdberple
Reply to  Alan Tomalty
March 17, 2018 7:40 pm

The Advanced LIGO detector was too big to fail?

Bernard Lodge
March 17, 2018 12:27 am

“Radiant Gas” … a gas that radiates heat in all directions
“Carbon Dioxide” … The only radiant gas that only radiates downwards
“15 microns” … wavelength of very low energy emissions
“Carbon Dioxide” …a gas that emits 15 micron, very low low energy radiation that somehow heats up an entire planet.
“Greenhouse Effect” … the heating of an glass-enclosed volume of gas by emissions from an extremely hot star
“Carbon Dioxide” … a cold greenhouse gas whose emissions somehow make the Earth’s surface warm
“Dependent Variable” … a variable that changes after the independent variable has changed first
“Carbon Dioxide” … the only dependent variable in the universe that changes before the independent variable does
“Real Mathematics” … 2 + 2 = 4
“Trenberth Radiation Budget Mathematics … 2 degrees plus 2 degrees = 4 degrees
“Real World Climate Temperature Mathematics” … 2 degrees plus 2 degrees = 2 degrees
QED

Moderately Cross of East Anglia
Reply to  Bernard Lodge
March 17, 2018 2:38 am

And there’s me thinking radiant gas was a nice warm glow from my gas fire on a cold evening, well live and learn!
Thanks for a great giggle Willis and others.
Oh, ocean acidification – the children have just urinated in the sea instead of going to the public toilet.

PaulH
Reply to  Bernard Lodge
March 17, 2018 2:06 pm

I might add:
Carbon – “see Carbon Dioxide”
Carbon Dioxide – “see Carbon”

DeLoss McKnight
March 17, 2018 12:29 am

Great list! No definition of model? Maybe GIGO? Or RWS (Real World Replacement) Or POS (Preferred Observational Substitute)

AGW is not Science
Reply to  DeLoss McKnight
March 17, 2018 9:09 pm

“Climate model – a computer program built upon the assumption that CO2 drives the Earth’s temperature, even though no observation agrees with this mistaken assumption, that we will promote as an accurate simulation of the Earth’s climate to convince the gullible that man’s fossil fuel use is the root of all evil and must be stopped.”

CCB
March 17, 2018 12:57 am

A peer reviewed study suggests = a pre MSc/PhD student wanting more funding to finish the dissertation.

yarpos
March 17, 2018 1:37 am

I was looking/hoping for something on peer review

sophocles
Reply to  yarpos
March 17, 2018 4:16 pm

that would have to be circular with “pal review”

AGW is not Science
Reply to  yarpos
March 17, 2018 9:12 pm

I’ve got one – “Peer review – three of my buddies who ALSO couln’t analyze their way out of a wet paper bag gave it a thumbs up after I assured them I’d do the same for their garbage papers.”

Geoff Sherrington
March 17, 2018 1:42 am

A couple of years ago I was gnashing my teeth from yet another poor quality climate paper, so I directed my unease to a simple exercise to help me calm down.
It does not compete with the Willis effort, but it is meant to be complementary and complimentary, see under Einstienium. Geoff.
http://www.geoffstuff.com/si.xls

Geoff Sherrington
March 17, 2018 1:44 am

Oh dear, I dislike auto corrects.
http://www.geoffstuff.com/periodic.xls

HDHoese
Reply to  Geoff Sherrington
March 17, 2018 7:17 am

Interesting, need to add titles, names of organizations and other impressive official appellations. I suspect there is meaning in there somewhere as when I was in college few outside of an ecology class knew what the word meant. Still not many.
I have collected some to keep from doing yard work. Here are a few.
Collaborative Innovation Center on Forecast and Evaluation of Meteorological Disasters, Nanjing University of Information Science and Technology
Center for Diverse Leadership in Science
Clinical Associate Professor of Environmental Communication#
Department of Earth and Exact Sciences
#This one bothers me much. Maybe have a contest for the longest, dumbest, shortest, etc.

AGW is not Science
Reply to  HDHoese
March 17, 2018 9:14 pm

“IPCC – Intergovernmental Propaganda on Climate Control.”

