Friday Funny: The One Holy Underlying Theory of All Weather


Date: 07/01/18

Rex Murphy, National Post

Any variety of weather whatsoever can be traced, if you keep the grants flowing and the contradictions unexamined, to the One Holy Underlying Theory of All Weather.


Fortunately, the Jesuitical mandarins of Pembina and Greenpeace and Sierra, assisted by the sovereign intellects of Bill Nye (your smarmy weather guy), Neil Young, Prince Charles and the concentrated brain power of the entire Green Party (Elizabeth May Inc.) are on the case: batting away their simplistic mockeries and confounding them with whole buckets of settled science and clips from We Day. And reminding everyone that they have long ago “rebranded” Global Warming so it does not mean that anymore. It’s Climate Change now, up, down, across and around. Climate Change, meteorology’s ToE (Theory of Everything).

We are fortunate to have such guardians, to direct us away from our senses, and beckon us back on the road to faith. Climate Change can cause cold temperatures, too, they intone. And wet weather. And dry. Hurricanes and cyclones. Droughts and floods. In fact, any variety of weather whatsoever can be traced, if you but model hard and often enough, keep the grants flowing and the contradictions unexamined, to the One Holy Underlying Theory of All Weather. Climate Change, everything proves it. It’s the scientific method at its best.

Read more:

h/t to Allan Macrae

76 thoughts on “Friday Funny: The One Holy Underlying Theory of All Weather

  1. Climate Change is a safe harbor. If you believe the Bible (and archaeologists), there was the Great Flood, surely a climate change. If you believe geologists, there were Ice Ages, surely a climate change.

  2. I have yet to see any verifiable proof of Climate Stagnation or Ice Sheet Balance for that matter.
    Climate is always changing
    Ice Sheets are always growing or shrinking

  3. Numerous myths and legends from all over the world refer to a great flood. Some stories even refer to more than one flood afflicting humanity, but the common theme among virtually all of them is that ‘gods’ used them as a form of punishment for disobedience, immorality, greed, and other forms of human corruption.

    Science, on the other hand, has been trying to rationalize these events, searching for verification of natural disasters that could have been interpreted as ‘acts of the gods’. The great flood is one of the topics under investigation.

    At the moment, there are two predominant theories about the Biblical story of Noah’s Ark and the great flood. The most popular one is the flooding of the Black Sea. This theory was initially proposed in 1990 by two Columbia University scientists, William Ryan and Walter Pitman. Archaeologists have found evidence of shipwrecks and ancient pottery, as well as the remains of people that died in a great flood in the Black Sea about 7,000 years ago. They estimate that more than 150,000 square kilometres of land was submerged under water at the time. This theory suggests that the flooding disaster may have later translated into the story of Noah and the great flood. Robert Ballard, an explorer and archaeologist who found the wrecked remains of the Titanic, strongly supports the Black Sea theory, and is trying to discover more proof to support it.

    The second theory, which was proposed by archaeologist Bruce Masse in 2004, is that a comet crashed to Earth about 5,000 years ago, creating huge tsunamis and weather changes that led to the flooding of many areas. His evidence is based on mythological accounts and ancient drawings, but there is no hard evidence to suppor this view.

    • There was indeed a flood. The ice had all melted by 8-10 Ky ago, and the oceans came up 380 feet globally. This is the Universal Flood fact which almost all humanity that lived near the oceans over millenniums had a collective memory of. It took many, many generations, but it was remembered. And noticed in a life time.

      • I read something many years ago about the Mediteranean drying up a couple of times in the past when the Strait of Gibraltar closed off, and reflooding when it reopened.
        If I remember correctly, the last one was well over a million years ago, so probably played no role in any legends.

      • The Mediterranean might have already filled by 8000 years ago but it appears that the black sea was a smaller lake of fresh water below sea level with the Bosporus yet to form.

      • in any case, the Mediterranean sea and the ocean were ~100 m lower a few millennia ago, and when their level rose, at a point a storm would had been all what was needed to turn a previously harmless high tide into a devastating, Katrina’s like event, flooding Atlantis, Ys, etc. Just imagine how Katrina would be remembered if we had no writing/recording equipment, and how it would be explained if we had no knowledge about this kind of weather events…
        A flood is not an extraordinary claim requiring extraordinary evidence. So my personal Occam’s razor says that, if folklore says a flood and Troy’s war occured, a flood did occur just like Troy’s war.

