The Climate Dictionary

Guest Post by Willis Eschenbach

I see that there is some confusion over terminology in the climate field. In response, I’ve put together a list of common terms, along with what far too often they mean in climate science. So without further ado, here’s my climate dictionary.

climate dictionary.png

TERM                                                    DEFINITION

an expected result of global warming — “We predicted warming and got a heavy snowfall instead”.

anthropogenic — see “human fingerprint”.

anthropogenic change — “It’s warmer than usual”.

anthropogenic climate change — “Weather we don’t like”.

autocorrelation — “Say what? We don’t have to deal with that”.

Bonferroni correction — see “autocorrelation”

carbon dioxide — “The secret knob that controls the climate”.

cause — “Greenhouse gases”

climate — “It’s warmer than usual”.

climate change — “What ‘global warming’ became after we repeatedly predicted warming and got heavy snowfalls instead”.

climate feedback — see “natural variability”.

confounding factors — “Things that we choose to ignore.”

coupled non-linear chaotic system — ” y = ax + b “

effect — “dangerous anthropogenic global warming”

ever — “qualifier of superlatives to indicate things that haven’t happened since the Earth was first formed in 1970”.

external forces — see “other factors”

human fingerprint — “We can’t explain what caused it, so it must be from people acting badly”.

hundred-year flood — “Any flood recurring more than one news cycle apart”.

Industrial Revolution — “The time of the climate Eden when the temperature was exactly right”.

IPCC Conference of the Parties — “A recurring party attended by only the wokest of the woke”.

it is well known — “I believe this”.

it’s a boundary value problem — “This depends on future boundaries we can’t predict but we’ll act like we can.”

multiproxy study — “We left out the proxies that don’t agree with our theory”.

natural climate fluctuation — “We don’t know why it goes up and down”.

natural variability — “We have no idea what the cause was”.

naturally occurring dynamics — “Something happened that we can’t explain”.

other factors — “Deus ex machina”.

phase reversal — “Cause and effect just went 180° out of phase for no reason”.

predicted sea level rise — “Run for the hills! We’ll all be drowned!”

projections — “It’s a forecast but we don’t stand behind it”.

proxies show — “One tree in Yamal had this to say”.

regime change — “Cause and effect just went 180° out of phase for no reason”.

renewable energy — “This solution requires extensive subsidies”.

requires further study — “Give us more taxpayer money”.

social cost of carbon — “Our analyses will completely ignore the benefits of fossil fuels and the greening of the planet”.

the effect of various lag times — “Things that don’t line up can be made to line up”.

weather — “It’s colder than usual”.

well within expectations – “It’s colder than usual”.


 

Finally, we have the IPCC Likelihood Scale:

Virtually certain – “All my cool scientist friends agree”.

Very likely – “We really hope this is true”.

Likely – “Two climate models out of three agree”.

About as likely as not – “Nobody has a clue”.

Unlikely – “This outcome offends us”.

Very unlikely – “We really don’t want you going down that path”.

Exceptionally unlikely – “Stephen McIntyre said it first so it can’t possibly be true.”

Best to all,

w.

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187 thoughts on “The Climate Dictionary

    • Off Topic:
      Well maybe not.
      There’s a new “Sea Level Report Card” study that is making the rounds in media outlets:
      Sea-Level Report Cards
      Tide gauge data is being extrapolated from 1969 (not 1968 and not 1970 but 1969) out to 2050 for 32 tide gauges Maine to Alaska.
      Apparently extrapolation of time lines shorter than the existing data is in vogue.

  1. There’s another one in an adjacent wuwt post: Climate Justice—–ie——-“give us money”.

  2. I always try to reduce things down. Weather can be reduced down to Precipitation, wind and temp. Climate is the range of these three factors in a given region. simple.