Geoff Sherrington
Reply to  HDHoese
March 18, 2018 3:56 am

HDH
Did you miss the point of the link to that reference work for Chemists, the Periodic Table of the Elements?
Geoff.

Thx1138
March 17, 2018 1:54 am

I’m predicting an upcoming Tipping Point because my beer glass is empty.

climatereason
Editor
March 17, 2018 1:56 am

Willis
How about these ?
“climate amnesia”
Any weather related event that happened more than 5 years ago.
“Extreme events” See ‘climate amnesia.’
tonyb

March 17, 2018 2:09 am

Cooling, warming, good weather, bad weather = Global warming

Leo Smith
March 17, 2018 2:52 am

For some reason all this reminds me of my teenage years…

Bobby warned us…About the unholy confluence of Leftism and Corporate Marketing

David Dibbell
March 17, 2018 4:02 am

Here’s another suggestion for the dictionary: “Trapped” – what can’t possibly be done with heat on a surface flooded with natural refrigerant, but we’ll keep saying it anyway.

mkelly
March 17, 2018 4:06 am

Willis I did not notice “unprecedented”.

Reply to  mkelly
March 17, 2018 5:13 am

I thought the same…
Unprecedented = “it hasn’t happened since a couple of weeks ago”.

Reply to  Silver Dynamite
March 17, 2018 6:23 am

I commented on “unprecedented” above.

hunter
March 17, 2018 4:13 am

This could easily be a recurring article.
The climatocracy depends explicitly on redefining words, terms and ideas at will.
That along with rewriting history are two pillsrs of the climate consensus foundation.

Jan Janson
March 17, 2018 4:44 am

Tipping point — “We need money right now!”

Craig W
March 17, 2018 5:10 am

Consensus – “Theorist agree with each other on models, but, not actual data”.

knr
March 17, 2018 5:34 am

Climate ‘scientists’ a third rate academic who must thank the lord everyday that as long as they keep claiming climate doom they can get away with any old rubbish. Often they take the form of short and fat , older men with a fixation for goatee beards and planet sized egos, who can turn very nasty if challenged.
(see also failed politician and railway engineer with a side line in writing soft porn.)
Models , the way GIGO can be used to provided ‘proof ‘ for climate scientists work , (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Prediction, the means by which you can make forecasts for so far ahead in time you will either not be alive or long left the professional so cannot be called out in how BS this prediction was , (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Magic Tree, an approach used by climate ‘scientists’ that involved using one tree to ‘prove ‘ the climate for the whole planet in the distant past. (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Critical analysis, the approach which needs to be avoided if you wish to work as a climate scientists . (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Scientific integrate, no valid definition can be found within climate science as this idea has dropped out of use.
Good data, this is data that needs no accuracy, honesty , need not to be supported by good collection methodology or any other norms of science . This instead this is total defined as being data that supports AGW and climate ‘scientists’ career prospects (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Data, that which exist before ‘adjustment’ turns it into good-data and something that climate scientists do not show to others in case they ‘find something wrong with it ‘
Peer Review, the process by which climate ‘scientists’ carryout mutual grooming on each other, normal on the rear section of the body .
97%, the process by which BS is turned into climate science gold , this idea has no mathematical nor logical value beyond ‘nine out of ten cats prefer ‘
Heads you lose , tails I win , this is the process central to climate science by which all is ‘proof ‘ of AGW and nothing can disprove it, some times known as three card trick or find the lady ,found at fairgrounds and equally used by conman and climate ‘scientists ‘ (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Extreme weather, that which is not climate expect claiming it is supports the work of climate ‘scientists’ (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
Climate, this has no fixed definition at , it is term used when and for whatever supports the work of climate ‘scientists’ (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
30 years , a idea of pure ‘moon dust ‘ a number pulled from a hat as means to cover-up that increases in CO2 levels have not lead to an increases in temperatures. Within climate ‘science’ this idea is expressed as 30+n to allow for the need to constantly expend the range when climate doom keeps failing to arrive .
IPCC, a parasitic organism whose food source is AGW , in its own words it ‘does not science ‘ however it does offer opportunities for some very nice holidays for other parasites feeding of the same host body .