    • The Black Sea Flood could also be the origin of Atlantis stories. Atlantis could be on a hill submerged in the Black Sea.

    • Noah’s Ark is near the top of Mt. Ararat in Turkey. The government won’t let anyone near it, but it’s been photographed (from space, as I recall) and measured (so many cubits x so many). There is also other evidence of a great world-wide flood.

      • Believe that and you’ll even believe that man-made CO2 is the predominant cause of the 0.72 C° of global warming that the IPCC tells us has been experienced over the 100 years ending 2005.

      • Mt. Ararat is over 3000m above sea level there isn’t enough water on the planet to get sea level up that high. Even the doomsday cult called CAGW realize it can only go up 70 meters more from where we are today.

      • “World-wide-flood” … so, where did the water come from for that? More importantly, where did it go afterwards?

      • “World-wide-flood” … so, where did the water come from for that? More importantly, where did it go afterwards?

      • Richard

        Two flood events: both may have been caused by a slight tilt in the pole, either from impact or internal mechanisms. 3100 BC and 1650 BC. The wobble from the 3100 BC event is still detectable as a 10ft wobble of the North Pole. Originally it had a seven year excursion which lasted as a visible movement of the planets, rapidly dying down as the lithosphere ‘caught up’ to the mantle from which it was displaced. One estimate is that the displacement was 1/2 a degree.

        Following the event of 3100 BC there was a massive change in the climate with warm region trees in the UK going extinct, being replaced by much colder species. Farming all but ceased at the time (in the UK). Doggerland went under and the civilisation living on the what is now the floor of the Irish Sea disappeared save in a few islands to the North. Local legends record the reaction of the king who managed to flee to one of those islands. He went mad.

      • Not likely. The Hebrews were Sumerian, and would have been well within rudimentary history, as they had access to cuneiform. At about 1500, they were likely using hieroglyphics as Egyptian guests, as well as the other Hyksos peoples. The 16th Dynasty would likely be the one to enslave them, as they had a rather virulently anti-foreign attitude.

    • AleaJactaEst -January 12, 2018 at 2:18 pm

      At the moment, there are two predominant theories about the Biblical story of Noah’s Ark and the great flood.

      Biblical stories are a “dime a dozen” simply because most every one of them is comprised of 95+% fictional verbiage “thunked-up” by their actual authors.

      The Biblical account (story) about “Noah and a world-wide flood” is nothing more than a paraphrased/plagiarized version of a far, far older Sumerian (later Babylonian and Assyrian) story about a world-wide flood, ….. known as The Flood of Gilgamesh.

      The Judeans, who authored most of the stories that are included in the Bible (Old Testament), most surely learned about the Gilgamesh flood story either before or during their 58 years in Babylonian captivity, beginning in 597 BCE (2,597 years BP) and ending in 539 BCE. Read more @

      And “Yes”, most every ancient culture/civilization that there is a “historical record” of, ……. all had a story about a “world-wide flood” that was passed down to their descendants via either verbal or written stories.

      And for good reason too, because their “little” part of the world was surely “flooded” during the Post Glacial Sea Level Rise of 130 meters (427 feet) that began some 22,000 years BP, to wit:

  4. Keep asking why climate sensitivity has resisted an agreed number. Ask if climate sensitivity to CO2 is actually zero, because mechanisms whisk away any heat that might be generated by radiation impacting CO2, for net zero effect. Clouds can do this. Geoff.

    • Well, the climate is now so sensitive that it could be triggered by asking too many pressing questions. Its a Sensitive New Age Climate and it shouldn’t be bullied or demeaned – especially by white males, Geoff!