    • The reason why the PhDs can get away with that equation for a non linear system is that they give the coefficient of x (which is “a” ( in the equation above )) magical qualities. In some of their equations a can even be negative. The standard model basic equation for global warming is
      Heat anomaly = @T + Heat forcing
      The Heat anomaly is a fictitious number and is only non zero if not in equilibrium so they set it to ZERO to have an equilibrium
      That means that -@T = Heat forcing
      Since T is in K and Heat forcing is in watts/m2 they assign the units of @ to be (watts/m2*K)
      Okay so the 2 terms are now in the same units but at equilibrium it means as Heat forcing goes up the left side will always be negative. Doesnt make sense so to make it work in the climate models they had to put the coefficent positive. Voodoo math

  3. You left out “tipping point.” = The point of no return that occurs when nobody alive now will ever see it.

    • Mmm … close, but it’s lacking something. I do like your idea of defining “tipping point”, I’d missed that one … how about
      climate tipping point — “An invisible cliff we’re going to march over to our deaths any day soon. Trust me.”.
      Better, I think, but probably that’s just me …
      The crazy thing about “tipping points” to me is that the only way we see the cliff is after we’ve gone over it. We look back at something that has a huge swing in some climate variable and we say “Yep. Sure ‘nuf. That was clearly a tipping point.”
      However, that explains nothing. It’s just calling a particular cliff a “tipping point”. That’s naming, not explaining
      So we name certain past events “tipping points”. But looking into the future is an entirely different matter. I know of no one who can even begin to define what the signs of an approaching “tipping point” might be. What will be the visible evidence of the impending tipping? How will we know the end is near? Will our old men dream dreams, and our young men see visions? What are the forerunners of impending doom? Nobody seems to know what such an approaching cliff might look like, they just say the magic incantation “tipping point”.
      w.

      • Willis, your comment is spot on – “The crazy thing about “tipping points” to me is that the only way we see the cliff is after we’ve gone over it” as it captures the essence of the use of the term – it is a point we have already passed, probably.
        Tipping point – any numerical value on an undefined scale that has already been reached, or will be reached momentarily, about which nothing can be done because it is already too late.

      • “Tipping Point” – scary sounding name given to imminently likely thresholds which were exceeded many times in the past without any of the supposedly awful consequences.”

      • Tipping Point = (past tense) “It’s still not too late to send us money.” (present tense) “Our projection says send us money now or else!” (future tense) The point where the projection trips over reality.

      • Tipping Point – the Point at which luxury liners flip upside down when hit by a tidal wave caused by global warming.

      • You can’t see a tipping point just by looking at the history. Example: A tipping point determines whether you catch your train. Your history either records you sitting in the train, or sitting in a waiting room. To determine that there was a tipping point, you need a time table.

    • “Ante hoc ergo propter hoc” = “the relationship between CO2 and warming is complicated” (see “complicated”)
      “complicated” = “Al Gore just finished using Mike’s Nature trick to hide the lag”

  4. Great article on climate definition sarcasm, but I was hoping for some actual definitions of some of the common/recent acronyms bantered about. BTW (by the way) I hate acronyms…there are just too many – just spell it out each time and forget the abbreviations CAGW: example:
    CAGW Citizens Against Government Waste
    CAGW Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming (climate change)
    CAGW Cultural Alliance of Greater Washington (Washington, DC)

  5. Steven Mosher March 16, 2018 at 7:20 pm

    guide to strawmanning is a better title.

    Thanks for your comment, Mosh. Are these definitions “strawmen”? Let’s consider this one:

    regime change — “Cause and effect just went 180° out of phase for no reason”.

    I hear this one over and over from both sides of the aisle. Both alarmists and skeptics use it as a hand-waving way to explain that their favorite theory just ran aground on a reef of solid facts.
    So no, not a strawman in any way, shape or form.
    As to the others, if you laughed when you read any particular one of them, that’s clear evidence that that one is NOT a strawman … it’s gotta be close to reality to make you laugh.
    Now, if you want to add some definitions aimed at skeptics, I’m totally down with that. Some of the ones in the other comments have been quite good, I plan to add some of them to the head post, glad to add yours as well …
    Best regards,
    w.

  6. average global temperature — “No, I did not take STEM. I majored in trans-fluid power dynamics in a cis-normative patriarchal paradigm, with a minor in which bathroom to use.”

    • Don’t feel bad Max, I never did get through the multiple choice question on sexual orientation.

    • Critical thinking – “No, I did not take STEM. I majored in pharmacology and needlework. Wanna score?”