Eamon Butler
March 17, 2018 5:44 am

Expert – ”Anyone who agrees with me”.

co2islife
March 17, 2018 6:05 am

Consensus = Last Resort when Facts Don’t FIt Model
Settled Science = Dogma
Scientific Method = Outdated Principle Replaced by Computer Models
Experimentation = Outdated Approach Replaced by Computer Models
Reproducibility = Outdated Approach Replaced by Computer Models, Computer Models Guarantee easy Reproducibility, simply Copy and Paste Code and Data
Denier = Scientists that applies the Scientific Method in Scientific ventures
Conservative = See Denier
H2O = Elephant in the Living Room that must be ignored to make CO2 have any relevance at all
CO2 = The equivalent of Einstein’s Cosmological Constant or the Piltdown Man
Coming Ice Age = Progressive scientific theory du Jour in 1970s and 80s
Global Warming = Progressive scientific theory du Jour in 1990s and 2000s
Climate Change = Progressive scientific theory du Jour in 2010s
Ad Hominin Attach = Approved method of settling Scientific differences when discussing climate change
Racist, Sexist, Homophobe, Abilist, Bigot = someone that relies on Facts and disagrees with the Consensus

Martin457
March 17, 2018 6:08 am

Debate = What happens between like minded scientists when predictions fail.

Yogi Bear
March 17, 2018 6:10 am

natural variability — “We have no idea what the cause was”.
“But we insist that natural variability must be ‘internal’ in our climate models”.
Shadows on the wall of the cave.

Gregory White
March 17, 2018 6:21 am

Climate Change = Natural variability that people generally dislike
Natural Variability = Whether that people generally like

Mark Hansford
March 17, 2018 6:40 am

Hockey stick – thinly disguised club for beating people around the head – occasionally used for sport

KT66
March 17, 2018 6:43 am

Dirty air= CO2 from autos (actually saw that on the 10:00 news)
EV=coal burning automobile?
We need terms that address the conflation of real pollution with “carbon pollution”.

Bruce Cobb
March 17, 2018 6:59 am

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.”
LEWIS CARROLL (Charles L. Dodgson), Through the Looking-Glass
In Climate Wonderland, Humpty Dumptyism is an ever-present feature. It all boils down to ever-more numerous, and sneaky ways of lying.

Gary
March 17, 2018 7:22 am

Teleconnections — mysterious correlations at a great distance.
Robust — pay no attention to that small R2 behind the curtain.

March 17, 2018 7:24 am

Off Topic. Well maybe not.
There’s a new “Sea Level Report Card” study out that making the rounds in media outlets:
Sea-Level Report Cards
Tide gauge data is being extrapolated from 1969 (not 1968 and not 1970 but 1969) out to 2050 for 32 tide gauges Maine to Alaska.
Apparently extrapolation of time lines shorter than the existing data is in vogue.
And it looks like cherry picking start dates is too.

March 17, 2018 7:32 am

predicted sea level rise — “Run for the hills! We’ll all be drowned!”
projections — “It’s a forecast but we don’t stand behind it”.

Yes sea level is their biggest scare and
yes the “It’s a Projection not a Prediction”
non-sense is really over the top.

Just Jenn
March 17, 2018 7:34 am

Ocean: a thin slice of water surrounding the Earth approximately 8m in depth largely ignored as to its impacts to temperature change unless it creates headlines. See also: sea level rise, El Nino/La Nina and Atlantic Deep Water Ocean Current
Sea Level Rise: too variable around the globe to understand, but it rises due to CO2 levels.
El Nino/La Nina: convenient excuses for warmer/cooler weather as long as it fits with rising temperatures due to CO2 levels. Actual occurrence and response of the deep ocean is not to be considered as the ocean is only 8m deep. Excellent excuse to sell headlines.
Atlantic Deep Water Ocean Current: the only deep water conveyor system, found at the bottom of the ocean at 8m. Independent of the so called mythical Antarctic Deep Water Ocean Current–currently not found at ocean bottom depths because the ocean is only 8m deep. See also Antarctica
Gulf Stream: a constant non-changing warm water surface current that responds ONLY to rising CO2 levels and no natural variability. Also in danger of shutting down and throwing Europe into an ice age–oh wait–um..that’s cooling. No the Gulf Stream will INCREASE its veracity cuz it’s getting warmer…yea…definitely warmer…and bigger…yep bigger too…cuz otherwise Europe would be cold and we want hot. Ignore this definition, the Gulf Stream doesn’t matter.
Antarctica: A mythical winter place on the Earth where Penquin’s used to live before they became climate refugees due to no more ice. Also a good place for headlines see glacial calving. Antarctica only exists during the summer in the S. Hemisphere. See S. Hemisphere
Glacial Calving: a totally unnatural cycle of glaciers (mythical masses of ice that are only recognized by news outlets when they can attribute a US state size that cleaves off Antarctica in the summer).
S. Hemisphere: Huh? Oh only exists for El Nino/La Nina events and possibly when something is studied in the Indian Ocean. Apparently Winter is Summer there and Winter is always coming.
CAGW: Beware Summer is Coming.