  5. The basic Problem with Climate Change Modeling is that it is slavishly tied to the GIGO Principle (Garbage In, Garbage Out for the non-geeks). As a result, Climate Modelers have been completely unable to produce a Model which covers ALL Possible Outcomes listed at the SAME TIME, such as Monsoons AND Droughts, Overheating AND Freezing, or any pair of other diametrically opposed conditions. If Ice is accumulating, it cannot also be retreating. I am still waiting for the predicted Magnetic Poles to swap places because of excess Antarctic Ice vs. Arctic Melting, suggesting that the mechanism is the toppling over of the Earth due to unbalanced Ice Accumulation. MY Models clearly show the possibility (just don’t ask me for the proof or the data). Surely I have the same opportunity to publish without providing data, formulas, error statistics, rationality, or any other factor that seems to be Standard for Climate Change Proponents!

  6. I seem to remember that it was USA President George W who began correctly referring to Global Warming as Climate Change (climate always changes).

    Then the AGW crowd co-opted the Climate Change phrase….
    Brilliant tactic.

    • You can read 10 articles per month for free at that newspaper:

      Unfortunately, like almost everything else in Canada, it has veered off into Climate Crisis mode more recently but it still has writers like Rex and others from the good old days.

      Rex also does commentary for the CBC, Canada’s Pravda TV, where I’m sure he is viewed as a very bad skunk at their progressive picnic. No doubt Canada’s Very Special Prime Minister and his dense sidekick Climate Barbie wish he was gone from there but too many of the pesky literate public love him.

      • Actually, the National Post is fairly conservative and right wing. Especially the Financial Post section. Not a lot of CAGW drivel, especially when coming to the regressive carbon taxation. About the only thing worth reading in Canada these days.

        If you get locked out after 10 articles, just press the back button and then the reload page real quick. A bit tricky on a real high speed connection, but can be easily done with practice. Or send them some money for a subscription, since I hope they are the last Rag standing.

        Right on Rex, you tell it like it is. Always look forward to you and Conrad’s thoughts on things, as well as others.

      • Earthling2

        I’ve never come across (recently) a 10 article limit.

        Maybe “private/incognito” browsing?

      • “Actually, the National Post is fairly conservative and right wing.”

        Yes, relative to the CBC it is but it has been trending leftward rapidly in the past year. Their coverage of American news is really going off the deep end. Approaching CNN levels of Trump bashing and, like most of the US MSM, not covering the real political mega-scandal that is emerging.

        I think they see the writing on the wall: due to unfortunate lack of alternatives it looks like Very Special PM Trudeau is going to be there for a while and, like all the failing MSM companies they would like to get some government cash.

      • The 10 limit article is on and off…not sure why but my technique works if it is on. Just a regular browser, but can also have 3 browsers going, so X3.

        Yes, I notice the leftist drivel creeping in, but if they keep that up, they will exticnt themselves🦕. Maybe they are sucking up to his highness JT, hoping to get in on a bailout for the print media. If I ever read a coloumist who spouts a Marxist agenda, then I remember their name and never read anything by them again. Same here, but Luckilly there is still a majority of intelligent sane discourse. Too bad about letting idiots and trolls cruise here, but then maybe some think the same of me. WUWT is a holdout on original democracy and free thought. If we ever lose this, or are censured, then it is game over. Live long and Prosper Anthony…Your reward is in heaven.

  7. It becomes easier the understand the hoax if you view it as a religion. As established religions were destroyed by the secular governments people needed something to replace the missing part in their lives. AGW fit the bill to a T since it gave the masses a way to become holy again. It gave them a warm and fuzzy feeling when they were told that they mattered and could make a change in the lives around them. The high priests soon wrote their computerized scriptures that could not be disproved either. Truth can never affect the faith of a true believer.

  8. Rex is a true hero of common sense in a Country that loves liberalism, Climate change Dogma and Carbon taxes.

  9. What I can’t understand is how people are making such a big deal out of what up to now have only been minor negatives without hardly ever talking about the huge positives the extra c02 supplies mankind!

  10. Climate has always changed.
    But Global Warming was expected to cause positive feedbacks that led to dangerous tipping points. If climate now changes both ways – warm and cold – then the problem disappears.
    We aren’t being pushed towards the feared (and fantastic) tipping points.

    Basic physics tells us that the impact of CO2 declines exponentially. That’s Beer-Lambert’s Law.

    If Climate Change has now replaced Global Warming then something else has replaced GHG emissions as the significant driver of the climate.