    • precautionary principle — “We cant work out if doing nothing is worse than doing something, so we just decided to do the profitable popular virtue signalling thing and to hell with the future”

  7. I once threw a rock at a hornets nest, a hornet flew into my mouth and stung me. (true story).
    Lesson learned, needless to say.
    So, I don’t mind stirring up a hornet nest, I just try to keep my mouth shut, old habits die hard 🙂

  8. Wonderful list, Willis!
    One recent word, overused of course, is unequivocal. It’s also likely the climatoons don’t know the true meaning.
    Some other words used in dubious climate research that could use definition are:
    Possibly,
    Suggested,
    Likely,
    Could,
    Should,
    May…
    All of which appear to mean something similar to “Don’t hold us, legally, to any of these statements”.

    • Thanks, Theo. I had thought of wandering into the wide, wild, wonderful world of weasel words, just to prove that I’m an alliterate man …
      … but then I thought about how long the list is: could, might, possibly, conceivably, likely, ought to, is predicted to, may, simulations show, projections demonstrate, probable … the number of words used to distance the author from their own claims is so long that I couldn’t figure out how to wrap it tight in some clean package for a dictionary. So I passed it by.
      w.

      • That’d be a whole nuther dictionary, Willis. Think of OED unabridged. About 26 volumes I think.

      • “wrap it tight in some clean package”

        Yup! That’s the deal breaker. So many overused weasel words as CYA, not one of those words is clean or tight. Every word according to climate dogma is vague, obscuring and solely meant as wiggle room for inflating fears while protecting derrieres.
        Smart thinking, Willis!
        Your climate dictionary as listed is great, and informative.

  9. “It’s worse than we thought.” = Time to wake up the masses again with a scary fake scenario caused by climate change.

  10. Anybody has a definition of permafrost? I keep finding in the news and even in scientific articles that some scientists call permafrost to soils that are NOT frozen all year round and where trees are therefore capable of growing and do grow. Read any news about the Batagaika crater and you will see what I mean. The place is surrounded by trees, yet they claim that the crater is caused by melting permafrost.

    • Nylo, permafrost is a sub-surface layer that is indeed frozen year-round. The earth above the permafrost layer is like most soil, in that it freezes in winter and thaws in the spring; but below it, in the permafrost regions it is always frozen. As a result, if the permafrost layer is deep enough below the surface, trees and grass can grow in the overlying soil.
      Now, if that deep frozen layer thaws out and liquifies, as you know, the volume of the ice is larger than the corresponding volume of the water it melts into. And the volume difference is greater in soil, because the ice forms as a bunch of individual crystals, which take up much more room than solid ice.
      As a result of both the volume change and the liquefaction of the permafrost layer, the earth above it can form a crater, and the trees growing there can fall into the crater.
      What an amazing planet!
      My best to you.
      w.

      • That’s interesting, thanks. I had the wrong information that temperatures on earth go up the more you dig down. But in these regions it must be vice-versa at least for some upper layers and some time of the year.
        Best wishes.

      • Willis:
        You forgot the name of the layer that thaws more or less annually. It is called “The Active Layer”.
        It tends to be very wet and mobile particularly on slopes.

      • And… technically… Permafrost isn’t necessarily permanent. It’s any ground (soil, rocks, gravel, etc.) that maintains a temperature at or below 0 °C for two or more consecutive years.
        Under the geological definition of “Permafrost,” melting is not unusual or particularly harmful to anything other than roads.
        Under the climate “science” definition, Permafrost has been frozen since the Miocene and the melting of even a small volume will be ginormously cataclysmic.

      • David Middleton: “Under the geological definition of “Permafrost,” melting is not unusual or particularly harmful to anything other than roads.”
        Permafrost is harmful to anything built on the surface. Buildings sink over time. (Yes, some modern buildings are built to eliminate the problem; the Alaska Pipeline, too.)

      • Nylo writes: “I had the wrong information that temperatures on earth go up the more you dig down.
        The concept you have stated is called the geothermal gradient.
        You are not wrong – just that there are variations.
        geothermal variations

    • So that would make:
      major drought : two consecutive weeks without rain
      historic drought three consecutive weeks without rain
      never ending drought a summer without [much] rain
      Snow doesn’t count.