Just Jenn
Reply to  Just Jenn
March 17, 2018 7:48 am

Winter is never coming…
whoops..that makes more sense.

March 17, 2018 7:37 am

Methane — Eleventy-seven times stronger than CO2, but we don’t ever say how much it will run-up temperature.

Just Jenn
Reply to  Steve Case
March 17, 2018 7:49 am

Methane: only found in cow farts and in bubbles that sink ships in the Bermuda Triangle. As long as you don’t eat McDonald’s or enter the Triangle, you are OK.

Just Jenn
March 17, 2018 7:51 am

Chicken Little: A VERY Wise Individual.

Bruce Cobb
March 17, 2018 8:26 am

Clearly, we’re going to need a bigger “Climate Dictionary”. Pictures would be nice, maybe by Josh. Maybe a “Climate Encyclopedia” is needed. Study of the Climatese language could become a college course. The possibilities are endless.

eyesonu
March 17, 2018 8:33 am

climategate — invisible unhinged wall that fell on the frat party

Donald
March 17, 2018 8:47 am

Climate Skeptics – those who believe skepticism is dogmatic belief in what you want to believe.

HankHenry
March 17, 2018 9:28 am

There’s another word I see a lot and love – robust.

eyesonu
March 17, 2018 9:56 am

IPCC — insidious panel creating corruption
pay-walled — you paid to have it written now you must pay again to read it
data — numbers that are adjusted often

R. Shearer
March 17, 2018 9:57 am

One of these words doesn’t belong: climate, scientist.

eyesonu
March 17, 2018 10:07 am

climate scientist — One who studies the political winds of grant applications
high degree of confidence — I’m always right so don’t question me
point of no return — Everyone at the party got too drunk from the koolaid to get home

jeff hayes
March 17, 2018 10:12 am

Tipping Point – The moment when all the non-“climate scientists” realise it has all been a colossal scam and refuse to pay any more for “climate research”, hence the “climate scientist’s” refrain: “We must avoid the tipping point at all costs!”

March 17, 2018 10:16 am

Climate action — what Science says we have to do.

David, UK
March 17, 2018 10:18 am
J Mac
Reply to  David, UK
March 17, 2018 11:19 am

David,
Thanks – Your video strikes very close to the truth. We have had repeated ‘protests’ in Seattle and Tacoma ports, whenever oil drilling support ships are in harbor. These protests invariably are led by oh-so-environmentally-concerned activists, wearing oil-derived synthetic clothing, paddling oil-derived plastic kayaks with oil-derived plastic paddles, shouting through electronically amplified ‘bull horns’, and transported to and from the protests by cars and aircraft that use oil-derived fuels.
The greedy ‘blood sucking’ parasite of your video is the perfect parody of our oil-sucking environmental hypocrite protestors…. just perfect!

March 17, 2018 10:20 am

%97 — climate scientists who agree with Bill Nye.

David, UK
Reply to  Canman
March 17, 2018 1:10 pm

Never trust a man who indulges in such affectations as wearing a bow-tie. I guarantee that man will be a fake and a fraud.

Wharfplank
March 17, 2018 10:38 am

Climate science would become great fun if we could just get two words added…non-performance clawback.

Bruce Cobb
March 17, 2018 10:49 am

debate – “Something we always lose, therefore refuse to engage in, and have declared is over”.
overwhelming evidence – “Something our carbon-based, computer-driven models produce, once we feed it with our special data”.