    • If Climate Change has now replaced Global Warming…

      Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change: founded 1988.

      The article was satirical. Not to be mistaken with factual.

      • ” A change in the average temperature of the planet, disrupting *normal* climate and weather patterns regionally.”

        Averages, and in particular “global average” temperatures, as well as “normal” climate, provide infinitely fungible terms.

        This is why they will be relying on children, actors and actresses, and humanities majors to perpetuate the theory.

      • Averages, and in particular “global average” temperatures, as well as “normal” climate, provide infinitely fungible terms.


        Global average temperature isn’t ‘fungible.’ Climate normals are the average of weather (classically, over 30 years).

        I don’t see why anyone should have any difficulty understanding what average means, as well as outliers or changes from average. Take the ice ages of the late Quaternary. These are clear changes in average conditions, globally and regionally. A kilometer thick ice sheet overlaying the Northern parts of the NH landmasses is not ‘fungible. Neither is sea level change of 100 meters.

    • Thanks for posting that clipe. I remember seeing that when it happened and the reaction of the CBC’s Bagdad Bob (Mansbridge) – a big condescending smirk – was too revealing.

      Worth noting that, as far as I know, that was the ONLY coverage of Climategate by the CBC. I considered that – covered or not – to be a good litmus test for who was, and is, full tilt propagandists.

  11. I’m noticing a change! What was Global Warming morphed into Climate Change and is now becoming Climate Crisis. They are nothing if not adaptable.

    • First there was Global Warming. The there was Anthropogenic Global Warming. Then there was Catastrophic Anthropogenic Warming. The there was Climate Change. Then they tried Climate Weirding, and settled on Catastrophic Climate Change. If I were researching a firm in which to invest, and saw that the firm continuously re-branded their principle product, and the public kept avoiding buying the product, then I’d take my money elsewhere. Unfortunately, the Governments and NGOs are the principle investors, and are not acting as rational investors.

      What will the next re-brand be? After all, the settled science is primarily a marketing exercise.

      • Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change: founded 1988.

        Fact is ‘Climate Change’ and ‘Global Warming’ have been used in the scientific literature for half a century at least, well predating the rhetoric in the blogosphere.

  12. Global warming / Climate change is the best example of a scientific theory that fits Wolfgang Pauli’s often quoted phrase — a theory that it not even wrong.

    • It is not change that people do not believe in.
      That which is not believed is “catastrophe” and carbon based fuels are the cause.
      Weather and climate(s) are within natural Earth systems.
      As precautionary steps, I suggest not building on barrier islands and other low lands next to oceans.
      Likewise, I would not build on land recently vacated by a glacier.
      Wind powered machines, solar panels, and electric autos are not precautionary regarding climate change because they do not impact the processes.

      • “It is not change that people do not believe in.”

        I don’t believe in it. With the possible exception of the Sahel, no climate on Earth has changed for a hundred years.

      • Gamecock, my local one has. Fewer cyclones and the winters are definitely not as cold. As climate is the average of years, yes, it has changed.

    • Sam, is that sarc tag missing?
      If not please define your terms.
      What is Climate Change?
      I suspect the whole scam would collapse in a week if each user of that phrase,was forced to define their terms.
      Currently Climate Change has so many apparent meanings, to be rendered meaningless.

      • I think it’s pretty obvious. A change in the average temperature of the planet, disrupting *normal* climate and weather patterns regionally.

        Are there other meanings?

      • Barry, as the climate is always changing the concept of “normal” climate is a furphy, it simply cannot exist. Or put another way, since the climate is always changing then a changing climate *is* normal.

  13. “Fortunately, the Jesuitical mandarins of Pembina and Greenpeace and Sierra, assisted by the sovereign intellects of Bill Nye (your smarmy weather guy), Neil Young, Prince Charles and the concentrated brain power of the entire Green Party (Elizabeth May Inc.) are on the case: batting away their simplistic mockeries and confounding them with whole buckets of settled science and clips from We Day.”

    Sometimes, writers say much more than they intend to say! (:

  14. Whether global warming or climate change, it has all been linked to the sun in some way. All we need to do is extinguish the sun and everything will be A-okay!

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