  11. Nice Willis!
    Perhaps you can define “ship of fools”.
    Of course some use little boats, sleds, skies, and ice bergs.
    The phrase does seem to have an affinity to cAGW adherents.

  12. Ah, you guys are just so much smarter than everybody else. It’s just a shame there’s not enough of your there to run the whole world better.

    • Close. Carbon is an element that readily binds with the pollution anion, forming either a gritty black miasma, or billows of white steam, or a major constituent of the atmosphere that acts like a glass “blanket” to trap head and keep women from attaining wage parity, and definitely IS NOT “plant food.”

    • I was thinking of this version – “Unprecedented – something that happened long enough ago that nobody will remember that you’re lying about it being something that never happened.”

    • Heh my version of that one – “Worse than we previously thought – not as bad as we previously thought, but we don’t let facts get in the way of a good headline, and we know the gullible masses won’t bother to fact check.”

  13. For the statistically-minded:
    Very likely – “Would be wrong about as often as rolling a single die produces a six – in a field where systematic error, confirmation bias, and a need to save the planet didn’t exist.
    Virtually certain – “Worthy of mention in the abstract of a traditional science paper.” However, Ioannidis and others have show that perhaps 50% of papers meeting this standard are likely wrong. Before approving a new drug, the FDA normally requires two clinical trials – which they help design and fully audit – demonstrating that the new drug is “virtually certainly” efficacious. Physicists demanded the equivalent of three independent studies showing that the Higgs boson was virtually certain to exist.

  14. “Radiant Gas” … a gas that radiates heat in all directions
    “Carbon Dioxide” … The only radiant gas that only radiates downwards
    “15 microns” … wavelength of very low energy emissions
    “Carbon Dioxide” …a gas that emits 15 micron, very low low energy radiation that somehow heats up an entire planet.
    “Greenhouse Effect” … the heating of an glass-enclosed volume of gas by emissions from an extremely hot star
    “Carbon Dioxide” … a cold greenhouse gas whose emissions somehow make the Earth’s surface warm
    “Dependent Variable” … a variable that changes after the independent variable has changed first
    “Carbon Dioxide” … the only dependent variable in the universe that changes before the independent variable does
    “Real Mathematics” … 2 + 2 = 4
    “Trenberth Radiation Budget Mathematics … 2 degrees plus 2 degrees = 4 degrees
    “Real World Climate Temperature Mathematics” … 2 degrees plus 2 degrees = 2 degrees
    QED

    • And there’s me thinking radiant gas was a nice warm glow from my gas fire on a cold evening, well live and learn!
      Thanks for a great giggle Willis and others.
      Oh, ocean acidification – the children have just urinated in the sea instead of going to the public toilet.

  15. Great list! No definition of model? Maybe GIGO? Or RWS (Real World Replacement) Or POS (Preferred Observational Substitute)

    • “Climate model – a computer program built upon the assumption that CO2 drives the Earth’s temperature, even though no observation agrees with this mistaken assumption, that we will promote as an accurate simulation of the Earth’s climate to convince the gullible that man’s fossil fuel use is the root of all evil and must be stopped.”

  16. A peer reviewed study suggests = a pre MSc/PhD student wanting more funding to finish the dissertation.

    • I’ve got one – “Peer review – three of my buddies who ALSO couln’t analyze their way out of a wet paper bag gave it a thumbs up after I assured them I’d do the same for their garbage papers.”

  17. A couple of years ago I was gnashing my teeth from yet another poor quality climate paper, so I directed my unease to a simple exercise to help me calm down.
    It does not compete with the Willis effort, but it is meant to be complementary and complimentary, see under Einstienium. Geoff.
    http://www.geoffstuff.com/si.xls

    • Interesting, need to add titles, names of organizations and other impressive official appellations. I suspect there is meaning in there somewhere as when I was in college few outside of an ecology class knew what the word meant. Still not many.
      I have collected some to keep from doing yard work. Here are a few.
      Collaborative Innovation Center on Forecast and Evaluation of Meteorological Disasters, Nanjing University of Information Science and Technology
      Center for Diverse Leadership in Science
      Clinical Associate Professor of Environmental Communication#
      Department of Earth and Exact Sciences
      #This one bothers me much. Maybe have a contest for the longest, dumbest, shortest, etc.