March 17, 2018 11:55 am

When I glanced at the title,
my first thought was:
I hope this article will be comedy,
just like modern climate “science”
… and I was not
disappointed.
Well, I actually was somewhat
disappointed that Eschenbach,
who has written one bazillion
good serious articles here,
can write funny articles too …
… but then I realized he didn’t
have to write many jokes —
— he just defined the words
as the leftists do,
which we skeptics
see as comedy !
When you combine government
bureaucrats, politicians and
computer games, what you get
is non-science, better known as
nonsense !
I would like to offer another definition:
.
CO2 = the “miracle molecule”
that can cause anything
that frightens the chronically fearful.
That phrase was stolen from a comment
about another article, made by someone
else, who deserves credit, but I will
not remember his name,
until 20 seconds
after I post this comment.
My climate blog
Over 15,000 page views so far:
http://www.elOnionBloggle.Blogspot.com

Reply to  Richard Greene
March 20, 2018 10:57 am

“CO2 = the “miracle molecule”
that can cause anything
that frightens the chronically fearful.”
I haven’t been online since the last post,
but realized I stole (borrowed)
most of the CO2 definition above
from a comment by ALLAN MACRAE,
about another article — ALLAN is the
ALL CAPS moniker guy whose comments
are among the best at this website.
Writing that good just had to be
stolen and repeated, IMHO.

Peta of Newark
March 17, 2018 1:46 pm

Kinda alluded to in the discussion but ain’t the biggest (unfunny) joke of this climate thing= Thermometer?
Define: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/thermo-

Definition of thermo- in English:
thermo-
combining form
Relating to heat.
‘thermodynamics’
‘thermoelectric’

What to notice= NOT temperature
….which is exactly what they’re being used for right now.
A thermometer should measure and/or record energy
The joke is on *everyone* because where is the conversion factor for temp>climate, it’s just assumed everyone knows it.
A real/actual climate measuring station, in my book, should not be a silly little white box with a thermometer inside and a wind speed gauge.
It should be a contraption that records every Joule (as best it can) of energy inside a cube of (say) 1,000 metres on a side – the lower face of said cube being maybe 10metres below ground level.
And they can/should be everywhere – yes – inside cities and airports
And no to BoM Australia, one reading per second is ‘appeasement’ at its worst, one record every half hour will be fine.
As it ‘appens, very large numbers of such things already do exist.
Already ‘in position’ in all the places where ‘climate’ is important.
And they are incredibly sensitive.
You’re sitting inside one right now.
Only problem being the man/machine interface – how to extract the trend lines?
Last little point, subject= self-awareness.
Mostly as Baby Boomers, the folks we are taking the P out of here are, mostly, our own children

dmacleo
March 17, 2018 2:54 pm

carbon dioxide — “The secret knob that controls the climate”.
************************************************************************************
LOL in todays socio-political times could even phrase that (not to “mansplain” this here….) as male genitalia — “The secret knob that controls the climate”.

March 17, 2018 3:40 pm

Geologic history — “Something that never happened”

March 17, 2018 3:59 pm

How about
“As the climate warms” – “In the name of Gaia, the merciful and compassionate.”
“Impacted by climate change” – “Happened on a planet with an atmosphere and an ocean.”
“Equilibrium climate sensitivity” – “When the cows come home” (climate never has and never will attain equilibrium.)

donald penman
March 17, 2018 4:59 pm

Global warming fears could be the result of a spelling mistake because clearly there is no “F” in global warming. The reality is that those in power think we think we should believe all this nonsense of climate change and give up our money to them for no reason. at all.

Editor
March 17, 2018 5:00 pm

My suggestion:
Adjustment: The only way we can turn data into scary numbers.
Then “climate feedback” becomes: See Adjustment.