      • HDH
        Did you miss the point of the link to that reference work for Chemists, the Periodic Table of the Elements?
        Geoff.

  18. Willis
    How about these ?
    “climate amnesia”
    Any weather related event that happened more than 5 years ago.
    “Extreme events” See ‘climate amnesia.’
    tonyb

  19. For some reason all this reminds me of my teenage years…

    Bobby warned us…About the unholy confluence of Leftism and Corporate Marketing

  20. Here’s another suggestion for the dictionary: “Trapped” – what can’t possibly be done with heat on a surface flooded with natural refrigerant, but we’ll keep saying it anyway.

  21. This could easily be a recurring article.
    The climatocracy depends explicitly on redefining words, terms and ideas at will.
    That along with rewriting history are two pillsrs of the climate consensus foundation.

  22. Climate ‘scientists’ a third rate academic who must thank the lord everyday that as long as they keep claiming climate doom they can get away with any old rubbish. Often they take the form of short and fat , older men with a fixation for goatee beards and planet sized egos, who can turn very nasty if challenged.
    (see also failed politician and railway engineer with a side line in writing soft porn.)
    Models , the way GIGO can be used to provided ‘proof ‘ for climate scientists work , (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Prediction, the means by which you can make forecasts for so far ahead in time you will either not be alive or long left the professional so cannot be called out in how BS this prediction was , (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Magic Tree, an approach used by climate ‘scientists’ that involved using one tree to ‘prove ‘ the climate for the whole planet in the distant past. (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Critical analysis, the approach which needs to be avoided if you wish to work as a climate scientists . (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Scientific integrate, no valid definition can be found within climate science as this idea has dropped out of use.
    Good data, this is data that needs no accuracy, honesty , need not to be supported by good collection methodology or any other norms of science . This instead this is total defined as being data that supports AGW and climate ‘scientists’ career prospects (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Data, that which exist before ‘adjustment’ turns it into good-data and something that climate scientists do not show to others in case they ‘find something wrong with it ‘
    Peer Review, the process by which climate ‘scientists’ carryout mutual grooming on each other, normal on the rear section of the body .
    97%, the process by which BS is turned into climate science gold , this idea has no mathematical nor logical value beyond ‘nine out of ten cats prefer ‘
    Heads you lose , tails I win , this is the process central to climate science by which all is ‘proof ‘ of AGW and nothing can disprove it, some times known as three card trick or find the lady ,found at fairgrounds and equally used by conman and climate ‘scientists ‘ (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Extreme weather, that which is not climate expect claiming it is supports the work of climate ‘scientists’ (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    Climate, this has no fixed definition at , it is term used when and for whatever supports the work of climate ‘scientists’ (see also definition of climate ‘scientists)
    30 years , a idea of pure ‘moon dust ‘ a number pulled from a hat as means to cover-up that increases in CO2 levels have not lead to an increases in temperatures. Within climate ‘science’ this idea is expressed as 30+n to allow for the need to constantly expend the range when climate doom keeps failing to arrive .
    IPCC, a parasitic organism whose food source is AGW , in its own words it ‘does not science ‘ however it does offer opportunities for some very nice holidays for other parasites feeding of the same host body .

  23. Consensus = Last Resort when Facts Don’t FIt Model
    Settled Science = Dogma
    Scientific Method = Outdated Principle Replaced by Computer Models
    Experimentation = Outdated Approach Replaced by Computer Models
    Reproducibility = Outdated Approach Replaced by Computer Models, Computer Models Guarantee easy Reproducibility, simply Copy and Paste Code and Data
    Denier = Scientists that applies the Scientific Method in Scientific ventures
    Conservative = See Denier
    H2O = Elephant in the Living Room that must be ignored to make CO2 have any relevance at all
    CO2 = The equivalent of Einstein’s Cosmological Constant or the Piltdown Man
    Coming Ice Age = Progressive scientific theory du Jour in 1970s and 80s
    Global Warming = Progressive scientific theory du Jour in 1990s and 2000s
    Climate Change = Progressive scientific theory du Jour in 2010s
    Ad Hominin Attach = Approved method of settling Scientific differences when discussing climate change
    Racist, Sexist, Homophobe, Abilist, Bigot = someone that relies on Facts and disagrees with the Consensus

  24. natural variability — “We have no idea what the cause was”.
    “But we insist that natural variability must be ‘internal’ in our climate models”.
    Shadows on the wall of the cave.