March 18, 2018 1:00 am

human fingerprint — “We can’t explain what caused it, so it must be from people acting badly”.
In recent years, scientists have successfully identified the human fingerprint on hot years, heatwaves, and a range of other temperature extremes around the world. But as everyone knows, climate change affects more than just temperature.
The “signal” of human-induced climate change is not always clear in other weather events, such as cold snaps or episodes of extreme rainfall.
Three new studies, released today as part of a special edition of the Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society, take a closer look at two such events, both of which happened in southern Australia in mid-2016: the frosts that hit Western Australia’s South West, and the extremely wet weather that hit much of southeastern Australia during that year’s winter and early spring.
https://theconversation.com/not-just-heat-even-our-spring-frosts-can-bear-the-fingerprint-of-climate-change-89029
Can you imagine a court case where they used knife wounds as evidence of poisoning.

jim hogg
Reply to  Robert B
March 18, 2018 7:35 am

Sorry, your link is very far from conclusive, and relies too much on the assumption that AGW is real for starters. The studies referred to may “suggest” there’s evidence of a “human fingerprint” but that’s all they do at most. It certainly should be possible to demonstrate changes in climate on a local basis that reveal a “human fingerprint” where soil use or tree cover has been considerably modified, but what is being discussed in the link are observable but only speculatively explained variations (which may or may not be natural) predicated on the claimed but unproven existence of AGW.
Believers believe in their Gods, however absurd, however unlikely, and those who believe should surely be aware of the human tendency to believe and should look very carefully at what they believe and why, in every realm of their lives – as most genuine sceptics hopefully already do. Feynman said that the easiest people to fool are ourselves. Someone once wrote on here that humans are “belief machines”. Claims worth taking very seriously in my view.

Reply to  jim hogg
March 19, 2018 2:17 am

“Sorry, your link is very far from conclusive,”
You’re too generous. Read my final paragraph.

March 18, 2018 3:42 am

climate model — “My published, but biased, opinion without me having to justify reasons for it”.

philincalifornia
March 18, 2018 3:57 am

overwhelming evidence – “A phrase that is always followed by no evidence”

jim hogg
March 18, 2018 6:49 am

Tipping Point:- place where crap theories are dumped; place on the space-time continuum that recedes ever so slightly faster than events can approach it; innocent sounding but deadly time and place where scary, legendary and irreversible things happen to naughty people; a mythical animal with very sharp teeth, vengeful tendencies, that can only be summoned by second rate academics, and apparently is very similar in appearance to grandma walking backwards in a kinda weird cloak.

JB Say
March 18, 2018 7:40 am

____ than previously thought – we are doubling down on doom porn
As in “Scientists increasingly believe that devastating winter storms like Bomb Cyclone Beelzebub are more directly linked to tailpipe emissions and cow flatulence than previously thought.”

Daniel G.
March 18, 2018 9:07 am

Adjustments: Fabrication of Data

JJW
March 18, 2018 10:01 am

“Ever” — qualifier of superlatives to indicate things that haven’t happened since the Earth was first formed in 1970.

JJW
March 18, 2018 10:07 am

“Polar Vortex” — cold air traveling south for the winter because it’s gotten too hot at the north pole.

Gunga Din
March 18, 2018 2:28 pm

Adjustments = The fudge factor(s) required to past observations to make present BS projections about the future seem palatable.

Richard G.
March 18, 2018 4:31 pm

consensus: the opinion of all those who agree, excluding all those who disagree.

March 18, 2018 5:01 pm

Willis, thank you for the complete and enduring guide to secret jargon.

paul courtney
March 19, 2018 12:38 pm

Sorry to be so late with this. “Black hole”: Matter so dense, with gravity so powerful, nothing, including light, can get out. Where Dr. Mann has placed the “non-temperature-sensitive” paleoclimate proxy data.

barn E. rubble
Reply to  paul courtney
March 20, 2018 5:08 am

RE: “Where Dr. Mann has placed the “non-temperature-sensitive” paleoclimate proxy data.”
Which reminds me; I thought ‘crap’ meant something different in climatology circles. IE: CG emails. We also learned that ‘trick’ meant something different. Funny how both came up when Mann was the subject . . .

donaitkin
March 21, 2018 3:11 pm

Willis, I’ve enjoyed your many contributions here, but this one I had to share with my own readers. Predictably, those of the orthodox persuasion can’t think of their own contributions. The usual response is that making humour out of climate change just shows how threadbare the sceptics’ arguments are…
http://donaitkin.com/a-climate-dictionary/

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