  25. Climate Change = Natural variability that people generally dislike
    Natural Variability = Whether that people generally like

  26. Hockey stick – thinly disguised club for beating people around the head – occasionally used for sport

  27. Dirty air= CO2 from autos (actually saw that on the 10:00 news)
    EV=coal burning automobile?
    We need terms that address the conflation of real pollution with “carbon pollution”.

  28. “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.”
    LEWIS CARROLL (Charles L. Dodgson), Through the Looking-Glass
    In Climate Wonderland, Humpty Dumptyism is an ever-present feature. It all boils down to ever-more numerous, and sneaky ways of lying.

  29. Teleconnections — mysterious correlations at a great distance.
    Robust — pay no attention to that small R2 behind the curtain.

  30. Off Topic. Well maybe not.
    There’s a new “Sea Level Report Card” study out that making the rounds in media outlets:
    Sea-Level Report Cards
    Tide gauge data is being extrapolated from 1969 (not 1968 and not 1970 but 1969) out to 2050 for 32 tide gauges Maine to Alaska.
    Apparently extrapolation of time lines shorter than the existing data is in vogue.
    And it looks like cherry picking start dates is too.

  31. predicted sea level rise — “Run for the hills! We’ll all be drowned!”
    projections — “It’s a forecast but we don’t stand behind it”.

    Yes sea level is their biggest scare and
    yes the “It’s a Projection not a Prediction”
    non-sense is really over the top.

  32. Ocean: a thin slice of water surrounding the Earth approximately 8m in depth largely ignored as to its impacts to temperature change unless it creates headlines. See also: sea level rise, El Nino/La Nina and Atlantic Deep Water Ocean Current
    Sea Level Rise: too variable around the globe to understand, but it rises due to CO2 levels.
    El Nino/La Nina: convenient excuses for warmer/cooler weather as long as it fits with rising temperatures due to CO2 levels. Actual occurrence and response of the deep ocean is not to be considered as the ocean is only 8m deep. Excellent excuse to sell headlines.
    Atlantic Deep Water Ocean Current: the only deep water conveyor system, found at the bottom of the ocean at 8m. Independent of the so called mythical Antarctic Deep Water Ocean Current–currently not found at ocean bottom depths because the ocean is only 8m deep. See also Antarctica
    Gulf Stream: a constant non-changing warm water surface current that responds ONLY to rising CO2 levels and no natural variability. Also in danger of shutting down and throwing Europe into an ice age–oh wait–um..that’s cooling. No the Gulf Stream will INCREASE its veracity cuz it’s getting warmer…yea…definitely warmer…and bigger…yep bigger too…cuz otherwise Europe would be cold and we want hot. Ignore this definition, the Gulf Stream doesn’t matter.
    Antarctica: A mythical winter place on the Earth where Penquin’s used to live before they became climate refugees due to no more ice. Also a good place for headlines see glacial calving. Antarctica only exists during the summer in the S. Hemisphere. See S. Hemisphere
    Glacial Calving: a totally unnatural cycle of glaciers (mythical masses of ice that are only recognized by news outlets when they can attribute a US state size that cleaves off Antarctica in the summer).
    S. Hemisphere: Huh? Oh only exists for El Nino/La Nina events and possibly when something is studied in the Indian Ocean. Apparently Winter is Summer there and Winter is always coming.
    CAGW: Beware Summer is Coming.

    • Methane: only found in cow farts and in bubbles that sink ships in the Bermuda Triangle. As long as you don’t eat McDonald’s or enter the Triangle, you are OK.

  33. Clearly, we’re going to need a bigger “Climate Dictionary”. Pictures would be nice, maybe by Josh. Maybe a “Climate Encyclopedia” is needed. Study of the Climatese language could become a college course. The possibilities are endless.

  34. Climate Skeptics – those who believe skepticism is dogmatic belief in what you want to believe.

  35. IPCC — insidious panel creating corruption
    pay-walled — you paid to have it written now you must pay again to read it
    data — numbers that are adjusted often

  36. climate scientist — One who studies the political winds of grant applications
    high degree of confidence — I’m always right so don’t question me
    point of no return — Everyone at the party got too drunk from the koolaid to get home

  37. Tipping Point – The moment when all the non-“climate scientists” realise it has all been a colossal scam and refuse to pay any more for “climate research”, hence the “climate scientist’s” refrain: “We must avoid the tipping point at all costs!”

    • David,
      Thanks – Your video strikes very close to the truth. We have had repeated ‘protests’ in Seattle and Tacoma ports, whenever oil drilling support ships are in harbor. These protests invariably are led by oh-so-environmentally-concerned activists, wearing oil-derived synthetic clothing, paddling oil-derived plastic kayaks with oil-derived plastic paddles, shouting through electronically amplified ‘bull horns’, and transported to and from the protests by cars and aircraft that use oil-derived fuels.
      The greedy ‘blood sucking’ parasite of your video is the perfect parody of our oil-sucking environmental hypocrite protestors…. just perfect!

    • Never trust a man who indulges in such affectations as wearing a bow-tie. I guarantee that man will be a fake and a fraud.

  38. Climate science would become great fun if we could just get two words added…non-performance clawback.

  39. debate – “Something we always lose, therefore refuse to engage in, and have declared is over”.
    overwhelming evidence – “Something our carbon-based, computer-driven models produce, once we feed it with our special data”.

  40. When I glanced at the title,
    my first thought was:
    I hope this article will be comedy,
    just like modern climate “science”
    … and I was not
    disappointed.
    Well, I actually was somewhat
    disappointed that Eschenbach,
    who has written one bazillion
    good serious articles here,
    can write funny articles too …
    … but then I realized he didn’t
    have to write many jokes —
    — he just defined the words
    as the leftists do,
    which we skeptics
    see as comedy !
    When you combine government
    bureaucrats, politicians and
    computer games, what you get
    is non-science, better known as
    nonsense !
    I would like to offer another definition:
    .
    CO2 = the “miracle molecule”
    that can cause anything
    that frightens the chronically fearful.
    That phrase was stolen from a comment
    about another article, made by someone
    else, who deserves credit, but I will
    not remember his name,
    until 20 seconds
    after I post this comment.
    My climate blog
    Over 15,000 page views so far:
    http://www.elOnionBloggle.Blogspot.com

    • “CO2 = the “miracle molecule”
      that can cause anything
      that frightens the chronically fearful.”
      I haven’t been online since the last post,
      but realized I stole (borrowed)
      most of the CO2 definition above
      from a comment by ALLAN MACRAE,
      about another article — ALLAN is the
      ALL CAPS moniker guy whose comments
      are among the best at this website.
      Writing that good just had to be
      stolen and repeated, IMHO.

  41. Kinda alluded to in the discussion but ain’t the biggest (unfunny) joke of this climate thing= Thermometer?
    Define: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/thermo-

    Definition of thermo- in English:
    thermo-
    combining form
    Relating to heat.
    ‘thermodynamics’
    ‘thermoelectric’

    What to notice= NOT temperature
    ….which is exactly what they’re being used for right now.
    A thermometer should measure and/or record energy
    The joke is on *everyone* because where is the conversion factor for temp>climate, it’s just assumed everyone knows it.
    A real/actual climate measuring station, in my book, should not be a silly little white box with a thermometer inside and a wind speed gauge.
    It should be a contraption that records every Joule (as best it can) of energy inside a cube of (say) 1,000 metres on a side – the lower face of said cube being maybe 10metres below ground level.
    And they can/should be everywhere – yes – inside cities and airports
    And no to BoM Australia, one reading per second is ‘appeasement’ at its worst, one record every half hour will be fine.
    As it ‘appens, very large numbers of such things already do exist.
    Already ‘in position’ in all the places where ‘climate’ is important.
    And they are incredibly sensitive.
    You’re sitting inside one right now.
    Only problem being the man/machine interface – how to extract the trend lines?
    Last little point, subject= self-awareness.
    Mostly as Baby Boomers, the folks we are taking the P out of here are, mostly, our own children

  42. carbon dioxide — “The secret knob that controls the climate”.
    ************************************************************************************
    LOL in todays socio-political times could even phrase that (not to “mansplain” this here….) as male genitalia — “The secret knob that controls the climate”.

  43. How about
    “As the climate warms” – “In the name of Gaia, the merciful and compassionate.”
    “Impacted by climate change” – “Happened on a planet with an atmosphere and an ocean.”
    “Equilibrium climate sensitivity” – “When the cows come home” (climate never has and never will attain equilibrium.)

  44. Global warming fears could be the result of a spelling mistake because clearly there is no “F” in global warming. The reality is that those in power think we think we should believe all this nonsense of climate change and give up our money to them for no reason. at all.

  45. My suggestion:
    Adjustment: The only way we can turn data into scary numbers.
    Then “climate feedback” becomes: See Adjustment.

  46. human fingerprint — “We can’t explain what caused it, so it must be from people acting badly”.
    In recent years, scientists have successfully identified the human fingerprint on hot years, heatwaves, and a range of other temperature extremes around the world. But as everyone knows, climate change affects more than just temperature.
    The “signal” of human-induced climate change is not always clear in other weather events, such as cold snaps or episodes of extreme rainfall.
    Three new studies, released today as part of a special edition of the Bulletin of the American Meteorological Society, take a closer look at two such events, both of which happened in southern Australia in mid-2016: the frosts that hit Western Australia’s South West, and the extremely wet weather that hit much of southeastern Australia during that year’s winter and early spring.
    https://theconversation.com/not-just-heat-even-our-spring-frosts-can-bear-the-fingerprint-of-climate-change-89029
    Can you imagine a court case where they used knife wounds as evidence of poisoning.

    • Sorry, your link is very far from conclusive, and relies too much on the assumption that AGW is real for starters. The studies referred to may “suggest” there’s evidence of a “human fingerprint” but that’s all they do at most. It certainly should be possible to demonstrate changes in climate on a local basis that reveal a “human fingerprint” where soil use or tree cover has been considerably modified, but what is being discussed in the link are observable but only speculatively explained variations (which may or may not be natural) predicated on the claimed but unproven existence of AGW.
      Believers believe in their Gods, however absurd, however unlikely, and those who believe should surely be aware of the human tendency to believe and should look very carefully at what they believe and why, in every realm of their lives – as most genuine sceptics hopefully already do. Feynman said that the easiest people to fool are ourselves. Someone once wrote on here that humans are “belief machines”. Claims worth taking very seriously in my view.

  47. Tipping Point:- place where crap theories are dumped; place on the space-time continuum that recedes ever so slightly faster than events can approach it; innocent sounding but deadly time and place where scary, legendary and irreversible things happen to naughty people; a mythical animal with very sharp teeth, vengeful tendencies, that can only be summoned by second rate academics, and apparently is very similar in appearance to grandma walking backwards in a kinda weird cloak.

  48. ____ than previously thought – we are doubling down on doom porn
    As in “Scientists increasingly believe that devastating winter storms like Bomb Cyclone Beelzebub are more directly linked to tailpipe emissions and cow flatulence than previously thought.”

  49. “Ever” — qualifier of superlatives to indicate things that haven’t happened since the Earth was first formed in 1970.

  50. “Polar Vortex” — cold air traveling south for the winter because it’s gotten too hot at the north pole.

  51. Adjustments = The fudge factor(s) required to past observations to make present BS projections about the future seem palatable.

  52. Sorry to be so late with this. “Black hole”: Matter so dense, with gravity so powerful, nothing, including light, can get out. Where Dr. Mann has placed the “non-temperature-sensitive” paleoclimate proxy data.

    • RE: “Where Dr. Mann has placed the “non-temperature-sensitive” paleoclimate proxy data.”
      Which reminds me; I thought ‘crap’ meant something different in climatology circles. IE: CG emails. We also learned that ‘trick’ meant something different. Funny how both came up when Mann was the subject . . .

  53. Willis, I’ve enjoyed your many contributions here, but this one I had to share with my own readers. Predictably, those of the orthodox persuasion can’t think of their own contributions. The usual response is that making humour out of climate change just shows how threadbare the sceptics’ arguments are…
    http://donaitkin.com/a-climate-dictionary/

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